Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2011


1st - Tony Crafter with:
Money is the root of all evil =
Yet the love of oil is normal?

2nd - Larry Brash with:
North American Indian =
Red man in a rich nation.

3rd - Ivan Andonov with:
The spoiler =
Plot is here.

View with:
Contraction is ~
a constriction.

Ivan Andonov with:
You have the right to remain silent! =
Tough line in trashy movie theater.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Gluten-free baked goods =
Seek to end bagged flour.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Headline chaser =
Charlie Sheen ad?

View with:
Kilometers =
Trek 'o miles.

Harshal M. with:
Solitary confinement =
Nice at first? No! ONLY ME!!!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
No one can use logic for ~
a foregone conclusion.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Up to one's neck in debt =
OK, but decent pension?

Dharam Khalsa with:
He's up to his neck in debt =
Bed's in the soup kitchen

Richard Grantham with:
A scoundrel =
No-rules cad.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
United States treasury bond =
Unsubstantiated destroyer.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Smoking is harmful to your health =
Inhale, almost sky-high, for tumour.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Somatoparaphrenia =
No arm to shape a pair?

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Autobiographies =
I author bio pages.

Ellie Dent with:
Selling goods at auction ~
got us into closing a deal.

Harshal M. with:
Say "Be good," ~
as "Good-bye."

Rosie Perera with:
Another spectacular ~
nuclear catastrophe!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Damaged infrastructure =
Dramatic future dangers.

Rosie Perera with:
Anxious, I reported a ~
radiation exposure.

Dean Mayer with:
Is rape, then manslaughter, not ~
something rather unpleasant?

Larry Brash with:
A top-class restaurant =
Puts stars on à la carte.

Dean Mayer with:
The religious person =
See holier posturing

Ellie Dent with:
Simple and elegant =
Let me design a plan.

Adie Pena with:
Computerised accounting systems =
U.S. company's cost-cutting remedies?

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Domestic harmony ‡
I do cheat on my Mrs.

Rosie Perera with:
Marital fidelity ‡
I met a lady; I flirt.

Harshal M. with:
Ads =

Dikensi with:
Verbalists =
Best rivals.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
LAN for a video monitor =
Information overload.

Adie Pena with:
Unidentified flying objects =
ET enjoyed lift in big fun disc!

Rosie Perera with:
Certified Copy Editor =
Edified, I correct typo.

Rosie Perera with:
Digital marketing =
I'm "liking" ad target.

Rosie Perera with:
Computer illiteracy among seniors =
Migraine! I can't scroll, type, or mouse.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The birth certificate of President Obama =
Note a third-trimester babe of the Pacific .

Larry Brash with:
Software solution =
It's a new tool for us.

Rosie Perera with:
Horde was at ~
a trade show.

David Bourke with:
Paid intercourse =
Pernicious trade

Harshal M. with:
Men go home to play ~
the game Monopoly.

Meyran Kraus with:
Quit it 'cold turkey' =
Do it utterly quick!


1st - Adie Pena with:
Bond's adversary =
Very badass Dr. No.

2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Tinman, the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion =
Still an enchanted crew on camera with Dorothy.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The singer and blues guitarist Eric Clapton =
Regrets cocaine...but still standing up, I hear!

View with:
Best actor Colin Firth =
Lift the Os-c-c-ar, Briton!

Ellie Dent with:
Michelangelo's 'Creation of Adam' ~
is the clear and cool image of Man.

Ellie Dent with:
Oscar winning movie, 'The King's Speech' =
Showing speaking voice's enrichment.

Rosie Perera with:
The luck of the Irish =
Oh, it's the rich fluke.

Tony Crafter with:
Aerosmith's Steven Tyler =
I'm the very toneless star.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Operatics =
Ears cop it!

Rosie Perera with:
John Cage's musical composition "Four, thirty-three" =
Major iconic piece's shy silent format throughout.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Dancing With the Stars - Season Twelve" =
See talents and grace win this TV show.

Harshal M. with:
'The Social Network' = Like the actors!

Andrew Brehaut with:
The White Album =
Hum with Beatle.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Actress Natalie Portman as Nina Sayers in Black Swan =
Takes an insane ballerina, cast many parts; wins Oscar.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Actress Elizabeth Taylor =
Eyes blitz Scarlett O'Hara.

Meyran Kraus with:
The historical drama film 'The King's Speech' =
This does help a stammering rich chief talk!


1st - View with:
Nuclear disaster at Fukushima =
Tsunami rush caused a rift & leak.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Eastern cougar =
Rare US cat gone.

3rd - David Bourke with:
Power stations in meltdown ~
is news to an impotent world.

David Bourke with:
United Nations Security Council resolutions =
Sanction! It sure could ensure oil's continuity!

View with:
A Nessie-like serpent =
Reptile (snake?) is seen!

Rosie Perera with:
Wisconsin to cut collective bargaining rights? =
Critics: "What goats! It'll give unions big concern."

Dharam Khalsa with:
Celebrating the great man Theodor Seuss Geisel =
Ooh, I select literature's best: "Green Eggs and Ham"

Rosie Perera with:
A happy ending to farmer's anus woes =
Man opened passageway for shit run.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Yellow sac spiders ~
speedily slow cars.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Subway surpasses McDonald's as world's largest chain =
A crusty sandwich smörgåsbord, plus salads » new sales!

Adie Pena with:
The eruption of Kilauea Volcano =
Look out! Notice upheaval in fear!

Adie Pena with:
Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture, Northeastern Japan =
Tsunami in there! Present area facing jeopardy!

Ellie Dent with:
Modern nuclear installations =
Electrons roll ... and in a tsunami?

View with:
Japan's death toll =
A planet had jolts.

David Bourke with:
Earthquake + tsunami =
Trauma, quite shaken.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Raise the US debt ceiling? Them? =
Laughter is the best medicine.

Adie Pena with:
Nuclear disaster at Fukushima =
Tsunami struck. Failures ahead?

Ellie Dent with:
As Winter loosens its grip ~
its loss ... we are into Spring!

Rosie Perera with:
Spent nuclear fuel rods ~
could present funerals.

Ellie Dent with:
Dangers of radiation =
A gent afraid, indoors.

Tony Crafter with:
Saint Patrick's Day, New York =
City Yanks risk town parade.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The luck of the Irish =
It's the Cork life, huh?

Ivan Andonov with:
A West African ~
awaits France.

David Bourke with:
Tories/Liberals provide ~
Levitra orodispersible

Tony Crafter with:
The AC Milan presidente Silvio Berlusconi =
Nuisance loves illicit three-in-a-bed romps!

Dean Mayer with:
Passing of screen icon Elizabeth Taylor =
Once fashionable actress (glitzy one) - RIP.

Rick Rothstein with:
The legendary actress Elizabeth Taylor =
Geez y'all, another celebrity star's death.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Egyptian rebels ~
get Libyan peers.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Libyan Desert =
They sit and rebel.

Larry Brash with:
New South Wales Labor Party =
Alas, we're thrown out by pals!

Christopher Sturdy with:
England falters in the Cricket again =
Getting decent, Sri Lanka reach final.


1st - Adie Pena with:
Sir Thomas Sean Connery ‡
He is an ornery Scotsman.

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The US President Barack Obama =
Skeptic: "Oh dear, must be an Arab!"

Meyran Kraus with:
The Libyan leader Gaddafi =
A hated reign failed badly.

Larry Brash with:
Carlos Irwin Estevez (actor Charlie Sheen) =
Ironic answer: he's the craziest local ever.

View with:
The architect Antoni Gaudi =
A neat church got initiated.

Tony Crafter with:
Ghislaine Maxwell =
An illegal sex whim.

Tony Crafter with:
Lawrence Ferlinghetti =
Challenge if rewritten!

Ivan Andonov with:
Prince Albert the Second of Monaco =
Chap scored benefit on Monte Carlo.

View with:
Austin Taylor Bice =
In a brutal society.

Adie Pena with:
Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva =
Berserk man! Gal is avoiding a goon!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva ~
are a bad game (no loving or kissing).

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart =
Am god among awful ersatz.

Ellie Dent with:
The Libyan dictator Colonel Gaddafi =
Facing bloody riot ... and called it hate.

Tony Crafter with:
Wallis, The Duchess of Windsor =
Edward's selfish, no-soul witch!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Emilie Charlotte Langtry =
The girl a royal client met

Ivan Andonov with:
Aragorn the Second =
A Gondor chastener.

