Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000
1st - Larry Brash with:
Gastroenterologist =
I let go torrents o' gas.
2nd - Art Day with:
Acetaminophen =
Ache? Pain? Not me!
eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
"He required a breathalyser test." =
Larry Brash, quiet as he teetered...
eq.3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Economic rationalism =
Is a commercial notion.
Larry Brash with:
Obstetrician and Gynaecologist =
Ding! Got lot by Caesarian Section.
Daniel with:
Unabridged =
Big and rude.
Jaybur with:
Poetic licence =
Oi! eclectic pen!
Jaybur with:
Nonagenarian =
O, Nan, a grannie.
Jaybur with:
Self denial =
Fills a need.
Meyran Kraus with:
Drifting snow =
Frosting wind.
Meyran Kraus with:
Fashion Model =
Famished loon.
Meyran Kraus with:
Falling star =
Astral fling.
ID Letterman with:
Biology's moonshot: the human genome =
Oh! Oh! Thou assembling ontogeny memo.
Janet Muggeridge with:
"Herbal tea?" =
"Halt! A beer!"
Mick Tully with:
Air traffic control =
Not critical for RAF?
Mick Tully with:
Duchesse potatoes =
Coo! Spuds, aesthete?
Mick Tully with:
The British Public House =
I, lush, to hit pub's beer... hic!
1st - Tom Myers with:
Who was that masked man, riding on the white horse, with all the silver bullets? =
Ah! An absurd kids show! It's The Lone Ranger TV show with the William Tell theme.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle's The Hound of the Baskervilles =
Lurid story of hero Sherlock and an evil beast he hunts.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Noddy and Big Ears in Toyland =
Enid Blyton and gay androids.
Larry Brash with:
"The Pig Got Up and Slowly Walked Away" =
Why did Tully get woken? AWOL gas, papa!
Don P. Fortier with:
Film actress Hilary Swank =
Ah, "Cry" star skill wins fame.
Don P. Fortier with:
"Space, the final frontier..." =
Enterprise off, can't hail.
Don P. Fortier with:
Kevin Spacey: "I am our Best Actor." =
So voters pick "American Beauty".
Jon Gearhart with:
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight? =
O, I've proven it sure did get much stale when out for so long, by gosh.
Richard Grantham with:
The Crying Game's end =
It's my gender change!
Richard Grantham with:
Do re mi fa so la ti =
Fetid solo, Maria.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Al Pacino & Marlon Brando in The Godfather =
Born to plan farther on homicidal agenda.
Jaybur with:
Weatherman Ian McCaskill =
Rain chill means a wet mack.
Jaybur with:
Melinda is a mother =
Oh! I am streamlined.
Meyran Kraus with:
Sumo Wrestling =
Grew slim? Not us!
Graham Perkins with:
"Space, the final frontier..." =
Shatner face oft in peril.
Mick Tully with:
Family Fortunes =
Measly. I turn off.
Mick Tully with:
Literature lesson =
Sure learn T.S. Eliot!
1st - Jaybur with:
Saint George's Day =
Yes! as I get dragon!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mayor Rudolph Giuliani said he has prostate cancer =
Oh, US Senate chair campaign's hard? Drop it! You are ill!
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Microsoft penalty =
Stifle company? Rot!
Darren Donlen with:
Hansie Cronje Sacked =
Need cash Jerk?? Casino!
Cathie Holtman with:
Roy Keane own goal =
A loony ego wanker.
Jaybur with:
So, now, at last, Spring is here in Britain =
Snow, sleet, rain; British groan; 'it's pain!'
Ralph Lenton with:
Last post =
Lost past.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Murderer Kenneth Noye stood trial and he got given a life sentence =
Eleven to one test: he knifed Cameron in road rage. Sly thug interned.
Tom Myers with:
The tobacco lawsuit =
It acute blow to cash.
Tom Myers with:
Denial of service attacks =
Sad, sick evil teen a factor.
Tom Myers with:
Breaking Microsoft in two =
Sort-of wrecking ambition.
Mick Tully with:
Istanbul =
LU in stab.
Mick Tully with:
National countryside crime =
Tony Martin - a cruel decision?
Mick Tully with:
Noye: "Psst! Coke?" =
Keystone Cops.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Genital Warts =
Rinse twat, gal!
2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Sweaty bollocks =
Boy lacks towels.
eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Dr. Alex Comfort, author of "The Joy Of Sex" =
X-rated theme: Oral joy -- crux of shoot-off.
eq.3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Tuna town =
Twat [noun].
Larry Brash with:
Donovan James Friesen =
Rave! Feed on Onan's jism.
Richard Grantham with:
Gonorrhoea =
A roger? Oh, no!
Jeff Martin with:
Adult bookstore =
Butts! Look, adore.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
These girls are barely legal. =
The "girls" are really beagles.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
For only $16.00 US dollars, we will send you the material you
need to do this legally.
=
Well, girl, I sent you lolly ($A1600) and you sent me a turd.
So, where's the folio, old lady?
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
HOW TO MAKE MONEY IN THE COMMODITY MARKETS WITHOUT LOSING SLEEP
=
You're mocking me with 'Hot, New' spam, idiot. Sell that to some
monkey.
Jon Gearhart with:
Did you know that there's a way to lose 2 to 14 inches of fat
PERMANENTLY and SAFELY in only 1 HOUR?! . . . 100% Guaranteed!
=
Why, yes -- it's often referred to as coming, total arsehole!
Aha - You play and wank on it a lot then, funny dude?
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Looking for some hot young girls? Look no further. We have the
freshest, youngest girls available. These girls are barely legal.
This is the site you have been hearing about. We are the best
rated adult site on the net!
Unsensored pics, live Cams, plus chat rooms where you can talk
to our girls live! Don't wait, Get your full access trial today!!
http://3489887226/jm1/
To be removed email us at nothanks@mailandnews.com
=
Want to see hot pensioners? Seek no further. We have the hottest,
raunchiest grandmas available. All of these babes are over seventy
but they still like to 69!
Watch lewd octogenarian sluts shagging, live! Try our lurid 431-shot
gallery of "Grans With Glans"!
Stick in your false teeth, get some edible Depends, take a valium
(or your lithium) then join us @ "The Coma Roamer"
(oedipusrules.com/82-72-88/oralcolostomybag)
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Here's what our customers say...
Testimonial # 1 - I knew having a Merchant Account would increase my sales, But never thought it would be so great. In addition in being able to take major credit cards, I can also do real time credit card processing on the internet and receive orders while I am Sleeping. It's awsome! I encourage every serious business owner to get one. Thanks. M.B./MI
Testimonial # 2 - " Being a homebased business owner, no one would approve me, until this came my way. I am more than greatful. Within 10 days I had my Merchant Account set up. I am more than pleased with the 24 hr. customer service. My business has sky rocketted because I now can accept credit card orders. " Oscar/FL
=
Here are 2 rambling idiots we abused:
Sorry Ass I - "I'm Bill Gates and Merchant Account screwed me over. I used to be an attractive man with no PC or internet knowledge, then those cursed Merchant Account weasels said a computer career would be a great job. Sure... Now I'm a moronic, eerie liar on trial, and Microsoft has been repossessed."
Sorry Ass II - "My name is Bill Clinton and I'm the US president. I used to be a happy man with a loving spouse, then Merchant Account suggested me to hire Monica Lewinsky, a big-mouthed bitch. Now my marriage is ruined, of course, the country indicts me, the white house receives 41,120 swastikas a day, even my weirdo vice Al Gore can't talk to me... Thanks, cunts!"
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
-- > * D E A D L I N E * is this Sunday! < --
Start a proven home business within 72 hours using Microsoft's foolproof sales recipe for Internet success. Your exclusive report reveals how to get a *FREE* business building CD-ROM, TURN 50 cents into $50 with a click of a button, 5-page WebSite and *FREE* reprint and marketing rights to $1073.00 in software products! Don't miss the deadline!
For your *FREE* report:
Click Here:
mailto:xyz4044@21cn.com?subject=cdrom2000
-OR-
Send an email to xyz4044@21cn.com
with cdrom2000 as the subject.
P.S.
Act NOW! -- Only the first 75 requests will be granted to receive
this Special Report for *FREE*. Bonus report given to the first
35 people to respond within the next 24 Hours.
Your FREE Report request will be fulfilled in the order in which it was received... Thank you.
=
-- >* A T T E N T I O N* dickless spammers! < --
Send our required $777,555,544,440 in the next 24 hours or suffer strict consequences. BEWARE: If you didn't pick this fee, we'd have no choice but to strap you in a chair, forcing you to listen to Yoko Ono's Worst Songs [tautology?] 4,433,222,220,000,000 times, or 'til you tell us to rip your heart through an orifice we chose, ending the droll, senseless, suffering existence.
The first 5 hundred shrewd respondents will receive a coupon for 1 butt-wax from Bob R. McSchlect's House of Extracted Anal Hair 'N' Wart Removal.
There's STILL MORE!! The first 100,000 persistent jerk-off spammer twits that accept our offer will receive a BRAND NEW cod-scented, jizz-blob dripping, purple-veiny, erect nob probing deep inside their torn, raw rectums!!! Limit 1 per visit.
Don P. Fortier with:
Hi there!
I'm sharing this with you and inviting you guys to visit my
website at http://www.skynary.com/gojai
You may find it interesting & helpful for self development
plus a business opportunity. Before you
know it, you'll receive a weekly check of USD70 for starters and
USD420 when you're in it. Don't miss out.
Please forward this message to your e-group. I'll very much appreciate
that.
Thanks & Best Regards.
GOJAI
=
4.7.00 Trivia & spam returns to alt.anagrams
We greedy jerks are trying to sell a family website service, but don't wait for payment if you help us. We're hiding behind insipid marketing & we pay 2 idiots to put this shit on your USENET newsgroups. You'll see lots more of this vile crap until you dudes force the uninvited assholes to fuck off.
http://www.gayscam.nojoy/irk
Cheeky guy (I shove goat horns up my hairy butt)
Jon Gearhart with:
This totally FREE offer.Pays for the time YOU spend actively surfing
the WORLD WIDE WEB usin the wery simply VIEWBAR service.YOU get
pays for YOU direct referrals people and YOUR extended referrals.....
There is no limit to the number of referrals YOU can get paid
for.
http://gamma.nic.fi/~dollars/default.htm
=
Dear shifty poster,
Can't every use you complete sentence, fat shithead? Or you is very not well at grammar, dry fried butt-drip? If you desire ENGRISH, need bad, me am expertise with it. Can help free, for small cost -- one fifty four trillion dollars. You differ after by help.
Love,
Me
http://www.u-r-a-fiery-arseplug.org
Jon Gearhart with:
CROATIA (EUROPA)
Postovani zemljaci! Trazim tjedne listove, casopise za koje
bi suradjivao! Sve vrste zagonetaka, te iste i graficki oblikujem
i saljem emalom!! Vrlo jednostavno!!
Kompletnu izradu zagonetaka za vas casopis, tjednik (krizaljke,
rebusi, itd.) dostava materijala e-mailom!
Redakcije, drustva, skole, klubovi, lokalni tjednici, casopisi za sve radim!!!
Ozbiljne ponude molim!
www.geocities.com/rodnikovic
robert.odnikovic@vz.tel.hr
=
DES MOINES (IOWA)
I view concern about Dick Jerkovski's mad java post:
(i) I believe Jerkovski's original java post to Alt.Anagram zone to be a vivid, puzzle-coded occult message.
(ii) Dick Jerkovski's dim aim is a crime -- to puzzle A.A., jar it into oblivion. Puzzleman Dick Jerkovski must end in jail.
Zoom to make puzzler Dick Jerkovski's TRUE java post become readable [or just mail me five zillion dollars to translate it].
Jon J. Gearhart -- Iowa A.A. Advocate
Martin Rand with:
An Actual Job that you CAN Work From Home!!$$
Thank you for your interest in Adplacing, an actual job that
you can work at your leisure from home!
This is a legitimate offer to contract with us from home by simply
typing and placing classified ads. We are CJ Holdings, an International
Marketing Firm who design and implement advertising campaigns
for our many clients. NO Selling! Just type and place our clients
ads that we provide on the FREE Internet Sites that we give you
or place the ads in print. You are paid PER RESPONSE-no one has
to buy anything from the ads-just reply! You have to see this!
http://www.adplacing.com/member/pt643
=
So you think you can spread your wretched inane spam all over
this group with impunity, you jet of Jack Filth?
Don't you know that God has a fate reserved for you?
It involves twenty-four pigs and a prosthesis! Not to mention
a fat maniac in the rump! International shite-eating feasts! Inept
ethnic tap-dancing in a tent! A lucky cowpat!
Spammy ramblings are read by jism merchants and half-intelligent
canal life. So place your $$643 under your crippled member and
hit it with a basin. Redesign your charm using a spare lemon!
Deflorate a nest of hedgehogs! Become a cacophage!
(Or, log on to http://www.snotrollers-r-us.com)
(Jittery yet, Jim Wimp?)
1st - Richard Grantham with:
My
mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Online D'Zigns
Specialists In Web Page Graphic Design & Logo Development.
We Offer An Array Of Services To Fit Your Needs. Be It Business
Or Personal, We Can Design A Layout That Fits You. We Can Use
Your Design Ideas And Make Them Sing, Or If You Prefer, You Can
Have One Of Our Trained Professional Graphic Artists Work With
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Whatever Your Needs, Online D'Zigns Will Fill Them To Your Satisfaction!
Look Through Our Web Site - Enjoy Yourself. If You Have Any Questions,
Please Feel Free To Contact Us And We'll Be Happy To Answer Them
All.
Please feel free to visit us at: http://www.sincity1.com/onlinedzigns
UZt?B
=
Hello To All Alt.Anagram Faithful!
Yes, I Capitalize All Words I Write 'Cause I'm One Super-Moron -- Yes, A Grossly Offensive Stupid Fucking Festered Zero, Not Fully Sure What Words Should Be Capitalized. Yes, In Fact, Don't Have Clue One How To Market Anyone's Services, So Of Course You're Fully Aware I Don't Even Know How To Finish Laying Out A Web Page. You Realize I Just Want Your Card Number So I Can Use It Getting Off On Every Pornography Page I Find On This Planet. Yes, Ann, I Confess I Won't Go Away Until I Get It, So Please, Offer Me Endless Help. Take Pity On These Pathetic Wretch Requests Soon. Right Now If Possible. I'd Be Forever In Your Generous Debt.
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists Congress
=
Electrotherapy and drug fans now ignore Classical Analysis zealots.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Yesterday Sir Peter Middleton, the chairman of Barclays Bank apologised
to a packed meeting of angry shareholders. =
Folk begged, "Talk or drop path!" as I closed their
branches and so stranded 'em. Aye, hate me: I care only for my
giant pay-rise.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Guess what is for dinner tonight? Yes, it is beefburger carry-out
again. =
Beast's inner rib-cage with fries - dangerous gut-rot. Say, I
frighten you?
1st - Richard Grantham with:
William Shakespeare =
I'll make a wise phrase.
2nd - Bo Bielefeldt with:
Philadelphia Sixers' guard Allen Iverson =
Holds in evil lies, sex, drug paraphernalia.
eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
NASA Administrator Dan Goldin =
Idiot and a rat. No Mars landings!
eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Prime Minister Tony Blair =
I'm Britain's Tory peril, men!
David Bourke with:
The Manchester United Footballer Jaap Stam =
"See! I can't be just a prat from the Holland team!"
Larry Brash with:
Alexander Nikolaus Benner =
Drunken anal-sex alien bore.
Art Day with:
Tony Martin =
"I'm no tyrant."
Richard Grantham with:
Rodgers and Hammerstein =
Mastermind grand heroes.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Sagamore Stevenin =
Enters some vagina.
Kevin Hale with:
Wilma Flintstone =
Well, man if no tits!
Jaybur with:
Pedro Almodovar =
O! pro loved drama.
Jaybur with:
Thomas Stearns Eliot =
A short name's 'toilets'.
Tom Myers with:
Mayor Rudolph Giuliani =
I run. I am good. Hillary? PU!
Mick Tully with:
Charles Philip Arthur George Windsor =
HRH: "Paris perilous? Na! Go, wretched girl!"
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Quarter Pounders with Cheese =
It's queer how the crap endures.
2nd - Darren Donlen with:
National Geographic =
Hop on a giant glacier.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
City of Nazareth, Israel =
Christ-zone? A fairy tale!
Richard Grantham with:
Des Moines, Iowa =
I see sow domain.
Jaybur with:
The Little Book of Calm =
I'm a felt-cloth booklet.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Library of Alexandria =
I, a hall of rare art (by index).
mattt with:
Hammersmith Hospital =
Optimism harms health.
Tom Myers with:
Miami's The Cuban American National Foundation =
I am an anti-Castro fanatic loon. Die inhumane bum!
Tom Myers with:
The World Bank and IMF =
Find market down. Blah!
Tom Myers with:
The Real Yellow Pages =
Large! Oh, type's all wee!
Mick Tully with:
Clapham Common =
Homo MP Mac clan.
1st - Daniel F. Etter with:
Fetal tissue research =
I curse heartless fate!
Rare fetus sale! Ethics?
Sees their fatal cures.
I steal the safer cures.
Safe, stealthier cures.
Her freest casualties.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Sodom and Gomorrah =
Hard-on mood. Orgasm!
Do rod! Oh man! Orgasm!
Manhood, rod, orgasm!
God roars. Damn homo.
Homos roar "damn god!"
Honor God or madams?
So go do random harm.
Gonads, ramrod, homo.
Or god do so harm man.
3rd - Kevin Hale with:
Popeye, The sailor man =
A sloppy heroine mate.
Happy elite sea moron.
Ahoy! Inept male poser.
The oily apeman poser.
A happy, one-time loser.
Oh my! No pirate, please!
He's a pain to employer.
"I loathes paper money."
Richard Grantham with:
The Australian Government =
A vehement, arrogant insult.
Ran to slaughter native men.
Jaybur with:
Caller Display =
Rep calls daily!
Clearly I'd pals.
Yell dial's crap!
Clear silly pad.
Meyran Kraus with:
Playing Strip-Poker =
A peppy girl - no skirt!
Porn-like party? Pigs!
Apt nipple? Orgy risk...
Janet Muggeridge with:
Four-poster bed =
Of restored pub.
Superb roof, Ted.
Tom Myers with:
Flag Protection Amendment fails =
Am left torn to pieces and flaming.
Fate is complete. Torn and flaming.
Torn and flaming? Meet police fast!
Tom Myers with:
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas =
Ancient TV fatso, he risks evolving.
Gosh! Ancient link, revive TV's fatso!
TV fatso in skins, the race evolving.
TV fatso in skins, grovel in the cave.
Ormasyna with:
"Would you like fries with that?" =
Hideous work, wealth futility.
What idle work-house futility!
Utility work, woeful shit-head!
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Raindrops
on roses and whiskers on kittens
2nd - Mike Keith with:
Foolish
About Windows
3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Psalm
83
David Bourke with:
THE
BALLAD OF READING GAOL
David Bourke with:
This
Be The Verse by Philip Larkin
Jon Gearhart with:
One evening
in October, when I was one-third sober
Richard Grantham with:
Mirror
Richard Grantham with:
Bucket
Richard Grantham with:
Death of God
Meyran Kraus with:
Morcheeba:
The Sea
Meyran Kraus with:
The text of Pope John Paul II's
speech at the Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial