Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999


1st - Wayne Baisley with:
Genetically modified food =
Died of E. coli, FDA lying to me.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Circumcision operation =
Caution: micro-precision!

3rd - Art Day with:
Fluoride toothpaste =
Fail? So, teeth drop out.

Wayne Baisley with:
A Gourmet Dinner =
Giant menu order.

Larry Brash with:
Three wood =
Oh, towered!

Richard Brodie with:
Who hath established all the ends of the earth? =
Who holds the fires that heat Hell? He'd be Satan!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Putting green =
Urgent: get pin!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Hole in one =
O non, he lie!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Televangelists =
Evillest agents.

Jon Gearhart with:
Extra-sensory perception =
Seer exerts crappy notion.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
I'm back. My summer vacation has ended =
I advertise my comeback, damn humans!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
What is an airport? =
Ah, a town airstrip!

Earle Jones with:
Rorschach Inkblot Test =
Brash's tenth cool trick.

Steve Krakowski with:
There is an exception to every rule!... (The exceptions?) =
There is an exception to every rule!... (Except this one.)

Meyran Kraus with:
Dream-Analysis =
Real mind-assay.

Meyran Kraus with:
A misandrist =
Man is as dirt.

Meyran Kraus with:
Hydrocephalus =
Cry: "Oh! Head plus!"

Paul Lusch with:
A pitcher of beer =
Before each trip.

Paul Lusch with:
Forty-eight years old =
Root's half grey - dye it!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Those European continental breakfasts =
Has calories? Non! None, pet. UK rate fat best.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Please don't mention the war =
Tend to weep: Torah men slain.

Janet Muggeridge with:
I make my bread =
I'm Bakery Dame.

Janet Muggeridge with:
You can't hide broccoli in a glass of milk =
Anti-social food blockage. Slimy urchin!

Tom Myers with:
Is it the abominable snowman? =
White baboon? Last simian men?

Tom Myers with:
Organic gardening =
Organic dinner. Gag!

Mick Tully with:
Waikato's filthiest student flat =
A loathful, fetid twit's site stank.


1st - Steve Krakowski with:
"Treasure Island" by Robert Louis Stevenson =
A lesson's been due, boy! Silver turns traitor.

2nd - Dan Fortier with:
"You've Got Mail" =
I'm a guy to love.

eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:
Rumpole of the Bailey =
Pomeroy. The bail fuel.

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Noddy and Big Ears =
Gay? Sordid. Banned.

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Head Music =
Hm... use acid!

Steve Krakowski with:
Star Trek: Voyager =
Ark T.V. story, agree?

Meyran Kraus with:
'Moby Dick' =
I'm by dock!

Mick Tully with:
Game, set and match =
That ace's damn gem!


1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Weather forecast: it will be very mild and sunny today =
Met. data didn't tell: rainy, icy, we shovel February snow.

eq.2nd - Mike Hatton with:
Glenn Hoddle sacked =
England's deck holed.

eq.2nd - William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
William Jefferson Clinton, President of the USA =
Intern fellated his penis off. Moral Justice Now!

Richard Brodie with:
Senate Impeachment Trial =
Terminate the Special Man!

Jim and Anne Crosbie with:
Impeach Clinton =
Let Monica pinch.

Katrina Crowell with:
Valentines =
Invent sale.

Art Day with:
No censure motion =
Continues no more?

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Jerry Falwell says Tinky Winky is gay =
Warns kinky telly fairy is sly gay jew.

Tom Myers with:
Right to life =
Got rifle hit.

Tom Myers with:
Quayle for President =
Parodies frequently.

Tom Myers with:
Closing Arguments =
Congressman: Guilt!

Tom Myers with:
Senate deliberations =
Intern eases load? I bet!

Tom Myers with:
Presidential Elections =
Lies resented in Capitol.

Tom Myers with:
Yeltsin Protests =
Testy portliness.

Tom Myers with:
Austrian Alps =
A splat as I run.

Graham Perkins with:
New Scotland Yard denies all =
Silly stand on dead Lawrence.

Mick Tully with:
Clinton Survives Senate Votes =
O, event insults conservatives.


1st - Larry Brash with:
Coitus interruptus =
Cunt users rip it out!

2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Apologies are NOT accepted. This is alt.anagrams, remember? I expect nothing less than the rudest of 'grams. Heck... I'd be disappointed if a few nasty ones didn't pop up! =
Let a mite nest in Rodley's genitals, then he can't screw Brenda. Get "shampoo", shithead. If orifice goes drip, pop ointment on tampax pad. Pad pubes. Get AIDS, assfucker!

3rd - William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
William Jefferson Clinton, President of the USA =
Intern fellated; Major lies; Now cut off his penis!

