Complete list of nominations for January, 2012

JANUARY 2012 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2012

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Ivan Andonov with:
United States Marine Corps =
Its men urinated at corpses.

Eq2nd - Adie Pena with:
Italian captain Francesco Schettino =
Fatal inaction in catastrophic scene.

Eq2nd - nedesto with:
1. Romney
2. Santorum
3. Gingrich
4. Paul
5. Perry
6. Bachmann
=
1. Inhuman
2. Creepy
3. Grumpy
4. Boring
5. Charlatan
6. Mrs. "No!"

Adie Pena with:
New Year's resolutions =
Seriously earnest now?

Rosie Perera with:
There's something wrong in this country when ~
morons, when eighteen, own thirty guns. Christ!

Adie Pena with:
The weather in January? =
Yeah, I rather want June!

Rosie Perera with:
Rick Santorum Would 'Invalidate' Gay Marriages =
"Yuck! Male lovers draw irritation, damaging USA."

View with:
Egyptian court continues trial of Mubarak =
Prosecution back in to maul a tyrant figure

Rosie Perera with:
The Long Island Serial Killer =
I'd stalk girls here, all online.

Rosie Perera with:
Congress can trade on insider info with impunity?! =
Yes, I find corruption and crime set in Washington.

Rosie Perera with:
Outside norms, NH prefers Mitt =
The first Mormon U.S. president?

Rick Rothstein with:
The United States Marine Corps soldiers =
Crude lads start to piss on their enemies.

View with:
Italy cruise ship 'Costa Concordia' =
Chaos, corpses, a loud cry. Titanic II?

Rosie Perera with:
GOP Candidate Mitt Romney? =
A party committee nodding.

Rosie Perera with:
The sunken Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia =
I run close, hit unanticipated rocks in sea. Chaos!

Dean Mayer with:
The Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia =
I could hear Captain Schettino's "Ciao!", sir

Dean Mayer with:
The horrendous death drama in Italy =
That's another dream holiday ruined

Christopher Sturdy with:
An idiot manages to capsize that cruise liner =
Rome's Italian Guard seize Captain Schettino.

David Bourke with:
The cruise liner the Costa Concordia =
A hole occurred...Schettino is a cretin!

Rosie Perera with:
Eastman Kodak Files For Bankruptcy =
As film factory tanked, broke up, sank.

Harshal M. with:
English Wikipedia's Blackout =
Idea will thus be kicking SOPA.

Rosie Perera with:
Newt Gingrich wins in South Carolina =
Nation/Church wailing: "It's worsening!"

Rosie Perera with:
"Winningest coach" Joe Paterno dies =
Chastised, an ejection, now gone. RIP!

Rosie Perera with:
An oil embargo =
O, go blame Iran!

Rosie Perera with:
Chinese Lunar New Year, the Year of the Dragon =
A funny astrology adherence in there, we hear.

David Bourke with:
"Accidentally" falling into a ship's lifeboat =
Bang! Silly old Captain Schettino! A life "Fail"!

Maurice Goddard with:
Oldest dinosaur nest site found =
Fossils in stone turned out dead!

Rosie Perera with:
The Federal Meat Inspection Act =
Detect encephalitis at one farm.

Tony Crafter with:
Commandos have rescued pirate hostages in Somalia =
Go! As macho marines set loose aid captives unharmed!

Tony Crafter with:
Commandos have rescued pirate hostages in Somalia =
As macho marines set loose, aid captives go unharmed!

Rosie Perera with:
The Syrian government =
No amnesty, never! Right!

Meyran Kraus with:
Israel's relations with Iran =
So war is near, still in the air..

Dharam Khalsa with:
Woman ā€œmarriesā€ a building to protest its demolition =
Girl submits a prim, "I do" to old inanimate stone tower.

Rob Bretveld with:
Florida's Republican primary =
I dump rally, brace for aspirin.

Rosie Perera with:
Herald recalls dog won at ~
The Golden Collar Awards.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - nedesto with:
The Superior called the sisters together informing them in dismay, "And, as of now, we have a case of gonorrhea in the convent!"
=
"Yes! Praise Heaven!" sang a nun coming over to the front of the room as she cheered, "We're so tired of swilling that damn Chianti!"

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Simplified Commandments:

- One God.
- No idols.
- Honor His name, the Sabbath and your parents.
- Don't kill, cheat, steal, lie or covet.
=
Online Code:

- Honor all porn.
- Share LOLCats.
- Bid on dumb trash.
- See a mad video and comment on it.
- tyep somethign fast
- 'Like' this!!!

3rd - Adie Pena with:
Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Yearā€™s Eve. Middle age is when youā€™re forced to. [Bill Vaughn]
=
Old age is when you go to a 'how-cheerful-but-damn-noisy' New Year's Eve party, and you're wheeled out STILL ALIVE!

Maurice Goddard with:
Duchess of Cambridge to be a Scout leader as well as patron of four charities =
Guaranteed a boss, she's a fair-faced cool bit of crumpet! Scouts will adore her!

Tony Crafter with:
Treated my wife Susanna to this posh fish pedicure the other day. Well, brothers, I must say, I ~
am truly impressed with the result I saw! Yes siree! Those piranha fish don't f*c* about do they!

David Bourke with:
The singer David Bowie is to receive his bus pass today=
"Best wishes to you!"
Saga Deathbed Service
(R.I.P. Division)

Dharam Khalsa with:
Court frees Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim =
Familiar point: obscure sodomy laws are a pain in the rear.

Adie Pena with:
The Italian sculptor and anatomist Leonardo da Vinci: ~
"David's small tool, i.e. un-epic hard-on, ain't an attraction!"

Rosie Perera with:
The Minnesota Study of Identical Twins Raised Apart =
Adopted in infancy, it seems two share in adult traits.

View with:
1. Whiffle
2. Spanghew
3. Axinomancy
4. Breeches Part
5. Poltophagy
6. Lipogram
7. Crowkeeper
8. Gyascutus
9. Hapax Legomenon
10. Mytacism=
1. Flapping noise
2. "Away, frog!"
3. Hatchet-expert
4. Gal as guy
5. Champ!
6. Skip E ("A raw mixup")
7. No crows cheep
8. Beastly ogre
9. Only once
10. "Hmmm..."

David Bourke with:

I have accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles tonight...going for a dump might spell trouble. =
Bad call! I might get a sore bum if I could pass all the seven letters, wholly completing a Bingo word!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Slainte to the many Scots all over the world going to a traditional Burns Night supper on the twenty-fifth of January.
=
Very jocular affair in dingy north. Not only haggis with neeps n tatties, but then that lot on to slurp a lot of wee drams!

David Bourke with:
Jean-Claude Mas, the president of Poly Implant ProthĆØse =
Once-phenomenal pert tits are, alas, just floppy...he did 'em!

Adie Pena with:
"The Star-Spangled Banner" by the poet Francis Scott Key =
Party thinks the flag can not be respected by Senators.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
THE HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME.
(As voted by 'Men's Health' magazine)

1. Jennifer Aniston
2. Raquel Welch
3. Marilyn Monroe
4. Britney Spears
5. Madonna
6. Ursula Andress
7. Bettie Page
8. Pamela Anderson
9. Jane Fonda
10. Angelina Jolie
11. Sharon Stone
12. Scarlett Johansson
13. Catherine Deneuve
14. Megan Fox
15. Jenny McCarthy
16. Christie Brinkley
17. Anna Nicole Smith
18. Shakira
19. Heather Locklear
20. Heidi Klum
=
1. Because she's worth it!
2. A caveman's moll
3. The blonde gentlemen preferred
4. A little nuts?
5. Like a virgin? Er... no
6. Left James Bond shaken and stirred
7. Oh... Huh?
8. Inane Amazon
9. aka 'Hanoi Jane'
10. "My enemy!" (Jennifer Aniston)
11. Basically horny
12. A Manhattan starlet
13. French icon
14. Comely and American
15. - ditto -
16. Joel's uptown girl
17. Late American heiress
18. Ah, sexy hips!
19. On 'T. J. Hooker'
20. 'Seal's German queen

Eq2nd - Meyran Kruas with:
How's Your Logic? Take a few minutes to study these riddles carefully:

1. They found the missing stripper swinging from the high ceiling in one cheap hotel room in Albania. The spacious room was totally empty except for one round puddle of water under her, and it was locked from the inside! Explain the oddity there.

2. The inmate lies dead in the coldest night of the month in one Polish interment facility. He is locked in and there is one mighty entry wound in his wet chest, but no one in this place or in the area did it. How could it be?

3. When I was going to Telluride, I met this guy with seven brides. Each of the brides had seven cats, each of the cats had seven kittens. Kittens, cats, my pal, those brides - how many are there in Telluride?

4. Dotty is having a party tomorrow and has to borrow a cup of sugar from a guy living upstairs - plus half of this total amount that Dotty is taking. Dotty finally brings back two cups of sugar. What's missing?

=

I suppose most of you weren't baffled and easily guessed the answers, as these stories are universally known... But it takes a special sort of brain to find the hidden flaws and twists secretly lurking within the enigmas:

1. Okay, from past experience, I guess that the thing which boggles the mind is a scruffy hotel in Albania having a big room that locks from the inside.

2. Why would the dead body seem odd at all, and why doubt the innocent people in that particular facility? You must have skipped a letter. Reading this riddle again might be of help.

3. As of now? Approximately twenty-five hundred, according to a recent population survey.

4. The letter E is missing.

[From Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's short story collection 'The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes':

"Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
"To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time."
"The dog did nothing in the night-time."
"That was the curious incident."]

Eq2nd - nedesto with:
Twelve young priests were going to be ordained into the order. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked, while a blond big-breasted model danced nude before them.

First, all the priests had small bells attached to their penises. Then they were told that anyone whose bell so much as tinkles while the model pranced in front of them wasn't going to be ordained, because he hadn't reached a state of spiritual purity. ~

So, the nubile amorous model danced heatedly before the first candidate without any reaction at all. As she went down the line, the same response was repeated from all the priests until she got to the remaining priest.

As she danced by, his bell began to ring so loudly indeed that it flew clattering away to the ground. Mortified, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell...

When behind him, all the other bells started to ring.

Adie Pena with:
The naughty governor Rick Perry's unintelligent and cheesy statement to slyly win screwy homophobes and Christians in America: ~
"There's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military, and your kids can't openly celebrate Christmas."

Adie Pena with:
"There's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military, and your kids can't openly celebrate Christmas." =
There's something so ashamedly wrong in this country when governor Rick Perry cynically essayed that inane statement in public.

Rosie Perera with:
All the Republican Candidates to be included in the Iowa Republican Caucus on Tuesday:
1. Michele Bachmann
2. Herman Cain
3. Newt Gingrich
4. Jon Huntsman
5. Ron Paul
6. Rick Perry
7. Buddy Roemer
8. Mitt Romney
9. Rick Santorum
Possible write-in candidates:
10. Sarah Palin
11. Donald Trump
=
1. Stupid erring bitch
2. Chump dropped out (due to unmanly harassment)
3. Displaced own brides
4. Rich leader in UT
5. Crackpot libertarian, he'd decriminalise cannabis
6. Intent: ban gay men in US army
7. Who?!
8. Rich Mormon
9. Anal lube/crap (cruel in-joke)
10. Dunce, lunatic
11. Wealthy man, a snot

Adie Pena with:
GOD'S TOP TEN NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS *
1. Have a Little Talk with the Tea Party
2. Be Nicer
3. Go Back and Get My Master's Degree Online
4. Occupy Hades
5. Spend More Time With Family
6. Deal With My Twitter Addiction
7. Set Realistic Goals and Take Reasonable Steps To Meet Them
8. Do My Bit to Help the Environment
9. Consult with Steve Jobs
10. Negotiate with the Mayans

=

1. Attest they know where I stand. Gently castigate them.
2. Attempt to work on my Wrath.
3. I might teach in College.
4. Inspired by the Arab Spring, time to reclaim Hell.
5. Daddy to bond with Boy Jesus.
6. I've got Einstein, Aristotle, Apostles et al in Heaven.
7. Systematise "World Peace" system.
8. Keep "Havoc on Nature" abatement.
9. Meet IT's iCloud man.
10. Set "End of the World."