Harshal M. with:
President George Bush =
Bugger! He is so pretend!!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor =
Need boys to thrill or amaze!

Ellie Dent with:
Sir Sean Connery, the greatest ever 'Bond' =
Best screen god: one stern hairy veteran!

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Libyan leader is Colonel Muammar Gaddafi =
Media's alleged I am one mad North Africa bully.


1st - Adie Pena with:
The Statue of Liberty, New York =
To be truly free, as they know it.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
George Bush Intercontinental Airport =
Nice big plane-terror target in Houston.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Mount Rushmore National Memorial, South Dakota =
Ah, look! A monument in art to our immortal US heads!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Seven Deadly Sins, Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins =
Classic evils ascertained, as in sloth, pride and envy.

David Bourke with:
The Office of National Statistics =
Fiction as "facts" often has to lie!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Port of Marseilles =
Shelter pilot from sea.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The port of Tripoli, Libya =
I help rat to profit by oil.

View with:
Ras Lanuf, Libya =
Unify all Arabs!

Larry Brash with:
The Veterans Review Board =
The war brave need vote, sir.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
National Public Radio =
Diabolical union trap.

Ellie Dent with:
Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency =
Naturally finds any science graduate.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Diploma of Collegial Studies =
Life so simple a gal could do it.

Ellie Dent with:
Optical Express =
Top specs! I relax!

View with:
The Michelin Stars ~
hints richest meal.

David Bourke with:
The Professional Cookware Company =
Real choice! Pots, pans...okay for women!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Assured Safe Catering =
Suss cafeteria danger.

Harshal M. with:
Universal Studios Company =
Class upon a movie industry!

Ivan Andonov with:
The A.C. Milan board =
Lombardian cheat.

Adie Pena with:
Spectator to get chili levels on ~
the Scoville Organoleptic Test.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Planet Mercury in our solar system of the Milky Way =
Life's pretty unlikely, my son; rays are much too warm!


1st - Ellie Dent with:
One day, this bear walked up to the Hogshead Bar, the West's busiest and smartest bar, and he said,
'Howdy! I'll have a Gin and................................ tonic.' =
'Cool. But why the big pause?' asked the bartender.
The old bear stared at his hands, and said: 'Aw, it's nothing, son. I've always had 'em.'

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
It is stated that one in five people born in the world is Chinese...

Er, heck, there are five in my family, so it must be one ~ of them! It's either Ma, Pa, or one of my brothers: Clive and Nee-Lee Yen Wen.

This is a definite poser.

But I think it's Clive.

3rd - Harshal M. with:
1. General
2. Entertainment
3. Topical
4. Peoples Names
5. Other Names
6. Medium
7. Long
8. Special
9. Challenge
10. Rude
1. Common
2. Nice amusement
3. Darn Israel gone
4. Puerile things
5. Great
6. Complete sentence
7. Appeal
8. Ode
9. Anagrammy's heart
10. Illegal

David Bourke with:
John Galliano, the former designer with Christian Dior =
Finished! All ignore the horrid, racist, Jew-hating moron!

Harshal M. with:
Teacher: "Joe, your nose is made for smelling things, and your feet were meant to run fast with mighty strength." =
Joe: "Ha-ha, wrong, I utter, if my feet smell downright nasty, and my nose seems to run?! Sure thing. Forget it, teacher!"

Dean Mayer with:
The bigamist is described as a man who has one wife too many. The monogamist is, of course, identical =
Idiotic statement of misogynism ('woman-hating' - so idiotic!; same as 'a bachelor who has been refused')

Adie Pena with:
The Australian model George Lazenby in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" =
Everyone surely still can't recognize him as a greatest James Bond here.

Ellie Dent with:
AN ODE: All of mother Nature seems to be at work; bees are stirring; idle slugs leave their lairs. Happy birds are on the wing.
BREAKOUT: Winter slumbers in the open air. She, too wears a regal grin that tells - I do believe - she already dreams of Spring.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives ~
is an umbrella to cover such a heap of excise for bad loot.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders =
It's still a tome a mind doctor reads if sat handling a nutcase.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow." (old proverb) =
Moonlit night plowers
Volunteer powers
To adorn bright flowers.

Adie Pena with:
"Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress?" [Prince Charles]
The creep to sever ties, if necessary, with the pretty Princess Di for Camilla, a monstrously obnoxious hoe.

David Bourke with:
The late actress Dame Elizabeth Rosemond Hilton-Wilding-Todd-Fisher-Burton-Warner-Fortensky-Taylor =
The serially-horizontal film legend tyrant romanced with/terrorised a network of besotted husbands!

Christopher Sturdy with:
It's rather obvious that people are angry and have had enough of a brutal and undemocratic regime, when...
a huge critical mob had a gun, a bastard they hate and one free idea:
overthrow his unpopular government!

View with:
Royal Wedding Reception Guests Will Get the 'Best of British' =
We'd get glorious fish and chips; beer in wet, glittery bottles!


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"An earthquake achieves what the law promises but does not in practice maintain - the equality of all men" - Ignazio Silone =

Quite  a  loca  quiver  hit
Uniting   them    with   me;
Alas, one asset it may scar -
Kind people  in a zone afar,
Each  blown  into  the  sea.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
"An earthquake achieves what the law promises but does not in practice maintain - the equality of all men" - Ignazio Silone =
Whether it happens in Haiti, N. Zealand, or a coastline tsunami north of Tokyo, we see all victims became quite equal again.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
"An earthquake achieves what the law promises but does not in practice maintain - the equality of all men" - Ignazio Silone =
When you are in that danger zone, it is best to quit that whole place in a calm fashion, please. (I mean MOVE IT, as in, REAL QUICK!)

View with:
Aye, amazing consequence of earth's shake is a total 'people equilibrium', tie rich with an insolvent; town, ait and a hamlet!

Christopher Sturdy with:
If a man questions how anagrams help Christchurch, New Zealand, I believe it meant quite a lot.
I look on at pain yet ease it.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Even Queen Elizabeth is initially shook up when a tectonic plate motion's aftermath is a hair's damage in a croquet lawn

Ellie Dent with:
I believe a queen with wealth, or a lazy peasant is hit alike; is equal and is impotent, 'cos no one can match Nature for might.

Dharam Khalsa with:
With a dramatic rotation in quartz, people awaken in chaos, see the infants, become equally humane, leaving hostilities.

Ellie Dent with:
Italian poet, he realizes that anyone might quail, left shaken in a dramatic seismic event...but now each is poor, equal now.

Dharam Khalsa with:
If a tsunami can come in with a shake, it is a noble proper etiquette to march equally to high elevations, as in New Zealand.

Dharam Khalsa with:
I note, athlete Chris has no qualms about quake zone victim relief appeals with yon 'Anagram Aid' site. We can tithe online!

Adie Pena with:
Alack, the woe again! These humanitarians empathize specially with Secondino Tranquilli's quotation of bereavement.

Tony Crafter with:
Ha! Equally, I claim, a tsunami's eerie might can wreak havoc on the best equipped nations, to raze towns; to annihilate life

Larry Brash with:
That queer shake of a top New Zealand city or the utopian Asian isle near China, to whom all men it victimises being equal.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Wealthiest queen, pithiest democrat, czar, general, his foe, woman, man, youth - no inhabitant is special in a volatile quake!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Floods antagonize a political machine.
Then calmly, I seek quarters
In a penthouse above the waters;
Quiet mania within.

Harshal M. with:
Well, I sight the said quality,
In true care of an equal citizen:
One pal's name is top; have that be ME,
Oh, know America's nation!

Adie Pena with:
Not a tremble in Christchurch, an ooze of lava in Hawaii, a leakage in Sendai? Now's a quietest time to quell the empty pains.

Rosie Perera with:
Whether a big lifetime quake hits Haiti (as a repeat), NZ, Panama, or the USA, it *won't* send all into equal economic insolvency.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Named author has a point: I see all citizens aren't equal.
No, it may take oceanic shifts with overwhelming pain to be equal.

Dean Mayer with:
There's a qualification to that - it is amazingly hard to maintain some equivalence when we people are unstable / in shock

Christopher Sturdy with:
Amazing how quickly a positive attitude can help abate a crisis. Faith's the requirement - an emotion when one's all alone.

David Bourke with:
Sizeable tectonic plate movements, aquatic hell...anyone Kiwi, Nip and Hawaiian sure get more than their quota. Fish, also!

Christopher Sturdy with:
One action biopic

A movie that may win a prize
When all things are equal;
The title is "Tsunami One"
And "Aftershock" a sequel

Dharam Khalsa with:
I'm aware of a blatant separate quake victimizing the union employees in Wisconsin and Ohio - let's quell that heartache!

Ellie Dent with:
Accept Nature; it is an equalizer, that may not however annihilate Man's good qualities - who can hope in life's bleak times.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Beat a quiz question - Which nation in Asia had a fierce tsunami killing people at home or lost at sea, March twenty-eleven?

Dharam Khalsa with:
I hope we acquaintances won't be at all hasty to make light of one traumatic event, an equalizer, as ironies diminish help.

Ellie Dent with:
I have watched the skies
as lost in contemplation;
if Nature may equalize,
bring contamination,
we *all* share a quiet hope.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Tell me how I can earn a lot to help equip the homeless.
A quick visit to the AnagramAid site; use a zany brain to win finance.

Ellie Dent with:
I saw a quote, and
every man himself,
not in a quiet stable:
at a high location,
in a camp, when our
stricken seize a
little hope.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Quake, tsunami: problematic phenomena
Radiation: a senseless threat of wealthy civilization --
Each not equal in weight.

Dharam Khalsa with:
I question this 'infallible' statement. How is Asian evacuation
encampment an equalizer to rich, poor, healthy, weak, aged?

Christopher Sturdy with:
What elicits more chaos?

Al Qaeda?
A megaton of TNT?
Us people?
A 'size nine' earthquake?

Why, invincible nature.
It has no limit.

Tony Crafter with:
"Hell, we who can rise from Hiroshima's intense devastation, can equally unite to beat a titanic 'quake hit."
Amazing people!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Men honour stricken people who, alone in a crisis, show enviable qualities that amaze; a quiet dignity, then a calm at fate.

Ellie Dent with:
A quake is rattlin',
while a million hail peace
of the Rising Sun.

The event and now
quiet peace amazes Man,
to boost charity

Adie Pena with:
Never quit in a cataclysm. The league of all men, assistance, work equipment, ideal habitations, hope ... await in the horizon.

Ellie Dent with:
Earth rumbles awhile
a grotesque evil tap dance:

Pain to hit in a
moment, take who has a life:

Dharam Khalsa with:
There's a quake zone victim,
While painful to depict him,
A web yen allocation
Equals area sanitation;
Then he's not as grim.

Ellie Dent with:
Aqua sky at noon
fish swim in the idle sea:
a nuclear plant

Ooh citizen, Earth
is moving quite a little:
Earth became weapon.


1st - Tony Crafter with:
I was alone at the bar, just staring at my Scotch when a really huge biker stepped up to me, picked up my drink and downed it in one gulp.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about that?" he said menacingly, as I dissolved into tears.

"Oh, come on, man," the biker said, "Hell, I didn't think you'd cry. I hate to see a man cry."

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late for work and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found that my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet behind in the cab home. Then I found my old lady in bed with the delivery man, and, to cap it all, my dog Curtis bit me."

"So I came here to work up the courage to end it all. I bought a drink, dropped a cyanide capsule in and watched the poison dissolve. Then you, you asshole, showed up and drank the lot! But enough about me, how's your day going?"


A smart-looking lady went into a pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eye and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide'

The pharmacist asked, 'Now, why in the world would you be needing cyanide?'

The woman answered, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

'Lord have mercy!' cried the dumbfounded man. 'You want me to sell you cyanide to kill off your husband? I could never agree to that because it's against the law! I'd be compromised, and I'd lose my license. Then, after that, they'd sling us both in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. So, I am NOT giving you any cyanide. Absolutely not!'

The woman reached into her bag and took out a picture showing her husband, in bed, making love to the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Ah... now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Six Irishmen are playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses five hundred pounds on a single hand, clutches his chest, quivers, and drops dead at the table. Yet, out of respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

O'Connor asks, "Well me boys, someone's got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"

They draw straws. Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and try not to make the bad situation any worse.

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and raps on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks him what he wants.

He declares, "Your husband just lost five hundred pounds on a single hand, and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" says Murphy's wife.

Gallagher says, "I'll go tell him."


Mary O'Donnell goes up to old Father O'Grady's office after a neighbourhood Sunday morning worship service and knocks on his door. When he answers, she's huddled attempting to hold back emotional tears.

Perplexed, the jolly silver-haired man greets her, "Mary O'Donnell! So, what's troubling ye this fine morning?"

Controlling her choked sobbing, Mary pronounces, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. Me cantankerous old husband passed away last night."

The sympathetic priest says, "Good Lord, Mary, that's truly awful news. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"

Thus, the woman says, "That he did, Father. He made a small supplication."

The old priest pursues supportively, "What did he say?"

She responds, "He said, Mary, if ye will please put down that gun....."

3rd - Adie Pena with:
The 12 Oscar Nominations of Katharine Hepburn
1. "Morning Glory"
2. "Alice Adams"
3. "The Philadelphia Story
4. "Woman of the Year"
5. "The African Queen"
6. "Summertime"
7. "The Rainmaker"
8. "Suddenly, Last Summer"
9. "Long Day's Journey Into Night"
10. "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"
11. "The Lion in Winter"
12. "On Golden Pond"


The 12 Major Failures of George Bush
1. Annoyingly 'mis-spoke' all the time
2. "Katrina?! Oh, I am on a holiday!"
3. Crony henchmen
4. Hey, no WMDs!
5. Personal liquor
6. "I permitted torture!"
7. Moronic management
8. Handling of Middle East
9. An honest nation?!
10. War on drugs!?
11. The twins!!
12. Running the U.S. Presidency.

Dharam Khalsa with:
So, our heroic public union employee, overwrought tea partier, and office CEO are at the table with coffee (Wow, why?) looking at the plate of a dozen cookies set there in front. ~
Gobbling eleven of the dozen cookies from the plate, the corporate CEO warns the tea partier, "I'd watch out for that union fellow if I were you - he wants a piece of your cookie!"

View with:
"In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst."=
The witty honest Oscar Wilde statement. We are egoists with the internal, hidden, wrong nature - total egotists! Oh, nothing's right!

Rosie Perera with:
Irish Blessing: "May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand." =
May you have a blessed Saint Paddy's Day. May you see a leprechaun and find shamrocks with him. May the beer flow freely all night. One minimal notion: You ought to dutifully wear green (but in fashion), whether indoors or out.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The lady golfer is stung by a wasp. She goes to look for a greenkeeper, finds one, and then complains to him, "I've been stung by a wasp!"

"Exactly where did it get you?" the man asks her. ~

"Between the first and second holes," sobs the upset woman.

Having no sympathy, a haggard aged greenkeeper explains gruffly, "Then, it looks like maybe your stance is too wide!"

Ellie Dent with:

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound??

Twenty-four hours in the day, twenty-four beers
in a case.

A coincidence? ~

Windows: Yet another pane in the glass.

Connect PC Correctly. Boot Up.

Corrupt File: Try Control. Time out.
Smash/Cut Forehead on Keyboard.

Who *is* General Failure, and why is he reading my disk?

Stuff it, mate.

Ellie Dent with:
My Dear Sir

In reply to your request to send a check, I write to inform you that the present condition of my current account makes it almost impossible. My unfortunate, near helpless, financial condition is due to a bunch of manifestly unnecessary laws: the federal, state, county and city, liquor, outlaws and the mother-in-law.

Jesus! Bureaucracy then requires that I, unprosperous and in extreme penury, get a business license, car license, marriage license ... and a license for my sick Dachshund dog, Hanover.


For my own safety, I am required to carry life insurance, home insurance, liability insurance, burglar insurance, accident insurance, business insurance, 'quake insurance, unemployment insurance, fire insurance, and old-age insurance.

I tell you, except for a sort of miracle, no way in the world at present could I let myself attempt to square this, and enclose that check. The wolf that tends to come to our doors these days, she stayed ... and just gave birth to pups in my kitchen.

