Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2013


1st - nedesto with:
Frosted cupcake =
Packed fructose.

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Short end of the stick =
The cost of the drinks.

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Delayed gratification =
I get a candy later if I do.

Ellie Dent with:
A love sonnet ~
to one's navel?

Christopher Sturdy with:
Satisfaction guaranteed =
If it's not great, sue Canada!

nedesto with:
Frosted cupcake =

Christopher Sturdy with:
Self-regulation =
Get no rules... fail!

Rosie Perera with:
Professional foley artist =
I portray all noises off set.

H.A.Downs with:
Quantum Teleportation =
Attune unto temporal Qi

Mark Huffman with:
Alexander Wood, his syringe of morphine" =
"Poor old wife and sinner: 'A more sexy high!'

George Sicherman with:
Image is everything =
Eye me, git: ravishing.

Adie Pena with:
Anesthesia medication =
The aim's a nice sedation.

Mark Huffman with:
China's stealth drone program =
Ah, strong red patrol machines!

George Sicherman with:
Mowers flay ~
May flowers

George Sicherman with:
Anne long desired ~
dandelion greens.

View with:
Heads or tails =
I had real toss.

View with:
A quarantine =
Quit an arena.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The mastectomy =
To tame my chest.

Rosie Perera with:
The threat of oil spills =
Petrol? It's hell to a fish.

Rosie Perera with:
Helpmate =
Pal he met.

George Sicherman with:
Gorge on turkey? ~
No, Greek yogurt.

George Sicherman with:
The ace of spades ~
poses death face.

Rosie Perera with:
The ace of spades and the queen of diamonds =
Someone had passed off quite a decent hand.

Eric Harshbarger with:
Betrothal =
At brothel?!

George Sicherman with:
The big emperor tulips ~
seem bright, ripple out

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Wardrobe malfunctions =
Rifts unrobe clad woman.

Adie Pena with:
Telescopes ~
let cops see.

Tony Crafter with:
I am so darn tired =
I'm sorta drained.

Mark Huffman with:
Elegant ~
teen gal.

Mark Huffman with:
Orthopedic surgeon =
Run, go see hip doctor!

Mark Huffman with:
A damned ~
dead man

Scott Gardner with:
The tragedians =
Shed giant tear.

Adie Pena with:
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" =
Death's set thus so sad to us.

Meyran Kraus with:
The married person =
Her tamed prisoner.


1st - Dean Mayer with:
The Eurovision Song Contest =
Voting's so contentious here.

2nd - Eric Harshbarger with:
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland =
A clever "Lewis" turns odd and inane.

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The prestigious Cannes Film Festival ~
has life's latest fine moving pictures.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Prohibition agent Eliot Ness in "The Untouchables" =
His elite unit outshines the robbing Al Capone...not.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind =
Charming widow telling Rhett he's mate

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind =
MGM and Leigh threw title the Oscar win

George Sicherman with:
Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman =
A dream shatters, Loman hurls a life.

Tony Crafter with:
'Waiting To Be Heard': Amanda Knox's 'true' memoirs =
Ok, I was that sex-mad being. No, I am not a murderer.

Adie Pena with:
Laurents, Bernstein and Sondheim's 'West Side Story' =
Ruthlessness in street. Maria bends down. Tony dies.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip by Bill Watterson =
Boy can lob snowballs at his pretend crib victim.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson =
Cat's barbs all enliven bond with boy.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Star Trek Into Darkness =
Kirk tends to snare rats.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Emmelie Charlotte-Victoria de Forest =
A melodic voice to let me rate her first

Eric Harshbarger with:
Duo loved ~
Devo loud!

Scott Gardner with:
There and Back Again =
He can take a bad Ring

View with:
Cannes International Film Festival =
In final list relevant to cinema fans.

Ellie Dent with:
David Bowie's 'Starman' =
Said band to view Mars?

nedesto with:
The Abram's film, Star Trek Into Darkness =
Kirk's bastard tormenter: Satan himself?

Adie Pena with:
'Rita Moreno: A Memoir' ~
or "I am into mere amor!"

Ivan Andonov with:
Santigold =
Tidal song.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
"Behind the Candelabra" =
Hand the band Liberace!

Meyran Kraus with:
Disney's 'It's a Small World' =
A slow ride lists my lands.


eq1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Many courts call the man an opportunistic predator =
Commentary on Stuart Hall's inappropriate conduct.

eq1st - Rosie Perera with:
Plane lands without landing gear in New Jersey =
And a jet spilling oil endangers the new runway.

3rd - nedesto with:
Memorial Day observances in the US =
A Monday hails our best servicemen.

David Bourke with:
The television presenter Stuart Hall =
She's NINE? He's ill...a total, utter pervert.

View with:
World's smallest flying robot =
Strong fly-model orbits walls.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Hostage in Cleveland, Amanda Berry =
Bravado and gall in ten-year scheme.

Adie Pena with:
The three brothers Ariel, Pedro and Onil Castro =
Errant horrid captors threatened Ohio belles!

View with:
The Boston marathon bombers =
Most mean brothers. O, nab both!

Rosie Perera with:
Cleveland hostage rescuer Charles Ramsay =
A large clever lad curses; he's not camera-shy.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Andrew "Bart" Simpson =
MBE's in a trap, drowns

View with:
The abductor Ariel Castro =
Trio? Bastard cruel to each!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The garment factory collapse in Bangladesh =
Conglomerate's plan halted by crashing fate.

Mark Huffman with:
Internal revenue service targets Tea Party groups =
Gulag-type IRS unnerves ace patriots. Retreat? Never!

Mark Huffman with:
IRS leaked conservative info to media =
Insane feds, a real dick move. I vote riot.

Mark Huffman with:
Attorney General Eric Holder's recusal =
Concealer should retreat, resign early.

View with:
Commissioner Steven Miller =
Smelt some in novel IRS crime

Mark Huffman with:
Should we back Marco Rubio, a senator? =
Cor! I sure would! He's not Barack Obama!

Adie Pena with:
The massive tornado in Moore, Oklahoma ~
shook homes. Emotional drama ain't over!

Adie Pena with:
Horrible tornado! We may close ~
Briarwood Elementary School!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The red, white and blue =
Then we buried the lad.

George Sicherman with:
Memorial Day warning =
Glamor? In war, many die

nedesto with:
Memorial Day parades =
Repay a soldier, madam!

Rosie Perera with:
The narrow-leafed campion (Silene stenophylla) =
Many a fallen seed; one whole prehistoric plant.

Mark Huffman with:
Obama says he'll be there for "Monroe, Oklahoma" =
Bah. Same aloof Barry. Hello! The name's "Moore," ok?

Mark Huffman with:
Six-year-old gets detention over LEGO gun =
Gory, noxious deed reveals negligent tot!

Mark Huffman with:
French gay marriage now =
Fear, woe, angry marching!

Rosie Perera with:
Genetically Targeted Fractionated Chemotherapy =
A therapy to fight a little enemy God created: cancer.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Middle East Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus ~
rose to stir rumors very deadly Earth pandemic is on.

Rosie Perera with:
Man having sex while driving drunk crashes =
Shrewd nerd risks having huge climax in van.

Tony Crafter with:
It's Britain's coldest Spring for more than 30 years =
Gasps: "Brrr! 30F in May is so rotten. Iceland is hotter!"

Meyran Kraus with:
Obama administration =
Mad at IRS abomination.

Meyran Kraus with:
Recent scandals at White House =
A war tends to silence such heat.

Rosie Perera with:
Southern Baptists disaffiliating with Boy Scouts =
Stop, idiot! Switch. That gay stuff's a sin in our Bibles.


1st - Ellie Dent with:
Prometheus =
The Supremo.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, Michele Knight =
Hijacked human beings lead ten grim years.

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Thomas Alva Edison ~
has a most novel aid.

nedesto with:
Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali =
His art dissolves a sad rural plain.

David Bourke with:
The Tory MP Nigel Martin Evans =
Mainly the government rapist.

Adie Pena with:
James Stuart Hall, OBE =
Real job? Assault them!

View with:
Ariel Castro =
Coarse trial.

nedesto with:
Amanda Berry =
Nearby drama!

Ellie Dent with:
Obama, the U.S. President =
Oh, but man is desperate!

Mark Huffman with:
Kim Jong Un's North Korean hobbies =
Mahjong? Boobs? Nukes, I think.

Mark Huffman with:
Kermit Gosnell, abortionist of Philadelphia =
Banish paid gestation killer to hell. RIP, mo fo.

David Bourke with:
The US actress Angelina Jolie =
Each real jug is not essential.

Larry Brash with:
Ariel Castro =
Serial actor

Larry Brash with:
Ariel Castro =
Also erratic.

Mark Huffman with:
Senator Marco Rubio's family legacy =
Yes, sorta came from Cuba originally.

Tony Crafter with:
Chat show host Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan =
"He wants gun reforms?" I gasp. "Shoot the chap!"

David Bourke with:
Darcey Andrea Crittle (Bussell) =
Ballet dancer's surely a credit!

Mark Huffman with:
Noah of old =
Ah, no! Flood!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Leonardo da Vinci? =
I drool in advance!

Meyran Kraus with:
England's patron Saint George =
Leap on great nesting dragons.


1st - Adie Pena with:
A Gibson electric guitar =
Suitable in a gig? Correct.

eq2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Memorial Day Celebration =
Remind America to be loyal.

eq2nd -George Sicherman with:
Spam luncheon meat =
A mean lump o' stench.

eq2nd -Rosie Perera with:
Coronavirus =

Dharam Khalsa with:
Sicherman dice =
Hi-end ceramics?

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Solar Impulse =
I slash petroleum

Rosie Perera with:
Marketplace Fairness Act =
Malfeasant prices racket

Ed Pegg Jr with:
The United States One Hundred Dollar Bill =
Traded in, shell out, traded in, shell out ... Ben.

Rosie Perera with:
New Yorkers Against Gun Violence =
We're encouraging lotsa knives, N.Y.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Internal Revenue Service, Washington =
In general, we hunt conservatives in there.

Mark Huffman with:
Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" =
Obese cells: a mammoth evil

nedesto with:
National Aeronautics and Space Administration =
"Canadians amid our International Space Station?!"

Christopher Sturdy with:
United Nations Children's Fund =
Child's needs: nutrition and fun.

Rosie Perera with:
I've learned units on safety in ~
National Defense University.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Boy Scouts of America organization =
Can famous Christianizer be too too gay?

View with:
National Basketball Association =
Notable Blacks, Italians...Asian, too.

Tony Crafter with:
Florida's Walt Disney theme park, The Magic Kingdom =
The willing kids go mad for Mickey. Ma and pa? The rest!

Larry Brash with:
The Budgerigar ‡
Huge, great bird.

Adie Pena with:
The Sumatran Rhinoceros (Dicerorhinus sumatrensis) =
Human is so smart, hurts one-horned creature in crisis!

Ellie Dent with:
Sumatran Rhino =
Horns in trauma?

Ivan Andonov with:
Third Crusade =
Richard's duet.

David Bourke with:
Health and Safety regulation =
They nail the dangerous/fatal.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Associated Press =
Adept, chases stories.

Rosie Perera with:
President Xi Jinping's "Chinese Dream" =
Pride in expanding riches, jets, mines.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The richest people in the world:

1. Bill Gates
2. Carlos Slim
3. Warren Buffett
4. Amancio Ortega
5. Ingvar Kamprad
1. Smart PC nerd
2. Fat cellphone bigwig
3. Superb investor from Omaha
4. Clothing-retail stalwart
5. IKEA leader

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The actress Angelina Jolie has undergone a preventative double mastectomy =
Her judgment is, it may help to let one avoid eventual breast cancer as one ages.

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The top five reasons to consider adopting a dog:
1. Loyalty
2. Companionship
3. Unconditional love
4. Protection
5. Joy
1. Devotion
2. Friend and psychologist
3. A "no opposition" policy
4. On patrol, chasing a mottled coyote
5. Rejuvenation

nedesto with:
This Irishman Rory goes to confess and spouts, "Forgive me. I dynamited all the rail lines up between Belfast and Derry." ~

"Oh, ye really did it my son? Somber business indeed", warrants Liam the gruff village priest. "For penance... do the stations."

Christopher Sturdy with:
Prince Willem-Alexander becomes king of the Netherlands =
Well planned in seeking helm, accedes throne from Beatrix.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Five-year-old boy shoots two-year-old sister in Kentucky =
Oy, it's easy for any Burkesville redneck to do so with 'toy'.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Marriage is like a pack of cards--In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
A senior-aged woman (I snicker) is likely to imagine trading the hand for a club and a spade!

Rosie Perera with:
Administering anesthesia to a hospital patient =
And it initiates tight sleep as man has operation.

Rosie Perera with:
Ariel Castro is the father of kidnapped woman's child =
Plain fact so far: sadist raped her, locked within home.

Mark Huffman with:
Men with the Manhattan Project led us to volatile anesthetics =
Southwest chemist: level Japan (not that!), then medication later.

Adie Pena with:
Ariel Castro's three women:
1. Gina DeJesus
2. Michelle Knight
3. Amanda Berry
1. Greet a "taken" damsel
2. She's "number two" in a "marriage"
3. Jocelyn is her child.

Rosie Perera with:
"If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."
This dusty line will be on target as a new Proverb 2.0: "A fool and his money are soon parted."

Rosie Perera with:
Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Terrorists =
Horror as agitator army often fires first, so utilize caution!

Adie Pena with:
Sarah Palin: "It snowed in Alaska in May, so there is no Global Warming." =
As a mind ages, a gal who ain't normal is likely a person with no brains.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Well within the debris of Moore's
hellish mile-wide tornado site
glared this image from a humble
child's story (author?)
"I remember my old house,
it's rooms so bright and wide.
It's halls will echo for all of time,
with the laughter heard inside."

Ellie Dent with:
A man sitting in the living room, hears a faint knock. He opens the door and sees a snail. He throws it as far away as is possible.
Five months later, man hears a knock, a rap on his front door; opening it, he sees it is a snail. Snail says: 'So, what was the big idea?'

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe and Australia =
Continents for rice at a tea, Sahara, a car drama, a haircut, ice, IOU, a marsupial


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"I see your condition through my telescope. We have intercepted your supplies. Give in like a good fellow, and bring your garrison to dinner, and beds afterwards. Nobody injured, I hope?"
I do believe being cornered is crippling you.
Lose your pride for one night, guys.
I know how dispirited you ruthless cannon-fodder are.
Join me and we'd have plenty to toast!


2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"I see your condition through my telescope. We have intercepted your supplies. Give in like a good fellow, and bring your garrison to dinner, and beds afterwards. Nobody injured, I hope?"


3rd - David Bourke with:
"I see your condition through my telescope. We have
intercepted your supplies. Give in like a good fellow,
and bring your garrison to dinner, and beds afterwards.
Nobody injured, I hope?"
"Dear Rob, I hope you do consider retiring. Guns down,
just give in! End this right now...or else I'll have to
defriend you on my Facebook page. I await a response,
buddy. Pierre. LOL!"

Rosie Perera with:
It consisted in a barrage of discord that derided people: "OK, give it up. We won! Deep loss. Run home, before, being tired, you end up as our dinner. We shall enjoy glorying in our victory. Nyah!!!"

Dharam Khalsa with:
I've deciphered Gen. Beauregard's proposal:
"Dine with us, enjoy your entire night of impropriety, and rest. There's no denying, a Civil War is bound to unfold, and your goose will be cooked!"

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Seeing you poor boys were cooped up in Fort Sumter, I put one idle brigade on leave in the north to enjoy sleeping with your wives and girlfriends. Go back and raise our children, Daddy!

Tony Crafter with:
Good evening Officer!

Did you want a truce? Good point!

Ok; why not drop in with your division, eat humble pie, surrender and enjoy a bloodless night's sleep?

Pierre Beauregard

Dharam Khalsa with:
"I project the future, viewing it, so graciously dine and indulge in alcohol this evening before deployment begins and you perish, and your poor widows are raped, broken, or destroyed."

Dharam Khalsa with:
Dear Major Anderson,

In the spirit of public civility, I invite your needy, underfed, Yankee crew to speed on down to grill and snore with us pros. Oh, hope you dogs oblige!

Gen. Beauregard

Adie Pena with:
Dear Major Anderson,

Yes, we nipped your supplies. We're dividing the loot with volition. No prohibited and forbidden ounce of coke tonight, guys!

Sincerely yours,
General Beauregard

nedesto with:
Hi. If you don't surrender, I've been appointed to push on 'til we win Charleston. God! Just consider your people; how everybody is likely going to die amid cannonfire!


nedesto with:
If you don't surrender, I've been appointed to disgorge hard punishing cannonfire 'til we win Charleston. Just consider your good people; everybody who's likely to die.

I am,

Dharam Khalsa with:
Our tidily-kerchiefed niggers will serve you each a hearty supper, and provide safe one-time lodging in your own plundered wagon. Bayonets prohibited. No objection? Understood!

Rosie Perera with:
It was just a good-natured game of hide-and-seek or capture-the-flag between brothers. Our pop is livid yonder: "Inside everybody! Dinner's on! No crying or idling, or I'll whup you (once I pee)."

Larry Brash with:
"How did you Yankee girls dare presume to invade our fine Old South!

We now propose to nicely do in every Union bitch dog in this big crippled fortress and enjoy it."

General Beauregard

Dharam Khalsa with:
I reply by resounding voice,
Let your own guards rejoice;
Now, I'll get right to the point:
I would never dare disappoint!
Open your boudoirs for Yankees
Demanding fish, bread and cheese.


1st - Ellie Dent with:

I will not play with Dad's underwear when he is in the bathroom.

The garbage collector is certainly a jerk: however he's normal, and harmless. He is NOT a crook, a madman who's stealing all our things.

I do not need to stand up when I'm hiding under the Scandinavian coffee table.

I will not roll my childish toys far behind the fridge.

I WILL shake rainwater from my coat BEFORE I enter the house.

I will not eat all the cats' lunch, before - or after - they've eaten it.

I will stop trying to find clean carpet anywhere indoors when I'm ready to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I won't roll on dead birds, stinky wet fishes' innards, and so on.

I will not lick my human's face after I've eaten animal poop.

Kitty Crunchies are food that's not normally recommended for canines.


I won't eat any more cast-off socks and redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not an actual cookie jar.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell him.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially the beetroot-red one, or my human will fret... think that I'm ill and hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I won't insist on having the window rolled fully down when it's raining.

We do NOT have a doorbell fitted. So I won't bark persistently each time I hear one on the TV.

I will not steal my Mom's delicate frilly underwear and dance around our back yard with it.

The sofa is not a huge flannel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not wilfully bite the officer's hand when he reaches for Mom's driver's license and the car registration.

eq2nd - nedesto with:
Fergus is at a local bar and pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in.

"Oh, damn!" he says. "I puked all over my shirt, and If the wife finds out, she is going to kill me."

"Ah, not to worry, Fergus" says the bartender. "Here, stick a twenty in your pocket and just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill."

So Fergus goes on home and tells his wife about this guy who puked all over him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. "Uh huh. And why are there two twenties?" she says.

Fergus replies, "Oh, yeah. And that guy crapped in my pants, too!"


One evening at the brewery this chap Casey's stinkin' drunk, so the bar keeper says, "Seems you've had too much. Go home."

Casey gets up off the stool, falls down, and crawls out the door. Outside, Casey falls down again, so he crawls home.

When he arrives, he falls again trying to open the door. He crawls to his room, stands up and falls straight in the bed in a drunken stupor.

The following morning his wife wakes him up, "You've been drinking, haven't you?'

Bewildered, Casey mutters, 'What makes you think that?'

His wife replies, " 'Cos the pub just phoned. They said you left your wheelchair there again.'

eq2nd - Tony Crafter with:
US Magazine People's Listing of the World's Most Beautiful Women.

9. Drew Barrymore
8. Halle Berry
7. Kelly Rowland
6. Jennifer Lawrence
5. Jane Fonda
4. Zooey Deschanel
3. Amanda Seyfried
2. Kerry Washington
1. Gwyneth Paltrow


10.Colourfully enjoyable!
9. The E.T. kid grew up, then!
8. Former New York model
7. Leggy babe from Destiny's Child
6. Winner of many awards
5. 'Top Granny' winner!
4. A real dazzler!
3. Appeared in 'Les Mis'
2. Near-flawless
1. She won it? No! What a joke!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Seven Superheroes with Absolutely Useless Powers:
1. Hindsight Lad
2. The Red Bee
3. Ant-Man
4. Matter Eater Lad
5. Jubilee
6. Krypto the Super Dog
7. Hancock
Powerless? Not at all!
1. Superb eyes at research
2. Humble beekeeper
3. Deeds at insect height
4. Devours junk
5. Hot at a party
6. No underdog
7. He's Will Smith!

Ellie Dent with:

10. God was worried that Adam would probably become lost there in his garden because he wouldn't ask for directions.

9. God knew instinctively, one day Adam would need someone to find his remote... then hand it to him.

8. God knew Adam, the poor baby, wouldn't buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out, so he'd need the help of another - Eve - to purchase a new one.

7. God realised that Adam probably couldn't meet the challenge of making any hair, doctor and dentist appointments, and more, himself.

6. God feared Adam would have no firm idea on which day to put out the garbage.


5. God knew if the world was to be populated, no mere man would cope with all the tremendous pain and discomfort involved in the delivery of a child.

4. As Keeper of the Garden, without a shed, forgetful Adam would not remember where any tools were.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his woes on, when God caught him hiding out in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, 'It's not good for man to be alone!'

1. Finally, you may want to know about the number one reason why God created Eve:

When God had finished the creation of Adam, God stepped back, scratched His head and said, 'I am sure I can do better than that!'

Adie Pena with:
1. Nauru
2. Micronesia
3. Cook Islands
4. Tonga
5. Nieu
6. Samoa
7. Palau
8. United States of America
9. Kiribati
10. Dominica


1. Diabetics
2. Stout Women
3. Irrational Cuisine!
4. Big Nation
5. Tapioca; Kumaras
6. Immense Ones
7. Oilier Pork!
8. McDonald's
9. Seafood; Tuna
10. Our Authentic Eats.

Dharam Khalsa with:
U.N. urges eating insects; eight popular bugs to try:
1. Beetles
2. Butterflies and Moths
3. Bees and Wasps
4. Ants
5. Grasshopper, Cricket, and Locust
6. Flies and Mosquitos
7. Water Boatmen and Backswimmers
8. Stinkbug
1. Surpass warm buttered popcorn
2. Succulent banquet
3. Meat tastes like cashew nuts
4. More protein than eggs
5. Easy to find a basketful
6. Smallest winged pests
7. Bobbing in brackish streams
8. Disgusting odor


1st - Meyran Kraus with:

It seemed to be but chance, yet who shall say
That 'twas not part of Nature's own sweet way
That on the field where once the cannon's breath
Laid many a hero cold and stark in death,
Some little children, in the after-years,
Had come to play among the grassy spears,
And, all unheeding, when their romp was done,
Had left a wreath of wild flowers over one
Who fought to save his country, and whose lot
It was to die unknown and rest forgot?


May Dawning
Each glance she chances out the window now
May add one wrinkle to the widow's brow.
One chatty thrush appears to mock her gloom;
Red roses are a tense display of doom...
It pains her that her heart has been undone,
And yet - as hastily the coastal sun
Looms ever-softly over her front lawn,
Defiance thaws her at the red of dawn:
A loathed fate dealt her one astounding blow,
Yet Life won't let that thwart its stunning flow.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:

Yeah, yeah
When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control,
It's Redfoo with the big afro
And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow.

Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out

When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

I'm sexy and I know it

When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight them off
And when I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)
This is how I roll, come on ladies it's time to go
We headed to the bar, baby don't be nervous
No shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced (watch)

Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body
I work out

When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

I'm sexy and I know it

I'm sexy and I know it...

Check it out
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah, yeah
Do the wiggle man
I do the wiggle man
I'm sexy and I know it

Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out

Yeah I'm sexy and I know it!

