Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999


1st - Niggle with:
Desert Island =
Lies stranded.

2nd - Navigator with:
Repulsive =

3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Tam-o'-shanter =
One smart hat.

Daniel Austin with:
Please hold the line =
Telephone aids Hell.

Daniel Austin with:
Rome wasn't built in a day... ~
but laid in two years, man!

Larry Brash with:
Honesty is the best policy =
It's phony by those lies, etc.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Revolution =
Love to ruin.

The Carr Family with:
Medicinal Pot =
Dope it in calm.

Don P. Fortier with:
Alligator Stew =
Two Large Tails.

Jon Gearhart with:
A Master's Degree =
Smart, see? Agreed.

Jon Gearhart with:
Venison =
In ovens.

Jon Gearhart with:
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." =
It furry, yet he'd lie -- he see one hot babe.

Meyran Kraus with:
Going steady =
Yes, go dating!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Nocturnal pillow-fight =
Two fan coupling thrill.

Tom Myers with:
Open heart surgery =
Or huge prayer sent.

Tom Myers with:
I saw the ghost =
Hogwash, it's E.T.!

Tom Myers with:
Rotgut whiskey =
Why gutter is OK.

Tom Myers with:
Gatekeeper =
A peek, greet.

Tom Myers with:
Life as we know it =
Weak, slow, finite!

Tom Myers with:
Our purpose in being created =
Superior being, not crude ape!

Mick Tully with:
Eviscerated =
See it carved.

Mick Tully with:
Suspended sentence =
Descendent sees pun?

Mick Tully with:
Madam Guillotine =
Aiming loud metal.

Matthew Westcott with:
Rome wasn't built in a day... ~
but Italians may wonder.


1st - Tom Myers with:
Miss America Pageant =
I'm a greasepaint scam!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
"If Mama Cass had shared her fateful ham sandwich with Karen Carpenter? Perhaps they'd both still be alive today." =
A performer with bulimia nervosa killed by a hard fast and a fat artiste's death: chewed meat. Shhh... can psych help?

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Michael Jordan's first motion picture =
Director ruins hit toon-film, "Space Jam".

Don P. Fortier with:
Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven" =
Fist Violence! Guns Drawn Too!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
James Dean in "Giant" =
Managed it in jeans.

Niggle with:
Coronation Street =
So rotten creation.

Mick Tully with:
"Feast for a Fiver" =
Serve fat off-air.


1st - Larry Brash with:
Medicinal marijuana =
A cure? I'm in a damn jail.

eq.2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Labour Party Conference =
Only been a corrupt farce.

eq.2nd - Tom Myers with:
East Timor and the United Nations Command Soldiers =
Indonesia's aim: cold torment. Thousands terminated.

eq.2nd - Ben Zimmer with:
Serena upsets Martina =
A tennis supreme! A star!

Daniel Austin with:
First Turkey, then Greece, and now Taiwan... =
Untested wreaking of tyrannic weather.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Double Jeopardy =
Obey parole, Judd.

Don P. Fortier with:
Hurricane Floyd is coming =
Cyclone Forming? I rush aid.

Don P. Fortier with:
FBI mess: Reno Vows Action =
So invents more Waco fibs....

Don P. Fortier with:
Jurassic Park movie sequel =
Quick! Jump over! A sale rises!

Jon Gearhart with:
Hypodermic needles =
Olympics ended here.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Firearms storage practices and children in the home =
The rifle campaigners' theme is horror and accidents.

ID Letterman with:
Floyd threatens North and South Carolina. =
Flash rain at once and thunder too, shortly.

Tom Myers with:
Miami drug busts =
I'm dumb. It's sugar!

Tom Myers with:
Judith Campbell Exner, Reputed JFK Mistress, dies =
President jumps sex slut. The firm Jackie led, bred!

Tom Myers with:
The United States comes back to win the Ryder Cup =
Shock! Twisted match! Europe beaten, dust. Nice try!

Tom Myers with:
Hosni Mubarak =
Ran ambush. I OK.

Tom Myers with:
Hurricane Floyd is coming =
I am horrendous if cycling.

Tom Myers with:
Clinton must rest his voice =
So constructive, him silent!

Tom Myers with:
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Four New York police officers charged in the murder of unarmed African immigrant Amadou Diallo failed Wednesday in their efforts to have the trial dismissed or moved out of New York. =
Mayor Giuliani is faulted for more and more cop horrors. Tricky lad, he has fostered wild fear, rude attitudes. Kick him out of the mayor's office now and get very fine men in uniform. We deserve law and order!

'Trout' with:
Year two thousand =
Oy! Now a dust earth!

Mick Tully with:
East Timor =
Riots, mate.

Mick Tully with:
The Ryder Cup at Brookline =
Deportation, Huckleberry?

Ben Zimmer with:
Independence for East Timor =
Indonesia, protect freedmen!


1st - Noam D. Elkies with:
Deloitte & Touche =
Toilette & Douche.

2nd - Mick Tully with:
Stable relationship =
I ball patient horses.

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Girls who take it up the ass =
Greek sluts' hot hips await!

Larry Brash with:
A shit of the first order =
Horrid stiff to the arse.

Don P. Fortier with:
Missouri's laws today =
I saw tails... Sodomy 'R' Us.

Jon Gearhart with:
Viagra linked to heart attacks =
Think, total dicks are at a grave!

Jon Gearhart with:
Castrate =
Treat sac.

Jon Gearhart with:
Laxative =
Exit -- lava.

Meyran Kraus with:
Sexploitation =
Latex position.

Meyran Kraus with:
No Undies =
So, in nude?

Meyran Kraus with:
"Wad? O, swell!" =

Meyran Kraus with:
Huge Hard-On =
Hung? Oh, dear.

Tom Myers with:
Eating shit =

Tom Myers with:
Houston Comets =
Cum-shot to nose.

Tom Myers with:
Spank her on the bottom =
Then on to sperm bath, OK?

Tom Myers with:
Clinton Says He's Still Getting Spiritual Guidance =
Pig held young intern slut's tits, genitalia. Classic!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Bondage games =
Gag - O, bad semen!

Mick Tully with:
Penis infatuation =
Panties? I fountain!


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
No Working!!!!!
No Selling!
No Meetings!
No Dressing Up!
No Time Required!
No Telephone Calls!
No Running Around!
No Presentations!
No Face-To-Face Contact!
No Uncaring Internet Felons!!!!!
No "Quick-Cash, So Log On" Conning!
No "test ignore" Genre!
No Fraudulent Deception!
No Misrepresentation!
No Spam Allowed!

2nd - Daniel Austin with:
This email is not spam... =
It is! It's *lemon* spam! Ha!

3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Unfortunately some of the email addresses in our list are hi jacked and not posted by the owner. Please help us to clean up our in house email list to avoid molesting people in the future.
Molest, eh? Rape, pillage, or plunder are one mean style. Aha, he has thee unfortunate impression I am stupid. Note: I don't repond well to vacuous, unsolicited e-stuff, ok ye jis-soiled butthole?

Larry Brash with:
Illegality? Bust asshole!

Larry Brash with:
Eh, its a really key scam. You annoy me!

Larry Brash with:
To make it short and sweet, there are companies that will PAY YOU $$ just to surf the internet like you always do! They will also PAY YOU $$ when your friends are online! All these programs are 100% FREE to join!
Hey! Hey! Your posts are entirely rotten spam, dirty spam, fucking spam, and foul lies, arsehole! Your wee falsehoods will not take anyone to win elite wealth, rather just you to jail! What an eerie rort!

Larry Brash with:
Looking for Serious Writers =
Solution: forgeries work, sir.

Don P. Fortier with:
This e-mail is not spam... =
His aim: at simpletons.

Don P. Fortier with:
Never before seen Amateur Girls Take It All Off For You =
No Fee for a Fake Miss February, Go To URL Alt.Teener.Live.

Don P. Fortier with:
Spam Message Has An Anagram - Revelations Abound, Son!


1st - Tom Myers with:
New Jersey Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control =
So enjoy a cool beer while driving. Not clever? Fiasco!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair auburn? - Artificial intelligence... =
If I change her yellow curls to a red, I would double her ability? Ah, I can't, Anna!

3rd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Firearms storage practices and children in the home =
Charlton Heston ethics are misfired. Campaign erred.

Larry Brash with:
What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? - Divorced... =
Old cliché: O-oh!, now not wedded - go gleefully inactivate her brain.

Larry Brash with:
What do you call a clever blonde? - A golden retriever. =
Craved a yellow dog? Oh, Rover, an intellectual breed.

Richard Brodie with:
A letter teaching me how to make money "WHILE YOU SLEEP!" =
We like Mey's cool "O halt the Hype". We nominate a true gem!

Don P. Fortier with:
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise:
but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
He will follow that feeble plan? Wisdom by associations?
(Doth he that brushes me weaken?)

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
It is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury and all manner of things =
Murder, loot, angst and nudity in fashionable, if distant land. A foul folly.


1st - Ramon with:
Leonardo Di Caprio =
Periodic anal odor.

eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Fidel Castro =
It's cold fear.

eq.2nd - 'Trout' with:
George Junior, the President's son =
Just ignore pedigree -- he snorts, no?

Richard Brodie with:
George Pickett and Brian Young =
O Gee! I? Tacky? Boring pun? GRANTed!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Dr. Strangelove =
Dove strangler.

Don P. Fortier with:
Anne Widdecombe =
Do men bed? (a wince).

Alec Gallagher with:
Nicholas Scott =
Lost in a Scotch.

Meyran Kraus with:
To feel horny =
Helen of Troy.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Battle of Hastings =
Fight: bolt an asset.

Tom Myers with:
Senator Bill Bradley =
A liberal's bold entry.

Tom Myers with:
Allen Funt =
Fallen nut.

Mick Tully with:
Austin Healey Sprite =
It sprints. Yuleeehaa!!


1st - Dan Fortier with:
Honolulu, Hawaii =
I hula low in Oahu.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Lost and found department =
Do fondle attendant's rump!

3rd - Wayne Baisley with:
Gossard 'Superboost' bra =
Bags superbroad's torso.

Dan Fortier with:
Brea, California =
Bar anal orifice.

Don P. Fortier with:
United States Congressman =
Con Man Gets Neat Dress Suit.

Don P. Fortier with:
The William Marsh Rice Institute for the Advancement of Letters, Science, and Art =
Hard truth (trim cats in snit!):
"I never see fat cats at Rice,
All the Owl men feed on mice."

Navigator with:
Planet Earth =
Eternal path.

Mick Tully with:
Mercedes limousine =
Di's enemies' cruel M.O.


1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address =
Sacred martyrs bought land a blessing.
Oh, stand gently amid rags, scars, rubble.
Battles bred such grand moral sayings.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Arrested for assault in England =
Tearful legend Diana Ross rants.
Great land. Diana Ross resentful!
Ardent gal Diana Ross resentful!
Diana Ross flaunted large stern.

eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:
Drug Enforcement Administration =
Torture and Demonism interfacing.
O, significant rotten man murdered.
Farm addiction rogues: Internment!

eq.3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Gossard 'Superboost' bra =
Grabs O so proud breasts.
Boobs art - dress up or sag.
Stars or upgrades boobs.
God, breasts up - orbs soar.
Drags up breasts, oo orbs!
Boobs protrude as ass, gr!
Boobs - grasp sad trouser.
Breasts brag - O so rods up.
So group broad's breasts.
Broad's breasts - spur goo.

Wayne Baisley with:
Premature ejaculation =
Atemporal nature-juice.
Amateur epicurean jolt.
Jounce Maria, erupt late.
I tear up "latecomer" Juan.
Conjure up irate tamale.
Meat rapture. Juice loan.
Penetralia cum true? Jao!
Outrun erectile pajama.
Jean-Paul torture: I came.
Juice up man, orate later.
Re JATO uniter: mea culpa.

Richard Brodie with:
CA. jury selection =
Cruelty in O.J. case?
Ultra icy O.J. scene.
O.J. slayer? Nice cut!
Slay (I conjecture).
O.J. clues - a nice try.
One last cry, Juice!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Sidney Gottlieb =
I dig teensy blot.
Ye blind egotist!
Seeing body tilt.
LSD bite tiny ego.
Ignoble, testy id.
Tidy gentile SOB.
I let body ingest.
Yet, I design blot.
See dignity blot.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Balance of power =
Peace, born a wolf.
Blow for peace? Na!
Pace of Nobel war?
Brawl of no peace.
Fear bloc weapon.
Place Bone of War.
Or, wolf ban peace.
Cope on war fable.
For a blown peace.
Weapon lob farce.
Placebo won fear.
War! Cop be a felon.

Alec Gallagher with:
Sir Nicholas Scott, MP =
Spilt scotch is a norm.
MP'S crash - it isn't cool.
Sip Scotch - mortal sin.
Hit snorts, claim cops.

Jon Gearhart with:
National Football League =
Big annual fee? All a lot, too.
An all-out binge -- a lot of ale.

Meyran Kraus with:
President George Bush =
Be on drugs? Gee, he 'trips'!
On drugs? Gee, be hipster!
Guests: Bring dope here!
Big, deep urge? He snorts.

Meyran Kraus with:
Adults Only =
On, lusty lad!
Any old slut.
Lady? No, slut.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Sits in the garden =
Reinstating shed.
Death in stingers.
I ensnared tights.

Mick Tully with:
Large breasted women =
We'd bare great melons!
Globes earn wet-dream.
Dog element wears bra?

Mick Tully with:
Michael Portillo =
'Triple, lilac homo?'
'I'm her local pilot.'
'Political hole, Mr.'
'O hell, proclaim it!'
'I lech. I'm a trollop!'
'Place him - I'll root!'

Mick Tully with:
The Duchess of Kent =
Oh, fucks tenth seed!
Oh fuck, she's netted!
She's the noted fuck.
Needs the hot fucks.

Mick Tully with:
Adult Film Business Auditions =
Studios? I'm sinful and suitable!
Ambitious lad? Fun inside sluts!
I'm a sinful lesbian studio stud.
Mind sinful, bestial, USA studio.
Anus misfit - dildo's unsuitable.
Mind beautiful studs' liaisons.
Fluids and sublime situations.
Mind foul studs' anus abilities.

Mick Tully with:
Anne Widdecombe =
Bacon widened me...
Amend new bodice.
Widened beam, Con?

Mick Tully with:
Capital punishment =
Amps input - clean hit.
Panic, until the amps...
Hit penal, inapt scum.
Chaplain up, smitten.
Isn't an ethical pump?
MPs' Act - inhale input.
Penal hit - amps cut in.
Put in machine - splat!
An ethical MP's input.
Time's up - plainchant.
Pain thumps a client.

Mick Tully with:
The Ryder Cup at Brookline =
Putter or iron, baldy? Cheek!
Abrupt, dire hook recently?
Bloody crankier putt here?
Bold chip Yankee. Tut, error!
Retry unpredictable hook.
Hate poor drunk, celebrity?
A nick error - putted by hole.
Cranky, bold Europe hitter.
The cranky, old Europe Brit.
Only bred Europe hat-trick?
Pretty hole or acid bunker?
Deportation, Huckleberry?
Hold tricky European, Bert.


eq.1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Song by Edgar Allan Poe


eq.1st - Mike Keith with:
Shake's Pair


3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Psalm 150


Mick Tully with:
[A group of capital punishment themed anagrams.]

Capital punishment =
Amps input - clean hit.
Panic, until the amps... [Old Sparky]
Hit penal, inapt scum.
Chaplain up, smitten.
Isn't an ethical pump? [Lethal injection]
MPs' Act - inhale input. [Gas chamber]
Penal hit - amps cut in.
Put in machine - splat! [Madam Guillotine?]
An ethical MP's input.
Time's up - plainchant. [From the chaplain]
Pain thumps a client.

Suspended sentence =
Descendent sees pun? [I'm REALLY sorry about that awful one...]
See descent - end puns. [ditto]
Sun scene - pest ended. [Hangings are traditionally carried out at dawn]
Seen cunt's end speed?

Scaffold =
Scoff, lad?

Old Sparky =
Pork, sadly. [That is what it smells like, apparently]

Madam Guillotine =
Aiming loud metal.
Ladle out maiming.
Mama guillotined.
Maudlin gaol time.
Gaol, until maimed.


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