PS: I sold them... here is your money.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Quote by Margaret Mead


1st - Dharam Khalsa with:

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:

Eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:
How To Get On In Society

Eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
CLXVII The Lost Love

Dharam Khalsa with:
Little Jack Horner

Harshal M. with:
[None of the seventy-one countries in the anagram contain the letter 'e']
Afghanistan + Andorra + Angola + Antigua and Barbuda + Brazil + Bulgaria + Canada + Cuba + Dominica + Gambia + Haiti + Honduras + Hungary + India + Iran + Italy + Jamaica + Kiribati + Laos + Latvia + Libya + Mongolia + Morocco + Norway + Oman + Palau + Panama + Samoa + Saudi Arabia + South Africa + Sri Lanka + Sudan + Tajikistan + Tunisia + Vanuatu + Zambia =
Albania + Austria + Bahrain + Barbados + Bolivia + Burkina Faso + Cambodia + China + Colombia + Congo + Croatia + Fiji + Gabon + Jordan + Kazakhstan + Latvia + Lithuania + Madagascar + Malaysia + Mali + Mauritania + Mauritius + Namibia + Paraguay + Poland + Romania + Rwanda + Saint Lucia + Sudan + Syria + Tanzania + Thailand + Tonga + Uganda + Uruguay

Tony Crafter with:
As a bagpiper, I play many unusual gigs. Recently, though, I had the most unusual gig of them all: I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. This guy had no family or friends, so the service was to be conducted in a pauper's cemetery somewhere in the back country.

As I was unfamiliar with the backwoods, I soon got lost and being a typical man, no, I did not stop to ask anyone for directions.

I eventually turned up an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There was only the digger-machine and some men left and they were eating lunch.

I felt bad and apologized to them for being late. Then I went to the hushed graveside and, looking down, noticed the vault lid was already in place. I did not know what I should do next, so I began playing.

Soon, the workers put down their lunches and began to gather round. And oh, I played my heart and soul out for this unknown man - this man who had no home, no family and no friends. Then, when I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. Next, I played 'Danny Boy' and they cried. Then I cried, then we all cried together. When I had finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started to make for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothing like that before and I've been installing septic tanks for twenty-eight years."

Apparently I'm still lost...


Nelson Mandela was resting at home, viewing TV and sipping a beer, when he heard a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.

When he opened it, he was confronted by this little Chinese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling, 'You Sign! You sign!'

Behind him was a truck full of car tyres and exhaust pipes.

The man yelled louder, 'You Sign! You sign!'

Nelson replied irritably, 'I'm afraid you've got the wrong address,' and shut the door in his face.

The next day there was a knock at the door again. When he opened it, the little Chinese man was there with a huge delivery of brake pads. He thrust a clipboard under Nelson's nose and yelled, 'You sign! You sign!'

Mr Mandela was getting rather hacked off by now, so he pushed the little Chinaman away, reiterating: 'You've got the wrong man! Back off! I don't need car brake pads. Go away!' and slammed the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson was asleep when he was awakened by a knock on the door. On opening it, there was the Chinaman again thrusting a clipboard in his face, yelling, 'You sign! You sign!'

Behind him were TWO very large trucks full of different types of auto parts.

This time, the tired Mandela lost his temper completely; he picked up the man by his shirt front and shouted: 'Look, I am a leader of men. I don't want auto parts! Do you understand me? You've got the wrong name! Who did you want to give them to, anyway ?'

The little Chinaman, looking very puzzled, peered hard at the clipboard and said: 'You not Nissan Main Dealer?'

Dharam Khalsa with:
A Spring Sonnet

Harshal M. with:
Parts of Larry Brash's 2010 Grand Anagrammy write-up


1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Making love in bed =
Medieval "bonking".

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Spread your legs =
Red pussy galore!

3rd - Adie Pena with:
Clitoral stimulation techniques =
Listen! I'll acquire a hot moist cunt!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Premature ejaculations ~
are junior male upset act

Larry Brash with:
Defloration =
Tool a friend.

Tony Crafter with:
The AC Milan president Silvio Berlusconi =
One clitoris can result in a VIP blemished!

View with:
Fukushima nuclear plant =
Fuck up, hurt all Asian men!

Ivan Andonov with:
The prostitute's vagina =
Vaster gate to push it in.

View with:
Futanari =
Ain't Frau.

Rick Rothstein with:
Stimulating the clitoris =
Aim is still her cunt, got it?

David Bourke with:
Poofter: "Hey, lads ~
sod the foreplay!"

The Anagrammy Awards