FEBRUARY 2011 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2011

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Rosie Perera with:
Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi =
Aging, absurd, inflammatory madman.

2nd - David Bourke with:
The Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards =
I regret that he's still rocking, this dinosaur!

3rd - Adie Pena with:
The PM of Italy Silvio Berlusconi =
Stop the obviously criminal life.

Rosie Perera with:
Egyptian President Muhammad Hosni Sayyid Mubarak ~
makes unhappy men try ousting him, Arab media did say.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The German Chancellor Angela Dorothea Merkel =
Old men allege...ahem...a larger crack on the throne.

Rosie Perera with:
The German Chancellor Angela Dorothea Merkel =
Romance-challenged men look at her large...heart.

Ellie Dent with:
Herr Adolf Hitler and Fraulein Eva Braun =
Vain fuhrer, a blonde... all rather Freudian?

Ivan Andonov with:
Vlad III the Impaler =
I'll die a hit vampire!

David Bourke with:
President Hosni Mubarak ‡
Tremendous Arab kinship.

View with:
President Hosni Mubarak =
Riots punish and break me.

Adie Pena with:
Pieter Cornelis Mondriaan =
I need an art in prime colors.

Adie Pena with:
President Mubarak ~
bankrupted armies.

John Fidler with:
Sally Bercow =
Yo, screwball!

Adie Pena with:
Hosni Mubarak =
Arab: "Oh, I'm sunk!"

David Bourke with:
The late guitarist Gary Moore RIP =
A sorry repair to the ultimate gig.

Scott Gardner with:
The singer Christina Aguilera =
"Genie" is a regular hit in charts!

Tony Crafter with:
The American singer Christina Aguilera =
I err reciting US anthem. I change air, alas!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Italian sculptor Michelangelo Buonarroti =
He shall cut marble contour into original Pieta.

Dean Mayer with:
Stieg Larsson =
Star sign's Leo.

Harshal M. with:
Hades =
Shade.

Ellie Dent with:
Thomas C. Eakins =
So, I sketch a man.

Harshal M. with:
The splendid Renaissance artist Michelangelo ~
can model real art designs in the Sistine Chapel!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Libyan dictator Colonel Muammar Gaddafi =
A cold aim: die a martyr, and go in full combat.

Scott Gardner with:
The Colonel Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi =
Tough maniacal madman made ruler of Libya

Adie Pena with:
Colonel Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi =
I am a mad, ugly-uniformed local Arab man.

Adie Pena with:
Colonel Gadhafi ‡
An all-good chief.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sharon Vonne Stone =
No, never has tons on!

Scott Gardner with:
Actress Natalie Portman =
Oscar name, in latest part.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
TOP 10 RICHEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD
1. United States
2. China
3. Japan
4. India
5. Germany
6. United Kingdom
7. Russia
8. France
9. Brazil
10. Italy
=
TOP 10 WORTHLESS CITIZENS IN SOCIETY
1. Junkie
2. Underpaid
3. Hated
4. Cannibal
5. Lunatic
6. Horny
7. Frigid
8. Rude
9. Nastier
10. Anagrammatist

2nd - David Bourke with:
The White House's former intern Monica Samille Lewinsky =
Yes, it's a female who *likes* Mr. Clinton's wiener in her mouth!

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "You must help me! I cannot stop frying everything. I even deep-fried the cat! What is wrong with me?" =
Given the non-stop symptoms, which do match evidence, means we get insight. It appears that you're frittering your life away.

Christopher Sturdy with:
These high-brow examples of humanity: Paul Cook, Steve Jones, Glen Matlock, Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious. =
Manic punk outfit who gave you "Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols" enjoying Clash and Jam too.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"A picture is a poem without words." (the Roman poet Horace) =
He said, "We compare each minor photo to a writer's output".

Adie Pena with:
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." [Aristotle] =
But some do hope it will be a sociologist's diagnosis for Valentine.

Scott Gardner with:
Michelangelo Buonarroti's fresco "The Last Judgement" =
Lord Jesus among elect host in the center of a big mural

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." - Persian mystic Rumi =
A hale honeymooner or mirthless mum will agree, it's the perfect lyric on Valentine's Day!

Christopher Sturdy with:
ol�o�gy
�noun, plural -gies. Informal or Facetious. Any science or branch of knowledge.
=
Wikipedia
Colourful source many go on for boring facts nearly no-one challenges.

David Bourke with:
It's so often said that if one can remember the Sixties at all, then you weren't actually there! =
Really out of it, I salute the Beatles...Stones...Hendrix... The Who...Cream...Santana...Free...Tiny Tim, etc!

Dharam Khalsa with:
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." � Robert Charles Benchley =
When a friend enters, go greet him.
Don't slobber in the car.
Obey teacher/leader.
Don't bully ferocious cats.
Nap every day.

Harshal M. with:
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe =
Battle of heroic, connate children with one darn harsh White!

Tony Crafter with:
'Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.� Lucius Seneca =
Anger is not a psychotic conundrum. Ooh no. It's this cathartic ingredient WE HOTHEADS HAVE WHICH STIMULATES ADRENALINE!!

Rosie Perera with:
Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons =
Office might hope to ban ricin hits in a war zone or a pool.

Ivan Andonov with:
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. - George Carlin =
If weird, slick comedian jeers church, few will not go laughing out loud.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
IS THERE SEX AFTER DEATH?

An older married couple made an agreement that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was any sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was actually nothing at all after death.

After their long life together, the husband was the first one to go and, true to his word, he made first contact:

"Hello, Marion... Marion, are you there?"

"Yes, yes... Please... Is that you, Bobby?"

"Yes, my dear, it is. And, yes, I have come back to make contact with you as we promised."

"That is wonderful, dear! What is it all like?"

"Well... it is pretty great. I get up in the mornings, and I have sex. I have breakfast and then it is off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.

Then I have a long lunch (you would be proud of me - I'm eating lots and lots of greens now).

Another romp around the golf course, then it is pretty much more sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, well, it is back to the old golf course again.

Then it is more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh yes! Bobby, are you in Heaven?"

"No, no, no... you don't understand... I'm a rabbit in Gundagai!"

=

A man in Brisbane rings his son in Adelaide about two days before Xmas and tells him, "Steve, mate, hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and me are divorcing; after exactly forty years of woeful misery between us."

"What are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't even stand the sight of each other for one minute longer, mate." the father replies, "We are sick of each other, and besides, I am tired enough of talking about it, so you call your sister, Marie, in Darwin and tell her too, mate."

Frantic, the extremely agitated son calls his sister, who, explodes on the phone.

"The idea! No chance, Steve! Stuff that one! The senile duet ain't getting a divorce!" she shouts out, "I'll fix them, mate. Fix them up good and sweet."

She calls up Brisbane straight away and explodes at her father:

"You are not getting a divorce. Don't do a thing before I get there. I am calling my brother back, and after we will both be out over there tomorrow to meet up, until then, wait." and repeats, "Don't do a thing. DO YOU HEAR ME, FATHER?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, faces his wife and tells her.

"OK, Kate, that's all fixed. They are coming for Christmas and even paying their own air fares."

2nd - Ember Nickel with:
Whichever states we go to, we see that changes in weather lead some people to do weird things.

At 60 degrees, some Floridians turn on their heaters.
At 50 degrees, people in Cuba shiver uncontrollably while their teeth chatter.
At 40 degrees, none of the cars in Germany or England will start.
At 32 degrees, distilled water freezes. Tea, too.
At 20 degrees, people in Florida put on some big warm coats, pairs of thermal underwear, and wooly ski masks.
At 15 degrees, landlords in New York and Boston finally turn up their buildings' heat, while parents warn their sons not to go outside.
At 0 degrees, everyone in Miami dies.
At 10 below 0, Californians see snow and, at their wits' end, fly south to dry, torrid, Mexico.
At 25 below 0, stock in thick clothing goes up, but Hollywood disintegrates.
At 40 below 0, Washington DC just suddenly runs out of hot air.
At 100 below 0, Santa Claus goes south for the winter.
At 460 below 0, all atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
At 500 below 0, hell freezes over.

