| GENERAL | ENTERTAINMENT | TOPICAL | PEOPLES NAMES | OTHER NAMES |
| MEDIUM LENGTH | LONG | SPECIAL | RUDE |
1 | Mey Kraus | 28 | Sumo tournaments = Enormous mutants! |
2 | Tony Crafter | 27 | My real vision? Beating the Germans! = Every Englishman's great ambition. |
3 | Andrew | 21 | A watched pot never boils = Observe the cold pan....wait! |
4 | Scott Gardner | 20 | Google search for "miserable failure" = Is a life career of a Mr. George Bush! LOL! |
4 | Rick | 20 | The girl of your dreams = Lot of guys married her. |
6 | David Bourke | 17 | The girl of your dreams ‡ Horrid, gruesomely fat. |
7 | Don Rogers | 16 | Why a dentist took me: ~ to yank wisdom teeth. |
8 | Toby Gottfried | 13 | Man does not live by bread alone = Not loaves and money - read Bible. |
8 | Larry Brash | 13 | He is a woman trapped in a man's body = My wish to appear as Madonna, in bed. |
10 | Ellie | 12 | Military machine = The inimical army. |
11 | Rosie Perera | 10 | The genocidal maniac = One acclaiming death. |
11 | Adrian Hickford | 10 | A loft conversion = Novel roof antics. |
13 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 7 | Not very poor ~ or no poverty. |
13 | View | 7 | The girl of your dreams = Must glorify & adore her. |
15 | Paul Pan | 6 | 'Arbeit macht frei' = March, bitte! ( I fear...) |
15 | aussie battler | 6 | Wed, for love ~ overflowed. |
17 | Zoran Radisavlevic | 4 | The insole = Let in shoe! |
Total points: | 237 | from 40 votes (DFE factor: 0.425) |
1 | Scott Gardner | 47 | The Da Vinci Code: Special Illustrated Edition = Anti-Catholic? Loved detailed pictures inside! |
2 | Tony Crafter | 45 | Motion picture: 'One Flew Over The Cuck... = We've electroshock option on menu to c... |
3 | Ellie | 33 | Kate Bush: 'Wuthering Heights' = Sang her best with huge UK hit. (Awardsmaster's Choice Award) |
4 | David Bourke | 20 | The American singer Cher = Screecher in a nightmare! |
5 | Mey Kraus | 17 | The US detective fiction author Dan Brown = Written about the hunter of Da Vinci's code. |
5 | Rosie Perera | 17 | Bannister's four-minute mile = Note: I'm nimble. I sure run fast! |
5 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 17 | May The Force Be With You ‡ My cute father, who I obey. |
8 | View | 14 | The Coldplay singer Chris Martin = Crap lines, rhythm...I ignore last CD! |
9 | Rick | 12 | The singer Kate Bush = Hearing the UK's best. |
10 | Don Rogers | 6 | SoDarkTheConOfMan.com = A con? From Tom Hanks' "Code". |
Total points: | 228 | from 39 votes (DFE factor: 0.256) |
1 | David Bourke | 49 | The Spanish team Barcelona = The champions beat Arsenal. |
2 | Don Rogers | 30 | Genocide in Darfur = Did foreign UN care? |
3 | Rick | 29 | Mount Merapi, Central Java, Indonesia = Lava eruption means a major incident. |
4 | View | 25 | Mother's day cards = Cross my heart, Dad. |
5 | Ellie | 16 | Indonesia's volcano, Mount Merapi = Poisonous core ... and lava imminent. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 14 | Tony Blair and his deputy John Prescott = Philanderer’s duty? Stay in topnotch job! |
6 | Mey Kraus | 14 | Singer Taylor Hicks, American Idol's winner = A near-horrid selection - my skin is crawling! |
6 | Larry Brash | 14 | Mount Merapi, Indonesia ~ as I'm in an eruption mode. |
6 | Amir | 14 | Three dollars a gallon = Grand looter a la Shell. |
10 | Toby Gottfried | 12 | The late Edouard Michelin = Oh hell - a cute tire man died. |
11 | Andrew | 8 | Lives lost in Indonesian earthquake = Evil rose - quiet island nation shaken. |
12 | Rosie Perera | 3 | Libya dropped from list of terror sponsors = Poor land's bold reforms -- it's for prosperity! |
Total points: | 228 | from 39 votes (DFE factor: 0.308) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 66 | Screen icon Fred Astaire = One's dances are terrific! |
2 | View | 35 | Princess Stephanie Of Monaco = In casino, perhaps? Comes often! |
3 | Tony Crafter | 30 | Footballing star Ronaldinho = Brilliant on goal, and so forth. |
4 | Paul Pan | 21 | Adolf Hitler = "Hailed?" ROTFL! |
4 | Amir | 21 | The Bolivian President Evo Morales = Note: A Bolshevist vermin reaped oil. |
6 | Ellie | 17 | Author William Sydney Porter, ~ as 'O. Henry', may write lurid plot. |
7 | David Bourke | 10 | The Green MEP Caroline Lucas = Choice gentleman pleasurer! |
8 | Rosie Perera | 6 | Adolf Hitler = "I fell. Oh, drat!" |
9 | Rick | 4 | The actress Julia Roberts, ~ "That role's subject is rare." |
Total points: | 210 | from 38 votes (DFE factor: 0.237) |
1 | Rick | 42 | The Church of Scientology = Goofy cult cons the rich, eh? |
2 | Tony Crafter | 40 | Disney Theme Park Resorts, Florida = Kids, parents, mostly here for a ride. |
3 | Paul Pan | 33 | Serbia-Montenegro = Merge, or be nations? |
4 | Scott Gardner | 21 | Special illustrated Edition = All pictures so detailed in it! |
5 | Don Rogers | 20 | The National Security Agency = Act your age! (They can listen in.) |
6 | Mey Kraus | 17 | The Mcdonald's Filet-O-Fish = This minced fast-food hell. |
7 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 12 | Daily Telegraph = A deep-Right ally. |
8 | Toby Gottfried | 11 | The Association for Computing Machinery = Microsoft aim: Announce price to stay high. |
8 | David Bourke | 11 | The Labour Cabinet = Blair, can't he be out? |
10 | View | 9 | The apartheid = Hit, rape, death. |
10 | Rosie Perera | 9 | Borderline Personality Disorder ‡ Ordinary old terrible depression. |
12 | Larry Brash | 8 | South Africa's former Apartheid System = It's death here for party's famous racism. |
Total points: | 233 | from 40 votes (DFE factor: 0.300) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 44 | Miss Keira Knightley to be The New Face ... = Nice, gentle, wholesome choice. Man, I ... |
1 | Mey Kraus | 44 | A Gary Griffin book, 'Penis Enlargement ... = One fraud by a hack tells the men to fi... |
3 | Rosie Perera | 38 | "Genius is one percent inspiration and ... = Our president, opining: "Idiocy is one... |
4 | David Bourke | 35 | Sir Paul McCartney, the former lead sin... = Miser buggered...partner Heather to em... |
5 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 21 | Our server was out of action for 24 hou... = O! Poor, vexatious situation. No help... |
6 | View | 17 | 'Be fruitful,and multiply,and replenish ... = Human, fill this planet further. Reputa... |
Total points: | 199 | from 37 votes (DFE factor: 0.162) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 59 | After having their ninth child, a Brummy... = A married couple are motoring along at... |
2 | Rosie Perera | 35 | Within the first three months of the ye... = Leno mainly scoffs at the idiot. Beho... |
2 | David Bourke | 35 | The former singer of The Beatles, Sir P... = The geriatric performer fears she may... |
4 | Mey Kraus | 33 | Selected 'Mission: Impossible III' triv... = More little-known trivia from this mo... |
Total points: | 162 | from 30 votes (DFE factor: 0.133) |
1 | David Bourke | 67 | 80 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Queen Elizabeth. |
2 | Mey Kraus | 28 | The Peace Proposal (From Shel Silverstein's 'Where The Sidewalk Ends'). |
3 | David Bourke | 23 | Monday's child. |
4 | Tony Crafter | 21 | We are family. |
5 | Rosie Perera | 10 | The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. |
6 | David Bourke | 7 | The Miner's Prayer. |
Total points: | 156 | from 27 votes (DFE factor: 0.222) |
1 | Rick | 41 | Use a personal lubricant... = Rubs it on pleasure canal. |
2 | Tony Crafter | 30 | He: "Do you spit, or swallow?" She: "N... = Oral option how a girl deals with guy'... |
2 | Mey Kraus | 30 | Lack of inches = An elfish cock. |
4 | Larry Brash | 27 | The Microsoft Corporation = A promotion of shit? Correct! |
5 | View | 20 | "I love you my darling" = Oily move during lay. |
6 | Paul Pan | 14 | Sir Paul McCartney = A real scrimpy cunt! |
7 | David Bourke | 10 | Keira Christina Knightley = Tight knickers, a hairy line! |
8 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 9 | Hiss and spit = Piss and shit. |
Total points: | 181 | from 32 votes (DFE factor: 0.250) |
Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award Points*
*Adjusted Points = Sum of (Points * 'DFE factor') |
High Standings
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