Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000
1st - Tom Myers with:
Lesbian perversity! =
Britney Spears live!
2nd - Mick Tully with:
'The Daily Record' =
Deadly rhetoric.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Forensic evidence =
Science over fiend.
Larry Brash with:
Hydroponic marijuana =
Do him a crop in January.
Whitney Cohen with:
Academic dishonesty =
Oh! A messy I.D. accident.
Whitney Cohen with:
Date rape =
Dater: Ape.
Jon Gearhart with:
He uses a mind-altering drug =
Then (a guess) grand delirium.
Richard Grantham with:
Gila monster =
It's a mongrel!
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Trace your family tree =
Ritual cemetery foray.
Jaybur with:
Calories =
O! eclairs!
Jaybur with:
From here to eternity =
Theory of retirement.
Jaybur with:
Life is bliss: taste it! =
Bite still satisfies.
Jaybur with:
Feeling lousy =
Yes; flu legion.
Jaybur with:
Ornithologist =
Loon is to right.
Meyran Kraus with:
I feel glum? =
I'm gleeful!
Meyran Kraus with:
Days of Prohibition =
Yahoo! I forbid pints!
Meyran Kraus with:
State of Mind =
Most defiant.
Meyran Kraus with:
Dancing heroes =
Chinese dragon.
Ormasyna with:
The Ivy League =
Have elite guy.
Martin Rand with:
Anagram Books and Websites =
Making browses on database.
Mick Tully with:
Stannic =
Tin cans.
1st - Brenden Preece with:
Pokemon Trading Cards =
Kids mad on great PR con.
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
The hit musical is Andrew Lloyd Webber's "CATS" =
I beheld a cast hiss, rub, claw, stridently meow.
3rd - Whitney Cohen with:
Weird Al Yankovic =
Liven wacky radio.
Larry Brash with:
Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Peter =
O, not my fried pets on scallop patty.
Jon Gearhart with:
A musical interlude =
Etude is all cranium.
Richard Grantham with:
Sesame Street =
Assert esteem.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Sir Walter Scott: The Lay of the Last Minstrel =
He wrote romances that still let artists fly.
Jaybur with:
All About Eve =
Love tableau.
Jaybur with:
Hardy's 'Life's Little Ironies' =
Literally fiendish stories.
Jaybur with:
"Frailty, thy name is woman" =
Maintains a flowery myth.
Jaybur with:
Gladiator: Ridley Scott =
I direct: do try all togas.
Jaybur with:
Come into the garden, Maud =
Magic date under the moon.
Meyran Kraus with:
Edmond Rostand's Cyrano De Bergerac =
Edgy, carrot-nosed bard ends romance.
Martin Rand with:
Ainsley Harriott =
Hysteria on trial.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The actor Douglas Fairbanks dies =
A big star had fucked a lot o' sirens.
2nd - Jaybur with:
The actor Sir John Gielgud dies at ninety-six =
O, exit stage: rich airs did suit gentle Johnny.
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Legionella from the Melbourne Aquarium =
Queue here for abnormal lung. O, I'm ill, mate.
David Bourke with:
Liam Gallagher and Patsy Kensit =
Pregnant slag? Ask The Daily Mail!
Don P. Fortier with:
"Big Game" lottery pot's now more than three hundred million dollars! =
Whoa! Northern dolts bet limit, dreaming they'll reap enormous gold!
Jaybur with:
A son for Tony and Cherie Blair =
Hooray! I declare infant's born!
Jaybur with:
The Lady in pink, Dame Barbara Cartland, dies =
Tales and charm: and banked readability. RIP.
Meyran Kraus with:
Thousands Flee The Burning Los Alamos =
Flames hit. Houses lost. Urban land - gone.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Numbers of Great Apes Are Thinning =
A hunter fires (BANG!), then primate's gone.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Indian public is opposing birth control means as pills and condoms =
Billionth child? Population's mass ascends? Bind menacing proportions!
Tom Myers with:
Time Warner Cable =
ABC: We're terminal.
Tom Myers with:
Vieques Island, Puerto Rico =
Novice USA pilots required.
Tom Myers with:
Mother's Day shopping? =
I send my photographs.
Tom Myers with:
The railway killer pleads insanity =
Alas! Pretty inane. I'd kill his lawyer.
Tom Myers with:
McCain endorses Bush =
Concerns he is as dumb.
Tom Myers with:
Malfunctions shut down Chernobyl nuclear plant =
Can't clown learn? Push button - full China syndrome.
Tom Myers with:
Using a homemade parachute =
Maniac, thud, a gruesome heap!
Tom Myers with:
Cardinal O'Connor Dies =
Rancid, and so in cooler.
Martin Rand with:
Leo Blair =
I bore all.
Mick Tully with:
Dot-com shares =
O, most crashed!
Mick Tully with:
New Hampshire International Speedway =
Winner Adam Petty in heap. Win? He's a loser.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Inflammatory Bowel Disease =
My ass blew fire, I moaned a lot.
2nd - David Bourke with:
Clitoral stimulation =
"It is all to oil a cunt, Mr!"
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Will U.S. President Clinton be disbarred? =
Rude, sordid act. Intern blew Bill's penis.
Jon Gearhart with:
Legalise prostitution =
Sell arse to pig -- tuition!
Meyran Kraus with:
Pessary/Diaphragm =
A grayish sperm-pad.
Meyran Kraus with:
Fruit of the loins =
I flirt? Oh no! Fetus!
Tom Myers with:
Sexual fantasy =
Anus sex. Lay aft.
Tom Myers with:
Giuliani steps out of the N.Y. U.S. Senate race =
Patient uneasy to cure use of his genitals.
Mick Tully with:
Missionary position =
Pair's motion is noisy.
Mick Tully with:
The female reproductive organs =
Fingered; copulates; earthmover!
1st - Larry Brash with:
You can earn $50,000 or more in the next 90 days sending e-mail.
Seem impossible? Read on for details.
=
Dear friends,
I lost all my money, i.e. exceeding $9,500,000, on this one spam.
I am one true-born sad-arse.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Do ya like watching Lesbians? =
See a bint-licking-a-lady show!
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Naked Lolitas from 7 to 18 years o.! Pictures of Hymen! Defloration
performance - MPEG Video!
www.ginecology-photo.com
=
Ripoff! Depraved wimp! Women 71-8 years old lacking of teeth -
not young girls. Women are roomy too. Cool if the cops came!
Richard Brodie with:
i am a twelve year old millionaire, see how i did it =
teenie evil idiot! "mama, i owe lawyer dollars i hid"
Jon Gearhart with:
www.sendmoreinfo.com =
www.SOME-FRIEND?NO.com
Ormasyna with:
MPEG Video and photos! =
Mad dog poop (shit, even).
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Here's how we prepare our e-mail lists:
1. We clean and eliminate all duplicates.
2. Next, we use a filter list of 400+ words/phrases to clean even more. No address with inappropriate or profane wording survive!
3. Then, a special filter file is used to eliminate the 'Web Poisoned' e-mail addresses from the list. Our EXCLUSIVE system reduced these 'poison' addresses to near zero. You may have seen CD's with 30, 40, 50 million addresses, not only do they contain may undeliverable addresses, but most are notorious for millions of these 'poisoned' email addresses.
4. Next we used our private database of thousands of known 'extremists' and kicked off every one we could find. NOTE: We maintain the world's largest list of individuals and groups that are opposed to any kind of commercial e-marketing... they are gone, nuked!
5. We sorted the list into easy-to-manage packets of 20,000 addresses in a simple text (.txt) format.
6. All domains have been verified as valid.
=
Here's how to prepare Sweet and Sour Spammer:
1. Hunt the eerie little shit using a dollar bill as bait.
2. Next, kill it! Use whichever method you want: suffocation, decapitation, poison, AIDS or even 500 stabs to the kidneys.
3. Time to fill our dead spammer!
Slice it open using a chain saw and remove insides with a spoon.
Fill the empty cadaver with EXPLOSIVES, a zillion dead red-ants
and fleas, mayo-dip, fried sea-weeds, turkey dressing, some dried
olives, dental floss, a handful of poison oak leaves, deer excrement
and lard for some extra aftertaste.
4. Next, make the sauce: Boil some red wine in a pot; gradually add 40cc of your own spit (Sweet) and pee (Sour). Slowly stir for 40 seconds. NOTE: Add some more beverages (like soda) or even standard water to maintain moisture.
5. Insert the dead stiff in the oven for 200 minutes in 3000F degrees, or wait 'till the oven explodes. Finally, pour sauce and sprinkle some sesame seeds.
6. Serve cold to your sworn enemies.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Dear Friend,
Today, I became a Member of one of the most amazing sites on the Net, TargetShop.com. It's a vast consumer community which will soon offer its Members substantial discounts on merchandise, as well as other services such as reviews, chat, on-line shopping, and a consumer search engine.
They also have a referral program that gives out cash bonuses which are payable in cash or can be applied to the purchase of the company's stock (when and if they complete an IPO)!
Would you help me reach my goal of $7500 commission by registering for FREE Membership? Just go to http://www.targetshop.com/default.asp? refId=1031386, (my referral number is 1031386) and type in my referral number.
Once you register, you will also be eligible for commission any time one of your friends registers for Membership. If you and your friends register by May 31st, you will be eligible for the Easter Bonus which pays $37.50 for every referral up to 200 referrals! Thanks, and good luck with the Easter Bonus Program!
Take care,
Your friend.
=
Dear Sucker,
I'm Larry.
I plan to con you with another Make-Me-Rich and You-Get-Poorer Internet scams. You have to be really stupid to be conned by this type of bullshit nonsense, however, there are lots of half-wits, like you, who will actually be taken in and part with your hard earned money.
Because I'm a victim of this crumby scam myself, I'll now get you caught in the same web of deceit that fooled me. I'm no genius myself, but I feel you're more stupid than me and will easily get ripped off.
I have lost $1,058,700, so far, since 1st March 2000 and need to con 3173 fools at $335 per fool or, perhaps, 1681 morons at $633 per moron, to get into profit again.
If you see this and murmur "this seems a very good idea for some spare cash", you're just the lame-brain for me and one of my glib scams.
The cash balance is soon zero ($0). Bereft of crisis reserves, suffering occurs, as spam brings grief, worry. Wife bashing happens (grrr!), hashish abuse appears, hemp charges, more crime (robbery), herpes germs infect the genital members (grrr!).
www.e-currency.cons
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
L.E,G.A,L C,A.B,L.E T,V D,E-S,C.R,A.M,B.L,E.R
Want to watch Sporting Events?--Movies?--Pay-Per-View??
*This is the Famous R-O Shack TV De-scrambler
You can assemble it from Radio Shack parts for about $12 to $15.
We Send You:
1, E-Z To follow Assembly Instructions.
2. E-Z To read Original Drawings.
3. Total Parts List.
**** PLUS SOMETHING NEW YOU MUST HAVE! ****
Something you can't do without.
THE UP-TO-DATE 6 PAGE REPORT:
USING A DE-SCRAMBLER LEGALLY
Warning: You should not build a TV Descrambler without reading this report first.
Fill out form below and send it, along with your $10.00 payment to:
C.a.b.l.e.F.R.E.E-TV
1342 East Vine Str #216
Kissimmee Fl 34744
(Cash, Check or Money Order.)
(Florida residents include 7% Florida State Sales Tax)
(All orders outside the U.S.A. add $5.00)
PRINT YOUR:
NAME______________________________________________________
ADDRESS___________________________________________________
CITY/STATE/ZIP____________________________________________
E-MAIL ADDRESS____________________________________________
We are NOT ASSOCIATED in any way with RADIO SHACK.
=
LEGAL WAYS TO TORTURE A SPAMMER
Dislike sad spammers' rude dross? Good at D.I.Y.?
Learn with us how to soup up little motors and other odd components
available at D.I.Y. stores until they become instruments of vast
terror!
Do a low-cost ($17) "HappySack E-Z CrushMatic", a $32 "Ream-A-Rama" (inserts a dozen bowling balls into the fuckwit's nostrils and shoves a fork up his urethra), or a $41 "SelfLubeTurdProber", with a weird metal gizmo that ascends into his rectal cavity until it meets resistance or screaming ceases (whatever comes last), before applying 136,447,411,312,500 volts DC!
But DO NOT DIVE IN without first obtaining our scientifically valid report, legally defining spammers as a variety of higher fungus. Only then will your defence lawyers be able to make a good case.
Yes, Order TODAY!
$60.00 (add 25% death tax)
www.turds2dust.net
Dan Fortier with:
Welcome to the Teen circle. We have everything from teens being
spied on to teens fucking.
Cum check us out without having all the annoying banners and popups.
New pages are added daily!!!!!
=
Need pedophile fuck action?? Checking sites, half them women eighteen
and up. Our bare cunts average twelve and one's NINE!
My page won't stay - undercover police go bust anything this lewd.
Jon Gearhart with:
para ganar dinero desde cualqier computador
macintosh, pc, amiga, etc..
sin tener que descargar nada
solo por navegar te pagan todo lo que naveges al mes
solo inscribete en esta página:
https://secure.clickdough.com/servlets/cr/CRSignup.po?referral_id=francisco
y ganaras mucho
=
Earn cool cash at my pc doing nothing? This crap career sounds too good to be true! Quick, crap-ass cancer -- tell me more! (I quiver, dance in nervous anticipation, and release a musical green arse gas.)
http://sarcasm.go-arse-pump-a-craddle-squirrel.org/a-fevered-gonadless-pagan/pc-co.fag
Graham Perkins with:
Hi, I am student looking for creative writing for my online magazine,
and if anyone could sumbit something that would be really great.
You can email the stuff to me at rws@sympatico.ca
thanks
=
I need homework essays because I'm a really thick lout.
I download ton of filth from
http://gargantuan.bazonga.com/giant-mammaries
Send nifty tale to cure.my.unlit.wit@university.of.cheating
Martin Rand with:
readers our company has established a new website for our dealers
and customers worldwide. we are also looking for partnership in
business and also e-commerce solution.
for further info, log on to our website;
http://siewcheong.website.com.my
or mail to us at
sccmsb@tm.net.my
=
Boneheads,
Our company has inflicted cryptic and irresponsible ramblings
on all and sundry.
Do we care? The arse listens not when it talks...
For more useless, meretricious bum-fur, log onto our website:
http://amorous-mafioso/wee-wee.com
or forward best wishes to:
tom@sewage.com
Martin Rand with:
i am a 12 year old millionaire, see how i did it
like me, you can do the same in a simple process. go to this website for more details:www.geocities.com/xz35/momoney.html
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
=
ee, help! i can't reach the caps lock
i'm a 2 year old fiddler. i don't suss all these buttons.
i wish you to aid me, and promise:
free entry to metz
135 climaxes a day
visit: www.big-boogie.com/moo-moo/wee-wee
wow me! i'm mimi-jo joy...
Martin Rand with:
This is a one time mailing.
No removal required.
That's right...Earn 50-90k in just 90 days GUARANTEED!
This is a legitimate home-based business opportunity which allows you to make HUGE money with only a tiny effort. Isn't it time that you started to earn the money you've always wanted to?
For the money-making chance of your lifetime,
Click Here --> mailto:earn90k@hotmail.com enter "quick money" under Subject and click Send.
Get started today!
=
This is a frequent spamming.
No objections tolerated, tetch!
Hi! I'm fat Jemima. You got it, sucker... Shovel your spondoolicks
this way, and I GUARANTEE to make them go AWOL.
99,500 --> 90, quick as a ferret in a coney-farm!
I sink your hard-earned nickels into:
-mythical tenement rental
-no-value nude teen filth
-whitish dehydrated urine
-cute ant eye-teeth
-my teeth
Kiss:
(a) your money goodbye;
(b) my arse!
Start losing today!
Mail to: win.0.twit@thugmail.com
1st - Richard Grantham with:
How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the
sand?
Yes and how many times must the cannon balls fly before they're
forever banned?
=
The answer, my friend, is... ten. Maybe eleven. Honest.
What, seems too damn small? Or do you maybe wanna have a naff,
touchy-feely sham answer, "man"? "Blowin' in the
wind" or some pure sadarse lefty bollocks? Hah!
Dumbass.
2nd - Graham Perkins with:
How many dyslexic persons does it take to change a light bulb?
=
One holding weighty steps, sixty chums to read a label on back.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
You will not hear from us again; as a matter of fact, you do not
need to ask us to delete your name from the list since we will
not contact you ever again.
=
There once was a looter from Scarsdale
Who sent uninformative-ad e-mails
Until I got a gun
Tore you yet-a-new-one
And let my cat fuck you, too. ("Soft tail!")
Larry Brash with:
Please consider taking a moment to fill out a short, 6 question
multiple choice survey at
http://www.geocities.com/surveynumber2
=
Is it a quite cunning spam? Or else merely a crap post from the
wanker whose bullshit you'd vomit seeing. We veto it.
tut26@occult.com
David Bourke with:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
=
And laid out, his tummy wasn't empty at all, that plump porky-pud
lardy egg-lump. Hey, he shouldn't eat all that ham then, fucking
gross gannet!
Jon Gearhart with:
"They that dally nicely with words may quickly make them
wanton." =
My quality handy work shall take my TIME, not thy wet, wild CHANCE.
Jaybur with:
How many anagrammers does it take to change a lightbulb? =
Eno! said Brash, Grantham, Keith, Tully, Tom: now became a gag!
Tom Myers with:
Smokey Bear says " remember only you can prevent forest fires." =
My, my! Arrest of Park Service by bear not foreseen. So unseemly!
Graham Perkins with:
How many senior managers does it take to change a light bulb? =
Bah! Working on a mission statement: "Cheat, haggle, deal, or buy".
Martin Rand with:
THE WORLD'S BEST KEPT SECRET
Wild Velvet, THE WORLD'S BEST KEPT SECRET
www.wildvelvet.com offers a CUSTOMIZED FREE CD for members ONLY!
NO OTHER SITE IN THE WORLD OFFERS YOU THIS PRIVILEGE!
With a FIRST CLASS customer service, NO WONDER WE ARE NO.1
Just log on and start your private home collection.
Wild Velvet, Promotion Department
*** This message will not be repeated! ***
To get in touch with us, go to customerservice at the bottom of each page on our site.
To be removed from this mail list, simply click on the -REPLY- button.
=
THE UNIVERSE'S MOST CRYPTIC PROMOTION
What treats do we tempt with? Devil Wee, the WORLD NO.1 tonic,
revivifier, settler, fettler and buttock gel!
Get some spice into that drab life! Ease those aches!
Come EVERY weekend! (Thrill!)
Contains:
- Preserved members.
- Cold foot-rot.
- Toffee blob. Mmm!!
- Salted slushy cow. Hmm...
*** This utter drivel will repeat shortly! ***
To give us your savings, log on to www.open-wallets.co.nz.
To be fitted with concrete socks prior to a swim, just ignore us. Our staff'll be round to provide complete home service.
1st - Graham Perkins with:
The actress, Jamie Lee Curtis =
Er... here's a clue: majestic tits!
2nd - Mick Tully with:
Field Marshal Montgomery =
Doom! This German army fell.
3rd - Whitney Cohen with:
King Arthur Pendragon =
Run pagan knight order.
David Bourke with:
Air Chief Marshal Sir Sandy Wilson =
"Drains RAF cash? I mean, how silly, Sir!"
David Bourke with:
Tony Bullimore =
"I'm only trouble!"
David Bourke with:
The Weather Report bassist Jaco Pastorius =
"O, ace! That 'Portrait' is just sheer bass-power!"
David Bourke with:
Brian Souter =
Anus Orbiter.
Richard Grantham with:
Australian soprano Dame Joan Sutherland =
A normal aria just drones on... "La Stupenda"? HA!
Jaybur with:
The painter Canaletto =
Hint: 'canoe' art palette.
Jaybur with:
Colonel David Scott; Ms Anna Ford =
So, did moon stroll and can face TV.
Jaybur with:
Miss Elizabeth Hurley =
Blimey! hazel suits her.
Meyran Kraus with:
Jamie Lee Curtis, the actress =
James C. creates hit: "True Lies"...
Dave Linabury with:
Stephanie Seymour =
Hips tease your men.
1st - Richard Brodie with:
The great pyramid of Cheops =
My God! Perfect Pharaoh site!
2nd - Ormasyna with:
Slimfast Bars =
Trims ass flab.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The big ocean-liner, 'The Titanic' =
Hit one iceberg in the Atlantic.
Don P. Fortier with:
Toyota Landcruiser SUV =
Could say it's a "turnover".
Richard Grantham with:
Cambridge University =
I'm ever studying a crib!
Richard Grantham with:
Microsoft Encarta =
Moronic artefacts.
Jaybur with:
Saint Michael =
I'm stale chain.
Graham Perkins with:
Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals =
Yum! Oven-roast cheery little coneys in oil of fat parrot.
Mick Tully with:
Modern Tate =
Deem: not art.
Mick Tully with:
'Roget's Thesaurus' =
User shouts: "Great!"
1st - Mick Tully with:
Legalise prostitution =
It's legislature option.
Touts tip: girlie on sale.
Log stilettoes up in air!
Regulate, list position.
Elite tooling upstairs!
Priest: 'Out, legislation!'
2nd - Jaybur with:
Temporary tax increase =
Exacts monetary repair.
A rampant Tory exercise.
Extra year's importance.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Television advertising =
Egotists in naïve drivel.
Invites revolting ideas.
Strives to inveigle an id.
Invasive, to instil greed.
Whitney Cohen with:
Musical theatre =
It's a Hamlet cure.
Much-satire tale.
Act? Usher? I'm late!
Jaybur with:
Come into the garden, Maud =
Magic date under the moon.
Mind one huge tom-cat, dear.
Ormasyna with:
Perpetual motion machine =
Our cheap implementation.
I am an impotent, cruel hope.
Inept thermocouple mania.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The Soldier
2nd - Mike Keith with:
Lo,
as a careful huswife runs to catch
eq.3rd - David Bourke with:
HOW MANY RICHARD GRANTHAMS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
NONE. (BUT LIT THE AWARDS CHART! HAIL THE BIG SHOCK ANAGRAMMY
GOD!)
HOW MANY JON GEARHARTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
DO JUST GET ONE RHYME KING (WHO CAN BOAST/BRAG A LITTLE - HA HA!)
HOW MANY LARRY BRASH'S DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
"G'DAY ALL! IT'S ONE!" - MR. L.B. (BY THE BUSH - WATCH
THE KANGAROOS AIR).
HOW MANY WILLIAM TUNSTALL-PEDOES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT
BULB? =
BE ALIGHT? AH WELL, AT MOST, IT WILL TAKE ONLY ONE SUCH MAD, BAD,
TOP GENIUS.
HOW MANY JANETS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? =
AH, JUST BE TWO - BOTH LADIES CAN LET GO, MAKE ANY NIGHT!
HOW MANY MIKE KEITHS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? =
"I BET ON HIGH, BUT DO I KNOW MATHEMATICALLY?" ASKS
THE GEEK.
HOW MANY WHITNEY COHENS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
"CHANGE, EH? WHY, GLAD TO (THAT'S THIS ONCE), BUT I'M ONLY
A NEWBIE, OK!"
HOW MANY MICK TULLY'S DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
ONE, MAYBE? (A DUMB HUNCH) - GO ASK THAT LOWLY SICK LITTLE GIT.
HOW MANY DANIEL F. ETTERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
BUT WHY? IN FACT, HE DOES NOT NEED TO A BIT. (EG: ALL A MAKER'S
LIGHT)
HOW MANY MEYRAN KRAUS'S DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
ASK D.B. - "ONLY ONE ISRAELI (BUT OY, WHAT A GEM! MUCH GREAT
THANKS!)"
HOW MANY RICHARD BRODIES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
WHY, ABOUT ONE. O HARK! BIBLE SAID "CHRIST, MAN! GOD CREATED
LIGHT!"
eq.3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Psalm
148
David Bourke with:
All
The Young Dudes
David Bourke with:
Annus
Mirabilis by Philip Larkin
Meyran Kraus with:
The Pharos (Lighthouse) of Alexandria =
A fog-horn alert? Oh, exult! Ship is ahead!
The Temple of Artemis (Diana) at Ephesus =
Item appeased a huntress: "I felt at home!"
The Great Pyramids of Egypt =
Mystery-gadget for epitaph...
The (Helios) Colossus of Rhodes =
So, chiseled Sol of south shore?
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon =
A hot fan's green, dangling hobby.
The Statue of Zeus at Olympia =
A stout male, up to a hefty size.
The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus =
Commiserate last ash? Ah, unusual.
Meyran Kraus with:
A
quote from Joseph Conrad's "Chance"
Tom Myers with:
Some Texas rankings among the 50 states, from federal statistics
and other sources:
First in executions.
Second in state prisoner incarceration rate.
Second in rate of children without health insurance.
Second in births to mothers aged fifteen to seventeen.
Second in estimated number of undocumented immigrants.
Ninth in percent of children living in poverty.
Sixteenth in crime rate.
Nineteenth in average annual unemployment rate.
Twenty-eighth in per capita personal income.
Thirty-fourth in teacher salaries.
Forty-fourth in percent of homeowners.
Forty-fifth in percent high school graduates.
Forty-seventh in cost of living.
Forty-seventh in percent of voting age population voting.
Forty-eighth in per capita state taxes.
Fiftieth in per capita state spending.
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Top Ten Reasons Texas Governor George W. Bush is a perfectly fine candidate - if replacing Saddam Hussein.
(ten) He can incarcerate most of the minority-born ethnic populace.
(nine) Don't get medicine for the young since the cash in this resource-rich-state is spent first-off on fine art, property, or on luxuries.
(eight) Find that all his relatives are rich, connected to government. A plus if you're nutty.
(seven) Every night have seen this dirty arrogant face on TV.
(six) He's centered in the arms/rifle/ammunition maker's laps.
(five) Chronic anti-immigrant.
(four) Experienced: stint wasting that fine oil money. Theft not the intent.
(three) Isn't that record on capital punishment fine to stand on!
(two) Finds non-voting state. Fits-in perfect!
(one) Father, in past, got tip-top name recognition there.