Nominations for September, 2024

Current Nominations for September, 2024 [183]

Anagrammy Awards >Anagrammy Awards Forum > Current Nominations

GENERAL (31)	ENTERTAINMENT (14)	TOPICAL (46)	PEOPLES NAMES (14)
OTHER NAMES (21)	MEDIUM LENGTH (14)	LONG (16)	SPECIAL (9)
UNSPECIFIED (0)	ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE (14)	RUDE (4)	Counts by Author

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY [14 nominations]

Josiah Winslow with:
Rap artist Kendrick Lamar ~
trips alarm in Drake track.

View with:
Israeli Eurovision Contestant Eden Golan =
Our noted essential singer - national voice

David Bourke with:
Eden Golan =
A legend? No.

FatPhil with:
The Eurovision Song Contest =
Strong in-tune voices soothe

FatPhil with:
The Star Spangled Banner =
Ah, England's best partner

FatPhil with:
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City =
Fed. note car thug activity

Rick Rothstein with:
The first ever International Day of Anagrams =
To shift, vary and arrange letters, a fine aim, no?

David Bourke with:
The former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland =
Likely mindlessly tendering the R-card for show.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Super Mario Bros. Movie =
Some report misbehaviour.

David Bourke with:
Late singer and actress Fran oise Hardy =
A star arisen. Certainly a French goddess.

Adie Pena with:
The Olympics in Paris, France =
A typical French impression.

Adie Pena with:
Ooh, read all the embarrassing legal shit on ~
the "Oasis" brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Irish rock and blues star Rory Gallagher =
Hardly shocking, brother sells a rare guitar.

David Bourke with:
She's So Unusual =
Nauseous slush

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY [46 nominations]

Rick Rothstein with:
Anti-Israeli Protests =
Palestine stirs a riot.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The floods and landslides in Kenya =
Look all day, find sadness in the end.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Aurora Borealis, or Northern Lights, ~
are rare rolling into south harbors.

Tony Crafter with:
Olly Alexander's Eurovision entry =
Really sexy routine? No, so darn vile.

Rosie Perera with:
Cohen testifies in Trump's hush money trial =
Him? Inane life; sent Stormy riches to shut up.

Rosie Perera with:
The Attempt on Slovakia's Prime Minister's Life =
A pest, Mr. Intemperate, aims to kill in five shots.

Rosie Perera with:
American Airlines flight attendant salaries =
Earn a trifle; instead a rich man gets it all. A sin!

Brian Taylor with:
The President of Iran, Ebrahim Raisolsadati ~
dies in the heat of abnormal air disaster. R.I.P.

View with:
Classified docs in Trump bedroom =
Secrets? Doom, disdain from public!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Robert DeNiro said: "If he gets in...he will never leave!" =
This view: Either live free, or enable Donald's reign.

Rosie Perera with:
Free Palestine =
Fate: Peril seen.

Rosie Perera with:
Rupert Murdoch marries Elena Zhukova =
Um, her paramour: craziest old hunk ever!

Tom Myers with:
RE: The many legal troubles now hitting Trump =
Tell Putin: How to grant asylum, bring me there!

David Bourke with:
Diversity statements
Stymied transvestite!

Dharam Khalsa with:
SpaceX's next Starship rocket test gets FAA go-ahead =
Texas gang expects it to head as a speck for the stars.

Rosie Perera with:
Four Israeli hostages recovered =
Rescued alive! Arise! Go for others!

Tom Myers with:
It's Pollinator Week
So we trap one, kill it!

Rosie Perera with:
Mystery monolith appears near Las Vegas =
Smart aliens play games, spy over on Earth.

David Bourke with:
The singer and actor Justin Randall Timberlake =
Tanked at bar, morning DUI arrest, then jail cells.

Tony Crafter with:
If Britain's Labour Party wins the General Election? =
First, all pray, since we, the nation, are in big trouble.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Julian Assange is welcomed back home in Australia =
Whoa, me again! A deal in US, some risk, but cancels jail.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Top Democrats rule out replacing Biden after debate =
I can appear befuddled, but I'm stronger to electorate.

FatPhil with:
SCOTUS put US democracy in great peril =
Use logic: President Trump's autocracy

Dharam Khalsa with:
Storm Beryl is producing powerful winds in Texas ~
as crews duly sprint to fix our widening problems.

Rosie Perera with:
Older man's a risk. Fairer path: ~
Kamala Harris for President.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Weather forecast: "Very hot" =
A cry of "the worst heat ever!"

Adie Pena with:
A fireworks display at night on the fourth of July =
Folks wait for hours and they enjoy it light far up!

Adie Pena with:
Joe Biden or Donald Trump for President =
Old, prudent or inept man for desired job?

View with:
Joseph Robinette Biden or Donald Trump? =
Er... bad problem. Just need third option, no?

Rosie Perera with:
Thomas Matthew Crooks =
Some whacko shot at Mr. T.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Heritage Foundation's Project 2025 =
I had to reject 20-25 pages of it, on the run.

Brian Taylor with:
Biden drops out of the election ~
but decision left the door open.

Adie Pena with:
(D) Biden's ~
bid ends.

Dharam Khalsa with:
North Korean trash balloons disrupt flights =
Foul orbs on high, and the risk, stall transport.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Obamas endorse Kamala Harris for President =
Noted ambassador pair marks her safe in the role.

Rosie Perera with:
"We are not going back!" -- Kamala Harris =
Barack O. grins: "Ah, like a great woman!"

Rosie Perera with:
White Dudes for Harris =
Dad is with her for sure.

Adie Pena with:
A registered Republican ~
script: Rue a bleeding ear!

Rosie Perera with:
Friday's global tech outage =
O, crudely sabotage a flight!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Posts from a local video camera as Mount Etna revives =
Lava and steam rise from Europe's most active volcano.

David Bourke with:
Kamala Harris's opponent's "public meltdown"=
Polls: "Black/Asian woman president!"
Trump: "Oh!"

View with:
The Doha talks =
Oh, task halted!

Rosie Perera with:
Razor thin US presidential poll margins =
Harris tops, derailing Trump in all zones.

Rosie Perera with:
Razor thin US presidential poll margins =
Harris all organized, inept Trump's losin'.

Rosie Perera with:
Boar s Head meats recalled =
Deaths soar; declare blame.

Rick Rothstein with:
The Boar s Head recall =
Broad lethal scare, eh?

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY [14 nominations]

View with:
Switzerland's Nemo breaks Eurovision Song Contest trophy =
Viewer: "So, poorest non-binary klutz smashed strongest icon!"

Josiah Winslow with:
"NSYNC" is just first names!
...joke? A bizarre joke? Alphabetical trick? Check!
~
JustiN Timberlake
ChriS Kirkpatrick
JoeY Fatone
LaNce... Bass?
JC Chasez

David Bourke with:
Meghan and Prince Harry's pseudo-royal tour of Nigeria =
It's a proud African lady & her shy European ginger moron.

David Bourke with:
The Iranian President Ebrahim Raisolsadati, the butcher of Tehran =
This barbarian under earth. Met his death in a helicopter in a forest.

Rosie Perera with:
Defense Rests in Trump Trial; Jury Deliberations Are Expected Next Week =
Kindly referee: "We'd better expose ex-President as just a criminal nutter!"

View with:
Norway, Ireland and Spain say that they will recognize the Palestinian state, angering Israel. What does this mean?=
Three that are in the West will try a plan, a new anti-Zionism angle...ignore any hostages, and any dispatched Israelis!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The bad news: Oh, everything is hard now, with multiple wars, violent torment, loss of life, global famine, and theft.
=
Poets: But, what if everything is bad and we still fall in love with the moon and learn something from the flowers?

David Bourke with:
Donald Trump, the former US President, is guilty on all counts. =
Democrats pull a dirty stunt...prison for the luminous legend!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Do you need options to make names shorter?
Elizabeth
Jonathan
Theodore
Leonardo
Norman
Christopher
Hannah
=
Monotony, huh? Hah! Lose one or more letters, and keep the rest joined in a chain:
Zabe
Onath
Odor
Nard
Orma
Stop
Nah

View with:
Noa Argamani, Almog Meir Jan, Andrey Kozlov and Shlomi Ziv =
Hark, Zion is glad! Any live man a good man. Major Zion marvel!

Rosie Perera with:
New Louisiana law requires all public classrooms to display the Ten Commandments =
Well, airy Republicans call up Moses' moral wisdom and some quite ancient "shalt nots".

Rosie Perera with:
Biden tells Democratic governors he needs more sleep and will stop scheduling events at night =
It's called "sundowning" -- the dementia problem. Even long-cherished clever oldsters get it. No pass.

Rosie Perera with:
White House denies President is being treated for Parkinson's =
It's fine! He's a stutterer. A kind person's being dishonored! I weep.

Adie Pena with:
The Top Five Bond Movies Ranked By Chicago Film Scene
5. GoldenEye
4. From Russia with Love
3. Skyfall
2. Goldfinger
1. Casino Royal
=
5. Why families have liked fifth guy Pierce Brosnan
4 & 2. Old folks (myself!) love Scot Sean Connery
3 & 1. Go, Brit Daniel Craig! Good move!

THE LONG CATEGORY [16 nominations]

Rosie Perera with:
The Ten Best Chrome Extensions for 2024:
1. Bitwarden
2. Ghostery
3. Grammarly
4. Dark Reader
5. Pocket
6. Loom
7. Momentum
8. OneTab
9. StayFocusd
10. Honey
=
1. Passcode
2. Nix ads
3. Too, to, two?
4. Ebony mode
5. Read later, Ken
6. Screen grab
7. Remember tasks
8. Fifty? Too many!
9. Hurry, center thought
10. Hmm, lemon?

Tony Crafter with:
FAVOURITE ABBA SONGS
(According to a poll of BBC Radio 2 listeners)
1. Dancing Queen
2. The Winner Takes It All
3. Thank You For The Music
4. Slipping Through My Fingers
5. The Day Before You Came
6. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)
7. Waterloo
8. Knowing Me, Knowing You
9. Super Trouper
10. Eagle
11. Mamma Mia
12. Fernando
13. Chiquitita
14. Voulez-Vous
15. SOS
16. The Name Of the Game
17. Take A Chance On Me
18. Does Your Mother Know
19. Lay All Your Love On Me
20. I Have A Dream
21. One Of Us
22. Angeleyes
23. Andante, Andante
24. Summer Night City
25. Money, Money, Money
26. My Love, My Life
27. Our Last Summer
28. Honey, Honey
29. The Visitors
30. Don't Shut Me Down
=
1. The nation's favourite teen
2. Emotive divorce theme
3. Abba fans' anthem.
4. Poignant mum/daughter song
5. Naff lyrics.
6. Female needs a macho hunk!
7. Won Eurovision
8. Last farewell
9. The show must go on!
10. Song takes me on a flight
11. My my, how can I resist it
12. 2 old revolutionaries reminisce
13. Ode to a broken friend
14. 'You want'?
15. Called: "Help!"
16. Does it mean anything to you?
17. Gamble on me.
18. You're so young
19. Gimme amour
20. My target? Feel enchantment
21. I miss you.
22. Hypnotic peepers
23. Go slow.
24. Lovemaking in the dark
25. Gimme mazuma (or a huge cheque!)
26. My one and only
27. Holiday romance
28. Yummy!
29. Quite a dark number
30. From 'Voyager'

Dharam Khalsa with:
Abridged classics:
1. War and Peace
2. The Grapes of Wrath
3. Don Quixote
4. The Sun Also Rises
5. Moby Dick
6. Ulysses
7. The Odyssey
8. Wuthering Heights
9. Walden
10. Crime and Punishment
11. Beowulf
12. Dante's Inferno
=
1. Sad. It is snowy.
2. Farm to road trip.
3. Guy fights windmills.
4. Drunks weep.
5. Whale wins.
6. Run-on headache.
7. He brought death.
8. Edgy years.
9. Peace exists.
10 Confession.
11. Man conquers beast, but died.
12. Hell scenes.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Seven Corporal Works of Mercy:
* Feed the hungry
* Give drink to the thirsty
* Shelter the homeless
* Visit the sick
* Visit the prisoners
* Bury the dead
* Give alms to the poor
=
My reply:
* Refresh food drives
* Conserve pure water
* Clothe the shy; stress the vote
* Give time or blood
* Help ghetto kids at risk
* Minister to the kin
* Give charity
Then shush!

David Bourke with:
The new State of Louisiana legislature that requires for all of its public schools to display the Ten Commandments in the classroom

=

Thou Shalt Not:
- Lie
- Steal
- Study science
- Mine for oil
- Shoot the staff
- Worship Islam
- Go queer
- Let in Latinos
- Be Democrat
- Call Trump an ass

Tony Crafter with:
A man and woman who'd never met before, and who were married to other partners, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a trans-continental train.

Although distinctly uneasy over having to share, they were both very tired, and had quickly dropped off to sleep...

He was in the upper bunk; she was in the lower bunk.

Shortly after midnight, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman, whispering, "I am sorry to bother you, but would you mind reaching into the bedside closet to get me a second blanket? I'm really cold."

"I've got a much better idea," she purred. "Just for this one night, let us pretend we're married to each other."

"Yes, yes! That's a great idea!" he replied delightedly.

"Right," she said. "In that case, find your own f**king blanket."

After a brief silence, he farted.

THE END
=

Rupert and Mabel met at the Senior Singles' Club where they soon discovered they quite enjoyed each other's company!

One day, after meeting up for the usual weekly tea dance, Rupert asked Mabel out to dinner. Much to his delight, she accepted immediately.

They dined at 'Pandora', the most romantic restaurant in town, where the pair had a lovely evening.

Afterwards, they went back to Rupert's for an informal after-dinner brandy. Things 'progressed' and, age being no barrier, they ended up in bed together.

Later, they basked in the mellow glow of the passionate moments they'd shared, each now lost in their own thoughts...

Rupert's thoughts were: 'Oh darn, if I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have been more gentle.'

Mabel's were: 'Oh darn, if I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off!'

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Top 12 Anagrammy rankings:
1. Meyran Kraus
2. Tony Crafter
3. David Bourke
4. Adie Pena
5. Ellie Dent
6. Dharam Khalsa
7. Rosie Perera
8. Christopher Sturdy
9. Mike Mesterton-Gibbons
10. Jesse Frankovich
11. Rick Rothstein
12. Tom Myers
=
1. Thanks (inactive by '21)
2. Fresh joke-maker
3. Moderator
4. Cheery contributor
5. Missing lass
6. Me (kooky grandma)
7. Troubleshooter
8. Manages stress (martyr, eh?)
9. Vanished, kidnapped?
10. Rare participant
11. Mainly Rude
12. Freethinker

Dharam Khalsa with:
Sixth grade science teacher, Mrs. Peppertree, asked her class, "Who can tell me which organ of the human body will expand to ten times its normal size when stimulated?"

Nobody raised a hand, so she called on a student at the front. "Henrietta, can you tell me which organ of the human body will expand to ten times its normal size when stimulated?"

The unhappy tattle-tale Henrietta stood up. "How dare you ask such a question!" She added, "I am going to tell my parents, who will inform the principal. The school district's vote will fire you!"

Mrs. Peppertree was shocked by Henrietta's blunt remarks, but persevered. She asked the giggling kids the question once again, and Theodore raised his thin hand. Mrs. Peppertree called on the boy.

Stuttering, Theodore replied, "M-m-ma'am, forgive me, the correct answer is an iris of the human eye."

"That's right! Thanks."

Then, confronting Henrietta, Mrs. Peppertree vented with a critical frown (not her norm), "I have three thoughts to convey: First, it's clear that you didn't do the homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. Third, I fear that one day you will be sadly disappointed."

=
A private school was recently faced with a very strange problem. A group of a dozen sixth-grade girls were starting to use makeup and would apply their lipstick in the bathroom. After they put on the lipstick, they would smack their lips on the mirror, in unison, leaving dozens of messy lip prints. Every night after the day's classes dismissed, the custodian would remove the lip marks, and early the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally, one day, the school principal decided that something had to be done. So, she summoned the girls to the bathroom to meet with the maintenance man. She explained that the messy lip prints were causing a problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate to the students how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled window squeegee, dipped it in a dirty toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. And, since then, there haven't been any lip prints on the mirror.

Yay! There are teachers...and then there are educators.

Dharam Khalsa with:
From MAD Magazine 1969
Written by: Frank Jacobs and Stan Hart

See the Super Patriot.
Hear him preach how he loves his country.
Hear him preach how he hates "Liberals"...
And "Moderates"...and "Intellectuals"...
And "Activists"...and "Pacifists"...
And "Minority Groups"...and "Aliens"...
And "Unions"...and "Teenagers"...
And the "Very Rich"...and the "Very Poor"...
And "People With Foreign-Sounding Names".
Now you know what a Super Patriot is.
He's someone who loves his country
While hating 93% of the people who live in it.

=
The Short Lowdown
(by Anonymous)

See the MAGA worshippers.
Hear angry fools cheer on their champion.
Hear how much they want him to be President,
While hating "Economic Opportunities"...
and the "Environment".

He is "Spineless"...and "Cowardly"...
"Shallow"..."Oafish"...and "Lazy"...
"Pretentious"...and "Talkative"...
"Impulsive"...and "Vulgar"...
"Felonious"...and "Defensive"...
"Threatening" and "Hardhearted".
He "Misconstrues Truth".
In fact, he's a "Jerk".

It's as bad now as it was in 1969 --
93% prevarication, hype, or propaganda.

Colleen Parkin with:
In magic, the name of the thing, is the thing. The name contains, in itself, the essence of the being, the quality which makes it what it is, and not something else. The magical use of names is rooted in many civilized people's minds today, as it was in ancient and primitive societies. - Man, Myth, and Magic.
~
The anagram incantation is a significant mimic to the essence of the self... Insight into Qi can ultimately heighten magnetism between insipid kin!
Thought floods the mind... Yet, love envelopes the compassionate heart.
The mind's eye sees a maze dancing within. This is dynamic data, mimic a wish.

Lardy Girl with:
"Autopilot is a hands-on driver assistance system that is intended to be used only with a fully attentive driver. It does not turn a Tesla into a self-driving vehicle nor does it make a vehicle autonomous."

=

Had a drink? Seven rounds?
Need to tune right out?
Can't stand to miss social-media activity? headlines? HBO?
Found several sensational filters to try out on your phone?
Sit! Save time & live a little! We advise it.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Language of Science:

1. "It has long been known"...
2. "A definite trend is evident"...
3. "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"...
4. "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"...
5. "Typical results are shown"...
6. "These results will be in a subsequent report"....
7. "In my experience"...
8. "In case after case"...
9. "In a series of cases"...
10. "It is believed that"...
11. "It is generally believed that"...
12. "Correct within an order of magnitude"...
13. "According to statistical analysis"...
14. "A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings"...
15. "A careful analysis of obtainable data"...
16. "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"...
17. "After additional study by my colleagues"...
18. "Thanks are due to Ms. Mimi Katz for assistance with the experiment and to Mr. Mark Adams for valuable discussions"...
19. "A highly significant area for exploratory study"...
20. "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field"...
=
Translation:

1. I didn't identify or search for the original reference in a library.
2. This trend is practically meaningless.
3. An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
4. Other results didn't make sense.
5. I made this fantastic, exciting graph.
6. I might get around to submitting this sometime, if assigned, or if I acquire proper funding.
7. Once.
8. Twice.
9. Thrice.
10. I definitely want to believe it.
11. I hope several other individuals in the office can believe it, too.
12. It was a failure, totally false.
13. This is all worthless conjecture.
14. A reasonably satisfying, but wild, guess.
15. Three pages of notes were obliterated yesterday, when I was so heavily caffeinated that I carelessly knocked over a cup of hot coffee.
16. I don't understand this now.
17. This seems senseless. My associates didn't understand it either.
18. A collaboration: Ms. Katz did all the work, and then her associate Mr. Adams offered an explanation of what the calculations meant.
19. An unreasonable topic, as requested by my boss.
20. I quit.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Come to the woods, for here is rest. There is no repose like that of the green deep woods. Sleep in forgetfulness of all ill."--John Muir
=
He'd sojourn in the forest, solo, follow paths to a site where deer sleep, glimpse fireflies there, lie on the ground, seek no comfort.

Colleen Parkin with:
I was the world in which I walked, and what I saw or heard or felt came not but from myself. And there I found myself more truly and more strange. - Wallace Stevens=
Want an adage? Do cleverly edify the mind: Worldwide transformation came not from wickedness, or fearfulness, but a warm soul. We will heal the heart's rhythm.

Adie Pena with:
VH1's Top Twenty Greatest One Hit Wonders
1. Los Del Rio: Macarena
2. Soft Cell: Tainted Love
3. Dexys Midnight Runners: Come on Eileen
4. Right Said Fred: I'm Too Sexy
5. Toni Basil : Mickey
6. Baha Men: Who Let the Dogs Out
7. Vanilla Ice: Ice Ice Baby
8. a-ha: Take on Me
9. Gerardo: Rico Suave
10. Nena: 99 Luftballoons
11. Debby Boone: You Light Up My Life
12. Sir Mix-A-Lot: Baby Got Back
13. Van McCoy: The Hustle
14. Deee-Lite: Groove Is in the Heart
15. ? & The Mysterians: 96 Tears
16. Sugarhill Gang: Rapper's Delight
17. Twisted Sister: We're Not Gonna Take It
18. Sinead O'Connor: Nothing Compares 2 U
19. Iron Butterfly: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
20. Thomas Dolby: She Blinded Me With Science=
1. Extensive '96 dance fad
2. Used in a Levi's ad
3. "Too-ra-loo-ra, aye!"
4. Hilarious! Belittles bodybuilders & voguers in '91
5. With hot, athletic cheerleaders
6. Exalts man-bashing
7. C'mon, do chill out!
8. Those worthy boys from Norway
9. Big Latin flavor -- taste it in you!
10. German anti-war sentiment
11. Memorable Kasey Cisyk cover
12. '92 hit glamorising women with big butts
13. Dance to it and listen to the piccolo, too!
14. Psychedelic funk
15. Phenomenal garage band pioneers
16. Great time at the disco
17. Heavy metal by Dee Snider
18. That excellent song by Prince
19. "In the Garden of Eden," slurred by the inebriated Doug Ingle?
20. "Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto!"

Dharam Khalsa with:
(the author's unknown)

Laziness kills ambition
Anger kills wisdom
Fear kills dreams
Ego kills growth
Jealousy kills peace
Doubt kills confidence

Now read that right to left~
Disengagement kills reliability
Clutter kills organization
Complaint kills thankfulness
Sorrow kills breakthroughs
Shutdown kills awe

Now add Joe (coffee), do the same

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY [9 nominations]

Tony Crafter with:
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND
By
Carole King

When you're down and troubled
And you need some lovin' care
And nothin', nothin' is goin' right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin'
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door

You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin', runnin', yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes, I will

Now, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold?
They'll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin', runnin', yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes, I will
You've got a friend
You've got a friend

Ain't it good to know you've got a friend
Ain't it good to know, ain't it good to know
Ain't it good to know
You've got a friend
Oh, yeah, now, you've got a friend
Yeah baby, you've got a friend
Oh, yeah, you've got a friend
=

YOU'VE FOUND A LOVELY FRIEND
An Ode
(Told by Lenny)

When you're in the hallway
And you see that I'm not there
And you feel that things aren't really right
Close your eyes and think of me
Knowing I'm out here somewhere
Open the door and look into the night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll ignore you
And not give a damn
Winter, spring, summer or fall
I won't respond to your call
I'll ignore you, yeah
You've got a cat

Should the sky above you
Fall dark and I ain't home
I am out here stalkin' sneaky mice
No use you yellin'
Us bad dudes all need to roam
When I need food, I'll sneak back through the door.

Don't you yell out my name
'Cause you know wherever I am
Oh, I'll ignore you
And not give a damn
Winter, spring, summer or fall
I won't respond to your call
I'll ignore you, yeah I will
You've got a cat

Ah, it's good to venture out with feline friends
In search of baby birds to kill
Pooin' on our neighbours' gardens
And never, never on our own
But even if I'm busy...

You just yell out "Lenny!"
And you know wherever I am
I'll ignore you
And not give a damn
Winter, spring, summer or fall
I won't react to your call
I'll ignore you, yeah I will
Oh, you need a friend
But instead of that
Buddy, you have a cat

Ain't it good to know, you've got a cat
Ain't it good to know, good to know
Oh yeah, to know,
You've got a cat
Yeah, one fully-fed cat
One darling bundle of joy
Buddy, you've got a cat.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Daffodowndilly
by A.A. Milne

She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,
She wore her greenest gown;
She turned to the south wind
And curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbour:
"Winter is dead."
=
North Carolina

The hued flowers are weatherbeaten;
And their thin heads hang low.
Thundershowers dowsed them,
When, oddly, we needed snow.
Indeed, they look sorrowful,
Done in, yet still young.
But, the 'Houdini' weeds rebound:
"Spring has sprung."

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Though April showers may come your way,
They bring the flowers that bloom in May,
So if it's raining have no regrets,
Because it isn't raining rain you know, it's raining violets."
=
When you see a big storm high over yon hills,
Thus, you know it can soon enhance fragrant frills,
Oh boy, it is very inspiring to me,
As a witty, ambitious, anagram-writing retiree.

Dharam Khalsa with:
May-Flower
Emily Dickinson

Pink, small, and punctual,
Aromatic, low,
Covert in April,
Candid in May,

Dear to the moss,
Known by the knoll,
Next to the robin
In every human soul.

Bold little beauty,
Bedecked with thee,
Nature forswears
Antiquity.
=
Knock-Out Rose

Thick dramatic blooms
On prickly stem,
Abundant perfume,
And I thank them.

On biannual Equinox,
They boldly flower,
But delicate leaves
Insects devour.

Yet, now I'll tend them,
And water I will ration.
Why? My early
Inspiration.

David Bourke with:
An Incomplete List of Things More Capable of Running the Country than the Current Government - Brian Bilston

A bollard. A thimble. A beef gravy granule.
A bilge pump. A plectrum. A Pokemon annual.
A doorknob. A chaffinch. An old rusty kettle.
A footbath. A clothes peg. A wine stain. A pebble.
A ceramic spoon holder. A fruit polo mint.
A discarded tissue. A puddle. Some lint.
A used toner cartridge. Some musical socks.
A build up of silt. A stuffed startled fox.
A plimsoll. A wingnut. A set of false teeth.
A novelty wall clock with the face of Prue Leith.
A beetle. A drumlin. A short piece of string.
A packet of Wotsits. A plant pot. Most things.

=

An Incomplete List Of Things More Interesting Than Keir Starmer:

Decaf tea. Turf. Ant and Dec. A leaf raker.
A sackful of offal. A humpback whale cloaca.
Goat phlegm. Combs. Toothbrushes. A purple pullover.
A catheter. Dartford. A toilet in Dover.
The Cones Hotline. Pallets at Milton Keynes Station.
A Britney Spears' Hits Twelve-Inch Mix compilation.
Football fans. Belgium. A foul dose of the clap.
Fungus. Lettuce. Ontario. Tin cans. Watford Gap.
Boils. Rusty old nails. A dripping old faucet.
Ann Widdecombe's bottom in an Ann Summers corset.
Teetotallers. A tub of lard. William Hague.
Punk played on the bagpipes. The bubonic plague.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Today
by Mary Oliver

Today I m flying low and I m
not saying a word
I m letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep.

The world goes on as it must,
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.
And so forth.

But I m taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move though really I m traveling
a terrific distance.

Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.
=
On this day, I lollygag in the silence,
Not venturing outside.
I don't like to get interference
From a mad world so wide.

Interruption might be inevitable;
I left my phone on airplane mode.
That may be the most sensible
For my modest abode.

After I sit tight in that stillness,
I hear a fly, a dog, a gull, a dove -
A smart quartet of lightness,
Worthy of my love.

Highlight. The goal of a stagnant day.

Dharam Khalsa with:
A police officer stopped a BMW, approached the driver's window and said, "May I have your license and registration, please?"

The driver said, "I don't have a license."

The cop asked: "Can I have the registration?"

"It's not my car, I stole it" answered the driver.

"A stolen car??" asked the cop.

The man answered, "Yes, but when I think about it, I remember finding the registration. It was in the glove compartment when I put the gun in there."

"A gun in the glove compartment???"

The driver said, "Yes, officer, I put it there after I killed the owner and threw the body into the trunk".

"Wow, a body in the trunk????"

"Yes, officer."

The officer immediately called it in, and his superior arrived quickly.

Within a few minutes, cops surrounded the car, and the top ranking lieutenant approached the driver's window. "May I have your license?"

"Yes, you may," answered the man, while handing over his license.

"Who owns this car?" asked the lieutenant.

"It's mine, officer. Here's the registration".

The officer said: "Would you please slowly open the glove compartment so I can see if there's a gun inside?"

"Sure, but there's no gun inside". There was no gun.

The police lieutenant asked, "Would you mind opening the trunk? I got information that there's a body".

"No problem", the driver opened the trunk, which was empty, except for jumper cables.

"I don't understand. The cop who called told us you don't have a license, you stole the car, there's a gun in the glove compartment, and a body in the trunk."

The man replied, "I'll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!"=
I recently attended an in-person Inter-Religion Seminar at a resort.

The representative Christian Bishop came over, tenderly laid his hands over mine and pronounced, "By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"
I politely said thanks, that I appreciate the support, but I'm a runner and have no documented handicap or issue. My leg function is quite sufficient.

Then, the unpretentious Rabbi came over, laid his hands upon mine and offered, "By the power of Hashem Almighty, you will walk today!" It was super-frustrating;
however, I pointed out with appropriate respect that there is nothing wrong with me.

Then, the esteemed Mullah came over, took my hands and praised Allah, pronouncing, "You will walk today!"
It was irksome, so I snapped, "Nonsense, there is nothing wrong with me!"

Next, the enlightened Hindu devotee came over, concentrated, and volunteered, "I am certain that you will walk today."
I reiterated, "There is nothing wrong with me. I have no leg defect. You see, they are perfect!"

Then, the introspective Buddhist Monk came, took my hand in his and offered, "By the kindness of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!"
However, I rebutted that there is nothing wrong with me.

After the Seminar had concluded, I hurriedly emerged outside, disoriented, noting that my car had been stolen.

So perceptive! I guess I was an irreverent over-caffeinated skeptic, the cocksure critic with erroneous preconceived ideas;
but, now I respect all the peaceful religious faiths as one.

David Bourke with:
'Elected' by Alice Cooper

I'm your top prime cut of meat
I'm your choice
I wanna be elected
I'm your Yankee Doodle Dandy in a gold Rolls Royce
I wanna be elected

Kids want a savior and don't need a fake
I wanna be elected
We're all gonna rock to the rules that I make
I wanna be elected

Elected
Elected, yeah
Respected, yeah
Elected

I never lied to you,
I've always been cool
I wanna be elected
I gotta get the vote
And I told you 'bout school
I wanna be elected

Elected
Elected
Hallelujah
I wanna be selected

Everyone in the United States Of America!

We're gonna win this one
Take the country by storm
We're gonna be elected
You and me together, young and strong
We're gonna be elected

Elected
Elected
Respected, selected, call collected
I wanna be elected

And if I am elected
I promise the formation of a new party
A third party, the wild party!
I know we have problems
We got problems right here in Central City
We have problems on the North, South, East and West
New York City, Saint Louis, Philadelphia, Los Angeles
Detroit, Chicago
Everybody has problems
And personally, I don't care.

=

'Re-Elected - Always My Destiny' by Donald Trump

The boorish toupeed one's back,
The world may now rejoice,
I wanna be elected!
A bleach-haired orange total tool with a whiny voice,
I wanna be elected!

Soon gonna make America great again,
I wanna be elected!
Got a bullet to my ear, fought on through the pain,
I wanna be elected!

Elected!
Elected, yeah!
Elected!
Re-elected!

Decrepit Biden's clapped out,
Kamala, have you seen her?
I wanna be elected!
A word-salad-spewing loony cackling like a hyena,
I wanna be elected!

Re-elected!
Re-elected!
Re-elected!
Re-elected!

Everyone in the United States Of America!

We're gonna win very bigly,
Destroy the no-chance Blues.
We're gonna be elected!
We'll make that Pelosi woman yesterday's news (for now),
We're gonna be elected!

Elected!
Elected!
Elected!
Re-elected!

When I replace that doddery, disorientated, physically
incontinent old fool in the White House (Obama's puppet),
I do promise, our stormy times are over! Trust Uncle Donny,
folks! My cult of personality. A dictator blatantly above
the Democrat donkeys' vitriolic politics?
I don't give a hoot.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Here are a few key points from Project 2025 (Pro-Trump proposal to "Reshape America"):

*Overhaul the way the FBI usually operates, end the term limit for the FBI head, who yellowly swears undue loyalty to the president.
*Shelve the Department of Education, ban "critical race theory", bury, burn or republish various "heathen" or "unholy" books (Eyre?), seek harsh punishments for anyone audacious enough to teach sex education to unruly youth.
*Assure that voter registration fraud and unlawful ballot tampering will remain federal offenses, neither investigated nor prosecuted.
*Defy progressive Biden-era policies addressing unusual weather changes, vanishing honeybees and deforestation, while redoubling untenable fossil fuel industries, thereby unheedfully withdrawing from further efforts to research alternative energy.
*Suspend cybersecurity efforts to assess mis- and disinformation. Hey, the busy federal employee's eye can't see what is true or what is hooey either.
*Reverse immigration policies to phase out work-visas which allow seasonal workers to cross the US border with Mexico; then isolate and indefinitely hold any "undesirable hoodlums."
*Reverse the ability to safely have abortions, inhibit funding of birth control as health care.
*Eliminate LGBTQ+ protections, remove offensive words like "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" from vital records.
*End ties with China, hush TikTok, eventually disentangling from all business endeavors.
*Reverse protections against discrimination in housing, hostilely selling off residences, a priority to a needy real estate investor, but highly lethal to the needy house owner.
*Offer amnesty for any hobby assault gun fanciers.
*Bid adieu to the unions of "yesterday's heyday" (youthful nostalgia)
=
Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

"GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Count of Nominations by Author

= Nom in all categories (not counting Rude & Unspecified)

Dharam Khalsa	47	(gen 4, ent 2, top 12, ppl 2, oth 4, med 2, lng 8, spc 6, awc 7)
Rosie Perera	27	(gen 3, top 15, oth 3, med 4, lng, awc)
David Bourke	25	(ent 4, top 3, ppl 6, oth 3, med 3, lng, spc 2, awc 3)
View	21	(gen 5, ent, top 3, ppl 4, oth 2, med 3, awc 2, rud)
Adie Pena	16	(gen 2, ent 2, top 4, ppl, oth 3, med, lng, awc, rud)
Tom Myers	10	(gen 7, top 2, oth)
FatPhil	5	(gen, ent 3, top)
Rick Rothstein	5	(ent, top 2, ppl, oth)
Brian Taylor	5	(gen 2, top 2, oth)
Tony Crafter	5	(top 2, lng 2, spc)
Colleen Parkin	4	(gen 2, lng 2)
Murray Cameron	3	(gen 2, rud)
Nenad Savic	2	(oth 2)
Jesse Frankovich	2	(gen 2)
Josiah Winslow	2	(ent, med)
Christopher Sturdy	1	(rud)
Dan Fortier	1	(gen)
Lardy Girl	1	(lng)
Zoran Radisavlevic	1	(oth)

The Anagrammy Awards

Current Nominations for September, 2024 [183]

THE GENERAL CATEGORY [31 nominations]

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY [14 nominations]

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY [46 nominations]

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY [14 nominations]

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY [21 nominations]

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY [14 nominations]

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY [14 nominations]

THE LONG CATEGORY [16 nominations]

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY [9 nominations]

THE RUDE CATEGORY [4 nominations]

Count of Nominations by Author