1 | Rick | 70 | For the evil that men do ~ doth live on after them. |
2 | Rosie Perera | 68 | Internet addiction = Cannot end it. I tried. |
3 | Deano | 67 | "One small step for man, one giant leap ... = Neil's plan - speak for a moment after... |
4 | zolrakk | 23 | Nutrition facts = I instruct on fat. |
5 | Mey Kraus | 18 | Bikes ensured ~ bruised knees. |
6 | Ellie | 16 | The law of self-preservation = Welfare of the person's vital! |
6 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 16 | A polyphonic ringtone = The poor, annoying clip. |
8 | Tony Crafter | 15 | Scared of responsibility = Fears direction possibly? |
9 | Toby Gottfried | 13 | Earth, air, fire, and water = A hard, wet terrain, I fear. |
10 | Ernesto Guiraldes | 11 | What Italy is really in need of ~ is a fertile and Holy new laity. |
11 | View | 3 | Parodist = I do parts. |
Total points: | 320 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.204) |
1 | zolrakk | 70 | Rap music ~ Is, um...crap. |
2 | Ellie | 51 | "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet " = Be honest...we assume lady really wants Romeo. |
3 | Deano | 47 | Big Brother contestants ~ cannot be brightest sort. |
4 | David Bourke | 34 | The tennis player Maria Yuryevna Sharapova = Ah! Very pert Russian anatomy...a heavenly pair! |
5 | Mey Kraus | 29 | The Beatle Ringo Starr (Richard Starkey) = He dares to sing a track rather terribly. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 23 | Operatic style = Stereotypical. |
7 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 22 | An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer = Went there - loved hearing man's wit. |
7 | Toby Gottfried | 22 | George Gershwin's `Rhapsody in Blue´ = His `Porgy and Bess´ grew huge in lore. |
9 | Scott Gardner | 17 | Renoir's "Portrait of Claude Monet" = Or "no mere picture of an old artist". |
10 | Larry Brash | 4 | An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer = We who never mind his great talent. |
11 | View | 3 | The group Guns'n'Roses = Ogre runs up the songs. |
Total points: | 322 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.204) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 63 | Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes = OK, is the romance simulated? |
2 | Toby Gottfried | 43 | California earthquakes = Quite a shake for car in L.A. |
3 | Ellie | 41 | The Live Eight Concert = Then rich elect to give? |
4 | ofap | 28 | The Glastonbury Festival = A vast, slithery, fluent bog. |
5 | Deano | 27 | An Islamist's hatred of all things American = Fanaticism that is normal raghead illness. |
6 | Rosie Perera | 24 | Tropical storm Arlene = Torrent alarms police. |
7 | Tony Crafter | 23 | On alert! Wimbledon season due! = And no doubt we'll see some rain. |
8 | Don Rogers | 19 | School's out for summer = Shut rooms; close forum. |
9 | Joe Fathallah | 18 | The G-Eight Summit = I might meet thugs. |
10 | Rick | 12 | Medicinal marijuana = Um, I'd jail an American! |
11 | David Bourke | 9 | Today's referendum in Italy = Entry "truly one-sided" - Mafia. |
12 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 5 | Attack of the clone towns = That 'lack of contents' woe. |
12 | Hans-Peter Reich | 5 | The Confederations Cup = Ha, top soccer, fine-tuned. |
Total points: | 317 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.241) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 75 | The US astronaut Neil Alden Armstrong = Let's send this great man on a lunar tour! |
2 | View | 44 | Sir Lancelot and Guinevere = Intrigues can end real love. |
3 | Ellie | 40 | Arthur Conan Doyle = Canny older author. |
3 | Rosie Perera | 40 | Astronaut Sally Ride = Lure a lady into stars. |
5 | Don Rogers | 35 | Chairman Mao Zedong = Do one amazing march. |
6 | David Bourke | 29 | The tennis player Tim Henman = Permanently in the shit. Amen. |
7 | Adrian Hickford | 25 | Sprinter Asafa Powell = Flawless preparation. |
8 | Toby Gottfried | 15 | Franklin Delano Roosevelt = Er ... no voters like Alf Landon ? |
9 | zolrakk | 8 | Iron Mike Tyson = I merit K.O. sonny. |
10 | Tony Crafter | 7 | The missing Lord Lucan = This malign scoundrel. |
Total points: | 318 | from 53 votes (DFE factor: 0.189) |
1 | Rosie Perera | 69 | The Federal Witness Protection Program = Tattlers get new ID, car, sniper-proof home. |
2 | Tony Crafter | 54 | American Apollo Eleven Mission = Neil's moon leap is live on camera. |
3 | Toby Gottfried | 37 | The University of Western Ontario = These fine tutors in an ivory tower. |
4 | ofap | 31 | The Battle of Trafalgar = Beat that frog after all. |
4 | Ellie | 31 | The National Pollen and Aerobiology Res... = They planned an allergen cure, or abol... |
6 | zolrakk | 27 | National Weather Service = Their revelations can awe. |
7 | David Bourke | 26 | Daily Mail readers = "Dear dear! I *am* silly!" |
8 | View | 18 | The Federal Republic of Germany = Peaceful? Bad energy from Hitler! |
9 | Mey Kraus | 16 | Switzerland, Europe = Powers neutralized. |
10 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 9 | Eurodisney, Paris = Super noisier day. |
Total points: | 318 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.185) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 51 | Bonnie Parker & Clyde Barrow = Known pair declare: "Robbery!" |
2 | Tony Crafter | 48 | Donatien Alphonse Francois De Sade = Dreaded felon's an insane sociopath. (Awardsmaster's Choice Award) |
3 | zolrakk | 43 | Charles Manson = Conman, slasher... |
4 | Toby Gottfried | 36 | Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid = Cad duet did such canny bank heists. |
5 | David Bourke | 25 | Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer = Jolly fare...he fried men! |
5 | Ellie | 25 | Miss Borden = Morbidness. |
7 | Rosie Perera | 19 | Robert William Pickton = Portrait: I kill B.C. women. |
8 | Rick | 17 | Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid ~ can study, decide, hit banks and such. |
9 | Don Rogers | 14 | Mary E. Surrat = A sure martyr. |
10 | Larry Brash | 8 | Gary Leon Ridgway = Inwardly gay ogre. |
11 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 6 | Petros Anthia = Rapist on heat. |
Total points: | 292 | from 50 votes (DFE factor: 0.220) |
1 | Rick | 41 | Guilt ensures anguish of a tortured mind. |
2 | David A Green | 35 | Truth is, I dream of unsound genital urges. |
3 | Rosie Perera | 31 | And thus, listening, figure out our dreams! |
4 | Adrian Hickford | 29 | Useful diagnosis during treatment hour. |
5 | Larry Brash | 27 | Thus, I am uttering delusions of grandeur. |
6 | David Bourke | 25 | A genius audits enduring lust for mother. |
7 | Mey Kraus | 24 | Surgeon figures out the mind's natural 'Id'. |
7 | Toby Gottfried | 24 | As guru, I find out mothers underlie angst. |
9 | View | 20 | Understand that furious ego is ruling me. |
10 | Tony Crafter | 16 | Hunted lust as a true origin of mind-urges. |
11 | Ellie | 12 | Genius, or fraud? Man's to endure this guilt. |
11 | Don Rogers | 12 | That genius formulated during neurosis. |
13 | Mike Keith | 8 | Also urged drug-free human institutions. |
14 | Richard Brodie | 1 | Genius of tortured mind anguish, alter us. |
Total points: | 305 | from 52 votes (DFE factor: 0.269) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 62 | In regard to his social security plan, ... = He then burst into a manic laughter an... |
2 | Ellie | 41 | The evil that men do lives after them; t... = Grief! That implies that the Devil is s... |
3 | Tony Crafter | 38 | 'A single death is a tragedy; a million ... = This ga-ga Stalin lie indicates a moral... |
4 | Larry Brash | 24 | Cowards die many times before their dea... = The brave are deceased on that one tim... |
5 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 23 | "Why, I wouldn't sleep with you if you ... = I feel pity. These are not words you w... |
6 | David Bourke | 19 | The presenter of Countdown, Richard "Twi... = Weighty celebrity, renowned inept dunc... |
7 | Ernesto Guiraldes | 12 | Laurent Fabius, the Socialist party’s s... = France's top Militant soul embraces di... |
8 | Rick | 11 | Cowards die many times before their dea... = The brave fear not their own death; ... |
Total points: | 230 | from 41 votes (DFE factor: 0.195) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 94 | Top 20 picks of AFI's jury members for ... = Oh, a neat list of lines - but to eve... |
2 | Tony Crafter | 80 | Walking down the street, I saw a blind ... = A snobbish woman, walking down a stre... |
3 | Ellie | 34 | "The reasonable man adapts himself to t... = "Oh help! I'm a teapot!" Das ist, tr... |
Total points: | 208 | from 38 votes (DFE factor: 0.079) |
1 | Larry Brash | 63 | When I was a lad I served a term... |
2 | Mike Keith | 43 | 935,763-letter anagram of Moby Dick. |
3 | Mey Kraus | 31 | "To My Brother George" by John Keats |
4 | Dee4j | 25 | "Let's Dance" by David Bowie |
5 | Tony Crafter | 19 | PERFORMER-DUO LIMERICKS |
6 | Don Fortier | 8 | Don's Observation |
Total points: | 189 | from 33 votes (DFE factor: 0.182) |
1 | Rick | 43 | A problem getting an erection = Met girl... Nope! I can't get a boner. |
2 | ofap | 40 | Topless waitresses = We possess real tits! |
3 | LR | 31 | Masturbation = To burst a main. |
4 | zolrakk | 30 | Pass gas = Ass-gasp. |
4 | Tony Crafter | 30 | Having an erection = Ten-inch Viagra one! |
6 | Mey Kraus | 25 | Lawless women ~ swallow semen. |
7 | Deano | 18 | Playing with himself ~ his white palm flying! |
8 | David Bourke | 6 | The Austrian neurologist, Sigmund Freud = Guru of unhinged turd Alanis Morissette |
9 | The Waiter | 0 | Tits are waiting for men's dicks = We cast sign, it's time for a drink. |
Total points: | 223 | from 39 votes (DFE factor: 0.231) |
Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award Points*
*Adjusted Points = Sum of (Points * 'DFE factor') |
High Standings
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