Richard Brodie with:
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. =
Unnatural torrents of lewdness can drown, ruin. Get it on with thine own wife, OK?

Tom Myers with:
Raped by Clinton =

Jim Swenson with:
Panty waist =
A pansy twit.


1st - Paul Equinox Collins with:
A little while back, I was browsing through some newsgroups, just like you are now. I came across an article similar to this that said you could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial investment of six dollars! I thought: "Damn, this must be a scam and illegal".
It was, but as that didn't stop you, you chose to vex us all with a new incarnation of the same limited story. Oh, I wish this jerk's cash claims were true, but I know such unmitigated trash is illegal and lacks kudos. So, we ignore mail or blame? O no! I'll find anagrams among all this swill.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Turn your computer into a 24 hr. a day cash machine!! =
A rich spammer (a nut), 24; I hurry to con and cheat you.

3rd - Richard Peers with:
Diet-less Diet Weight Loss No Dieting or Exercising and No Drugs, 100% Refund, Herbs and Vitamins =
100% shit message! Excise this brainless sodding net-turd. Die, die, virgin! O England, frown on turd!

Richard Brodie with:
I am a student at GA Tech and i was in desperate need of money being a college student. So I tried this program with the little extra time i had by just sending out emails and it made me a cool $20,000. Its so simple i dont know if ill even need to stay in college.
Do you want to disseminate a repeated lie? Don't send tasteless pseudo-legitimate bullshit. Be getting academic accomplishments and making something extremely worthwhile of your life. $20,000? Earn it! And don't join in eating at vile diseased toilet.

Jon Gearhart with:
Mendoza's Passwords Updated! =
Pre-wad zooms up Tadd's ass-end!

Jon Gearhart with:
We are happy to announce our MP3 cd's are now ready!! - we have three volumes available - 3 for $35 or $15 each. Send a fax to 407-677-4089 with the words mp3 and your email address for more info. The CDS are a mix of 70's-80's-90's- Hip-hop-Dance-Trance-Rave and breakbeat! And each contain 600 minutes(10 Hrs) of NONSTOP Music!
If you would prefer bein' screwed hard to an "OHHH!!" roar 139,500 times a day, then send $16,334,767,748,978,000,000 to us now. If not, pud-wad, send $35 to be removed from our "OHHH!!" roar list. Send cash, no checks accepted. Members of AAA can expect to receive a pair of Asian anal x-ray spammers via plane. --Theo Vann Warm-Anus

Ryan Goodland with:
Find the perfect gift for that special someone. =
The place to go to? Hint: Refer defect! I sniff spam.

John Morahan with:
test disregard =
Desist, rat-dreg!


1st - Richard Brodie with:
Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? =
So, can he pee on ice and both of gonads not turn blue?

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. =
Immaculate and pregnant? Horror! She's deluded about her abdominal mass. Whose fetus? From where? Your Jewish boyfriend's flesh got you in the family way, not Mr Ghost! That HRT tale of hers don't fool us.

3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Some penance for making jibes about an unhealthy European diet =
Bread 'n' muesli 'n' bananas 'n' fruit juice keep me on top. Oh yeah, go eat!

Richard Brodie with:
I'll say this: I am sure I would prefer to seethe in a hot jovial hell than to go and repose in a cold somber heaven. =
I hope Jehovah has a cool, ideal sense of humor. I'll bet a witty, lenient Lord out there loves inspired anagrams.

Richard Brodie with:
For better it is that it be said unto thee, Come up hither;
than that thou shouldest be put lower in the presence of the
prince whom thine eyes have seen. =
Be in haste to enter, eh? The peeved royal boot doth await
the unfit pesterer. Best shut up, then wait until the rich
prince summoneth thee, if he chooses.

Richard Brodie with:
Turn not to the right hand nor the left: remove thy foot from evil. =
Veer not from the truth lane. O move on forth; try to find the light.

Paul Equinox Collins with:
You do not have to be a regular here to get nominated. First ever postings have won awards on occasion. =
Not elite, we accept newbies' anagrams, too. Have donations? Don't hoard, hover or fear us; give! Go on, try us!

Meyran Kraus with:
"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets" =
Pushing these cute sled-dogs? Oh my! The poor animals... You're a nut!

Janet Muggeridge with:
I don't like spreading rumors, but what else can you do with them? =
Mick Tully: bed-rude poet, words' neon hue, anagram wit is shithot.

Janet Muggeridge with:
For sale: one bedroom bungalow with mature gardens =
Sorrowful abode, no sun, damage in tree. Worth gamble.

Richard Peers with:
"The email abuser you reported has been terminated from our service. Thanks for reporting." =
Another spammer put out of business! Think very hard before creating mere roar, or I delete!

