1 | Andrew | 50 | Metamorphosis = Promises a moth. |
2 | Tony Crafter | 43 | The animal psychologist = "That pig is so melancholy". |
3 | aussie battler | 29 | Pirouettes = Utter poise. |
4 | Larry Brash | 19 | Misrepresentation = It's a minor pretense. |
4 | Mey Kraus | 19 | Antisocial behaviour = Obvious in racial hate. |
6 | Rosie Perera | 16 | The fingernails = Fine girl has ten. |
7 | Rick | 14 | Feminine care products = Um, I prefer no accidents. |
8 | View | 13 | A night to remember = The big rare moment. |
9 | Toby Gottfried | 7 | I cannot detour cars round ~ a road under construction. |
9 | David Bourke | 7 | The absolute beginner = Not blue...he's a bit green! |
11 | Hans-Peter Reich | 5 | Weather predictions = The crew posited rain. |
11 | Ellie | 5 | The lavish illustration = That is one visual thrill. |
13 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 3 | The good Samaritan = Go to man's aid, heart! |
14 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 0 | Manifesto = I'm not safe! |
| | Total points: | 230 | from 39 votes (DFE factor: 0.359) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 39 | Zinedine Zidane gets a red card in the World Cup Final = Italians win, French cried, and legend Zizou departed. |
1 | Scott Gardner | 39 | Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam" = Am on a ceiling of some cathedral. |
3 | Andrew | 32 | The immortal shower scene in Psycho = She's in the motel, chap comes in. Worry! |
4 | Toby Gottfried | 27 | "Murder on the Orient Express" by Agatha Christie = Bring Poirot - he sure can stymie her extra deaths. |
5 | Rosie Perera | 24 | T.S. Eliot's poetry = It's pretty loose. |
6 | Mey Kraus | 20 | The sonnets by William Shakespeare = Why "He's a brilliant poet" makes sense. |
7 | David Bourke | 16 | The England football team manager Steve McClaren = "After bald gentleman Sven-Goran, the call came to me". |
8 | Ellie | 13 | Salvador Dali's painting: 'The Persistence of Memory' = See time melt: Spaniard yields proof on canvas, right? |
8 | Larry Brash | 13 | Salvador Dali's painting: 'The Persistence of Memory' = So, art fans love his darn melting time-pieces parody? |
10 | View | 11 | 'Murder on the Orient Express' by Agatha Christie = Examine it. It's death, horror, passenger butchery. |
11 | David A Green | 4 | 'Howl and Other Poems' by Allen Ginsberg = One angry bald poet who's smelling herb. |
| | Total points: | 238 | from 40 votes (DFE factor: 0.275) |
1 | David Bourke | 34 | Sir Paul McCartney files for divorce from Heather = Too-rich Liverpudlian's free from a crafty schemer! |
2 | Mey Kraus | 26 | Three Israeli soldiers are captured = There's a prelude to a real dire crisis... |
2 | Rosie Perera | 26 | Israel attacks Lebanon = One state can kill Arabs. (Awardsmaster's Choice Award) |
4 | Andrew | 21 | The Middle East Peace Process = Scheme is dead - people scatter. |
5 | Adrian Hickford | 20 | Tour de France victor Floyd Landis = An old favorite cycled round first. |
5 | View | 20 | The World cup finals in Germany = Grumpy French led, Italians won. |
7 | Duvanna | 19 | Americans = Main scare. |
8 | Ellie | 17 | United States and North Korea = NO to nuke threat... and disaster. |
9 | Larry Brash | 12 | The World Cup Finals in Germany = Italy pinch Germans. Wonderful! |
10 | Rick | 11 | The Israeli attacks on Lebanon = A blanket retaliation's chosen. |
11 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 10 | The World cup finals in Germany = French deny Portugal: a slim win. |
12 | Tony Crafter | 7 | North Korea launches a long-range missile = Gosh! Rogue shell rankles American nation. |
12 | Dee4j | 7 | North Korea missiles = So real risk is on *them*. |
14 | Toby Gottfried | 0 | Wimbledon Men's Champion, Roger Federer ~ cries, "Form impeded 'hombre' on green lawn." |
| | Total points: | 230 | from 39 votes (DFE factor: 0.359) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 59 | Leader of the British Labour Party = Blair, the toady lap-terrier of Bush. |
2 | Tony Crafter | 34 | The Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud = Anguish? That's purely a dream's dysfunction. |
3 | Larry Brash | 27 | Named His very best girl ~ The Blessed Virgin Mary. |
4 | View | 26 | The actress Meryl Streep = Respect her master style. |
5 | Paul Pan | 19 | Roger Keith "Syd" Barrett of Pink Floyd = King of freaky red-hot Brit LSD poetry. |
5 | David Bourke | 19 | The Inter Milan and Italy defender Marco Materazzi = Torment Zinedine Zidane rather dramatically...fame! |
7 | Rick | 12 | Tony Blair's leadership ‡ So sharp-eyed, brilliant. |
7 | Ellie | 12 | Leon Trotsky (Lev Davidovich Bronstein) = And Bolsheviks revolt to end in victory. |
9 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 8 | Remington Steele = Gent's not mere lie? |
10 | Rosie Perera | 7 | Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo = I'm a blaspheming Moonie churl. |
| | Total points: | 223 | from 39 votes (DFE factor: 0.256) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 31 | The Vatican Observatory = Vicar, note thy star above! |
2 | David Bourke | 27 | The Berlin Olympiastadion = Played on Hitler's ambition. |
3 | Andrew | 22 | German Measles ‡ A nameless germ. |
3 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 22 | Associated Newspapers limited = Data's a mess. We print copied lies. |
5 | Rosie Perera | 21 | Commission for Assistance to a Free Cuba = America's mission: oust Castro; nab coffee. |
6 | Hans-Peter Reich | 20 | The Cigarette and Tobacco industry = O, they tried casting doubt at cancer. |
7 | Larry Brash | 18 | Australian Institute of Travel and Tourism = Let's admit visitors into true natural fauna. |
7 | Rick | 18 | The Lebanon Tourist Board ~ to bar Israel then, no doubt. |
9 | View | 13 | Hyundai Entourage = Genuine hardy auto. |
10 | Ellie | 11 | Tesco Total Care Coolmint Stripe Toothpaste = So, a cool smile attracts top teeth protection. |
11 | Tony Crafter | 5 | Master Builders Federation = Trader met rules. Is bona fide. |
12 | Toby Gottfried | 0 | The Lawn Tennis Championships at Wimbledon = Men win match when sad topspin lob hits a line. |
| | Total points: | 208 | from 37 votes (DFE factor: 0.324) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 60 | "That's one small step for man; one giant leap ... = Note an immortal phrase, spoken after gallant ... |
2 | David Bourke | 40 | Dan Quayle: "I believe we are on an irreversibl... = A quote even fellow bonehead Dubya (a decided ... |
3 | Mey Kraus | 39 | 'One Thousand Places to See Before You Die', an ... = Hey, it includes treasures to tour abroad, lik... |
4 | Larry Brash | 36 | In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as mo... = Bush does not meet this simple adage. He's one... |
5 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 25 | My mama always said "Life is like a box of choc... = I always gave a frank comeback the same riotou... |
6 | Rosie Perera | 8 | Microsoft's new "Zune" music and entertainment player = Rant: Immense enemy can't waltz in on iPod's secure turf! |
7 | Ellie | 4 | The Wimbledon Championships Men's Singles Final... = More cheering from green lawns: all see them l... |
| | Total points: | 212 | from 36 votes (DFE factor: 0.194) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 62 | A middle-aged couple had two very beautiful dau... = A married man had been having a wild affair w... |
2 | Mey Kraus | 53 | The 'American Book Review' folks had honored th... = As I love to roam inconceivably vile fiction,... |
3 | David Bourke | 30 | "If an infinite number of monkeys randomly hit t... = If President Bush spoke for an infinite amoun... |
4 | Larry Brash | 21 | Neil Armstrong, Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin, Charles "P... = Just a dozen rather amazing NASA astronauts c... |
5 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 11 | If given the choice, always take the elevator i... = Fat people accept their assessment "catch the... |
6 | Rosie Perera | 2 | The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, pa... = The trespasses that evil chiefs (still in off... |
| | Total points: | 179 | from 31 votes (DFE factor: 0.194) |
1 | David Bourke | 46 | 
|
2 | Tony Crafter | 39 | Rude searching of prostate = A doctor's finger up the arse. |
3 | Rick | 27 | A sixteen-year-old girl = Sex? No, I rarely get laid. |
4 | Andrew | 15 | This penis enlarger ~ ripens her genitals. |
5 | Larry Brash | 12 | So...want to come up to my place for coffee, eh? = Hope was to effect a ploy for me to cum once. |
6 | View | 11 | A night to remember = Her membrane? Got it! |
7 | Mey Kraus | 10 | The inflatable doll = Hole and it'll be flat! |
8 | ofap | 5 | Voiding the bowels = We loved shit in bog. |
9 | Paul Pan | 4 | Girl antic = A clit ring. |
| | Total points: | 169 | from 30 votes (DFE factor: 0.300) |