THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
Unfair insolence ~
can ruin one's life.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Wearing one's birthday suit ~
was beneath our dignity, sir.

David Bourke with:
Last-minute post =
Input's most late!

David Bourke with:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions =
The evil shalt go down it, on to Hades' perdition.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Confine yourself to the present." - Marcus Aurelius
=
Lucius' co-emperor's line: There's no fantasy future.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions =
So, don't negotiate with the devil or do his plan!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions =
Poll: Do saints with devotion go there in death?

Dharam Khalsa with:
To pay someone a compliment =
Top men employ it as a come-on!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Real estate agent: "Location, location, location!" =
No, a little too close to a canal. I can't agree on it.

Dharam Khalsa with:
A ringing of the ears =
I hear a nesting frog!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Every end is a new beginning (anonymous) =
In a way, morning ensues beyond evening.

Ellie Dent with:
Head in the clouds =
Hatched delusion.

Ellie Dent with:
I'm not in love =
No, I'm violent!

Josiah Winslow with:
Magnetic pull =
Metal cling-up

Meyran Kraus with:
I must try on a cape ~
in a costume party.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions =
The stair to heaven is piled with "DO NOT!" on gold

Rick Rothstein with:
The American presidency =
Impeach? Tendency is rare.

Rosie Perera with:
The dark, racist underbelly of America =
A myth/creed: "adult blacks are inferior".

Rosie Perera with:
Drone photography =
Had the gyro prop on.

Rosie Perera with:
One of the problems with being a younger sibling =
Big brother blames you if pees on own leg in night.

Scott Gardner with:
Presidential pardon ‡
A pal did enter prison.

Tom Myers with:
Let's call it a day. =
Last act, lay idle

Tom Myers with:
In a council flat ‡
financial clout

Tony Crafter with:
Time and tide wait for no man =
No, damn it! I'm in for a wet date!

View with:
Postpartum depression =
Ma needs top support, sir.

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
"Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin =
People wanted a very sizable N.Y. hit!

Christopher Sturdy with:
To Kill the President by Sam Bourne =
Pre-eminent book, it's hardly subtle.

Ellie Dent with:
Reese Witherspoon in the movie Legally Blonde =
Her gene pool's yellow-tone hair is bedevilment!

George Sicherman with:
I have to buy the New York Times Sunday Edition. ~
Done. But it's heavy, and I think I wore out my eyes.

Julian Lofts with:
The iconic French actress Jeanne Moreau has died =
Such an enchantress. "Je t'adore, ma cherie," I confide.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
Damn it! Hundreds of people trust ~
President of the U.S. Donald Trump!

Adie Pena with:
First Lady Melania Trump at the G Twenty dinner =
Wealthy man's girl date met tyrant friend Putin.

Adie Pena with:
July One: National Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day =
Fat America truly enjoyed cocaine over vanilla!

Christopher Davis with:
Nothingburger =
To bring hunger.

Christopher Sturdy with:
A North Korean nuclear missile test =
Nutter's Alaska rhetoric - none smile.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Why Trump’s vengeful Tweeting matters =
Put gently, few might ever trust a.m. news!

Ellie Dent with:
Donald Trump's White House circus =
This ludicrous power's unmatched.

Josiah Winslow with:
The Trump-Russia collusion story
=
It's such a silly set-up rumor!




Or not...

Josiah Winslow with:
US healthcare system =
That's surely a scheme!

Julian Lofts with:
The undies dress code at Wimbledon ~
decided non-white must be sad loser.

Julian Lofts with:
Scaramucci - "No, not editor! I'm ~
a communications director!"

Snafu with:
The infant Charlie Gard dies =
Life is hard, then a tragic end.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
Theoretical physicist Stephen William Hawking =
He's the will, a capacity to impress while thinking!

Adie Pena with:
Damn it! Hundreds of people trust ~
President of the U.S. Donald Trump!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Madame Brigitte Marie-Claude Macron =
Let crude American bigot admire mama.

David Bourke with:
Tobias Vincent Maguire =
Ambitious acting? Never!

Ellie Dent with:
A M Turing, OBE =
I got a number!

John Fidler with:
Jodie Auckland Whittaker =
Dr Who, a tacit Dalek junkie

Julian Lofts with:
Searyl Atli =
It's really a.....?

Julian Lofts with:
Anthony Scaramucci is ~
a masochist, a cynic. Run!

Julian Lofts with:
Reince's ~
sincere.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
The Beatles' Apple Corps Ltd. =
The last celebrated pop LPs.

Christopher Sturdy with:
A Stentor Student Double Bass with a Roland Cube Amp
=
Sounds superb:
The low, loud beat in a band attracts me.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
George Harrison's Top Three Beatles Songs
1. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
2. Something
3. Here Comes The Sun
=
1. Huge hit. (Yes, E. Clapton on guitar!)
2. She's my gal; we're together
3. Winter's gone, Spring's here -- see them blossom!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers =
My philosophy is: Giggle at one's own sly nonsense. It's braver and guilt-free.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Trump tells the First Lady of France, Brigitte Macron: “You’re in such good shape … beautiful” =
She is fine, coy, truly glamorous, but he is daft, not fit, corrupt, regretful, and impeachable!

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Five Wealthiest People in the World Today:
Jeff Bezos
Bill Gates
Amancio Ortega
Warren Buffett
Mark Zuckerberg
=
Amazon jungle fever
Plugged Microsoft
Zara line
Berkshire Hathaway title
Twit offered web FaceBook, slept better

Ellie Dent with:
Once, a trio, three blind mice pals, lived in a museum. One dark, dark night, after the museum closed, a mouse crawled there into
~
a suit of armor. And so, became lost, indeed incarcerated. Dismal, unwell even, our mouse cried: 'Help me make it thru' the knight!'

Julian Lofts with:
Deadly workplace gun violence happens in the Bronx Lebanon hospital yesterday =
Any hunches? Vexed Nigerian Dr Henry Bello boldly points a weapon, attacks people.

Julian Lofts with:
The Piers Gaveston Society at Oxford University means ~
fruity overtones, vice, sex, so a pig's head taints Tory men.

Julian Lofts with:
Hadi Asadi has won the International Trumpism Cartoon and Caricature Contest =
Ha, that trenchant Iranian competitor draws an idiot, earns mutinous accolades.

Julian Lofts with:
The great Swiss Roger Federer has beaten the poor Croatian Marin Cilic at Wimbledon =
Eight titles is a rare record to celebrate, sir - a win more than champion fan, Swede Borg.

Julian Lofts with:
"Women should be obscene and not heard," said comedian Groucho Marx =
"Ha!" I concur, "Men demand hardcore, oogamous sex with blondes on a bed."

Julian Lofts with:
A more sacred place for the British does not exist in the world, said politician Winston Churchill =
I adopt ironic criticism of Passchendaele (this horrendous, hellish World War I battle) in context.



Mark Huffman with:
Donald Trump, President of the United States of America =
Admits premeditated foul depths of treason? Uncertain.

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
Endure elected rude leader Trump
(A son is Eric; one unlaced ex is Maples)
Our unsure careers are in a dump;
On head one rug he got at Staples!

Christopher Sturdy with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
Round up the usual terror suspects
(Mexican and colored people, he directs);
Meet Eurasian enemies. Unreal!
Reason - agree unguarded deal.

David Bourke with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
America's demon ruler - a dunderhead,
a purple-complexioned creature
in a ludicrous orange toupée
...he guaranteed utter senselessness!

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
Oh, appears a hotel entrepreneur
Deemed USA leader and president
Secure in luxurious grandeur
A curse: some allegiances to document

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
Huge prophecies unexplained
Endeared, amused or entertained
Astrologers speculate
Reasoners calculate
Undue rumours remained

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
Nostradamus lured and perplexed us
Recorded ideas in a menu to peruse
Either per nuance to challenge us
Or eerie anagram clues to use

Ellie Dent with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
A learned theme here, reader, seemed
designed to perplex us: Pretentious,
sure ... or is it an unscrupulous clue,
around a concealed anagram?

Josiah Winslow with:
"Le grand criard sans honte audacieux
Sera esleu gouuerneur de l'armee:
La hardiesse de son contenteur
Le pont rompu, cite de pur pasmee"
=
An unusual, unexpected germ,
Our people once elected as President:
He'll use a mad rage in each term,
Our roads are ruined as our residents.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
The Best Six Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals
1. Cats
2. Evita
3. Sunset Boulevard
4. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
5. Jesus Christ Superstar
6. The Phantom of the Opera
=
1. If shabby Grizabella is chosen
2. Che meets Eva
3. Max humors the wretched Norma
4. Jacob and sons outwitted
5. Peter, Judas at the Last Supper
6. Raoul loves and protects Christine.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) has it all. She's the president of her sorority, a Hawaiian Tropic girl, Miss June in her campus calendar, and, above all, a natural blonde. She dates the cutest fraternity boy on campus and wants nothing more than to be Mrs. Warner Huntington III. But, there's just one thing stopping Warner (Matthew Davis) from popping the question: Elle is too blonde.
=
Movie nets a nine

Misogynist law profession and gender stereotyping from American teens and that quite brilliant bit when our heroine sells that bend and snap routine.

Light hearted with an obvious plot?
No surprises perhaps, but so what?!
Get some popcorn; enjoy the show.
Crass prejudice all from a beau...
Hair colour shan't dim her wit;
Neat legal talents and he's not worth it!

Ellie Dent with:
HOW TO WASH THE CAT

Firstly, clean the toilet. Add the required amount of suitable shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him carefully towards the bathroom.

In one smooth movement, put the cat into the toilet and then close both the lids (and you may need to stand on the lid yourself so that he cannot escape).

CAUTION!!!

Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any grip they can find.

~

Flush the toilet twice.

Have someone open the door to the outside, and ensure that there is nobody between the toilet and the outside door.

Stand as far behind the toilet as you comfortably can, and lift both lids equally in a prompt action. Abracadabra! Your changed tomcat, Tommy, now lovely and clean, will shoot out of that toilet and happily hotfoot it outside; when he can straightaway dry himself in the open ... where too, the cat might catch some of that hot sun.

Yours sincerely

THE DOG.

Snafu with:
A List of Seven Natural Wonders
1. The Iguacu Falls
2. Halong Bay
3. Jeju Island
4. The Puerto Princesa Underground River National Park
5. Table Mountain
6. Komodo Island
7. The Amazon Rainforest
=

Portend a hefty thrill
1. Brazil-Argentina border
2. Vietnam, offshore
3. aka Jejudo, S. Korea
4. Saint Paul Mountain Range tunnels
5. Cape Town
6. Unusual old dragons live on island
7. South America

Julian Lofts with:
Forbes Magazine's Top Four of the Highest Paid Male Actors
1. Dwayne Douglas Johnson
2. Jackie 'Sing Lung' Chan
3. Matt Paige Damon
4. Tom Cruise Mapother IV
=
Thespians
1. MVP - 'The Rock', huge muscled demigod
2. Martial artist, comedian, jester (haha)
3. Jason Bourne
4. 'Top Gun' whiz. Man is a fan of Scientology (gag). A poof?

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
EVERYTHING ON IT
by Shel Silverstein

I asked for a hot dog
With everything on it,
And that was my big mistake,
‘Cause it came with a parrot,
A bee in a bonnet,
A wristwatch, a wrench, and a rake.
It came with a goldfish,
A flag, and a fiddle,
A frog, and a front porch swing,
And a mouse in a mask —
That’s the last time I ask
For a hot dog with everything.

=

NATIONAL HOT DOG MONTH

Whiffing preservatives;
Gorging on nitrate.
I'd paddywhack this bummer.
Favorite habit somewhat:
Watching a fat kid's weight.
We eat seven billion a summer!
What a die-hard tradition,
He has damage anyway!
Don't ask if it's healthy.
"Afraid to get colorectal cancer?"
That's a frank answer,
So abstaining is the key!

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st -

2nd -

3rd -
Adie Pena with:
The dirty old man =
My tilted hard-on.

Christopher Sturdy with:
You had best prepare yourself for rather a shock
=
H.H. The Pope - a rosy-arsed altar boy fucker for sure.