| GENERAL | ENTERTAINMENT | TOPICAL | PEOPLES NAMES | OTHER NAMES |
| MEDIUM LENGTH | LONG | SPECIAL | RUDE |
1 | Jesse Frankovich | 48 | Fine print at the bottom = Often the important bit! |
2 | Julian Lofts | 31 | The cardiac surgeon = A heart-rescuing doc! |
3 | Rick Rothstein | 30 | There is lot of pain and hate ~ at the end of a relationship. |
4 | Rob Bretveld | 23 | Deceptive subliminal advertising = Te... |
5 | Jesse Frankovich | 22 | The political system = Mostly pathetic lies. |
6 | Christopher Sturdy | 17 | I'm not scared = I don't scream. |
7 | Rick Rothstein | 16 | The political leaders= Replace all the idiots. |
8 | Mark Huffman | 11 | Transgenderism= Mr. Gent-in-a-dress. |
9 | Adie Pena | 7 | Dangerous obesity = One boy's sugar diet. |
10 | Tony Crafter | 5 | The impulsive disorder 'trichotillomania' = Loose-minded victims rip all their hair out. |
11 | Jesse Frankovich | 4 | The cigar consumer = Cancer sure got him. |
12 | Jason Lofts | 2 | Breast augmentation procedure = Treated, I get an enormous bra cup. |
Total points: | 216 | from 36 votes |
1 | Tony Crafter | 57 | The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde = How incredibly your portrait's face aged! |
2 | Tony Crafter | 48 | Pierre-Auguste Renoir - 'Luncheon of the Boating Party' = An utterly bourgeois French group eat in the open air. |
3 | Larry Brash | 23 | Crime Scene Investigation = Nice enigmatic series on TV. |
4 | Jesse Frankovich | 21 | The top women's professional tennis player = Serena Williams oft preys on the opponents. |
5 | David Bourke | 20 | The guitarist Peter Townshend = Interesting...started up The Who. |
6 | Jason Lofts | 16 | Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards = Shrill geriatric into drugs takes no shit. |
7 | Scott Gardner | 12 | The Most Valuable Player = "Alpha male" result by vote. |
8 | Julian Lofts | 10 | "Sweet Freedom: A Devotional" by Sarah Palin = Leader of Tea Party has no enviable wisdom. |
9 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 9 | The Miss USA Pageant = Man gapes at tushies. |
Total points: | 216 | from 36 votes |
1 | Scott Gardner | 30 | The Russian foreign policy = Helping out forces in Syria. |
2 | Ellie Dent | 29 | American gun deaths = Mind the carnage, USA! |
3 | Tony Crafter | 25 | Donald Trump is to run for President of the USA = Note: I'd for sure not support this dreadful man! |
4 | Ellie Dent | 22 | The carnage in Paris = Heart-searing panic. |
5 | David Bourke | 21 | Daily Mail readership mainly consists of ~ hysterically-impaired fools and simians. |
6 | Christopher Sturdy | 17 | Trump's position... ~ it's opportunism! |
7 | Jesse Frankovich | 15 | Senate Republicans = True incapableness. |
8 | Jesse Frankovich | 12 | Caliphate doing evil = A chilling videotape. |
8 | nedesto | 12 | "Away in a manger, no crib for his bed" = We sing in a choir for Mary and babe. |
10 | Scott Gardner | 11 | GOP presidential candidates = A disappointing set declared. |
10 | Rosie Perera | 11 | Mitt Romney bows out = Bye to U.S. Mormon twit. |
12 | Rick Rothstein | 7 | Iran's nuclear program = An alarming precursor. |
13 | Adie Pena | 3 | Police brutality in America = I ruin a place -- Baltimore City! |
Total points: | 215 | from 36 votes |
1 | Rosie Perera | 48 | Business mogul Donald Trump = Dumbass on multiple grounds. |
2 | David Bourke | 42 | Late actor Leonard Simon Nimoy ('Spock' in Star Trek) = In control, lacks emotions, trademark pointy ears! |
3 | Jason Lofts | 31 | Thomas Cruise Mapother IV = He triumphs as movie actor. |
4 | Dharam Khalsa | 26 | US Presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton = Emails and political innuendo hardly distract her. |
