NOVEMBER 2003 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2003


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Correspondent ~
does CNN report.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The desert oasis ~
does ease thirst.

3rd - Dean Mayer with:
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned =
Flamethrower on hand, she can kill you!

David Bourke with:
The season of goodwill =
Food, wine...also the logs.

Larry Brash with:
Transcendental meditation =
CD's entitled "Intone a Mantra".

Larry Brash with:
A doctor's home visit =
He vomits (sic) at door.

Larry Brash with:
Testing ~
"setting".

Larry Brash with:
The anti-depressant pills =
Need happiness? It'll start...

Richard Brodie with:
Historic military engagements =
Notice mighty armies tangle. Sir!

Jesse Frankovich with:
A plentiful harvest =
Serve that up in fall.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Tons of sweet candies =
Woe on dentists' faces!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Nuclear Physics Department =
Man, such particle-nerd types!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Vision, hearing, taste, smell, and feel =
Five senses relating all to a mind, eh?

Jesse Frankovich with:
Pop-up advertisements =
Stop pure evident spam!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Cosmetic makeovers =
Come cover mistakes.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A scheduling conflict =
Shifting... could cancel.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Kindergarten teachers ~
gather kids near center.

Toby Gottfried with:
Election returns =
Ten recounts rile.

Richard Grantham with:
Honestly
On the sly.

David A. Green with:
Native American Indian smoke signals =
Can I send it via a message in normal ink?

Adrian Hickford with:
Baby gender selection =
'Designable Boy' Centre.

Adrian Hickford with:
Anti-gravity =
Try aviating.

Mike Keith with:
Codebreakers =
Seek A,B,C order.

Dean Mayer with:
They said "Titanic" could not sink =
So it did, sunk on the icy Atlantic.

Dean Mayer with:
Disaster =
Er, it's sad.

Dean Mayer with:
Burgers, fries, chocolate, soft drinks =
Gross fat children to be sick, for sure.

Dean Mayer with:
Solvent abuse =
Loves butanes!

Dean Mayer with:
Identification parades =
I dread pointin' at 'is face.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Mediums =
Dummies!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The distress signal ~
lightens disasters.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch =
Charming senses that evolution laid.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Elementary particles ~
are simple, yet central!

sundogg99 with:
Representative democracy =
Demonstrate every caprice.

View with:
A palindrome =
Dipolar name.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY


1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa =
A smile adorns a vain old icon.

2nd - David Bourke with:
Walt Disney's 'Winnie The Pooh' =
Went to slide his paw in honey.

3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Ludwig von Beethoven's Eroica Symphony =
He's moved by huge victory Napoleon wins.

David Bourke with:
'One More Chance' =
Come hear nonce.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Impressionist painter =
Monet inspires a spirit.

David A. Green with:
'Mortuary Cosmetology' by Sheridan Mayer =
May I smarten your brother's gloomy decay?

Adrian Hickford with:
Impressionist painters =
In time, Pissarro steps in.

Meyran Kraus with:
"Pocahontas", an animated film by Disney =
Compile a fantasy based on Indian myth.

Dean Mayer with:
A TV role =
Love rat!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Composer Claudio Monteverdi =
Improved a melodious concert.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY


1st - David Bourke with:
Baghdad, the capital of Iraq =
Big patch of Al-Qaida hatred.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Pedophiliac Singer Michael Jackson =
Jail Pop King! Cease his child romance!

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Warrant Issued for Michael Jackson's Arrest =
Star remains just a wacko for children's arse!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Southern California =
So, hot fire can ruin LA.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Mideast's Democracy? =
Accords meet dismay.

Jesse Frankovich with:
US presence in the Middle East =
Intense scheme, stupid leader.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The humanitarian efforts ~
nourish after that famine.

Toby Gottfried with:
Thus, Art Carney's work comes to an end =
As Ed Norton, actor knew such mastery.

Jan with:
The Roadmap to Peace =
O Dear Me! Path to pace.

Meyran Kraus with:
Bush Visit to Iraq Was Kept a Secret =
Bet his trip's cover was quite a task!