Shaky Dave

When I walk down a bus on wobbly feet, middle-aged ladies offer their seats,
Ha! Brainless females, can't they see that in my head I am twenty-three?
Ay, this is me, I still got swagger, ten years younger than Mick Jagger!
No wavy hair on my bald head
But, wow! my pencil's full of lead.

Ooh, ah, move that body
Ooh, ah, work it out
Ooh, ah, what's that twinge?
Ooh, ah, bloody gout.

When I look in a mirror what do I see?
Hey, it's ol' grandad looking at me!
But I got passion, boy I know it,
A pity the face and body don't show it, show it, they won't show it.

I'm sixty and I know it!

When I'm at airport security checks,
I stow my phone in my pants (so risky
But at least the security girls will frisk me!)
I don't worry, I don't mind it, I take my pleasure where I find it,
This is how I roll, it's how I trip,
(Bloody arthritis in both hips!)

Ooh, ah, work that body,
Ooh, ah, work that brain,
Ooh, ah, what is that twinge?
Ooh, ah, what is that pain?

I go to bed at nine, wake at ten, go pee,
I go at half-past twelve, I go again at three,
Wiggle to the loo, shake it, pull the chain,
Wiggle to the loo, shake it, back again.

I'm sixty and I know it,

I'm sixty and I know it...

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle... ooh...
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle... ah...
Do that wiggle,
Shake that thing,
I'm sixty and I know it.

Hey y'all !
Look at my knees,
Look like knots
In a gnarled oak tree,

I'm sixty and I know it.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
A man, a pig and a dog were the only survivors of a bad shipwreck.

They found themselves stranded on a desert island where they soon developed a routine of sitting on the beach every night to watch the sun go down.

On one particular evening, the sky was red, with white, wispy clouds and a balmy breeze. It was the perfect night for romance. As the three of them sat there, the pig began to look increasingly desirable to the man. After a while, he leaned over and quietly put his arm around the animal. The dog was instantly jealous and growled menacingly, so the man hastily removed his arm from around the pig. After that, the trio continued to enjoy their sunsets regularly but with no more cuddling.

Two months later, there was another shipwreck in the area and the only survivor was the most beautiful young woman the man had ever seen. She was in quite a bad way when she was washed up on their island, but he lovingly nursed her back to health until, one day, she was able to join the trio on the beach for their sunset ritual.

It was another beautiful night - a fiery red sky, wispy clouds, and balmy breeze; a night just made for romance.

After a while, the man felt his ardour starting to rekindle. He fought it for as long as he could but finally he could contain himself no longer. So he leaned over to the beautiful young woman and whispered in her ear...

"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"


A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Quick!" she shouted at the lover. "Grab all your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's come home early!"

The man looked out the window in alarm and protested: "That's insane! I can't jump out there! It's raining like crazy and I am naked!"

"I don't care about that," ranted the now paranoid woman; "If my husband catches you here, I guarantee he'll skin the pair of us alive!"

Still protesting, the lover reluctantly grabbed his clothes, went over to the bedroom window and leapt out...

He landed on the street below and, to his amazement, found himself in the middle of a group of marathon runners. Hoping to blend in with them, despite being naked, he started jogging along, carrying his clothes over one arm.

"Hello," greeted one of the runners, "no offence, but do you always run in the buff?"

Thinking on his feet, the lover replied breathlessly: "Yes; I always feel so free having all that fresh air wafting against my skin when I jog."

"I see... but, do you usually run with clothes over your arm?" queried the athlete.

"Yes, always," panted the lover. "That means I can get dressed after the race, go to my car, and get straight home without needing to have a shower first."

"I guess that's true," the athlete frowned, "but do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"Only if it's raining."

Adie Pena with:
by Carl Sandburg

It's a jazz affair, drum crashes and cornet razzes.
The trombone pony neighs and the tuba jackass snorts.
The banjo tickles and titters too awful.
The chippies talk about the funnies in the papers.
The cartoonists weep in their beer.
Ship riveters talk with their feet
To the feet of floozies under the tables.
A quartet of white hopes mourn with interspersed snickers:
"I got the blues.
I got the blues.
I got the blues."
And . . . as we said earlier:
The cartoonists weep in their beer.

by Glenn Buttkus

Ariel Castro behaved like a pitiful scared
teenager in court today, tortoise head down,
eyes down, mute, frightened--after he dared

imprison three young women, stripped & bound,
making Amanda, Gina, & Michelle live out his
sick fantasies, until at last they were found

and liberated from a tortured life that is
finally revealed; beaten, restrained with rope,
raped, impregnated, assaulted, miscarried--tis

a miracle that they survived, or could even cope
throughout a decade of stygian darkness--
and now they cling tenaciously to the hope

that they will ever forget the beastliness,
surmount bitterness & really find happiness.


by Rosemerry Trommer

All day I imagine
how it could be me,
could be you, it is her
on that street, in that car,
in the chains, in the window.
All day I break down
the door. All day
I turn toward love.
It is not hard to find love,
but it is not easy
to be joyful in it.
We are so alone
All day I break.
The door
is still not open


Born a captive on a little makeshift bed.
Her parent, seventeen, picked up.
Seized a decade ago,
The slave "wife" muzzled & chained
Like a puppet in tatters
Stripped bare, kept from the light
In the windowless cellar.
Her senses suppressed,
The bruises, the cuts & cruel sensibilities...
The serf equipped with nothing but hope...
Thirsting, seeking for the ugliest truth.
The evil perpetrator -- sinister & bizarre
Abuses these dark secrets, these heartaches.
She senses the stench of the object of hate,
The brazen suspect, the arrogant sadist.
Arrest that frightful creature...
Itself like a repulsive, repugnant rattlesnake.

by Green Day

I was a different man
From five seconds ago
And you're a different woman that's for certain
I don't know a thing about
Is this a kind of love that only hate would understand
Amanda, I couldn't be your man.

Mark Huffman with:
The Hobbit, or There and Back Again, by JRR Tolkien
The Hobbit, or There and Back Again, by JRR Tolkien
Thirteen kith/kin, dragon-hate cabal, robbery job.
Chant, rant, jibber. Heed gray thinker! Bilbo: a Took!
Big banditry! Jeer: "Ha! Or kebab?" Then: "Halt! Into rock!"
Elrond, baby! At crib: eat, joke, art, herb. "Ho - night ink!"
Rocky terrain. Goblin hotbed! "Hi!" *jab* Thank Beater!
Oh no...labyrinth. Bad backbiter! Take ring, hero - jet!
Thin banter. At brink, hot. Eagle jockey! Bid harbor.
Beorn: hairy jerkin? No, bear! Attacked blight (both).
A deathly hike. "Cob" natter. Orb jabbing! Irk throne.
Deny a jerk king. Barrel-bob bath (Thorin, co.: "Hate it!").
Natty noble, highborn Bard. Take Erebor - hijack it!
Hot hijink. Ire ebb? No! Bay threat! Black dart - goner.
Bitter ego. Backhand bilk. Barter? "Join yon hearth!"
Ah, bright orb. A kink! Cry: "Enjoin battle, beat horde!"
Brace in heartbreak: death king, both bro jointly.
End northern trek, take rich bag. A hobby: jot alibi.


1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A woman's sighs matter =
It's what Orgasm means.

2nd - nedesto with:
Common STDs:
1. Chlamydia
2. Gonorrhea
3. Syphilis
4. Herpes
1. Hot, moldy ass
2. Limp penis
3. Chancres
4. Hemorrhoids? Gay!

eq3rd - Ivan Andonov with:
A communist =
I'm Mao's cunt.

eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
Does the size of a penis really matter? =
These solitary females do prize a ten!
br>Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Instant gratification =
Is it not in a farting act?

Adie Pena with:
Huge erections =
I go see her cunt.

David Bourke with:
The American actress Eva Longoria =
A romantic...her vagina's clear to see!

Tony Crafter with:
The secret of an enormous dick ~ is: use the darn cock more often!

View with:
Enthusiasm =
I hunt me ass

Meyran Kraus with:

In the wrong hole =
Howling: "Not HERE!"

The Anagrammy Awards