Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2002
1st - Mike Torr with:
Identical twin brother =
Two interlaced in birth.
eq.2nd - Wayne Baisley with:
A case of mistaken identity =
Testimony indicates a fake.
eq.2nd - Matjaz Pihler with:
Solitude =
Soul diet.
Larry Brash with:
A juvenile detention centre =
End vice! Jail one teen nutter!
Larry Brash with:
The Director of Medical Services =
I made cleverest chief doctor, sir.
Joe Fathallah with:
Business Corporation =
One's basis: Corruption.
Joe Fathallah with:
Good and Evil =
God? No, a devil.
Joe Fathallah with:
Four cats =
Fur coats.
Joe Fathallah with:
Life after death =
I'd feel that fear.
Richard Grantham with:
A headstone =
One at Hades.
Richard Grantham with:
As dead as a doornail =
Said near a dodo, alas.
David A. Green with:
The Acid Bath Murderer =
Hardhearted tub crime.
Adrian Hickford with:
The digital camera =
I'd that clear image.
Adrian Hickford with:
Sent to prison ~
to stop sinner.
Adrian Hickford with:
Devils and Angels =
"Evil" and "Gladness".
Mattias Inghe with:
Ticks love ~
livestock.
Mattias Inghe with:
Life's a bitch and then you die =
Face duty, nihilist bonehead!
Jaybur with:
Eat yourself slim! =
My rule is, lose fat!
Jaybur with:
The genealogical line =
Hence I got all lineage.
Jaybur with:
Peals of laughter =
Aha, gleeful sport!
Jaybur with:
An oceanologist =
Noting a cool sea.
Meyran Kraus with:
Ritual combats =
A tribal custom.
Meyran Kraus with:
On Sabbatical Leave =
So can't be available.
Allan Morley with:
A fate worse than death =
A shot, a war, then defeat.
Allan Morley with:
Chicken noodle soup =
Sip one cooked lunch.
Allan Morley with:
It's only a game =
Smile at agony.
Allan Morley with:
The month of August =
The Ghost of Autumn.
Allan Morley with:
The Constellations =
Then list Leo, Octans,...
Allan Morley with:
Spaghetti bolognese ~
goes on the big plates.
Michael Omstead with:
Security envelopes =
Voyeur's pestilence.
Paul Pan with:
Vegetarianism =
Meat? I've grains!
Paul Pan with:
Vegetarianism =
'e's a meat virgin!
Paul Pan with:
Memento =
To Mneme!
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Greenhouse effect =
Huge trees offence.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Classical education =
Anti-social cul-de-sac.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Customer satisfaction =
Infamous store tactics.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Chairman =
A rich man.
Mike Torr with:
Military Precision =
Primarily no cities.
Mike Torr with:
Computer Virus =
Corrupt? Use VIM.
Mike Torr with:
Free radicals ~
carried fleas!
Ghud Sariffian with:
Heaven is a place on earth =
Aha, cheapens revelation!
1st - Jaybur with:
The singer Ray Charles =
He arranges the lyrics.
2nd - Michael Omstead with:
Pokemon trading cards =
*groan* Kids can't drop 'em!
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Gaston Leroux's novel "The Phantom of the Opera" =
Text of one rampant ghoul - he loves the soprano!
eq.3rd - Allan Morley with:
All the world's a stage =
God's law: all's theater.
eq.3rd - Santi Spadaro with:
A Chopin's piano prelude =
Applaud in piece's honor!
Joe Fathallah with:
"A Soldier's Way" =
Sad oil war, yes?
David A. Green with:
The Conan the Barbarian stories by Robert E. Howard =
A bent boy's hero, that bare-chested no-brain warrior.
Mattias Inghe with:
Fantasy and science fiction =
O, fancy incidents fascinate.
Mattias Inghe with:
Microphone =
More Chopin!
Jaybur with:
The dancer Robert Helpmann =
Rather bold men prance, then!
Jaybur with:
William Sydney Porter =
I will pen dreamy story.
Matjaz Pihler with:
Dire actor =
A director.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Singer Meat Loaf =
Large fat is on me!
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
"Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once" =
That silly secrecy in "Allo Allo"... She is very funny!
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Brit Pop =
Bop trip.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Weapons of mass destruction =
U.S. owns most - and it's for "peace"?????
2nd - Paul Pan with:
Palestinian Abu Nidal dead =
A anti-USA Bin Laden pal died.
eq.3rd - Mattias Inghe with:
The World Summit on Sustainable Development =
Men vowed a battle: Pollution ends this summer!
eq.3rd - Allan Morley with:
Death to America! =
I hate a democrat!
Wayne Baisley with:
Glorious Twelfth... ~
lit th'grouse fowl.
Joe Fathallah with:
Weapons of mass destruction =
In fact, U.S. dope-arses own most.
Jaybur with:
Earth Summit =
I'm utter sham?
Meyran Kraus with:
Low Consumer Confidence =
Income flow concerned us.
Matjaz Pihler with:
George versus Saddam =
Odd games, sure graves.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Artistes =
Tits & arse.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Miss World Beauty Contest =
See, it crowns that busty model.
3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
The Christian Church =
Ah, the rich rich cunts!
Joe Fathallah with:
The Marriage Vows =
Waiver the orgasm!
Mattias Inghe with:
Going down on a girl =
Wild groaning? Go on!
Mattias Inghe with:
The great pyramids =
Parted mighty arse.
Allan Morley with:
Bare breasts? ~
Bras are best!
Ghud Sariffian with:
The Kama Sutra =
Ah, mature task.
1st - Larry Brash with:
INTERNATIONAL DRIVER'S LICENSE
Need a new driver's license?
Too many points or other trouble?
Just want a license that can never be suspended?
Want an ID for nightclubs or hotel check-in?
Avoid tickets, fines, and mandatory driver's education?
Protect your privacy, and hide your identity.
The United Nations gave you the privilege to be driving freely throughout the world! (The Convention on International Road Traffic of 1949, & World Court Decision, The Hague, The Netherlands).
Take advantage of your rights. Order an International Driver's Licence that will never be suspended or revoked.
Confidentiality is assured
CALL NOW
We await your call 7 days per week, 24 hours per day, including weekends and holidays.
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An on-duty police officer pulled over a car and told its driver as he had been wearing a seatbelt, he'd automatically win over $1,949,724 in the National Driver Safety Competition.
"What are you going to do with your winnings?" said the officer.
"In truth, I reckon I'll try and get a valid driver's license again," he replied innocently.
"Dear Lord, no! Don't listen to that rotten idiot!" voiced his rotund curvy wife in the passenger's seat. "He's a real jerk when he's blind drunk!"
A very stoned cousin in the back, roused out of narcotic sleep, frowned at the cop very nervously and groaned, "Run, run! I knew we'd get us arrested and convicted in a stolen car!"
Suddenly, a tiny voice in the trunk, called out in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"
2nd - Allan Morley with:
Just say "Hey Culligan Man!" for crystal-clear, refreshing water at home.
Drinking plenty of water can be so easy! Your local, reliable Culligan Man has two convenient drinking water options for your family. Both provide a continuous supply of delicious water right at your fingertips...for just pennies a glass. Enjoy a state-of-the-art reverse osmosis drinking water system installed right at your kitchen sink. Or have refreshing bottled water delivered and served as you like it from a cooler. Now that's H2Ohhh so easy!
Click Here
Right now your Culligan Man has both on sale with a special introductory rental offer... just $3 a month for the first three months!
Click Here
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You are in luck, ignoble spammer! It occurs to me that I can provide you with a rather similar offer in return. You see, I've got a 'natural spring' of sorts here which would be most handy for 'recycling' all that sparkling crystal-clear water, and I want to return it fast for each thoughtless, inane, mannerless clown like you to drink, bathe in or wash clothes and things with.
So just say "Hey Cubicle Man!" and henceforth I'll fill 2-3 gallons-worth of glass jars every day, delivered here to your door! Or if you prefer, I can just take a leak in your coffee maker every morning! (That's right, as seen on TV.) Now that's *really* 'Piss Easy'!
(I'm not joking, rotten bitch - either piss off, or get pissed on.)
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Invictus,
by William Ernest Henley
2nd - Meyran Kraus with: [Some real samples of Bush's confusing speeches, anagrammed into his final one...]
"Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I- it's- I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values." (Visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001)
"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the- in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen." (Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001)
"And so, in my State of the- my State of the Union- or state- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years- 4,000 *hours* over the next- the rest of your life- of service to America. That's what I asked, 4,000 hours." (Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002)
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"Ladies or- the others, the gentlemen parts, of the jury. I come before you not as the indicted president of the united stars and stripes, but as an articulating, intertactual man. I'm sure of my flagitious innocence - so positive, I've waived my attorneys goodbye. I've no need for lawmen and their like, people of the jewish- the jury.
First of all, an unruly fact - the war was my idea. No, scratch that- that bit *wasn't* my idea. I'll prove the opponents right on this point. But the events were innocuous. Overall, the millions that perished, these brave servants of the constellation, were *not* efficacious. They mattered. The Afghans were in our hair, and something sternal had to be done.
Last of all, the business-corruption or whatnot. What extravagation! Watch my mouth, folks - I've never handled, examined or *grasped* that issue!
...Your choice is laughingly clear."
eq.3rd - Mattias Inghe with:
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why, God? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
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So, the awfully mighty Lord seems to have had a funny type of humor. Between us, did He once honestly do this? We might never know. Now, rest assured, if God said anything firm to the Judean fellow Job, he sure didn't speak English, did he?
eq.3rd - Paul Pan with:
"The Israelis know that if the Iraqi or the Iranian army came across the Jordan River, I would personally grab a rifle, get in a ditch, and fight and die" (former US President Bill Clinton at a fund-raising dinner).
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Eerie oral intern skirt-ejaculator, anti-Vietnam draft-dodger, bribed-in-HQ grass-whiff inhaler, Hillary-in-Senate panhandler, denied stating this:
"I would do anything for Israel - apart from a circumcision"
David A. Green with:
Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu's 'Green Tea and Other Ghost Stories' =
Goose flesh, jitters and insane horror haunted these pages.
David A. Green with:
'Hand Shadows to be Thrown Upon the Wall' by Henry Bursil =
Enthrall! Shows how to shape bunny rabbit, owl, ruddy hen.
1st - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Emperor Octavian =
Captain over Rome.
2nd - Jaybur with:
Saint Teresa =
A neat Sister!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Ferdinand Magellan =
Find & name large land.
Wayne Baisley with:
Friedrich August von Hayek =
I vouch Keynes a right fraud.
David A. Green with:
The wrestler Kendo Nagasaki =
Karate strike legend has won!
Jaybur with:
William Ernest Henley =
Neat lines: I rhyme well.
Jaybur with:
Charles Macintosh =
Chances hailstorm.
Michael Omstead with:
Ziggy Marley and Peter Tosh =
Reggae tzars yield pot hymn.
Hans-Peter Reich with:
Jonathan Frakes =
Ha! Jon's a 'Trek' fan!
Mike Torr with:
Ben Kingsley =
Leg be skinny.
Ghud Sariffian with:
Actress Thora Birch =
A rather cross bitch.
1st - David A. Green with:
The Miss World Beauty Contest =
Brunettes mostly, so I watched.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, Brisbane =
Pleasant, no-brain bears you can like.
3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
Microsoft Instant Text Messenger Service =
Tests confirm it covers Internet sex games.
Wayne Baisley with:
The Duchess of Yorkie Bar =
O, the risks of debauchery!
Joe Fathallah with:
The Loan Company =
The ploy: Con a man.
David A. Green with:
The Somerfields Supermarket chain =
Merchants of pasteurised milk here.
David A. Green with:
Microsoft Frontpage Technical Support =
Oops, if PC falters contact them, or ring up!
Mattias Inghe with:
The church of Scientology =
Focus, get "holy", con the rich.
Jaybur with:
The Corsa Life =
O, feel this car!
Jaybur with:
National Obesity Forum =
Boo! man is routinely fat.
Meyran Kraus with:
Taj Mahal, Agra, India =
A glad maharaja in it!
Meyran Kraus with:
Vatican Galleries =
Art is evangelical.
Michael Omstead with:
The United States Postal Service =
Test it out -- send heaviest parcels!
Paul Pan with:
The Scarsdale diet =
Hard edict: eat less.
Paul Pan with:
The Atkins diet =
Thin-steak diet.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Empire State Building =
I am entitled "Super big".
Mike Torr with:
Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament =
Placard-men can roam, refuting aims.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Swan
and Shadow by John Hollander, anagrammed into another shape poem.
2nd - Paul Pan and Nanaea with:
Over 3,800 anagrammed first
names from around the world.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
William
Shakespeare: Sonnet XIV
David Bourke with:
Swan
and Shadow by John Hollander, anagrammed into another shape poem.
Joe Fathallah with:
Love's Secret
Joe Fathallah with:
Rules
for Behaviour
Matjaz Pihler with:
[The difference (i.e. one text minus the other) between Republic and Democracy.]
"Republic:
Authority is derived through the election by the people of public officials best fitted to represent them.
Attitude toward property is respect for laws and individual rights, and a sensible economic procedure.
Attitude toward law is the administration of justice in accord with fixed principles and established evidence,
with a strict regard to consequences.
A greater number of citizens and extent of territory may be brought within its compass.
Avoids the dangerous extreme of either tyranny or mobocracy. Results in statesmanship, liberty, reason, justice,
contentment, and progress.
Is the "standard form" of government throughout the world."
(U. S. Army Training Manual No. 2000-25 (1928-1932), no longer in usage.)
—
"Democracy:
A government of the masses.
Authority derived through mass meeting or any other form of "direct" expression.
Results in mobocracy.
Attitude toward property is comunistic-negating property rights.
Attitude toward law is that the will of the majority shall regulate. whether it be based upon deliberation or governed by passion, prejudice, and impulse, without restraint or regard to consequences.
Results in demagogism license, agitation, discontent, anarchy."
(Same source as above.)
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The difference constricted and thin,
Politicians shout this riff, 'democracy',
but do we expect the truth in sin?
Entrapped in a world
of toxic benzene vapours
I bitter entertainers find,
still suffer burnt and blind.