Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2005
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A nasty derailment ~
meant train delays.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Life's too short =
Foolish to rest?
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Signboard =
Boring ads.
aussie battler with:
Nightmarish =
Harm in sight.
aussie battler with:
Moorlands ~
on old Mars??
aussie battler with:
Bemoaning =
No beaming.
aussie battler with:
Matriculate =
Actual merit.
aussie battler with:
USA English ~
languishes.
aussie battler with:
Rabbinical ‡
A crab blini.
aussie battler with:
Afterpains =
Pants afire!
aussie battler with:
Satisfying =
Fit sayings.
aussie battler with:
disobedient ~
Noddies bite!
aussie battler with:
Our team creamed ‡
A dream come true.
David Bourke with:
Subliminal media advertising =
Ad ritual: Invisible mindgames.
Tony Crafter with:
Family doctor =
Daily comfort.
Tony Crafter with:
Voyeuristic =
It's your vice.
Tony Crafter with:
Television ads ~
do invite sales.
Tony Crafter with:
A rat-catcher =
Charter a cat!
Tony Crafter with:
The orphan envisages ~
his parents have gone
Ellie Dent with:
Grief in my soul ~
for mine is ugly.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The profession of criminal justice =
Prisoners I cuff come into the jails.
Toby Gottfried with:
Elementary school =
Hey, come learn lots!
Adrian Hickford with:
A mind is a terrible thing to waste =
I'm letting a brain die - that's worse!
Meyran Kraus with:
On the Ark =
Noah-Trek!
Mathew O'Dempsey with:
Clean teeth dream =
Dental care theme.
Rosie Perera with:
Furious lady rattles away: ~
"It's always your fault, dear!"
Rosie Perera with:
A mind is a terrible thing to waste =
I learn to digest brains with meat.
Rosie Perera with:
Wedding ceremony =
Receded in my gown.
Rosie Perera with:
U.S. militancy =
Masculinity.
Rosie Perera with:
The plastic surgeons ~
cut noses, gather lips.
Rosie Perera with:
Work out at the gym =
Get a worthy tum, OK?
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Monkey business =
Seems noisy bunk.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Eavesdropping =
Depraving pose.
Rick Rothstein with:
Violent behavior =
Naive, evil or both.
Rick Rothstein with:
Art & Biology =
Obligatory.
Christopher Sturdy with:
The contraindication =
"Can I do it then or can't I?"
View with:
Carte blanche =
Cancel the bar.
1st - David Bourke with:
The American singer Sheryl Crow =
Why Lance Armstrong is cheerier
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
"Shaken, not stirred" =
The star's one drink.
3rd - View with:
'...and they lived happily ever after' =
Delivered that very happy finale
aussie battler with:
And God Created Woman ~
and crowd note damage!
aussie battler with:
Stallone as 'Rocky' ~
can sell a K.O. story.
aussie battler with:
'War and Peace' by Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy ~
is a nice black two-ply novel - heavy to read.
Larry Brash with:
English film director, Alfred Hitchcock =
The rich Lord of crime flicks can delight.
Tony Crafter with:
Lady Chatterley's Lover is a renowned ~
D.H. Lawrence novel. Style is rare today.
Ellie Dent with:
The tragedians ~
and their stage.
Toby Gottfried with:
The Towering Inferno =
Won't ignore fire, then.
David A. Green with:
'The Adventures of Pinocchio' by Carlo Collodi =
Catch nose inch out if poor carved boy lied. LOL!
Adrian Hickford with:
Renault's World Champion, Fernando Alonso =
Spaniard handles control, won Formula One!
Meyran Kraus with:
The Sidney Lumet film 'Twelve Angry Men' =
Eleven will deny my argument fits them.
Rosie Perera with:
"March of the Penguins" =
Charming feet push on.
Rosie Perera with:
Megabucks Lottery =
Lucky bettors' game.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Bram Stoker's "Dracula" =
Bat rules, drama rocks!
Christopher Sturdy with:
When The Saints Go Marching In =
Christ went on high; I sang amen.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Britain's 'New Labour' Government =
Blair's vow? Reign on at Number Ten!
2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The New Orleans disaster =
Water rose in these lands.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
New Orleans ‡
No real news.
David Bourke with:
New Orleans is evacuated =
I encountered waves, alas.
David Bourke with:
Mark and Diane Thatcher to get divorced =
Thieving crook and dream tart detached.
David Bourke with:
President George W. Bush visits Louisiana =
Brainless pious idiot guessing "Whatever!"
David Bourke with:
Simon Wiesenthal, rest in peace . . . =
Help! Anti-Semites now increase!
