Complete list of nominations for October 2004

OCTOBER 2004 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2004

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mad Hatter's question to Alice: "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" =
Ah, I got it! I created an answer: "It seems the two have inky-dark quills!"

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The number Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter =
Archimedes' correct claim, "In brief, 'three' is off. I compute it true to Athene."

eq.3rd - Jaybur with:
"All I want is a room somewhere
Far away from the cold night air" =
We mean fair lady's emotional wish for warmth... large chair too.

eq.3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Yasser Arafat flown to Hopital d'Instruction des Armees de Percy in France. =
A fancy theory is... Palestinians' world-famous President treated for cancer.

David Bourke with:
George Walker "Dubya" Bush, the President of the United States of America =
Absolute defeat's coming? Great! Auf wiedersehen, butthead! (PS: "Hi!" to Kerry!)

Larry Brash with:
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more =
The idea can be to murder some French or... no encore!

Jesse Frankovich with:
"Our enemies... never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." =
Wow. What a moron. 'Dubya' ever seen incorporating stupendous oral ineptitude here. Unthrone monkey!

Meyran Kraus with:
The General Elections on November, Two Thousand Four =
All of the voters in the US need to renounce a moron - G.W.B.

Matthew O'Dempsey with:
Iraq explosives missing from military zone, says UN watchdog =
Zarqawi plans master suicide missions for thy gloomy vexing.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Nikolai Andreevich Rimsky-Korsakov's piano tune 'The Flight of the Bumblebee' =
Lovely high speed hum (best of an OK bunch). Sir, I leave no time for kit kat in break!

THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

This month's challenge was to anagrammatically answer the question,
"Who, you may ask, will be the next American President?"

1st - Richard Grantham with:
I expect Dubya has won: a new term is more than likely.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Actually, we semi-want Kerry. He isn't a dim xenophobe.

3rd - Allan Morley with:
A Republican who likes money and the extremist way.

David Bourke with:
Bush? Kerry? Andy Williams? The tea woman? One, I expect!

David Bourke with:
Well, Kerry, I expect! I mean, not... oh whatsisname... Dubya?

David Bourke with:
"Another sexed-up betrayal with me?" - Monica Lewinsky

Larry Brash with:
Kerry? You expect him to win? What a sensible lead man!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Um... Kerry has won many a debate, so I expect he'll win it.

Jesse Frankovich with:
My call? Either. Yet I do know Bush was an extreme pain.

Jesse Frankovich with:
We nominate Bush and Kerry, yet each will impose tax.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Action will yet make the damn Bush years expire now.

Scott Gardner with:
Why, they nominated some warlike Texas Republican!

Toby Gottfried with:
Ahem! Exit Bush. Kerry? No way! We admit: Clinton. Please?

Toby Gottfried with:
Exit Bush. How may Kerry please me ? I wanted a Clinton.

Toby Gottfried with:
Many expect a small Kerry win, but, wait, he needs Ohio.

Toby Gottfried with:
Hey! One (the dimwit Texas Republican) only makes war!

David A. Green with:
Balls! An inexpert Democrat may win White House key.

Adrian Hickford with:
Bush: "I mean, I expect Kerry to win all the way, and some."

Adrian Hickford with:
"Extremely tricky... White House pawn, Osama bin Laden?"

Adrian Hickford with:
"Bush ain't exactly ideal, man. We women hope it's Kerry."

Adrian Hickford with:
Haiku:
Weepy, welcome
Tony Blair and
his next master.

Jaybur with:
So, nation: want a chimp-eyed, extremely warlike Bush?

Jaybur with:
Bush explains: let ME take on terra my way, in cowhide.

Jaybur with:
Some here, think Texan is top: Dubya may well win race.

Meyran Kraus with:
While my camp is the sane 'Kerry', I would bet on a Texan...

Meyran Kraus with:
Ah, 'Dismal' Bush? 'Yawn' Kerry?... I expect no win to elate me!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
O, woe is me! Extinct Ralph Nader a key: may let Bush win!

Matthew O'Dempsey with:
Why Kerry wins: U.S. Election made into alphabet exam.

Paul Pan with:
Moore's "stupid white men" elect a lax whey-brain Yank.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Yankee shows me Mr. Idiot, wealthy Texan Republican.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Mad Bush?
Kerry?
Tip: Tie!
(We'll see an income tax anyhow!)

Rick Rothstein with:
Kerry claimed, "No new taxes!" Bush won't! Ahem, a lie. Pity...

Rick Rothstein with:
I eye the wise tax 'n' spend liberal, not a rummy whacko.

Christopher Sturdy with:
An adult (i.e. Kerry!) We hope we can listen to him by Xmas.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Many a dire 'toxic' lawyer's keen to help Bush team win.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Dubya team hires 'toxic' lawyers keen to help man win.

View with:
Dry up! Anyhow, the next one will be America's mistake.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender says, "But you're a duck."

"Yep, that is very true," says the duck.

"And you talk, too!" exclaims the bartender.

"Indeed I do," says the duck, "I'd like a large beer, and one of your finest sandwiches."

"Certainly," says the bartender, "it's just we don't get to see too many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around these parts?"

"I'm working for a builder in this area," replies the duck.

So then the duck has his beer and sandwich, pays up and leaves.

One day, the ringleader of a circus comes into the pub, and the bartender tells him about his clever friend, the talking duck.

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "ask him to come over and see me."

The next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, you're in luck. I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "where?"

"At the circus," says the bartender.

"The circus?"

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"That place with all those animals? With the great big tent?"

"Yes, that's right," says the bartender.

The duck looks confused.

"So what do they want with a plasterer?"

=

This duck walks into a crowded city pub and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says "No, sir." The duck says, "Cheers!" and leaves.

The next day the duck is back in the pub. He says, "I'm curious. Are you certain you don't have any fruit left? Such as juicy little grapes, by any chance?" The bartender says no, and the duck goes away.

Two days later, the duck's back. He walks up to the bar, and sees the bartender. "Hello, I'm here again, bartender! Might you have some nice fresh grapes to cheer me up this evening?"

This irritates the bartender, Harry, who's extremely tired and wound up, and he loses his composure at this juncture. He starts to twitch: he's boiling mad. He screams at the duck, "Listen to me, you wretched, scrawny little bird! You heard me! I told you no, I didn't, and if you keep asking me, I will nail both your thick, webbed feet to the floor, OK?"

The duck seems a little startled at his reaction and hurries away.

Despite this, the duck returns a day later. He walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Got any nails?"

The bartender replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Seven Ages of Woman

3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Statue of Liberty Inscription:

...Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me: I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Emma Lazarus

=

Michael Moore's pledge:

Voting George Bush is to hammer home the Final Nail in the Coffin of Freedom.
It's easy to be deterred but send us useless, lazy people to surrender the settee; to do their supreme duty.

Destroy terrorism my way or the US may die.

David Bourke with:
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, the Conservative Member of Parliament for Henley-On-Thames, and the editor of The Spectator magazine =
Has he no shame? After Mr Bigley's fate (death), the comment fat toff expressed over Liverpool jeopardized career ambition. (No Lennon fan, then!)

CP with:
Can there really be an above average chance for John Kerry to win the election in early November for the presidency of the United States? =
Bet the navy hero nominee vet bloke has January Eighteen preference over the sly Crawford teetotaller's incoherency and fabrication.

Tony Crafter with:
'Thank you for the music, the songs they're singing,
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing;
Who could live without it, I ask in all honesty,
What would life be,
Without a song or a dance where are we?
So I say, thank you for the music,
For giving it to me.'
=
Chic Abba totty Agnetha Faltskog, The Girl With Golden Hair, enjoying her work as she eulogises over music, intertwining it with thoughts of youth.
And now? Total ennui. Kinkily reclusive, she wryly shies away from the hoodoo of untrue fame.

Toby Gottfried with:
"Gosh, I just don't think I ever said
I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden.
It's kind of one of those exaggerations.
... We're using every asset at our disposal
to get Osama bin Laden."
=
So 'into' debates against John Kerry,
did George Bush lie about some words
spoken earlier, wanting to get our attention
to a Mideast invasion of
Saddam "Axis-of-Evil" Hussein?

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with:
Shakespeare's 17th sonnet anagrammed five different ways, with an additional constraint

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Shakespeare's 76th sonnet anagrammed into a paraphrase (up to a point), its theme being the Baconian controversy

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam;
And loud was his mirth,
For he knew that on Earth,
There were only two balls and he had 'em!
=
Wicked madam, aware of God's plan,
Determinedly takes him in hand;
Hey, why aim to enthral?
When a hand round these balls,
Gets her total control of her man!

David Bourke with:
Flash! Ah! Saviour of the universe!

Tony Crafter with:
Over-tens = Ever snot
Over-eighteens = See voting here
Over-twenties = It renews vote
Over-thirties = I revise troth
Over-forties = Or ever so fit
Over-fifties = If ever so fit
Over-sixties = Sex? It is over
Over-seventies = I've severe snot
Over-eighties = Give theories
Over-nineties = I senior event
Over-hundreds = Shroud venders

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
There is nothing so dangerous =
as the gun-endorsing hero is to
the nation herds' rousing egos.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Under-Tens = Need turns.
Under-eighteens = Enduring seethe.
Under-twenties = Weird, nuts teen!
Under-thirties = Intrusted heir.
Under-forties = So true friend.
Under-fifties = Desire: Fit & Fun.
Under-sixties = It's ruined sex.
Under-seventies = Ends true envies.
Under-eighties = Urge in the side.
Under-nineties = Need urine tins.
Under-hundreds = Shudder. End. Urn.

Virge with:
When the limerick's too easy to do:
Anagrammy's Awards -- they're for you.
~
The shrewd sods often say,
"Try, howe'er you may,
A limerick anagram too."

The Anagrammy Awards

OCTOBER 2004 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY