Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2004


1st - David Bourke with:
The cosmetic dental practitioner =
I implant nice teeth at record cost.

eq.2nd - Richard Grantham with:
"The best thing since sliced bread" =
Bad cliche needs better insights.

eq.2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
No doubt =
Bound to.

David Bourke with:
Friend's value =
"Lend us a fiver!"

Larry Brash with:
Making the Sign of the Cross =
Confess sin to get high mark.

Tony Crafter with:
Hairy chests =
Itchy rashes.

Tony Crafter with:
Sixteen going on seventeen =
One gets evening extension.

Tony Crafter with:
I am not worthy =
What moronity!

Tony Crafter with:
The infinite mystery of the universe =
No myth, yet I refute it never finishes.

Jesse Frankovich with:
American spies =
Men CIA praises.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A cloned man =
No camel DNA.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The strategist =
Hits set target.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A United States airport =
It's a departure station.

Toby Gottfried with:
Here today, gone tomorrow =
O, how to get any? Order more!

Adrian Hickford with:
Nuclear devices ~
can reduce lives.

Adrian Hickford with:
Astronomical Observations =
Action's above in Solar storm.

Jaybur with:
Bridge designer =
Need big girders?

Jaybur with:
The scholarly gentleman ~
learns to challenge myth.

Jaybur with:
See a haggler at ~
the garage sale.

Jaybur with:
Hospital treatment? =
The patient's mortal.

Jaybur with:
Old poets ~
plot odes.

Jimmy with:
Weather alert =
Real wet earth.

Jimmy with:
Sales talk =
A sell task.

Jimmy with:
Mail order bride =
Married role bid.

Jimmy with:
Weather forecast =
Case of "rather wet"!

Meyran Kraus with:
Naysayer =
Nary a "yes".

Matthew O'Dempsey with:
Inarticulate =
Irate lunatic.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The casino clubs =
But I chance loss.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
A convertible =
Novel car, I bet.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Astronomical Observations =
Comet vision, also a star born...

Rick Rothstein with:
A scholar and gentleman =
Romance... and he's gallant.

Rick Rothstein with:
Astronomical Observations =
A star screams onto oblivion.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Tiredness can kill - take a break =
Let kid eat a Snickers bar 'n' leak.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Indicators =
Acid or isn't.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Torrential downpours =
Lot o' wet raindrops run.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Being paralysed with fear =
Gather a fly in a spider web.

Christopher Sturdy with:
A college kid =
I do call geek.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Elastic =
Scale it.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Age before beauty =
Gee, babe. After you.

Christopher Sturdy with:
A hot ~

Christopher Sturdy with:
Stained glass window =
Saints & angels did wow.

View with:
Any thug =


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The movie 'Apocalypse Now' =
How Coppola eyes Vietnam.

2nd - Jaybur with:
The singer Luciano Pavarotti =
I have operatic lungs to train!

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Comedian Rodney Dangerfield =
Famed legend died in coronary.

David Bourke with:
'The Goldfish Bowl: Married to the Prime Minister' =
Might Blair's wife help third term, or on to demise?

David Bourke with:
"I'm So Bored With The USA" =
Bush, too. (A sheer dimwit!)

Larry Brash with:
"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" =
I think they do LSD music. (Yawn.)

Tony Crafter with:
Masses join ~
jam session.

Tony Crafter with:
'Love Is Strange' =
Versatile song.

Tony Crafter with:
Ragtime =
I'm great!

Tony Crafter with:
'Someone Saved My Life Tonight' =
O my! Eve of Elton missing death.

Chris Doyle with:
Shaw's "Pygmalion" =
Woman's play. (Sigh.)

Dan Fortier with:

Jesse Frankovich with:
Famous actor Christopher Reeve =
Character's oft movie superhero.

Toby Gottfried with:
Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne =
Journey ends by deadline; thus, rave with glory!

Jaybur with:
The Superman actor Christopher Reeve =
Much respect, then tears over a hero, RIP.

Jaybur with:
Inspector Clouseau: Peter Sellers =
Enter clueless cop: it's a super role.

Jaybur with:
Constable's masterpiece, 'The Hay Wain' =
He is best: he can paint cart, awesomely!

Jimmy with:
Bob Dylan's autobiography =
Glorious path by a band boy!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Inspector Maigret =
Top in great crimes.

Christopher Sturdy with:
David Beckham's autobiography =
Add my crap, thus I have a big book.

View with:
The famous American actor Charlie Chaplin =
On air, the small chap of true archaic cinema.


1st - Toby Gottfried with:
November second, two thousand four =
And we counted Morons-for-Bush vote.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The elections in November, Two Thousand Four =
Dolt runs the nation if we vote 'Bush' once more.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Human cloning debate is re-ignited =
I match DNA, engineering its double.

David Bourke with:
Catheter ablation surgery =
Tony Blair gets a heart cure.

David Bourke with:
The Israeli-Palestinian conflicts =
It's anarchist, still no peace in life.

Tony Crafter with:
Lynda Lee-Potter dies =
Personality deleted.

Joe Fathallah with:
American President George Walker Bush =
The rogue, warring dick resembles an ape.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Vice-presidential debate =
Spread inevitable deceit.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Proud to be an American =
I race to pound Arab men!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Actor Christopher Reeve is dead =
Tore his shirt -- covered a red cape!

Scott Gardner with:
The New Yorkers =
Kerry won these.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Presidential Debate =
Deep, bitter hate (and lies).

Adrian Hickford with:
Cancer diseases =
Cases increased.

Jaybur with:
Senator Kerry looks like a dog about to be washed =
Oh, okay, so we'd better look out... as leader's barking.

Jaybur with:
Election campaigns =
Politics can age men!

Jimmy with:
Prince Harry cheats at Eton? =
Yes, inapt throne character!!

Meyran Kraus with:
US actor Christopher Reeve dies of heart failure =
Cardiac arrest thieves the life of our Superhero.

Meyran Kraus with:
Christopher Reeve is dead =
This caped hero is revered.

Rick Rothstein with:
A Vice Presidential Debate ~
is repetitive and a debacle.

Rick Rothstein with:
Today's Americans ~
say, "I am not scared!"

Rick Rothstein with:
Campaign advertisement =
Negative man-made script.

Chris Schumacher with:
The Two Thousand and Four Presidential Debates =
Independent adults (or others) do await Bush fate.

Christopher Sturdy with:
United States foreign policy =
Ideal: trying to inspect US foe.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Bill Clinton, the former president of the USA =
On reflection, I'd still prefer the man to Bush!

2nd - David Bourke with:
The singer Tina Turner =
Rather uninteresting.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Singer Marie Osmond ~
is a 'designer-Mormon'.

David Bourke with:
The American president =
Pinhead. A merest cretin.

Tony Crafter with:
David Herbert Lawrence =
Thin, bearded, raw, clever.

Joe Fathallah with:
Jane Hutt =
The junta.

Dan Fortier with:
Rodney Dangerfield =
Loner defying dread.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Democratic Presidential Nominee John Kerry =
Majority reckon him pointed, learned, sincere.

Toby Gottfried with:
Australian PM John Howard ~
had plan to harm us: join war.

Jaybur with:
The late actress Marilyn Monroe =
It's really *me*, or 'Norma', that scene.

Jaybur with:
Monsieur A. G. Citroen =
Motorcar is genuine.

nedesto with:
President Bush =
Shrub isn't deep.

Rick Rothstein with:
Yasser Mohammed Abed Ar'ouf Arafat, ~
"My dreams are of a famous Arab, death."

Christopher Sturdy with:
The 'Russian' linesman, Tofik Bahramov =
Nan loves this hairiest man from Baku.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Microsoft Internet Explorer =
Expect online terrors from it.

2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The Anagrammy Award Competition =
I wait to compare Grantham and Mey.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
'Mein Kampf''s political and social theories =
Adolf Hitler's policies: maniac makes point.

David Bourke with:
The Camp David U.S. Presidential retreat =
Relieved that stupid American departs!

Tony Crafter with:
Lourdes, France =
No false cure, Dr.

Tony Crafter with:
'NIMBY' takes acronym and ~
means Not In My Back Yard.

Dan Fortier with:
Typhoon Tokage =
Tokyo path gone.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The trade bases are on ~
The Eastern Seaboard.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Houses of Parliament =
Home to Faustian helpers.

Adrian Hickford with:
The Campaign for Plain English =
Fathering logical penmanship.

Jaybur with:
The Aussies =
Heat issues?

Matthew O'Dempsey with:
Ellis Island, New York =
World keenly sails in.

Matjaz Pihler with:
Toys'R'us ~
So TRY us!

Rick Rothstein with:
The Republican Administration =
Aim, sir? To hit 'n' capture Bin Laden!

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Campaign for Plain English =
Poet mangling a phrase? I flinch!


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mad Hatter's question to Alice: "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" =
Ah, I got it! I created an answer: "It seems the two have inky-dark quills!"

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The number Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter =
Archimedes' correct claim, "In brief, 'three' is off. I compute it true to Athene."

eq.3rd - Jaybur with:
"All I want is a room somewhere
Far away from the cold night air" =
We mean fair lady's emotional wish for warmth... large chair too.

eq.3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Yasser Arafat flown to Hopital d'Instruction des Armees de Percy in France. =
A fancy theory is... Palestinians' world-famous President treated for cancer.

David Bourke with:
George Walker "Dubya" Bush, the President of the United States of America =
Absolute defeat's coming? Great! Auf wiedersehen, butthead! (PS: "Hi!" to Kerry!)

Larry Brash with:
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more =
The idea can be to murder some French or... no encore!

Jesse Frankovich with:
"Our enemies... never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." =
Wow. What a moron. 'Dubya' ever seen incorporating stupendous oral ineptitude here. Unthrone monkey!

Meyran Kraus with:
The General Elections on November, Two Thousand Four =
All of the voters in the US need to renounce a moron - G.W.B.

Matthew O'Dempsey with:
Iraq explosives missing from military zone, says UN watchdog =
Zarqawi plans master suicide missions for thy gloomy vexing.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Nikolai Andreevich Rimsky-Korsakov's piano tune 'The Flight of the Bumblebee' =
Lovely high speed hum (best of an OK bunch). Sir, I leave no time for kit kat in break!


This month's challenge was to anagrammatically answer the question,
"Who, you may ask, will be the next American President?"

1st - Richard Grantham with:
I expect Dubya has won: a new term is more than likely.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Actually, we semi-want Kerry. He isn't a dim xenophobe.

3rd - Allan Morley with:
A Republican who likes money and the extremist way.

David Bourke with:
Bush? Kerry? Andy Williams? The tea woman? One, I expect!

David Bourke with:
Well, Kerry, I expect! I mean, not... oh whatsisname... Dubya?

David Bourke with:
"Another sexed-up betrayal with me?" - Monica Lewinsky

Larry Brash with:
Kerry? You expect him to win? What a sensible lead man!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Um... Kerry has won many a debate, so I expect he'll win it.

Jesse Frankovich with:
My call? Either. Yet I do know Bush was an extreme pain.

Jesse Frankovich with:
We nominate Bush and Kerry, yet each will impose tax.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Action will yet make the damn Bush years expire now.

Scott Gardner with:
Why, they nominated some warlike Texas Republican!

Toby Gottfried with:
Ahem! Exit Bush. Kerry? No way! We admit: Clinton. Please?

Toby Gottfried with:
Exit Bush. How may Kerry please me ? I wanted a Clinton.

Toby Gottfried with:
Many expect a small Kerry win, but, wait, he needs Ohio.