=

All this faraway action at changing temperatures has men and women in Minnesota puzzled. I reckon that it is milder here. Or others find it real hard to handle things...

At 60 degrees, people in Duluth plant their gardens.
At 50 degrees, we try suntanning.
At 40 degrees, if they feel warm, Ramsey County natives drive with all the windows down.
At 32 degrees, the water in Bemidji gets thicker.
At 20 degrees, we throw on our flannel shirts.
At 15 degrees, St. Paul natives have the last cookouts before it gets too cold.
At 0 degrees, we close all the windows.
At 10 below 0, we get out our winter coats and skis.
At 25 below 0, hardy Girl Scouts in Hennepin County sell boxes of Trefoil cookies door to door.
At 40 below 0, Minneapolis residents let their lazy dogs sleep indoors.
At 100 below 0, we are all mad or upset because it is hard for anyone's snowmobiles to start.
At 460 below 0, we begin to ask if it is "Cold enough for you?"
At 500 below 0, the governor orders all Minnesota public schools to open three hours late.

eq3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Sonnet 18

eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:
To be, or not to be, innit

Harshal M. with:
I am a number.
Which number am I?

I'm a number that is used everyday.
Oh, an ordinary amount of points in a triangle.
Check these words: 'triple', 'trio'; also 'troika'
Also, I'm George Bush's real IQ.
Eighty minus seventy-seven.

Oh and a little last reference I want to tell.
No words in this puzzle have me in letters!

WHAT AM I?

=

So I am holding another number up.
Overwhelmed?
Puzzled?
Go manage it!

This is rather an equality in months in a year.
The value in symbols on a clock.
And it's four times three (an estimate).
It follows tin anniversary twice. Old, eh?

But I perceive a last surmise...
The integer's remarkably not here in words!

WHAT AM I?

View with:
"Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself." =
War, nemesis, torment, ordeal, strike, affliction, lash, woe are human inventions... So many dull words for the futile, hostile plight.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Ole goes out one day to use the outhouse, and he finds Sven there in a fix. Sven has his wallet out, and he's throwing money into the big hole in the outhouse.

Ole asks, "Sven, watcha doin' there, fella? You're throwing the five dollar bill and the ten dollar bill down into the big hole! Whatcha doin' that for?"

Sven answers, "Well, when I zipped my trousers I dropped a nickel down there - and I'm not gonna go down into that black murky mess to grab only a nickel!"

=

Ole went to the Sons of Norway Hall on Friday evening for a scheduled meeting and won the door prize, which was a new toilet brush, no less! He was so thrilled he had won even one thing that he hurried home to use it vigorously and often.

At a lull in the next scheduled meeting, as smalltalk, Sven asked Ole what he won and if he liked it or not. "Sven, I only won a toilet brush. It's good," he continued, "but I think I'm probably gonna go back to paper shortly."

Dharam Khalsa with:
An old woman had 50-yard-line tickets for the Super Bowl, and as she sat down, an elderly man came along and asked her if anyone was sitting in the seat beside her.

"No," she said, "the seat is empty. You may sit here,"

"That is very incredible!" said the man, "But who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, for the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

The woman answered, "Well, I purchased both seats. The other seat actually belongs to me...

=

I planned to come here to watch the game with my husband, but he passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't attended together since the wedding 50 years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear it. It's a shame, but I know you could've found someone else in an instant - friend, grandson, relative, or neighbor - thrilled to be a stand-in. Why be stoic? This seat is ideal!" the man asserted.

The woman shook her head awkwardly, snapping, "Listen, they're all still assembled at the funeral!"

Adie Pena with:
The victims of the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre

Dharam Khalsa with:
Quote by Robert Benchley

Dharam Khalsa with:
A Few of the Most Famous Teen Movies from the '80s:

"Back to the Future"
"Sixteen Candles"
"The Lost Boys"
"The Breakfast Club"
"Pretty in Pink"
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off"
"Can't Buy Me Love"
"St. Elmo's Fire"
"Valley Girl"
"Say Anything"

=

Styles of the 80's Teen:

Big hair (Mom's tall "beehive"? Different story!)
Mohawk
Ray Bans
Buff mesh tee
Fluorescent-motif tee
Vinyl stuff
Rayon tuxedo
Button-fly Levi's
Parachute pants
Argyle socks
Metallic Reeboks

Yaveth with:
Leading plan

Dharam Khalsa with:
This is the House that Jack Built

Dharam Khalsa with:
Quote by Robert Benchley

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
Afternoon In February

2nd - Harshal M. with:
Here is a set of 18 Scripps National Spelling Bee winning words anagrammed into another set.
gladiolus + deteriorating + sanitarium + canonical + semaphore + psychiatry + vignette + schappe + esquamulose + sycophant + abalone + incisor + milieu + spoliator + fibranne + kamikaze + succedaneum + stromuhr =
albumen + knack + therapy + initials + soubrette + condominium + syllepsis + catamaran + smaragdine + equipage + eczema + psoriasis + Purim + staphylococci + antediluvian + logorrhea + autochthonous + serrefine

The digits in the years that these words were spelled are an anagram, too, making this doubly-true.
1925 + 1934 + 1938 + 1939 + 1946 + 1948 + 1952 + 1957 + 1962 + 1964 + 1968 + 1975 + 1985 + 1989 + 1990 + 1993 + 2001 + 2010 =
1928 + 1932 + 1940 + 1941 + 1953 + 1956 + 1958 + 1959 + 1961 + 1963 + 1965 + 1982 + 1983 + 1987 + 1994 + 1999 + 2004 + 2007

eq3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
If

eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Do not stand at my grave and weep

Tony Crafter with:
Subject: THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND BAILOUT PACKAGE.

It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down and the streets are quiet and deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.

On this particular day, a rich German tourist is driving through the town. He stops at the local hotel and lays a £100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wishes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to select a quiet one to spend the night in.

The owner gives him all the room keys and, as soon as the visitor has gone upstairs, the hotelier grabs the hundred-euro note and rushes next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the hundred-euro note and runs off down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the hundred-euro note and sets off to pay his bill at the suppliers of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-operative takes the hundred-euro note and goes off to pay his drinks bill at the pub.

The publican quietly slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar. She is also facing extreme hardship and has had to offer him "extra services" on credit.

The woman quickly dashes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the proprietor with the hundred-euro note.

The hotelier immediately places the £100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the note, says that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and is looking to the future with a great deal more optimism.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.

=

THE HEINOUS HERO

Once upon a time, in far Bavaria, there was a beautiful Queen with very large breasts. Peter the Dragon Slayer obsessed over her for this very reason. He knew that the penalty, should he ever try to touch them, was instant death; but he just had to try.

One day, Peter revealed his secret yearning to his pal Lento, the King's doctor. Lento thought about it and said that he could arrange for Peter to satisfy this desire, but it would cost him a 100 gold coins to orchestrate the corroboration.

Peter readily agreed to this.

The next day, Lento made a batch of itching powder and sprinkled a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. After she dressed, the itching began instantly and soon became intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to look into this matter, Lento informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, applied for four hours, could cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that Peter's saliva would work as the antidote.

The King, anxious to help his wife, summoned Peter to their chambers.

Lento then slipped Peter the antidote to the itching powder, which Peter put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, he worked passionately on the Queen's glorious breasts. Her itching was eventually relieved, and Peter left the room satisfied and hailed as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, he found Lento seeking payment of the 100 gold coins. With his kinky obsession now satisfied, Peter couldn't care less and, knowing that the doctor could never report the matter to the King, told him to get out.

Later that day, Lento slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King hastily summoned Peter to his room...

The moral of the story?

Pay all your debts!!!

View with:
Imagine

Ellie Dent with:
Money, get away

Dharam Khalsa with:
This is the House that Jack Built [version II]

The Anagrammy Awards

FEBRUARY 2011 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY