Complete list of Nominations for October, 2007

OCTOBER, 2007 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2007

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
Pavarotti the Legend =
That gent lived opera.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger =
Her grand story earned Rowling real monetary heap.

3rd - View with:
'Treasure Island' by Robert Louis Stevenson =
Unrest, troubles, banditry on overseas isle.

Adie Pena with:
"The name is Bond. James Bond." =
He-man does best in damn job!

sundogg99 with:
The prostitute with a heart of gold =
A fatigued plot; the worst hitherto.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The singer and actress Olivia Newton John =
Seen with adoring John Travolta in scenes.

Christopher Sturdy with:
John Cleese performs "The Ministry of Silly Walks" =
I enjoy sillier sketches from flawless "Mr. Python".

Tony Crafter with:
The Who's 'My Generation' =
Somehow angry-teen hit!

View with:
Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger =
A master hero, worrying partner , gal - learned hoyden.

Tony Crafter with:
A nightmare with no end in sight =
Madonna whining her hits - get it?

Rosie Perera with:
The elusive Entertainment category =
Theater, Lee acting on TV, minuets, Eyre, ...

Ellie Dent with:
"In Praise of Slowness" =
Sees proof: snails win!

David Bourke with:
The American vocalist Britney Spears =
An active trailer-trash specimen, boys!

Larry Brash with:
The Three Stooges: Curly, Moe and Larry =
Comedy or laughter, aren't they losers?

Neil Ramsay with:
The "Brat-Pack" actors =
Crackpots at the bar.

Tony Crafter with:
Indigenous Americans =
Cinema's Indian 'rogues'.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Stephen Fry's autobiography - Moab is my Washpot =
Has sharp wit's memories of gay (but not happy) boy.

Meyran Kraus with:
The classic 'Around the World in Eighty Days' =
"Oh, I would circle Earth", says this dandy gent.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Rosie Perera with:
The U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom =
I see one God in one soul. No matter if Christian or Muslim.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
Tim, a precocious child, once asked, "Hi there, Papa! Why are all wedding dresses white?" ~
His daddy was the great wisecracker, replied, "Household appliances come in white!"

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals =
A totally free charity - they monitor violence on pets for us.

Neil Ramsay with:
Notice.
More misuse of these company photocopiers may result in disciplinary action being taken
=
Ie. I must stop taking insane, obscene pictures of my idle arse on optical machinery in the copy room.

Rosie Perera with:
"A Manual for Writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations" (Kate L. Turabian) =
Appears as essential, for students err, earn bad marks, fail a term without it, no?

Ellie Dent with:
"Happiness is an angel with a serious face." (Amedeo Clemente Modigliani) =
I can see he is a painter who must specialise in an odd, long, female image.

View with:
Forty two thousand and one hundred ninety five meters =
Defines marathon run . Not thy event, dud - is not for weedy!

Rosie Perera with:
Al Gore wins the Nobel Peace Prize today for the work on global warming =
Renewable energy zealot, known prophet of gloom; big historical award.

Adie Pena with:
"Hula is the language of the heart and therefore the heartbeat of the Hawaiian people." (David La'amea Kalakaua) =
The 'talkative' hands of a real maiden flow to heat up the fine beau. Aaah, take glee ... a higher rapture ahead! Aloha!

Dan Fortier with:
Former prime minister Bhutto's motorcade has been attacked=
Chief tried return to Pakistan: met some car bombs, more death.

Rosie Perera with:
Architect and board game inventor Alfred Mosher Butts =
Rather, am I not documented for having started Scrabble?

Andrew Brehaut with:
Lord, give me patience and give it to me right bloody now! =
My God! Don't gripe. We don't have time to be genial or civil.

David Bourke with:
David Albert Charles Armstrong-Jones, Viscount Linley =
A charmless royal adult involved in secret snorting / B-J?

Meyran Kraus with:
Pamela Anderson weds Rick Salomon, the infamous ex-boyfriend of Paris Hilton
=
Fans reckon a hot, profane home-made film will be around porno sites in six days!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Council tax evaluators want to charge us more if we live in a nice area. That ought to mean discounts for those of us who live in rough areas.

We have a huge council house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs.

Her car isn't taxed or insured, and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police do nothing.

Her bad tempered old man is famous for upsetting foreigners with his racist comments.

A local shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved yet.

All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay.

Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army, but are always seen out in nightclubs.

The family's odd antics are always in the papers. They are out of control.

Honestly, who'd live near Windsor Castle?

=

One hot August day, Prince Charles visited Carshalton Beeches - a suburb of London - to open an organic-sausage factory. On arrival, he looked very suave rigged out in full summer naval uniform, except ... he also wore an enormous, comical fur hat!

During a supervised tour of the site, he struggled manfully in the hot confines to both converse with and offer encouragement to the employees.

Later, the factory owner thanked him for attending. Then, with a perplexed expression, he observed, "I hope you won't mind me asking Sir, but it's very warm with our generators blasting out heat, and you are wearing ... a fur hat?"

"Well, it's by royal command!" retorted the Prince. "I phoned Mummy last night and she asked what I was doing today. When I told her I was going to visit a business premises in Carshalton Beeches, she said, "Carshalton Beeches? Wear the fox hat?"

2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
"In nineteen seventy two, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team."

=

Seven years ago, a redneck republican movement was sent to Capitol Hill after a vote they didn't win fairly.

These madmen then commenced a clumsy programme of devious myth and international conflict.

Today, mocked by many, these veteran idiots can exist only to further their fortunes.

If you need a war begun or if you're momentously stupid, perhaps you can commission "The B-Team".

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Osama's Inter-Cave Memo
From: Bin Laden, Osama
Sent: Monday
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in really long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is outrageously hilarious. However, while we are fighting a very difficult jihad, we cannot forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few big concerns with that.

First of all, while it's necessary to be extremely concerned about the US Pigs murderous cruise missile, we should be even more wary about the terribly scary scorpions in the cave. Yeah, you really don't want to be stung by one of those and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily.

I've posted a duty sign up poster near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a damn television address but when I do,

=

I'm trying to scare the most powerful, mean and evil country on earth? That means that whenever we're busy taping a scene in the cave, please cease riding your scooters in the cave's background. Just while we're taping.

Thirdly, and it's a very touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our lovely beards. But, in essence, I need everyone to just think about hygiene, especially after cabbage soup at meals. Everyone's in this together.

Fourth item: food. I bought a bag of Cheese Twisties recently with a label "Osama" on the front, and I placed it on the top shelf of the annexe. Now, my Cheese Twisties are gone.

Shivers! Consideration. That's all I'm suggesting.
Lastly, we've vaguely heard that there may be an American envoy in disguise trying to infiltrate our cave. We want to set up cave patrols to look for them. First on will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Abbah, and Richard.

A vow of death to US infidels

Osama

Rosie Perera with:
Breaking News: The leaders of North and South Korea have signed a declaration pledging to work on a permanent peace deal to replace a 1953 cease-fire. =
No debate. No protracted heckling. Alienated Kim and Roh awaken, open a deaf ear, engage, and reverse results of last war. A historic people go hence!

David Bourke with:
James Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and Member of Parliament for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath =
Determined, pension-robbing, thrifty old jock android working hard to transfer power to an imminent German-led Federal EU, damn him. A bit of a merchant-banker.

View with:
James Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and Member of Parliament for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath =
Our mentioned front chief,(replacing Tony Blair), British Premier from London, Ten Downing Street - rather bad joke with bad karma.
Kind of deranged mean madman.

Adie Pena with:
The Catholic Sun

Neil Ramsay with:
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

It is a period of civil war.

Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

=

In a meagre desert not too far off....

Two opposing parties grapple in a scrappy fight over territories.

Snapping at each others heels, both prepared to take immense damage.

During the expensive, outrageous fight, one steals the others amateurish plans.

The adversaries persist with their hellish combat.

Each side resorts to dirty tactics.

As we await the macabre end, both parties appear pale, lame, weary, tender, bruised and beaten.

At Last....

In the final tense climax.....

...

Roadrunner calmly avoids Wylie Coyote's falling anvils once again.

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sonnet 12

2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
Sittin' in the mornin' sun

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.

A gorgeous, petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The girl notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?�

The man replies, "No, what do you mean?"

She says, "You must be new. Let me explain. We have a rule here that if you get an erection; it implies you called for me."

Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a big towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

The man continues to explore the camp's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within minutes, a huge, very-hairy man lumbers out of the steam room towards him, "Did you call for me?" says the man.

"No, what do you mean?" replies the newcomer.

You must be new," says the man, "it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge, very-hairy man spins him round, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "How may I help?" she says.

The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the five-hundred-pounds membership payment."

But, Sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours. You've not had a proper chance to view all our facilities."

The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm seventy-two years old. I only get an erection once every month. But I fart thirteen times a day!"

=

Two old men, Mitch and Humphrey, have been friends all their lives. When it becomes clear that Humphrey is dying, Mitch visits the sick man's house every day.

One afternoon Mitch says, "Humphrey, we have each been keen soccer fans all our lives, and we played in the same team for many years. Please do me one favour; when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there is soccer there."

Humphrey looks up from his death-bed. "Mitch, you've been a dear friend for many, many years; if it is possible, I shall do that for you." Shortly after, Humphrey passes away.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mitch is awakened from a deep sleep by a flash of ethereal light and an eerie voice calling out to him, "Mitch ... Mitch."

"Who is it?" he asks, sitting up suddenly.

"Me ... Humphrey."

"Oh no it isn't! You're an imitation - Humphrey just died."

"I am telling you, I'm no imitation; it is me, Humphrey!" insists the lone voice."

"Humphrey! Oh, man! It IS you! Where are you?"

"I am in heaven!" replies Humphrey. "And I have some really good news to announce ... also some bad news."

"Okay, tell me the good news first," says Mitch.

"The good news," announces Humphrey, "is that there is soccer in heaven. Better yet, all of our friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we are all young men again. Better still, it's always springtime and it doesn't rain or snow. And best of all, we can play soccer all the time because we never get tired."

"Hooray! That's excellent!" exclaims Mitch; "Beyond my wildest dreams! So, what is the bad news?"

"You're playing next Tuesday."

Adie Pena with:
A Drink With Something In It

Rosie Perera with:
The Red Wheelbarrow

View with:
Once, when I was young and true

Briana with:
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz =
Glow q-tips fed x-ray JVC mHz bunk

David Bourke with:
There was an old bishop from Birmingham

The Anagrammy Awards

OCTOBER, 2007 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY