Sorry about the previous 2 incomplete posts. Here are the winners of the July 2001 Anagrammy Awards. 25 votes were received this month. This was the first month were a perl script was used on the voting page, a modified version of one kindly supplied by William Tunstall-Pedoe. As I learn more perl, you can expect to see increasingly sophisicated use of perl scripts on the website. I am still on a steep learning curve. As usual, there were some close categories, some easy wins and some surprise finishes. ---------------- GENERAL CATEGORY The main feature of this month's General Category was the pleasingly high number of quite short anagrams, most being less than 15 letters and some less than 10 letters. Three stood out and provided an interesting contest throughout, with the final day's votes promoting Richard Grantham's effort from third to first. The first three win an Anagrammy, but only the leader makes it to the Grand Anagrammy in January 2002. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 29 A water-closet = To clear waste. 2nd. Adrian Hickford with: 26 Headstone = One's death. 3rd. David Bourke with: 23 Christian values = Real chauvinists. 4th. Wayne Baisley with: 16 Fermat's Last Theorem = Realm of the smartest. Eq 5th. Richard Brodie with: 11 Security patrol = Truly irate cops. Eq 5th. Meyran Kraus with: 11 A spider-web = I'd wrap bees. ---------------- ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY I had a quiet month with too little time spent on anagramming and too much learning perl. Towards the end of the month, I decided I better get going and I found the winner of this category. I led comfortaby throughout, but with a late challenge from Tom and Mey. 1st. Larry Brash with: 30 The Impressionist painter, Claude Monet = He attempts intense colour. I am inspired. 2nd. Tom Myers with: 25 'Kiss of the Dragon' = Godforsaken shit! 3rd. Meyran Kraus with: 23 Victor Hugo's 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' = Savour the unmatched gothic French book. ---------------- TOPICAL CATEGORY This was initially quite close between Richard G, Janet B and newcomer, Lardy Girl. Ernesto Guiraldes had a huge surge of votes towards the end to challenge the eventual winner, Lardy Girl. Nice to see the one of the shortest anagrams in the category winning. 1st. Lardy Girl with: 29 Etna's eruption = Nature opens it. 2nd. Ernesto Guiraldes with: 26 Napster is dead = Saddens pirate. 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 21 President Megawati Sukarnoputri = Usurper said it meant taking power. ---------------- RUDE CATEGORY This was pretty close until the latter section of the contest, with Lardy Girl pulling ahead for a modest 7 point win. I cannot recall a newcomer winning two awards in their first month in alt.anagrams. An impressive start - well done. Lardy. 1st. Lardy Girl with: 34 Erotic massage = Orgasmic tease. Eq 2nd. Richard Grantham with: 27 Performance anxieties = Impotence near fair sex. Eq 2nd. Adrian Hickford with: 27 Cheap toilet paper = Crap! People hate it! ---------------- SPAM CATEGORY Just five starters, including a late self-nom of mine. David Bourke set the early pace, but Mey polled a huge 17 points on Day 4, to take a massive lead. 1st. Meyran Kraus with: 45 Take a minute to fill out the simple form below and receive a quote comparing the best values from among hundreds of the nation's top insurance companies! [snip] 2nd. Don P. Fortier with: 27 Pinnacle Deals is a free site that provides daily updates of the hottest and most difficult to find deals. [snip] 3rd. Larry Brash: 24 Network Solutions - a Verisign Company = Look, sinners, you can view rotting spam! ---------------- LONG CATEGORY This was a bad luck month for David. Again, he led most of the way only to be overhauled on the last two days to lose narrowly to Richard G who took 7 of the last 9 primary votes. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 35 When I do count the clock that tells the time, [snip] 2nd. David Bourke with: 33 The Lord's Prayer [snip] 3rd. Jaybur with: 27 Be not like the child in ALL ways, child, For the child in his impatient curiosity Pries open the bud, [snip] ---------------- PEOPLE'S NAME CATEGORY Adrian Hickford is not a high volume poster here, but what he does post is always highly relevant and usually quite witty. This one was a good example. There was early competition from David Green, but Adrian was never in doubt. This was Adrian's second award for the month and his 5th ever. 1st. Adrian Hickford with: 38 Yasmin Le Bon = Mainly bones. 2nd. Meyran Kraus with: 26 Pietro Mascagni = Isn't opera magic? 3rd. David A. Green with: 24 Not many forget ~ Margot Fonteyn. ---------------- OTHER NAME CATEGORY One of the closer contests this month. The finish was a cliff-hanger, with the last voter's 3rd preference vote breaking a tied situation. Janet is a frequent winner in the name categories, with 9 of her 22 Anagrammies coming from these two categories. She now has 10 awards this year (for 3rd place in 2001). 1st. Jaybur with: 33 Ego Boost Bra = O, great boobs! 2nd. David Bourke with: 32 Colonel Sanders' Kentucky Fried Chicken = Foul skinny cocks enriched late redneck. 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 30 Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra = Horn, chime, harp, brilliant score. ---------------- SPECIAL CATEGORY I can't believe it! Three Special Category wins in a row! This was my one major anagramming effort for the month and I had hoped it may have got me a second or third place. It seems humorous anagrams are out-doing the literary gems of Mey, Richard and others in the voters' eyes these days. Personally, I felt that the runners-up produced better quality anagrams than mine, but I won't argue too much with the result. This was my second award this month, 9th for the year and 57th all-up. Mey's beautiful rose anagrams gave him his second award for the month, 17th for the year and 67th ever. 1st. Larry Brash with: 37 Dear Friend: Find solutions to all your daily problems and life's challenges at the click of a mouse button? [snip] 2nd. Richard Grantham with: 27 [Plath's depiction of a suicide, anagrammed into a depiction of Plath's suicide.]. [snip] 3rd. Meyran Kraus with: 24 [A poem by Henry Vaughan, and 3 anagrammed paraphrases of existing poems also related to roses.] [snip] ---------------------- THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY Longfellow would have turned in his grave if he could have read these rearrangements of this verse from his famous poem, the Village Blacksmith. I think that he would have been pissing himself with laughter especially at Richard G's hilarious reworking. This was Richard's 4th win of the month, 26th of the year and he leads The All-Time Table with 82 wins. He promises me that he will slow down his anagrammimg, especially as Linda is now back in the country (I don't believe him for a minute) Under a spreading chestnut-tree The village smithy stands; The smith, a mighty man is he, With large and sinewy hands; And the muscles of his brawny arms Are strong as iron bands. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 29 Within a tubby grandma's legs An intern gyno stands; If he gives the hairy clam a smear And then inspects her glands, The matron surely starts to muse, "I wish he'd warmed his hands." 2nd. Larry Brash with: 20 By a brothel's wan red light, [snip] 3rd. Adrian Hickford with: 18 Amidst the many tangl'd sheets [snip] ---------------- AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE AWARD FOR THE BEST NON-WINNING ANAGRAM. Never an easy choice. Richard and I looked carefully at the second placed nominations in each category. We strongly considered Tom Myers' Kiss of the Dragon and David Green's Margo Fonteyn as good chances here, but decided to go with a longer anagram this month which was really unlucky not to win. It was: David Bourke with: The Lord's Prayer [snip] This gave David his second award for the month (he could have had 3-4, looking at his early scoring). He has had 9 wins for the year and 28th all up, consolidating his 6th place.