901

JABBERWOCKY
By
Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought-
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

ABBA JOCKEY
(The Blond Clubber)

Rob Melcher was the DJ
At a nightclub in Soho,
He had this thing for Bjorn Ulvaeus,
Loved him as a bro!

"Ain't that the truth," Rob would admit,
"I just adore the man!
"He wrote the catchy Abba hits
"And I'm a mighty fan!"

Rob called himself 'The Abba Jockey'
Played them through to dawn;
But visually, he was a shock,
He dressed and looked like Bjorn!

'What's wrong with that?' you might react,
Hmm... well, I might agree,
Were it not for the screwy fact
That Rob was eighty-three!

"But Abba music keeps me young!"
He'd cry when others jeered,
"And when I get my Bjorn wig on
"It melts away the years!"

Old Rob would twist 'n' shout 'n' sing
To every Abba song -
'SOS', 'I Have A Dream'
'Dum Diddle' to 'So Long'."

One club-night, at the gig he wore
Some platform boots (high-rise),
But twelve-inch heels on wobbly floor
Is not exactly wise...

He stumbled, fell, and whammed his head
Hard on his walking frame;
And now the Abba Jockey's dead,
But that's the Name of the Game.

902

There was a young girl not so thick
The boys always let the girl pick
Which one she could hold
When she felt so bold
And she always grabbed hold of Dick.

Bob Woodruff who got endlessly sick
When he got in bed with Sally, a chick.
"Great lady?" He'd yell,
"God, an absolute hell!"
He has aches down to his short prick!

903

SHADES OF GRAY

When the world and I were young just yesterday.
Life was such a simple game a child could play.
It was easy then to tell right from wrong.
Easy then to tell weak from strong.
When a man should stand and fight,
Or just go along.

[Chorus] But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Only shades of gray.

I remember when the answers seemed so clear
We had never lived with doubt or tasted fear.
It was easy then to tell truth from lies
Selling out from compromise
Who to love and who to hate,
The foolish from the wise.

[Repeat Chorus]

[Instrumental Interlude]
It was easy then to know what was fair
When to keep and when to share.
How much to protect your heart
And how much to care.

[Repeat Chorus]
Only shades of gray.

STRANDS OF GRAY

When the world and I were young just yesterday.
We would have a lot of fun beyond foreplay.
We could share the fantasy all night long.
We were dynamite, we were strong.
A wench, a hero of sorts
With this ten-inch schlong.

[Chorus] But tonight I can't keep it upright
Although I ache will all my might!
Tonight it's just my weak eyesight
And some strands of gray.

We do remember hearts of love so real, so sweet.
The stud had a honey; we two were all in heat.
How this harpoon of mine made her drool;
My anatomy she found so cool.
She'd hold the soft, enormous --
Arouse the royal tool!

[Repeat Chorus]

[Instrumental Interlude]
Red-hot for her throat, hard as a brick;
So we attempted every trick.
What a matador I was
With the swollen stick!

[Repeat Chorus]
And some strands of gray.

904

A good limerick's no trouble to fashion:
Avoid lines that are metrically clashin',
Bring together some rhymes,
Build in humor at times,
And enjoy it. For some, it's a passion!

A good anagram's tougher; that's plain.
Look, one critical rule does constrain:
Every letter to finish.
Boom! Solutions diminish.
Sometimes dire, shabby filth may remain (J).

905

Ding Dong Song

Deep in the night,
i'm looking for some fun,
deep in the night,
i'm looking for some love.
de-de-de-deep in the night,
i'm looking for some fun,
deep in the night,
i'm looking for some (ping)

You tease me,
oh please me,
i want you to be my lovetoy,
come near me, don't fear me,
i just can't get enough of you boy.

Oh, you touch my tralala.
la la la..
mmm, my ding ding dong,
oh you touch my tralala,
mmm, my ding ding dong.
la la la...

Deep in the night,
i'm looking for some fun,
deep in the night,
i'm looking for some love.

you tease me,
oh please me,
i want you to be my lovetoy.
come near me, don't fear me,
i just can't get enough of you boy.

Oh, you touch my tralala.
la la la...
mmm, my ding ding dong.
la la la..
oh, you touch my tralala.
la la la..
mmm, my ding ding dong.

(ding ding dong)
mmm, my ding ding dong

Gunther and The Sunshine Girls

Debra Dee Freeman Ditty

Debra Dee Freeman (DDF)
Evil unhinged troll LOL!
Fiend attacking,
Insulting, niggling
Onomatopoeic nutty hippy
Idiotic mammoth mayhem
Pitiful fool
Just a kooky vile troll

Hehehe!
Dum dum dum
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Gag gag gag!

Eminent psychiatrist comment:
"Non compos mentis...
Of unsound mind...
Mentally ill...
Hypomania...
Juvenile, amok..."

An unhinged lunatic, villainous hag
Kooky egghead
Moaning Minnie
Hogging the Anagrammy site, I huff - "Greedy!"

Hehehe!
Dum dum dum
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Gag gag gag!

We shout "She's mad, stupid, ludicrous!"
Foaming spit at the mouth,
Debra Dee Freeman is demented! Google DDF
Gag the troll LOL!
We yell "Gag Debra Dee Freeman LOL!"
Yell "Gag the troll LOL!"

Hehehe!
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Nom nom nom?
Go go go
NO NO NO!