Here are the Anagrammy Awards for March 2000 There were 28 votes received, somewhat higher than average because of the remainder email that I sent out. However, response from ex-members of alt.anagrams was rather poor. However. since nobody asked to be removed from the mailing list, I will continue to send this each month. OK, here are the winners..... The General Category As usual, this was one of the larger categories. Mey Kraus had quite a few excellent anagrams in this category and I could not pick the best one. As a result I consulted a Higher Power (my wife) and she picked the one below. It was good choice. Mey started strongly and gradually extended his lead. 1st. Mey Kraus with: 39 points Wearing a toupee. = I tape a wee rug on. 2nd. Linda Garrett with: 20 points Love and Marriage. = Real men do Viagra. Eq 3rd. Jaybur with: 17 points Tabloid press. = A topless bird. Eq 3rd. Graham Perkins with: 17 points Existentialism. = I exist, am silent. ------------------------------------------ The Entertainment Category I.D. Letterman has been quiet in recent times, but he staged a comeback with a great win here. His 'gram was the highest polled anagrams in all the categories. This was his 5th Anagrammy. 1st. I.D. Letterman with: 55 points Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?= A wealth ambition; win or lose. 2nd. Graham Perkins with: 31 points Come friends who plough the sea, Truce to navigation, take another station, Let's vary piracy, with a little burglary.= Hello sailors,I fancy a valuable art nicking opportunity.We can roger them twatty daughters too (their tits heave). 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 22 points The Gondoliers. = Do sing the role. ------------------------------------------ The Topical Category For the first few days, I thought that I had this category won but Mey caught up and passed me. 1st. Mey Kraus with: 40 points The Pope's speech in Israel, grieving for the Holocaust dead. = The perished group? He apologised for the Vatican's silence. 2nd. Larry Brash with: 28 points The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras . = G'day, transgendered? By analysis, a him. 3rd. David Bourke with: 19 points His Holiness Pope John Paul. = Hope in Polish plan, oh Jesus? ------------------------------------------ The Rude Category This was a close three-way contest between Mey, Mick Tully and Ormasyna. Ormasyna hung in there and just passed Mick on the last vote. Her first Anagrammy. 1st. Ormasyna with: 35 points More Britney Spears Pictures. = Erect boner! I spurt my praises! 2nd. Mick Tully with: 33 points Dilatation and curettage. = Agitated an irate old cunt. 3rd. Mey Kraus with: 31 points Toilet Brush. =Shit-trouble! ------------------------------------------ The Spam Category Mey started well here then Richard G caught up, but Mey polled well in the last 2 days to secure another win. 1st. Mey Kraus with: 39 points Here's an idea... (81058)If you think FREE PORN on the net is hard to find, think again...We've got thousands of FREE XXX pics and FREE VIDEOS waiting for you! = To (81058):I *think* you pissed off the wrong person.I won't visit an XXX site even if I had gonorrhea and you had a cure.Here's a different ending: Take off!!! 2nd. Richard Grantham with: 30 points Want some easy bucks? Without paying, or surfing? You could get 100$just for a couple hours of work. If interested send me an email. stim...@hotmail.com = Like a fat rhino horn up your tidy rectum? Well, pigassfucker, spam me JUST ONCE MORE - you may soon find out how it feels. twiggoesinb...@sadass.com 3rd. Ormasyna with: 29 points You Can Be Your Own Boss. = No way, you obscure snob! ------------------------------------------ The Long Spam Category This has been another of Mey Kraus month. He won a double spammy. This was close until the mid-point, but Mey broke clear in the last few days for his 4th win this month. That is 10 for the last 3 months and 35 in the All-time winners list, giving a share of the lead with Richard Brodie. 1st. Mey Kraus with: 41 points TRANSYLVANIA (IT) - Two attractive young women have disappeared [snip] 2nd. Jon Gearhart with: 35 points "To be honest, the dating scene can be boring; [snip] 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 33 points$10,000 PER WEEK IN SIX WEEKS! [snip] ------------------------------------------ The Long Category The was one of the biggest ever field in this category, but only two shone out and had a ding-dong battle all the way. Linda just pipped Jon on the line with the last vote. That is her 2nd Anagrammy Award. 1st. Linda Garrett with: 27 points To spell out "Two Mormons came to Bill's door" [snip] 2nd. Jon Gearhart with: 25 points Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam[snip] 3rd. David Bourke with: 19 points Won't Get Fooled Again[snip] ------------------------------------------ The Name Category Another close event with David B, Janet B and Mick all leading at some time. David finished well clear and picked up his 3rd Anagrammy for 2000 and his 8th overall. This has become David's favourite category with 4 of his 8 wins here. 1st. David Bourke with: 43 points Madonna Louise Ciccone. = One cool dance musician. 2nd. Mick Tully with: 38 points Leni Riefenstahl. = Senile Hitler fan. 3rd. Jaybur with 37 points Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney. = She'll capture a lyric man's heart, mind. ------------------------------------------ The Place Names Category One of our most prolific anagrammers, Tom Myers, started slowly but received 5 consecutive primary votes midway and kept a reasonable lead. Fifth Anagrammy for this year and 26th overall, keeping at 4th on the All-Time List. 1st. Tom Myers with: 35 points Museum of Modern Art, New York (The MOMA). = To humour Tom Myers, frame naked women. 2nd. Richard Grantham with: 28 points My dear old very squeaky Olivetti typewriter. = Rusty qwerty-keyed medieval tool, RIP-variety. 3rd. Larry Brash with: 22 points Bayerische Motoren Werke. = Yes, newer car, motorbike, eh? ------------------------------------------ The Anagram Set Category This was another category where I was an early leader. I was soon passed by Dan Etter, then by Ormasyna who was the eventual victor. Her second awards this month. 1st. Ormasyna with: 40 points Vegetarianism. = Starve? Imagine! Serving meat? Ai!!! Save grain item. 2nd. Daniel F Etter with: 31 points Make a run for the border. = Hark! Entre made of burro! Adore heartburn? Fork me! Oh, run! More bad fart reek! Bathroom rerun. Freaked! Faked another bum order. 3rd. Larry Brash with: 23 points An erection. = No nicer eat. Neater icon. Nice, ornate. Onan recite. Are not nice. ------------------------------------------ The Special Category Any of the first three could have won this and it is only fair that each gets an award. Richard G's witty ditty snatched the lead with the last two primary votes. This was Richard G's 7th win this year and 12th overall. Linda's 12 Steps was particularly funny set of anagrams and gave her a second Anagrammy. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 31 points Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis! [snip] 2nd. Richard Brodie with: 30 points Psalm 136 is the only chapter I am aware of in the bible where each verse ends with the same refrain. [snip] 3rd. Linda Garrett with: 29 points The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. = Love These Con Steps - Fun Way to Alcoholism [snip] ------------------------------------------ The Awardsmaster Choice Award for the Best Non-winning Anagram It is always hard to pick from so many good anagrams that just missed out. The one that I chose was deeply offensive, blatantly sexist and very crude (all the essential elements of a Mick Tully anagram) and therefore it was an easy choice for me. Mick Tully with: Dilatation and curettage. = Agitated an irate old cunt. ------------------------------------------ Congratulations to all the winners and thank you everyone for such a good turn up at the polls.