5 | Scott Gardner | 22 | Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch = That much-noted romantic BBC celebrity. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 18 | The suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst = Puts the argument: "Think free, females!" |
7 | Jesse Frankovich | 11 | Author Christopher E. Hitchens = Atheist hero; he isn't pro-church. |
8 | Jesse Frankovich | 9 | The Republican Donald Trump = A rich, pampered, blunt old nut! |
Total points: | 207 | from 35 votes |
1 | Julian Lofts | 33 | The Shroud of Turin = Undershirt of Thou. |
2 | Adie Pena | 31 | United States of America = Can't our team defeat ISIS? |
3 | Jesse Frankovich | 29 | The Republicans = Buncha reptiles! |
4 | Jesse Frankovich | 22 | The Middle Eastern region = Religion's demented heart. |
4 | Tony Crafter | 22 | The Presidential White House, Washington DC, America = This residence has a man with huge power located in it. |
6 | Adie Pena | 20 | Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion = He has an orgy of nubile nymphs! |
6 | Tony Crafter | 20 | The London Trainspotters Association = Loco nerds that position near stations. |
8 | John Ramos | 11 | Death Valley, California = I fry in a lava-coated hell. |
8 | Jesse Frankovich | 11 | The State of California= Noise, heat, traffic... a lot! |
10 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 9 | The National Rifle Association = I act as annihilator to one's life. |
11 | Adie Pena | 1 | The San Andreas Fault, California= All found it isn't a safe ranch area. |
Total points: | 209 | from 35 votes |
1 | Tony Crafter | 41 | A lone VIP tourist is coming into Athens city ai... = "Nationality?" "I am German." "Occupation?" Cus... |
2 | nedesto | 27 | AFI's list of top five greatest movies of all ti... = 1. That epic O'Toole war film 2. Heston wins th... |
3 | Tony Crafter | 26 | Woman (by bus stop with son, 5 years old): "When... ~ I won't have to pay your fare." The bus comes i... |
4 | Tony Crafter | 19 | THE SIX GREATEST PAINTERS OF ALL TIME 1. Leonard... = 1. An inventor too. 2. Painted 'Cafe Terrace at... |
5 | Jesse Frankovich | 14 | Egad! So the other day I sure was surprised, bea... = I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Woul... |
6 | Ellie Dent | 13 | Mary May, a blonde, went to a store. 'I'd like t... ~ and, teary, begged earnestly: 'I'd like to buy ... |
7 | Dharam Khalsa | 11 | Top Five Leonardo DiCaprio Movies (Rolling Stone... = 1. Tragic shipwreck 2. Control of minds 3. Desp... |
8 | Adie Pena | 8 | The Top Five Nations with the Highest Gun Owners... = 5. Persons with shotguns 4. Identified 'war zon... |
8 | Scott Gardner | 8 | The top five villains of all time: 1. Dr. Hannib... = 1. Silence of the Lambs 2. Tend hotel in Alfred... |
Total points: | 167 | from 28 votes |
1 | Tony Crafter | 27 | A woman was being interviewed by a judge regardi... = A couple in their nineties were having problem... |
2 | Dharam Khalsa | 20 | Teacher arrested at JFK The public school teach... = At a hasty conference Wednesday morning, she f... |
3 | Jason Lofts | 19 | To Whom My Concern [sic] I have been the person... = This man is a major concern: I recently exami... |
4 | Tony Crafter | 13 | STATE TROOPERS An old couple are traveling cros... = A trooper waves down a car and tells the drive... |
5 | Jesse Frankovich | 12 | THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 1... = 1. Mount Vernon 2. Sam's cousin 3. Monticello ... |
6 | Tony Crafter | 10 | A group of pensioners were sitting discussing th... = Malcolm Clarke is ninety years old and has pla... |
7 | Jesse Frankovich | 9 | THE UNITED STATES 1. Alabama 2. Alaska 3. Arizo... = 1. Christian 2. Like Canada 3. Arid, hot 4. Ha... |
