1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Giant hornets =
Another sting.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Two bullets in the head =
I bet the wound's lethal!

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Prenuptial contracts =
I can plot partner's cut

Larry Brash with:
Analgesic medication =
Need is magical action.

Tyler Severance with:
prisoner of war missing in action =
WE cross in a inspiring formation.

Tyler Severance with:
An acid trip =
Drat! I panic.

Christopher Sturdy with:
He's fertile =
There's life!

Andrew Brehaut with:
"I are little ~

Dharam Khalsa with:
Something you should *never* do is ~
hold in-house orgies on my duvets!

Robert Jordan with:
Something you should never do is ~
go video surly homos in the dunes

Julian Lofts with:
One thing you should never do is ~
shooting heroin venously, dude!

Andrew Brehaut with:
"Something you should never do is ~
overindulge in sodomy!" he shouts.

Julian Lofts with:
Lavatory =
oval tray

View with:
Nuclear weapon =
Cue one war plan

Scott Gardner with:
Temperate rainforests =
Pine trees after a storm

Christopher Sturdy with:
Futile decision =
Suicide, not life.

Scott Gardner with:
The House of Representatives =
Entire U.S. shape vote for these.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Eleventh hour deal =
Heaven or Hell duet.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Unforeseeable circumstances =
Lean futures can become crises

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Rose garden =

Josiah Winslow with:
Surfing the internet ‡
Returning the finest.

Andrew Brehaut with:
An "all out war" =
A natural low.

Josiah Winslow with:
Not allowed ‡
"Do let on" law

Tyler Severance with:
Great challenge if in ~
life-altering change.

Dean Mayer with:
Family-owned =
Old man / wifey

Scott Gardner with:
Abortion pills ‡
Slip into labor

Dharam Khalsa with:
Automatic dishwasher =
Aids with a chore. A must!

Ed Pegg Jr with:
The Intangibles of Leadership =
Big one: split the Red Sea in half.

Tyler Severance with:
An image dims, weary of ~
memories fading away.

Tyler Severance with:
The latest fad ~
that deflates.

Tyler Severance with:
Smoking a whole cigarette carton =
Look! it's a cancer growth eating me.

Adie Pena with:
The igloo of an Eskimo =
I got a home. Looks fine.

Meyran Kraus with:
Birthday cake =
Baked charity.

Meyran Kraus with:
A city baker had ~
a birthday cake.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Countries made ~

Adie Pena with:
Documentaries ~
toured cinemas.

Larry Brash with:
Multiple personalities =
Is it Pete, Paul, Len or Slim?

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
A split personality ~
instils a polar type.

Ellie Dent with:
Feline actions ~
in one cat's life.

nedesto with:
Abstentious =
Uses not a bit.

Tony Crafter with:
Prenuptial contracts =
Partner account-split

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Ties impart ~
team spirit

Rosie Perera with:
Emergency landing ~
needing clergyman.


1st - Ellie Dent with:
The Surrealist, M. Henri Rousseau =
Treasure his sheer luminous art.

eq2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Cowardly Lion =
Wild cat, only hero.

eq2nd -Mark Huffman with:
Orlando Bloom, Miranda Kerr separated =
Bra model and "Pirate" man look sad. Error?

Ivan Andonov with:
The emo haircuts =
I’m hot as The Cure.

Julian Lofts with:
Game of Thrones ~
of hatemongers

Tony Crafter with:
The Rolling Stones hit 'Sympathy For The Devil' =
Old stars' lengthy hymn to the spirit of evil, eh?

Scott Gardner with:
Edouard Manet, Le Déjeuner Sur l'Herbe and Olympia =
Hear Salon jury repudiate modern nude belle dame

Ivan Andonov with:
René Magritte =
Greet art in me.

Scott Gardner with:
The surrealist René François Ghislain Magritte =
Rather strange illusions there in images I craft.

View with:
Rene Francois Ghislain Magritte =
Fresh, magic, intense, original art

Adie Pena with:
The composer Charles-Camille Saint-Saens =
Classic "Animals." Cheers to more elephants!

nedesto with:
Charles Dickens' eighth novel, David Copperfield =
London's vivid grip deals chap the checkered life.

Rosie Perera with:
The Old Masters ~
sold art themes.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Stairway to Heaven =
It has a wavery tone.

Adie Pena with:
'Cos I'd hum tunes of ~
"The Sound of Music."

Dharam Khalsa with:
Heart's Ann Wilson covers "Stairway to Heaven" =
Version chosen as an alternative was worthy.

View with:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier =
A rapid, titanic hero's new crime tale

Adie Pena with:
The Puccini opera in four acts 'La boheme' ~
can be a hit musical of hope: our epic 'Rent.'

Zdenko with:
Scarlett O' Hara =
Oscar a la Rhett!

Meyran Kraus with:
The videos of Miley Cyrus =
Miss, they fled your voice.


1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
The brilliant, prized results: 4-1 Montenegro, 2-0 Poland =
Thrilled England supporters on to meet in Brazil, 2014

2nd - nedesto with:
A cheap costume =
Cape, moustache.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The late singer Lou Reed =
I lost a true legend here.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Cape Cod National Seashore =
Path on ocean area is closed.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Dread Pirate Roberts =
Brat arrested. Period!

Scott Gardner with:
The US federal debt =
There'd be defaults?

Dharam Khalsa with:
Oktoberfest celebration =
OK to beer bottle fanciers.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The United States of America =
A site enacted shut for a time.

Rosie Perera with:
This is Pastor Appreciation Month =
That option impacts parishioners.

Julian Lofts with:
Miss Universe puts foot in it at Taj Mahal =
Just a shameful vain promo. It taints site

Scott Gardner with:
Congress and the White House =
Host agencies' shutdown here.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Earthquake strikes not far from Fukushima =
Affirm rather Kafkaesque hum on outskirts.

Scott Gardner with:
Twitter's initial public offering =
It's true it will finance big profit!

Tyler Severance with:
Spooky Halloween decorations =
Oh! special skeleton on doorway.

Mark Huffman with:
US to reach debt ceiling on Thursday =
Ouch! Truth: only gin eases bad credit.

Tyler Severance with:
Debt ceiling reached seventeen trillion =
Inside the eternal collective green bind.

Tyler Severance with:
US government reopened =
Reps move on urgent need.

Julian Lofts with:
Greek police appeal over mystery blonde girl =
Tell cop - Greek gypsy or proverbial Madeleine?

Dharam Khalsa with:
An injured kangaroo hops into airport pharmacy
Poor chap, "Got an aspirin? Hurry, I am not a darn joke!"

Ellie Dent with:
The danger of bush fires in N.S.W. Australia =
Do fear this area's unsafe whilst burning.

Ellie Dent with:
The occasion of baby Prince George's Christening =
Recognising gift: this boy can be, or echo, a Spencer.

View with:
New galaxy 'most distant' yet discovered =
Try, a vast giant cosmos widely extended

Mark Huffman with:
Angela Merkel's phone tapped =
Helped NSA peek at German pol.

Ellie Dent with:
Diana's grandson, Prince George, Christened ~
in one grand dress, echoing a preceding star.

View with:
Anti-NSA protest calls for end to US spying =
Data control left suppression. Nasty sign!

Adie Pena with:
The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act =
Not acceptable to a darn fanatic or the fetid Rep.

Adie Pena with:
The anti-Obamacare interest groups =
Thus I target poor, beaten Americans.

George Sicherman with:
Halloween candy? ~
Chew none all day.

David Bourke with:
Lewis Allan Reed ~
dies, we all learn.

Rosie Perera with:
Chewed on any/all ~
Halloween candy.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Washington standoff =
Staff had no news tonight.

Ellie Dent with:
Halloween antics =
All see witch anon?

Tony Crafter with:

"Well, did the USA tap a German Chancellor's phone?" we ask
"Own up! Who taped Angela Merkel's cell-chats?"
"NSA, I heard."

Tony Crafter with:
Own up! Who taped Angela Merkel's cell-chats? (NSA, I heard)=
"Well, did the USA tap a German Chancellor's phone?" we ask

Andrew Brehaut with:
Miriam Carey can ~
cry "I am American!"


1st - nedesto with:
German physicist Albert Einstein =
This gentleman I respect is brainy.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
English actress Dame Helen Lydia Mirren, DBE =
Desirable thing elderly men chase in dreams!

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
François Rabelais =
An alias for scribe.

View with:
Fashion model Erin Heatherton =
Ah, one notes her thin, ideal form!

View with:
Dario Franchitti =
Fit in car, hit road.

Julian Lofts with:
Maria de Villota ‡
la vie maladroit

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Scientists Peter Higgs and Francois Englert =
Gents infer signs scant God particle is there

Adie Pena with:
The composer Charles-Camille Saint-Saens =
Classic "Animals." Cheers to more elephants!

Christopher Sturdy with:
James Kimberley Corden =
Can idly remember jokes.

Julian Lofts with:
Lewis Allan "Lou" Reed ~
as lewd, lean, ill roué

David Bourke with:
Lewis Allan 'Lou' Reed =
We're all delusional.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Germany's Chancellor Angela Dorothea Merkel =
No sorry old male challenger can take her game!

Meyran Kraus with:
The criminal Pablo Escobar =
Colombian's a terrible chap!

Rosie Perera with:
The Senate Chaplain Barry Black =
He prays, then can't back a liberal.

Maurice G. with:
The Nazi Leader Adolf Hitler =
Head zealot rat fried in Hell!

Zdenko with:
Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni =
I'll come in void basilica in Rome to honour God!


eq1st - Adie Pena with:
Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, London =
Other noble lads speak here on stage.

eq1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Global Positioning Systems =
Smooth going by satellite’s spin

3rd - View with:
The Amstel beer =
Best ale here!™
Julian Lofts with:
Lithium carbonate =
Oh let it curb mania.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Dam Busters ~
made the bursts.

Rosie Perera with:
Tea Party Republicans =
Be a tyrant. Cripple USA!

Ivan Andonov with:
Gethsemane =
The sage men.

Mark Huffman with:
"Global warming," aka "climate change" =
"All melting?" Maniac whacko garbage.

View with:
New Apple iPad =
Wide app panel

Adie Pena with:
The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act =
Not acceptable to a darn fanatic or the fetid Rep.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act =
A battered plan in effect to train a cheap doctor

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act =
The data of doctor plan finance at a better price

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act ~
had one tap doctor finance at a better flat price

Zdenko with:
The Supermarine Spitfire =
RAF: The nipper is emeritus!

Ed Pegg Jr with:
National Electronics Museum =
LAN telecommunications user.

nedesto with:
Blockbuster's chain of video and game rental stores =
Another fat re-organised LLC moved back to business.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Food and Drug Administration =
Oh damn, did it test on a fairground?

Meyran Kraus with:
The popular hit Candy Crush Saga =
Had such an urge to play this crap!


1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Most famous artworks by Da Vinci:

1. Mona Lisa
2. The Last Supper
3. Vitruvian Man
4. Lady with an Ermine
5. Self-portrait in red chalk
1. Attractive smile
2. Savior's fabled lunch
3. Proportional anatomy
4. Duke's fairly vain mistress
5. Man drawn with unkempt hair

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Maxim's top five hottest women (2013):
1. Miley Cyrus
2. Selena Gomez
3. Rihanna
4. Mila Kunis
5. Jennifer Lawrence


1. She'll "twerk" on MTV
2. Latina honey
3. I perform music tunes
4. A sexy feminine Jew
5. Amazing cinema roles

3rd - Tyler Severance with:
Tin Man's heart
Scarecrow's brain
Cowardly Lion's courage =
Oil with screws
A cranial bone organ
Must carry on scared.

Adie Pena with:
The Beatles: John Winston Ono Lennon, James Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Richard 'Ringo Starr' Starkey
As Northern sons join together, ably plan, make joy in arranging orchestral music and set another new record.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons ~
won that high honorific of a Nobel Peace Prize to omit sarin

Christopher Sturdy with:
What can one make with those most basic ingredients: flour, water, yeast, sugar, salt and fat?
Answer was: A loaf of bread
Not: A sticky mess that caused grim guts in the wheat-intolerant!

Tony Crafter with:
“If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.” - Albert Einstein =
I spot the bare bones of truth in this earnest desire for that infinite ideal.

David Bourke with:
IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), otherwise known as a "spastic colon" =
A stinker. "Down below" in crisis... a colostomy is the probable answer!

Zdenko with:
Phidias, an Ancient Greek sculptor, painter and architect
Artist's epic crack art up in Parthenon - nice gilded Athena!

nedesto with:
A guy walked into the doctor's office. He had two grapes in his ear, two tiny mangoes in the other ear, and pudding in his nose. ~

He said, "Doc, any idea what's wrong with me?"

The doc looked hard upon his patient, offering, "Son, I sense you aren't eating right."

Ellie Dent with:
This tourist bloke, Benny, walks into a fish and chip shop and says:

'Hey there, mate! Can I have some of your large, battered fish?'


'Ah, OK. Fresh in daily from the sea! And I promise you it won't be
very long', says a chap in sales.

'Oh shucks! It had better be fat then.'

Maurice Goddard with:
Dell users get claws out over laptops that stink of cat pee =
Upset tap reek's actual stench! Worst of all, pet dogs love it!

Maurice Goddard with:
A grotesque unjust being! An inhuman Commie! See that animal in ~
The Mao Tse-tung Mausoleum in Tiananmen Square, Beijing, China


1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Life is like photography - we develop from the negatives.=
Rightly kept, this image of people who I love never fades.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"Life is like photography - we develop from the negatives." =
The evil theory spoke of film. Perhaps we've gone digital?!

3rd - Julian Lofts with:
Life is like photography - we develop from the negatives
Some deft pillage
The week
Josiah Winslow with:
Tragedy forgiven will help make these of hope positive.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
From dark we ape people evolve eyesight to finish light

nedesto with:
To golf is like orgasm - happy event if we drive the pole, eh?

Rosie Perera with:
Lifelike Photoshop! Few girls'd pay, remove the negative.

Adie Pena with:
While I've liked every snapshot of great people of might.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Fights for Darwin, yet high apes evolve to people like me.

Rosie Perera with:
I keep gallery of them who lived in past (forgive the pose!).

Rosie Perera with:
Life's a Polaroid: foggy white prints evolve; keep them, eh?

Dharam Khalsa with:
Mighty oak, "We'll thrive if pigeon poop has ever left seed."

Rosie Perera with:
A photograph keeps, yet life's worth living! Move, feel, die!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
One might see happy folk evolve with pedigree of trials

Dharam Khalsa with:
Okay, give me a filled proof sheet to help preview things.

View with:
Life is POSITIVE. Keep gathered love of many, help growth.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Life's like love for we might pay OR get shipped to heaven.

Dharam Khalsa with:
I'd live long, improve with age - offers hope, yet takes help!

Tony Crafter with:
I prefer the positives: Faith; Love; Hope; Knowledge; My gal!

Julian Lofts with:
Photos of evil - Hitler (fevered), Stalin (pig), Mao (geeky). Phew!

Dharam Khalsa with:
I peek, hoping we evolve as the flat grey photo film dries!

Jason Lofts with:
OK, get the HIV positive feel - see a lewd pornography film!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Highly vivid mistakes we offer get people to learn hope!

Josiah Winslow with:
Well, shake it off, give pride, give my people another shot!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Like wines, if the good type - age helps improve the flavor.

Tyler Severance with:
Weed/pot - Oh gosh it feels like moving happily ever after.

Ellie Dent with:
Why, folk emerge positive: the Lord's people given a faith.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Pro's tip: Life might have folks weeping - have red-eye tool.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Love helps
Improve, if gray;
Feeling askew?
Edit the photo!

Zdenko with:
Every weird image shot kept half of those people living.

Meyran Kraus with:
Evil people fear the Good - like swamps, they thrive in fog.

Meyran Kraus with:
"View life like a happy photo - never forget the smiles." (God)

Larry Brash with:
The gag proves why people like life in the video formats.

Mark McNamara with:
Evil kilo pegged, I even stop for pose with healthy frame!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Paper photos make light of life; everything we love dies.

Meyran Kraus. with:
"Life is like photography - we develop from the negatives."

Meyran Kraus with:
"Pass. Why develop film? Like, forget it! Here, I've got a phone."


1st - Tony Crafter with:
A woman asked her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declined. "Thanks for the offer, but I am really not hungry right now. It's that darned Viagra," he said. "It has taken the edge off my appetite."

Three hours later she asked if he wanted anything to eat or drink for elevenses and she got the same reply.

At lunchtime, she enquired if he would like to have something now? "How about a bowl of soup with hot, buttered muffins or perhaps a toasted cheese and ham sandwich?"

He declined, and informed her: "It's that Viagra, it has really dulled my need for food."

Dinnertime came, and she asked if he wanted anything to eat now. "Wouldn't you like a nice, juicy rib eye steak and a scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or a tasty stir fry?"

He declined again. “No," he said, "it must be the Viagra that's responsible; I'm still not at all hungry."

"Well," she said, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm bloody starving!"


After thirty years of being stuck in a joyless marriage, a husband and wife came to see a marriage counsellor.

When he asked what the problem was, the wife just cut in and went off into an acidic tirade, reciting every domestic problem she'd ever had in the time they'd been married: Piggish behaviour; lack of intimacy, emptiness, isolation, feeling unloved and unlovable - a sad list, in fact, of all the emotional neglect she'd endured over the years.

After allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the office-desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her long and passionately as the husband looked on meekly.

The woman immediately shut up and sat down as though in a dream. Turning to the husband, the therapist said, "Okay, this is what your wife requires a good three times a week. Could you manage it?"

"Oh..." replied the husband, "Well, I'm okay to drop her off here Mondays and Thursdays, but I play golf on the other days."

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Ron, an elderly Australian man, had owned a farm for a number of years. He had a large pond in the back yard.

The pond was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with two picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lime trees.

One evening, Ron decided to go out to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and wanted to look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he moved forward with a flashlight, Ron observed a gaggle of women skinny-dipping. He made the bathing ladies aware of his presence, and they all raced to the deep end.

Positioning herself lower in the pond, one bather exclaimed, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The honourable farmer responded, "Sorry, I didn't come down to harass or take advantage, or watch you bathing gals scrabble out of the pond naked. "

eq3rd - nedesto with:
Top Ten Golf Two-liners

Golfer: I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
Caddy: Do you think you could keep your head down for that long?

Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.
Caddy: Try heaven, you already moved half of the earth.

Golfer: Do you think my swing is better?
Caddy: Oh, yes sir. You always miss the balls much closer now.

Golfer: Do you imagine I can get to the hole with a five iron?
Caddy: Yes... eventually.

Golfer: Please stop looking at your watch. It's too disturbing.
Caddy: But it isn't a watch, sir. It's a compass. ~

Golfer: You must be the most terrible, awkward caddy in the world.
Caddy: I don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence.

Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good, sir. Though personally, I prefer golf.

Golfer: This is the most rough, uneven course I've ever seen.
Caddy: This isn't the course, sir. We must have left that over an hour ago.

Golfer: Now that can't be my ball, it looks too old.
Caddy: We teed off a long time ago, sir.

Golfer: Do you think playing on a Sunday is a sin?
Caddy: Personally, I think the way that you play, it's a sin any day.

Brandishing a bucket, he announced, "I'm here to feed our piranhas."

eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
1. "Come Together"
2. "Something"
3. "Maxwell's Silver Hammer"
4. "Oh! Darling"
5. "Octopus's Garden"
6. "I Want You (She's So Heavy)"
7. "Here Comes the Sun"
8. "Because"
9. "You Never Give Me Your Money"
10. "Sun King"
11. "Mean Mr. Mustard"
12. "Polythene Pam"
13. "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window"
14. "Golden Slumbers"
15. "Carry That Weight"
16. "The End"
17. "Her Majesty"
1. Catchy humour by John
2. Hush! George's gem!
3. "Granny music"
4. Composed by Paul
5. Hum the Ringo ditty!
6. Lennon music
7. George's tune
8. Why Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" in reverse?
9. Medley start
10. Good harmony
11. How we remember the miser!
12. A wayward dame
13. The break-in
14. Same old verse
15. Has a chorus here
16. The last movement
17. Paul's exit

Ellie Dent with:
Benjamin, a teenager in love, is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the much planned fun prom event. First, he
goes to rent himself a chic tuxedo, but there's a huge line at the entrance to the shop, and he has to wait, unhappily.

Then he has to buy flowers, and so goes to a florist. Man, there's an unusually long line there also! If he waits, then he can get the last bunch of vivid flowers.


Then he goes to rent a flashy, white limo. Unfortunately, there is an extra long line at the rental office, but he's
patient and eventually gets the job done.

At last, the actual day of the prom arrives. The two are dancing, and his girlfriend is having a wonderful, fabulous
time. When the song finishes, she asks him to get some punch.

He goes over to the punch table ... there is no punch line.

Christopher Sturdy with:
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men.
The esteemed lines are in Cool Hand Luke, a theme Guns 'n' Roses use too in the track, Civil War.
You ought to see the hit film; what a joy!
With watery eyes we watch Newman meet a macho guy with wit.

Tyler Severance with:
> 15 places you can't visit
> 1. Area fifty one, Nevada
> 2. Chapel of the Ark of the Covenant, Ethiopia
> 3. Cheyenne Mountain Complex, Wyoming
> 4. Club Thirty Three, New Orleans
> 5. Coca Cola's recipe vault, Atlanta
> 6. Ise Grand Shrine, Japan
> 7. Moscow Metro Two, Russia
> 8. Mount Weather Emergency Operations Center, Virginia
> 9. North Sentinel Island, Maine
> 10. RAF Menwith Hill, U.K.
> 11. Svalbard Global Seed Vault, Norway
> 12. Vatican Secret Archives, Rome
> 13. White's Gentlemen's Club, London
> 14. Woomera Prohibited Area, Australian Outback
> 15. The Three Gorges Dam, China
> =
> 1. X Files
> 2. Ten Commandments at resting place?
> 3. Cold war strategy took place there huh
> 4. Disney's high class social invitation
> 5. Beverage nickname: an artificial brown water
> 6. Amaterasu' private rest
> 7. Stalin' cold war train, you commy foe
> 8. FEMA evacuation event + I vaccinate a human
> 9. No one is there to account
> 10. Nice, a NSA world class eavesdropping
> 11. I need a corn munch; 'jolly' north pole neighbor nearby
> 12. Hitler has letters there, but no faith huh
> 13. Vow: Allow no women please
> 14. Their huge, active area 51
> 15. Aim: dunk water - energy no problem.

Dharam Khalsa with:
There was a young man named "Odd." People made fun of him because of his name;
therefore, he decided to leave his gravestone blank when he died.
Epilogue: Now he is at peace. When someone beholds the man's unmarked, name-free grave,
he may indeed offer in a befuddled voice, "Hah, that's Odd!"


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Perfect Day by Lou Reed

Just a perfect day,
Drink sangria in the park
And then later, when it gets dark, we go home.

Just a perfect day,
Feed animals in the zoo
Then later, a movie, too, and then home.

Oh, it's such a perfect day,
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh, such a perfect day,
You just keep me hanging on,
You just keep me hanging on...

Just a perfect day,
Problems all left alone,
Weekenders on our own, it's such fun.

Just a perfect day,
You made me forget myself,
I thought I was someone else, someone good.

Oh, it's such a perfect day,
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh, such a perfect day,
You just keep me hanging on,
You just keep me hanging on...

You're going to reap just what you sow.


Goodbye, Lou Reed

To this gifted man!
He just brought us so much joy,
Each one of the tunes employs loads of depth.

Don't forget that man
Each time you pick up a pick,
And play "Egg Cream" with a kick, like his stuff.

To the edgy music man!
He's just the type we enjoy.
Oh, we cheer the man
Free of woe and soaring up,
So astute and rising up...

I applaud you, man,
No star made us weep like you.
Great poets are often few, so we ache.

Eulogize that man,
Read lyrics of lengthy songs
Like "Sweet Jane" and other strong, faded gifts.

Oh, weep for my edgy man
Unjustly taken today.
Rest in peace, my man,
Earning that euphoric joy,
Earning that euphoric joy...

Deep under us, you just live on.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:


Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic; far from it. He was notorious for entangling the city in everything from bootleg liquor and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was Capone's lawyer for one reason - he was rather good! In fact, Eddie's unique skill at legal manoeuvring kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him extremely well. Not only was the amount of money enormous, but Eddie got preferential 'perks' also. For instance, he and his family had a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the modern conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire city block.

He lived the high-life of the mobsters and gave scant consideration to all the evils that went on around him.

The affluent lawyer did have one soft spot, though. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie made sure that his son had smart clothes, an automobile, and a superior education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object.

And, in spite of his attachment to organised crime, Eddie tried to teach him right from wrong. He wanted his son to be a far better man than he was. But, in spite of all his wealth and influence, there were two things that the corrupt lawyer couldn't give his son: he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Eddie made a difficult decision. He wanted to put right all the wrongs he had done.

He decided he'd go to the authorities and tell the truth about Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. In doing this, he knew he'd have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the resultant cost would be terrible. But he testified.

Within the year, Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lone Chicago street. But, in his death, he had bequeathed his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price that a man could pay. The cops removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem that he had snipped from a magazine. The poem read:

"The clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop,
At late or early hour.
Now is the only time you own.
So live, love, toil with a will,
Place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still."



World War II produced many heroes.
One such man was Lieutenant Commander Edward 'Butch' O'Hare.

Butch was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.

One day, he and his squadron were sent out on a mission. While he was in mid-air, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to fill the tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete the mission and get back to his ship.

His senior flight leader told him to return to the carrier, so he reluctantly obeyed, dropped out of the formation and headed gloomily back to the fleet.

On his way to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold... a squadron of Japanese aircraft was heading toward the American fleet!

His fellow fighters were away on a sortie, leaving the fleet defenseless.

He could not reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Neither could he warn the fleet of the approaching aerial danger. So he decided there was only one thing to do. He'd got to somehow divert them...

Ignoring his personal safety, he accelerated and dived into the formation of Japanese planes.

Wing-mounted machine-guns blazed as he charged in, boldly attacking one enemy plane after another.

Butch wove elusively in and out of the now broken formation, firing at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.

Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dived at the planes, trying to clip a wing or a tail in hopes of damaging as many as possible, leaving them unfit to fly.

Finally the exasperated Japanese planes took off in another direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his plane limped back to the ship.

Upon landing, he related the whole event. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale too. It showed the extent of Butch's attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft.

For this action, Butch became the Navy's first Ace of WWII, the first Naval Aviator to win the Medal of Honour.


A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat, aged only twenty-nine.

His home town could not allow the memory of this WWII hero to die and today O'Hare Airport in Chicago is so titled in dedication to the courage of this good man.


Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A sonnet from Caelica

In night when colors all to black are cast,
Distinction lost, or gone down with the light,
The eye a watch to inward senses placed,
Not seeing, yet still having powers of sight,
Gives vain alarums to the inward sense
Where fear stirred up with witty tyranny
Confounds all powers, and thorough self-offense
Doth forge and raise impossibility:
Such as in thick depriving darknesses
Proper reflections of the error be
And images of self-confusednesses,
Which hurt imaginations only see;
And from this nothing seen, tells news of devils
Which but expressions be of inward evils.


Night of the Dead

When darling children go to find that treat
As corpses, vixens, ghosts and apparitions,
No witnesses and people serving sweets
Will find this scene obscene by definition.
We're willing to repress the wicked sight
So no one fathoms something more primeval:
The flippant tone in this October night
Conceals the real identity of Evil.
Why only focus on the wrongs within,
If Halloween is warding off such traces
Of any selfishness and daily sins?
God knows our florid masks are but our faces.
This is what children's costumes can reveal:
Their wrongs are false, but ours are very real.

Christopher Sturdy with:
You cannot hope
to bribe or twist,
thank God! the
British journalist.
But, seeing what
the man will do
unbribed, there's
no occasion to.
Incorruptible BBC?
Not so,
I thought I heard a whistle blow-,
er just then;
about time say those in the know.
Abandon torn discretion, go.

Tony Crafter with:
Wayne Fontana

Pamela, Pamela
Remember the days
Of inkwells and apples
And books and school plays.

Where little Brer Rabbit kissed Pooh in the wood
And Fluff was the cat that sat on the rug

When Laurel and Hardy were shown at the flicks
With sticky red lollies on splintery sticks
Pigtails and ribbons and crushes on miss
Secret discussions about a first kiss.

But you were young
And everything was new
Impatient to do things you couldn't do.

Oh, Pamela, Pamela
You started to grow
Answers to questions you wanted to know.

When the rest of your childhood
Forgets as a dream
And the harshness of life
Dims the peaches and cream .

When Laurel and Hardy were shown at the flicks
With sticky red lollies on splintery sticks
Pigtails and ribbons and crushes on miss
Secret discussions about a first kiss .

But you were young
And everything was new
Impatient to do things you couldn't do.



A Sad and a Sorry Saga

Pamela Anderson
Reminds us of days
Of 'Baywatch' and 'Playboy'
With breasts on display.

When she was star feature in every guy's dreams
Some of them wanton and most quite obscene

She starred in some soppy, crass C-rated flicks
And glossy men's mags were adorned with her pics
In tiny bikinis, or nothing at all
Her pinups were seen on all lads' bedroom walls

Life was fun
And she could do no wrong
But, like the pics, it would fade before long...

Then Pam lost her 'wow!'
And work started to slow
She 'danced with the stars'
But danced out of the show.

Then, in 'Dancing On Ice', set
In the rainy UK,
She skated but was duly
Kicked out first day.

Then she hit rock bottom (still in the UK)
Playing in pantos for peanuts on stage,
A sad career choice, but it helped pay the bills
Pam's lost her way but she's not lost her will.

I wish you luck
Pam, what I say is true,
I know it for certain - most guys still
Love you

Adie Pena with:


It struck so hard and people died,
Happened so quick, many are dead.
The earth shook, took them all off guard.
And people died, it struck so hard.

Dreadful picture, so much sorrow.
People crying, suffering shows.
Some lost it all and thats for sure.
So much sorrow, dreadful picture.

They need our aid and our prayers.
'Cause this pain is more than they bear.
Tragedy takes toll and they bleed.
Our prayers and our aid they need.



Colored pure thoughts to desecrate
Earmarked islands to resuscitate.
Beneath a sludge pile of hard pain;
Under a puddle of splashed rain.

Afraid of the murmured shake,
Now paralysed souls are at stake.
Dropping on the churchyard hour,
Belfry and shuttered antique tower.

Opportunity there repeatedly knocks;
Hidden chaos in dry dusty rocks.
Outside my gloomy room, I fear
Life's other shadow could disappear.

Dharam Khalsa with:
O, that thou wouldst as well afford a grave
As thou canst yield a melancholy seat!
Then would I hide my bones, not rest them here.
O, the man Richard’s death remains would be sought
north, south, east, west, at a school, meadow, valley –
yet found left in the alley?!


1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
"I can please her four times a night" =
Hearing it puts a smile on her face :-)

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Gastrointestinal discomfort =
I got colitis and monster farts.

3rd - View with:
First time having intercourse =
Firm at coitus, he enters virgin.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Great Expectations =
Get epic sex on a tart?

nedesto with:
Esquire's Sexiest Woman Issue: Scarlett Johansson
Nor just a star's exquisite wholesomeness... NICE ASS!

Tony Crafter with:
Repeating sex act to ~
great expectations!

Adie Pena with:
The lady is a virgin =
Idly, it's her vagina!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Crash! Bang! Wallop! =
Balls! Wang! Oh crap!

Zdenko with:
Erectile dysfunctions =
Deny, reflects in coitus!

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