901

THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA
by Damien Wong

Chinese slaves place their stones,
Breaking muscles and bones.
Defending its territory,
It shines in pitiful glory.
Yet this wall stands tall,
To defend those whom befall.
Those dark days have passed,
And now united at last.

THE GREAT FALL OF CHINA

Hell now doesn't give a damn,
Oust this senseless Carrie Lam!
Noisy nimbleness in the city,
Gritty steadfastness and no pity.
Keep up with the new brass.
Oddly defend; kill the tear gas!
Not to be a chained vassal,
Go for sudden bill withdrawal!

902

BAKER STREET
Gerry Rafferty

Winding your way down on Baker Street
Light in your head and dead on your feet
Well, another crazy day
You'll drink the night away
And forget about everything

This city desert makes you feel so cold
It's got so many people, but it's got no soul
And it's taken you so long
To find out you were wrong
When you thought it held everything

You used to think that it was so easy
You used to say that it was so easy
But you're trying, you're trying now

Another year and then you'd be happy
Just one more year and then you'd be happy
But you're crying, you're crying now

Way down the street there's a light in his place
He opens the door, he's got that look on his face
And he asks you where you've been
You tell him who you've seen
And you talk about anything

He's got this dream about buying some land
He's gonna give up the booze and the one-night stands
And then he'll settle down
In some quiet little town
And forget about everything

But you know he'll always keep moving
You know he's never gonna stop moving
'Cause he's rolling, he's the rolling stone
And when you wake up, it's a new morning
The sun is shining, it's a new morning
And you're going, you're going home

ODE TO A LONDON INN
By
A geeky poet (a no-one)

The Metropolitan in Baker Street
Is where those Anagrammy groupies meet,
When a foreign guest hits town,
You Brit guys go on down,
To see them for a drink or ten.

You try the house beers and you chew the fat
About everythin' and this 'n' that,
Then the night goes by and you
Announce your latest news,
Then soon you take your photographs.

Julian, Zoran and you, Meyran Kraus,
You've been along to this good public house,
Plus Larry Brash and Andrew Brehaut too.

Mick Tully, you had funny tales to tell,
Mike Keith, Lardy Girl, Fat Phil as well,
William Tunstall-Pedoe, yes, you too!

David Bourke, always a guiding light,
Chris Sturdy's sinking yeasty booze all night,
Then Tony C, who got pie-eyed,
Yet stayed on for the ride,
Though wondering how he would get home.

In London town they're used to nutty sights,
But none like this nutty event tonight,
As geeky, word-nerd fans
Invent new anagrams
About every- and any-thing.

Oh, you know they were such good guys,
Yes in every way they were such good guys,
And everyone is easygoing too.
We quit the venue and soon say our goodnights,
Yes, it's been fun a truly happy night,
Now we're goin', we are goin' home.

903

NOVEMBER

Is November the best month of the year? Probably. The clocks have just gone back so every day feels like a lie-in, it is officially okay to start getting excited about Christmas and, well, FIREWORKS! We love you, November, so let us count the ways.

1. No one expects you to get up now and go out to lame, muddy festivals or come back from a week off with a story about how you fell in love with a Mexican barman and made love on Puerto Vallarta beach. Telling your colleagues you had a lovely weekend eating jacket potatoes, drinking hot chocolate and watching all the Back To The Futures in a row is greeted with nods of approval, rather than stern judgemental looks.

2. Dumplings. Ah, Casserole, how we have missed you!

3. Movember – the only time you can grow a moustache and have an excuse for looking like a 70s TV presenter.

4. Yes, it is freezing – a magnificent freezing apocalypse sent to rain down death and destruction on every last one of those bloody giant spiders.

5. T-lights. Yes, it’s time to get all Anna Karenina, but with faux fur.

6. The blinding sunshine and blue skies of a November morning. Oh, why don't we ever get this in summer?

7. Fireworks let off all through this month because someone you know ordered a job lot and is having a trial run and doesn't intend to waste any.

8. Christmas sandwiches, turkey trimmings.

9. Reverting to your teenager's make-up - GOLD! SCENTED! GLITTERING!

10. Feeling like an Olympian when you go for a run, because half the usual fitness devotees have chickened out, wearied, to vegetate. How can you not love it!

11. Buying up the entire stock of M&S sixty denier jet-black tights and merrily throwing away your razor (until the Xmas party season).

12. Channeling your inner meek, Victorian school ma'am look, complete with the sexy-as-hell button boots.

13. Dark evenings - where you no longer leave home for a big night out, done up like a hooker, wearing full make-up in broad daylight.

14. Cinnamon, clove, gunpowder, frost and crunchy leaves.

15. Melting marshmallows, that you love, into every one of your hot drinks at night. Oh, boy!

16. Christmas markets with twinkly lights, to enjoy: see common, wanted gifts; gawk at a cheesecake, see vintage sweets and homemade jam. Even better, an evening-long welcome excuse to drink booze, mulled wine or hot cider, at them.

17. The grass becomes frost bedewed. Log fires, bonfires.

18. Cadbury's hot, sweet tinned puddings and Bird's custard, or Ambrosia if pushing the boat out.

19. Fog - nature's tulle.

20. Totally guilt-free shopping, as most is for devoted friends, relatives and family. You are in the black, to boot! And, the January credit card bill of doom seems years away!

21. Putting on a new silk feel vest - a VEST! - velvet skirt, winter coat, gloves, a faux fur hat and stole, boots. Anna Karenina to a tee!

Lastly...

Santa's coming to town. Whoopee!