Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2002
1st - Larry Brash with:
Electro-Convulsive Therapy =
Pray the volts cure violence.
2nd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
Nuclear reactor =
An ulcer creator.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Opinionated =
Idea on point.
Wayne Baisley with:
Some old friends =
Reminded of loss.
Joe Fathallah with:
Online Romance =
inane-loner.com
Joe Fathallah with:
A Special Educational Needs Student =
I calculated, ten add one is, (pauses.....) ten!
Jesse Frankovich with:
Nail clippers =
I call nippers.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Toasted bran flakes =
Forsake bland taste.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The Politicians ~
sit in Capitol, eh?
Jesse Frankovich with:
Bargain prices =
Big crap is near.
Scott Gardner with:
A watched pot never boils =
Observe--placid, won't heat.
Scott Gardner with:
Crime doesn't pay =
Money? Pirate CDs!
Scott Gardner with:
The best things in life are free =
He felt benefits herein, gratis.
Scott Gardner with:
Discretion is the better part of valor =
Often, to ditch, slip, or retreat is brave.
Scott Gardner with:
Spare the rod and spoil the child =
People do it (thrash children). Sad!
Adrian Hickford with:
Discriminate =
Indite racism.
Mattias Inghe with:
Pagan religions =
Regional apings.
Mattias Inghe with:
Political correctness =
Please control critics.
Mattias Inghe with:
An Argentinian woman =
A man-winner in a tango.
Mattias Inghe with:
Generalization =
Nazi relegation.
Jaybur with:
The tension rises =
This is *not* serene!
Jaybur with:
Saint Elmo's Fire =
Rise into flames.
Jaybur with:
Two can live as cheaply as one =
P-lease! NO way can I halve cost!
Jaybur with:
The Freudian analyst =
Yeah, and a trifle nuts!
Jaybur with:
The post-Christmas sales =
Claim stress at the shops!
Meyran Kraus with:
The androgynes =
Host any gender.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Instant coffee =
Not finest cafe.
Paul Pan with:
Foul one is ~
felonious.
Paul Pan with:
Free Personal Horoscope =
Career hopes fool person.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
It doesn't really matter =
Old literary statement!
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Poets and ~
notepads.
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Property investor man =
Very important person?
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Love is strange =
So everlasting.
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Romantic honeymoons =
Oh man, corny emotions!
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Cost reduction =
To consider cut.
Ghud Sariffian with:
Golf players =
Largely fops.
Ghud Sariffian with:
Death row prisoner =
...or we pardon the sir.
Ghud Sariffian with:
Medical research ~
reached miracles.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The 'William Tell' Overture by Gioacchino Rossini =
It is lively hero music with a cool Lone Ranger bit.
2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The singer Christina Aguilera =
Rich girl generates a hit in USA!
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Writer C. Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" =
Miser and worker Cratchit classic.
Larry Brash with:
Lord of the Rings, Part Two: 'The Two Towers' =
It's long. Reward: the worth of two 'Potters'.
Richard Brodie with:
The famous Pieta of Michelangelo Buonarroti =
O lap of a beautiful mom here, a gone Christ on it.
Scott Gardner with:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs =
Oh! Sweet DVD wins new fan's heart!
David A. Green with:
The singer Artemios (Demis) Ventouris Roussos =
Is tiresome enormous-arsed sight on TV. Sure is!
Mattias Inghe with:
Guns 'N' Roses' comeback tour =
Rock scums unrobe on stage!
Jaybur with:
Miss Kate (Catherine) Bush =
A music beat, then shrieks!
Paul Pan with:
Woody Allen ~
wooed all NY.
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Spiderman =
"Spin" armed.
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Reality TV =
Evil! Ratty!
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
The Amazing Race =
Reach giant maze.
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
O Little Town of Bethlehem =
No hotel to befit them well.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus =
Hot Tip: Nurse's touch may cause critical illness.
3rd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
United Airlines =
'Ruined' isn't a lie!
Larry Brash with:
Noel - Christmas Day =
Mary's child atones.
Richard Brodie with:
The bishop and cardinal molest catholic boys =
Celibacy's problem that's a stain on childhood.
Jesse Frankovich with:
United Airlines files for bankruptcy =
Air of panic: 'friendly skies' turbulent.
Scott Gardner with:
Anti-war demonstrator =
Traitor wanted no arms.
Toby Gottfried with:
Homeland security =
Say heil to Mr Dunce.
Richard Grantham with:
We Three Kings of Orient are =
The trio seek for a new reign.
Richard Grantham with:
The conman Peter Foster =
Matter for No. Ten speech.
David A. Green with:
The dentist-to-the-stars Philip Stemmer =
Triesth re-mend pist Liam'sth top teesth.
Jaybur with:
Painting: View of the Sea At Scheveningen =
Thieves' intent: win a fine Van Gogh, escape.
Meyran Kraus with:
'Scorched Earth' =
He'd torch acres!
Meyran Kraus with:
A shopping-mall Santa =
Man pats gal on his lap.
Tom Myers with:
Wishing a safe and wonderful Christmas to everyone! =
Savior was refused fancy hotel, is down in the manger.
Tom Myers with:
Our very best wishes for a great New Year =
Sure beer is tasty, we're wary of hangover!
Paul Pan with:
Seasons Greetings =
Insane egg tossers.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Russian Federation =
NATO is a sure friend?
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The first human clone =
Then he's from lunatic.
Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Year-end sales =
Yes, earn deals!
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Christmas time =
It emits charms.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Christmas present =
Merchants persist!
1st - Paul Pan with:
Genital piercing =
Get a nice lip-ring.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The transsexual =
Axe her nuts last.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A menstrual flow =
Raw smell of tuna.
Scott Cooper with:
Dog farts under the table =
Send for that beagle turd.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Stiff organ =
Groin staff.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Sex/porn movies =
Some pro vixens.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The rectal opening =
Hence, genital port.
Toby Gottfried with:
Bush Administration =
I, a dumb shit son, ran it.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
A case of blue balls =
Lose a full sac, babe.
Mattias Inghe with:
Political correctness =
Ironic step: Call escort.
Mattias Inghe with:
Erotic fantasies =
Fiction as teaser.
Karl Wassmann with:
To be exercising =
Erotic sex binge.
1st - Larry Brash with:
Safe Sex Shell + Condom = Total Protection
The Safe Sex Shell is a circular plastic shell with a protrusive hole on the center. See http://www.sexsafe.biz
This product is to be used in combination with a condom. The protrusion wraps around the mouth of the condom, holding securely in place, thereby reducing the likelihood of it falling off.
Whereas condoms only cover parts of the penis from contact with body fluids, the shell joins together with the condom to protect the entire penis and surrounding areas, further eliminating the risk of contagion. The protrusion also produces a tension around the penis, reducing the blood flow and increasing the duration of erection.
The small protrusions around the center protrusion touch the female, let her feel more happy.
The Safe Sex Shell is invented by Mr. Lin Hua and got patent. Mr. Lin Hua wishes to cooperate with you to promote the product to world. If you are interested in the product, you can contact linhua@ustc.edu
=
Dear Mr Hua
I'm writing to complain about your product, the gizmo that one puts on one's erect penis to keep the condom on, less I end up with STD, and, if we do screw, so I can thrill the girlfriend. The Sex Shell thing...
True, it has worked just as you said, as we both had fine sex, until a few unexpected side effects occurred. The main one is I can't get the shell off!
It's been on for four months. I've managed to cut a hole in the french letter so I can finally have a piss. However, I got this chronic priapism, one permanent erection, an chronic boner, one constant hardon, the total opposite to erectile impotence. The head and whole length of the shaft's this purple colour, hot, and seriously hurts. I'm worried it could turn out to be my old penis, not the condom, that will drop off! The stench's totally putrid (people are now recoiling).
Truth is I'm hopelessly stuffed.
Should I see an expert doctor, a clinic or the urology hospital or not?
How about a return, refund or court costs?
Larry 'Eunuch' Brash
2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
If you do not wish to receive this e-mail in the future, kindly reply to this e-mail with 'Unsubscribe' written as the subject.
=
This shit is terribly stupid - your fiftieth unwanted abusive note, bitch! Cancel me without one more, jerk site! Why? I'll sue!
1st - Jaybur with:
Luke 2:10-14
2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Luke 2:10-14
Joe Fathallah with:
The President of the United States of America, George Walker Bush =
Total fascist buggered the USA. I'm peed on reefer. I shot the wanker...
Jesse Frankovich with:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America =
I allege to genuflect... this striped image of hate? Flee to Canada!
1st - Richard Grantham with:
President George 'Dubya' Bush =
Beyond a sheer stupid bugger.
2nd - Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Carmen Sandiego =
Crime's on agenda.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Italian doctor Severino Antinori =
Revision on traditional creation.
Joe Fathallah with:
Ari Fleischer =
He's clarifier?!
Jesse Frankovich with:
Cardinal Law of the Archdiocese of Boston =
O, fire worst bonehead of Catholic scandal!
Richard Grantham with:
The writer Umberto Eco =
Cerebrum there: wit, too.
Richard Grantham with:
President George Walker Bush =
This 'ere bungler's a powderkeg.
Mattias Inghe with:
Paul Simon =
Soul in amp.
Jaybur with:
The English poet William Wordsworth =
He's top writer: so how man will delight!
Dean Mayer with:
The TV magician David Blaine =
I've a climb and, at night, a dive.
Paul Pan with:
Amilcare Andrea "Benito" Mussolini =
As in: miserable Italian Duce moron.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle =
O, Chandler's in your art!
Hans-Peter Reich with:
George "Dubya" Bush =
Huge absurd bogey.
1st - Mattias Inghe with:
Capitol Hill =
Politic hall.
2nd - Jaybur with:
The Olympus Digital Camera =
Oh my, captured a still image!
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Anti-Terror Police =
Airline protector.
Wayne Baisley with:
Pied-a-terre =
Retiree pad?
Stuart Evans with:
The lost city of Atlantis =
Lofty ocean silt - That's it!
Joe Fathallah with:
San Marino =
No marinas.
Joe Fathallah with:
Houses of Parliament =
The amoral use of spin.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The Sun-Maid Growers of California, USA =
Cuter woman figure has load of raisins.
Chris Gammon with:
Intel Inside =
Need .INI list.
Toby Gottfried with:
Bush administration =
Ban trust in him as I do.
Richard Grantham with:
The Reformation =
Time for another?
Richard Grantham with:
Metropolitan Police Force =
Elite cop on patrol of crime.
David A. Green with:
The Worshipful Society of Freemasons =
A few shy policemen hoist trousers off!
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Fort Lauderdale =
Featured dollar.
Mattias Inghe with:
Rwanda =
...and war.
Mattias Inghe with:
Saudi Arabia =
Arab: I aid USA.
Tom Myers with:
The Air Force installation near Groom Lake ~
took in aliens or a large alien mothercraft.
Paul Pan with:
The Raelian Revolution =
Re-evaluation on Hitler.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Athens Olympics =
Champion's style.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Lancer Evolution =
Novel car outline.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Henry Sambrooke
Leigh: The Twins
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Dear Brash,
I am barrister Godwin Ezechukwua solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr David Brash, who used to work with shell development company in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my client.
On the 21st of April 1999, my client, his wife And their three children were involved in a car accident along sagbama express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful.
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confisicated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged. particularly, the New Nigeria Bank (NNB) Plc where the deceased had an account valued at about 10million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated.
Since i have been unsuccesfull in locating the the relatives for over 2 years now i seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at 10million dollars can be paid to you and then you and i can share the money. I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this dealt through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Please reply me by this email address:ezechukwu_godwin@hotmail.com for security to enable us discuss further.
Best regards, Godwin Ezechukwu (esq)
=
Dearest Counsellor Ezechukwu
It's with great sadness and shock that I received your news about my much beloved Uncle David and family's deaths. I'd long wondered why I had not had news from him these last three years but I had no idea that he and the family had met such a tragic end.
How I'll miss Uncle and his quite lovely creative wife, Kathy, and beautiful teenage children Anna and Aaron and lovely baby Erica. I can only hope that their terrible deaths were swift and painless.
Uncle David often spoke of the trip to Nigeria in his letters to me, as his nephew (one only living relative). As you may know, he travelled there excitedly to secure the large amount of money that had been offered to him in the email from the Royal Family of Chief Soebo killed during a coup.
We were puzzled and it concerned us that it was a sort of scam and tried to talk Uncle out of taking his family to your beauteous country, but your reliable news confirms that he received the money and that his decision was the correct one. Uncle also spoke at great length of the great honesty of the peaceful Nigerian people, in particular the respectable, impeccable lawyers and his obvious trust in them. Your most agreeable email proves that this trust was correctly placed.
Your kind gift of all these millions of dollars exceeds all expectations. It occurs at a very providential time. I have been quite down on my luck, have no assets, am about to be evicted, and, in essence, become homeless. Hence, under the current circumstances I require that you can post me, at once, an urgent electronic advance to cure the pressing overheads that have been troubling me recently, to cover all court case costs, reasonable retainer and search fees, special taxes, various incidentals, etc.
Please excuse my haste,
Sincere best wishes,
Peace,
Larry Brash.
3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Dunciad Variorum
Jaybur with:
Why do some people top their Christmas tree with a fairy?
The figure often seen on top of Christmas trees is not a fairy but an angel. This confusion is one of a number that surround Christmas tree decorations, including the use of fairy lights which have nothing to do with fairies, but are, in fact, supposed to represent the stars which shone over Bethlehem when Jesus was born.
The symbolism of the angel is essentially the same as that other favoured tree-top decoration - a star. Both were the means by which the good news of the Saviour's birth was relayed to the world - the angel to the shepherds and the star to the Magi, the wise men.
Both the angel and the star were used by God to be the heralds of salvation. The placing of an angel or a star on top of the Christmas tree is a reminder of their message that "The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world".
=
HO! HO! HO!
One Christmas, long ago, four of Santa's elves were ill, and the trainees weren't producing the toys fast enough. Santa was tense, tired and harassed: the poor chap was going bananas. Then Mrs Claus told him her mother was threatening to see them both shortly: more stress!
That night, when he went out to fetch the reindeer, he saw some were rheumatic, while other nimbler, rebel ones had airily hoofed it over the wire fence.
Later, Santa went home, craving hot, frothy coffee, or perhaps a cheering hot dash of best spirits. But the mischievous, conniving elves hadn't left any.
Just then, the doorbell rang: a little fairy was on the step... with a big Christmas tree.
This fairy was supposed to distribute trees across the land but she had missed someone out.
"Hi! Hey, fat boy, I'm late. I goofed. Where we going to put this?"
Thus began the tradition of the fairy on top of the Christmas tree.