1 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 57 | A nasty derailment ~ meant train delays. |
2 | Ellie | 45 | Life's too short = Foolish to rest? |
3 | Mey Kraus | 39 | Signboard = Boring ads. |
4 | Rosie Perera | 30 | The plastic surgeons ~ cut noses, gather lips. |
4 | Toby Gottfried | 30 | Elementary school = Hey, come learn lots! |
6 | Adrian Hickford | 29 | A mind is a terrible thing to waste = I'm letting a brain die - that's worse! |
7 | David Bourke | 23 | Subliminal media advertising = Ad ritual: Invisible mindgames. |
8 | Tony Crafter | 20 | Television ads ~ do invite sales. |
9 | Larry Brash | 19 | Racial stereotyping = In large part... Society. |
10 | Jesse Frankovich | 14 | The profession of criminal justice = Prisoners I cuff come into the jails. |
11 | Matthew O'Dempsey | 10 | Clean teeth dream = Dental care theme. |
12 | Zoran Radisavlevic | 6 | Monkey business = Seems noisy bunk. |
13 | Rick | 5 | Art & Biology = Obligatory. |
14 | aussie battler | 4 | Nightmarish = Harm in sight. |
15 | View | 2 | Carte blanche = Cancel the bar. |
15 | Hans-Peter Reich | 2 | Eavesdropping = Depraving pose. |
Total points: | 335 | from 57 votes (DFE factor: 0.281) |
1 | David Bourke | 61 | The American singer Sheryl Crow = Why Lance Armstrong is cheerier |
2 | Ellie | 53 | "Shaken, not stirred" = The star's one drink. |
3 | View | 39 | '...and they lived happily ever after' = Delivered that very happy finale |
4 | Larry Brash | 33 | English film director, Alfred Hitchcock = The rich Lord of crime flicks can delight. |
5 | Rosie Perera | 24 | Megabucks Lottery = Lucky bettors' game. |
6 | Adrian Hickford | 21 | Renault's World Champion, Fernando Alonso = Spaniard handles control, won Formula One! |
7 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 20 | When The Saints Go Marching In = Christ went on high; I sang amen. |
8 | Tony Crafter | 19 | Lady Chatterley's Lover is a renowned ~ D.H. Lawrence novel. Style is rare today. |
9 | Hans-Peter Reich | 15 | Bram Stoker's "Dracula" = Bat rules, drama rocks! |
10 | Mey Kraus | 13 | The Sidney Lumet film 'Twelve Angry Men' = Eleven will deny my argument fits them. |
10 | aussie battler | 13 | 'War and Peace' by Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy ~ is a nice black two-ply novel - heavy to read. |
10 | David A Green | 13 | 'The Adventures of Pinocchio' by Carlo Collodi = Catch nose inch out if poor carved boy lied. LOL! |
13 | Toby Gottfried | 8 | The Towering Inferno = Won't ignore fire, then ? |
Total points: | 332 | from 56 votes (DFE factor: 0.232) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 42 | Britain's 'New Labour' Government = Blair's vow? Reign on at Number Ten! |
2 | Jesse Frankovich | 37 | The New Orleans disaster = Water rose in these lands. |
3 | Rick | 35 | New Orleans ‡ No real news. |
4 | Mey Kraus | 34 | FEMA director Michael D. Brown resigns = Critics from New Orleans badgered him. |
5 | Scott Gardner | 33 | Undersecretary Michael Dewayne Brown = Watched my career ruined by New Orleans. (Awardsmaster's Choice Award) |
6 | David Bourke | 29 | Simon Wiesenthal, rest in peace = Help! Anti-Semites now increase! |
7 | Patricia Leclerc | 24 | President Bush in Louisiana = In ruins. (P.S.: He is unable to aid.) |
8 | Toby Gottfried | 20 | House Majority Leader Tom Delay was ind... = "Do a crime, do the time" -- duly send... |
8 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 20 | Education, Education, Education = A cute idea, idiot - count on a dunce. |
10 | Don Rogers | 15 | Chief Justice Roberts = Refuse Christ? I object! |
11 | Ellie | 14 | President Bush in Louisiana = So, his pain, is it unendurable? |
12 | Rosie Perera | 12 | Afghan election ‡ Not a life-change. |
13 | Larry Brash | 7 | Bird flu strikes Indonesia = In end, doubts if risk is real. |
14 | View | 4 | The aftermath of Katrina = Take that hat off, mariner! |
Total points: | 326 | from 56 votes (DFE factor: 0.250) |
1 | Ellie | 73 | His Royal Highness, Charles, Prince of Wales = See which rich English Royal son flaps ears! |
2 | Mey Kraus | 54 | Mister Hyde = Yes, I'm the Dr.! |
3 | View | 39 | The Gambino family = Might be Mafia only. |
4 | Paul Pan | 36 | Szymon Wiesenthal = Who nets sly Nazi? Me! |
5 | Larry Brash | 19 | Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, ... = Jesus... the most perfect true choice f... |
6 | Dee4j | 17 | Don Adams = A man's odd! |
7 | aussie battler | 16 | Stallone as 'Rocky' ~ can sell a K.O. story. |
7 | Toby Gottfried | 16 | General Dwight David Eisenhower = In the World War he is egged, "Invade!" |
9 | David Bourke | 14 | Michael Goodall Watson = A well-mad hooligan Scot. |
10 | Don Rogers | 13 | The Reverend Louis Farrakhan ~ rehashed virulent Koran fear. |
11 | Rosie Perera | 12 | The Holocaust survivor Simon Wiesenthal = Semite son: "I vow to hunt cruel Shoah rivals." |
12 | Adrian Hickford | 10 | Gordon Ramsay = Mad, or so angry! |
13 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 5 | Bunnatine Greenhouse = Unsung heroine beaten. |
14 | Tony Crafter | 3 | Retif de la Bretonne = Feet-biter and loner. |
Total points: | 327 | from 56 votes (DFE factor: 0.250) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 45 | The Snowdon Mountain Railway Ride = I do mean a windy tour in North Wales. |
2 | David Bourke | 36 | The Federation of Bakers = I often eat fresh bread, OK! |
2 | Toby Gottfried | 36 | Charles de Gaulle International Airport = To reach Paris/Rouen/Lille: land, get a train. |
4 | Mey Kraus | 30 | The City of New Orleans = Fine weather? No, costly. |
4 | Rick | 30 | The Simon Wiesenthal Center = One theme's "Hitler wasn't nice!" |
6 | Adrian Hickford | 26 | Anagram Artist (Version Three) by Mike Keith = The aim: verb rearrangement. This kit is okay. |
7 | View | 20 | The magnificent pyramid of Cheops = Nice empty midget Pharaohs' coffin. |
8 | Ellie | 19 | America's "The Statue of Liberty" = I see that symbolic art feature. |
9 | Larry Brash | 14 | The Department of Public Prosecutions = Upon theft, to probe suspected criminal. |
10 | Rosie Perera | 13 | Snowdonia National Park = I walk on a road past no inn. |
10 | aussie battler | 13 | The Samurai ‡ Amateurish! |
10 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 13 | Melaleuca Alternifolia = I meant a leaf oil cure-all. |
Total points: | 295 | from 51 votes (DFE factor: 0.235) |
1 | Adrian Hickford | 63 | "Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Toleran... = Bet proven author's style can train us ... |
2 | Larry Brash | 51 | The difference between literature and j... = It's true! Wilde ended in a terrible, ... |
3 | Tony Crafter | 47 | Sir Arnold Bax said (sort of!): "One sh... ~ unicycling; any sort of shellfish; Rot... |
4 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 41 | 'Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend' by M... = I'm randy. I'd marry bin Laden for some... |
5 | David Bourke | 25 | The hit single "Ebony and Ivory" by Ste... = Yes, that blind coon and very, very ri... |
6 | Rick | 21 | The indicted Republican House Majority ... = Lie? Then the public-minded Democrats ... |
7 | Ellie | 15 | "We look forward to hearing your vision,... = Hi! I'm just a cowboy. I love God. But... |
8 | Rosie Perera | 13 | "Patriotism is the last refuge of a sco... = Jihad (one unpeaceful slog) is the las... |
9 | View | 11 | The workers have nothing to lose but the... = Labourers, after chains withdrew, they ... |
Total points: | 287 | from 49 votes (DFE factor: 0.184) |
1 | Cory Calhoun | 71 | I, George W. Bush, an evil Republican fascist, used God to inflict pain on the world, end life, faci... |
2 | Larry Brash | 37 | I'll always eat McDonalds, elect Bush, own fifteen guns (in total), join the N.R.A, protect Israel,... |
3 | Tony Crafter | 33 | I, Tony Blair, pledge allegiance to the President, Bush, and attest that, if directed, I will: act ... |
4 | Mey Kraus | 29 | Idiot George A jab of a nice, valiant student Baffled all with a tone so imprudent: "I can safely r... |
5 | Rosie Perera | 22 | I help other countries solve their own problems; I detain drug addicts in jail, indulge the affluen... |
6 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 20 | Though I'm not sure I believe all that. It's not as if we enjoy protection (see disgrace left at Ne... |
6 | Toby Gottfried | 20 | Friends, I daily fail to believe how a once-great nation did fall from grace, and half-elect as Pre... |
8 | Richard Brodie | 10 | Of liberties once in "Tea? Cast it!" Spring We free of courted leagues in hope could sing; That b... |
8 | Adrian Hickford | 10 | "I do hereby state that I will often initiate sale of arms; both support and defend all conflict; an... |
8 | View | 10 | Hi. I'm a bigot. I can't stand all the different races in the land -- Negros, Jews, Yellows, Latinos... |
11 | David Bourke | 8 | I'd prefer allegiance, though, to bin Laden, terrorists left in Guantanamo Bay, violence, world co... |
12 | Ellie | 7 | I, George Bush, confirmed patriot, gotta hold on to big oil fields. In defence, I can use force. I... |
13 | Krudmonger | 5 | Hi. Can't Democrats and Republicans get along fine? If I doubt it, why fib? Please treat ideological... |
14 | Dee4j | 4 | We promise to fight Talibanic judges who see "under God" unconstitutional : their effort to denigra... |
14 | Paul Pan | 4 | G. W. Bush: I taunt the state, and fail to blush; Condi Rice: Hottest neocon bigot, I entice; Ric... |
16 | Don Rogers | 1 | I'll be faithful to death, write to the Tribune editor, cheer each sporting deed while succeeding, ... |
17 | Hans-Peter Reich | 0 | "No. I salute financial wealth (but not if it gains for the negroid people), fat clinics, this bat... |
Total points: | 291 | from 49 votes (DFE factor: 0.347) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 64 | A man in a supermarket line sees that a ... = It was a bleak Monday morning and the ... |
2 | Mey Kraus | 55 | House of the Rising Sun (traditional ve... = New Orleans: A reply By God Let me... |
3 | Larry Brash | 44 | An elderly woman has been admitted to a... = A lady of mature years consults her f... |
4 | Ellie | 25 | MORNING POEM I woke early one mornin... = MORE IMAGERY Once, a very poor woman... |
5 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 16 | "When the Tories tell you the next elect... = When I say renew, Tony must expect to ... |
6 | Rosie Perera | 15 | WHAT DO YOU WANT? Well, I was told o... = Whose castle is this? ... I don't ... |
7 | David Bourke | 9 | WHAT DO YOU WANT? Well, I was told o... = What do you want, mate? - Well, I w... |
Total points: | 228 | from 40 votes (DFE factor: 0.175) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 65 | Two anagrams of a sonnet by Wilde |
2 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 59 | Blowin' in the wind by Bob Dylan |
3 | Ellie | 37 | The Children's Bill of Rights |
4 | Tony Crafter | 18 | Old Friends (Simon and Garfunkel) |
5 | David Bourke | 15 | There is a house in New Orleans |
5 | Richard Brodie | 15 | Yes! No! |
7 | Rosie Perera | 14 | The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) by Simon & Garfunkel |
Total points: | 223 | from 38 votes (DFE factor: 0.184) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 48 | The act of masturbation = Ain't that a burst of come? |
2 | Adrian Hickford | 39 | See 'Hymen Reconstruction' = Thus, restore my innocence. |
3 | View | 35 | With no panties ~ I want hot penis. |
4 | David Bourke | 31 | An enormous tadger = A tremendous organ! |
5 | Rick | 27 | Precoital Stimulation= I put oscillator in mate. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 26 | Spilt semen = Spent slime. |
7 | Zoran Radisavlevic | 13 | Latex fetish = That sex life. |
7 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 13 | Ms Katie Price = I'm prick tease. |
9 | Paul Pan | 11 | Vaginally rid ~ virginal lady. |
10 | Rik | 8 | Bulging penis ~ begins plug-in. |
11 | aussie battler | 7 | Fabrication = A bionic fart. |
Total points: | 258 | from 45 votes (DFE factor: 0.244) |
Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award Points*
*Adjusted Points = Sum of (Points * 'DFE factor') |
High Standings
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