Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999


1st - Tom Myers with:
Jury selection =
Rely on justice.

2nd - Art Day with:
Athletic supporter =
The testicular prop.

eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:
Procrastination =
No-action trap, sir.

eq.3rd - Daniel F. Etter with:
Creationism =
So I'm a cretin...

eq.3rd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Improving immunization rates in children =
Prudent to minimizing viral ache in minors.

eq.3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Cartoon =
No actor.

Larry Brash with:
Mobile Telephones =
Seen the bill? O, mope!

Richard Brodie with:
He is our official Anagrammy checker =
Irish Morahan feel if gem accuracy OK.

Richard Brodie with:
Have something to drink =
Hangover (the moist kind).

Dan Fortier with:
Explode heart =
Explore death.

Jon Gearhart with:
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. =
F-fright is one foe that we never halt easily.

Jon Gearhart with:
Impersonators =
Impostors near.

Jon Gearhart with:
Crimes of passion =
"O, miss..." face prison.

Jon Gearhart with:
Setup Guide =
Use it, pudge!

The Greatest Lurker with:
Isolation =
A solo in it.

Meyran Kraus with:
Sound Amplifiers =
Loud? I impress fan!

Tom Myers with:
Visa revocation =
Vacation is over.

Tom Myers with:
Drop dead gorgeous =
Dear God! Super good!

Tom Myers with:
Hall of Fame inductee =
Hello. I am unaffected.

Tom Myers with:
A question of sanity =
A quantity of noises.

Tom Myers with:
Death by electrocution =
Circulate to the beyond.

Tom Myers with:
Discotheque =
Quest: Coed. Hi!

Niggle with:
Ice cream cornet =
A concrete crime.

Mick Tully with:
Promotion =
Room in top?

Mick Tully with:
Home based Business =
Amuses boss in bed eh?

Mick Tully with:
Roast beef =
Eat for BSE.

Mick Tully with:
Roast Lamb and Mint Sauce =
A macabre island's mutton.


1st - Larry Brash with:
The Three Stooges: Larry, Curly and Moe =
Actors? Lord, they're an ugly threesome!

eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" =
A sardonic smile on an ol' diva.

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Sigmund Freud's "The Interpretation of Dreams" =
"Nightmares or omens? Frustrated? Fed up? I end it!"

Dan Fortier with:
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? =
Our hero, or roommate? - More woe for thee!

Jon Gearhart with:
Death of a Salesman =
Ah, no fast sale made.

Mike Keith with:
Shatner and Kidd =
Think, "Darned sad..."

Janet Muggeridge with:
Join the crew of the Starship Voyager in the Delta Quadrant on their way home. =
Janeway phasers alien in fight that required E.M.H. Doctor. They vow, "On to Earth!"

Janet Muggeridge with:
Supermarionation =
Rope Animation R Us.

Tom Myers with:
Mystery Men =
Try my semen.

Graham Perkins with:
"The Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin =
Hydrosphere bionics was creating life.

Graham Perkins with:
"All Quiet on the Western Front", by Erich Maria Remarque =
Quite rare enquiry into far trench war. Hell be at Somme.

Genna Reeny with:
In The Still Of The Night =
The Hot Filth Listening.


1st - Tom Myers with:
Hurricane Warnings Posted =
A report: Wind, churning seas.

2nd - Daniel F. Etter with:
Creation Science =
Increase conceit.

3rd - Mike Hatton with:
Desmond Lynam leaves BBC =
Calm blandness moved. Bye!

Daniel Austin with:
Grandmother, aged twenty-six =
My! What rotten, degrading sex!

Jon Gearhart with:
Yeltsin sacks top official, spurs new Russian crisis =
Putin's now in office. Asks -- "Surprises?" Sarcastic, silly!

Mike Keith with:
Turkey appeals for help =
Pullet freaks hope, pray.

ID Letterman with:
House reduces foreign aid =
Oh! See U.S. aid reconfigured.

ID Letterman with:
The Rwanda children massacre =
End race war. Harms ethnic lads.

Tom Myers with:
China Missile Tests =
Is Stalinist scheme.

Tom Myers with:
Right to bear arms =
Rather grim boast.

Tom Myers with:
Break-up Microsoft =
Beat-up crook's firm.

Tom Myers with:
Alexander quit =
Quiet and relax.

Tom Myers with:
Norwegian Dream =
O dear me! WARNING!

Graham Perkins with:
Partial eclipse of the sun at Milton Keynes =
Line up starts... finally, the moon takes piece.

