OCTOBER 1998 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1998


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Michael Jeans-Jakobsson with:
If at first you don't succeed =
Try deft, if cautious, second!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Hail Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with thee =
The Holy Ghost laid her? Artful miracle, wife!

3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Can anyone vote, and where is a complete list of categories? =
O, only active, elite, deft, ace anagram poets choose winners.

Larry Brash with:
"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?" =
Fop think he needs to Xerox the nose wipe. Gulp!

Larry Brash with:
"My mind is made up - don't confuse me with facts." =
We must use iffy data to condemn chimp minds.

Paul Equinox Collins with:
Where can I get a copy of the newsgroup FAQ? =
Why, I can go get the new paper FAQ, of course!

Fabulana with:
Is Mary an immaculate conception? =
You accept no man; is it miracle, man?

Fabulana with:
Is Mary immaculate conception? =
I'm a mom. I accept corny tale. U sin!

Jean Fontaine with:
The Swinging Sixties =
Thing we sing: "Sex is it!"

Jean Fontaine with:
The Nerdy Nineties =
Shy, I need Internet.

Jean Fontaine with:
E pluribus unum =
U.S. rule up in bum.

Jean Fontaine with:
Love at first sight =
Last fight! It's over!!

Jon Gearhart with:
"Quality assurance in higher education" =
A richly unique graduate thesis. An icon.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The Repressive Fifties =
Feverish Rep. testifies.

Mattias Inghe with:
I'm an old Mac man =
Manic ol' madman.

Steve Krakowski with:
Astronauts =
NASA's tutor.

Steve Krakowski with:
Knights of the Round Table =
Lads hunt for the King to be.

Meyran Kraus with:
Duplicate Bridge =
Get card, lie, bid up!

Meyran Kraus with:
Fire alarm is on =
I roar in flames.

Meyran Kraus with:
A misanthrope =
Is pro man-hate.

Meyran Kraus with:
Strangulation =
Air at lungs? Not!

Keith Lehman with:
Birds and Bees =
Send babies, Dr.

Tom Myers with:
Summit nets treaty =
Trust tames enmity.

Mick Tully with:
Strip Poker =
Risk topper.

Mick Tully with:
Traffic Warden =
Car tiff? Warned.

Mick Tully with:
Policewoman =
O! I'm penal cow.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
And they lived happily ever after =
Help end the very vapid fairy tale.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
George Orwell's Animal Farm =
Law allegories from manger.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Ludwig van Beethoven's Fifth Symphony in C minor =
Hint: Hymn V by deaf composer. Fun! Loving it! He wins!

Jean Fontaine with:
Once upon a time... =
Continue a poem.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"They're writing songs of love but not for me..." =
Forget this lousy environment! Forget! (Bow...)

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes =
Novel embodying exact squire duet.

Steve Krakowski with:
Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" =
Life's kernel? Sh! Try any means!

Meyran Kraus with:
Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" =
Her entry yells: "Fake man? Sins!"

Meyran Kraus with:
Beyond the Stars =
Shy Stone? Bed art!

Richard Peers with:
University Challenge =
Such learning - live, yet!

David James Polewka with:
Daytona International Speedway =
No, Andretti dies at lap one, anyway.

Mick Tully with:
Hardcore Pornography =
Choreograph randy pro.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Independent Counsel Report =
Let porn denounce President?

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Party line vote =
Polarity event.

3rd - Mick Tully with:
Rushdie decree lifted =
The dude's cried: "Relief!"

Larry Brash with:
Pauline Hanson loses her seat =
One Nation useless? Ah! Slap her!

Larry Brash with:
South Africa's Truth And Reconciliation Report =
Nelson (patriarch) and Tutu. Choir for atrocities.

Jordan Gibson with:
Conservative Party Conference =
Fever incorporates accent envy.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Augusto Pinochet Arrested In London =
O! Chilean tourist ponders at dungeon.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
A retired Army Officer's letter to Clinton =
Do not fornicate tart, Sir. I merely reflect.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Author Jose Saramago is the new Nobel Prize for Literature =
Arbiters zoom in a Portuguese jewel. Translate fair hero! Oh!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Balkanize =
Blaze a kin.

Mattias Inghe with:
The iMac =
Acme hit.

Tom Myers with:
Merrill-Lynch to cut jobs =
Bulls met jolt - Rich cry on.

Tom Myers with:
England arrests Augusto Pinochet =
Page one: dictator slaughters nuns.

Tom Myers with:
England arrests Augusto Pinochet =
Ernesto Guiraldes caught - no pants!

Tom Myers with:
Fisher-Price =
Fire - he crisp.

Mick Tully with:
The Conservative Party Conference =
French contraceptive on every seat?

Mick Tully with:
Ted Hughes Poet Laureate =
The late, august, deep hero.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with:
I have noticed guys staring at my... Well, that's another story! =
Horny amoral eyes view that naughty coed's startling tits!

eq.2nd - Larry Brash with:
Frank Scott Leshoguine =
Rotten fucking asshole!

eq.2nd - Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Mike Tyson & Evander Holyfield =
He and I fervently like sodomy.

Larry Brash with:
Testosterone =
Roots teen set.

Richard Brodie with:
The world's first human dick transplant =
New phallus transforms, 'n' that did trick!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Good morning heartache =
A good one-night charmer.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
It is an Equal opportunity/Affirmative action employer =
Private fornications 'n' fellatio are equity! Optimum pay!

Mattias Inghe with:
Quality assurance in higher education =
Quite gay incest anal hardcore. Uuh! I sin!

Mattias Inghe with:
Romance? =
No cream!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Birds and The Bees =
Breed bent shitheads!

Meyran Kraus with:
X Rated Movies =
Sex video-mart.

Keith Lehman with:
Monsignor Adam Lyman =
Anal orgasm on my mind.

Keith Lehman with:
Gay and Lesbian Studies =
Anus is genitals daybed.

Tom Myers with:
Fantasy Island =
Sandy anal fist.

Graham Perkins with:
Stylish flat-pack kitchen units =
Fuck this! Still cheap 'n' nasty kit.

Mick Tully with:
"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?" =
Often explode whitish-green snot, pox?... He puke!

Mick Tully with:
President =
Inserted P.

Mick Tully with:
Anal retentive =
A latrine event?

Mick Tully with:
Lubrication =
Rub it, Nicola.


THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Keith Lehman with:
I have a great way to make money on the Internet using emailing that I will share for free. =
I am a thief. A liar for revenue. Why not mail green money, OK? It's a genital thing, sweetheart.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
You can do it! It's so easy! =
I say it's a con! Out, ye sod!

3rd - Wilhelm Noeker with:
An unregistered version of Newsgroup AutoPoster PRO posted this article! =
A poor transgressor's deed. To grip people, shun counterintuitive software!

Larry Brash with:
Hot 'n' Nasty! Free Membership! =
No spam enters here! Fib? Myth!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Tired of not making money on the internet? =
Don't torment my inner ego, innate thief! OK?

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
You could literally stop time dead in its tracks? I'm not talking about unplugging your clock. =
Mick Tully & Ernesto Guiraldes' tip to scantly lit idiot: "Plug you to a bulging cock and run amok!"

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Look & Feel Younger "Guaraneed" X-Reply-To: twp9@hotmail.com =
Fuck you, repellent maggot! Open hoax lowered morality.

Richard Peers with:
Be a noble person. Become a LORD for ONLY $150!!!!! =
$150 "earl" spam? Bleed on, booby, felon or crone!

Mick Tully with:
Win a Vacation or Honeymoon a day! =
Came away on a horny notion?... Avoid.

Mick Tully with:
Free XXX PAssWOrd AnD PiXz =
Ex NZ pro's "X" ad: "Dwarf sex pix!"


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - John Morahan with:
All men are created anagrammable, but some are more anagrammable than others. =
A man's name should be rearrangeable to become, ah, a real grammar maltreatment?

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Now what? The Office of the Secret Service had worried that Monica could maim the President's "you know what", and that she was planning on killing Hillary, also. =
Keen lady? Lorena with fangs! Tryst "cut short", manhood undone. New meaning to the phrase "I swallow." Erotic castration? Off with his "head"! Halve dick, will impeach.

3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
I've gotten myself in a bind
Doing those *gang* things from behind
I never will learn
In Hell I will burn
For giving that gal a rear-grind
--E. O. Washebridge
=
I fear I might end in Hell
For what I've done, I sadly tell
Laverne was grinning
Right from the beginning
Does bang the gong slow ring a bell?
--Bard Uri VII

Larry Brash with:
Create your personal webpage in ten min. No costs or programing involved. =
Congratulations! We improve on spam (even NG con or pleas) by reordering it.

Jon Gearhart with:
"If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you." =
If dicks try to devise funny sayin' out of crud sig too...

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
It is an Equal opportunity/Affirmative action employer =
You mean I (Latin-American pervert) qualify to post, if I opt...?

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"Lysergic acid diethylamide" anagrams to "I'd dig Tim Leary's delicacy, eh?" =
Mighty Larry did (delicately) say "Chico-de-mierda", seeing a digital scam.

Richard Brodie with:
'"Lysergic acid diethylamide" anagrams to "I'd dig Tim Leary's delicacy, eh?"' anagrams to 'Mighty Larry did (delicately) say "Chico-de-mierda", seeing a digital scam'. =
I, Ernesto, did greet mate anagrammatically, comically. Yes I did! "Ha! Ha! Ha!"? Si! I, anagrammatist, giggled at amigo's richly recycled dyadic lyric deeds. Yes I did!

Keith Lehman with:
Reply to me with "MAKING MONEY" in the subject, and I will send you all the details. =
Male'll rape wallets. Licentious attitude when in thigh. Send donkey, Jimmy boy!

Richard Peers with:
Advertising must be trite. It's the law of the jingle. =
Just total time-wasting drivel - "Get it here!", hen fibs...


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Michael Lepore with:
Michael Lepore =
Hello! I'm a creep!

2nd - Mick Tully with:
Slobodan Milosevic =
Is manic - loves blood.

3rd - Richard Peers with:
Binyamin Netanyahu, Israeli PM =
Aaiyy! Palestinian men burn him!

Larry Brash with:
The Princess Royal =
Pointless archery.

Larry Brash with:
George Dubec =
Crude ego beg.

Larry Brash with:
Mark "Biggles" Palmer =
Kill beggar-spammer!

Larry Brash with:
Stephen P. Carl =
Help scrap Net.

Richard Brodie with:
Stephen P. Carl, programming teacher =
Her anagramming.cpp - Let's cheer Port!

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Donald Robert Anderson =
Deodorant brand: "Loner's".

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Erica Biancalice Alice Mignone =
Me, I can be a nice girl in lace. Ciao!

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
The Spice Girls =
Crisis! Get help!

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Paul McCartney & Ringo Starr =
Carry along t' music, partner.

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Mike Tyson & Evander Holyfield =
I don't deny ear, folks. (My, he evil!)

Jon Gearhart with:
Professor Mel O'Cinneide =
Desire one PC info morsel.

Jordan Gibson with:
William Hague, Tory Party leader =
I am a wealthy, putrid ogre really.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Donald Robert Anderson =
Dr. Ernesto, a London bard.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The Archbishop of Westminster =
"Town's best preacher" fits him. Oh...

Michael Jeans-Jakobsson with:
Michael Schumacher =
He crash: Much malice.

Ian Jennings with:
Dennis Andrew Nilsen =
New drains lends nine.

Ian Jennings with:
Samuel Herbert Dougal =
Eh! gruesome brutal lad.

John Morahan with:
Sir Isaac Newton =
Was not a nice sir.

Tom Myers with:
Gene Autry =
Gayer tune.

Tom Myers with:
Thomas Myers =
My, he so smart.

Mick Tully with:
Miss Chelsea Clinton =
Collects shame in sin.

Mick Tully with:
The Princess Royal =
Hysterical person.

Mick Tully with:
William Hague, Tory Party leader =
What, I'm a dire Tory plague? Really?

Mick Tully with:
Ron Davies, Ex-Welsh Secretary =
Sex act? Loser drives anywhere.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Tom Myers with:
Fayetteville, North Carolina =
Fat violent reactionary hell.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Coors Brewing Co., Golden, Colorado =
God's own organic beer. Cool or cold?

3rd - Richard Peers with:
University of East Anglia =
Gaunt, I sit finals; over, yea!

Larry Brash with:
The Sydney Opera House =
Posh? They serenade you.

Paul Equinox Collins with:
University of East Anglia =
No tasty gal in UEA? Five, sir!

Mattias Inghe with:
Dejanews =
Sweden? Ja!

Michael Jeans-Jakobsson with:
The Sydney Opera House =
Yeah! used stereophony.

Earle Jones with:
Girl Scouts of America =
Sacrifices to glamour.

Keith Lehman with:
Social Security =
Caustic Rosy Lie!

Tom Myers with:
Green Bay Packers =
Repay greenbacks.

Richard Peers with:
Netscape Navigator =
I can get at porn, save.

Richard Peers with:
Internet Explorer =
Pile next net error.

Mick Tully with:
The Sydney Opera House =
Yo! Espouse Haydn there.


THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with:
In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. =
Nothing. Then divine heated breath generated change.
A high-tech bang detonating event ended in earth here.

2nd - Steve Krakowski with:
Knights of the Round Table =
Lads hunt for the King to be.
Oh? Then tutors fabled King.
Fond OK; best hunt the Grail.
Oh! Thunder of King's battle.
Think of rough battle's end.
Death of truth, noble kings.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The act of fellatio =
Eat tool? Face-filth!
Felt the facial, too?
To fill face, eat hot.
Fat tool? I felt ache.
Felt hot oil at face.
Eat hole to afflict.
All of it to the face.

Larry Brash with:
Pauline Hanson loses her seat =
Australians? None hopeless, eh?
One Nation useless? Ah! Slap her!
Oh! The non-rule pleases Asians.

Larry Brash with:
You can do it! It's so easy! =
I say it's a con! Out, ye sod!
Idiot says aye to con us.
Idiot, nutcase, yoyo ass!
Idiocy at onset, you ass!
O! I do you, nice tasty ass.

Larry Brash with:
Hot 'n' Nasty! Free Membership! =
No theft by spammers in here!!
Her hymn: "Bet spam is not free!"
No spam enters here! Fib? Myth!
Abhorrent shit! PS, my fee, men.

Larry Brash with:
The Sydney Opera House =
Oh, yes, dearest euphony!
Yep, hear the sound? O! Yes!
Deny hear the opus? O, yes!
Stereo euphony days, eh?

Richard Brodie with:
Wright State University =
Very huge tits win artist.
Naughty tits stir viewer.
When guys arrive: tit! tits!
Sure! Ravishing wet titty!
Virtue? Nay, sir, wet tights!
Sweet virgin? Ya! Thrust it!
Varsity swine hit gutter.

Richard Brodie with:
The world's first human dick transplant =
End small, thin pricks. Now strut fat, hard.
New phallus transforms, 'n' that did trick.
Stitch wankers? Up? Damn! Darn soft thrill.

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Independent Counsel Report =
Let porn denounce President?
Unprecedented lint snooper.
Pound resplendent erection.
Clinton rued opened present.
CNN: "Re people -- dud! No interest!"

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Coors Brewing, Golden, Colorado =
Cold snow, or cold beer, or go agin'?
Wrong, Carlo; cold beer is no good!
O, Corona Gold is wrong cold beer.

Daniel F. Etter with:
What would Jesus do? =
He'd adjust soul. Wow.
Duel! Judas shot! Wow!
Jew would dash to us.

Jordan Gibson with:
Conservative Party Conference =
Voters fancy creepier covenant.
Vacant, perverse confectionery.
Perverts fornicate - convey acne.
Crafty, perverse, ace convention.
Accept inane controversy fever.
Fever incorporates accent envy.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"There's Something about Mary" =
Thy best menage-a-trois humor.
Guy seems "I'm-not-a-heart-throb"
A "genius" try bathroom themes.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
A retired Army Officer's letter to Clinton =
Do not fornicate tart, Sir. I merely reflect.
(To needy cretin): Retract from fellatio, Sir.
One fraternity code restrict fellatio, Mr.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
What is a spermicide? =
I am wise dispatcher.
Acidities swamp her.
What imprecise aids.
Wish eradicates imp.

John M. Jakobsson with:
William A. Levinson =
Vile mails, nail now!
Evil mails, nail now!
Now villain e-mails.

Meyran Kraus with:
Disco Generation =
Dance tires? I go on!
Creating noise OD.
To soiree-dancing?
I go stereo-dancin'.
No stereo? I can dig.
Desire? Contagion!
'Grease' condition.

Keith Lehman with:
Assassins do it from behind =
Soon miss fiendish bastard.
Sis add sin mobster fashion.
His soft, bridesmaid ass. Non?
Miss Bass, finish deodorant.
Ass shat forbidden mission.
Forbidden: Sis astonish Sam.
Mobster do Finnish AIDS ass.
Astonish boss. Find sidearm.

Keith Lehman with:
Gay and Lesbian Studies =
I bend a ugly ass instead.
Insatiable? Dandy guess...
Anus is genitals daybed.

Tom Myers with:
Fantasy Island =
Nasty and fails.
Day's final tans.

Mick Tully with:
Contribute Thoughts To Magazine Article =
Amazing subtitle: "Into the crotch? Outrage!"
It is not large? Touch,... Better,... touch,... Amazing!
Huge architecture, bottom so tantalizing!
I'm Bet, the outrageous, tantalizing crotch.
Amazing haircut? Not cool. Huge tits better!
Erotic tart: "Touch amazing, noble, huge tits!"

Mick Tully with:
Margaret Beckett, Leader of the House =
O fuck! Greater teeth? Oh dear. Stable me.
O fuck! 'as regrettable teeth? Oh dear me.
Fuck me! Great "horse-teeth" elaborated?
Eureka! Her teeth beat, flog Democrats.
O fuck! Oh dear me! Greater stable-teeth!
Harlot gums free teethcare debate OK?

Mick Tully with:
Impeachment =
Me? I'm the cap'n!
Nice tape? Hmm.
Met in Camp, eh?
Hemp antic? Me?

Mick Tully with:
General Augusto Pinochet =
Guarantee English cop-out.
Spain: "Net or cage huge lout."
Ole! Huge cunt to Spain! Rage?
Net caught rogue. Spain: "Ole!"
Europeans cite 'n' gaol thug.
Caught on route - Spain glee.
Great speculation? Enough!
Neat coup - English outrage.

Mick Tully with:
The Albert Memorial =
Horrible metal, mate.
Ah, memorable litter!
Member? Lethal ratio.
Male hero brittle, Ma?


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Cheating Death Itself

 

2nd - Graham Perkins with:
program gentler_nuns;
begin
writeln( "hello world" );
end.
=
MODULE longer;
BEGIN
WrStr( "hi_planet" );
WrLn
END longer.

 

3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Requiescat For Isola

 

Tom Myers with:
[A line-by-line anagram.]

I once knew a girl from Aruba,
Who was fond of snorkel and scuba.
Though this girl is a diver,
I would sure like to drive her.
And let her blow on my tuba.
=
Lack fur? I moan, a boner I grew.
Show bold funk on a sofa and screw.
A hot gush, this girl I drive.
Who'd sure like it rude, or live.
Rent anal body, mouth blew.

 


The Anagrammy Awards