David Bourke with:
The acting FEMA director Robert David Paulison =
"Let budget drop? Horrific American devastation."
Tony Crafter with:
The 'Lennon' musical is to close =
Ouch! One can tell it's no 'Les Mis'!
Tony Crafter with:
After Katrina, comes ~
stark menace of Rita
Ellie Dent with:
President Bush in Louisiana =
So, his pain, is it unendurable?
Scott Gardiner with:
Undersecretary Michael Dewayne Brown =
Watched my career ruined by New Orleans.
Toby Gottfried with:
House Majority leader Tom Delay was indicted =
"Do a crime, do the time" -- duly send away to jailers.
Meyran Kraus with:
The City of New Orleans =
Fine weather? No, costly.
Meyran Kraus with:
FEMA director Michael D. Brown resigns =
Critics from New Orleans badgered him.
Meyran Kraus with:
Michael Brown resigns as FEMA's director =
Critics badger him for a New Orleans mess.
Meyran Kraus with:
A levee breaks =
Leak bereaves.
Patricia Leclerc with:
President Bush in Louisiana =
In ruins. (P.S.: He is unable to aid.)
Rosie Perera with:
The FEMA director Mike Brown resigned today =
"We hid rotted bodies from Katrina emergency."
Rosie Perera with:
Afghan election ‡
Not a life-change.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Education, Education, Education =
a cute idea, idiot - count on a dunce.
View with:
The aftermath of Katrina =
Take that hat off, mariner!
1st - Ellie Dent with:
His Royal Highness, Charles, Prince of Wales =
See which rich English Royal son flaps ears!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mister Hyde =
Yes, I'm the Dr.!
3rd - View with:
The Gambino family =
Might be Mafia only.
David Bourke with:
Michael Goodall Watson =
A well-mad hooligan Scot.
Tony Crafter with:
Retif de la Bretonne =
Feet-biter and loner.
Ellie Dent with:
Guglielmo Marchese Marconi =
Commercial urge: signal home!
Toby Gottfried with:
General Dwight David Eisenhower =
In the World War he is egged, "Invade!"
Paul Pan with:
Mayor Nagin =
Moaning Ray.
Paul Pan with:
Szymon Wiesenthal =
Who nets sly Nazi? Me!
Rosie Perera with:
Joan Chandos Baez =
Oh, banjo cadenzas.
Rosie Perera with:
The Holocaust survivor Simon Wiesenthal =
Semite son: "I vow to hunt cruel Shoah rivals."
Rosie Perera with:
Robert David Paulison =
Provide urban aid...LOTS!
Don Rogers with:
Chief Justice Roberts =
Refuse Christ? I object!
Don Rogers with:
The Reverend Louis Farrakhan ~
rehashed virulent Koran fear.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Bunnatine Greenhouse =
Unsung heroine beaten.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Snowdon Mountain Railway Ride =
I do mean a windy tour in North Wales
2nd - David Bourke with:
The Federation of Bakers =
I often eat fresh bread, OK!
3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
Charles de Gaulle International Airport =
To reach Paris/Rouen/Lille: land, get a train.
aussie battler with:
Ocean laps ~
Pensacola.
aussie battler with:
The Samurai ‡
Amateurish!
David Bourke with:
America's Deep South =
Emphasis due to race
Larry Brash with:
The Department of Public Prosecutions =
Upon theft, to probe suspected criminal.
Tony Crafter with:
Lourdes Medical Center =
Told, "Needs miracle cure."
Ellie Dent with:
America's "The Statue of Liberty" =
I see that symbolic art feature.
Toby Gottfried with:
Saint Nazaire ~
isn't Nazi area.
Adrian Hickford with:
Anagram Artist (Version Three) by Mike Keith =
The aim: verb rearrangement. This kit is okay.
Rosie Perera with:
The Associated Press news agency =
We get one's dispatch as necessary.
Rosie Perera with:
Association of Flight Attendants =
A safe landing? Toots, that's fiction!
Rosie Perera with:
"A Consumer's Dictionary of Food Additives" =
Avoid FD&C Red No. 2, as it's so you-can-die-from-it!
Rosie Perera with:
Snowdonia National Park =
I walk on a road past no inn.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Simon Wiesenthal Center =
One theme's "Hitler wasn't nice!"