Toby Gottfried with:
Hey! One (the dimwit Texas Republican) only makes war!

David A. Green with:
Balls! An inexpert Democrat may win White House key.

Adrian Hickford with:
Bush: "I mean, I expect Kerry to win all the way, and some."

Adrian Hickford with:
"Extremely tricky... White House pawn, Osama bin Laden?"

Adrian Hickford with:
"Bush ain't exactly ideal, man. We women hope it's Kerry."

Adrian Hickford with:
Weepy, welcome
Tony Blair and
his next master.

Jaybur with:
So, nation: want a chimp-eyed, extremely warlike Bush?

Jaybur with:
Bush explains: let ME take on terra my way, in cowhide.

Jaybur with:
Some here, think Texan is top: Dubya may well win race.

Meyran Kraus with:
While my camp is the sane 'Kerry', I would bet on a Texan...

Meyran Kraus with:
Ah, 'Dismal' Bush? 'Yawn' Kerry?... I expect no win to elate me!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
O, woe is me! Extinct Ralph Nader a key: may let Bush win!

Matthew O'Dempsey with:
Why Kerry wins: U.S. Election made into alphabet exam.

Paul Pan with:
Moore's "stupid white men" elect a lax whey-brain Yank.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Yankee shows me Mr. Idiot, wealthy Texan Republican.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Mad Bush?
Tip: Tie!
(We'll see an income tax anyhow!)

Rick Rothstein with:
Kerry claimed, "No new taxes!" Bush won't! Ahem, a lie. Pity...

Rick Rothstein with:
I eye the wise tax 'n' spend liberal, not a rummy whacko.

Christopher Sturdy with:
An adult (i.e. Kerry!) We hope we can listen to him by Xmas.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Many a dire 'toxic' lawyer's keen to help Bush team win.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Dubya team hires 'toxic' lawyers keen to help man win.

View with:
Dry up! Anyhow, the next one will be America's mistake.


1st - Jaybur with:
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender says, "But you're a duck."

"Yep, that is very true," says the duck.

"And you talk, too!" exclaims the bartender.

"Indeed I do," says the duck, "I'd like a large beer, and one of your finest sandwiches."

"Certainly," says the bartender, "it's just we don't get to see too many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around these parts?"

"I'm working for a builder in this area," replies the duck.

So then the duck has his beer and sandwich, pays up and leaves.

One day, the ringleader of a circus comes into the pub, and the bartender tells him about his clever friend, the talking duck.

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "ask him to come over and see me."

The next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, you're in luck. I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "where?"

"At the circus," says the bartender.

"The circus?"

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"That place with all those animals? With the great big tent?"

"Yes, that's right," says the bartender.

The duck looks confused.

"So what do they want with a plasterer?"


This duck walks into a crowded city pub and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says "No, sir." The duck says, "Cheers!" and leaves.

The next day the duck is back in the pub. He says, "I'm curious. Are you certain you don't have any fruit left? Such as juicy little grapes, by any chance?" The bartender says no, and the duck goes away.

Two days later, the duck's back. He walks up to the bar, and sees the bartender. "Hello, I'm here again, bartender! Might you have some nice fresh grapes to cheer me up this evening?"

This irritates the bartender, Harry, who's extremely tired and wound up, and he loses his composure at this juncture. He starts to twitch: he's boiling mad. He screams at the duck, "Listen to me, you wretched, scrawny little bird! You heard me! I told you no, I didn't, and if you keep asking me, I will nail both your thick, webbed feet to the floor, OK?"

The duck seems a little startled at his reaction and hurries away.

Despite this, the duck returns a day later. He walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Got any nails?"

The bartender replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"


2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Seven Ages of Woman


3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Statue of Liberty Inscription:

...Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me: I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Emma Lazarus


Michael Moore's pledge:

Voting George Bush is to hammer home the Final Nail in the Coffin of Freedom.
It's easy to be deterred but send us useless, lazy people to surrender the settee; to do their supreme duty.

Destroy terrorism my way or the US may die.


David Bourke with:
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, the Conservative Member of Parliament for Henley-On-Thames, and the editor of The Spectator magazine =
Has he no shame? After Mr Bigley's fate (death), the comment fat toff expressed over Liverpool jeopardized career ambition. (No Lennon fan, then!)


CP with:
Can there really be an above average chance for John Kerry to win the election in early November for the presidency of the United States? =
Bet the navy hero nominee vet bloke has January Eighteen preference over the sly Crawford teetotaller's incoherency and fabrication.


Tony Crafter with:
'Thank you for the music, the songs they're singing,
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing;
Who could live without it, I ask in all honesty,
What would life be,
Without a song or a dance where are we?
So I say, thank you for the music,
For giving it to me.'
Chic Abba totty Agnetha Faltskog, The Girl With Golden Hair, enjoying her work as she eulogises over music, intertwining it with thoughts of youth.
And now? Total ennui. Kinkily reclusive, she wryly shies away from the hoodoo of untrue fame.


Toby Gottfried with:
"Gosh, I just don't think I ever said
I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden.
It's kind of one of those exaggerations.
... We're using every asset at our disposal
to get Osama bin Laden."
So 'into' debates against John Kerry,
did George Bush lie about some words
spoken earlier, wanting to get our attention
to a Mideast invasion of
Saddam "Axis-of-Evil" Hussein?



1st - Richard Brodie with:
Shakespeare's 17th sonnet anagrammed five different ways, with an additional constraint


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Shakespeare's 76th sonnet anagrammed into a paraphrase (up to a point), its theme being the Baconian controversy


3rd - Tony Crafter with:
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam;
And loud was his mirth,
For he knew that on Earth,
There were only two balls and he had 'em!
Wicked madam, aware of God's plan,
Determinedly takes him in hand;
Hey, why aim to enthral?
When a hand round these balls,
Gets her total control of her man!


David Bourke with:
Flash! Ah! Saviour of the universe!


Tony Crafter with:
Over-tens = Ever snot
Over-eighteens = See voting here
Over-twenties = It renews vote
Over-thirties = I revise troth
Over-forties = Or ever so fit
Over-fifties = If ever so fit
Over-sixties = Sex? It is over
Over-seventies = I've severe snot
Over-eighties = Give theories
Over-nineties = I senior event
Over-hundreds = Shroud venders


Ernesto Guiraldes with:
There is nothing so dangerous =
as the gun-endorsing hero is to
the nation herds' rousing egos.


Hans-Peter Reich with:
Under-Tens = Need turns.
Under-eighteens = Enduring seethe.
Under-twenties = Weird, nuts teen!
Under-thirties = Intrusted heir.
Under-forties = So true friend.
Under-fifties = Desire: Fit & Fun.
Under-sixties = It's ruined sex.
Under-seventies = Ends true envies.
Under-eighties = Urge in the side.
Under-nineties = Need urine tins.
Under-hundreds = Shudder. End. Urn.


Virge with:
When the limerick's too easy to do:
Anagrammy's Awards -- they're for you.
The shrewd sods often say,
"Try, howe'er you may,
A limerick anagram too."



1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A woman having triplets =
Won't ma split her vagina?

2nd - View with:
The beach for nudists =
Bunches of red tits, ah?

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Self gratification =
Fisting of clit-area.

David Bourke with:
Florida elections =
Consider fellatio?

David Bourke with:
"Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye =
I may get instant legover!

Tony Crafter with:
Explain orgasmic shouts =
Homosexuals practising.

Tony Crafter with:
Observe the law of gravity =
Bravo! Feel tits grow heavy.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Sleeping around =
Pleasuring done!

Meyran Kraus with:
Stuffed bras =
Duff breasts.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The beach for nudists =
Fat sob hides her cunt.

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