7 | nedesto | 9 | Signs You have Grown Up: - Your house plants ar... = - You suddenly hear your favorite song everywh... |
9 | Jesse Frankovich | 1 | THE STATE CAPITALS OF THE U.S. 1. Albany 2. Ann... = 1. Hudson 2. Maryland 3. Fulton 4. Kennebec 5.... |
Total points: | 120 | from 20 votes |
1 | Jesse Frankovich | 19 | Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? |
2 | Tony Crafter | 18 | YOU ARE OLD FATHER WILLIAM by Lewis Carroll |
3 | Julian Lofts | 14 | Send in the Clowns |
3 | John Ramos | 14 | The Raven By Edgar Allan Poe |
5 | Tony Crafter | 12 | A STRANGE WILD SONG by Lewis Carroll |
6 | Jesse Frankovich | 11 | A Timely Sonnet. |
6 | David Bourke | 11 | "Wasn't Expecting That" by Jamie Lawson |
8 | Jesse Frankovich | 7 | An acrostic sonnet anagram of Shakespeare's Sonnet 73. |
9 | Tony Crafter | 5 | OH I WISH I'D LOOKED AFTER ME TEETH By Pam Ayres |
10 | Adie Pena | 3 | THE LAST TRUMP by Banjo Paterson |
Total points: | 114 | from 19 votes |
1 | Scott Gardner | 25 | The bordello = Olde brothel. |
2 | Christopher Sturdy | 16 | Doctor, I've this nightmare of a dream... = For the record, ma'am, I don't give a shit. |
2 | Jesse Frankovich | 16 | Exploring a cute snatch = Graphic sexual content. |
4 | Tony Crafter | 15 | Erections in sleep = Penile secretions. |
5 | Christopher Sturdy | 12 | Using a stiff toilet brush = Rub off ugliest shit stain. |
5 | Adie Pena | 12 | What gives men a hard-on? = Show me the darn vagina! |
7 | David Bourke | 11 | Fifty Shades of Grey 'Come Alive Pleasure Gel for Her' = Gets her off very easily - a full, deep, fierce orgasm - "OH!". |
7 | Jason Lofts | 11 | Peter violating Anna = Vaginal penetration. |
9 | Ivan Andonov | 9 | The President of Russia = Federation's Super Shit. |
9 | Scott Gardner | 9 | The professional courtesan = A coitus-for-sale person, then? |
9 | Scott Gardner | 9 | Antiflatulence drug = Nulled acute farting. |
12 | Jesse Frankovich | 8 | Inspect a turd = A putrid scent! |
13 | Christopher Sturdy | 7 | A horse kick that finds the groin, man = Damn! It's a hoof right in the knackers! |
Total points: | 160 | from 27 votes |
1 | David Bourke | 15 | Late actor Leonard Simon Nimoy ('Spock' in Star Trek) = In control, lacks emotions, trademark pointy ears! |
2 | Julian Lofts | 13 | The cardiac surgeon = A heart-rescuing doc! |
3 | Rick Rothstein | 11 | There is lot of pain and hate ~ at the end of a relationship. |
4 | Rob Bretveld | 11 | Deceptive subliminal advertising = Te... |
5 | Jesse Frankovich | 9 | The political system = Mostly pathetic lies. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 9 | The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde = How incredibly your portrait's face aged! |
7 | Jesse Frankovich | 8 | Fine print at the bottom = Often the important bit! |
8 | nedesto | 7 | AFI's list of top five greatest movies of all ti... = 1. That epic O'Toole war film 2. Heston wins th... |
9 | Tony Crafter | 7 | Pierre-Auguste Renoir - 'Luncheon of the Boating Party' = An utterly bourgeois French group eat in the open air. |
10 | Rosie Perera | 6 | Business mogul Donald Trump = Dumbass on multiple grounds. |
11 | Julian Lofts | 6 | The Shroud of Turin = Undershirt of Thou. |
12 | Jason Lofts | 6 | Thomas Cruise Mapother IV = He triumphs as movie actor. |
13 | Tony Crafter | 6 | A lone VIP tourist is coming into Athens city ai... = "Nationality?" "I am German." "Occupation?" Cus... |
14 | Tony Crafter | 5 | Woman (by bus stop with son, 5 years old): "When... ~ I won't have to pay your fare." The bus comes i... |
15 | Jesse Frankovich | 5 | The Middle Eastern region = Religion's demented heart. |
16 | Christopher Sturdy | 5 | Trump's position... ~ it's opportunism! |
17 | Christopher Sturdy | 5 | I'm not scared = I don't scream. |
18 | Ellie Dent | 5 | Mary May, a blonde, went to a store. 'I'd like t... ~ and, teary, begged earnestly: 'I'd like to buy ... |
19 | Adie Pena | 4 | Dangerous obesity = One boy's sugar diet. |
20 | Dharam Khalsa | 3 | US Presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton = Emails and political innuendo hardly distract her. |
21 | Ellie Dent | 3 | American gun deaths = Mind the carnage, USA! |
22 | Mark Huffman | 3 | Transgenderism= Mr. Gent-in-a-dress. |
23 | John Ramos | 3 | Death Valley, California = I fry in a lava-coated hell. |
24 | Jesse Frankovich | 3 | The Republicans = Buncha reptiles! |
25 | Scott Gardner | 3 | The Russian foreign policy = Helping out forces in Syria. |
26 | Ellie Dent | 3 | The carnage in Paris = Heart-searing panic. |
27 | Adie Pena | 3 | United States of America = Can't our team defeat ISIS? |
28 | Rick Rothstein | 2 | The political leaders= Replace all the idiots. |
29 | Scott Gardner | 2 | GOP presidential candidates = A disappointing set declared. |
30 | Tony Crafter | 2 | THE SIX GREATEST PAINTERS OF ALL TIME 1. Leonard... = 1. An inventor too. 2. Painted 'Cafe Terrace at... |
31 | Jesse Frankovich | 1 | Egad! So the other day I sure was surprised, bea... = I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Woul... |
32 | Adie Pena | 1 | Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion = He has an orgy of nubile nymphs! |
33 | Rick Rothstein | 1 | Iran's nuclear program = An alarming precursor. |
34 | David Bourke | 1 | Daily Mail readership mainly consists of ~ hysterically-impaired fools and simians. |
35 | Tony Crafter | 1 | Donald Trump is to run for President of the USA = Note: I'd for sure not support this dreadful man! |
36 | Tony Crafter | 1 | The Presidential White House, Washington DC, America = This residence has a man with huge power located in it. |
37 | Larry Brash | 1 | Crime Scene Investigation = Nice enigmatic series on TV. |
Total points: | 180 | from 30 votes |
1 | John Ramos | 15 | The Raven By Edgar Allan Poe |
2 | Jesse Frankovich | 12 | Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? |
3 | Julian Lofts | 12 | Send in the Clowns |
4 | Tony Crafter | 9 | YOU ARE OLD FATHER WILLIAM by Lewis Carroll |
5 | Jesse Frankovich | 8 | A Timely Sonnet. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 8 | A woman was being interviewed by a judge regardi... = A couple in their nineties were having problem... |
7 | Jason Lofts | 7 | To Whom My Concern [sic] I have been the person... = This man is a major concern: I recently exami... |
8 | David Bourke | 7 | "Wasn't Expecting That" by Jamie Lawson |
9 | Tony Crafter | 6 | A group of pensioners were sitting discussing th... = Malcolm Clarke is ninety years old and has pla... |
10 | Jesse Frankovich | 5 | An acrostic sonnet anagram of Shakespeare's Sonnet 73. |
11 | Tony Crafter | 5 | A STRANGE WILD SONG by Lewis Carroll |
12 | Jesse Frankovich | 5 | THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 1... = 1. Mount Vernon 2. Sam's cousin 3. Monticello ... |
13 | Dharam Khalsa | 4 | Teacher arrested at JFK The public school teach... = At a hasty conference Wednesday morning, she f... |
14 | Adie Pena | 3 | THE LAST TRUMP by Banjo Paterson |
15 | Jesse Frankovich | 3 | THE UNITED STATES 1. Alabama 2. Alaska 3. Arizo... = 1. Christian 2. Like Canada 3. Arid, hot 4. Ha... |
16 | nedesto | 3 | Signs You have Grown Up: - Your house plants ar... = - You suddenly hear your favorite song everywh... |
17 | Tony Crafter | 2 | STATE TROOPERS An old couple are traveling cros... = A trooper waves down a car and tells the drive... |
Total points: | 114 | from 19 votes |
High Standings
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