JULY 1999 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - John Morahan with:
Stone age =
Stage one.

2nd - Mick Tully with:
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? =
The dimwits lazily keep heads warm, OK?

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Angioplasty =
It's agony, pal.

Jessica Arts with:
Serendipity =
Inspired yet.

Jessica Arts with:
Batteries not included =
Delete bad instruction.

Richard Brodie with:
Do crematoria give discounts to burn victims? =
Arrive singed? Trim us cost? I void tomb account!

Jon Gearhart with:
Separate =
See 'apart'.

Jon Gearhart with:
Premenstrual syndrome =
Pray men, don't mess ruler!

Mahesh Jagadeesan with:
Satan is evil =
Saints alive!!!

Melody Jonak with:
Wisdom tooth pulled =
Withstood pull mode.

Meyran Kraus with:
A debit due? =
Be audited!

ID Letterman with:
Dead battery =
Drat! Bye, date.

Marc Macauley with:
Long time no see =
Getin' lonesome.

Tom Myers with:
Patient's rights =
Step straight in.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in "Eyes Wide Shut" =
Audiences saw her nudity. Men liked moist icon.

2nd - Jeff Simpson with:
"Animal Farm" by George Orwell =
Minor war fable? Allegory gem!

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
America's Funniest Home Videos =
'Amateur Comedies On VHS' is fine!

Jessica Arts with:
Tom Cruise's genitals hidden =
"A! It's demonic!" girls enthused.

Jessica Arts with:
Tom Cruise's genitals hidden =
Insulted hedonists grimace.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Soap operas =
Appear so-so.

Jon Gearhart with:
Saving Private Ryan =
Rivetin' Navy P.R. saga.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Joseph And His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat =
Dad, J., 'e's not home coz at Pharaoh Inc.......Miracle! Sing!


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - ID Letterman with:
A tragedy strikes the Kennedy house again =
It's a dark sky. The eager young end in the sea.

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Prime Minister, Ehud Barak =
Hi, President Mubarak! I'm there!

eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
Belgium National Day =
I am bigoted, annually.

Larry Brash with:
Anagrammy winners =
An' Meyran 'grams win.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Church of the Creator =
Catch fuehrer cohort.

Dan Fortier with:
Japanese Ocean Day =
Enjoy sea and a cape.

Dan Fortier with:
EPA due to fine Toyota Corporation =
Dirty auto foe: an option -- co-operate.

Jon Gearhart with:
Serb Opposition Ups Stakes In Anti-Milosevic Fight =
Basic gist, pops: Envision him out -- plots a fine strike.

Mike Hatton with:
Carnoustie =
A curse on it.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Prime Minister, Ehud Barak =
Met heir: "Hi, President Mubarak!"

ID Letterman with:
The Yosemite murders =
Memories... they're dust.

Tom Myers with:
Kasich Endorses Bush =
Suck-ass behind hoser!

Tom Myers with:
One China Policy =
Pain only choice.

Tom Myers with:
Missing aircraft =
I scan far, it's grim!

Tom Myers with:
China Settlement =
Cash entitlement.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Buster Hymen =
Enter my bush!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Arseholes =
He's a loser.

eq.3rd - Daniel F. Etter with:
Blow Jobs =
Bob jowls.

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Judicial Judgment =
Judge: "Jail dim cunt!"

Jon Gearhart with:
Pleasures of the flesh =
Hell, he eats 'er puss off!

Meyran Kraus with:
My boss is a jerk =
'Kiss my arse' job?


THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Check this out! Too much fun!! Magic tricks, jokes, photos, recipes, WAV's, and fun. A lot of fun. See me tie a necktie, one-handed, in one second, blindfolded. Then, I tear up a newspaper and restore it. I'll teach you magic. 1000 photos for wallpaper. Free slideshow programs. A LOT of recipes. A ton of really cool helpful links of all types.
=
We use spam to amuse us. I'll confess, I have loads of fun getting cocky spam accounts killed off. Please remit an appropriate fee ($1000) ASAP to: Jon Gearhart's recent address -- no phone calls. You'll be shipped out a hot, poop-like concoction within like a week as reminder. Hurry! Don't elect to hold off or flinch -- the offer will end.

2nd - Jessica Arts with:
T E S T I M O N I A L S =
So lame, isn't it?

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Super Powerful & Fast Online Searching Tool! =
Shun us! We'll rearrange off-topic post; no lie!

Jessica Arts with:
the income return is TREMENDOUS!!! =
Emetic moron intruder enthuses.

Jessica Arts with:
YOUR SUCCESS GUIDELINES =
Ugly uses sure coincides.

Larry Brash with:
Free & Unlimited Web space =
Spam: We benefit? Crude lie!

Jon Gearhart with:
You are guaranteed to qualify for two UNSECURED credit cards just by meeting our basic requirements! =
Quiet! Easy, recruiter. Don't want cards, you insecure cob-queer. Just get me off your mailing, rude bastard.

Mick Tully with:
New Web Site =
News: we bite.


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with:
Question: Why did the blonde think she was so smart when it took her six months to assemble a jigsaw puzzle with only seven pieces? Answer: Because on the box it said "Two to four years"! =
Want to hear feminine joke? No? Well too bad! So, I saw very sexy, ditzy broad wax eloquent about prowess, but she's not the Whiz Girl she thinks she is. No Ms. Wise, she's a most pathetic dunce.

eq.2nd - Dan Fortier with:
North Ireland Government proposal is decried by the Unionists =
Ulster party ponders decision, vote "No sir"; bother him in England.

eq.2nd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Gene Kelly, Nina Foch and Oscar Levant in "An American in Paris" =
"Singin' in the Rain" leadin' man love Caron. France: a Yank's place!

Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 8:23]
I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was. =
View now the sun's bright origin, ere the vast planets emerge from afar.

Jon Gearhart with:
"Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm." --Abraham Lincoln =
"Choose a cause, then betray it not. Put full faith behind plan." --Gerry N. Merrium

Jon Gearhart with:
"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country." --Nathan Hale =
Never free enough to betray OUR limits, he can not halt loyalty on faith.


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Melody Jonak with:
David Lee Roth =
A red hot devil.

eq.2nd - Wayne Baisley with:
Leni Riefenstahl =
The Infernal Lies.

eq.2nd - Larry Brash with:
John Michael Keis =
Inhale jism? Choke!

eq.2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Samuel Taylor Coleridge =
Lo, I am "Old Tar Curse" elegy.

Anon with:
Basil Hume =
Humble as I.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Matthew Hale =
Let hate wham!

Dan Fortier with:
Bruce Willis and Demi Moore =
We did become ill in our arms.

Jon Gearhart with:
Terry Towedin-Roth =
Dirty rotten whore!

Mattias Inghe with:
Charles Darwin =
And heir crawls.

Pedro Saavedra with:
Thomas Aquinas =
Sin quota a sham.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Tom Myers with:
Yosemite =
O my! See it!

eq.2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
The Eiffel Tower =
O feet! Where lift?!

eq.2nd - Sean B with:
Drug Enforcement Administration =
Freedom contaminating intruders.

Jessica Arts with:
Federal Bureau of Investigation =
A vengeful, if tedious, aberration.

WF with:
Clinton Avenue =
A non-clit venue.

Jon Gearhart with:
Tampa Bay, Florida =
A bad map for Italy.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Monsanto genetically modified seeds =
Famine seen as longtime cost - odd yield...

Kevin Hale with:
Fisherman's Friend =
Hardier men sniffs.


THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 17:15]
He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the LORD. =
Doth not the Jew tend to hate the Arab, and the Limey oft evoke Irish hate? Hatch not then the dumb injustice.
The Serb itcheth to hurt the Bosnian, and the holy jihad venom attacketh the Jew. Oh! Time-out! Find a detente!
It is the race of the black man that they jeered.Oh! the hate! Thumbs down! Then join united to hand it the veto.

2nd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in "Eyes Wide Shut" =
Moralist whined; nude maid in key scene is cut. O! :(
His cock: unseen. Nudity's eliminated. Media row.
Male nudity diminished (wear suit). No cock seen.
Moralist audiences whined. One key mind is cut.
Hi. Wee, timid minority nuked scandalous scene.

eq.3rd - Jessica Arts with:
Weight loss =
Weighs lots.
Legs show it.
Let's go wish!
We sigh lots.
Lo! Gets wish!

eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Prime Minister, Ehud Barak =
Hi, President Mubarak! I'm there!
Met heir: "Hi, President Mubarak!"

eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
Clinton gets fined =
Tit fondling scene.
Fling is not decent.
Gent lends fiction.

Jessica Arts with:
Tom Cruise's genitals hidden =
"A! It's demonic!" girls enthused.
Insulted hedonists grimace.
Line editing shades scrotum.
So deriding human testicles.
Editing harmless seduction.

Larry Brash with:
Kath Wrenhub-Withers =
Shrunk what with beer?
Wrath with beers. Hunk.
Thanks brewer. Wit, huh?
Uh! Brewers think what?
He knew art with brush.
Wanker with the brush.

Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 8:1]
Doth not wisdom cry? and understanding put forth her voice? =
Sir, don't shun divine mercy. Adopt the truth and crown of God.
Dennis, pray do not circumvent the truth of God and His word.
Richard, put not My divine truths to scorn. Ah, defend God now.
Ah, Danny, do not circumvent the inspired truth of God's word.
Nancy, Consider Him and put forth vow: deride not God's truth.
Peter, hunt down God's truth and find victory. Oh man! I scored.
Oh Tony, turn mind, discover God's worth; find truth and peace.
Candy, discover the adornment within God's profound truth.
Norm, find thou God's dear divine and worthy truth concepts.
Todd, scan and ponder much over God's worthy infinite truth.
Randy, discover God's profound truth. Ditch it not. New man, eh?
Dawn, don't scorn divine mercy. Rush in! Adopt the truth of God.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Riot at Woodstock =
It took worst coda.
Took worst acid, to.
Tattoo crowd is OK!
Do toast trick! Woo!
I'd start to cook! Ow!
I took crowd toast.
Took coward to sit.
Took a crowd to sit.

Jon Gearhart with:
Good intentions =
Onset, into doing.
To set in on doing.
No go; it isn't done.

Jon Gearhart with:
Exasperation =
Extra 'e' pain so.
Pose an extra 'i'.
'P' is a extra one.
Extra 'o'? A penis!

Mick Tully with:
Low sperm count =
Slow on crumpet.
To screw - no lump.
We romp, consult.
PT? O, muscle worn.
Uncool Mrs wept.

Mick Tully with:
ADULTS ONLY =
Lusty lad on!
Slut? No lady.
Lady lust, no?
Any old slut.
Untold lays.
Sad Tully on?


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
A set of six anagrams of Shakespeare's sonnet #60, attempting to match the style and substance of six novels from the 19th and 20th centuries.

 

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Bill of Rights

 

3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Imagine

 

Jon Gearhart with:
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
=
Shine, shine twinky lite
Down to world; Out twilite.
All wave, bow; Hark! A glare, a mark.
They wake her up, lo the dark.
Shine, shine twinky lite
Down to world; Out, twilite.

 

Henry Stokes with:
What if there was movie in which every character's name was an anagram that revealed something about them? For example, a character in a movie named, Adam "Chico" Milano, would give a clue to who was doing the murders in the movie. 'Adam Chico Milano' is an anagram for 'homocidal maniac'.
Some other possibilities:

Cecil Fermio = comic relief
Mister Owen = wise mentor
Marie Redcrest = secret admirer
Rose Velentti = love interest
Vela Sinsil (or Lisa Snivel) = villainess
Ace Iron-Hot = action hero
Barbie Arrow = warrior babe

The movie itself could be called 'Orange Mama IV' or 'I, Verona Magma', or 'I am a Mangrove'... all anagrams for 'anagram movie'.

 

Mike Keith with:
Pride and Prejudice

 


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