Mick Tully with:
The Tinnitus Line just rang and rang, the Circumcision Line cut me off, the Diarrhoea Line was engaged all day, the Premature Ejaculation Line was all over in a couple of seconds, and I couldn't even get my phonecard into the slot to call the Impotence Line. As for the Amnesia Line, I couldn't remember the number. As for the Amnesia line, I couldn't remem...
Reflect once again, upon mad-hatter Victor Lewis-Smith's ace antenna, cool panache and jolly humour. The central London TV jester articulates dialling telephone lines dealing with eerie human problems: shitting efforts in outhouse latrine (O, idea! I'm due enema. Ace!); cumming; one's duff erection in cunt; bells-in-the-ear, memory-recall and dementia...

Mick Tully with:
"What is the correct ethical decision to make about a living cadaver that has demonstrated no brain activity for years, yet whose body lingers on in a state of persistent vegetative stasis? Pull the plug? Keep him switched on in the futile hope of miraculous mental recovery? In the end, my conscience could stand it no longer, so I did the humane thing and switched Wogan off..."
Television critic and antennae fascist, egomaniac Victor Lewis-Smith, slags-off fat, leaden-eyed Terry Wogan (he likens him to a turnip or a potato) the Irish TV and radio comic genius/ burned-out, ten-cent chat host with the unconvincing rug. See patient, whose every word is foul, behave. Mental diagnosis, tech hospital doctor? "Fuck me, dement! Be hasty to Hell, ye shite old Paddy!


1st - Art Day with:
Pat Robertson =
...or bent pastor?

2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Sir William MacPherson =
Low Mr Chair - I slip names.

3rd - Mick Tully with:
Lord Louis Mountbatten =
IRA TNT booms - undue toll.

Larry Brash with:
Dan P. Fortier =
Profane dirt.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Gary Coleman =
My carnal ego.

Richard Peers with:
George Washington =
Gash tree - going now!

Mick Tully with:
Vanessa Feltz =
TV sleaze, fans!

Mick Tully with:
Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill =
Chancellor Hitler in. Suspend Crown.


1st - Dan Fortier with:
United States Of America =
Its cause: attain freedom.

2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Sinclair and Girnigoe Castle =
Gaelic garrison: is it clan den?

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Outback Steakhouses =
Steak about chokes us.

Frank with:
Swift covert mob.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Only Democracy In The Middle East =
Oh, detected my one mythic land - Israel.

Meyran Kraus with:
The People's Court =
To help prosecute?

Meyran Kraus with:
The Baltic Sea =
Bathe, sail etc.

Tom Myers with:
News Radio =
Worn ideas.

Mick Tully with:
The General Medical Council =
Leeching, doc? It mean cure-all!

Mick Tully with:
Match of the Day =
Ah, Motty chafed.

Matthew Westcott with:
Intel Pentium Three Processor =
Use it? Incompetent errors: help!


1st - Tom Myers with:
Easter Holiday =
Deathly, I arose!
Arise! Holy date.
Deity heal, soar.

eq.2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Senate Impeachment Trial =
Terminate the Special Man!
Halt intimate menace Pres.
In a statement: Replace him!

eq.2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Please don't mention the war =
Tend to weep: Torah men slain.
Demean Hitler POWs? Not neat!
Interned POWs meant alot, eh?

Larry Brash with:
The General Medical Council =
Challenge cruel medication.
He con, glue, claim credential.
Lament clinical degree? Ouch!
Clinical degree? Heal mon cut.
Mr. Lech - Indian colleague, etc.
Clinic colleague harmed ten.
Technical colleague minder.

Larry Brash with:
Antisocial Personality Disorder =
O! A lie! I send dirty rascal to prison.
Illness? O! I rid nasty predator. Ciao!
Coarse predatory idiots; all in sin.
Ye old irrational narcissist dope.
A real cool nasty person? I did it, sir.
A real nasty old idiotic person, sir.
Poor ill ass; I'd treat on cyanide, sir.
In irons, slay, or decapitate, old sir.
Penitentiary door is solid, rascal.
O! Clinton is a disorderly parasite.

Larry Brash with:
Chyna of the World Wrestling Federation =
Contender? How deftly father is now a girl.
Now gonad and willy-free or fetch her tits.
The throw? Now officially transgendered.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Indiana University =
Dire annuity in Visa.
Snide Unitarian ivy.
Aid in varsity ennui.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Bourbon Street =
Rub, tote boners.
So butter boner.
Bert outs boner.
Tout boners, Reb!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Christian =
Rich saint.
Irish cant.
I chant, sir.

Dan Fortier with:
Year Two Thousand =
Way to run to Hades.
How day set ran out.
Your date not wash.

Tim Jones with:
They eat humanists =
Thus, any is the meat.
Uh, the meat is nasty.
Tasty mash in the EU.
Name that sushi yet?
Hints: may eat the US.

Steve Krakowski with:
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine =
Parked "tin can". See E.T. reps.
Entreat; press kind peace.

Meyran Kraus with:
Witness to a flying saucer =
Gray aliens confuse twits.
Tasty gin? "Alien-crews! UFO's!"
Scantily saw UFO: "It's green!"
Saw tiny, cute aliens? "Frogs!"
"Wise, gutsy aliens on craft!"

Meyran Kraus with:
The Renaissance =
Sense in each art.
Hence, art is sane!
Art-scene? A shine.
Arts? Seen in each.
Seen art as niche?
Ah, sense nice art.
See? Art can shine!
Ah, art in essence.

Meyran Kraus with:
"Webster" Dictionary =
Scribe a word entity.
Nice word-base. Try it!
"It is recent!" (by a word...)
Basic word eternity.
I act by word entries.
Trace words in it. Bye!

Meyran Kraus with:
A Gourmet Dinner =
To read menu, grin.
Eat? No demurring!
Ordering at menu.

Meyran Kraus with:
Message in a bottle =
Sent mail? Beg to sea.
Begot sea-mail, sent.
Sets a note? Mail, beg.
Get sea-mail note? BS!
Gee, sent mail's boat?
Get beaten? Mail: "SOS".
A note begs? Met sail!
Sail? Best note-game.
Let a beg: Emit an SOS.
Beg to set sail, amen.

Paul Lusch with:
Forty-eight years old =
The diary: "Lots of grey..."
To dye grey, or flash it?
Root's half grey - dye it!
Horridly testy of age.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Brenda Ferguson =
Bang fur. Endorse!
Free grand bonus.
Burn fag. Endorse!
Endorse fun. Brag!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Mystery Valentine card =
Manly and secretive try.
Manly envy: discreet art.
Mates' rivalry tendency.
Clever, randy? I test many.

Tom Myers with:
Stardust Comet Mission =
Our most mad scientists.
Utmost smart decisions.
Mad Scientist? Tom's ours.

Tom Myers with:
Justice to probe Starr =
Jabs trite prosecutor.
Corrupt job treatises.
Cost reprobate jurist.
Persecutor's job trait.

Tom Myers with:
Rod Parsley =
Repays Lord.
Old prayers.
Prayer sold.

Tom Myers with:
Guns don't kill people =
Lone slug toppled kin.
Slug killed opponent.
Link slug, plot opened.

Tom Myers with:
Presidential Elections =
Lies resented in Capitol.
Liars lie! Net: deceptions.
Liar sent lies, deception.

Tom Myers with:
Stop or you'll go blind! =
Drop soloing toy? Bull!
Soloing? Blot proudly!
Soloing? Lob lot, dry-up.
Or boldly put, soloing.
Your bolts dolloping.
Pull groin? Body's tool!
Tools pouring boldly.

Mick Tully with:
Noddy and Big Ears =
Gay? Sordid. Banned.
I banged randy sod.

Mick Tully with:
Child Support Agency =
Scold rich gent: "Pay up!"
Cash? Don't cripple guy!

Mick Tully with:
Git in the mall's annoying.
Golly! Sting, inane hit man?
I'm the all-annoying sting.
Nailing nightly mates, no?

Mick Tully with:
Primary School League Tables =
Ails? Blame poor ugly teachers.
Oh! Glory be! I am a clueless prat.
Catalogue rosily - harm plebes.
A pill-abuser, teacher's gloomy.
A gloomy teacher's ill? Bears up.
Abuse MP'S allegorical theory.

Mick Tully with:
Split Decisions and Other Word Puzzles =
Pissed? Tunstall-Pedoe swizz! Horrid con!
Dizziest PC loops? A swindle! Return dosh!
Will, precious sod, shot nerd, dents pizza.
Trade Descriptions swizz? O hell, do puns!


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Libyan desert =
Let's be in dry heat!

The Sahara desert =
Ass rather heated...

The Nubian desert =
Burned in the east.

The Gobi desert =
Be hot? Gets dire!

The Great Australian desert =
Gets real arid. Sun? Heat-treat!


2nd - Earle Jones with:
Damn the Torpedoes! =

Metaphors denoted,
Hastened, promoted,

Top anthems eroded,
Phrase not demoted,

The mad prose noted,
Poem ends, throated.


Meyran Kraus with: [A poem in which each line is an anagram of the third line]
The area is empty and light is low;
Star might aid when I lay to sleep.
I rest my head against the pillow;
Let way to sail the dreaming ship!


\r\rThe Anagrammy Awards\r