Dean Mayer with:
Wilkinson's boot secures England victory =
O, a skilled conversion wins Rugby contest.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
The rock star groupie =
Care to go up her skirt?

eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
Impotency drug Viagra =
Gigantic. (Am VERY proud!)

eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A stretch in prison =
O! Sphincter strain!

David Bourke with:
No brassiere? =
Boner arises!

David Bourke with:
Open relationships =
Sin. (Herpes optional).

David Bourke with:
The rock star groupie =
Tour, so get her a prick.

Larry Brash with:
Female genitals =
Fellas eat minge!

Jesse Frankovich with:
A new breast implant =
Want ample set in bra.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The magazine centerfolds =
Sad men gaze on their cleft.

Meyran Kraus with:
The anti-impotency drug Viagra =
May upright an inactive todger!


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
American President George W. Bush =
He needs grim war to bring us peace?!

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
John Cleese in 'Fawlty Towers' =
Ah! Joy of well-written scenes!

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Academy Winner Tom Hanks =
Ah, cinema's my known trade.

David Bourke with:
Russell Ira Crowe =
Clueless warrior.

David Bourke with:
The footballer Edson Arantes do Nascimento =
He'd score one datable Latin most afternoons!

Larry Brash with:
President of the USA =
Path of eruditeness.

Toby Gottfried with:
William Henry Gates =
Try a shell game. I win.

Paul Pan with:
The singer and dancer Michael Jackson =
An "innocent caress game"? Jerk *had* child!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Italian dictator Benito Mussolini =
It's "Il Duce"! Ambition is not rational!

sundogg99 with:
Ex-president Ronald Reagan =
Resting, darn near poleaxed.

View with:
Poseidon- the God of waters =
Woe, to fight odd sea person!

View with:
Singer Louis Armstrong =
Negro's our smiling star.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The recent Microsoft Windows update =
Few noticed it's the same worn product.

2nd - Matjaz Pihler with:
The Apollo Thirteen mission =
One hellish Moon-trip, I state.

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
His crimes proven =
HM Prison Service.

David Bourke with:
The International Dyslexia Association =
Liaison to aid an anxiety: letters in chaos.

Larry Brash with:
American Express Card - Don't leave home without it. =
I'm a credit loan that covered expenses at our whim.

Jesse Frankovich with:
US House of Representatives =
Spare the use of one's virtues.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Empire State Building =
Big ape seen? Limited truth.

Toby Gottfried with:
Now, as later, no elk to play in ~
Yellowstone National Park.

David A. Green with:
The Origami Society of the Netherlands =
They are into folding each sheet so trim.

Dean Mayer with:
Cot death syndrome =
Oh, ma! Tot's cry ended!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Yosemite Valley =
Yes, a lovely time!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
AOL Instant Messenger =
Masses on? Internet-lag!

sundogg99 with:
Perrier Jouet Champagne =
More per grape than juice.

sundogg99 with:
Wild Turkey Bourbon =
Blue? Buy drink or two.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Members of the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists =
By all the results and models, we are claiming that Prozac is safe for anyone.

2nd - David Bourke with:
Royals hold a miniature-size cute little baby, now named... ~
Lady Louise Alice Elizabeth Mary Mountbatten-Windsor.

3rd - Dean Mayer with:
President George Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair =
To be presented: British premier and lying ignoramus.

David Bourke with:
President George Walker Bush and Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton Blair =
A permanently import-bungling shit and a slithery brown-nosed arse-licker here.

Jesse Frankovich with:
President George W. Bush and Prime Minister Anthony C. L. Blair =
Complete ignoramus and Brit behind his war presently reign.

David A. Green with:
Walt Disney's 'The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh' =
Aha! Pots of sweet new honey'd innately drive him nuts.

Jan with:
Charities Reconsidering Ties With Michael Jackson =
Renew contract? High-risk! Ciao! See cited sins, Jail him!

Meyran Kraus with:
"Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow; and everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go" =
Ew! Halt that line! Rhymes about a woman's savagely lewd matter with a beast weren't for *my* wee child's ears!


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Anthology: The Best Of Michael Jackson

Disc 1

1. Got To Be There
2. Rockin' Robin
3. Ain't No Sunshine
4. Maria (You Were The Only One)
5. I Wanna Be Where You Are
6. Girl Don't Take Your Love From Me
7. Love Is Here And Now You're Gone
8. Ben
9. People Make The World Go 'Round
10. Shoo-Be-Doo-Be-Doo-Da-Day
11. With A Child's Heart
12. Everybody's Somebody's Fool
13. Greatest Show On Earth
14. We've Got A Good Thing Going
15. In Our Small Way
16. All The Things You Are
17. You Can Cry On My Shoulder
18. Maybe Tomorrow
19. I'll Be There
20. Never Can Say Goodbye
21. It's Too Late To Change The Time
22. Dancing Machine

Disc 2

1. When I Come Of Age
2. Dear Michael
3. Music And Me
4. You Are There
5. One Day In Your Life
6. Make Tonight All Mine
7. Love's Gone Bad
8. That's What Love Is Made Of
9. Who's Looking For A Lover
10. Lonely Teardrops
11. Cinderella Stay Awhile
12. We're Almost There
13. Take Me Back
14. Just A Little Bit Of You
15. Melodie
16. I'll Come Home To You
17. If N' I Was God
18. Happy
19. Don't Let It Get You Down
20. Call On Me
21. To Make My Father Proud
22. Farewell My Summer Love

=

Reviews by the delighted customers:

"A bloody good job, Michael - so good that I neglected my web-surfing for a whole day!" (Pete Townshend)
"We love your work!" (N.A.M.B.L.A.)
"Oh my god, what a dreamy collection! Playing the album in my room really gets me in the mood to drive by a school" (Pee Wee Herman)
"Not bad, for a goy! Hearing your voice fetched cute memories of Soon-Yi when she turned eight" (Woody Allen)
"Love the groove, Mike my man! Ah hell, you are too cool for words. Oh, and thanks for your latest advice - teenage booties ARE an inspiration!" (R. Kelly)
"Please, allow me to e-mail a 'kudos' for a nugget of an album, Michael. I know we don't see eye to eye when it comes to gender, but I like the overall theme... And ignore the D.A. - he is such a killjoy" (Roman Polanski)
"A great treat by an immortal icon... Holier than the Holiest... We would be honored to send some boys your way as indication of our gratitude" (from a long note by several anonymous Catholic clergymen)

 

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
I pledge allegiance to the flag,
of the United States of America,
and to the republic for which it stands,
one nation, under God, indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.
=
Those dirty, flag-waving Republicans
often pander without limit
just to get Bush the oil thief
elected again.
Arnold's bold farce election
in California is hated indeed.

 

3rd - David Bourke with:
The President of the United States of America, George Walker Bush, and the Prime Minister of Great Britain, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair
=
An ignorant, brainless, retard mercenary yank buffoon together with his best chum (a little pet poodle) remaining thereafter at his side.

 

Richard Brodie with: [An anagram on a highly constricted letter set: the solfege for 'Land of Hope and Glory']
so fi so la me re do ti do re la
ti do re me la re so so fi me re
so fi so la me re do ti do re la
to do re la re do do ti la ti
me fi so la re so so do ti la so
=
O some fifers do toot to release some real florid mood melodies.
I made adored oratorio solo arise too, till air is filled.
O sated ears!

 

Adrian Hickford with:
Diving by Andrew Motion

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
The raw materials for 641,959,232,274,432 pairs of anagrammed sonnets.

 

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Magic by Shel Silverstein

 

3rd - David A. Green with:

 

David Bourke with:
There is overwhelming evidence that you are a devious pervert, "Judge Manus Boyer told police sergeant James Arthur Marriner as he passed sentence on him in Brisbane District Court. "You realised that The Christian Brethren are innocent and wild-eyed people who lead sheltered and unworldly lives, and you cynically took advantage of their naivety. So although they thought they were helping the police with an undercover investigation into drug dealing, they were really being used to satisfy your vile and peculiar sexual tastes."

Earlier, defence barrister Stephen Kissick had argued that "my client's behaviour might have been rude and disgusting, but wasn't technically criminal. About a year ago, he became involved with members of The Christian Brethren, and they agreed to help him with an undercover drug investigation. Admittedly, his recruiting procedures were unusual, requiring each new recruit to pose naked for identification photos, to fill out detailed questionnaires about their sex lives, and to give him various bodily samples including urine and pubic hair. But these were all consenting adults, and they didn't object, even when he rubbed a special 'antidote' cream into some of the womens' bodies, and asked one woman to masturbate, so that a vaginal swab could be taken when she climaxed. She even agreed to let him video her, because he said he had to prove to his bosses at police headquarters that the swab had been taken correctly. The Christian Brethren lead very quiet lives, and many of them enjoyed the excitement of being asked to drop off special packages for secret agents, and to write messages in invisible ink, because it made them feel important and they thought they were doing some good. So where is the crime here?"

Despite his protestations, Marriner was found guilty of fraud, misappropriation, indecent assault, and false pretences, and was jailed for five years.

(The Australian, 2/10/03. Spotter: Peter Knight)

=

"I believe there is no doubt here that you are indeed a deplorable, devious evil snake", Judge Richard James Grantham told retired sheep farmer David Laurence Brash passing sentence in Brisbane District Court.

"You realised that the subscribers to The Anagrammy Forum are quite simple, naive, impressionable, socially-inadequate, even geeky people, most of whom, although in their thirties and forties, have yet to form a meaningful relationship, and, I see, are sad, baldheaded, and still live with their mother. So, although they believed they were just playing innocent little word-games, ie: by posting various supposedly 'amusing' anagrams over the internet ...oh no, they were really being sucked inside into your deviant, dark, vile, sick, depraved world, where they lost their dignity, self-respect, identities...even a concern for public decency!"

Earlier, Brash's barrister Mey Kraus Q.C. argued that "I admit how my client's, ahem, activities and behaviour may indeed have been in bad taste, but were not, I believe, actually illegal. See, about six or seven years ago, he became involved with the A.A. (Alt.Anagrams) newsgroup which later branched-out into his own website. He set out to puncture the egos of the rich and famous, and expose hypocrisy wherever he chanced across it. His initiation procedures were indeed unusual, requiring each and every new recruit to submit their name, which he just changed into assorted disgusting, crude and embarrassing variations, which he then proceeded to post on the internet alongside an unflattering 'joke' photograph, supposedly of each colleague, but actually taken from the website fugly.net".

Despite his protestation, he was found guilty of libel, slander, and indeed, defamation of character, detained, and sentenced to attend the next Alt.Anagrams get-together in London, to see at first hand the extreme depths to which some of the victims can, even now, sink.

(Tristan da Cunha Weekday Tribune 2/10/03. Spotter: David Bourke)

 

Richard Brodie with:
Two excerpts from The Tempest, anagrammed into a poem with an unusual constraint.

 

Zoran Radisavlevic and Jesse Frankovich with:
[Numerograms. While not actual anagrams, the technique of assigning each letter of the alphabet a numeric value (as below) yields some fascinating results.]

A-1 B-2 C-3 D-4 E-5 F-6 G-7
H-8 I-9 J-10 K-11 L-12 M-13 N-14
O-15 P-16 Q-17 R-18 S-19 T-20 U-21
V-22 W-23 X-24 Y-25 Z-26

[Politics:]

(130) George W. Bush = Washington
(130) George W. Bush = A Republican man.
(130) George W. Bush = I've a meager brain.
(137) Saddam Hussein = Hidden weapons.
(110) Osama Bin Laden = Adolf Hitler
(110) Osama Bin Laden = Taliban hid him.
(45) Al Qaida = Iraq
(133) God Bless America = Let's bomb Iraq.
(122) Bill Clinton = I loved Monica.
(87) Dick Cheney = Has bad heart.
(159) Schwarzenegger = Elect governor.
(139) Rush Limbaugh = I'm a drug abuser.
(157) United States = A superpower.
(131) John F. Kennedy = Assassinated!

[Arts:]

(129) Sir Michael Caine = Hollywood
(131) Michael Richards = Cosmo Kramer!
(84) Caravaggio = A painter
(160) Henri Matisse = I am French painter
(168) Boris Pasternak = Famous writer
(120) Ezra Pound = American poet
(109) Pablo Neruda = A poet, Chilean
(178) Lynyrd Skynyrd = Fine, "Sweet Home Alabama"!
(179) Rolling Stones = Mick Jagger: "I'm a singer!"
(126) New Orleans = A home of jazz
(124) Michael Jackson = Ruined nose.


[Sports:]

(165) Evander Holyfield = I'm not Muhammad Ali
(146) Rocky Marciano = He made knock-out
(125) Tiger Woods = Be a golf player!
(113) Michael Jordan = Kobe Bryant?

[Anagrammatists:]

(146) Meyran Kraus = An anagram master!
(146) Meyran Kraus = Anagrammy site
(113) Mey Kraus = I make anagrams!
(143) Richard Grantham = Anagram expert!
(122) Larry Brash = Anagrammy page
(165) Jesse Frankovich = I am an anagram lover.
(165) Jesse Frankovich = Loves math, too!
(166) Toby Gottfried = Also: 'Wordminer'
(121) Adrian Hickford = I win awards.
(74) Zoran = Larry = Anagrams
(77) Jaybur = Hottie ;)
(59) View = A newbie

[Other numerograms:]

(151) Jesus Christ = A Blessed Savior
(119) Nikola Tesla = A scientist
(129) Wyatt Earp = i.e. Wild West
(64) American = I am USA
(88) California = A traffic jam.
(151) The land of freedom = Nice place to live.

 


THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

This month's challenge was to anagram:
The fortieth anniversary of the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
The fortieth anniversary of the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy =
A jarring shot on that sad, stern Friday invokes fifteen dozen inferential hypotheses.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The fortieth anniversary of the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy =
Jets in on a
Friday in Nov... Eyes
Keen to gaze first-hand...
Rifle-shots
In the head's front
Part...

3rd - Larry Brash with:
The fortieth anniversary of the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy =
Let's join, in steady tears, gaze on and thank this fine Navy hero president for his effort.

David Bourke with:
Shots are in Depository, and then, near grassy zone alternative. (It finished J.F.K. off, then!)

Larry Brash with:
First, a fine leader's death hypnotizes a nation, then stiff, dry Johnson takes over reign.

Richard Brodie with:
Very dazed nation sinks into despair; no joy then, therefore their ensign's at half staff.

frenchgeek with:
JFK is hit. Ends.
Finished on entry.
Tonight, a death paralyzes a nation.
Effort reveres son.

Toby Gottfried with:
Folks never forget the Friday yon.
Then, joint fears and pains seized this nation's heart.

Toby Gottfried with:
Forty years after JFK's finish,
the nation agonizes over that endless pain, not hindered.

Toby Gottfried with:
After thirty-fifth president is dead, a sorry nation agonizes; even Johnson felt shaken.

Richard Grantham with:
Have nasty sorts in the Feds organized the insane jerk off in that infernal depository?

David A. Green with:
Seen having entered plaza at noon, this dirty jerk fires off nifty shot in senator's head.

David A. Green with:
In the end, they say a rotten terrorist agent finished off JFK soon as he's driven in plaza.

Adrian Hickford with:
Lazy Nov. afternoon...
Present gifts, then off!
.
.
.
"Did ya hear that noise, Ja.."
"Shriek!"
.
.
.
Sinister end.

Meyran Kraus with:
The event hands flaky gits reasons to join their zany friends and offer inapt theories.

Paul Pan with:
Eerie President-shooting frenzy and nasty fate vanish, end, halt, or faint JFK's heirs too!

Rick Rothstein with:
Tragedy, zest of a visionless afternoon; infantry-trained sniper, he shot JFK in the head.

View with:
Year after year, his death pains nation, letting dozens of JFK's friends honor this event.


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