Here we go with this month's winners. All pages have been updated withthe exception of the Poems page which I will update at a later date. --------------------------------------------------- THE GENERAL CATEGORY As usual, the General Category was quite large with 14 nominations. This category took a day or so to establish a leader in the form of Tom Myers. Once ahead, he maintained a steady lead and cruised in for a comfortable win. Nice showing for newbie, John Fidler with equal 2nd. 1st: Tom Myers with: 27 points Famous traditional southern wedding march. = A dirt farmer with a loaded shotgun 'n' no music. Eq 2nd: Meyran Kraus with: 18 points E-mail Address = Dread Melissa! Eq 2nd: John Fidler with: 18 points Do not disturb = Odd to burst in? --------------------------------------------------- THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY Oh, my God, this was close right down to the wire. Mey, Tom and Mick all had the lead at several times and usually only 2-3 points covered these three. The last batch of votes decided the matter with the 2nd and 3rd preferences just stealing the win off Mick. 1st: Meyran Kraus with: 31 points Mel Gibson, "The Patriot" = He is promoting battle! 2nd: Mick Tully with: 29 points Last of the Mohicans = Mash a lot of ethnics. 3rd: Tom Myers with: 27 points Pamplona's "the running of the bulls" = Gamble on horns? Painful stunt. Help! --------------------------------------------------- THE TOPICAL CATEGORY Another close one. Richard G had a good lead much of the way, but Tom gradually closed the gap and took the lead towards the end only to lose it by one point on the last vote. 1st: Richard Grantham with: 26 points Billions are to be paid out to the victims of lung and throat cancer = Liable to ruin the five tobacco drug companies that lost? No, darn it! 2nd: Tom Myers with: 25 points Riots protest the Peruvian Presidential Inauguration. = It irritates Peru as earlier voting is not on the up-and-up. 3rd: Dan Fortier with: 21 points A Concorde crashes while taking off in Paris = Plane ages: now has risk of horrific accident? --------------------------------------------------- THE RUDE CATEGORY Long-standing alt.anagrams member William Tunstall-Pedoe had been a bit of a stranger from the newsgroup of late and had not won an Anagrammy since September 1998. Surprisingly, William, a connoisseur of rude anagrams, had never won the Rude Category. He lead throughout easily holding off a late challenge from Richard Grantham. William's 8th Anagrammy and he remains 12th in the All-Time List. 1st: William Tunstall-Pedoe with: 33 points Simultaneous Orgasm = Rogue aims: slut moans. 2nd: Richard Grantham with: 28 points Heterosexual = Use extra hole? Eq 3rd: Dan Fortier with: 20 points All tastes and vices catered = Salted anal crevices tasted. Eq 3rd: Mick Tully with: 20 points She was only a welder's daughter, but she had acetylene tits. = Laud that cutey! Yet, has she gas in her well-endowed breasts? --------------------------------------------------- THE SPAM CATEGORY This is one of my favourite categories. I got off to a promising start and was never challenged. My 39th Anagrammy and this moved me to equal second in the All-Time List. 1st. Larry Brash with: 44 points A hidden camera follows the prom queen and her date back to their motel room. You get to see it all! = ALERT!! READ ME!: Abandon hope all ye who enter here! Its rot, a load of old shit etc! Get me out quick, Mom! 2nd: Martin Rand with: 29 points Dear: Friend Viagra for women??? http://www.castlebound.com/love/index.htm = Worn-out vagina??? Oh, darn! Comic relief at: http://www.fondled-sex-member/vd 3rd: Meyran Kraus with: 28 points No competition, no inventory, no product hassles. = No spam, no loony idiots, no 'Nice Hot Cunt' perverts. --------------------------------------------------- THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY Richard Grantham's stronghold here looked unlikely to be beaten until on the penultimate day when I narrowed his lead to just one point. He had no need to worry as he polled solidly on the last day to open a 5 point break. 1st: Richard Grantham with: 49 points ---DIRECTIONS---FOR HOW TO POST TO NEWSGROUPS--- [snip] 2nd: Larry Brash with: 44 points 20 YEAR OLD HEALTH, NUTRITION AND WEIGHT LOSS CONTROL COMPANY [snip] 3rd: Meyran Kraus with: 18 points "Smooth," Santana Featuring Rob Thomas [snip] --------------------------------------------------- THE LONG CATEGORY This was quite close throughout the competition, with some betting that Dan Fortier's medium sized anagram would get up. However, Richard G's spoof on a research study involving anagrams was never far behind and the last 3 primary votes went to Richard for a narrow win. Richard Grantham with: 37 ANAGRAMS Sleep Deprivation [snip] Dan Fortier with: 34 We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,[snip] Janet Muggeridge with: 17 Her Majesty's Government says it is about to seek German recruits for the United Kingdom's Special Air Service. = Regiment is so reduced I've Krauts in Tommy's military forces. Be so perverse, ja? Nein, it's "hostage-takers, achtung! --------------------------------------------------- THE NAME CATEGORY A much smaller category than usual. Richard took an early lead which just got bigger and bigger. What can I say? It was another RG Month! 1st: Richard Grantham with: 46 points The Israeli general, Moshe Dayan = Hail, great hairless one-eyed man! 2nd: Meyran Kraus with: 28 points Mary Magdalene = Legendary ma'am. Eq 3rd: David Bourke with: 19 points Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, John Entwistle and Keith Moon = Note: The Who...nosy wonder, little gent, Spiderman, and The Joker Eq 3rd: Ernesto Guiraldes with: 19 points Actor Walter Matthau dies = A star with a moderate cult. Eq 3rd: Mick Tully with: 19 points David Michael Iwansky = I am devilish and wacky. --------------------------------------------------- THE PLACE NAME CATEGORY One critic pointed out that there was only one actual place name in this category. We have stuck with "Place Name" for this category of anagrams to cover proper names of everything other than people's names. If someone can think of a better name for the category, let me know. I have never been all that comfortable with it. Anyway, this was a pretty one-sided contest with David winning with a classic anagram. David now has won 11 Anagrammies and is 9th on the All-Time List. 1st: David Bourke with: 41 points Want cleaner bowels? = Newcastle Brown Ale. 2nd: Meyran Kraus with: 30 points Victoria's Secret Catalogue = Cool, cause I crave great tits. 3rd: Mick Tully with: 22 points Cambridge University = I'm studying beer, vicar! --------------------------------------------------- THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY I forgot to include Janet M's preferred set of anagrams here and they will appear in the next month's nominations. Nonetheless, she polled well enough to come in equal second. Mey moved ahead in the latter part of the competition and now has 41 Anagrammies and is now the outright leader on the All-Time List. 1st: Meyran Kraus with: 31 points Victoria's Secret Catalogue = Got actual erotica services. Cool, cause I crave great tits. Our static, erotic cleavages. It's our erotic cleavages act. Covet a girl: "A cute, erotic ass!" Eq 2nd: David Bourke with: 21 points The State of Israel = Felt haste to arise. Fate: It loses earth. Tolerate safe hits? Soft, eh? Retaliates! State Hitler as foe. Eq 2nd: Janet Muggeridge with: 21 points Golden Wedding Anniversary = Grand loving years end wined. Goldy award dinner's evening. And now reliving dad's energy. Worn diary gladdens evening. Dad's in revel and now greying. --------------------------------------------------- THE SPECIAL CATEGORY Richard Grantham just keeps going and going, pumping out more brilliance each month. The Special Category, one of his favourites, was no exception. Girlfriend, Linda showed that she is not far behind him and Tom made a rare appearance in this category to pick up an award, too. This was Richard's 5th win for the month and his 30th in an amazing 9 months. He is now in sight of the leading bunch of 4 of the All-Time List. Linda now has 5 Anagrammies for this year. Tom now has 32 awards, but despite winnig an average of almost 2 awards per month this year, Richard has nearly caught up with him. Richard Grantham with: 40 points The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the Universityof Copenhagen: Linda Garrett with: 32 points Tiger! Tiger! Burning bright 3rd: Tom Myers with: 26 points Dr Seuss Books --------------------------------------------------- THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY This was something new this month, but will not become a regular category at this stage. I threw up a challenge to members to create an anagrammed poem from this famous verse by William Blake. All attempts were accepted with a maximum of 3 per member. Martin Rand was the early leader, but I briefly passed him halfway through, only to be overhauled towards the end. Martin's second Anagrammy. Tiger! Tiger! burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry? 1st. Martin Rand with: 37 points Gerbil! Gerbil! Toasty warm On the filthy hamster farm, Grind thy huge symmetric teeth On fruit of fig (or underneath). 2nd: Larry Brash with: 23 points Big cat, might of Asian lair. Big feet thud; they seem so rare. Grrr! Men hunt now, grim, deft. Hurry, only thirty of them left. 3rd: Linda Garrett with: 21 points Mister Bunny, flaming bright What from God set thee alight? In error, for this made (oh my!) The lettuce-eating Furry fry. --------------------------------------------------- THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE AWARD FOR THE BEST NON-WINNING ANAGRAM There were many good runners-up this month, but my easy choice was Dan Fortier's long anagram which read so well and was so apt. Dan Fortier with: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. = Here the patriots had wanted to be quite clear as to why they can no longer remain British peers, but instead must end that life by revolt: We share faith that elected rule helped ensure all attain higher fate.