1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
I'm showboating. =
How I'm boasting.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
The bleary eyes, ~
they barely see.
Rosie Perera with:
Identifying animal tracks =
I glance at tiny marks I find.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
A giddily savored ~
Lady Godiva rides.
View with:
Pure ale's ~
pleasure!
turnip with:
I stand ~
and sit
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
A Damned Heaven takes ~
Adam, Eve, and the snake.
Rob Bretveld with:
Candid man + pot use =
Stand-up comedian.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
Diagnosed as trash food: ~
Hot dogs, a soda, and fries.
Rosie Perera with:
Damned if you do, damned if you don't =
Funny, you did and I'm doomed to fade.
Rosie Perera with:
Domestic violence =
Most evil, I concede.
Rosie Perera with:
Lips: why teeth are ~
the "pearly whites".
Tony Crafter with:
In the darkest night ~
he started thinking...
Christopher Sturdy with:
Rather a godforsaken place =
Dark forces here, a pagan lot.
Adie Pena with:
Battling ~
anti-LGBT.
Mike Torr with:
A spider in the bath ~
inhabited her taps
Christopher Sturdy with:
The chips are down... ~
hope the card wins.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
Freshman biology: ~
Frogs in homey lab.
John Ramos with:
Party time =
I am pretty.
Rick Rothstein with:
A match made in heaven =
Ah! A damn achievement.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
Solving an anagram: =
A groan man slaving.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
Loving chatter is no ~
light conversation.
John Ramos with:
A bedtime story =
Tames tired boy.
Rosie Perera with:
The graduating high school class valedictorian =
Nice child got all A's, can go to Harvard. This is HUGE!
John Ramos with:
Wedding toast =
"To dad's new git!"
John Ramos with:
Hush, little baby =
Hell, shut it, Abby!
Rosie Perera with:
Recuperation =
Toe pain curer.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Tanager in ~
Argentina.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Cheetahs =
The chase.
Rosie Perera with:
Personal flotation device =
Old life vest on a canoe trip.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Mowed pasture =
Purest meadow.
Mike Torr with:
My latest hobby =
Mostly the baby
Ellie Dent with:
Dawn is breaking =
Birds awakening.
Julian Lofts with:
Spartan game, Iceland! =
England is a crap team!
Mike Torr with:
Pagan festivals ~
fit savages’ plan
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Rob Bretveld with:
@kobebryant =
RT @NBA Ok, bye.
Scott Gardner with:
Michelangelo's masterpieces =
Select images in Rome chapels.
Scott Gardner with:
Michelangelo Buonarroti's sculpture The Pietà =
Tourist people ogle statue in marble in a church.
Rosie Perera with:
The Tony Awards =
Arts own the day.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Straight No Chaser's ~
songs are chart hits.
Adie Pena with:
Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice's 'Evita' =
West End drive met Broadway brilliance!
Jesse Frankovich with:
The Gallery of the Academy in Florence =
Fondly eye a Michelangelo craft there.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
"Free spirit" ~
fits Pierre.
John Ramos with:
"Out, damned spot!" =
Noted mad spout.
Scott Gardner with:
Leonardo's picture of Mona Lisa =
A person in ideal sfumato color.
Scott Gardner with:
Pictures of Mona Lisa =
Famous replications.
Mike Torr with:
The Flight of the Bumble Bee =
Hit the bell: bug theme be off!
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Walt Disney Pictures' summer movie "Finding Dory" =
Study of living with impeded memory in sea currents.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens =
Boy gets experience: acts and talks rich.
View with:
Independence Day: Resurgence: the ~
Earth's need, deep urgency. Nice end.
Mike Torr with:
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets =
Crafty bathroom serpent crashed there.
Jason Lofts with:
Shark movies =
Mako... Shivers!
David Bourke with:
Singer Paul Simon announces that he is to retire =
The one last tour increasing his mature pension!
Tony Crafter with:
Adele at Glastonbury =
And absolutely great!
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Rosie Perera with:
Rest In Peace Muhammad Ali =
I'm ace US male in damp earth.
Adie Pena with:
An accidental opioid overdose =
A dead Prince is not a cool video.
Adie Pena with:
The Democratic presidential nomination =
America administered the Clinton option.
Rick Rothstein with:
Political Action Committees =
O, it claims to impact election.
Jason Lofts with:
Pretend Trump is ~
President Trump!
Julian Lofts with:
Ali's funeral =
Arena is full.
Adie Pena with:
The Republicans and the Democrats =
Bet Trump's headache's dear Clinton.
Rob Bretveld with:
"Never Trump" movement =
Prevent/mute Mr. Venom.
Adie Pena with:
Pulse, a gay club =
A guy's culpable.
Rosie Perera with:
Destroyers in ~
Disney Resort.
John Ramos with:
Seven Seas Lagoon =
One savage lesson.
Tony Crafter with:
Great Britain's forthcoming referendum on Europe =
Remain, enraged, in corrupt EU on their terms? Bog off!
View with:
Pulse, a nightclub =
Ah, let's gun public!
Rosie Perera with:
Most marriages today are invalid (Pope Francis) =
Gay or not, divorce rips sad families apart. Amen.
Rosie Perera with:
Disney erects alligator warning signs at the lagoon =
Angry sighs: "O, great! A little late in drowning son case."
Rosie Perera with:
Creeping extremism =
Expect: grim men rise.
Julian Lofts with:
Stony Thomas Mair iterated ~
My name is 'Death to Traitors'
Rosie Perera with:
Trump's unfavourability rating =
Fury at vulgar man; it's up in orbit!
Julian Lofts with:
Auschwitz warden in German trial =
Aged Nazi war criminal's new truth.
Rosie Perera with:
#DisarmHate =
Mad? Share it!
View with:
"Star Trek” film actor Anton Yelchin =
"My car" - killer of that innocent star.
Rob Bretveld with:
Gun safety legislation =
Loafing Senate's guilty.
Ellie Dent with:
Summer Solstice at Stonehenge in Twenty-Sixteen =
Oh, excitement! - many set to witness gentle sunrise.
Rosie Perera with:
Trump fires campaign manager Corey Lewandowski =
Grown man's "am great" camp was in pickle. "You're fired!"
Rosie Perera with:
The Senate considered gun violence legislation ~
then voted "no"; late U.S. decision is real negligence.
Scott Gardner with:
The American gun safety legislation ‡
Anyone might get a nice assault rifle.
Julian Lofts with:
EU referendum poll =
Pendulum or feeler?
Rosie Perera with:
"Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash =
You old Brits all chose today, huh? (Sighs.)
Rosie Perera with:
David Cameron resigns =
Damn cad's reign is over.
Adie Pena with:
Brexit =
Ex-Brit?
Rosie Perera with:
The Labour Party's shadow cabinet =
So, the rash now abdicate abruptly.
David Bourke with:
The Labour Party implodes =
Problem: Lapsed authority
Jesse Frankovich with:
The presumptive Republican nominee =
Men happen to believe cure is in Trump?
Jesse Frankovich with:
Republican talking points =
Bankrupt angle in politics.
Scott Gardner with:
Istanbul airport =
Blast, uproar in it.
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Rob Bretveld with:
1. Hillary Clinton
2. Bernie Sanders
=
1. NY Senator
2. Liberals' inner child.
Adie Pena with:
The boxer Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. =
Extra sly Ali's cruel jabs score much!
Jason Lofts with:
The US film actress Blake Lively =
Vile shark eyeballs cutest MILF.
View with:
Meir Dagan* =
I'm a danger
Christopher Sturdy with:
Donald Trump versus Hillary Clinton =
POTUS rivals - Damn Dolt / Chilly Runner
Jesse Frankovich with:
The Vermont politician Bernie Sanders =
Not in presidential race this November.
Julian Lofts with:
Judge Aaron Persky =
As young jerk raped.
Rick Rothstein with:
Muhammad Ali's funeral ‡
Alas, a humdrum man, life.
Julian Lofts with:
Omar Mateen =
A remote man
Adie Pena with:
The Clinton Family
1. Bill
2. Hillary
3. Chelsea
=
1. This horny man
2. Chilly éclat
3. Filial belle.
Scott Gardner with:
Thomas Mair =
Aims to harm.
Rosie Perera with:
American Presidential candidate Donald Trump ~
is an undiplomatic and dramatic pretend leader.
Ellie Dent with:
Italian master painter Leonardo =
Enter an ideal portrait: Mona Lisa.
Dharam Khalsa with:
America's big icon John Wayne =
I'm a cowboy in jeans, in charge!
Ellie Dent with:
Daniel Craig, the current James Bond =
Man in character, judged best in role?
David Bourke with:
The American pop singer Taylor Alison Swift =
A typical new song...it's a former relationship!
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Julian Lofts with:
Bayerische Motoren Werke Aktiengesellschaft =
Feel great in sleek cars - BMW create no hokey shit.
turnip with:
Honey Nut Cheerios contain ~
Onion chutney, nose hair, etc.
Jason Lofts with:
Political action committee =
I commit capital to election.
turnip with:
A Diet Pepsi =
I ate, sipped.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh with:
Anagram Generator =
A montage arranger.
Rosie Perera with:
Veterans Coalition for Common Sense =
Motive: control arms, since no one safe.
Adie Pena with:
Democrats and Republicans ~
can add certain U.S. problems!
John Ramos with:
On the Origin of Species =
Fish rose to pig? Nice one!
Rosie Perera with:
Respect Francis; convene a ~
Vatican Press Conference.
Mike Torr with:
Eurovision Song Contest =
Nonsense got victorious.
Rob Bretveld with:
The Internal Revenue Service =
A NINE ELEVEN TRUTHER SERVICE!!??!!
Rosie Perera with:
YouCaring - Compassionate Crowdfunding =
Saw sign: "account for producing money/aid."
Dharam Khalsa with:
The San Andreas Fault in California =
Continual fears in a land-shift area.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Republicans against Democrats =
Bemoan it... a star-spangled circus!
Tony Crafter with:
The English National Football Team =
Boo! No fight in these men at all. At all!
David Bourke with:
The Received Pronunciation =
Pure in voice...not ethnic, dear!
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Jason Lofts with:
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason =
Donald Trump: He's an arrogant (beep) cheesy nuisance.
Hillary Rodham Clinton: She's going to be voted in ahead of him.
Jason Lofts with:
Future Commander-in-Chief Hillary Clinton Eviscerates Donald Trump In Foreign Policy Address =
Virulent lady firmly condemned orange-haired fascist "red" opponent, crucifies him. Curtains, lol!
Jason Lofts with:
Japan hails seven-year-old who survived being abandoned in forest =
Oh, joy! Inventive bad son safe, we learn. Punish lad's overbearing Dad!
View with:
Muhammad Ali, 'The Greatest of All Time', Dead at Seventy Four =
Aye, I'm that famous, vital, "smart mouth", real legend!...Defeated
Julian Lofts with:
The paedophile Richard Huckle is an unforgivable monstrosity =
I'd hope a bunch of prisoners castrate the evil guy and/or kill him!
Julian Lofts with:
Kangaroo and pig strike up special romantic relationship in Aileron =
Marsupial adores poking a stinking porcine pal in hot area. Erotic? Nil.
naturegirl with:
The Mandelbaum Gate spirits me back into Cold War era Israel =
O! What gambit led Muriel Spark to be a mediterranean classic?
Adie Pena with:
The seven colors of the rainbow are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet
=
Or do our role here with Lesbian-Gay-Bi-Transgender flag: "We need love; no to violence!"
Mike Torr with:
Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey, where wealth accumulates and men decay.
=
A senseless path of handy lucre will rage midway, and lacerate the human intellect.
turnip with:
Toddler dies from alligator attack; the gay nightclub shooting; The Voice's singer Christina Grimmie is murdered by fan =
Sadder grief -- Orlando is having a tragic and not magic month. Let's desire brighter lights for the city Mickey Mouse built.
Ellie Dent with:
I, many people here, think each pooch is faithful, a best friend to man. If you don't, you wonder how? why? Well, try this challenge.
~
Lock your wife and the dog in the family car for an hour. When it's finally opened, which will then be the most happy to see you?
Mike Torr with:
Anagrams are like numerology, except that they have entertainment value and are not a laughable form of self-deception.
=
Get real! The funny, co-operative alphabet tournaments engender real farce and team levity, unlike aloof 'hoax math' games.
Christopher Sturdy with:
How will Great Britain be voting in today's referendum? =
REMAIN (right) or if doubt set in, I went badly wrong (LEAVE)
Scott Gardner with:
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland =
Daring that tradition-breaking referendum in London.
Dharam Khalsa with:
“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark." - Rabindranath Tagore
=
That said, isn't the night darkest before the land (and garden) is awash with fresh brilliant light?
Jesse Frankovich with:
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland =
Region intending heraldin' break from that dratted Union.
Tony Crafter with:
(Graffiti on a wall)
THINGS I REALLY HATE
Vandalism
Mistaks
Lists
Irony
=
THINGS I LOVE
Life
Whisky
Any old film stars
Italian art
Anagram lists
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Rosie Perera with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons, swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Larry B, bonny man, we'll miss you.
Thanks for mentoring on this forum.
For putting up with its shenanigans.
Stay on, old pro, and ever enter Awards.
David Bourke with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
At long last! Fair innings,
Larry Brash stands down.
- "It's a wonderful opportunity,
Forum senior management every month!"
Thinks our new boy, HSP!
Adie Pena with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Unfailing memory,
It points to The Master.
Beyond voluntary,
Fondest supporter
Was running
A smash.
One world of winning
Thanks Larry Brash!
Jason Lofts with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Response to forum sheriff "Saint Larry" Brash sitting in sunny Down Under:
"Bloody long innings, mate! What monumental work! Have a party, sport!"
Dharam Khalsa with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Thank God for Dr. Brash
And manly maturity,
Plus inborn generosity;
Promoter in anagrams
Now wants off (senility?)
Hush now, volunteers step in!
Ellie Dent with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Larry's hymn
In the beginning,
Over anagrams we'd pore
With a manly sponsor,
Kind, unstuffy, helpful.
An administrator
Not so robust now...to rest!
Julian Lofts with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Long-serving, eminent
Australian shrink
Ruled www.Anagrammy nonstop. Dr Brash sent funny,
Ribald, pithy posts.
You err, nominate to shoot off.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Syrupy Ode
Oh, Awardsmaster Brash,
We're thankful, in short,
To an intelligent sort,
An inspiring funny man,
A most wonderful sport,
Moving on by.
Rosie Perera with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
I knew an old helmsman, Larry,
He'd forum posts, salutary.
We've gone from snorting,
And fun snippy retorting ("I won"),
To rubbish that's non-sanitary.
David Bourke with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
The story of Larry Brash: Born Glasgow,
left, moved Down Under, prominent N.S.W.
hospital shrink (tuition on insanity),
supreme at funny anagrams.
David Bourke with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
In a frank point (namely to Mr Sturdy) on running the Awards,
two months perhaps, after Larry resigns:
"You've damn big boots to fill now, sunshine!"
Dharam Khalsa with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Fans, remember
Frustration, nerves at night?
No, no, pronoun's not right!
No...yes! Finally push "Submit"
Prior to dark dawn's light,
And Mey always won!
Ellie Dent with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Let's now honor a man
for preserving anagrams.
Nominate that sunkisst
Larry, witty hobbyist
on hours of fun, gladly spent
in prime, Down Under.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
DB'll regale ya
A story or ten,
Praise the man from Australia,
I've known month on end
Funny 'n' witty, bright 'n' no-fuss
Now passing to Mr. Horrid S. Pus.
***
Jesse Frankovich with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
With my utmost gratitude to one bold person movin' on: Larry Brash, known for all his setup efforts spanning many years in running the Awards.
Ellie Dent with:
> Thanks for the memory,
> Of rainy afternoons,
> Swingy Harlem tunes,
> Motor trips and burning lips,
> And burning toast and prunes,
> How lovely it was!
>
> =
Hymn to Larry
In the beginning,
Over anagrams we'd pore
With a manly sponsor,
Kind, unstuffy, helpful.
An administrator,
Not so robust now, rests.
Tony Crafter with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
Spry, fun-lovin' shrink, Larry Brash
Built an internet group, a neat mash
One of twenty-plus nerds
Good at forming new words
I, Tony, Nom it a smash!
Tony Crafter with:
Thanks for the memory,
Of rainy afternoons,
Swingy Harlem tunes,
Motor trips and burning lips,
And burning toast and prunes,
How lovely it was!
=
One spry fun-lovin' shrink, Larry Brash,
Built an internet group, a neat mash,
Of twenty-plus nerds,
Good at forming new words;
I, Tony, Nom it "a smash!".
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Julian Lofts with:
Most valuable substances in the world by weight
1. Saffron
2. Beluga caviar
3. Platinum
4. Gold
5. Heroin
6. Rhinoceros horn
7. White truffle
8. Animal venom
9. Lysergic acid diethylamide
10. Plutonium
11. Soliris (registered trademark)
12. Tritium
13. A pink diamond
14. A rare British Guiana One-Cent Magenta postage stamp
15. Californium
16. Antimatter =
1. Spice from Iran
2. Sturgeon eggs
3. Rare metal
4. Latin name is aurum
5. "Brown sugar"
6. Aphrodisiac
7. Tuber magnatum
8. Sting, viper/snake bite
9. Mr Hofman made it - it heavily impaired/stoned him
10. Unhealthful fissile material
11. Monoclonal antibody drug - ought to kill cancer
12. "Heavy" tritiated water
13. Carbon
14. Initialled E.D.W.
15. Cf
16. Positrons
turnip with:
Two Japanese men are relaxing in the local village bathhouse. After a long pause, one turns to the other and says, "Toshi-san, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your wife, Fumiko, has been dishonoring you with a Jewish man.
Toshi, his face fallen, quickly puts on his clothing, runs home to his little cottage and confronts his wife.
"Fumiko, it is being said that you have been daring to dishonor the marital bed with a Jewish man. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Fumiko responds, "Please believe me, dear beloved. There is no truth whatsoever in that ridiculous claim. Come, come! I do not know where you have heard of such mishugas."
=
Three candidates for the position of Samurai arrived at the imperial palace for evaluation.
The first, a young man, draws out a small box, and a bee bursts out from it. One yell, Cooo-eee!, and a swipe from his huge katana, the bee is bisected, Ouchie!
Number two brings out a fly, suavely waves his swords, and soon enough, poof, it is quartered in midair!
The third to follow, an elderly Jewish man, takes several swings at his hovering fly, which then alights on his hand.
The young men in the room jeer at him. "Hee-hee! You buffoon. How can the job be yours if the bug lives?"
He shook his head at the two. "You know, circumcision's not meant to kill, as such."
Tony Crafter with:
THE TOP TEN SAFEST AIRLINES IN THE WORLD
10: Qantas Airlines
9: Air Canada
8: Etihad Airlines
7: TAP Portugal
6: British Airways
5: Eva Air
4: Emirates
3: Finnair
2: Cathay Pacific
1: Air New Zealand
=
10: Accidents rare
9: Maple leaf fans' airway
8: An elite ride
7: Eat piri piri!
6: High pilot IQ
5: Taiwan air-train
4: It's Dubaian
3: Low-hazard aircraft
2: Attentive Asians
1: Less crashes than anyone
David Bourke with:
'Crisis of Character: A White House Secret Service Officer
Discloses His Firsthand Experience with Hillary, Bill,
and How They Operate' - Gary Byrne =
It's the fiery harridan (shrewd wife of a useless cheating
swine) - her hypocrisy, her obsessive "politically-correct"
belief, and her toxic character.
Julian Lofts with:
The American corporation Intel® sets the world record for an absolutely amazing technological light show in Sydney featuring a choreographed ~ array of synchronized and accelerating drones that are syncopated to orchestral music for illuminating the harbor. When? I hope we'll go google it!
Adie Pena with:
As we're remembering these places:
1. The Island of Hokkaido, Japan
2. The Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden, Ohio
3. The Seven Seas Lagoon, Walt Disney World Resort, Bay Lake, Florida
=
1. We need to find Yamato Tanooka in the woods.
2. Helpless Isaiah Dickerson can be seen constrained by Harambe, the prized gorilla.
3. Or Lane Graves locked in the jaws of an alligator.
David Bourke with:
Donald Trump: "Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going
wild over the vote. They took their country back, just
like we will take America back. No games!"
=
Twitter communication on the jocks' vote result by
the "weapons-grade plum", a "diabolical thick jerk",
a "totally divisive knuckledragger"...and worse!
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
David Bourke with:
'Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Germans' - Noel Coward
We must be kind, and with an open mind
We must endeavour to find a way
To let the Germans know that when the war is over
They are not the ones who'll have to pay.
We must be sweet, and tactful and discreet
And when they've suffered defeat
We mustn't let them feel upset
Or ever get the feeling that we're cross with them or hate them,
Our future policy must be to reinstate them.
Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
When our victory is ultimately won,
It was just those nasty Nazis who persuaded them to fight
And their Beethoven and Bach are really far worse than their bite
Let's be meek to them, and turn the other cheek to them
And try to bring out their latent sense of fun.
Let's give them full air parity
And treat the rats with charity,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.
We must be just, and win their love and trust
And in addition we must be wise
And ask the conquered lands to join our hands to aid them.
That would be a wonderful surprise.
For many years they've been in floods of tears
Because the poor little dears
Have been so wronged and only longed
To cheat the world, deplete the world
And beat the world to blazes.
This is the moment when we ought to sing their praises.
Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
When we've definitely got them on the run
Let us treat them very kindly as we would a valued friend
We might send them out some bishops as a form of lease and lend,
Let's be sweet to them, and day by day repeat to them
That 'sterilization' simply isn't done.
Let's help the dirty swine again
To occupy the Rhine again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.
Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
When the age of peace and plenty has begun.
We must send them steel and oil and coal and everything they need
For their peaceable intentions can be always guaranteed.
Let's employ with them a sort of 'strength through joy' with them,
They're better than us at honest manly fun.
Let's let them feel they're swell again,
And bomb us all to hell again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.
Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
For you can't deprive a gangster of his gun
Though they've been a little naughty,
To the Czechs and Poles and Dutch,
But I don't suppose those countries really minded very much.
Let's be free with them and share the BBC with them,
We mustn't prevent them basking in the sun.
Let's soften their defeat again,
And build their bloody fleet again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.
=
We Love The Welsh!
It seemed often a volatile battle,
A tense feud, England and Wales between.
We must unite! Culture differences settle,
Salute our mutual Queen.
It's the land of the harp, the lovespoon,
The yellow daffodil, the dragon red,
Newtown, to Flint, to St. Davids,
St. Donats, up to Holyhead.
With no need of reason, they burst into tune,
Seems at the drop of the hat, a choir form,
A welcome they'd keep in the hillsides,
(At least, our holiday homes they keep warm).
The mines dignified the urban community,
Between Pontardawe and Pontypridd,
They buzzed, but now they're the pits,
And Port Talbot steel, that's under Neath.
The men are men...sheep undoubtedly edgy,
Bleat whether the wether, the ewe or the ram.
Found in most pubs, between eleven and twelve,
Untold mutton, but dressed-up as lamb.
There's the Catatonia star Cerys Matthews,
The taffette attitude, to the letter!
But Ian Watkins (Lostprophets), best not mention.
(That bastard, the least said the better).
There's seaweed abundant (thus laver bread),
Straight outta Newport, Goldie Lookin Chain,
The Tiger Bay temptress dubbed "Dame Burly Chassis",
But little Ms. Church, three-sheets *yet* again.
There's the rugby legend Gareth Edwards,
Ryan Giggs (Man-U)...he netted League fame,
So talented at shots between the sheets,
That his own brother-in-law he became.
Drove Caerphilly north, Eisteddfod dinner,
(Rarebit...cheese on toast...lush nosh!)
Saw signs between twenty/twenty-five-odd feet, that said,
"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".
Over-burdened downstairs, and with a hairy chest,
I went to the doctor, endowment tests sought:
- "This 'Tom Jones Syndrome', is that common, then?"
- "It's not unusual!", his gentle retort.
That Bonnie Tyler? Still bemused, in France,
But where, then, did she go wrong?
It's a heartache, even a total eclipse,
Maybe for that hero she held out too long?
The beautiful Catherine Zeta Jones,
Kylie Minogue's mum, and Owain Glyndwr,
At the baize, the talented Matthew Stevens,
The Manics (band), Ty Nant, Mumbles (Gower).
The humble statesman Nye Bevan,
Benevolent to the hilt,
Unforgotten by every lefty household,
- The new N.H.S. fundamentally he built.
The late presbyterian William Evans,
(Now he's "Evans Above", so to speak),
The Johnny Owen statue in Merthyr Tydfil,
The national vegetable (that's the leek).
Dylan Thomas, the esteemed poet,
Then the funnyman Rhys-Jones (Griff),
Time for a toast, a budget bottle of bubbly:
"Tidy darts, mun! Cymru am byth!"
Tony Crafter with:
After a joyous night of drugs, alcohol and wild sex, Eric woke up to find himself lying next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he'd made it home safely.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
A boy says to his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they're labelled LSD?' Gran replies, 'The hell with the pills, did you see those dragons in the kitchen?"
Vivian gets naked and says to hubby Colin, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?' Colin looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour?' Hospital visiting hours are 5-6pm.
Cyril's wife is on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was to suggest they hold auditions for her part. The viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 till 8:30.
I awoke this morning at 9 o'clock and I could sense that something was wrong. On going downstairs, I found my wife lying on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked, I just did not know what to do. Then I remembered, McDonalds serves breakfast until 10:30.
My wife packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!”.
I bought my wife Alice a hamster-skin coat yesterday. Last night I took her to the fair, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
Last night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. "Only you, Marcia," I told her, "only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm may take several weeks.
You know what I did before I got married?
Absolutely anything I wanted to.
=
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles last night. My next crap could spell disaster.
Old people at weddings always poke me and say, "You're next!"
So now I've started doing the same to them at funerals.
My missus said: "Watcha doing today?"
I said, "Nothing."
She said, "You did that yesterday."
I said, "I wasn't finished."
The importance of walking:
Walking can supposedly add hours to a person's life.
This enables you at 85 years of age to spend an additional 3 months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month.
My grandpop started off walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 and we don't know where the hell he is.
I do like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so I could hear the sound of heavy breathing again.
I need to walk early in the mornings before my brain works out what the hell I'm doing...
Every time I hear that dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
Seems I suffer from flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Frankly, the only benefit to be had from hard work-outs every day is, when you die, they'll say, 'Ah, he looks well doesn't he!'
If you're going to try cross-country skiing, you'd best start off with a small country.
I got most of my exercise during the last few years just getting over the hill.
We only get heavier as we grow older because there's more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Whenever I think how haggard and bad I look, I'll find a pub with a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
When you think about it, God really is the best inventor of them all.
He took a rib from Adam and made a loudspeaker.
Mike Torr with:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
=
Out of the night of rum and scotch—
Unconquerable spirits, both—
I curse whatever gods did botch
My corporal frame, in doleful oath.
In twitching bounce of loathsome dream
I stirred, then spewed my weary guts;
And, in the potent headache steam,
Craved sober death by fifty cuts.
Amongst the overtures of hell,
They flung me all a man could sink;
A hateful alcoholic spell;
The bane of manhood, which bade, "drink!"
Anatomy can let you down,
Yet merciless the stoned hurrah.
I am the statesman of the town:
I am the pontiff of the bar.
Mike Torr with:
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimm’d:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
=
Shall I compare thee to a hairy nerd?
Thou art more reason'd and more fiery:
Thin screams do maim the text of spoken word,
And teenage hate hath all too hale a glee:
Sometime too loose the source of headroom frays,
And often is its heathen manna spill'd;
And every sage from sage sometime decays,
By universe from shade unnerving fill'd:
But thy numeric murmur shall not waste,
Nor lose possession of that sage thou ow'st;
Nor shall bums claim thou mumbl'st in blind haste,
When in distended hide to term thou grow'st:
So long as lines can rhyme, and hearts are free,
So long lives this, and this gives choice to thee.
Adie Pena with:
Former mayor of London and Brexit campaign leader Boris Johnson's prize-winning limerick about Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan --
"There was a young fellow from Ankara
Who was a terrific wankerer.
Till he sowed his wild oats
With the help of a goat
But he didn’t even stop to thankera."
=
This wayward fool thinks he's a poet
Derogatorily insulting a man from Turkey;
For he can be most irrational,
Brewing with hollow ideas so murky.
If he rejected PM David's answered plea,
Rationalizing the bandwagon for Brexit.
Won't he endorse an appropriate plan
For the UK once he wrecks it?
1st -
2nd -
3rd -
Adie Pena with:
Omar Mir Seddique Mateen ~
did aim at more men, queers.
Jesse Frankovich with:
House Democrats =
Most are douches!
David Bourke with:
Intercourse three times per day =
Enter your Miss, repeated thrice!
View with:
Pro MILFs on ~
porno films
Rick Rothstein with:
Cher's twat? ~
Screw that!