JANUARY 2004 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2004


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
International Airports =
Airline transportation.

2nd - Jaybur with:
Legal separations =
Agree on split, alas.

3rd - David Bourke with:
Meal for one ~
for me, alone.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The vocabulary arrangements =
Sent by clever anagram author!

David Bourke with:
Butch lesbian =
A chin stubble.

David Bourke with:
"Quiet, please!" =
Quite asleep.

Larry Brash with:
Iatrogenic condition =
i.e., doctoring in action.

Larry Brash with:
A security service =
Every acute crisis.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Weight loss therapist =
I help with gross state.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Higher educations =
Huge in cost, I heard.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Horrid beast =
It's abhorred.

Toby Gottfried with:
Chicken noodle soup? =
No? Cook up sliced hen.

Richard Grantham with:
A water diviner =
I wanted a river!

Adrian Hickford with:
Cigarettes and cigars =
Gets cancer - it is a drag.

Jaybur with:
An elementary school =
Teaches one normally.

Jaybur with:
Do you think eating fat is risky? =
No, satisfying! Hide your KitKat!

Meyran Kraus with:
Charter flights ~
crash left & right.

Meyran Kraus with:
Duct tapes =
Cut & pasted.

Meyran Kraus with:
The positions of Kama Sutra =
Make this art out of passion.

Paul Lusch with:
Treading on thin ice =
Ethnic denigration.

Paul Lusch with:
Watercolor painting =
Own angelic portrait.

Allan Morley with:
Roman Catholics =
Harm iconoclast.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The poisons =
Sip those? No!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The ape =
A pet, eh?

Hans-Peter Reich with:
A corpse candle =
On sacred place.

Chris Sturdy with:
Corrupt Officials =
Crucial to rip-offs.

sundogg99 with:
Dementia praecox =
Extra peace o' mind.

sundogg99 with:
Septuagenarian =
Guarantees pain.

View with:
The cougar =
Or huge cat.

View with:
Alibi =
I bail.

View with:
The road accident =
Noticed car & death.

View with:
House of entertainment =
Attention! Some fun HERE!


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Peter Jackson, the director of the LOTR series =
Three hits recreate Tolkien's Frodo projects.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
A minuet =
I'm a tune.

3rd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
Animated Motion Pictures =
Put cartoon items in media.

David Bourke with:
Cornelius Crane Chase =
He's crucial on a screen!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Theater auditions =
Read the situation.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Greatest Show on Earth =
What The Three Stooges ran?

Adrian Hickford with:
"Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" =
Read: "Did Replicants choose freedom?"

Adrian Hickford with:
I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here =
Cute, elite, bit eager for my home.

Meyran Kraus with:
The LOTR series by director Peter Jackson =
Hits recreate Tolkien's projects by order.

Meyran Kraus with:
Claude Debussy's 'Violin Sonata in G minor' =
Be a sound so musically divine on a string.

sundogg99 with:
A tale of Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer =
Theme: of runaway redneck boys, all in raft.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Images from the NASA Spirit rover =
Impart great visions of Mars here.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Resolutions =
Onerous list.

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
President Bush's State of the Union Address =
Phrases used had tidbits of utter nonsense.

David Bourke with:
New Hampshire primary election =
Wheel in Americans' prime trophy.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Michael Jackson supporters =
Pop star lie cons them. Such a jerk!

Toby Gottfried with:
US Senator John Edwards =
Howard Dean just snores.

Jaybur with:
"Should auld acquaintance be forgot?" =
Aha! Could quote age-old Burns, in fact!

Meyran Kraus with:
My kiss on a New Year's Eve? =
Women I ask never say "Yes!"

Meyran Kraus with:
Britney Spears weds childhood friend in Vegas =
Wavering, she *did* play his bride for ten seconds...


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Hans-Peter Reich with:
A nudist resort =
Round arse, tits.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The donations of sperm =
Short moan; pint of seed.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The US actor Benjamin Affleck ~
is a bereft man...he can't fuck J-Lo!

David Bourke with:
Donated sperm =
Person met 'Dad'.

Larry Brash with:
Steak and mushroom pie =
Shit's made a moron puke.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A stripping lady =
Sit... pay... lap grind!

Richard Grantham with:
North American Man/Boy Love Association =
Craven abominations chose to lay a minor.

Meyran Kraus with:
The male reproductive system =
Cultivate my sperm dose there.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Kama Sutra positions =
It's an arm I took up the ass.

sundogg99 with:
A raging hard on =
Organ had a ring!

sundogg99 with:
A nocturnal emission =
Minor's lot. A nuisance.


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, Lady with the Lamp =
Helping men who fell: it's rather an angelic duty.

2nd - View with:
Saddam Hussein =
Ass in a mud shed.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
R. 'Dick' Cheney, Vice President of America =
I scheme, trick and deceive for any price.

David Bourke with:
Princess Di ~
inspires CD.

David Bourke with:
Diana, the Princess of Wales ~
is a cow, "Elephant Ears" finds!

David Bourke with:
Edith Giovanna Gassion =
Singing ovations ahead!

Jesse Frankovich with:
President Bush of the United States of America =
Set in capture of the bitter foe, Saddam Hussein.

Jesse Frankovich with:
George Bush and Dick Cheney =
Huge danger is beyond check.

Adrian Hickford with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, Lady with the Lamp =
"Help!" willed the Crimean infantry, "Angel sought!"

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Leonardo da Vinci =
And a divine color...


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Allan Morley with:
The Leaning Tower of Pisa =
A spire of note, with angle.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Death by Chocolate =
Halted by the cocoa.

3rd - View with:
South America =
HOT music area!

David Bourke with:
The English Collective of Prostitutes =
Helpful logistics to on-the-street vice.

Larry Brash with:
Alzheimer's Disease (dementia) =
It seems... ah... I am senile... er... dazed...

Larry Brash with:
Bacterial gastroenteritis =
Rear's alert: Get antibiotics!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Saint Lawrence Hospital ~
trains the one with a scalpel.

Toby Gottfried with:
Chevrolet's Impala =
Love this ample car.

Toby Gottfried with:
Summit of the Americas =
IMF meets CIA to harm us.

Toby Gottfried with:
Department of Agriculture =
Get a true farm product line.

Richard Grantham with:
Becotide asthma inhaler =
Has medicinal to breathe.

Adrian Hickford with:
Richmond Cigarettes =
Most die. Cancer, right?

Adrian Hickford with:
Becotide asthma inhaler =
Eliminated breath chaos.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Nuremberg Trials =
German Hitler brutes.

Allan Morley with:
The British-American Tobacco Company =
An aim to promote cancers by chic habit.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The Draconian laws =
Charlatans die now!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Homo Neanderthalensis =
Short, dense man in a hole.

Hugh Reid with:
Richmond Cigarettes =
Grim necrotic deaths.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights =
Had novel theories: fight unnatural racism!


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don't. =
Ho ho! The sharp-eyed nerd! How wonderful not to be trained to speak in 1's and 0's.

2nd - David Bourke with:
The National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors, Incorporated =
A resource to condition snarling Fido to be nice to those paranoid cats.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
"Mona Lisa Smile", the Columbia Pictures production of a Mike Newell film, starring Julia Roberts ('Katherine Watson').=
Correct me if I'm wrong, but darn it, Julia's smile in this feature almost looks like it carries one whole, plump banana!

Toby Gottfried with:
Clark, Dean, Edwards, Gephardt, Kerry, Kucinich, Lieberman, Braun, & Sharpton =
Hark! Nine Democrats dicker, and then parry real dark Republican: G.W. Bush.

David Bourke with:
The International Union of Bricklayers and Allied Craftworkers =
Find crack in rank latrine wall? So? No reason to fear, they rebuild it!

David Bourke with:
The Federation of Licensed Victuallers Associations =
Alcoholics urinate/defecate inside its taverns. (Fools!)

David Bourke with:
The Hutton Report into the death of the UN weapons expert Doctor David Kelly =
Opened to prove whether Teflon Tony did sex-up attack "truth", or had to lie, then?

Richard Brodie with:
A handsome guy lays that south-of-the-border brown-skinned chick, Jennifer Lopez. =
Oh, this grim dishonor! Ben penetrates her, but now dazed, sulky, he can only jack off.

Richard Grantham with:
STUPID WHITE MEN... And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! =
The fat Moore denies that you can trust his President or the Fox News.

Jesse Frankovich with:
STUPID WHITE MEN... And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! =
Hefty author ached to examine rotten sins of the worst US President.

David A. Green with:
The Arthur Koestler Chair in Parapsychology at the University of Edinburgh =
Brainy tutor teaching ESP and other very peculiar, thoroughly freakish shit.

David A. Green with:
The International Congress of Mathematicians at Berkeley =
Concentrates on anything like
(a) e > (a+i)+[i]
(b) Fermat's last theorem

David A. Green with:
xn + yn = zn has no whole number solutions for n greater than two =
An answer to no-fun last theorem (xn + yn = zn) brought Wiles honor.

David A. Green with:
President of the Wolverhampton Circle of Magicians =
Commences to saw the poor captive girlfriend in half!

Adrian Hickford with:
'Sir Isaac Newton's Philosophy Explain'd for the Use of Ladies' by Francesco Algarotti =
Wanted: the hypothesis and scientifically algebraic proof, for poor anxious lasses

Jaybur with:
"Marriage is a wonderful invention, but then again so is a bicycle repair kit." The comedian Billy Connolly =
I'm introducing the wife: no oil painting, no cook, is hardly a brilliant cleaner, but a necessary evil. Maybe.


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with: [A poem by George Crabbe (17541832)]
The Marriage

The ring, so worn as you behold,
So thin, so pale, is yet of gold:
The passion such it was to prove--
Worn with life's care, love yet was love.

=

Suppose it's Over

Though it was brilliant, yet it's tarnished now,
The wooing's gone, also the former vow.
A horoscope says "Away he'll flee."
D. I. V. O. R. C. E.

 

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Top Ten Ways I, Howard Dean, Can Turn Things Around

10. "Switch to decaf"
9. "Unveil new slogan: 'Vote for Dean and get one dollar off your next purchase at Blimpie'"
8. "Marry Rachel on final episode of 'Friends'"
7. "Don't change a thing -- it's going great"
6. "Show a little more skin"
5. "Go on 'American Idol' and give 'em a taste of these pipes"
4. "Start working out and speaking with Austrian accent"
3. "I can't give specifics yet, but it involves Ted Danson"
2. "Fire the staffer who suggested we do this lousy Top Ten list instead of actually campaigning"
1. "Oh, I don't know -- maybe fewer crazy, redfaced rants"

(The list is borrowed from the CBS Late Show with David Letterman)

=

Top Ten Tactics of Snagging Away G.W.'s Presidency

10. Lure him out of the Oval Office with a picnic basket
9. Pay off his tutor and get G.W. to enunciate 'poor' with a silent 'r'
8. Add Alec Baldwin to the White House staff
7. Put a pretzel in his snack kit
6. Tell him a nationwide campaign includes the fifty-first state of Rwanda
5. Ban every voter whose lingo contains 'Howdy'
4. Add an annexe to Rules of Governmental Positions, reasserting a fifth-grade education as mandatory
3. Add "no drunk drivers" to above rules
2. End all wars and dry most oil wells

And the No. One Tactic is:

1. Inform George that words might get even bigger in second-term speeches!

 

3rd - David A. Green with:
The Operation by Danielle Willis

 

Paul Pan with:
"Shakira's music has a personal stamp that doesn't look like anyone else's and no one can sing or dance like her, at whatever age, with such an innocent sensuality, one that seems to be of her own invention." Gabriel Garcia Marquez
=
The eminent Nobel laureate geezer adores this cacophonous (no vocal talent) Asian-Latina nymph's crooning. Her fake tits, enormous thighs, and screwable ass awe the kinky novelist he-man and awaken soaring quasi-erections.

 

Alan Yoshioka with:
The Chicago Manual of Style, Fifteenth Edition, 5.197.

"Oh" and "O." The interjection oh takes the place of other interjections to express an emotion such as pain {Ow!}, surprise {What!}, wonder {Strange!}, or aversion {Ugh!}. It is lowercase if it doesn't start the sentence, and it is typically followed by a comma {Oh, why did I have to ask?} {The scenery is so beautiful, but, oh, I can't describe it!}. The vocative O, a form of classically stylized direct address, is always capitalized and is typically unpunctuated {O Jerusalem!}. It most often appears in poetry. See 7.47.

=

O tempora, O mores!

O peerless anagrammatists, help! I hate to piddle on your parades when you post otherwise catchy witticisms using O as if it were essentially identical to Oh.

Once upon a time (specifically, 5/7/1974), teachers explained that the first fits best with a noun, often if abstract or personified {civility, cheer, gadfly, Raj, Ark}.

Why, it's a puzzle, I freely concede, to select 7 vowels and consonants divided such that both O and H remain at the end instead of just O. A delicate task it is! But, hey, can I cajole you to constrain yourselves?

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Tarzan's Cheetah's Life As A Retired Movie Star

 

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A Jonathan Swift poem, which can be presented as a riddle when its title is obscured, anagrammed (with a twist) into another riddle poem whose subject is hidden.

 

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
A simultaneous anagram and approximate translation of J'allais par des chemins perfides by Paul Verlaine.

 

Jesse Frankovich with:
[A brief tale of the American involvement in Iraq, composed of ten separate anagrams of one source: the first line of the post-9/11 US 'theme song'...]

"God Bless America, Land That I Love" =

Coveting all the oil Saddam bears
As certain headmost global devil.

Combat against evil: heads rolled --
Airmen acts level Baghdad to soil.

Go in, collar the evil beast Saddam!
(Saddam can be hostile to villager).

Inevitable hero calls, "Got Saddam!"
Later, shove Saddam into a big cell.

Evil saga has come to end, dirtball!
... Celebrate having Saddam's oil lot!

 


THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

This month's Challenge was to create anagrams of New Year's Resolutions or a slight variation of that phrase.

1st - Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolution =
Only we aren't serious!

2nd - Alan Yoshioka with:
New Year's Resolutions ~
are surely not wise, son.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
New Year's Resolutions ~
to lessen your swearin'.

Larry Brash with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Note: answer seriously.

Larry Brash with:
New Year's Resolutions =
One eats wisely or runs.

Richard Brodie with:
New Year's Resolutions =
So answer, you listener:

Richard Brodie with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Senile trousers? No way!

Richard Brodie with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Own reality's neuroses.

Richard Brodie with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Seriously, no new tears.

Richard Brodie with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Less weary in our tones.

Richard Brodie with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Arise sweetly, non sour.

Richard Brodie with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Use no sorry, stale wine.

Jesse Frankovich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Yes, swear to no-sin rule.

Jesse Frankovich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Swore on any rules I set.

Jesse Frankovich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Eat less now?! Sure irony!

Jesse Frankovich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Worry set on lean issue.

Jesse Frankovich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Yes, eat-rule is sworn on.

Jesse Frankovich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Use not A.L. Syne worries.

Jesse Frankovich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
A.L. Syne's worse routine.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A New Year's Resolution =
Won't use or realise any.

Jesse Frankovich with:
My New Year's Resolution =
Nearly resist you women!

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
As we're only sure to sin.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
O say, new rules in store.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
O yes, our new list nears.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
See result now as irony.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Inane, useless to worry.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Anyone's sure worst lie.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Worse on saintly reuse.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Rely on us - we sin as rote.

Toby Gottfried with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Rest on our senile ways.

Toby Gottfried with:
A New Year's Resolution =
I answer 'no' to easy rule.

Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Now seriously earnest?!

Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Entire rules soon sway.

Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolutions =
(yawn) Ensure I root less. :)

Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Reason surely not wise.

Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Your list ensnares woe.

Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolutions =
O no, we resist any rules!

Richard Grantham with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Now one useless rarity.

Adrian Hickford with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Write no essay on 'Rules'.

Allan Morley with:
New Year's Resolutions =
(1) Eat soy, (2) Run, or (3) Less wine.

Allan Morley with:
New Year's Resolution =
One rarely uses it now.

Paul Pan with:
New Year's Resolutions =
I swear to re-use nylons!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
It's one elusory answer.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Now tease in rosy rules.

Hugh Reid with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Seriously now, Earnest.

Hugh Reid with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Easy-to-use worn liners.

Hugh Reid with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Weary Lessons Routine.

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
O! One swears tiny rules.

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Notion? Yes, swear rules.

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
O! So I renew nasty rules?

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Renew rules soon... Say it!

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
New ones arise... Truly so!

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Solitary ones renew us.

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Swore itsy, unreal ones.

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolutions =
O! So swear ninety rules?

Rick Rothstein with:
New Year's Resolution =
Routinely swears one.

Rozrat with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Lost... in weary neuroses...

Rozrat with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Any less-worse routine?

Rozrat with:
New Year's Resolutions =
...not use nosier lawyers.

Rozrat with:
New Year's Resolutions =
To raise non-surly ewes.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Your real senses - TO WIN!

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Now? I truly see reasons!

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
To use only ire answers.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Wooers (easily) - STUNNER!

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Luster is YES & one NO - war.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
NO war, NO ruse... YES, let's, I!

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Surely one wrote "IN ASS".

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Or now use entirely ass.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
I want you, so lessen err.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Litany, owe or sureness?

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Surely, I swear (not ones).

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
SOS! Ensure reality NOW!

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Eyesore? No war, lust & sin!

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
To essay our new line, Sr.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
One is swears - only true.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Surely, I swear on notes.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Losers yearn & use it now.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
New lousy reassertion.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Sow yes/no neutraliser.

View with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Iron rules? Yes, no sweat!

View with:
My New Years Resolution =
I try easy rules - no women.

View with:
My New Years Resolution =
Money rules, so I try anew.

View with:
My New Years Resolution =
Women,sensuality... or rye.

Alan Yoshioka with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Only as we err--it's no use!

Alan Yoshioka with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Renew ours, lose sanity.

Alan Yoshioka with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Lots? Yours were insane!

Alan Yoshioka with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Sure! (Not nearly so wise.)

Alan Yoshioka with:
New Year's Resolutions =
Only wise reasons--true!

Alan Yoshioka with:
New Year's Resolutions =
We rely on serious tans!


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