Complete list of Nominations for November, 2007

NOVEMBER, 2007 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2007

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Spice Girls reunion =
This "reopening" is cruel.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
Welcome to the Disneyland Paris Resort! =
Its Old Policy: The men wear rodent's ears.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Nigella Lucy Lawson - 'The Domestic Goddess' =
English woman's dŽcolletage; it's so ... cuddly!

Neil Ramsay with:
"American Gangster" ~
gets nicer anagram.

View with:
'The last of the Mohicans' =
O, that man! He's lost chief.

Adie Pena with:
Ang Lee's "Lust, Caution" =
Neat, luscious tangle.

David Bourke with:
The book 'A Million Little Pieces' - James Frey =
Fake. The majority is complete lies, no libel.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Riotous Assembly - a farce by Tom Sharpe =
South Africa's story may seem probable

Adie Pena with:
A happy J.Lo announces in Miami show: "I'm pregnant!" =
Marc Anthony now is a smiling poppa... ahem, in June?

Paul Pan with:
Pirates download ~
sad, low-paid tenor!

Neil Ramsay with:
Into live sex? =
Television X.

Ellie Dent with:
"Il Trovatore" =
Love traitor?

David Bourke with:
The American singer Dave Lee Roth =
See rather mediocre Van Halen git!

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hillary for President =
Her friends payroll it.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
American Thanksgiving =
Carving again, methinks.

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Annapolis conference =
No finer channels to peace.

Neil Ramsay with:
Westboro Baptist Church sued for defamation =
Tut! Rude homophobic bastards face worst fine.

Adie Pena with:
"Marijuana is not a drug," states California leader. =
America groaned, "It's just a leaf in Austria, Arnold?"

Tony Crafter with:
Heather Mills McCartney's television outbursts =
"Truly, I'm the real victim!" she blasts to us on screen

Adie Pena with:
NYC's Marathon Trials for the China Olympics =
Cool, trim champion Ryan Shay's final stretch.

Adie Pena with:
French Open champion Martina Hingis retires =
Cocaine impairing her sharp tennis form then?

J.J. Gertler with:
Alessandro Zanardi completes ING New York Marathon ~
and is no lark; racer with near no legs zoomed past many

Neil Ramsay with:
George Bush's "war on terror" =
Western rage. Bogus horror.

Adie Pena with:
Osmond singers patriarch has passed away at ninety =
The Donny and Marie Show's artists say: "Papa's in grace."

David Bourke with:
Tony Blair is converting to the Roman Catholic faith =
His Act of Contrition morally bothering the Vatican.

View with:
Bhutto under house arrest in Pakistan =
Aha, thanks to ruinous brute president !

Paul Pan with:
"Pirates download ~
on i-Pod. Trade laws?"

Rosie Perera with:
Music uncovered in Da Vinci's 'Last Supper' =
Super manuscript unveils "Da Vinci's code."

Andrew Brehaut with:
Norman Mailer is dead =
A sad memorial dinner.

Adie Pena with:
Novelist Norman Mailer dies at eighty-four =
I find that literary man's enormous ego evil.

Rosie Perera with:
Bush skydives at eighty-three =
Hey, it's risky; bet he'd have guts.

Neil Ramsay with:
Purchases resulted in ~
Chinese trade surplus.

Rosie Perera with:
Presidential debates =
Panel tried best ideas

Adie Pena with:
Real threat upon ~
our Planet Earth.

Neil Ramsay with:
Ban street uprising ~
in Saint Petersburg.

Rick Rothstein with:
Syria enters new Middle East peace talks =
Meddler's cry: "We seek a Palestinian state."

Neil Ramsay with:
The Middle East peace negotiations =
Ideas go in to end the epic stalemate.

David Bourke with:
The Labour Party's finances =
Annual profits by cheaters

View with:
The Annapolis conference =
Chance for Palestine? None!

View with:
The Annapolis conference =
In there, once foes, can plan.

David Bourke with:
A vote of no confidence in this Labour government =
After funding havoc in November, to Election soon.

Adie Pena with:
Broadway strike ends =
New York stars abided.

Ellie Dent with:
Feast Day of Saint Andrew, November Thirtieth =
ATTENTION! Friday: we'd observe that fisherman

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
Britney Spears lost her virginity at fourteen years old =
Noisy stereotype trailer-trash duly given a first boner!

Rosie Perera with:
2nd - On the Revolutions of the Heavenly Bodies by Nicolaus Copernicus =
Obvious (once I coolly convey belief): the earth spins around the sun!

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The critic can't create originality in any genre, but appoints himself to judge the ability of others who can. Some cheek! =
Pithily ironic response of critic: "Oh, so what? I can't lay an egg either, but I'm a better judge of omelettes than any chicken!"

Adie Pena with:
Spanish painter and printmaker Francisco Jose de Goya =
Crying censors find "The Naked Maja" as so inappropriate!

David Bourke with:
The former lead singer of the Beatles, Sir Paul McCartney, and Nancy Shevell =
Perfect beauty and charm herself. Singleton can't marry...all he needs is love!

View with:
Ebony and ivory
Live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard,
Oh Lord, why don't we ?=
Yoh, my good men! Anybody, everybody. White or Black. We're divine sons of Planet Earth. No hidden priority!

Neil Ramsay with:
Headlines:
Bush told to end hard war.
Brown left dumb scapegoat.
Ramsay grabbed big lottery win. =
Carlsberg don't do anagrams, but if we did, they would probably be the best anagrams in the world.

Adie Pena with:
The cleanup operations caused by the tanker oil spill in the San Francisco Bay continue. =
Thus, you can liberally penalise the Cosco Busan's inept Korean captain for the incident.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The National Trust Handbook for Members and Visitors =
This novel marks routes to Norman habitats in Bedford.

Rosie Perera with:
The Cat Genie Automatic Self-Flushing Self-Washing Litter Box =
Subtle: can swish all that feline excrement out of sight if I gag.

Adie Pena with:
The Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and the Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas =
Plain inept Bush as "Summit" mediator? Oh, the Middle East remains irreparable in the end!

Andrew Brehaut with:
President Musharraf passes military command to General Ashfaq Pervez Kayani =
Amazing, as after every mishap, Pakistan's damn conqueror left army's leadership .

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse =
Afford power that children obviously need.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse =
For the hundreds we force to play bad violin.

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse =
Heard often: don't club or whip five-year-olds!

Paul Pan with:
I vow to fend a filthy old cherub-panderer so...

Andrew Brehaut with:
Perverts fiddled with honour of a clean boy.

David Bourke with:
Do wish trouble for a filthy depraved nonce.

Christopher Sturdy with:
richly offered: adults - avoid porn on the web!

View with:
Wonderful pathfinder to avoid lechers, boy !

Jesse Frankovich with:
Find parents who court'd believe foolhardy.

Rosie Perera with:
Wife, don't slap the boy child around forever!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Lad hit pervert uncle who's fond of a boy ride.

Adie Pena with:
The evil who fondled, raped our frantic boys.

Rosie Perera with:
Dour father's violence toward boy? Find help.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Unafraid pervert fondled white schoolboy.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Behold if I had cruelty stop now and forever.

Neil Ramsay with:
We abhor foul depravity of stoned children.

Tony Crafter with:
I drove off adults who beat, prey on, children.

Tony Crafter with:
True vow - to shop any bad defiler of children

David Bourke with:
Frown - the valued priest fondled a choirboy.

Tony Crafter with:
"Vilify bad or foul hardcore!" - Pete Townshend

Rosie Perera with:
Founded to whip forced slavery in a brothel.

David Bourke with:
His pillow fun...Tony Crafter bedded a Hoover!

View with:
Oh, pederasty not rich love! Awful, forbidden!

Rosie Perera with:
Old offender, why touch sober lad in private?

View with:
A boner with poor child offends every adult.

witch wyzwurd with:
BROOD HID, HOWL. FOR VILE ACT: FEND; SPAY, NEUTER.

Dan Fortier with:
Reach with love!(You'd forbid parent fondles.)

Zoran Radislavlevic with:
1. Consider
2. Offer help
3. Evil dad won't hurt a boy!

Larry Brash with:
For the parson could never fiddle with a boy.

Adrian Hickford with:
Ordinary vehicle ... Blood's found ... Father wept.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The attractive woman was sitting alone in the bar when a young man approached her. "May I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"What, go to a hotel?" she screamed.

"No, no," protested the young man. "You misunderstood me. I just asked if you wanted a drink."

"What? You're asking me if I will go to a hotel?" she screamed, even louder.

Thoroughly bewildered, the man sloped off back to his table in the corner, while everybody glared at him indignantly.

After fifteen minutes or so, the girl came over to explain. "Hey, I'm sorry to have created such a scene back there," she said. "I'm a student of psychology, studying human behavior in unexpected situations."

The young man looked right back at her and shouted, "What? Two hundred dollars?"

=

Like most travel writers, Adam made for the hotel bar before checking into a room.

During his second drink, Adam caught the eye of a curvaceous blonde drinking alone. Not a man to miss an opportunity, he bought her a drink and commenced his usual chat-up routine. After their third whisky, he suggested they go up to his room. "I haven't registered my arrival yet," said Adam, "so why don't I say you are my wife?"

The blonde saw the logic in it, and they enjoyed a night of steamy love.

Next morning when Adam came down to check out, he was handed a bill for a thousand pounds. "What? That's absolutely outrageous! I've only stayed one night!" he protested.

"Yes," explained the clerk, "but your wife has been here all week! "

2nd - Adie Pena with:
Two prostitutes were riding around with a sign on their car which said: "Two Prostitutes: $69.69."

Seeing the blatant and shameless sign, a cop stopped them and told them to remove it or they would be arrested.

Soon thereafter, another car passed with a "JESUS SAVES" sign.

One of the ladies asked, "How come you don't stop them?"

"Well, that's kinda different," the officer flashed a smile. "Their sign is not on sex but about religion."
~
So the two shattered, sorriest bimbos just took it down without resistance and drove off.

Next day, the same officer of biased mind spotted the two foolish prostitutes driving again around the metropolis with a poster on their car.

Sensing he had an easy arrest, he caught up with the troublesome mademoiselles and he noticed the dauntless pair's latest sign which now read: "Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter: $69.69."

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Our BBC values:

Trust is the foundation of the BBC: we are independent, impartial and honest.

Audiences are at the heart of everything we do.

We take pride in delivering quality and value for money.

Creativity is the lifeblood of our organisation.

We respect each other and celebrate our diversity so that everyone can give their best.

We are one BBC: great things happen when we work together.

=

Their real values

They want to:

Encourage residents viewing any tired Australian whoopee like Neighbours and Home and Away

Create a quota of other British claptrap that no-one ever watches

Ensure everyone pays the dicky BBC one huge price for their ineptitude

Delegate new lords to serve within the BBC board

Rave about the intended benefits of converting from freeview to digital

Neil Ramsay with:
"Give me the money that has been spent in war and I will clothe every man, woman, and child in an attire of which kings and queens will be proud. I will build a schoolhouse in every valley over the whole earth. I will crown every hillside with a place of worship consecrated to peace."

Charles Sumner quote
=
"America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people."

"Bring them on."

Bush quotes on a vile, hellish, anarchical war he 'won' in Iraq.

How does the vindictive, malevolent, cynical, elderly clown presume he can act above the law?

And why is he wholeheartedly unwilling to withdraw?

Adie Pena with:
The Los Angeles strikers chanting about getting a share of new media profits: "Don't be greedy, don't be petty, you won't get your 'Ugly Betty.'"
=
Episode One: Neglected (yet gutsy) writers battle against haughty top network troglodytes for big bounty and huge monetary benefits.

Adie Pena with:
The Los Angeles strikers shouting about getting a bigger cut of the proceeds from Internet reruns: "On strike, shut 'em down. Hollywood's a union town.Ó
=
Episode Two: And network men begin to listen, discussing together forgotten matters, as they show us fucking Leno or O'Brien reruns all throughout.

Adie Pena with:
"Marcia don't Cross that picket line!" "We write the laughter for Teri Hatcher!" "We write the story-a for Eva Longoria!" "More money, Less Moonves!" "How much you earnin', Peter Chernin?" =

Episode Three: Oh, they can march forever, the hell I care! We're now monitoring awful, pretentious strike slogans, no? Moratorium or... Why can't they write more creative chants?!

David Bourke with:
Harriet Ruth Harman, the Deputy Leader and the Chair of
the Labour Party, the Minister for Women and Equality,
the Member of Parliament for Camberwell and Peckham, and
the Leader of the House of Commons=
How a mad left madam, head of Labour fraud, had no shame
...came a cropper for her remarkable finance misdemeanour!
The hypocrite queen...the truth won't normally bother her
pretty little feminist head, then!

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

2nd - Adie Pena with:
The End Of The World

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
A lady goes on a safari, taking her aged poodle, Timmy, along for company.

One day Timmy is chasing butterflies and soon discovers he's lost. Roaming around, he sees a lion heading quickly in his direction, looking for lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Hell! I am in deep poo!" Then, noticing some bones on the ground, he begins to chew them with his back to the lion. Just as the cat is about to leap, Timmy says, "Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder if there are any more around?"

Hearing this, the cat halts in mid-strike and slinks away into the trees saying, "Phew! "That was close! That old dog nearly had me to eat!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had seen everything, figures he can put his knowledge to use and trade it for protection. He heads off after the lion, but the poodle sees him and figures something must be up. The monkey catches up with the lion, tells all and strikes a deal.

The lion is furious at being fooled and replies, "Hop on my back, and just see what happens to that darn poodle!"

Timmy sees the lion coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What'll I do now?" But instead of leaving, he sits with his back to them, pretending he hasn't seen them, and just when they are close enough to hear, he says.

"Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!"

=

Leo the lion was drinking from a stream with his bottom in the air, just as Coco, a baboon, was passing by. From the monkey's viewpoint, the lion looked like Leonora (a lioness who had acquired a certain reputation for having loose morals) so the cheeky monkey crept up noiselessly from behind, intent on a bit of slap and tickle.

On feeling the monkey's sudden touch, the startled lion let out an almighty roar, and the monkey, now realising his mistake, took off like greased lightning, running goggle-eyed, through the jungle with the lion in hot pursuit.

The lion was gaining on Coco by the minute, and the monkey was just resigning himself to the possibility of a gruesome fate at the paws of his assassin, when he suddenly came across a hunter's camp.

Without further ado, the monkey dashed into the camp, donned a safari suit, whipped on a pith helmet, then nimbly threw himself into a chair, grabbed a copy of The Times and hid behind it as though he was reading.

The lion bounded into the clearing and screeched to a halt. As soon as the dust had settled, he asked, "Hey man, have you seen a monkey come dashing past here?"

"What monkey is this?" said Coco, "not the one that goosed the lion down by the stream?"

"Oh hell," said the lion, "don't tell me it's in the newspapers already."

View with:
In the ice sculpture
reflected bar mitzvah guests
nosh on chopped liver
=
Brazen circumcision!
Halved penis!...Theft, eh?
Let's get proved help - cut ours!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare

David Bourke with:
Get Here

The Anagrammy Awards

NOVEMBER, 2007 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY