Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2002
1st - Jaybur with:
Lose weight fast! =
How I get less fat!
2nd - Joe Fathallah with:
True friends ~
endure rifts.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Learned [adj.] =
An elder.
Ellie Dent with:
Speeding fine =
If engine sped!
Joe Fathallah with:
The Destiny of the Human Race =
Face the hurt, money, sin, death.
Joe Fathallah with:
World Capitalism ~
will adopt racism.
Joe Fathallah with:
Tae Kwan Do =
A takedown.
Joe Fathallah with:
Personal Ads =
Ponder a lass.
Richard Grantham with:
You can't teach an old dog new tricks =
Cad's too cute and wrinkly to change.
Adrian Hickford with:
If last in... ~
finalist!
Jaybur with:
The younger set =
Greenest youth.
Jaybur with:
Generation gap =
O, ageing parent!
Jaybur with:
The sudden shower =
Odd, where's the sun?
Jaybur with:
Police station =
I listen to a cop.
Jaybur with:
The police station =
O, elite cops in that.
Jaybur with:
A good result =
Sure do gloat!
Meyran Kraus with:
Live on a shoestring =
Oh, I've lost earnings...
Meyran Kraus with:
To fall head over heels =
O, a lad felt he loves her...
Meyran Kraus with:
Warm feeling =
We're flaming!
Allan Morley with:
Overacting =
Gave it corn.
Allan Morley with:
The silicon chip ~
is technophilic.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Believe it or not, ~
I LOVE TO BE INERT!
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Today gold, tomorrow dust =
Truly sad word. Good motto.
Santi Spadaro with:
The top models ~
smelt hot dope.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Oscar Wilde's 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' =
Face in scary portrait grew old, hideous.
2nd - David A. Green with:
'The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole' by Sue Townsend =
Story where I featured an adolescent boy's mind.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" =
Mark a very dandy ending to a film.
Joe Fathallah with:
An Impressionist =
Inspiration? Mess!
Richard Grantham with:
Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot" =
Two beggars, not met, talk of suicide.
Adrian Hickford with:
Best-ever, overall: ~
Beatles' "Revolver".
Jaybur with:
Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie =
I try a crime saga, as detail has charm.
Jaybur with:
Auguste Rodin's 'The Kiss' =
So truth is naked, I guess.
Meyran Kraus with:
The best cinematic role of Anthony Perkins =
Let Norman Bates knife the erotic in 'Psycho'.
Paul Pan with:
Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" =
King's inanely brutish sketch.
Paul Pan with:
Pointillism =
Millipoints.
Mike Torr with:
The Solar System =
Yes, Master Holst!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
WorldCom, The Latest in Giant-Scale Fraud =
False accounting did harm to Wall Street.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Catholic priesthood =
Poor ethics to a child.
3rd - Matjaz Pihler with:
Germany against Brazil =
In a starry, blazing game!
Richard Brodie with:
Peregrine mis-states earnings =
Giant enterprise's meager sins.
Scott C. with:
September eleventh, two thousand and one =
Planes threatened two homebound events.
Jaybur with:
Oxana Fedorova, this year's Miss Universe =
Ah, sexy Russian or Soviet name is favored!
Jaybur with:
The Mid East troubles =
Battles: thus more die.
Jaybur with:
England's soccer star Michael Owen =
Goal scorer lad in match scene news.
Jaybur with:
Andre Agassi crashes out of Wimbledon =
Or bad news as his games on court failed.
Paul Pan with:
India versus Pakistan =
Asian divas' nuke trips!
Paul Pan with:
'Dirty Bomb' suspect Abdullah Al Mujahir arrested =
Clumsy, retarded US-Arab jihad bumbler plots a hit.
1st - Allan Morley with:
A wet T-shirt contest =
We contrast the tits.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Long-term impotence =
Men go limp, not erect.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Stretching exercise =
Christ! Energetic sex!
Richard Grantham with:
Aeroplane toilet =
Elope to a latrine.
1st - Larry Brash with:
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=
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2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
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=
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(e.g. condoms), this inexpensive routine is very much better",
Government experts recently agreed.
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the violent creature's ovine/porcine anus.
5. Invoke the Devil.
6. Experiment with your nude, hellish love slave. Cum and rejoice!
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3rd - Allan Morley with:
If your home is served by a septic system, you will be able to
receive invaluable information on how to eliminate pump outs,
maintain the system properly and cure problems such as backups,
wet spots, odor, etc.
You can do this by checking out our SPC program at:
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In addition, you will have the opportunity to participate in a free trial to test the effectiveness of SPC.
Please check us out.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
SPC
P.S. Remember, you must click on this link to receive this helpful information!
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=
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Larry Brash with:
MAKE MONEY FAST, EASY, & LEGAL....ALL U NEED TO GET STARTED
IS $6
=
LET'S ANAGRAM, DEFAME, TEASE, KILL AND GET TO YOU! YES, LET'S!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Weird Workplaces
Perth, Australia, brothel owner Mary-Anne Kenworthy closed down for a day on April 30 because the influx of 5,500 U.S. Navy personnel on shore leave had left her workforce worn out. "We're the biggest and the best," she said, "(and) I'd rather take nothing than offer a poor service." She added, "I just wish they could dribble-feed the Yanks in, fly a thousand (in) at a time." (The Bremerton (Wash.) Sun carried a wire-service version of this story but later apologized for it to its readers since many Navy families in the Bremerton-Seattle area apparently did not appreciate learning this news.) [The Mercury (Hobart, Australia), 5-3-02; The Age (Melbourne), 5-2-02]
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Even Weirder Workplaces
A source reported yesterday that all of the presidential personnel
had asked for an early retirement, describing their job as 'inhumane'.
Not long ago, the staff secretary was rumored to 'weep like a
baby' when the president asked if 'Arab' can be a verb, too. Recently,
Bush had to spend hours with a trainer to properly say "Every
little bit of effort counts", after a sad incident of mispronouncing
'war', 'terror' and 'USA' in his State of the Union address. His
whim to raise morale by hiding fake vomit all over the White House
drew no laughs.
"Um, anyone still have anthrax?", a crazed intern was
cited; "Hell, anywhere but here."
2nd - Jaybur with:
Lucian Freud:
A German-born British painter.
3rd - Paul Pan with:
*Pledge of Allegiance*
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God,
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
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*Epicede to pall Indigence*
I salute the fair Dollar, of the free capitalist economy, and
the biotic need, which it funds, a big gold ingot, glittering,
with a job, fuel, assets, land and revenue for all.
Larry Brash with:
Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them, and
psychiatrists collect the rent.
=
Tics? Cults? Still nutty, panicky or tetchy? Need Doc Brash's
help? The clients' visits are his income.
Joe Fathallah with:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
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Air's so vile,
Asses are red.
Slut, you are eager
So we run to bed!
David A. Green with:
National Association for the Care and Resettlement of Offenders
=
Moan is, softhearted staff are too lenient on incarcerated felons.
Mike Torr with:
"Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid" by Douglas
R. Hofstadter =
Dry, gabbled lectures on cerebral foolhardiness nag that Godhead.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
His Holiness Pope John Paul the Second =
The one old chap Jesus phones in Polish.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Detective Sherlock Holmes =
Heck, solve the oldest crime!
3rd - Jaybur with:
The two Williams sisters, Venus and Serena =
A tennis date: US smashers will serve to win.
Scott C. with:
Gene Simmons =
Immense song.
Adrian Hickford with:
The Germany captain Oliver Kahn =
Ah! Ran in, kept goal in every match.
Jaybur with:
Lisa Bonet =
Is notable!
Jaybur with:
M. Henri Matisse =
His immense art!
Paul Pan with:
Senator Edward Kennedy =
Stern Yankee, drown dead!
Paul Pan with:
Javier Solana [NATO's Secretary General during Yugoslavian bombing] =
Nail Sarajevo.
Paul Pan with:
Mujahid Osama bin Laden =
Jail heinous bad madman!
Paul Pan with:
National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice =
Crazed, overzealous, idiotical cretin annoys.
Santi Spadaro with:
Arthur Conan Doyle =
You art no Chandler!
1st - Jaybur with:
Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons =
Face is long, nose is a catastrophe: so it is cut!
2nd - David A. Green with:
The Acorn Superglide Stairlift =
Tell our gran this aid is perfect!
3rd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
Smith and Wesson =
Own this? Madness!
Richard Brodie with:
The Athens Acropolis =
O, Pericles hath sat on.
Joe Fathallah with:
The United States of America =
A neofascism attitude there.
Joe Fathallah with:
London Bridge =
Old or bending.
Joe Fathallah with:
The program "Anagram Genius" =
Ah, upmost rearranging game!
Adrian Hickford with:
Stalag Thirteen's ~
Hitler's Sangatte.
Jaybur with:
The Canon PowerShot =
How photos entrance!
Allan Morley with:
The former Yugoslavia =
As you fight over realm.
Paul Pan with:
Holidays in Greece =
I diagnose lechery.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
"The Magazine Man" =
The amazing name!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
9 Rooms - A Paradoxical Poem
2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Song On May Morning
3rd - Noam D. Elkies with:
[Annoying Adages]
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Actions speak louder than words.
April showers bring May flowers.
As you make your bed, so must you lie in it.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Better late than never.
Dead men tell no tales.
Every dog has his day.
Fools rush in where angles fear to tread.
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Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
All that glitters is not gold.
As you sow, so shall you reap.
Better be safe than sorry.
Blood is thicker than water.
Business is business.
Charity begins at home.
Dead men have no friends.
Divide and rule.
Don't go near the water until you learn how to swim.
Every man has his price.
Joe Fathallah with:
The Fly
Richard Grantham with:
The Mother, by Anne Stevenson
Allan Morley with: [A poem by Dorothy Parker]
Résumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
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Our age's unnerving -
Fair world's now a slum;
A city's polluted;
Monday's glum.
A mugger pilfers;
Worms cause disease;
Survival's crazy -
Euthanasia please.
Paul Pan with:
Dear Sir, I am Mrs. Francisca Savimbi
(Widow) of late Mr. George Savimbi
"That's one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind." Neil Armstrong
1st - Larry Brash with:
An "Eagle" lands on Earth's moon, making a first small permanent footprint.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
"Eagle" flips open antenna; transmits landmark signal from Moon to Earth.
3rd - Paul Pan with:
NASA pranks planet! Terrestrial men shot a film montage of "Moon Landing".
Richard Brodie with:
On moon, mile long paths feet attain;
Men's arms park flag on land's terrain.
Joe Fathallah with:
Poor folk ate dirt as NASA management men spent ransom on ill-ran flight.
Richard Grantham with:
Gentleman made first moon trip, thanks again to all personnel from NASA.
Richard Grantham with:
Apollo treks earthmen to Moon; a Net anagram finds itself planning Mars.
David A. Green with:
NASA sent married man along to Moon: talks, left prominent flag near ship.
Adrian Hickford with:
Anagram: "First spoken on Planet Earth's satellite from moon-landing man."
Jaybur with:
Report meant an Apollo man's first then, at making fearless moon-landing.
Jaybur with:
An earthman landing on Moon speaks; meaning all profit later from tests.
Meyran Kraus with:
Most poignant line from moon-landing sparks an eternal flame at hearts.
Allan Morley with:
After little hops, gentleman skips an 'a' and mangles narration from Moon.
Allan Morley with:
An Aldrin's on fresh Moon gangplank one moment later... as if it matters, pal.
Paul Pan with:
Moon-Land antenna signal to Mme Gorski:
"Strip apron fast, fellate her man".
Matjaz Pihler with:
The last mark in annals:
"Moon's a damn fine golf terrain. Let me... [a strong POP!]"
Matjaz Pihler with:
"Fearless, rampant small men link in on a giant moon? Not a step farther!" God.
Matjaz Pihler with:
Grantham's lenient Moon-gram feels like Plato's darn footprint. Nasa, man?
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Apollo mission marks a milestone. Fanfare that grand long-term pennant.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Gentleman sprang off a starship and sent an emotional moral to Kremlin.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Mere gentleman springs on "moon", annal talk. (Footprints filmed at Sahara!)
Hans-Peter Reich with:
"Fatal start: stepping on far moon harms (killed?) a gnome alien! No remnants!"
Hans-Peter Reich with:
One man marks range, one man pats flag. Third one (left in Apollo) transmits.
Mike Torr with:
Smart moon-landing sampler: "I float near a pennant after this long smoke."
Mike Torr with:
I gallop on a transform in them tanks! Eagle sits on a permanent land form.