Dharam Khalsa with:
Top Ten Predictions From Edgar Cayce
10 Bimini Road and Atlantis
9 Death of Two Presidents
8 Collpase of Soviet Union
7 Stock Market Crash and Great Depression
6 Revolutions in Foreign Lands
5 Rise and Fall of Adolph Hitler
4 Jews Returning to Israel
3 Alliance Between the US and Russia
2 Shift of the Earth's Poles
1 His Own Death
=
10 Factor that killed an island: laser crystal use
9 Great ones (guess who?) did not survive strife between capital and labor
8 Freedom and justice won
7 Deep focal hardships
6 Confrontations on other continents
5 War ended his harsh reign
4 Anti-Semitism in Europe
3 Flipflop - loathing to allies
2 NASA reports it
1 He died of a stroke

Dharam Khalsa with:
The top ten songs at the end of the year, based on the number of cheap online downloads:

1. "Sexy and I Know It" - LMFAO
2. "We Found Love" - Rihanna, featuring Calvin Harris
3. "It Will Rain" - Bruno Mars
4. "Good Feeling" - Flo Rida
5. "Set Fire To The Rain" - Adele
6. "The One That Got Away" - Katy Perry
7. "Someone Like You" - Adele
8. "Paradise" - Coldplay
9. "Moves Like Jagger" - Maroon Five, featuring Christina Aguilera
10. "Young, Wild and Free" - Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, featuring Bruno Mars=
A line of lyrics of each, and an offhand annotation:

1. "Girls be looking like, 'Damn, he fly!'" - Aggravating.
2. "Yellow diamonds in the light" - Foolproof pop.
3. "If you ever leave me" - A stalker aim?
4. "I got a brand new spirit" - Or, ego?
5. "Laying with you, I could stay there" - Adored.
6. "In another life" - Age fourteen?
7. "We were born and raised in a summer haze" - Outdone.
8. "She expected the world" - No sale.
9. "Kiss me 'til you're drunk" - Affront to a brain.
10. "We're just having fun" - A gangsta rap.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Ten of the less common, yet super-deadly snakes:

- Golden lancehead
- Death adder
- Twig snake
- Burrowing asp
- Hognosed pitviper
- Spiny tree viper
- Coral cobra
- Mexican jumping viper
- Mamushi
- Water cobra=
Six Republican reptiles:

- Top-viewed Mitt Romney
- Soap opera-ed Newt Gingrich
- Devolved Ron Paul
- Gay-obsessed Rick Santorum
- Sorehead Rick Perry
- Gaga WASP Michele Bachmann
- Defeated Jon Huntsman

Christopher Sturdy with:
Oh, The grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men;
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
And he marched them down again.
And when they were up, they were up,
And when they were down, they were down,
And when they were only half-way up,
They were neither up nor down.

=
Not enough thought went into the plot of the nursery rhyme war.
How can we deny the fact you knew not at the midway path whether people needed to walk forward or run home harder?

Why deny he led when unhappy, when muddled; and we hear he hid when he heeded an enemy.

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Poet's Calendar

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
A Strange Wild Song

Eq3rd - David Bourke with:
Happy birthday Kate! As the Duchess of Cambridge turns 30, FEMAIL brings you 30 facts about our future queen

Eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:

THE CURRY CONTEST

(If you manage to read this story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you.)

For any of you who have lived in Natal, you'll know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off around June/July. It takes up a large portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in Pietermaritzburg.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at the Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking them for directions to the beer garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I duly decided I would accept."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

MADHU'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY....
Judge # 1 -- A little heavy on tomato, yet amusingly tangy.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. Dammit, these people are crazy.

DIPALI'S PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting flavour, needs more peppers added to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- My God! Keep this out of the reach of children! I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer on seeing the distress on my face.

PADMA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent, peppery, firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, with good use of chilli peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call security. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I've been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back to stop me gagging; now my spine is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting decidedly pissed from all the beer.

GANDHI'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sachika, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 34-stone woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?
~
BABOO'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- A meaty, strong curry. Freshly ground Cayenne peppers do bestow a considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Good-to-average beef curry, could use more tomato. I must admit, the kick of the chilli makes quite a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are buzzing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The woman contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Sachika saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly onto it from the pitcher. I wonder if I have burnt my lips off. It hacks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them, the jackasses.

VERISHNA'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian curry. A good balance of spices.
Judge # 2 -- Hoorah! The best yet! Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Just superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I am without doubt going to shit myself if I fart and I am worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems keen to stand behind me except that Sachika. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my arse with a snow cone ice-cream.

SHAKALAKA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Okay, but tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am a bit worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I would not feel a thing. I have lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is filled with rushing water. My khaki shirt is covered with curry which dribbled unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava which matches my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I have decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

BHAKTI'S TOENAIL-CURLING COOKBOOK CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Ah, the perfect ending. This is a nice, enjoyable curry blend with bite. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced textbook curry. Not too mild but not too hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he is going to make it. Poor man; I wonder how he would have reacted to a really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report.

Adie Pena with:
NEW YEAR'S POEM
By Margaret Avison

The Christmas twigs crispen and needles rattle
Along the window-ledge.
A solitary pearl
Shed from the necklace spilled at last weekā€™s party
Lies in the suety, snow-luminous plainness
Of morning, on the window-ledge beside them.
And all the furniture that circled stately
And hospitable when these rooms were brimmed
With perfumes, furs, and black-and-silver
Crisscross of seasonal conversation, lapses
Into its previous largeness.
I remember
Anneā€™s rose-sweet gravity, and the stiff grave
Where cold so little can contain;
I mark the queer delightful skull and crossbones
Starlings and sparrows left, taking the crust,
And the long loop of winter wind
Smoothing its arc from dark Arcturus down
To the bricked corner of the drifted courtyard,
And the still window-ledge.
Gentle and just pleasure
It is, being human, to have won from space
This unchill, habitable interior
Which mirrors quietly the light
Of the snow, and the new year.

=

IN MEMORIAM
[Lord Alfred Tennyson]

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

AULD LANG SYNE
[Robert Burns]

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

ONE DRINK, RIGHT?

Distilled refreshments, screwdrivers
Attract bombed people, juiced revelers.
Where's the cellar, or the corkscrew?
What's the spirit? Wow, how time flew!

Trick the tart, pop the champagne;
Distorted senselessness we entertain.
Lost on brands, I'm this dastard inebriate.
Tomorrow's fresh start can wait!

Warm sessions filled with happiness;
Crass commercialism nevertheless.
Transmitted discomforts that we revive.
Cheers! It's splendid I'm still alive!

USE NO KAHLUA

Keep the coffee cocktail;
Won't swallow white wine.
Wish for pot to inhale?
Absinthe's fine!

nedesto with:
On My Thirty-Third Birthday,
January 22, 1821 - a poem by Lord Byron

Through life's dull road, so dim and dirty,
I have dragg'd to three-and-thirty.
What have these years left to me?
Nothing--except thirty-three.

=

My Mother's Seventy-Fourth Birthday Party,
January 22, 2012 - by Ted

Long ago you did transport me,
Older yet wiser; eight-and-forty.
Vexing hatched that blond haired third,
Earthily haled, hitherto mirth.

Christopher Sturdy with:
"Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em,
And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.
And the great fleas themselves, in turn, have greater fleas to go on,
While these again have greater still, and greater still, and so on."
=
A Tale of Beasts and Tenants

See a neat fractal world involving parasites,
Loan a bit of Latin grammar; that heightens the delights.
A self-referential verse he likes, all the levels are foregone;
The devil's in the detail feels Augustus De Morgan.

Dharam Khalsa with:
A Spring Sonnet
by Arthur Henry James

Last night beneath the mockery of the moon
I heard the sudden startled whisperings
Of wakened birds settling their restless wings;
The North-east brought his word of gladness, "Soon!"
And all the night with wonder was a-swoon.
A soul had breathed into long-dreaming things;
Some unseen hand hovered above the strings:
Some cosmic chord had set the earth in tune.
And when I rose I saw the Bay arrayed
In her grey robe against the coming heat.
A pulse awoke within the stirring street--
The wattle-gold upon the pavements thrown,
And through the quiet of the colonnade
The smoky perfume of boronia blown.
=
A Springtime Theme

Amidst winter's bleak and rough hold we fight,
To evoke a jaunty shade of pasture green.
Whistling on harsh winds, the reeds, serene
Enough to banish the madness of our plight,
And cast on weary minds fleeting delight;
Ere unto death our bodies slowly wean,
And go in search of what man hath never seen,
Yet, know that on her path spring sheds no light.
Walk not, therefore, in misery, as spring
Stretches her barren hands, but rather sing;
As the reed shoots, with devotion to the wind
Admire the green, to color thou ought to cling;
As the baby in the womb, whom the Lord may bring
To Earth's banquet, the colors and seasons entwined.

The Anagrammy Awards

JANUARY 2012 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY