FEBRUARY 2006 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Anagrammy Archives > 2006

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
The first lesson on guitar =
It hurts one's fingers a lot!

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Astronomical observations =
To scan a visible star or moon.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A plate of spaghettini =
Get a pile of thin pasta.

aussie battler with:
Dippy seas =
Dyspepsia.

aussie battler with:
Tragicomedy =
My goat cried

aussie battler with:
Crystalline ~
lens clarity.

Larry Brash with:
Wearing a disguise =
i.e. dares using a wig.

Tony Crafter with:
It's a big one! =
i.e: Boasting.

Tony Crafter with:
Those fanatic ~
hate factions.

Tony Crafter with:
Police patrol car =
Riot? Call a copper!

Tony Crafter with:
The poor American ~
machine operator.

Tony Crafter with:
Cretinous ~
neurotics

Don Fortier with:
Internal combustion engine =
Burning it clean? Motion seen!

Toby Gottfried with:
South American Indians =
As in, "This man in Ecuador."

Toby Gottfried with:
A watched pot never boils. =
Had cover ? Slow ? Be patient.

Meyran Kraus with:
To G. Bush =
Shut gob!

Meyran Kraus with:
Weather conditions =
Oh! I detect rain, snow.

Paul Pan with:
Ethnic slur =
Insult Cher.

Rosie Perera with:
The hotel "Do not disturb" sign =
Truth: got hot blondes inside.

Rosie Perera with:
Hot air balloon rides =
O, I'd soar in lethal orb.

Rosie Perera with:
The landscape architect ~
cleared that scenic path.

Rosie Perera with:
The rules of engagement =
E'er fought as gentlemen.

Rosie Perera with:
The decapitation =
No pate; I detach it.

Rosie Perera with:
Don't count your chickens before they're hatched =
You did check nest (by foot), note three....hear "Crunch!"

Rosie Perera with:
The Benedictine monastery =
Theistic men enter and obey.

Rosie Perera with:
Prenatal amniocentesis =
I can see patient's normal.

Rosie Perera with:
Inconsolable =
Ill one can sob.

Rosie Perera with:
Bleep, as minor is ~
impressionable.

Rosie Perera with:
Basic training =
Inciting Arabs

Rosie Perera with:
Interdenominational theology =
Any one religion? No. Admit the lot!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Weather conditions =
Nice, dear, it's hot now!

Rick Rothstein with:
A losing battle =
Antilog tables.

Rick Rothstein with:
The raised-arm salute =
Use at Hitler's mad era.

Rick Rothstein with:
A demonic ~
comedian.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The official merchandise =
I elicited cash from fan, eh?

Christopher Sturdy with:
Biathlon =
Nail both.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Wise old ~
owl dies.

View with:
Southern =
Er...hot sun.

View with:
Orators hate ~
a sore throat.

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
Paris Hilton's autobiography ~
is about an oh-so-hip party girl.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Steve Martin plays Inspector Clouseau =
Vacuous man's copy? Peter Sellers it ain't!

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik =
Nice notes, like in them mazurkas.

aussie battler with:
Haven't seen ~
'Heaven Sent'.

David Bourke with:
The singer Gerard Hugh "Leo" Sayer =
High-range short guy re-released.

David Bourke with:
The singer Madonna ~
Gets hernia. ("Damn! No!")

David Bourke with:
The bass guitarist Bill Clements =
Less a limb, but get a listen..."Christ!"

Larry Brash with:
Nathan Mironovich Milstein =
Christ! Main man on the violin.

Tony Crafter with:
The actress Thandie Newton in 'Crash'=
Ascendent ethnic star won his heart!

Tony Crafter with:
Thunder In My Heart ~
and my hit return, eh?

dupe with:
The Arctic Monkeys =
Ah mercy! - no tickets.

Don Fortier with:
The Winter Olympics =
Why melt ice in sport?

Toby Gottfried with:
The Winter Olympic Games ‡
Pray so new ice might melt.

Rosie Perera with:
Phillip Glass music in "Koyaanisqatsi" =
It's mainly sick, quasi-Hopi signals, pal.

Rosie Perera with:
Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik =
I mark Constanze likes minuet, eh?

Rosie Perera with:
The American trumpet player Wynton Marsalis =
My raw talent's in my lips. No amateur crap there!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Madonna Louise Ritchie =
hernia solution? - a medic.

View with:
'Ivanhoe' by Sir Walter Scott =
His best war-atrocity novel.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Danish newspaper cartoon angers the Muslims =
Seems a plain pen is much stronger than a sword...

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
The Presidents of the USA =
He's far the stupidest one

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Nuclear disarmament =
Lecture Iran's madman.

David Bourke with:
Behead those who insult Islam ~
the somewhat libelous Danish!

David Bourke with:
The historian David John Cawdell Irving =
Jail...and with no Third Reich gas involved!

David Bourke with:
British Gas and Centrica profits =
Brings in rapid riches to fat cats!

Tony Crafter with:
The transplanted face of Miss Isabelle Dinoire =
Able feat? Lots of smiles can't hide inner despair.

Rosie Perera with:
Super Bowl party =
Play + Brew -- Stupor.

Rosie Perera with:
Egyptian ferry sinks in the Red Sea =
Risky ship & fire generate nasty end.

Rosie Perera with:
Dick Cheney shoots man instead of quail =
He soon denies that fiasco damn quickly.

Rosie Perera with:
Saint Valentine's Day, February fourteenth =
An infatuated lover buys finery & ten hearts.

Rosie Perera with:
Civil war erupts in streets of Iraq =
Rivals quite fierce in worst parts.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
German Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler =
Grim ruler of Fatherland, eh?

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie =
Trade a Jen to nail Big Lip.

3rd - David Bourke with:
French face-transplant patient Isabelle Dinoire =
Perfect nose, neater chin and lips...a brilliant feat!

David Bourke with:
Stephen Peter Marriott =
The premier 'Top Ten' star.

Larry Brash with:
The USA champion golfer Tiger Woods =
Shoot a few under par? I might go close.

Rosie Perera with:
Betty Naomi Goldstein Friedan =
Feminist dead; a long obit. entry.

Rosie Perera with:
Mnemosyne the personification of memory =
If they pacify me, no more senior moments. No.

View with:
Enrico Fabris =
Ice for brains

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
American Indian =
I'm in a rain dance.

2nd - View with:
The McDonald's restaurants =
Most eaters' standard lunch.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Southern Italy =
It enthrals you.

David Bourke with:
President of the USA =
Pisshead? Often true!

David Bourke with:
The General Motors Corporation =
Soon to regret another crap limo!

Larry Brash with:
The Americans ~
mean "racist", eh?

Toby Gottfried with:
The American Mathematical Society ~
may cite that claim as a nice theorem.

Adrian Hickford with:
Southern Italy =
Reality: hot sun.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Harley-Davidson Motor =
That noisy 'vroom!' held dear.

Rosie Perera with:
The Government Accountability Officer =
I act; cover my butt if no one left in charge.

Rosie Perera with:
Betty Crocker Chocolate Brownies =
O, bother! We concoct cakes terribly.

Rosie Perera with:
The Franciscan monks =
As men in frocks chant.

Rosie Perera with:
Kid, a NY team use ~
Yankee Stadium.

Rosie Perera with:
The Oxford English Dictionary ~
is hardy lexicon of noted girth.

Rosie Perera with:
Stanford University =
For I study in taverns.

Rosie Perera with:
The National Center on Adult Literacy =
Oh, truly cite: "One in ten can't read at all!"

Rick Rothstein with:
South American Indians =
Man! Incan art is hideous.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Munich Air Disaster =
Crash - hit team is ruined.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
vice (noun):
1. Moral depravity or corruption
2. A moral fault or failing
3. A habitual and usually trivial defect or shortcoming.

=

vice president:
1. A common fill-in
2. Valued authority or motivator for a crucial hour
3. An arrogant old US bully firing at a pal.

2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Vice President of the United States of America, Dick Cheney =
"I shot up a friend's face, neck, chest, etc." (Yet the idiot never aimed!)

3rd - David Bourke with:
The late aviation businessman Sir Frederick Alfred Laker =
Silver-haired saint of landmark bucket-seat airliner fees.

David Bourke with:
The autobiography 'Confessions of an Heiress' by Paris Hilton =
Brainless beauty's nights of fiery passion. (Each portion: "Oh!! Oh!!!")

David Bourke with:
The late aviation businessman Sir Frederick Alfred Laker =
Over-fed, bad ankle, airsickness, heart failure...it's "terminal"!

Tony Crafter with:
Iran's leader is ready to resume his nuclear activities programme =
Tehran's ruler aims to give America and Europe dirty-missile scare?

Don Fortier with:
The Presidential election shall be won by a woman candidate.=
Hillary Clinton, who I see aims to be new, decent and adaptable.

Rosie Perera with:
Danish newspaper publishes unflattering cartoons of Mohammed. =
Profanation of God, eh? Muslims want blasphemers punished. Recant!

Rosie Perera with:
The Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity =
Principle of it is forcing humanity to turn Catholic, no?

THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
We meet top men in white Lycra tights!

2nd - Paul Pan with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
We compete in thermal tights, yet win!

3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Mighty winter athletes compete, win.

David Bourke with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
How tempting is thermal Winceyette!

Larry Brash with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Snow, get there, lap city, time them, win.

Larry Brash with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Eighty went to race with implements.

Larry Brash with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Why see them attempt twirling on ice?

Tony Crafter with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Met in style, competing with weather.

Don Fortier with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games=
Nightly rite: compete with News team!

Scott Gardner with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Why, team competing there wins title!

Scott Gardner with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Might see pretty, athletic women win.

Scott Gardner with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Men compete within with great style.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
With net empty, cries went, "Hit 'em! ... Goal !!"

David A. Green with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
We get trim women tipsy in the chalet !

Adrian Hickford with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Why Germans compete: the title - win it!

Adrian Hickford with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Mighty power-men want the ice titles.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
The white, icy matter pelting me? Snow.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Chattering teeth won't wipe my smile!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Tempting snowy-white climate there!

Rosie Perera with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Mighty wet snow pile; I'm at the center.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
Time almighty crew went on the piste.

View with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
New athletic meeting. My 'White Sport' .

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
MacArthur Park (Lyrics and music by Jimmy Webb)

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Isobel, the daughter of the house, got paralytically drunk on her eighteenth birthday and manservant Jeeves undressed her and put her to bed.
"Thank you Jeeves," said the contrite young lady next morning. "Um ...was I terribly tight?"
"Only the first two times madam," he replied.

=

When a grim Lady Legge fired Jenny, the housemaid, the irreverent girl couldn't resist a final parting shot.
"My Lady, your husband thinks I'm a better housekeeper than you, prettier and better to have decent sex with."
"Oh right, and my husband's told you that?"
"No, Jeeves told me!"

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall on the same day. As Air America Radio pointed out:
"It is an ironic juxtaposition. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog."
=
President Bush lists his leadership skills on his CV:
1. I'm fit as a fiddle, love to go jogging, and could outrun you any day.
2. I have a vacation ranch in Texas. I entertain there.
3. Half our nation elected me.
4. I am a Christian, too. Proof? I tolerate teetotalers.
5. A good negotiator? No, no, no! I win through war - no end!

David Bourke with:
Hail Mary, full of grace,
The Lord is with thee;
Blessed art thou among women,
And blessed be the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
=
Hail Dubya, how high! Full of alcohol abuse!
Destroyer of Freedom,
The 'First Dummy'...an utter moron amongst morons!
How merry was the seed,
The sweet fruit of thy loins, Jenna and Barbara?
- God help the U.S.!

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
[Below is an anagram of the 98 Scrabble letters into four
5x5 squares. Of course, 98 is less then 100
so two spaces must remain unused - these unfilled spots have
been put in the lower right of the arrangement.
Every one of the 40 horizontal and vertical words can
be found in the current "Tournament Word List" used for
play in North American Scrabble tournaments, which
is in turn based on the current (4th) edition
of the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary.
I also imposed an additional constraint, which was that
the two empty spots could be filled by the two blank
Scrabble tiles to (when assigned the proper letters)
complete the bottom right square so that it has
a full complement of 5-letter words. Making the blanks
E and S turns HON into HONES, CRUD into CRUDE and HYPE
into HYPES.
Below is the anagram in plain text followed by
a picture of an actual board with tiles.
This is the first 4x(5x5) arrangement of the Scrabble
tiles ever constructed.]

AAAAAAAAA BB CC DDDD EEEEEEEEEEEE FF GGG HH
IIIIIIIII J K LLLL MM NNNNNN OOOOOOOO PP Q
RRRRRR SSSS TTTTTT UUUU VV WW X YY Z
=
TOQUE JOWAR
WRUNG AGONE
AGAPE BIFID
TIKIS OVULE
SCENT TELES

MALAR BATCH
OZONE IVORY
TINED MIXUP
IDEAL ASIDE
FERRY HON



2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Below is an anagram of this very text, in which renowned men (thirteen overall) are arranged in a rather particular order, as each man's name is entirely comprised of the rear of the name preceding it and the start of the name succeeding it. Our circular chain is currently shown under some hints (the men's short descriptions, number of letters) and a small spoiler space, granting all big brains an opportunity to decipher this riddle - although any person may simply scroll down for the answer.

Enjoy!

=

1. Christian saint (6)
2. French mathematician (8)
3. US thespian ('The Odd Couple') (7)
4. US thespian and film director ('Another Woman') (5)
5. German fantasy writer ('The Neverending Story') (4)
6. US film director ('Cleopatra') (7)
7. US playwright and essayist ('Death of a Salesman') (6)
8. Jewish-Austrian psychologist (5)
9. German conductor (8)
10. English writer and essayist ('Fever Pitch') (6)
11. English poet ('Prometheus') (5)
12. US\Norwegian Antarctic explorer (5)
13. Roman emperor (4)

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

1. Robert 2. Bertrand 3. Randall 4. Allen 5. Ende 6. DeMille 7. Miller
8. Reich 9. Eichhorn 10. Hornby 11. Byron 12. Ronne 13. Nero.



3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
O Solitude!

Tony Crafter with:
SONG FOR THE ASKING

Benjamin Randall with:
OZYMANDIAS

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Ang Lee's film "Brokeback Mountain" =
I break all "men-fucking-men" taboos.

eq.2nd - Paul Pan with:
The check is in the mail =
The male is in the chick.

eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
A neatly-trimmed pussy... ~
and I'm supremely tasty!

eq.2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Eager lusting =
Genital urges.

aussie battler with:
Purgatives ~
give a spurt...

aussie battler with:
Fake fur socks ~
for fuck's sake!

Larry Brash with:
The 'Miss wet T-shirt' competitions =
Men whimper, "Choose tits... tits... tits..."

Mike Keith with:
Valentine's Day =
DATY 'n' Vaseline.

Meyran Kraus with:
A naked punishment =
I spank the nude man.

Christopher Sturdy with:
masturbating with a vibrator =
I thrust Rabbit to warm vagina!