29 votes received, one after votes were closed was not accepted. 101 entrants in 11 categories. ----------------------------------------- THE GENERAL CATEGORY As usual a big field started out in this category with several likely winners. It was always going to be one of the first three. Ernesto Guiraldes, long out of the winners' circle, came home best to win his first Anagrammy this year and his 8th ever. 1st. Ernesto Guiraldes with: 28 points Who's the World's Stupidest Person? = Results show the Windsors topped. 2nd. Art Day with: 23 points There is no God but Allah = Death to all neighbours! 3rd. Rick Rothstein with: 22 points The Scriptures = Precise truths. ----------------------------------------- THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY This was close. The lead changed hands several times between the first three plcegetters. Mey jumped from 3rd to 1st when the last batch of votes were counted. 1st. Meyran Kraus with: 38 points Wile E. Coyote and The Roadrunner = Try a cartoon duel where none die! 2nd. Richard Grantham with: 36 points The Paralympic Games = Gym team has a cripple. 3rd. Chris Bradfield with: 35 points I left my heart in San Francisco = I am the classic forty-niner fan. ----------------------------------------- THE TOPICAL CATEGORY Every month, several newbies appear and many disappear without leaving a mark. Rick Rothstein joined us last month and is already making his presence known. He completely dominated this category with, in my opinion, one of the best topical anagrams that I have seen. 1st. Rick Rothstein with: 58 points The Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic = Damning evil policy, Serbs voted asshole out. 2nd. Janet Burholt with: 24 points Pride, covetousness, lust, envy, greed, anger, sloth = The Yugoslav revolts: censured President's gone. 3rd. Meyran Kraus with: 18 points Mel Carnahan, the Governor of Missouri = Great crash- mourn him, for noone's alive. ----------------------------------------- THE RUDE CATEGORY Rick also performed well here and kept one of the masters of this category, David Bourke, at bay to win his 2nd Anagrammy. 1st. Rick Rothstein with: 45 points I please her vagina = I have a large penis. 2nd. David Bourke with: 38 points The performing of cunnilingus = Chin/tongue in prone girl's muff. 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 20 points Nauseating = Eating anus. ----------------------------------------- THE SPAM CATEGORY When Richard Grantham posted this spamagram, I decided there was no way I could match that. Very clever and very funny, and an easy winner. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 54 points My White Cotton Panties are Rolled Down Over My Firm Tan Thighs! And My Knees are Up Over My Head!! Guess What You Can See? = Wow! I Can See Them - A Warty, Runny Minge, One Of Your Dodgy Herpetic Vulva Sores, And The Stinky Arsehole That Spammed Me! 2nd. David Bourke with: 37 points CHECK THIS OUT Try this site out. I found some really great Items. http://www.sincerelyyours.com Thanks Tiffany= Why e-post here, sucker? Fuck off, you cretin! In Alt.Anagrams, we do not wish to try this scummy, shitty little site. 3rd. Larry Brash with: 28 points WARNING: IF YOU ARE DRINKING DIET SODAS WHICH CONTAIN ASPARTAME OR USING SUGAR-FREE PRODUCTS - READ THIS!! = Dear fat-ass, don't spam us again with your weirdo untrue crap, regarding Coke and/or Irish gins, etc. Finish! ----------------------------------------- THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY Richard again dominated this category to win the Double Spamagrammy, again, with an excellent and innovative effort. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 56 points From: m...@lycos.com Subject: Get yourself out of debt 2nd. David Bourke with: 25 points The Most Powerful Anti-Obesity Drug Ever Discovered! 3rd. Ralph Musco with: 21 points Live Girl Productions Learn how to Strip for your partner! with "The Art of Seduction" Video ----------------------------------------- THE LONG CATEGORY Another close event, fought out by two of the best in this genre, with Mey finishing more strongly. This was in 2nd for the month and his 20th win this year. That gives him 45 wins all up and a well deserved lead of the All-Time Board. 1st. Meyran Kraus with: 35 points Robert Bridges Winter Nightfall 2nd. Richard Grantham with: 32 points [A poem by W.H.Auden] 3rd. Ralph Musco with: 25 points FS: MACE PERSONAL PROTECTION DEVICE. ----------------------------------------- THE PEOPLE'S NAME CATEGORY 10 starters here with several potential winners. Janet Burholt's delightful anagram impressed me and I was pleased to see it win a close contest. 1st. Janet Burholt with: 30 points Sir Peter Paul Rubens = Superb painter rules. 2nd. Circe with: 27 points Marilyn Monroe = *Norma* , in my role. 3rd. Don P Fortier with: 23 points Alfred Hitchcock, Master of Suspense = Plot? Heck, he scared us stiff! Scream on! ----------------------------------------- THE OTHER NAME CATEGORY Janet was in good form this month ith a comfortable win here, giving her the Name Double. This was her 7th Anagrammy win and moved her up to 14th on the All-Time List. 1st. Janet Burholt with: 36 points Fire of London = Inferno of old. 2nd. Ralph Musco with: 23 points Upset Stomach = Tums stop ache. 3rd. Andrew Denny with: 22 points The International Space Station = Pathetic totalitarian nonsense. ----------------------------------------- THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY A bigger than usual field of seven competitors began here, but one could see who was likely to win even before the voting started. Brad Williams completely swamped the field with his clever joke set. His first Anagrammy. 1st. Brad Williams with: 56 points Man walks into the bar I use, a trusty duck tethered. = 2nd. Don P Fortier with: 24 points Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" = 3rd. Janet Burholt with: 18 points Severe flood warning = ----------------------------------------- THE SPECIAL CATEGORY There some great anagrams in this category this month, as there usually are. Richard's Arsehole was never in doubt as the winner. This was his 3rd for the month and moves him into equal 2nd place with me on the All-Time Board. Two other past champions of this category were worthy runners-up. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 44 points ARSEHOLE 2nd. Jon Gearhart with: 21 points The Land of Beyond by Robert W. Service 3rd. Mike Keith with: 20 points [Four-Gram-Word Text (from Will Shak. play)] ----------------------------------------- THE AWARDMASTER'S CHOICE AWARD FOR THE BEST NON-WINNING ANAGRAM. I tend to select shorter anagrams as winners here, and several runners-up could have made it, but it was a long 3rd placed anagram than really tickled my funny bone. Ralph Musco's Military Attack Mice was hilarious and a brilliant effort for a new member. Here the full version: Ralph Musco with: FS: MACE PERSONAL PROTECTION DEVICE This is real MACE, made by MSI - exactly what many police departments issue their officers. These are police issue models and are legal everywhere in the USA. The device is TRIPLE-ACTING - containing MACE (tear gas), PEPPER (oleocapsicum) and UV (ultraviolet) dye for ID purposes. They are ideal for women to carry, fitting easily into a purse or pocket. The price is $20.00 per cannister, shipping included. We accept VISA, MASTERCARD, AMERICAN EXPRESS, DISCOVER, DINERS CLUB, and CARTE BLANCHE. C.O.D. orders are charged shipping plus a $5.00 C.O.D. fee, and MUST be paid via MONEY ORDER. To order, send your payment to: ON TARGET 1209 JERICHO TURNPIKE NEW HYDE PARK, NY 11040 516-328-3004 516-328-3641 FAX Credit card orders may be phoned or FAXed. ** MAKE SURE YOU INCLUDE YOUR NAME, ** ** FULL STREET ADDRESS, AND DAYTIME ** ** AND EVENING PHONE NUMBER(S). ** neil hoffman gun...@ontarget-ny.com NOTE: This product ONLY available in the United States of America. = For Sale: Military Attack Mice $160 each ($1,400 for 10) These imported mice are genetically-engineered for superior performance and dependability. Over 68,100 casualties have been linked to our psychopathic rodents. In use by 342 law enforcement agencies. Trained by handsome, tan ex-Army cadre in weaponry, tactics, and strategy, they're perfect assassins, bodyguards, spies, and mercenaries. They have exceptional survival skills, and need little maintenance (self-cleaning), food (feed on targets of opportunity), or currency. Due to overproduction, these high-end animals are available at deep discounts. Free overnight shipping (DHL). Canadian orders add $30 import fee. Mail certified checks or money orders to: Super-Rodent Engineering, Inc. 91 Patuxent Rd. San Jose, CA 01232 Or pay by Credit Card (AMEX/MC/Visa): (800) 555-MICE (6423) Rudolph Udelup, PhD Visit: www.superrat.com e-mail: ude...@superrat.com CAUTION: Improper use may cause pet death or emphysema.