Current Nominations for January, 2018 [105]

Anagrammy Awards >Anagrammy Awards Forum > Current Nominations

GENERAL (15) ENTERTAINMENT (6) TOPICAL (35) PEOPLES NAMES (6)
OTHER NAMES (3) MEDIUM LENGTH (9) LONG (6) SPECIAL (3)
UNSPECIFIED (0)ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE (15) RUDE (7) Counts by Author

THE GENERAL CATEGORY [15 nominations]

View with:
The catering =
Eat...retching!

Tom Myers with:
Really no places to raise a child =
Royal palaces isolate children.

Rosie Perera with:
A severe medical condition =
Since I vomit, need a real doc.

Adie Pena with:
With all due respect, ~
we'll act stupid here.

Tom Myers with:
Movies are dead =
Videos are made.

Tom Myers with:
It was said to be "The war to end all wars" =
World War I -- battles, headstones await.

Tom Myers with:
Already this evening, ~
I have sinned greatly..

Tom Myers with:
Hiding under a blanket =
Dreading unthinkable.

db with:
A shithole ~
has the oil!

Ellie with:
Children's tooth decay =
Ditch the candy... or L_O_S_E!

Tom Myers with:
The gift of diamonds =
Oft done amid fights.

John Ramos with:
Human remains =
Ah, me. Man's ruin.

HSP with:
Noise-cancelling headphones =
Shh!... No din... A long silence... Peace :-)

Tony Crafter with:
The politics of sex =
Ethics of exploits.

Tom Myers with:
Watch your step. ~
Why? Carpet's out.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY [6 nominations]

Tom Myers with:
The actress Jodie Whittaker ~
tries that Dr. Who jacket, I see.

Tom Myers with:
The Girl From Ipanema =
Prime thing for a male.

Adie Pena with:
The Nintendo Switch video game console =
Nothing-to-do males own the nice devices.

View with:
"Lord of the Rings" =
If holder - strong!

Ellie with:
The author Michael Wolff's Fire and Fury =
Cruel to the fluffy fair-haired showman? ;)

Tony Crafter with:
The Colombian singer Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll =
Look! S. American babe's hip-rolling is a remarkable hit!


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY [35 nominations]

Tom Myers with:
A note on the politics of climate change =
No action to heal melting of the ice caps.

Rosie Perera with:
Word of the Year for twenty-seventeen (telegraph.co.uk) =
Whereupon they rank DT's loony tweet "covfefe" greater.

Adie Pena with:
The legalisation of recreational marijuana =
Use that joint in a more legal California area!

Ellie with:
Storm Eleanor to hit UK =
Look, it's Mother Nature!

rp with:
The year two thousand eighteen =
You and I together hate the news.

Snafu with:
Is this Jerusalem decision of POTUS Trump ~
just more US imperial shit? If so, stop, dunce.

Snafu I'll Jot with:
Saudi abuses newborn =
A nurse wounds babies.

Rosie Perera with:
"Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House" =
He who is unfit fraud yet president -- rue him!

Rosie Perera with:
Bomb cyclone causes storm, hampers Northeast =
Story concerns Trump 'cos he blames the Obamas.

Dharam with:
Massive "bombogenesis" in northeastern US =
As in, severe hammering to Boston business.

Tom Myers with:
Trump "I'm a very stable genius" =
Impulsive argument betrays

Adie Pena with:
Iran's to end most ~
demonstrations.

Adie Pena with:
Trump: "I am a very stable genius." =
A truism? Presumably negative!

db with:
President Donald Trump: "I am a very stable genius!" =
Turnip adds a response: "I'm TRULY a vegetable, mind!"

View with:
"Me too" movement =
Memo to veto men.

FatPhil with:
A very stable genius =
Guy elevates brains

Tony Crafter with:
Actress Reese Witherspoon =
We see her in a cross protest.

Adie Pena with:
Shithole countries =
The solution? Riches!

John Ramos with:
"People from places like Norway" =
I welcome any proper pale folks.

Tom Myers with:
Immigrants from shithole countries =
Might limit more Russians, French too!

View with:
The president of the United States is racist =
Tests find a suspect other-identities hater.

Tom Myers with:
On alert =
Not real.

Tom Myers with:
Donald Trump, Stormy Daniels =
U.S. Tyrant's limp rod and model.

John Ramos with:
"I am not a racist." =
I am Satanic rot.

dk with:
The erroneous missile alert in Hawaii =
Alarm in White House: "Is it real?" "No siree!"

Adie Pena with:
The African nations are shithole countries =
The insane notion of a rich racist. Hate rules!

Rosie Perera with:
I am a very stable genius =
Is mean, greatly abusive.

Snafu I'll Jot with:
Cognitive testing =
Egotistic venting.

Adie Pena with:
Mental health issues of the president =
See less of that in the headlines, Trump?

Adie Pena with:
After the Christmas holiday season =
Oh, cashless at this darn time of year!

Tom Myers with:
Tom Petty's death is ruled an accidental overdose. =
Tried acid, and eventually he starts to de-compose.

Rosie Perera with:
One year of President Trump =
I'd prefer anyone to Mr. Upset.

Rosie Perera with:
One year of President Trump =
Permanent post? You're fired!

db with:
Donald Trump's first year =
Stormy. Dreadful in parts!

Snafu I'll Jot with:
One year of President Trump =
Performs in a trendy toupee.


THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY [6 nominations]

Adie Pena with:
Natasha Bedingfield =
English and a bit deaf.

View with:
A sexy, silky ~
Alexis Skyy.

Snafu I'll Jot with:
Howard Stern =
Sworn hatred.

Adie Pena with:
The porn star Stormy Daniels =
"Smart" president's horny a lot!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Sarah Huckabee Sanders =
She sure can be a hard ask.

Tony Crafter with:
Ms Stephanie Gregory Clifford (Stormy Daniels) =
Sir Donald's grimy pay-off terms got her silence.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY [3 nominations]

Adie Pena with:
Fox Entertainment Group =
Often exonerating Trump.

Rosie Perera with:
Doctors of Traditional Chinese Medicine =
"Horrified at needles, concoctions," I admit.

Rosie Perera with:
Law Enforcement Appreciation Day =
I left warm note and repay a nice cop.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY [9 nominations]

Adie Pena with:
The Most Returned Christmas Gifts*
1. Clothing
2. Home items
3. Toys
4. Beauty items
5. Perfumes
6. Electronics
7. Jewelry
8. Watches
=
1. Itchy jammies; shirts
2. Wrench sets
3. Twister
4. 'Glossy Me' effect
5. Bottled eucalyptus
6. Mouse
7. Hematite ring
8. Chronometer.

Rosie Perera with:
Oprah Winfrey Receives Cecil B. de Mille Award at the Golden Globes =
She gave a really incredible bracing #MeToo speech, felt worldwide.

Snafu I'll Jot with:
The delightful Australian Akubra girl Amy 'Dolly' Everett dies =
Bullies, thugs did ravage and kill her remotely. A true fatality.

Tony Crafter with:
The Three Wives of Paul McCartney
1. Linda Louise Eastman
2. Heather Anne Mills
3. Nancy Shevell
=
1. Vehemently anti-meat when alive
2. Selfish, callous schemer
3. Ah, a top stunner...and really nice!

Snafu I'll Jot with:
Three Potential Presidents of the United States of America
1. Oprah Winfrey
2. Kanye Omari West
3. Kid Rock=
Interested
1. This hefty talk show titan - "I care"
2. A depressed kooky entrepreneur - "I panic"
3. WTF or "I am a mofo".

Snafu I'll Jot with:
Three Potential Presidents of the United States of America
1. Oprah Winfrey
2. Kanye Omari West
3. Kid Rock
=
Interested
1. This hefty talk show titan - "I care"
2. A depressed kooky entrepreneur - "I panic"
3. WTF or "I am a mofo".

Christopher Davis with:
Anagram that should question a tubby, fake tan, truthless, naive, guilty, nitwit. Sad! =
I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius... and a very stable genius at that

Snafu I'll Jot with:
The Kardashian West Family comprises:
Kim
Kanye
North, Saint and now the gestationally carried female baby Chicago
=

Obscenely ditsy freak, asinine fame whore
Lean Dad has mania
Hatchling brats with pretty kooky tragicomical names.

Rosie Perera with:
Neil Diamond cancels tour after being diagnosed with Parkinson's =
"Sweet Caroline" lad is genius, can't perform, abandons hit. No kidding!?


THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY [15 nominations]

Adie Pena with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
ULTRA TRAGIC

After our jolly holiday expenses,
There are mouths I'll have to feed.
No coin the ATM dispenses;
Our bank account is emptied!

db with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette =
I see it's "The Grands" time in The Forum. Tony Crafter, he expects a spectacular haul...real demolition. (Jealous David Bourke only hopes not!)

Rosie Perera with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
O ruin! No property left, no house, no luck. I live in a s***hole. I just paid all my assets to axe the huge credit card statement for December! Aah!!

Tony Crafter with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
Mend the lock! January is gloomy and colder than the hair on a polar bear's arse. Despite this, I love to experience its tumultuous effect!

Dharam with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
"The extreme chill this year is unrelenting. It's too bleak for time outdoors. Honey, let's have a pounce, a fast cuddle." - Producer in pajamas

Snafu I'll Jot with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
It seemed to cheat, Jordan Belfort, that tenuous cryptocurrencies are a hoax, dropping in value. Oh, definitely a mistake. Hell, lose sums.

Dharam with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
It's cold out here! My proof:
The male exhibitionists are opting to use heavy fur-lapeled jackets,
and a "thermonuclear" alert sounds nice!

Ellie with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette =
Take heart! Many a lady is much moved, unseen, to reject our austere chill life, to explore her closet in a bid to update fashions to Spring.

db with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette =
Altogether, just a sleepless month of code-encumbered acute-paranoid exasperation for Chris Sturdy...then a likely vote humiliation!


Ellie with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
No estate have I
Expectations nil
Frost, cold, drear sky
Temperature chill
No sun comes out... sigh
One road ahead, uphill
But my fate, jeer I.





Rosie Perera with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
"I just marked the anniversary of Trump ascendancy. That s***hole moron oaf stole the election, uses explicit audio. Ugh!" - Liberal Deportee

HSP with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
All thanks to a fool, I have become used to austere times and find it easy to reject a high-price luxury until the land prospers once more.

Adie Pena with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
=
Oh, I'm one foolish man, I overspent;
Shut out, fully broke as expected.
I'm using an IOU to pay the rent.
Alas, all the credit cards are rejected!

Dharam with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle
=
A retirement means no regular paychecks;
If I hold no folio or trust,
The holiday needs can perplex...
But, I assume I have to adjust.

Jesse Frankovich with:
"January, month of empty pockets! Let us endure this evil month, anxious as a theatrical producer's forehead." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette =
Another note to check about, as I'm just real curious: If the federal government has closed up here, do I still need to pay my taxes in April?


THE LONG CATEGORY [6 nominations]

Ellie with:
A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening his wife wakes up to find her mother's gone. She rushes to find her husband. He then picks up his rifle and the couple set out to look for her. And then in a small clearing not far from their camp, they chance upon a chilling sight.
~
The pensioner mother-in-law is purple faced, hunched, and is backed up plum against a huge rock with a fierce, menacing lion in front of her. 'Oh, whatever are we gonna do ... run for help?' shrieks the wife. 'No. Nothing', says her husband, 'The lion has got himself into this mess alright. He can get himself out of it.'

Snafu I'll Jot with:
A list of some North American Nuclear Weapons Terminology includes:
1. The 'football'
2. The 'biscuit'
3. The US Commander-in-chief
4. A 'first strike'
=
1. Leather briefcase
2. List of codes
3. Tragicomic Mr Trump isn't a fool
4. We beat the shit out of insane Kim or China
UN say "Listen Mr Dunce - HELL NO!"

Tony Crafter with:
Celebrities that all passed away in 2017
1. Roger Moore
2. Erin Moran
3. Chuck Berry
4. Mary Tyler Moore
5. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
6. John Hurt
7. Jerry Lewis
8. Glen Campbell
9. Chester Bennington
10. Gregg Allman
11. William Peter Blatty
12. Adam West
13. Buddy Greco
14. Hugh Hefner
15. Tom Petty
16. David Cassidy
17. Fats Domino
18. Keith Chegwin
=
1. Gentleman James Bond
2. 'Happy Days' girl
3. 'Memphis Tennessee' man
4. Was in Dick Van Dyke show
5. Brit 'It girl'
6. 'Elephant Man' actor
7. Comedy actor
8. Country singer
9. Musician
10 - ditto -
11. Writer
12. Batman
13. Crooner
14. Mogul, grew the Playboy firm
15. Heartbreaker
16. Heartthrob
17. Jelly roll guy
18. 'Cheggers'

Died 2017. Farewell to them all.

Adie Pena with:
Movie and Television Documentaries about Donald Trump*
1. "Trump: What's The Deal?"
2. "You've Been Trumped"
3. "A Dangerous Game"
4. "Michael Moore in TrumpLand"
5. "Trumped: Inside the Greatest Political Upset of All Time"
6. "Trump Unauthorized"
7. "Trump: The Kremlin Candidate?"
=
1. The dream: Biz ventures and relationships
2. Golf course melodrama in Scotland
3. Ditto in Dubrovnik, Croatia
4. Pure momentum at the U.S. elections
5. The triumph: An outwitted Hillary pummelled and dumped
6. Meager memoir: Vague, adulterated
7. Meet a Putin puppet.



Snafu I'll Jot with:
Section Four of Amendment XXV to the United States Constitution: this is an emergency provision that allows the Vice President and members of the Cabinet to declare the President's unfit to carry out the duties of the presidency
=
That tendentious heretic, Donald Trump, exhibits clear signs of paranoid psychosis. Republicans must intervene, vow to testify, have the temerity to exscind the nutter from office and sentence the outcast to detention or demise.

Christopher Davis with:
A lone, unappealing, mean, unpopular, racist US President doesn't seem to greatly understand language, ethics, or government.

=

Demented
Onerous
Nasty
Appalling
Lecherous
Disgusting

Treasonous
Repugnant
Unrepentant
Megalomaniacal
Perverted


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY [3 nominations]

Tony Crafter with:
A SUBALTERN'S LOVE SONG
A poem by John Betjeman

Miss J. Hunter Dunn, Miss J. Hunter Dunn,
Furnish'd and burnish'd by Aldershot sun,
What strenuous singles we played after tea,
We in the tournament - you against me!

Love-thirty, love-forty, oh! weakness of joy,
The speed of a swallow, the grace of a boy,
With carefullest carelessness, gaily you won,
I am weak from your loveliness, Joan Hunter Dunn.

Miss Joan Hunter Dunn, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn,
How mad I am, sad I am, glad that you won,
The warm-handled racket is back in its press,
But my shock-headed victor, she loves me no less.

Her father's euonymus shines as we walk,
And swing past the summer-house, buried in talk,
And cool the verandah that welcomes us in
To the six-o'clock news and a lime-juice and gin.

The scent of the conifers, sound of the bath,
The view from my bedroom of moss-dappled path,
As I struggle with double-end evening tie,
For we dance at the Golf Club, my victor and I.

On the floor of her bedroom lie blazer and shorts,
And the cream-coloured walls are be-trophied with sports,
And westering, questioning settles the sun,
On your low-leaded window, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn.

The Hillman is waiting, the light's in the hall,
The pictures of Egypt are bright on the wall,
My sweet, I am standing beside the oak stair
And there on the landing's the light on your hair.

By roads "not adopted", by woodlanded ways,
She drove to the club in the late summer haze,
Into nine-o'clock Camberley, heavy with bells
And mushroomy, pine-woody, evergreen smells.

Miss Joan Hunter Dunn, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn,
I can hear from the car park the dance has begun,
Oh! Surrey twilight! importunate band!
Oh! strongly adorable tennis-girl's hand!

Around us are Rovers and Austins afar,
Above us the intimate roof of the car,
And here on my right is the girl of my choice,
With the tilt of her nose and the chime of her voice.

And the scent of her wrap, and the words never said,
And the ominous, ominous dancing ahead.
We sat in the car park till twenty to one
And now I'm engaged to Miss Joan Hunter Dunn.
=

MS. JENNIFER JOANNA ANISTON
(Mr. Vernon Kenneth Churchill's unsung love song)

Ms. Jennifer Joanna Aniston
Much too fresh to require Canesten,
I first fell in love when I saw her in 'Friends',
She was stunning and chic as a Mercedes Benz.

Lovelorn and smitten I sent her a cake,
Along with my photograph (hellish mistake)
Said I hoped the sponge was as scrummy as her,
She never replied, though I guess she'd concur.

Ms. Jennifer Joanna, they say faint heart
Can't win fair lady, so I made a start,
To woo her, pursue her and lure her on dates!
Then I bought a flight for the United States.

My wife gave me hell when I voiced my intentions,
I told her it was a dull business convention,
"Convention? You work down the sewers!" she'd crowed,
But I answered "In my job I go with the flow."

Told her the plan was to discuss proposals
On zonal link-ups for sewage disposals,
And my boss had suggested I was the best man,
He'd told them that no one talks crap like I can.

"Hmm, you're so lying," she'd murmured, "but go,
Though I trust this won't mirror that last fiasco,
You chased bombshell Shakira all round the globe,
Till she threatened your end with that long rectal probe!"

Thus, Jenny, I left and came straight to LA,
As I'd heard that's the smart place you dwell in these days,
I found your address and rang on the bell,
There was so very much I was longing to tell.

I'd announce: "I'm Vernon, your number one fan!"
And ask you to dinner, somewhere rather grand,
But the clown who answered informed me that you
Had gone to get married to Justin Theroux!

Ms. Jennifer Joanna Aniston
Hell, what've you done, Jenny? What've you done?
I dumped damn Shakira to run after you,
Now you're set to get wed, such a dumb thing to do!

But I'd made my commitment and if I left now,
I'd maybe rush in before she'd said her vows!
I called for a cab and yelled: "To the venue!
Must catch Jenny-babe before she says 'I do'!"

Now I've wound up in hospital, in an old robe,
Grr... Shakira had lent her that damn rectal probe!
But who's that cute lass on the bedside TV?
Meghan Markle? Ah, she's now the woman for me!

db with:
MS. JENNIFER JOANNA ANISTON
(Mr. Vernon Kenneth Churchill's unsung love song)

Ms. Jennifer Joanna Aniston
Much too fresh to require Canesten,
I first fell in love when I saw her in 'Friends',
She was stunning and chic as a Mercedes Benz.

Lovelorn and smitten I sent her a cake,
Along with my photograph (hellish mistake)
Said I hoped the sponge was as scrummy as her,
She never replied, though I guess she'd concur.

Ms. Jennifer Joanna, they say faint heart
Can't win fair lady, so I made a start,
To woo her, pursue her and lure her on dates!
Then I bought a flight for the United States.

My wife gave me hell when I voiced my intentions,
I told her it was a dull business convention,
"Convention? You work down the sewers!" she'd crowed,
But I answered "In my job I go with the flow."

Told her the plan was to discuss proposals
On zonal link-ups for sewage disposals,
And my boss had suggested I was the best man,
He'd told them that no one talks crap like I can.

"Hmm, you're so lying," she'd murmured, "but go,
Though I trust this won't mirror that last fiasco,
You chased bombshell Shakira all round the globe,
Till she threatened your end with that long rectal probe!"

Thus, Jenny, I left and came straight to LA,
As I'd heard that's the smart place you dwell in these days,
I found your address and rang on the bell,
There was so very much I was longing to tell.

I'd announce: "I'm Vernon, your number one fan!"
And ask you to dinner, somewhere rather grand,
But the clown who answered informed me that you
Had gone to get married to Justin Theroux!

Ms. Jennifer Joanna Aniston
Hell, what've you done, Jenny? What've you done?
I dumped damn Shakira to run after you,
Now you're set to get wed, such a dumb thing to do!

But I'd made my commitment and if I left now,
I'd maybe rush in before she'd said her vows!
I called for a cab and yelled: "To the venue!
Must catch Jenny-babe before she says 'I do'!"

Now I've wound up in hospital, in an old robe,
Grr... Shakira had lent her that damn rectal probe!
But who's that cute lass on the bedside TV?
Meghan Markle? Ah, she's now the woman for me!

=

MR. ANTHONY DAVID CRAFTER
(The brokenhearted response of the rejected Ms. Ketevan Melua)

Oh, my handsome man Tony! How dashing and dapper!
Oh, how COULD you wish for that damned Aniston slapper?
Pen her a shallow sonnet, within some letters constraint?
I should give her a right-hander...but "worth it", she ain't!

This in-vain crush on Shakira I shall tolerate...just.
(As some doddering septuagenarian's long-deluded lust).
But JEN? Brad Pitt's cast-off? Over ME you'd prefer?
Well, I'm sure you need no laminated posters of HER!

I first saw you, Super-manful, in Sevenoaks Station,
When cursing some London Bridge fast cancellation.
And you bestrode platform three, a hunky blue Lycra vision,
Scarlet-caped, and absurd Y-Fronts, that caused much derision.

And this divine moment, wet as an otter's pocket I felt,
Then you shunned my advances! What a harsh hand you dealt,
When all I wanted in life was just sigh with delight,
Whilst you anagrams devised, in the spare room all night.

Then I became Mrs Toseland, whilst you'd endeavour,
Some Colombian to score...whenever, wherever.
And to snare that sad bint Jen, your efforts then turned,
I'm the closest to crazy...inconsolable, hurt, spurned!

I must now call off the search, with hindsight I surmise,
In the Three Horseshoes hide broken, glum...bawl out my eyes.
And for Daily Mail long anagrams, I shall forever hanker,
As one cannot, I guess, match the wit of a banker.

You want Jen? Then just HAVE her, you womanising rat!
With nine million bikes, and you shunned me, to mount THAT?
And Mrs. Theroux might be a cosmetics endorser,
But Jen's just not that into you, and you can't force her.

If on my hand, dahling, you shan't put a gold ring,
I shall drown all my sorrows, in downtown Beijing.
Then skedaddle home to Georgia, just fresh changes of scene,
And find a well-endowed new husband, to make Rachel green.

Showdown, Mr C! Have Jen the Bubble? Or me?
Just ONE squeeze, honey! Well? Now who's it to be?
And remember, tbh, your hitching options are few,
When some dishevelled ginge, to his Meghan beat you!

Adie Pena with:
JUMP

I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I've seen the toughest all around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real
Oh can't you see me standing here,
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen.
Oh can't you see what I mean?
Might as well jump. Jump!
Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.
Aaa-ohh Hey you! Who said that?
Baby how you been?
You say you don't know, you won't know until you begin.
Well can't you see me standing here,
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen.
Oh can't you see what I mean?
Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.
Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.

[Instrumental solo]

Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.
Get it and jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.

=

TRUMP

What a joke, this anomalous John
With jumbo jets. A total jerk, he's just a big con.
Claims he enjoys his daytime job.
In that jumble, he's a racist; he in a jam, a snob!
See a deal tycoon become a loon
Agitating Asia, China with wee juvenile Kim Jong-un.
Hashing junk so picayune
With Jared humming the tune.
Might as well dump Trump!
Whoa, let's go dump!
Oh, go eject Trump!
Go ahead, dump.
Aaa-ohh Hey you! You that ape?
Donald, how have you been?
On a golf junket with coyotes who just love to be seen?
Many thieves have caught you lying!
Anyway, you got to stop that ugly tweeting
The damage we're denying.
You even got me yawning.
Might as well dump Trump!
Women go dump
A huge demagogue Trump!
Away we go dump!

[Instrumental solo]

Just eject that Trump!
Whoopee! They just dump!
Oh, Putin hump Trump!
We all go dump!


THE RUDE CATEGORY [7 nominations]

Snafu I'll Jot with:
To speak in a disrespectful way =
Say "Fucker! Asswipe! Tadpole! Nit!"

Adie Pena with:
The homosexuals =
Huh? Same sex tool!

Adie Pena with:
The "shithole countries" remark of Trump =
Truth? He is a simpleton or motherfucker!

jr with:
Stormy Daniels =
Dolt's in my arse.

Tom Myers with:
POTUS and the porn star =
rent that pro...pound ass!

Christopher Davis with:
Donald Trump gave hush money to Stormy Daniels ~
and loved to madly hump another young mistress

Snafu I'll Jot with:
Stephanie Gregory Clifford (alias 'Stormy Daniels') =
Mr President clarifies - "Doggy style on sofa." Ha, liar!


Count of Nominations by Author

= Nom in all categories (not counting Rude & Unspecified)

Adie Pena  19(gen, ent, top 7, ppl 2, oth, med, lng, spc, awc 2, rud 2)
Tom Myers  16(gen 7, ent 2, top 6, rud)
Rosie Perera  13(gen, top 6, oth 2, med 2, awc 2)
Snafu Ill Jot  13(top 3, ppl, med 4, lng 2, awc, rud 2)
Tony Crafter  8(gen, ent, top, ppl, med, lng, spc, awc)
db  6(gen, top 2, spc, awc 2)
Ellie  6(gen, ent, top, lng, awc 2)
View  5(gen, ent, top 2, ppl)
Dharam  4(top, awc 3)
John Ramos  3(gen, top 2)
Christopher Davis  3(med, lng, rud)
Jesse Frankovich  2(ppl, awc)
HSP  2(gen, awc)
FatPhil  1(top)
Snafu  1(top)
dk  1(top)
jr  1(rud)
rp  1(top)

The Anagrammy Awards