Mick Tully with:
Germany refuses British beef =
Mega snub - BSE heifers terrify!

Mick Tully with:
No charges after Paris accident =
The Princess Diana "Grace" factor?

Mick Tully with:
The World Athletics Championships in Seville =
Steroid pill wins event - Is a chemical plot? Shhh!

Mick Tully with:
Hurricane Brett =
Terrain butcher.


1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Erection? Thrust it on in. =
O, insert it into her cunt!

2nd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Anal fissure =
A sinful arse.

eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:

eq.3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Vertical genitals =
Vaginal slit? Erect!

eq.3rd - William R. Cousert with:
Mickey Mouse =
O Mike! Yes! Cum!

eq.3rd - Daniel F. Etter with:
State Fair =
A fart site.

eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
Striptease =
Peer: tit, ass!

Richard Brodie with:
Rosie Palm and her five sisters =
Half a penis, Mr.? O sir, it's severed!

Dan Fortier with:
Assumption =
So it's up, man.

Jon Gearhart with:
Nocturnal emissions =
Slam on in Rosie's cunt!

Jon Gearhart with:
Hi there, stupid. =
True dipshit, eh?

Jon Gearhart with:
You may fuck ape, Mr. Poofter.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Spermatozoid =
Motorized sap.

Ralph Lenton with:
Liquorish stick =
RL is quick... O, shit!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Lop-sided breasts =
Led dress-top bias.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Come see my etchings, darling =
Tom Myers engaged in cliches.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Come see my etchings =
My! Seen choicest gem!

Tom Myers with:
Come see my etchings =
Cosy meeting scheme.

Tom Myers with:
Marital solution =
Oral stimulation.

Tom Myers with:
Suffer From Asthma? =
Fumes of farts harm!

Tom Myers with:
Secret love potion =
I've porno to select.

Mick Tully with:
Fecundate =
Feed a cunt.

Mick Tully with:
Dysfunctional =
"Undo fly" antics.

Mick Tully with:
Rosie Palm and her five sisters =
Server's fist: I am a penis holder.

Mick Tully with:
Jon, I list "sodomy" unclean. =
On jollies? Dismay! No cunt!

Mick Tully with:
Home based Business =
Amuses boss in bed eh?


1st - Jon Gearhart with:
P.S. To be promptly removed from any future emails from us please just "reply" to this message and type the single word "remove" in either the subject field or in the message text itself. It's that easy. And in most cases you will be removed from future email lists within 24 hours!
This E-mail was sent by an independent marketing company and we appologize for any inconvenience.
Under Bill S.1618 Title III passed by the 105th U.S. Congress this E-mail can not be considered "spam" as long as we offer you a no-cost way to remove your name and E-mail address from our mailing list.
I wouldn't respond in if I were you, ninny; it's a pimpish way dirty rotten 'closet' spammers in general test if they've reached correct addresses on active e-mail accounts. Surprise!! You're name is probably sold (fast) to umpteen master mailing lists. Some hide behind the laws by giving you options to tell them to delete your name. While it seems extremely logical and safe, some superlosers (big net zeroes) make advantages of loopholes and bombard countless men and women with juvenile, spam-type stuff. They suffer. No fair! It's a sin!! I'm fumin' mad!!! -- Jon Gearhart

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Go to the web site, and you can earn some commission. =
Stooge, I end with no money, because its a moron scam.

3rd - Mick Tully with:
Lose thirty pounds in thirty days... guaranteed!!! =
Try polyunsaturated insanity - thighs eroded.

Larry Brash with:
Money Making Opportunities =
You're into inept spamming. OK?

Larry Brash with:
Lose thirty pounds in thirty days... guaranteed!!! =
Eat shit, spurt and die shortly, you diet-granny.

Dan Fortier with:
Focusing the matrix =
Ugh! Cram it if not sex.


1st - Meyran Kraus with: [The lines uttered by Samuel L. Jackson in 'Pulp Fiction' whenever he had to kill a guy]
Ezekiel Twenty-five, Seventeen:
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
From Tarantino's funny, violent (yet new-style) 'Pulp Fiction'. The intense, groundbreaking hit features over-dose, rape and seinfeldish dialogs, and presents a few well-known men as Travolta, Keitel, Roth, Walken and Stoltz. This biblical quote is spoken by the Bad Mother-fucker himself, Samuel L. He says it every time he has to off new men: "Here's the scene: When I guide the needy, the poor, the shy, you, lewd son of seventy whores, try to get in their way. The devil worshiper, indeed! Ohhhhhhh, I AM god... and you're heading down to hell."


2nd - Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 10:5]
He that gathereth in summer is a wise son:
but he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame.
So, the mom hath twins:
she hath a true enthusiastic helper-assistant;
she hath a restive teenage bum!


3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
How doth the little crocodile


Larry Brash with:


Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 10:6]
Blessings are upon the head of the just:
but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.
O! the chosen faithful; O! the meek; but O! just
not ever the evil doubting chap: he's screwed!


Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 10:13]
In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found:
but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.
Oh no! the stupid student's suffering from half a brain devoid
of thought; bat in hand, I'd whack smarts into his idiot mind!


Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 17:27]
He that hath knowledge spareth his words:
and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.
Talk is damn cheap! Ah! for wit, don't express in a
hundred long lines, a thing that needs a short few.


Janet Muggeridge with:
Here comes the international day of the palindrome. =
Feel admiration at noon 'n' hold cheery theme parties!



1st - Don P. Fortier with:
George Bush =
He bugs Gore.

2nd - Mick Tully with:
David Robert Joseph Beckham =
BBC TV joked: He married a Posh!

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Geena Davis =
Seed vagina!

Larry Brash with:
President Hazel Hawke =
Prize wank? She leadeth.

Larry Brash with:
Maurice Greene =
Run, I emerge ace.

Dan Fortier with:
Nerine Kidd =
I need drink.

Jon Gearhart with:
General Douglas MacArthur =
Such a great old regular man.

Jon Gearhart with:
Rodney William Ansell =
Really wild man on isle.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse =
Dancers had rarified ecstasy.

Earle Jones with:
Tammy Faye Bakker =
Fat member -- Yak Yak!

Meyran Kraus with:
Dorothy Parker =
Or: Hark! Dry poet!

Tom Myers with:
Alison Krauss =
Oral anus kiss.


1st - Tom Myers with:
United Parcel Service =
Accept, insure, deliver.

2nd - Dan Fortier with:
Miller Genuine Draft =
Mild flat green urine.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Western Wall in Jerusalem, Israel =
Shrine? All Jews treasure it well. Amen.

Larry Brash with:
Sega's Dreamcast =
Gates massacred.

Larry Brash with:
Microsoft Outlook Express =
Exploits, fucks, roots. O, more?

Dan Fortier with:
The Titanic =
Attn. - hit ice.

Alec Gallagher with:
Norwegian Dream =
Warning!.................... O dear me.

Alec Gallagher with:
The Salvation Army =
I am thy lover, Satan.

Jon Gearhart with:
Las Vegas, Nevada =
Sad saga? Leave NV.

Janet Muggeridge with:
World Dryer Corporation =
Dry-air power control rod.

Tom Myers with:
The eBay web site =
Bet we bite. Ah, yes!

Tom Myers with:
Yellowstone's Old Faithful =
Hot fluids fly. Towel on sale.

Tom Myers with:
Corpus Christi =
Shit occurs! R.I.P.

Mick Tully with:
The Simon Wiesenthal Centre =
Sneer: 'O, Settle with Eichmann!'

Mick Tully with:
Rose Law Firm =
Slow firearm.

Mick Tully with:
United States of America =
Dine out, taste a Mac & fries.


1st - Mick Tully with:
Election promises =
Come-ons - lies - tripe.
Promotes nice lies.
Politicos? Me sneer.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Lasting relationships =
A giant penis, so thrills!
This penis is tall organ.
Align penis, harlot sits!
Roll against this penis.
His girl on penis at last.
All-nighter, it's passion!
Girl saints loath penis.
All-night penis/ass riot.
Penis nails that girl so!

eq.3rd - Wayne Baisley with:
The breaking of wind =
Be of wing in the dark...
Kithing before dawn.
Bedwarfing the "oink".
We honkin'-big farted!
Big hand for keen wit!
Baking, if "down there".
Bedarkening? How fit!
Benighted, I work fan.
Few KO'd breathing in.
Wink beforehand, git?
Handiwork been gift.
With deafening "Bork!"
I, new "Bard" of the King.

eq.3rd - Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Focusing the matrix into the light for good =
Exciting flirt, he oft got rough and moist ho'.
Go git a firm hot fox in tight clothes (or nude).
Oo! Fix tight-fitting rough leather condoms!
I forgot the condom sheath; tug on, girl! Fix it!

Jessica Arts with:
Whore house =
He owes hour.
Huh! Woe... sore!
Ow! Uh... he sore.
Ho ho! We sure!
Oh! Re-use who?
Sure, who? Eh? O!
Ow! Oh, use her.

Jessica Arts with:
Emasculation =
Unsocial mate.
So calumniate.
Caution males.

Jessica Arts with:
Silicone Breast Implants =
Problematic saintliness.
Brilliant! It encompasses...
Brilliant specimen to ass.
Abnormal piss in testicle.
Insert incompatible, lass.
Manliest topic. Brainless!
Topless labs incriminate.
Claims it isn't personable.
Caption: Let's, I'm brainless!
Manliest precision. Blast!
Crap! Let's! Lesbianism on it.
Snip... is abnormal testicle.
Compel in lesbian's artist.
Complain, sensible artist.
Tits complain bleariness.
Liars! It isn't compensable!
Brilliance sites tampons.

Larry Brash with:
The breaking of wind =
I know he'd be farting.
How kid been farting?
He done big fart. <Wink>
Fart! Hi, bonding week.
Fart in bed? OK, whinge!

Larry Brash with:
The Pharmaceutical Industry =
Try actual medicines. Trap, huh?
I cry: "Adulterants!" Emphatic, uh?
Crucial treatments, huh? I'd pay.
P.S. Hi-tech laudanum. Care try it?

Richard Brodie with:
Gun control means: using both hands! =
Bash cannons! Thus mingle to ground.
Ban darn non-muscle shooting thugs.
Mangling urban shots sound. The con!
Tech husband on guns lost on margin.
O! Handgun sin? Rotten slob! Hang scum!

Jon Gearhart with:
Plastic surgeon =
Tag -- snip -- closure.
O, slit g-cup 'n' arse.
Ape cuts on girls.
Scars lip, tongue.

Jon Gearhart with:
Rodney William Ansell =
Really wild man on isle.
Ol' wily island reel man.
Lawman -- "I end silly lore."
i.e., silly nerd own llama.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Improving immunization rates in children =
Important: minimizing our lives' hindrance.
Prudent to minimizing viral ache in minors.

Meyran Kraus with:
Sex-Change Operation =
Ax erection: "Ah!!! Sponge!"
Ax a penis, cheer: "Got no!"
No ego? Expire a snatch!

Tom Myers with:
Loss of continence =
Conflict soon seen.
Conflict one's nose.
No see, no conflicts.
Since colon soften.
So!? No conflict seen.
Soon flies connect.

Tom Myers with:
Your place or mine? =
You romp real nice!
You real nice! Romp?
Nice ol' Mr. rape you.
Oi! Purely romance.
Pure oily romance!
Oo! Male pruriency.
RE: Romp, you in lace!
Up early! Nice room.
Urinary pole come.
Ripe Romeo lunacy.
Employer? Run, Ciao!
You recline, a romp!

Tom Myers with:
Pyrotechnic Grenades =
Cops ending treachery!
Nth degree conspiracy.

Navigator with:
Raiders of the Lost Ark =
Ford takes hero's trail.
Ford starts like a hero.
Or hero's fast like dart.

Mick Tully with:
Just for adults =
Adjust for lust.
Judo slut farts.
Just slot fraud.
Just lust for DA?
Adjust fur slot.

Mick Tully with:
Total eclipse of the Sun =
'Holst Planet Suite' of CE?
Cue: loftiest plane shot.
Touches loftiest plane.
I flaunt hot telescopes.
Fault on this telescope?
Infest hotels, copulate.
Telescope stunt, if halo.
Flaunt, hoist telescope.
That foul telescope's in.
Is hot! Flaunt telescope.

Mick Tully with:
The Simon Wiesenthal Centre =
Newsreel: 'Set to hit Eichmann?'
Sneer: 'O, Settle with Eichmann!'
The nice Semite now enthrals.


1st - Mike Keith with:
[The first sentence (in all of its purple-prose glory) of Edward Bulwer-Lytton's novel "Paul Clifford", the first seven words of which were later appropriated as a running gag by Charles Schulz.]

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Tut-tut! Bulwer-Lytton's known penchant for inelegant, stagnant, over-affected, cost-inflated prose evokes mirth a hundred years hence. Ah-ha! A well-known comic strip talent hatches it - a textual gag for a dog: (Snoopy wags his tail, sits at his typewriter, fidgets, and then distills a classic theme: "It's raining, there's no light...")


eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe


eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Fire and Ice by Robert Lee Frost


Richard Brodie with:
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, the text adapted by Pete Seeger to create the song "There is a Season".


Jon Gearhart with:
The White Knight's Song by Lewis Carroll


Mike Keith with:
Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird


Meyran Kraus with:
A poem from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland


\r\rThe Anagrammy Awards\r