Rick Rothstein with:
The Federation of Master Bakers =
Heat, not effort, makes bread rise.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Melaleuca Alternifolia =
I meant a leaf oil cure-all
View with:
The magnificent pyramid of Cheops =
Nice empty midget Pharaohs' coffin
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
"Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation" by Lynne Truss =
Bet proven author's style can train us to analyze & use the apostrophe, colons, etc.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is unread. =
It's true! Wilde ended in a terrible, austere jail, based just on his main flair, a rather unnatural need for cute men.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Sir Arnold Bax said (sort of!): "One should try everything in life once, except incest and morris dancing; ~
unicycling; any sort of shellfish; Rotterdam; Dido concerts; Indian beer and xeroxing one's privates."
David Bourke with:
The Canadian snooker player Clifford Charles Devlin Thorburn =
His partner for clinical hundred-and-forty-seven break? Alcohol!
David Bourke with:
Heather Mills-McCartney's autobiography 'A Single Step' =
'Stumpy: Her story'
- Policeman tangles.
- I shag a rich Beatle.
David Bourke with:
The late legendary American rock guitarist Jimi Hendrix =
Rather major USA genitalia...extremely rigid ten-inch dick!
David Bourke with:
Debbie Lawson, the neo-natal manager at the Calderdale Royal Hospital, Halifax, West Yorkshire. =
- "Ahh! How really sweet!"
- "Halt!" she snarled, irked. "No cooing at babies at all!".
Extremely daft paranoia.
David Bourke with:
The International Association of Fully Clothed Naturists =
Holiday action? No tit, cunt, arsehole, nuts nor stiffies at all!
David Bourke with:
The hit single "Ebony and Ivory" by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney =
Yes, that blind coon and very, very rich Beatle spew annoying tedium!
Rosie Perera with:
Monty Python humor: "Look, it's people like you what cause unrest!" =
How? Oh, shout insult (not on topic): "Your type really makes me puke!"
Rosie Perera with:
"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel" (Samuel Johnson) =
Jihad (one unpeaceful slog) is the last summons of a terrorist.
Christopher Sturdy with:
'Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend' by Marilyn Monroe =
I'm randy. I'd marry bin Laden for some real big stones!
Christopher Sturdy with:
Snowdonia National Park and North Wales Tourist Information =
We hadn't a lot of options...
mountain rain, or walks, or stand in rain!
View with:
The workers have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to gain. Workers of the world, unite!=
Labourers, after chains withdrew, they shall have the right to good work, to own union...even to strike, eh!
The subject text:
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
1st - Cory Calhoun with:
I, George W. Bush, an evil Republican fascist, used God to inflict pain on the world, end life, facilitate death, create militant jihad rebels, and to let youths die for nothing.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
I'll always eat McDonalds, elect Bush, own fifteen guns (in total), join the N.R.A, protect Israel if hit, hate Fidel, diet, be litigious, avoid church and... I pretend to be God-fearing.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
I, Tony Blair, pledge allegiance to the President, Bush, and attest that, if directed, I will: act under his influence, lie on his behalf, advocate jingoism, go to war for fun. Do it!
Richard Brodie with:
Of liberties once in "Tea? Cast it!" Spring
We free of courted leagues in hope could sing;
That birth fruit dead in this vain jaded Fall,
Allied, by tooth and nail to them we cling.
David Bourke with:
The dear President (a choice imbecile and an unethical fool):
"Offhand, I'd figure that's just evidently a pledge...it's got lots of big intellectual words within it!" (A no-brainer!)
David Bourke with:
I'd prefer allegiance, though, to bin Laden, terrorists left in Guantanamo Bay, violence, world conflict. Plot jihad against the West! Defeat the US! Die, idiotic infidel Bush!
Ellie Dent with:
I, George Bush, confirmed patriot, gotta hold on to big oil fields. In defence, I can use force. It's a pain, war, it is. But that'll end, and I defend it with every last cent. Hallelujah!
Dan Fortier with:
We promise to fight Talibanic judges who see "under God" unconstitutional : their effort to denigrate Biblical fact and the fine role it played in all this land's achieved.
Adrian Hickford with:
"I do hereby state that I will often initiate sale of arms; both support and defend all conflict; and have rather idiotic intelligence and unjustified logic."--George W. Bush.
Toby Gottfried with:
Friends, I daily fail to believe how a once-great nation did fall from grace, and half-elect as President this thin, little idiot-dauphin, George Bush, not just once, but twice !!
Meyran Kraus with:
Jingoist Feat
A gibe of one valiant student
Baffled all with a charge so imprudent:
"I can daily recite
The detailed Bill of Rights -
Which is one note our president couldn't!"
Krudmonger with:
Hi. Can't Democrats and Republicans get along fine? If I doubt it, why fib? Please treat ideological hive differences as hurdles to a jilted nation hurtling down the toilet.
Paul Pan with:
G. W. Bush: I taunt the state, and fail to blush;
Condi Rice: Hottest neocon bigot, I entice;
Richard Perle: I a fatty jingo fief's Earl;
Donald Rumsfeld: Evil towelhead in pain, I geld.
Rosie Perera with:
I help other countries solve their own problems; I detain drug addicts in jail, indulge the affluent, watch football, get fattily obese; I ignore Canadians...and the deficit!
Hans-Peter Reich with:
"No. I salute financial wealth (but not if it gains for the negroid people), fat clinics, this battle over jihad, elected leaders (be it through election fraud), and dying wisdom."
Don Rogers with:
I'll be faithful to death, write to the Tribune editor, cheer each sporting deed while succeeding, avoid no forbidden fat. Just as long as it impinges financially not at all.
Christopher Sturdy with:
though I'm not sure I believe all that. It's not as if we enjoy protection (see disgrace left at New Orleans) and if Halliburton fiddle a high-paid building contract, I'd defect!
View with:
Hi. I'm a bigot. I can't stand all the different races in the land -- Negros, Jews, Yellows, Latinos, Hindu, etc. But I love diet cola, hot coffee, pie, beer, pudding. A fat rural idiot thing.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
A man in a supermarket line sees that a gorgeous blonde in front of him is waving hello. He's rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him and, although familiar, he can't place her, so he says, "Sorry, do I know you?"
She replies, "I could be mistaken, but you might be the father of one of my children."
His mind darts back to the one and only time he was unfaithful. "Oh, darn it!" he says. "You're that stripper I screwed on the pool table in front of all my pals while your friend lashed my arse with wet celery."
"No," she replies. "I'm your son's English teacher.
=
It was a bleak Monday morning and the harrassed mother was having a hellish time preparing her son Kenneth for school.
"Why won't you understand, mother!" he shrieked. "I am so unhappy. It is awful. Nobody likes me! The meanie teachers don't like me (sniff); the horrible kids all hate me (sniff). I can't face them! I won't go to school! I won't!
"Kenneth, pull yourself together!" said his mother. "Bear up! Life isn't always easy. Sure school can be tough; sure it can be rough - but, as you are forty years old and the school Principal, I'm afraid you really will have to be there."
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
House of the Rising Sun (traditional version)
3rd - Larry Brash with:
An elderly woman has been admitted to a nursing home. The nurses are all extremely friendly and attentive. They get her settled into a big comfortable armchair in the day room with all the other residents.
During the course of her first day, one of the nurses notices that the frail old lady is leaning sharply over to the right in her chair, so rushes over to her and props her back up with a pillow. A short time later, the nurse sees her leaning over to the left, and again kindly pushes back her into an upright position. This occurs many times during the day. A nurse straightens her up each time she leans over.
That evening the woman's son comes in to visit and asks her how her first day in the home has been. "Well, it has been just great, my dear. Yes, I am very contented" she replies.
"How are they caring for you, Mom?" he asks.
"They are all really beautiful and kind, except there is one problem... they won't let me fart!"
=
A lady of mature years consults her family doctor.
"What's the problem affecting you, then, dear?" he asks her.
"I have a frightfully strange problem with gas. Really bad! I'll pass it recurrently day and night. In fact, just within the short time I have been here in your room, I have passed gas nine times."
"Nine, huh? That's horrific! There there!"
"However, here's another rather strange thing...they are completely odorless and silent...can it harm me?"
"Huh? Never! Let me examine you."
After he's done, the doctor says: "I think that I have an answer to the problem. Here, take one of these very strong prescription tablets three times a day, and return here in the week to see me "
The old lady later returns, but says, "I'm here 'cos that new medicine's no damn good! I still pass gas silently, but now the damn stench is repugnant!"
The doctor then replies, "Hang on, it looks like I have fixed your sinus problem...now I shall order you a hearing aid!"
David Bourke with:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Well, I was told outside that...
Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
What?
Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!
Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT. I'm not going to stand...!!
Oh, I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Ah yes, you want room 12A.
Oh, thank you very much. Sorry.
Not at all.
Thank you.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!
=
What do you want, mate?
- Well, I was told the Forum was 1: a fun, very friendly
place to post either a humorous or literary anagram, and 2: that...
- Don't give me that, you obnoxious waste-of-space!
- Pardon? I thought surely that...
- Oh, so you *thought*, did you, moron? Tut! Dang newbies!
Come in here, making out that they can...
- Sorry?
- Probably don't even speak English! Yugoslavia?
- I say! Look here, you utterly pompous, stuffy rotter! Step outside, sir!
- Shut it, OK Mike?
Ellie Dent with:
MORNING POEM
Ellie Dent with:
R.I.P. (A Sad Story)
A boy goes to school and while he's there, his pet cat gets run over and killed. His mother is very concerned how he'll take the news. Later when he gets home again, she gently explains the tragedy and consoles him, saying, "Oh, now, please don?t worry, you don't have to feel bad. I promise the cat's fine now, up in Heaven above with God."
The boy said "What's God gonna do with a dead cat?"
=
HAPPY ENDING (for one cat)
An arthritic old cat dies and goes to Heaven. God gives him a big bouncy pillow. He knows that he'd always had to sleep on a hard floor.
When six mice die, God provides them with roller skates so that they won't have to run anywhere.
Then one day when God sees the cat on his pillow, the cat says: "It's good here... and those meals-on-wheels you?ve been sending by are great!
Rosie Perera with:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Well, I was told outside that...
Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
What?
Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!
Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT. I'm not going to stand...!!
Oh, I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Ah yes, you want room 12A.
Oh, thank you very much. Sorry.
Not at all.
Thank you.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!
=
Whose castle is this?
...
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
(Burp!)
Oh, shut up, you fat knavish Vikings! Go eat vats of lark's vomit. O you, you nasty gouty thugs. You puppy-dog bastard mutt-boy! Thththtpth!
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
No! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.
[exit]
Rosie Perera with:
We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the United States of America.
=
A great document. Too bad nobody in the U.S. ever learns anything apart from the first three words of it, and maybe a paraphrase of one or two of the amendments (freedom of speech, entitled to use bullets, freedom to petition the Lord, liquor is out...then in, etc.). I list issues: juries, courts, presidents & free elections run civil societies.
Christopher Sturdy with:
"When the Tories tell you the next election will be between old Labour versus new Conservatives, tell them the truth. The next election must and will be new Labour renewed against a Conservative Party still incapable of renewal."
Gordon Brown
=
When I say renew, Tony must expect to be axed soon. Even he cannot win a fourth term - Revive to Survive and all that. I'll not be a Chancellor, President Blair! We went to war with Bush telling UN we'll see a little result!
Go on, rebel! Rebel now! Deselect TB.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Two anagrams of a sonnet by Wilde
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Blowin' in the wind by Bob Dylan
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
The Children's Bill of Rights
David Bourke with:
There is a house in New Orleans
Richard Brodie with:
Remove each and every Jew who is in Palestine, okay?
=
Jah! Si! Si! Khrap! Evet! Ney! Ydw! Men Leo! We! Ere! Iva! Oc! Ano!
(Yes! in Estonian, Spanish, Thai, Turkish, Korean, Welsh, Lao, Creole, Kurdish, Maltese, Occitan, and Croat)
Ahoy! Ship the Moslems who are in Europe back to Arabia, huh?
=
Oh Ne! Bo! Bo! Pu Shi! Pu Shi! Hmar Te! Hmar Te! Siyo! Le! Cha! Kaore! Awa!
(No! in Czech, Lao, Chinese, Burmese, Swahili, Maltese, Zulu, Maori, and Creole)
Authority:
http://www.freelang.net/expressions/yes.html
http://www.freelang.net/expressions/no.html
Tony Crafter with:
Old Friends
Rosie Perera with:
Feelin' Groovy
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The act of masturbation
Ain't that a burst of come?
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
See 'Hymen Reconstruction' =
Thus, restore my innocence.
3rd - View with:
With no panties ~
I want hot penis.
aussie battler with:
Fabrication =
A bionic fart.
David Bourke with:
The old slapper Katie Price (Jordan) =
Peter Andre (a phallic joke) prods it.
David Bourke with:
Genital lesions =
Gentle liaisons.
David Bourke with:
The U.S. singer Courtney Love =
Her cunt's revolting, you see!
David Bourke with:
An enormous tadger =
A tremendous organ!
David Bourke with:
The mons veneris ~
thrives on semen.
Tony Crafter with:
Spilt semen =
Spent slime.
Meyran Kraus with:
Female porn star =
Most prefer anal.
Paul Pan with:
Vaginally rid ~
virginal lady.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Latex fetish =
That sex life.
Rick Rothstein with:
The U.S. singer Courtney Love =
Venereology suits her cunt.
Rick Rothstein with:
Precoital Stimulation=
I put oscillator in mate.
Rik Sengupta with:
Bulging penis ~
begins plug-in.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Ms Katie Price =
I'm prick tease.