Complete list of nominations for Sepember, 2013

SEPTEMBER 2013 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2013

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
The Simpsons: Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie =
Matt Groening has made prime roles a big smash!

2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom =
Meek fellow to a grand old man.

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Claude Monet, Springtime =
Pictured a single moment.

Christopher Sturdy with:
That Was The Week That Was, starring David Frost =
What fits we had, thanks to great TV satire's draw.

View with:
Oscar winner for male actor =
Crown a star for cinema role.

Rosie Perera with:
Vincent Van Gogh's "Sunset at Montmajour" =
Canvas just got hung: an investor moment!

Scott Gardner with:
Peter Paul Rubens, Adam and Eve =
Serve nude man a true bad apple.

Mark Huffman with:
Miley spanks a dwarf during concert =
Cyrus: sing, dance, romp, twerk, and fail.

Rosie Perera with:
The American television series "Breaking Bad" =
See a berserk idea: inviting meth lab scenario.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Grand Theft Auto Five for the Playstation =
A petrolhead? It's a fat guy in front of the TV!

Tony Crafter with:
The US motion picture 'Behind The Candelabra' is a film ~
about the hidden man in that music pro Liberace's life.

Ellie Dent with:
Claude Monet's La Pie, The Magpie =
See a theme: I paint cold plumage!

nedesto with:
The Scream, a famous painting by Edvard Munch =
Madman's face much overhung in batty despair.

Dharam with:
The television series "Breaking Bad" =
It's best in seeking dealer behavior.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
10 Plagues of Egypt

1. Blood
2. Frogs
3. Lice
4. Wild animals or flies
5. Pestilence
6. Boils
7. Hail
8. Locusts
9. Darkness
10. Death of the firstborn

=

10 Blights of Modern Life

1. Cancer
2. Obesity
3. Hepatitis
4. Stroke
5. War
6. Debt
7. Illegal drugs
8. Fossil fuels
9. Local floods
10. No happiness

2nd - Adie Pena with:
Films starring The Beatles*
1. A Hard Day's Night
2. Help!
3. Magical Mystery Tour
4. Yellow Submarine
5. Let It Be
=
1. Smart batty lifestyle
2. All merriment
3. Why that silly garbage?
4. Has Blue Meanies
5. Discord in the group.

3rd - Ivan Andonov with:
Jewish military leader, Lieutenant General Moshe Dayan =
Hailed army gentleman and Israeli with just one real eye.
Tyler Severance with:
President Obama to seek congressional approval for Syria strikes =
O Senators rack in troops to finally break oppressive Assad regime.

Tyler Severance with:
Marines do not retreat, they just attack from a different direction =
DOJ fun fact: trained men ready to strike the terrorist faction team.

Christopher Sturdy with:
International ice-breaker - "Did you watch the game last night?"=
Key one-liner; the magic angle. I start to chat with dude in a bar.

Tyler Severance with:
Sony Playstation Four video game entertainment system =
I let money net a neat modern toy; I must pay rest of savings.

Julian Lofts with:
Actor Bryan Cranston is Walter White in topically themed television series "Breaking Bad" =
A bastard yet an elite cook brewing crystal meth blends with opiates or ricin. A vile sinner!

Mark Huffman with:
Snips, snails, and puppy dog tails: that's what little boys are made of =
Pet mutilations, nasty blades, gross filth, wasps hid appeal to "Y" DNA.

Julian Lofts with:
Newest Australian Prime Minister Anthony Abbott is saying no ~
to wannabe Asian immigrants in peril on these tiny rusty boats

Julian Lofts with:
Delhi gang-rape trial: death sentence inevitable says India's home minister Sushilkumar Shinde =
Demonise, dehumanise, hang all the heathen rapists, sinners, abusers. Die like a dainty girl victim.

Rosie Perera with:
Voyager 1 becomes first human-made object to leave solar system =
The dame seems to maybe reject some of sun's local gravity. Bravo!

Rosie Perera with:
"To write poetry after Auschwitz is barbaric." (Theodor Adorno) =
Eschew pretty art about brood of horrid Nazi war atrocities.

Rosie Perera with:
The four African American girls Addie Mae Collins, Carole Robertson, Cynthia Wesley and Denise McNair
=
Non-Caucasian children were called real martyrs in a deadly Birmingham fiasco, one coroner testifies.

Rosie Perera with:
The biblical books of Genesis through Deuteronomy =
Moses inscribed theology of Torah to be huge in bulk.

Tony Crafter with:
A TOP IDEA!

What does a rogue say to terrify his girl into surrendering her virtue?

=

"Don't die a virgin, Ghada. Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you up there."

Scott Gardner with:
Organisation for the Prevention of Chemical Weapons =
The main "police" for the poison gas warfare convention.

nedesto with:
This elderly vulture boarded onto this airplane and she was carrying with her these two smelly dead raccoons. ~

Having watched all this, the stewardess detained her, "Hi. Sorry lady, but only one carrion's allowed per customer."

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Why American Football Is Better Than World Football

1. Because brute force is actually a part of this game and not considered a 'foul';
2. Because you can see all that action and players up close and don't feel like you're watching the whole game from a blimp;
3. Because our football games involve some complicated gameplay and a lot of strategies, as opposed to just a bunch of playground shin-kicking and spitting;
4. Because our half-time shows often involve Beyonce bouncing around in a thong and not some stupid field maintenance;
5. Because all the games end with a SCORE, for Pete's sake, and not in nil-nil after ninety minutes!

=

Why World Football Is Better Than American Football

1. Because many of the men are in fact fit enough to do a few sit ups and run a couple of laps;
2. Because those chaps are also unlikely to put on a helmet and nine hundred tons of immense protective gear like US players;
3. Because the famous World Cup final is indeed watched GLOBALLY and not just in America;
4. Because this game contains two forty-five-minute sets of thrilling, non-stop action, as opposed to one unremarkable second before cutting to a sickening commercial;
5. Because playing this game actually involves a foot and a bleeding ball, not a hand and a bloody egg!

2nd - Adie Pena with:
SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND
1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
2. With a Little Help from My Friends
3. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
4. Getting Better
5. Fixing a Hole
6. She's Leaving Home
7. Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!
8. Within You Without You
9. When I'm Sixty-Four
10. Lovely Rita
11. Good Morning Good Morning
12. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)
13. A Day in the Life
=
1. "It was twenty years ago today!"
2. Highlighted Billy Shears is Ringo
3. Expect mirth if planning the trip
4. "Can't get no worse!" rebuff*
5. "And wonder why they don't get in my door!"
6. If people elope...
7. Exhibit Henry the Horse in public!
8. Get George's sitar hymn
9. Inspire old members then
10. Flippant Paul met Ms. Davies**
11. Kellogg's Corn Flakes hubbub***
12. Billy's fulfilment
13. "I'd love to turn you on."

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We dont serve ropes here." The rope walks out, ties a knot in the middle of his body, brushes the stray fibers at the ends, and goes back inside.
=
Assessing the rope's defined waist sash and liberated short end bits, the bartender observes, "Hey, you look like the bastard I threw out!" The rope answers back, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

Jason Lofts with:
See these six (sets of) dwarves, ever so eager but agog with greed, featuring in The Hobbit (predates The Fellowship of the Ring):

1. Thorin Oakenshield
2. Brothers Fili & Kili
3. Balin & Dwalin
4. Cousins Bifur, Bofur & Bombur
5. Dori, Nori & Ori
6. Oin & Gloin

=
1. He is the proud, fit, intuitive saviour King-in-exile, who fells foes.
2. Both kill Wargs in wrath in his aid.
3. One is bald, other not.
4. To Gollum: Robber, despair! Best beware their ire!
5. Bugger off, fiendish renegade Orcs!
6. Both issue born of Gróin.

Tony Crafter with:
The World's Top Ten Billionaires (From The Forbes List)

1. Carlos Slim Helu and Family
2. Bill Gates
3. Amancia Ortega
4. Warren Buffett
5. Larry Ellison
6. Charles Koch
7. David Koch
8. Li Ka-shing
9. Liliane Bettencourt and Family
10.Bernard Arnault and Family
=

1. All wealthy as hell!
2. 'Mr Microsoft' and A-list geek
3. Funky fashion man
4. Frugal billionaire
5. 'Oracle' firm founder
6. Dabbled in Libertarian politics
7. - ditto -
8. Best Asian business man
9. That wrinkly 'L'Oreal' lady
10.Great, French art collector; LVMH head

Julian Lofts with:
"The word of the United States must mean something. It is vital currency in foreign relations and international and allied commitments."
- US Secretary of Defence Chuck Hagel
=
Most of us cannot feel safe if terrorists remain unchallenged, killing civilians at home, and the Americans decide to do nothing. Try we must - tyrannic scum hate true detente.

Julian Lofts with:

"The word of the United States must mean something. It is vital currency in foreign relations and international and allied commitments." - Chuck Hagel (is US Secretary of Defence) =

Most of us cannot feel safe if terrorists remain unchallenged, killing civilians at home, and America then decides to do nothing. It's time we must act - tyranny's the untrue creed!

Christopher Sturdy with:
"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation."
=
It's familiar that opening; joy in his words yet with no hint of irony. Our modest yet uplifting orator went on to say too how he had a dream.

Mark Huffman with:
Marvel's five African-American super heroes who are most popular:
1) Falcon
2) Black Panther
3) Luke Cage, code name Power Man
4) Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD
5) Bishop
=
1) Has pet, Redwing, also a falcon
2) Ruler of Wakanda empire
3) Scrapper, macho biceps, rock-hard skin
4) Formerly Caucasian (believe me, hon...)
5) From violent future epoch

Dharam Khalsa with:
"I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life.
The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want."--Mark Twain
=
Why? What a fib!
What do you wish to attain, anyhow?
Don't waffle.
Hatch a written plan.
Deny any energy block.
Commit to the timetable.
Then act!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Ten Biblical Plagues in Egypt:

1. Water to Blood
2. Frogs
3. Gnats or Lice
4. Flies
5. Livestock Diseased
6. Boils
7. Thunder and Hail
8. Locusts
9. Darkness
10. Death of the Firstborn
=
Acts of God:

1. A brackish red
2. Infestation
3. Clever bugs
4. No sanitation
5. Dead piglet
6. Bad sores
7. Frightful weather
8. Loud beetles
9. Spooky stillness
10. Stillborn child

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
After great pain a formal feeling comes--
The nerves sit ceremonious like tombs;
The stiff Heart questions--was it He that bore?
And yesterday--or centuries before?

The feet, mechanical, go round
A wooden way
Of ground, or air, or ought,
Regardless grown,
A quartz contentment, like a stone.

This is the hour of lead
Remembered if outlived,
As freezing persons recollect the snow--
First chill, then stupor, then the letting go.

=

Briefly Reflecting On Grief

Restoring someone dreamed in art
Eventually did cure dark hearts;
Creations touch a warmth I lost,
Uniting me with harmless ghosts,
Perhaps because their quiet flare
Ensures I am not frozen there.
Relief felt after stress can be
A power which enables me
To go on when I feel quite rotten;
It's out of sight, yet not forgotten:
None of the scars and hazards could
Get me to overlook the Good.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:

Being old with mum - A verse to fifty-nine (which I now am)*

My mother died this date ten years ago
And much of me is drawn toward the loss
'X' is the mark of how I feel, to know
It meant absent or ten or even cross.
No child is wont to think when one is small
Each human life is precious but so brief.
Loss which occurs, have no regret at all
Let not the soul be e'er consumed with grief.
So thus can Sir, which art a reaper grim
Then rob the widower of his wife dear;
Unabashed job, horrid even for Him.
Raise the bowed head and face a future where,
Dare to be true, be quick, be good, be brave;
You're worth your mother's pride beyond the grave.

=

Sonnet LIX by William Shakespeare

If there be nothing new, but that which is
Hath been before, how are our brains beguiled,
Which, labouring for invention, bear amiss
The second burden of a former child!
O, that record could with a backward look,
Even of five hundred courses of the sun,
Show me your image in some antique book,
Since mind at first in character was done!
That I might see what the old world could say
To this composed wonder of your frame;
Whether we are mended, or whether better they,
Or whether revolution be the same.
O, sure I am, the wits of former days
To subjects worse have given admiring praise.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
One evening, after a night at the theatre, two gentlemen were strolling down the street when they observed a well-dressed and attractive young lady walking in front of them. One of the men turned to the other and remarked, "I would happily pay $250 to spend the night with that woman."

Much to their surprise, the lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I'll take you up on that offer."

She had a smart appearance and pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the lady back to her apartment.

The following morning, as he was preparing to leave, the man handed her $125. The lady asked for the rest of the money, stating, "If you don't give it to me, I'm prepared to sue you for it."

He laughed and challenged her: "Oh, I'd like to see you succeed on these grounds."

Within a few days, he was surprised to receive a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit. He sped off to his lawyer and reported the full details of the case to him.

The lawyer said, "She can't possibly get judgement against you on such improbable grounds, but it'll be interesting to see just how her case will be presented."

The man duly appeared in court and the lady's lawyer delivered his preliminary address to the court as follows: "Your Honour, my client, this lady, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot, surrounded by quite a profuse growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified length of time for the sum of $250.

"The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purposes for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises, he paid only $125, one-half of the amount agreed upon. The rent was not unduly high, since it's restricted property, and we request that judgement be granted against the defendant to obtain full payment of the balance."
~
The defendant's lawyer was not only surprised but also impressed and amused by the unusual way his esteemed opponent had presented the case. Naturally, his defence would need to be rather different from the way he was originally aiming to present it. But he rose to the occasion.

"Your Honour," he said, "My client agrees that the young lady has a desirable piece of property, and that he did rent such property for a time and, in fairness, a good degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client located a well on the property, around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump, all labour being carried out personally by him. We suggest these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid sum, and that the plaintiff was generously compensated for the rental of said property. We therefore ask that judgement not be granted."

The young lady's lawyer answered, "Your Honour, my client agrees that the defendant did indeed find a well on her property. However, had the defendant not known that the well existed, he would never have rented the said property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him too. In doing so, he not only dragged his equipment through the surrounding shrubbery, thus disarranging it, but he left the hole looking significantly larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making the property less desirable to others. We therefore ask, again, that judgement be granted for the agreed original sum of $250."

In his assessment and ruling, the Judge provided for two options: "A) Choose to pay the plaintiff the $125 balance you owe, or: B) Have the equipment detached from its current location and provide it to the plaintiff for damages."

The defendant wrote out a check immediately.

Tony Crafter with:
THE LAST WOLF
By
Mary TallMountain

The last wolf hurried toward me
through the ruined city
and I heard his baying echoes
down the steep smashed warrens
of Montgomery Street and past
the ruby-crowned highrises
left standing
their lighted elevators useless

Passing the flicking red and green
of traffic signals
baying his way eastward
in the mystery of his wild loping gait
closer the sounds in the deadly night
through clutter and rubble of quiet blocks
I hear his voice ascending the hill
and at last his low whine as he came
floor by empty floor to the room
where I sat
in my narrow bed looking west, waiting
I heard him snuffle at the door and
I watched

He trotted across the floor
he laid his long gray muzzle
on the spare white spread
and his eyes burned yellow
his small dotted eyebrows quivered

"Yes," I said.
"I know what they have done."

=

DEVIL'S END
A Story of Savagery at the Finishing Line

The quiet stranger follows the crowds
through the city streets as
folk cheer gaily all around him
but he does not hear them
or the giggles of the children
or the beating drums
that throb in
syncopation with his heart

Passing quietly by, head down,
unnoticed by the crowd
he slips off eastward
to where the buzz of voices is loudest
and where the sidewalk swarms with people
crowded round the finishing line
as they wait to cheer the runners home,
all fatally unaware that
somewhere, on some grim sidewalk
behind them,
death is lurking; sniffing; waiting; watching,
ready for dreadful glory
ready to destroy

It is time...

A massive blast rips the air,
followed only by deathly silence
as rag-doll bodies
lie limp in the road...
then the screams begin

And a stunned world hears
and says: "Oh, my God... why?"

Adie Pena with:

YOU GOT THE MAIN SEAT IN MY HEART
by Danny Miley Fan

My heart stops beating when I see you,,
I try to keep breathing, thinking of you,
Love hurts when you really love someone,
Everytime I see a photo or two my heart stops beating and its because of you,
You are getting me hurt,

Right now I´m thinking about you,
All I try to do is make you understand,
You are what makes me be like I am,

Can you please understand,
You are my world,
Reading this poem I hope you to be
Using this poem I try to reach your heart,
So I hope you understand, what my heart wants you to know.

=

YOU GOT THE MAIN SEAT IN MY LOO

Television viewers loathe, too. How they seethe
When I, your stereotype sweetheart espouses
Entertainment as onerous as the humpy
Robin Thicke singing about 'Blurred Lines' in us.
Kinkily making it hot throughout year one

In my skin-colored skimpy underwear;
No repute in my youtube beauty,
Groping him with my lusty foam hand.

Outdo masturbatory Lady Gaga, too?
No way! Why be too smutty, young epitome?
Very odious idea to see my Hannah
Montana, our popular faerie, agitate the
Achy Breaky Heart of my weary Daddy.

The Anagrammy Awards

SEPTEMBER 2013 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY