Current Nominations for September, 2017 [93]

Anagrammy Awards >Anagrammy Awards Forum > Current Nominations

GENERAL (17) ENTERTAINMENT (10) TOPICAL (18) PEOPLES NAMES (10)
OTHER NAMES (12) MEDIUM LENGTH (4) LONG (5) SPECIAL (4)
UNSPECIFIED (0)ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE (10) RUDE (3) Counts by Author

THE GENERAL CATEGORY [17 nominations]

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Distance as the crow flies =
Line caw faced is shortest

View with:
A burka, halal...=
Allahu Akbar!

Tom Myers with:
Law and order =
Draw 'n' reload.

HSP with:
There is no point to my life =
More nihilist type of tone.

polarbears are cool with:
Try to grow lovely weed ~
or we'll vote Trey Gowdy.

Rosie Perera with:
A Category Five storm =
A most grave ferocity.

Ellie with:
This ain't love =
No, that is evil.

jr with:
Kleptomaniacs ~
nick a stale mop.

Snafu I'll Jot with:
The airport lounge =
A repletion trough.

Dharam with:
Medication side effects =
See MD if face tic is noted.

Scott G with:
Oral herpes medications =
Creams aid sore on the lip.

Scott G with:
A neurodevelopmental disorder =
Or "severe one ailed Donald Trump."

Ellie with:
Hurricane's aftermath =
Thus fear certain harm.

Tony Crafter with:
True orgasms =
A storm surge!

Adie Pena with:
Eggless dairy-free mayonnaise ~
on my leafy greens, I agree, is sad. :-(

jr with:
Volcanic eruptions =
A conic vent roils up.

Tom Myers with:
Slurry pit ‡
I try slurp


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY [10 nominations]

Dharam with:
Close Encounters of the Third Kind's 40th Anniversary =
Re: The odd reruns on TV's Sci-Fi Channel. To think, 40 years!

Adie Pena with:
Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" =
Oh, no! Urgent to avert new consequential perils.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
James Bond and Pussy Galore =
Dual dangers on same spy job

Tony Crafter with:
The Rolling Stones hit 'Ruby Tuesday' =
Bit dry, eh? Not their usual song style.

Ellie with:
American rock band "The Eagles" =
Rather a legend's in a come-back.

Adie Pena with:
The Eagles' "Hotel California" =
Hit's one allegorical feat, eh?

View with:
American rock band "The Eagles" =
I heard clear - men back on stage!

Adie Pena with:
Andy Warhol's "Thirty Two Campbell's Soup Cans" =
One tasty lunch was world-class pop art by him.

Adie Pena with:
Sir Elton John's song "Rocket Man" (from "Honky Château") =
Henceforth, as North Korea's only mascot -- "Kim Jong-un"!

HSP with:
Kingsman: The Golden Circle =
Slick gent - old men in charge.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY [18 nominations]

HSP with:
Guy spends a year in the world of competitive punning =
You get vital mind seasoning peppered with corny fun.

Rosie Perera with:
Trump's obsession with his crowd size =
Subsidize it with morons, cops, shrews.

Adie Pena with:
Harvey's destruction? ~
Her vast countryside!

Dharam with:
The President and first lady visit flood victims =
Find dire tots, lift child's spirit, and save my vote?

Dharam with:
Irma, a hurricane =
I incur area harm.

Rosie Perera with:
Hurricane Irma =
I am air churner.

Scott G with:
Hurricanes Harvey and Irma ~
cause harm in very hard rain.

Scott G with:
Hurricanes Harvey and Irma =
Cause harm in very hard rain.

Scott G with:
The Caribbean Sea =
Rain beset a beach.

Rosie Perera with:
The current American president =
Direct, unrepentant racism here.

View with:
Irma =
I ram.

Rosie Perera with:
Mass exodus from Florida =
"Ms. Irma floored us. Sad." - Fox

Chris with:
Irma strikes Florida =
Risk a dire storm? Fail.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The State of Florida =
Sea rotted half of it

View with:
After Irma ~
fret Maria.

View with:
"Racist and Supremacist" =
Indicates a crass Trump.

jr with:
Trump versus Rocket Man =
USA pervert mocks Mr. Nut.

Ellie with:
Quake-hit Mexico =
Quick! Exit a Home!


THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY [10 nominations]

db with:
Wayne Rooney and Laura Simpson =
Unwise moron and an easy-lay pro.

db with:
Catherine Windsor, the Duchess of Cambridge =
A brief act, eschewing condoms...her third's due!

View with:
The Canadian billionaire Eric Sprott =
Nice albeit a traditional rich person

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Napoleon Bonaparte =
Prone to a nap on Elba

Adie Pena with:
The American Vice President Al Gore =
Pioneer "Climate Change" advertiser?

Snafu I'll Jot with:
Oh, he picks ~
Hope Hicks.

Scott G with:
Soprano Mary Violet Leontyne Price =
Person in romantic opera, lovely yet.

View with:
American Sloane Stephens =
Ah, see a calm tennis person!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sir Francis Drake =
"Fire risks? Canard!"

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Liliane Henriette Charlotte Bettencourt =
Better count the L'Oreal title inheritance!


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY [12 nominations]

Ellie with:
The University of Glasgow, Scotland =
Saw lot of students achieving glory.

Rosie Perera with:
A Fender guitar ~
featured grain.

Adie Pena with:
The hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Jose =
Americans have this harder journey.

Tom Myers with:
Atlantic's Hurricane Irma =
That is mean circular rain!

Tom Myers with:
The U.S. Mail ~
haul items

View with:
The Kilauea Volcano =
On cue I leak hot lava

Scott G with:
A Bugatti Chiron ~
ain't car I bought!

Scott G with:
A Porsche Spyder roadster =
Ah, order speedy sports car!

Snafu I'll Jot with:
iPhone X =
Phoenix?

db with:
Parsons Green station =
Passengers onto train.

jr with:
Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals =
Dare to afford horrid child aliens cover.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Spanish Armada ~
had a mishap astern


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY [4 nominations]

Dharam with:
Irma tears a path of destruction through parts of the Caribbean =
After Barbados, nightmare threat of catastrophic pour in the US.

Adie Pena with:
Five Celebs Who Suffered From Kleptomania
1. Megan Fox
2. Farrah Fawcett
3. Britney Spears
4. Lindsay Lohan
5. Winona Ryder
=
1. "Transformers" lady
2. Charlie's Angel
3. "...Baby One More Time"
4. Extra whiff of cherry now?
5. And wiped off a painful Saks event.

db with:
The reformation of the legendary country-rock band The Eagles =
Don Henley too? Forget that...I'd sure rather a Glenn Frey comeback!

Ellie with:
In America, Elvis drags himself out of a large sparkling new swimming pool for the
TENTH time that day, to slump ... wan, gray.
~
'What's the matter, darl?' asks Mrs P, a smug wife, emerging wiry and slim from yoga
out on the patio.

'I Can't Help Falling In, Love.'







THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY [10 nominations]

HSP with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
=
The poor shouldn't have to die unhappy, enfeebled by grief or memory loss.
Here is bad tory future greed - they'll provide euthanasia free on the NHS rather than cure my dementia or use homes.

Dharam with:

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
=
Hey, Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and the bad storm eyes that rush to land furnish opportunities to help the feeble friend or human refugee, redeem ourselves, and hope they'd obey meteorology!

View with:
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
=
I need Help.
You need Help.
He needs Help.
Everyone needs Help.

Your "harbor" may harm - trauma, humbug, taboo!
GO!!!
This is the truth of life:
Our free charity's a very trite form!
No one stands deserted!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn

Here you have a pair of hands. You use the thumbs there chiefly to spread more and more feeble lies over the internet. You do need the other fingers, mainly to grab her (her pussy)" - Donald Trump

Snafu I'll Jot with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
=
"Hey, I have been a shy, tenderhearted, esteemed plastic surgeon. Hmm, try operating on a badly burned human. Oh, therefore I propose they really deserve not to die or suffer. IOU, uh huh" - Mr Lofts.

Adie Pena with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
=
Your teeners should maybe see Richard Lester's humorous "Help!" -- the Beatles movie after "A Hard Day's Night." The Fab Four, in their foregone heyday, proudly pioneered the MTV phenomenon. True.

Dharam with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
=
Hey, here are four sure helpers of human unity:
Devoted Mahatma Gandhi
Holy Mother Teresa
Virtuous Nelson Mandela
Pretty-eyed Princess Di

Yet, there is further hope here:
Bob Geldof
Bono

Rosie Perera with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." -- Audrey Hepburn
=
"Hey, if something horrible ever happens (a bomb at your school; many dead, hurt, or needy), don't despair. Find the helpers. You've heard they are often there -- in, out, useful. Emulate these." -- Mr. Rogers

jr with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn

=

"O human youth, endeavor to ratify, support, bolster, and shepherd the poor--even troublesome, rude, scruffy, rheumy, heathenish, seemingly irredeemable degenerate alien hoods." --I thy father

Ellie with:
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm.
As you get older, remember you have another hand: the first is to help yourself,
the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
=
On the one hand, remember humility. Oh, feel free ... but ready to please people;
share the hard days or ugly crisis. But there's no need to pursue martyrdom.
On the other hand you have five fingers.


THE LONG CATEGORY [5 nominations]

Tony Crafter with:
Herb was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

Herb got out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and said, "So, if I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"I can't, I had to give up drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend all the cash on green fees at a golf course instead of dinner, then?" Herb asked.

"Are you nuts?" replied the homeless man. "Hell, I haven't played golf in over twenty years!"

"Well," Herb said to the man, "I am not going to give you the cash. Instead, I'm going to take you home with me for a hot shower and a succulent meal cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astonished. "But won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"

Herb replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man ends up like after he's given up drinking and golf."

=

Bill and his wife Iris died and went to Heaven together.

They were met at the gates by an angel who took them on an initial welcome tour. "Okay, folks," said the angel, "over here is our golf course!"

"Oh, my lord! It's immaculate! Can we play a round on it now?" asked Iris with some passion.

"Go for it!" said the angel.

It was the most strikingly beautiful course the couple had ever set foot on. They started to play and it was all perfect... the fairways, the shimmering greens, even the roughs.

The more they played the more Iris beamed with happiness, but she noticed her husband was skulking around looking dismal and moody.

The baffled woman confronted him; "What is wrong?" she said, "I don't understand why you're so sulky. We're both in Heaven and playing on a magnificent golf course! What exactly is your problem?"

Bill replied, "If you hadn't fed us all those bloody bran muffins, we'd have been here years ago!"

Dharam with:
The world's leading expert on European wasps goes into the record store. He asks the assistant, "I'm wondering, do you have the new recording 'European Vespidae Acoustics Volume Two'? I believe it was going to be released this week."

"It certainly has," replies the assistant. "Would you like to listen before you buy it?"

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, "I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Would you please verify that this recording you have is the correct one?"

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed 'European Vespidae Acoustics Volume Two'. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the man listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for forty-three years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."
~
The assistant on duty apologizes again, lifts and sets the needle onto the next consecutive track of the vinyl record.

The insect expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing, is intoxicated with rage, and notes, "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading scientific expert on European wasps, yet no European wasp has ever made a sound like the noise on that record!"

The attentive manager of the shop overhears the scuffle and walks over. "Just what seems to be the problem, sir?"

The intellectual answers, "This is an absolute outrage! It's totally unsatisfactory! You do see, I am the world's leading scientific expert on European wasps! Nobody knows more about the insects that I have studied than I do, and there is NO WAY IN HELL the distorted fuzzy noises on this record were made by European wasps!"

The courteous focused manager looks down, finds the title, diagnoses the trouble instantly, and states, "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been unintentionally playing you the bee side."

Ellie with:
One Autumn, this guy named Jimi goes into a pet shop locally and sees Lucky, a nice healthy little parrot with a tuft. But it has a blue string hanging from one foot, a red from the other. He asks the helpful shopkeeper "What exactly will the colours signify?"

"Why, this parrot is fully trained. ~ If you pull the red string he talks in French, if you pull the other, blue string, he talks in English."

"Oh wow!" exclaims the man. "That's real neat! So what happens if you accidentally pull both the two strings at the same time?"

"Are you joking?" says the parrot, outraged. "I fall off my perch, you idiot!"

Dharam with:
Janice, a well-dressed female airline passenger, sashayed up to the taxi stand at Logan Airport in Boston, Massachusetts (where the cabbies are very likely to be unemployed graduates of Harvard University) and asked the young cabby
~
"Will you take me to where I can get scrod?" The uneasy taxi driver assessed the girl's sly demand (Alas, she has gone bananas!) and at last agreed, "Yea, okay. Pardon my hesitation, but I probably never heard it as pluperfect subjunctive before!"

Adie Pena with:
The three doctors are talking about their interment plans. Each one voices and shares his opinion.

The first, a dental surgeon, says, "When I die, I’d suggest that my tombstone is to be shaped like a tooth made of fancy white marble." ~

The known European cardiologist mutters, "Henceforward, I'd love mine to be shaped as a heart."

"At my deathbed..." The gynecologist remains silent for a bit, then says aloud in shame, "I think scattering of the ashes is the best option."


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY [4 nominations]

Ellie with:
MEET JACK SCHITT

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt, and he has a most interesting family tree, as follows:

In the year of our Lord, Nineteen Fifty Seven, young Awe Schitt, the infamous fertilizer magnate, married
O.Schitt, owner of Needeep N. Schitt Incorporated.
They had one son, baptized Jack.

Jack Schitt grew up and married Noe, and together Jack and Noe Schitt produced seven children:

Holie Schitt (who came to be known as 'The Lucky Schitt')
Fulla Schitt
Shineola (who did not really have the Schitt Face)
Giva Schitt
Bull Schitt (who really did look like Schitt, the father),
and the twins: Dip Schitt and Deap Schitt.

Dip Schitt was not very bright, and was known as 'The stupid Schitt', and she married Dumb Schitt,
a brash school drop-out who happened to share the same last name (but no relation, however).
Friends affectionately nicknamed them 'The Schitts'. Their marriage produced no little Schitts.

The other twin, Deap Schitt, went on to build an impressive deodorant empire, which became famous
for its big brand slogan: 'Smell Like Schitt'. Interestingly, however, that slogan only worked just in
the United States, and another striking slogan did become more popular in the U.K: 'Put a dab of Schitt
on your pits.' Then when the company launched its popular product into Australia, another, third slogan
was used very successfully: 'Smell Like Schitt Down Under'.

~

But soon, trouble developed, and Noe Schitt divorced Jack and promptly married a spiritual man named Ted
Sherlock. But being a modern westernized woman, she decided to hyphenate her name. She then became
known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Jack was depressed at having lost his Noe, but in his fifties, he got hitched to a nice little lady named Loda.
The blushing well-matched bride, Loda Schitt, produced an undersized son of a nervous disposition, whom
they named Chicken Schitt.

Jack and Loda went on to produce two more boys, Krappy Schitt and Ugglee Schitt. These healthiest of
athletic brothers, Krappy and Ugglee, married the tall, stunning Happens Sisters in an often emotional,
dual ceremony.

That 'Schitt-Happens' wedding was a huge affair, and their timely union also produced more Schittistics:

Dawg Schitt
Byrd Schitt
Hoarse Schitt
and Pigh Schitt.

But once more, alas, Jack lost the love for his wife, and left to tour the world. He recently returned from an
architectural, romantic visit to Italy with his newest, latest bride, Pisa.

At present, the unfaithful, lustful Jack Schitt and his third wife, sluttish flirt, Pisa Schitt, are it is thought,
themselves living without children in New York; on the finest property they have, which contains a stream of
water that is known to the locals as 'Schitt Creek.'

From now on, no-one can say that you don't know Jack Schitt!

Tony Crafter with:
RUNNING BEAR
By
Johnny Preston

On the banks of the river stood Runnin' Bear, young Indian brave
On the other side of the river stood his lovely Indian maid
Little White Dove was-a her name, such a lovely sight to see
But their tribes fought with each other so their love could never be

Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove with a love big as the sky
Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove with a love that couldn't die

He couldn't swim the raging river 'cause the river was too wide
He couldn't reach little white dove, waiting on the other side
In the moonlight he could see her blowing kisses 'cross the waves
Her little heart was beating faster, waiting there for her brave

Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove with a love big as the sky
Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove with a love that couldn't die

Runnin' Bear dove in the water, Little White Dove did the same
And they swam out to each other through the swirling stream they came
As their hands touched and their lips met, the ragin' river pulled them down
Now they'll always be together in that happy hunting ground

Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove with a love big as the sky
Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove with a love that couldn't die
=

RUNNING BARE
(Cheekily devoted to the unclothed Clive)

I was sleeping with Hettie Villier, but her husband didn't know,
One day we both were in her boudoir, naked in love's afterglow,
Then we heard a car below us, draw into their gravel drive,
Hettie yelled, "It's husband Billy, dive out the window, get lost Clive!"

Runnin' bare down Hever High Street, oh how will I survive the shame?
Runnin' bare with not a stitch on, Hettie Villier, do I hate that dame!

Everybody was lookin' at me, and I heard a lone voice shout,
"Ooh, it's Clive, vain little devil! What an odd place to hang out!"
Another hooted, "Little devil? Well, the 'little' bit is right!"
Then the vicar's wife came by me, she looked and cried out : "Holy shite!"

Runnin' bare down Hever High Street, private bits all out there on show,
Runnin' bare, this living nightmare, will it never, ever go?

I went by this little garden, saw their washin' on the line,
My objective was survival, those clothes will have to do me fine.
Vaulted lithely over their gate then grabbed whatever came to hand,
Shoved them on, thought of the owners, thought that they would understand.

Runnin' there down Hever High Street, but I never got too far,
Pretty soon I got arrested in a tutu and strapless bra!


db with:
Ed Sheeran – Galway Girl

She played the fiddle in an Irish band,
But she fell in love with an English man.
Kissed her on the neck, and then I took her by the hand,
Said, "Baby, I just want to dance."

I met her on Grafton Street right outside of the bar.
She shared a cigarette with me, while her brother played the guitar.
She asked me, "What does it mean the Gaelic ink on your arm?"
Said, "It was one of my friend's songs. Do you want to drink on?"

She took Jamie as a chaser, Jack for the fun.
She got Arthur on the table, with Johnny riding as shotgun.
Chatted some more, one more drink at the bar,
Then put Van on the jukebox, got up to dance, you know.

She played the fiddle in an Irish band
But she fell in love with an English man.
Kissed her on the neck and then I took her by the hand,
Said, "Baby, I just want to dance,
With my pretty little Galway Girl."
You're my pretty little Galway Girl.

You know she beat me at darts, and then she beat me at pool,
And then she kissed me like there was nobody else in the room.
As last orders were called, was when she stood on the stool,
After dancing to cèilidh, singing to trad tunes.
I never heard Carrickfergus ever sung so sweet,
Acapella in the bar using her feet for a beat.
Oh, I could have that voice playing on repeat for a week,
And in this packed out room, swear she was singing to me.

You know, she played the fiddle in an Irish band
But she fell in love with an English man.
Kissed her on the neck, and then I took her by the hand
Said, "Baby, I just want to dance."
My pretty little Galway girl.
My my my my my my my Galway girl
My my my my my my my Galway girl
My my my my my my my Galway girl

Now we've outstayed our welcome, and it's closing time.
I was holding her hand, her hand was holding mine.
Our coats both smell of smoke, whisky and wine,
As we fill up our lungs with the cold air of the night.

I walked her home then she took me inside,
Finished some Doritos, and another bottle of wine.
I swear I'm going to put you in a song that I write
About a Galway girl, and a perfect night.

She played the fiddle in an Irish band
But she fell in love with an English man.
Kissed her on the neck, and then I took her by the hand
Said, "Baby, I just want to dance."
My pretty little Galway girl.
My my my my my my my Galway girl
My my my my my my my Galway girl
My my my my my my my Galway girl
Hey!

=

Medway Girl

She came from Twydall, but she lives in Strood,
And her mobile to her hand was glued,
A pouty Facebook pic, fake lashes, and with a flower in her hair,
I said, "Hi honey, can I take you for a drink?"

I joined her first in the Waghorn, then hit the Alex instead,
(You know, the one by a statue with a roadcone on its head).
In Wickes' carpark she got passionate, we kissed on the lips,
And then I know she defo came...she dropped her bag of chips.

We strolled hand-in-hand along New Road, I guessed that trouble's no doubt brewing,
A great-granny by thirty-nine...now THAT takes some doing!
We went down into The Delce, to see if she could grab,
Some snout in the Co-Op, and an Indian or a kebab.

She's a Twydall native, but moved into Strood,
There ain't much of her body that ain't tattooed,
She's a cross between Kim Kardashian and Waynetta Slob,
I said "The only one I truly want,
Is my skinny little Medway girl,
Oh, my pretty little Medway girl,
You're my pretty little Medway girl.

We had a fight in the Charlotte,
Hell, I've still got the scar!
I got two black eyes, a headache, and her vomit in the car.
When the filth showed up, it didn't take her long at all to clock it,
So she stashed my sniff away, up in her "Chatham pocket".

No knickers came in handy here, oh there ain't no denying,
Although it made things easier, it naturally didn't stop me trying!
We got banished from The Eagle...maybe her language "unbecoming",
She was getting so keen,
Wouldn't keep her hands off my plumbing.

She came from Twydall, but she's now in Strood,
She had a "Like, wha'evah!" attitude,
Funny eyebrows like skidmarks,
She's all I ever need, she's my skinny Medway girl,
My my my my my my my only Medway girl.

We had a brilliant night, I said "Hun, like to do it again?"
She went "Hang abaht until the babysitter's gone, by half ten.
My Jayden-Jay's in jail again, Jordan Junior's out thieving,
Rihanna-Angel's at her dad's all night,
Though my Nevaeh-Grace is teething".

She had her third Jägerbomb...then we finally went on to hers,
Shagging doggy-style, all night, to the hits of Olly Murs.
Like Ulrika, she's a "Four-by-Four", but now I'm the new legal owner,
See me on the Jeremy Kyle Show soon...as her Number Five sperm donor!

My pretty little Medway girl,
My my my my my my my Medway girl,
My my my my my my my Medway girl,
My my my my my my my Medway girl.

Adie Pena with:
A POEM BY KIM JONG-CHUL

If I had my ideal world I would not allow weapons and atom bombs any more.
I would destroy all terrorists with the Hollywood star Jean-Claude van Damme.
I would make people stop taking drugs.
I would even destroy the word “DRUG” to make people forget about it.
I would make everybody get good jobs.
Everybody would be happy: no more war, no more dying, no more crying.
Then I would make a rule (Do not believe in God.) God doesn’t help and there is no God.
I would make people believe in themselves, and they would work hard for their happiness and success waiting in their future.
I would make the whole world use only one language, which would be Korean, and I would make all people have the same amount of money: no rich people, no poor people.
Only in my ideal world can the people have freedom and live very happily.

=

WOULD MY POEM ON KIM JONG-UN MOVE YOU TO EUPHORIA?

We've woven facts, now ideologies, too.
About a pinguid guy so really true.
Overdeveloped worm, worldwide fool
Secretly would attend a Swiss school.

The Moranbong Band the best K-POP?
Horrible weepy poop, a mammoth flop!
Wildly hung-up on Michael Jordan anew;
Dennis Rodman, the plump hippo would woo.

Overweight leader by default oddly;
Somehow China did believe he's very cuddly.
In a whole 'hood, glaringly appalling,
A jeered General without military training!

He would undergo bloody surgery to look
Like Eternal Leader grampa, a kook.
Even upheld DPRK anytime as a 'paradise'?!
Nationwide employed many 'bomb' lies!

The meek people kowtowed ... so he downed,
Yellowly knocked them off via mortar round.
Relieved, obliterated a mutinous uncle he had
He's not insane, he's power mad!


THE RUDE CATEGORY [3 nominations]

Adie Pena with:
A large penis inside a small cunt =
Male recalling sustained pains.

jr with:
Hemorrhoidal tissue ~
hid outer asshole rim.

Tom Myers with:
She fornicates =
Fancies others.


Count of Nominations by Author

= Nom in all categories (not counting Rude & Unspecified)

Adie Pena  13(gen, ent 4, top, ppl, oth, med, lng, spc, awc, rud)
View  9(gen, ent, top 3, ppl 2, oth, awc)
Ellie  9(gen 2, ent, top, oth, med, lng, spc, awc)
Dharam  9(gen, ent, top 2, med, lng 2, awc 2)
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons  8(gen, ent, top, ppl 3, oth, awc)
Scott G  8(gen 2, top 3, ppl, oth 2)
Rosie Perera  7(gen, top 4, oth, awc)
jr  6(gen 2, top, oth, awc, rud)
db  5(ppl 2, oth, med, spc)
Tom Myers  5(gen 2, oth 2, rud)
Snafu Ill Jot  4(gen, ppl, oth, awc)
Tony Crafter  4(gen, ent, lng, spc)
HSP  4(gen, ent, top, awc)
polarbears are cool  1(gen)
Chris  1(top)

The Anagrammy Awards