1st - Tom Myers with:
I hate long goodbyes =
Do go hastily -- be gone.
2nd - Christine Parker with:
A man in a dress. ~
and, a "near-Miss".
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
The dawn's golden light =
How the glint gladdens!
Rosie Perera with:
- Do you like Boolean humor?
- Well, yes and no...
=
Ah, look, you need some new loud binary LOL.
Tom Myers with:
I am waiting for the post =
Oh, I fast grow impatient
Tony Crafter with:
The search for happiness ~
often has riches perhaps?
View with:
A comfort food =
Factor of mood
Ellie Dent with:
A soul in torment ~
turns emotional.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Playing gooseberry =
No eager boy-girl spy
Adie Pena with:
A dangerous world =
One saw a drug lord!
Tyler Severance with:
Stinky armpits =
It parts my skin.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Platonic relationships =
Patient passion, or chill?
Ellie Dent with:
Delusional =
Don: "I sue all!"
Dharam Khalsa with:
Actual v. fake news =
Knew a fact's value.
Rick Rothstein with:
Oh crap, little passion in ~
platonic relationships.
Christopher Davis with:
He who farts in church sits in his own pew, ~
his one waft: stench which ruins worship.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Loafers ~
For Sale.
Rosie Perera with:
Fortune cookie messages =
Forsake seeing outcomes
Ed Pegg Jr with:
Inverted totalitarianism =
"Alternative" intimidators.
Tom Myers with:
I have a very bad feeling about this =
Boy had this vague, inevitable fear
Christopher Davis with:
Human glee will entail a message =
We all smile in the same language
Tom Myers with:
The great outdoors =
Route to God's heart.
Tom Myers with:
Liberals end more ~
armed rebellions.
Rosie Perera with:
The problem of flatulence =
Too full, men pee, belch, fart.
Tom Myers with:
Some tavern ~
to serve man!
Ellie Dent with:
Another day in paradise? =
Arise, hardy Antipodean!
Tom Myers with:
Travel the world and the seven seas =
The vessel and whoever translated.
Tom Myers with:
Times are hard. =
There is drama.
Christine Parker with:
A cure for hiccups =
Crush four Ipecac....
Dharam Khalsa with:
A collection of weapons =
Place into case now, fool!
Rosie Perera with:
Racism up; a term: ~
Trump's America.
Rosie Perera with:
Thats the way the cookie crumbles =
The black & white Oreos? Say, cut them!
Tom Myers with:
Mutton chop sideburns =
Scottish men 'round pub.
Christopher Sturdy with:
I turn over the page of my calendar and I sigh in bliss=
I love today!
And if March began,
Sunlit spring is here.
Dharam Khalsa with:
On second thought =
Test hunch, no good.
Christopher Sturdy with:
An omnivore gets a really balanced diet =
I consider any vegetable and/or all meat.
David Bourke with:
Lactose intolerant =
No cattle relations.
Josiah Winslow with:
I'm wearing a tinfoil hat =
I might wait for an alien!
Maurice Goddard with:
My mouth-watering culinary ravishment's? =
Answer: having rich, yummy, mature Stilton!
Rick Rothstein with:
Easier said than done =
See, "not hard" is an idea.
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
George Orwell's dystopian novel "Animal Farm" =
Allegory of Stalin, men, pigs, love, war, and more.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Claude Monet's paintings of London Parliament =
Famous, old stone prominent in England capital.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
Moonlight wins Best Picture at the Oscars =
Oh, but PwC got to star in this real nice mess!
View with:
"Hidden Figures" (based on the untold true story) =
The best unhonoured girls destined for a duty
Tony Crafter with:
Adele Adkins wins five Grammys this year =
This sweary female singer's my kinda diva!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe =
Soon a recluse, I befriend nobody
Dharam Khalsa with:
"This is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius" =
So, again, stuff in the quite aged show "Hair".
Tom Myers with:
A band's big reunion =
ABBA is enduring on.
Tom Myers with:
If not opera, ~
pianoforte?
Tom Myers with:
The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley =
Purely aesthetic sex? Oh, bloody profound!
David Bourke with:
The Columbian actress and model Sofia Vergara =
Most desirable charms...no actual need of Viagra!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Fisherman's Cottage on the Cliffs at Varengeville =
Monet still revealing effect of high art canvases
1st (eq) - Josiah Winslow with:
The United States of America ~
seems to hide a "fact" ain't true.
1st (eq) - Tony Crafter with:
Tony Blair calls for people to rise against Brexit =
Past political interferer says, "Ignore ballot box!"
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Oscars Award for Best Picture ~
is other actors' after bad screw-up.
Rosie Perera with:
Donald Trump doesn't read? =
No, dude; man's part-toddler.
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Nevertheless, she persisted." =
She resisted; she never slept.
Josiah Winslow with:
America's President, Donald Trump =
Prepare act to rid and end Muslims!
Julian Lofts with:
Harold Moore dies =
So admire old hero.
Julian Lofts with:
The Oroville dam is nearly failing =
Golly, I mean rain has overfilled it.
Adie Pena with:
National Security Advisor =
Ordeal on Russian activity.
Christopher Davis with:
Yes, it's major to America ~
James Comey is a traitor.
View with:
The Valentine's day celebrations =
Ye can end battles - LOVE's in the air!
Rosie Perera with:
USA hero! We like the ~
White House Leaker.
Mark Huffman with:
"Alternative facts" =
Venial statecraft.
Julian Lofts with:
The trite slogan 'Made For Sharing' =
Frogs rioted, hate English mantra.
Adie Pena with:
"Refugee attack on Sweden" story =
Your created Fake News got sent!
Julian Lofts with:
He is such a malignant narcissist =
Then assassinating him's crucial!
View with:
Seven earth-like exoplanets =
Seek here as next plan to live.
Ellie Dent with:
Trump-Russia links =
A slur? Putin smirks...
Rosie Perera with:
A ticking timebomb: ~
Big, bent, atomic Kim.
David Bourke with:
Current president of The United States of America =
As true certified fact, there's not one stupider man!
View with:
The transgender =
Strange trend, eh?
Julian Lofts with:
Russia's closeness =
Sessions's recusal.
Julian Lofts with:
Wire tapping rumor =
Trump airing power.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
1. Barack Obama
2. George W Bush
3. Donald Trump =
1. A black, wet-rag paragon
2. Oh, so dumb!
3. Dumber
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The President of the United States, Donald Trump =
Inept, and tests for aptitude should end the term!
3rd (eq) - Ellie Dent with:
Claude Monet, a French Impressionist ~
has painted common 'Sunrise', I reflect.
3rd (eq) - Ed Pegg Jr with:
Sean Spicer =
I cane press.
Ivan Andonov with:
The American movie director Paul Thomas Anderson ~
made a picture on oilmen horrors that saved cinema.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Nathan Mayer Rothschild =
That's hardly no rich name!
Josiah Winslow with:
Secretary of Education, Elisabeth Devos =
Ooh, you see described "alternative facts"!
Christopher Sturdy with:
Sir Thomas John Woodrow OBE
Boo Tom Jones, who was horrid!
View with:
Diane von Furstenberg =
Design for urban event.
Christopher Davis with:
Steve Bannon is the real President =
Not seen; behind alternative press
Adie Pena with:
Breitbart's Milo Yiannopoulos =
Inamorato possibly in trouble.
Rosie Perera with:
Alt-Right provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos =
A vulgar homo rat into pure loony politics.
Tom Myers with:
Emma Stone =
Me? Am on set.
David Bourke with:
Shirley MacLaine =
Silly American, eh?
1st - Julian Lofts with:
Justice Department =
Eject Trump instead.
2nd - Josiah Winslow with:
The United States of America
=
TEST
If...
| Same | ☐ IN |
| Hated race | ☑ OUT |
3rd (eq) - Dharam Khalsa with:
National Public Radio show 'All Things Considered' =
Sheds a balanced light on politicians in our world.
3rd (eq) - David Bourke with:
The Seahorse Society of New South Wales =
Yes, he's out of the closet...now a she, I swear!
Ivan Andonov with:
The President of the United States of America =
That red toupee affects hastened minorities.
Christine Parker with:
The Sistine Chapel =
It's special, then, eh?
Rosie Perera with:
Immigration and Customs Enforcement =
Memo: "Find incoming men; act: arrest, oust."
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Republic of France =
A triple-coffee brunch?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Immigration and Customs Enforcement =
I mustn't commend "foreign" to Americans.
Julian Lofts with:
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Acts ~
entail cunning, secretive, illegal forces.
View with:
The Montreal Canadiens =
Hard, mean talents on ice.
Julian Lofts with:
The Environmental Protection Agency =
One notion: try prevent climate change.
Rick Rothstein with:
The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
Note: Climate change's ruin not proven yet.
Tony Crafter with:
Portugal's Supreme Court =
Large, pompous structure.
Adie Pena with:
The Trump Mar-a-Lago Estate =
A sheer attempt at glamour.
Maurice Goddard with:
President of the United States of America =
Nastiest toad Trump, seated here in office.
Rick Rothstein with:
The British Royal Family =
Hail my rosy life at birth.
Tom Myers with:
Marie's Creamy Caesar Dressing =
Disease carrying (mere sarcasm).
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Academy Award for Best Picture =
Corrected, but they made a fair swap.
Christine Parker with:
Dexafetamine =
Need a fix, mate?
Christine Parker with:
Methylphenidate (Ritalin) =
In the trial, it helped many.
Christopher Davis with:
National Oreo Cookie Day =
Okay, I do eat "no-no" calorie
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sydney Opera House =
You espy honed ears
1st - Adie Pena with:
Our last three VPs
1. Dick Cheney
2. Joe Biden
3. Mike Pence
=
1. Empty Republican joke
2. Honest; decisive
3. Redneck, eh?
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The All-time Top Five Musicals (Film4)
1. Singin' In The Rain
2. West Side Story
3. The Wizard of Oz
4. Cabaret
5. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg
=
1. A washout!
2. Fifties mobs tale
3. 4 bizarre chums step forth: Lion, scarecrow, tin guy, gal
4. Minelli blitzed this!
5. Me? Never heard of it!
3rd - Julian Lofts with:
'The Little Prince' is a novella by author Antoine de Saint-Exupery
=
You love existential truth neatly enshrined in a poetic parable.
Christopher Davis with:
Two Thousand Seventeen is the new Nineteen Eighty Four =
Done when they use it to refute the nation's evening news
Dharam Khalsa with:
Hopi proverb: "Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself."
=
Trump, are you deeply dense or oblivious, openly foolhardy, or else nefarious?
Dharam Khalsa with:
Senator Mitch McConnell, "She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted."
=
That's right! As men whose lips silence Warren help enhance and extend women's vocal assertiveness.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Donald Trump, President of the United States of America =
I'd fit a pliant Supreme Court that defers to one's demand.
Maurice Goddard with:
1. Donald John Trump
2. Stephen Kevin Bannon
3. Kellyanne Elizabeth Conway
4. Sean Michael Spicer
=
1. Con, he can tyrannize
2. Harsh, evil, lethal snake
3. Dumb melon-nippled ninny cow!
4. Bent ape's a joke!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Trump to Press: "This administration is running like a fine-tuned machine."
=
Interrupting in mournful panic: "And, to think, I inherited a mess! It's a MESS!!"
Maurice Goddard with:
1. Tony Crafter
2. Meyran Kraus
3. Jesse Frankovich
4. David Bourke
5. Adie Pena
=
1. Dab hand at verse!
2. Famed victor
3. A sure freak
4. Joker in irony
5. Spunky ace
Mark Huffman with:
Milo Yiannopolous, Breitbart's controversial gay ex-editor =
"Errant, illicit boy-sex is very normal, not too bad," I argue. Oops!
Mark Huffman with:
Donald Trump, President of the United States of America =
A Democrat's left upset, despondent, or infuriated at him.
Josiah Winslow with:
The President of the United States of America, Donald Trump =
Lot of sad, fed-up men uttered "He is Presi-don't that Ameri-can't!"
Mark Huffman with:
Donald Trump, President of the United States of America=
Monster fired! Run out defiant despot, impeached at last!
Tyler Severance with:
Donald Trump, The President of the United States of America =
Proud rhetorician's entitlement to head seat, dumped staff.
Tom Myers with:
Trump declines to attend White House correspondents' dinner =
Wild! Unprecedented! Resentment ditches roast in POTUS' honor.
Mark Huffman with:
"And the Academy Award for Best Motion Picture goes to...La La Land!" =
A Beatty Oscar fail! Update declares noted drama Moonlight won!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Spring is sprung,
The grass is riz;
I wonder where the birdies iz!
=
Thrush dip,
Riding breezes;
Iris grows, with spring air sneezes!
Dharam Khalsa with:
The truth is still always the truth, even if everyone denies it.
=
So, lad, the lie is a lie, even when they trust it. Verify, then trust!
Christopher Sturdy with:
The string section of the orchestra - first and second violins, violas, cellos and double basses.
=
Horrible dissonant screeching!
Sound is endless vocal sobs of a litter of cats' violent deaths!
Dharam Khalsa with:
The string section of the orchestra:
1. first violins
2. second violins
3. violas
4. cellos
5. double basses
=
1. front, visible solos
2. restless clones
3. no less significant
4. cohesive chords
5. authoritative, bold
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Bushism: "I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office."
=
The Liar-in-Chief, man who then had the bomb, needed oversight, Cliffs grammar book, or...ahem...better White House security!
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Math is
About
The wanna-be
Highway
Engineer's
Major
Aim to evaulate;
To me,
It is a fib - that
Compulsory way to
Suffer!
- Alfred E. Neuman
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Ooh fate, a trauma maybe? Wait, have faith. I mean, I/we must be fair, mature, aware: count the blessings one
enjoys. Go forth and multiply!
3rd - Josiah Winslow with:
The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman=
You see a range of formulae that have infinite magic. How? That data ain't pretty, so what? I'm unaware, I see a jumble of number symbols.
Dharam Khalsa with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Ma, Pa, wanna be awesome? Have free family time? Just try to teach your son or daughter about baffling "new math". Easiest humiliation!
Rosie Perera with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
I tease: You can prove a few theorems, fathom Ramanujan's number. Giant abilities, but how might that alone feed your family? A waste!
Rosie Perera with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
"Who needs it? (It may be a familiar habit anyway.) We use fast computers to figure out elaborate algorithms. Ah, the fame!" -- J. von Neumann
Adie Pena with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Ah, far from true I see! As a boy, I remember to audit instantly how we just spent my fat allowance on a fun habit, a hit movie, a huge game!
Maurice Goddard with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Hey! I am a bit easy! A relief for me the fat ol' meanie jealous missus Barbara May can't put two and two together when I'm out having fun!
Dharam Khalsa with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
We women have, at whim, the affinity for math, but not the job employability of:
a Euler
a Gauss
a Descartes
a Riemann
a Turing
a mouse
David Bourke with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman =
But in the Anagrammy Forum, it is just how far behind top of the league T. Crafter I always am...I believe he's awesome...nay, an automaton!
Christopher Sturdy with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Anyone remember that awful eighties Owen Paul hit, "You're My Favourite Waste Of Time"?
(A bad girl as a subject, not maths)
Ah, I am no fan.
Tony Crafter with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Me, I spent a lifetime as a fan of regulation grammar, but human tweeters today use abbreviation anyhow. Justice? Ha!
Hey-ho, wtf (lmao).
Dharam Khalsa with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
But my wife and I use math a lot:
To tutor her in U.S. baseball
To measure her heavy weight
To finance my affair
To manage some jaw pain!
Julian Lofts with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
Some hold the view that mere formulation of any anagrams with just a computer, without using a brain, may be a feeble feat. Aye, a sin.
View with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
But wait! There are some who use math for their ambitions - put each 'neat' attorney, money loving judges, a base mafia, an awful family!
Tom Myers with:
"The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it." - James Newman
=
I hate algebra, geometry and arithmatic -- they bum me out. We love marijuana, snuff, women, other essential habituations --saw payoff!
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Several men were in a golf club changing room. Suddenly, a cell-phone on a bench rang and one of the men engaged the hands-free speaker function and started to chat.
Everyone else in the room stopped to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi babe, it's me. Are you down at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm doing some shopping right now and I've found this gorgeous, pure leather jacket. It's only $2K; do you mind if I buy it?"
MAN: "No, just go ahead if you want it."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and viewed their latest models. There was this cherry-red one that I particularly loved."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$70K."
MAN: "Sounds good. Go ahead, but for that price I'd want it with all the bells and whistles. Leather upholstery and so on."
WOMAN: "Oh, wow! Right, I'll do the deal! Oh, and one other thing... I was just talking to Judith Hoddle and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980K."
MAN: "Bid $900K. They'll probably take it. If not, I'd be happy to do the extra eighty-thousand if that's what you want."
WOMAN: "Oh, right! I love you so much, honey. See you later!"
MAN: "Bye. Love you too."
The man hung up. The other guys in the locker room were gawping at him in open-mouthed astonishment.
He turned round and said: "Anybody know whose phone this is?"
=
Ring, ring... Ring, ring... ring...
'Hello?'
'Hey there, honey, it's Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy. She's in the bedroom with Uncle Alan.'
(After a brief pause)
'... But you haven't got an Uncle Alan, honey.'
'Yes I have, and he is upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now.'
(Brief pause...)
'Er... okay, honey, this is what I want you to do: Lay the telephone down on the table. Then go upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and call out to Mommy that Daddy's car is just coming into the driveway. Okay?'
'Okay, I'm going up now.'
(A few minutes later...)
'I did what you asked me to, Daddy."
'Fine, and exactly what happened, honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug and hit her head real bad on the dresser. Now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh, my God! So, what about your Uncle Alan? Can he assist?'
'No, he jumped out of the bed with no clothes on as well Then, he was so scared that he jumped straight out of the back window and fell head-first into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out all the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's been killed.'
(A long pause...)
(A longer pause...)
(An even longer pause...)
'Swimming pool...? Er... is that 99800702?'
'No, I think you have the wrong number...'
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
1 George Washington
2 John Adams
3 Thomas Jefferson
4 James Madison
5 James Monroe
6 John Quincy Adams
7 Andrew Jackson
8 Martin Van Buren
9 William H. Harrison
10 John Tyler
11 James K. Polk
12 Zachary Taylor
13 Millard Fillmore
14 Franklin Pierce
15 James Buchanan
16 Abraham Lincoln
17 Andrew Johnson
18 Ulysses S. Grant
19 Rutherford B. Hayes
20 James A. Garfield
21 Chester A. Arthur
22 Grover Cleveland
23 Benjamin Harrison
24 Grover Cleveland
25 William McKinley
26 Theodore Roosevelt
27 William H. Taft
28 Woodrow Wilson
29 Warren G. Harding
30 Calvin Coolidge
31 Herbert Hoover
32 Franklin D. Roosevelt
33 Harry S. Truman
34 Dwight D. Eisenhower
35 John F. Kennedy
36 Lyndon B. Johnson
37 Richard M. Nixon
38 Gerald R. Ford
39 James E. Carter
40 Ronald Reagan
41 George H.W. Bush
42 William J. Clinton
43 George W. Bush
44 Barack H. Obama
45 Donald J. Trump
=
1 High Mason
2 John lived in White House
3 Slaveholder
4 Bill of Rights
5 Longhand declaration
6 John's son
7 Harsh war man
8 Drab job
9 Just one month
10 Many kids
11 Naval Academy start, Mexican war
12 Died on job
13 Land agreement
14 Drank in term
15 Secession
16 Slavery abolisher
17 Loyal to North
18 Civil War Gen.
19 College wife
20 Offed
21 Civil Service
22 Two disjoining terms
23 Grandson
24 Another long term
25 Added offshore land
26 World journey or French lunch
27 Supreme Court
28 World War
29 Scandal
30 Born on July Fourth
31 Depression
32 Japan bomber, reformer
33 Gave 'em hell
34 Korean War
35 Handsome man
36 No quarrel
37 Jowly man, ejected on hijinks
38 Awkward stumbler
39 Farmer, aka 'Jimmy'
40 In Wrangler jeans
41 Warmonger
42 Hillary's man
43 Chevron shill, lying jerk
44 Black march organizer
45 Braggart (no rajah or high maharajah!)
3rd - Julian Lofts with:
The Key Members of the British Royal Family
1. Queen Elizabeth II
2. Philip, the Prince of .....
3. Charles, Prince of Wales
4. Camilla
5. William
6. Kate, Duchess of Cambridge
7. George
8. Charlotte
9. Harry
10. Anne
11. Andrew, Duke of York
12. Edward
=
The Firm
1. Matriarch "Lilibet"
2. Greece and Denmark
3. "Fred"
4. "Gladys" (what a shrew, we whisper!)
5. Zealous helicopter pilot "Billy the Fish"
6. Uh, a kooky commoner, I cried
7. Boy
8. Girl
9. Macho "Spike"
10. Equine face
11."Randy ...."
12. Effete banal earl.
Dharam Khalsa with:
The prayer of St. Francis of Assissi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
=
Just an author's observation:
You and I currently see or hear the familiar atmosphere of
whitewashed racism, bloodshed, desperation, helplessness,
shame, fear ahead.
However, we observe this:
The standard faithless attitudes of jittery worry,
disproportionate irritability, deferred defeat,
introversion, general weakness.
In response, we need to counter this with authentic
knowledge, determination, meditation, neighborhood
engagement, togetherness, sisterhood, civility,
honest work, perseverance.
Dharam Khalsa with:
If you must look back, do so forgivingly.
If you must look forward, do so prayerfully.
However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present. Gratefully.
- Maya Angelou
=
Guess I will fully overlook George Bush the Younger's years of atrocity (now a family guy).
Hope to vote for a key woman president.
But, thankfulness for Donald Trump is idiocy!
Maurice Goddard with:
"The opinion of this so-called judge, which essentially takes law-enforcement away from our country, is ridiculous and will be overturned!"
=
The raucous and eerie egomaniac bully, Donald John Trump, now at Oval Office's desk, heinous swine tweets horrific crudest rot willy-nilly!
Julian Lofts with:
Actor Andrew Garfield is the main star in the biographical war film drama 'Hacksaw Ridge' by the controversial director Mel Gibson and set on the island of ~
Okinawa. Pacifist medic is a heroic wartime battler, scaling gradients, thrillingly saving harmed band of brothers on a stretcher. Awarded Medal of Honor.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Ten actual award-winning SNL cast (or cult) members, all with rank,
according to a "Rolling Stone" write-up I was reading:
1. John Belushi
2. Eddie Murphy
3. Tina Fey
4. Mike Myers
5. Dan Aykroyd
6. Bill Murray
7. Phil Hartman
8. Amy Poehler
9. Gilda Radner
10. Chevy Chase
=
1. Samurai Hitman
2. "Kill My Landlord"; Buckwheat
3. Sarah Palin
4. Linda Richman; Wayne's World
5. President Jimmy Carter
6. The new guy; Nick the Lounge Singer
7. Caveman Lawyer
8. Betty Caruso
9. Lisa Loopner; the brainy city girl
10. Gerald Ford; his deadpan humor
Tony Crafter with:
Travelling down the highway and needing a toilet, I pulled in at a service station and headed for the Gents'.
"While I'm sitting in a cubicle, a voice from the adjoining one says, Hi, how are you?"
Hmm... Now I'm not the kind to hold a conversation in a public toilet and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "I'm doing fine!"
And the other person says: "So what are you up to?"
Huh? What kind of question's that? At that point, I'm thinking this is far too weird so I said: "Er, I'm like you, I'm travelling"
By this time I'm ready to exit the place as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"
OK, this question's way too weird for me so I figure I'll be polite and end the conversation. I tell them: "Erm, I'm afraid I'm rather busy right now."
Then I hear the person sigh... "Listen, I'll have to ring off and call you back. There's some moron in the next cubicle who keeps answering all my questions!
Ah, mobile phones, don't you just love 'em?!
=
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Quinn in a steaming rage with a packed suitcase in his hand.
"What is the matter Quinn?" she asks concernedly.
"What is the matter?" he says, "Oi'll tell ya what is the matter. Oi sent an e-mail to me wife telling her oi was comin' home today from me fishin' trip. Oi got back at lunchtime and guess what oi found? Only me wife, your daughter Bridie, naked with dat idiot Kevin O'Toole in our bed! This is unforgivable. It's over, oi'm goin'. Oi'm leavin' forever!"
"Steady, Quinn, just cool down," chides his mother-in-law. "There's got to be somethin' very odd goin' on here. Oi'm positive Bridie wouldn't do such an idiotic thing, so there's got to be an innocent explanation. Oi'll speak to her straight away and find out just what's happenin'."
Minutes later, the mother-in-law comes back in with a big smile on her face. "Yep, it's all okay, Quinn, oi told ya there'd be an explanation... She never got your e-mail!"
Tony Crafter with:
Arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone, and I'd already had to call several times before he even answered it."
Immediately, the outraged husband drove off to see the man and demand an apology.
Before he could utter more than a word or two, the chemist said, "Just a minute, please hear my side of the story.
"This morning my alarm clock didnt go off, so I was pretty late getting up.
"I went without breakfast and rushed out to my car, only to find I had locked my house with both house and car keys inside, so I had to break a window to retrieve my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about two miles from the store, I had a flat tyre.
"When I finally got to work late, a crowd of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started serving them. All the time the darned phone was ringing.
"Then I had to break open a roll of ten-cent coins against the cash register drawer and they spilled out all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees and pick them all up and the phone was still ringing.
When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a display stand with about fifty bottles of perfume on it. Half of them hit the floor and smashed.
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing without let up, and when I finally got to answer it, it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
"And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.
=
Mitch and his good pal Walt decided go on a skiing trip, so they stacked up Mitch's van and headed north.
After travelling for some hours, they got caught in a raging snowstorm, so they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive blonde woman who answered the door if they could shelter there for the night.
'Well,' said the woman, 'I realise that the weather is terrible out there and I happen to have this big house all to myself, but I am recently widowed. All the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'No problem,' Mitch said. 'We'll be happy to bunk down in the barn, and if the bad weather clears up, we'll be gone in the morning.'
The woman agreed, so the men went to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared and the two companions set off for a fantastic weekend's skiing.
Some nine months later, Mitch got an unexpected letter from a legal firm. It took him a few moments to work it out, but he finally realised it was from the lawyers of the attractive widow they'd met on the skiing trip.
Later that morning, he called at Walt's house and asked, 'Do you recall that fine-looking widow from the farm we stopped at on that skiing trip nine months ago?'
'Yes, I do,' replied Walt.
'Er... did you happen to disappear in the night and go up to the house to pay her a visit?'
'Well... yes,' Walt said, now feeling a bit embarrassed. 'I have to confess, I did.'
'And did you also happen to give her my name instead of yours?'
Walt's face turned as red as a beetroot. 'Gee, I'm so sorry Mitch; I'm afraid I did. Er... why do you ask?'
'Seems she's just died and left me everything.'
1st - Tony Crafter with:
HAPPY NEW YEAR
by ABBA
No more champagne,
And the fireworks are through,
Here we are me and you,
Feeling lost and feeling blue;
It's the end of the party,
And the morning seems so grey,
So unlike yesterday,
Now's the time for us to say ...
Happy New Year
Happy New Year
May we all have a vision now and then,
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend,
Happy New Year
Happy New Year
May we all have our hopes our will to try,
If we don't we might as well lay down and die,
You and I.
Sometimes I see
How the brave new world arrives,
And I see how it thrives,
In the ashes of our lives;
Oh yes, man is a fool,
And he thinks he'll be okay
Dragging on, feet of clay,
Never knowing he's astray,
Keeps on going anyway ...
(Chorus)
Happy New Year
Happy New Year ...
Seems to me now,
That the dreams we had before
Are all dead, nothing more
Than confetti on the floor;
It's the end of a decade,
In another ten year's time,
Who can say what we'll find,
What lies waiting down the line,
In the end of eighty-nine ...
Happy New Year
Happy New Year
May we all have a vision now and then,
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend;
Happy New Year
Happy New Year
May we all have our hopes, our will to try,
If we don't we might as well lay down and die,
You and I.
=
THE UNHAPPY NEW YEAR?
A Naysayer (Anonymous)
Hold the champagne,
Celebrations aren't yet due,
Do we leave the EU?
Do you have a point of view?
It's the end of a sad year,
Many dead: Glenn Frey; Ali;
Bowie; Prince; Michael; Vee;
Wogan; Wilder; Harper Lee.
Happy New Year,
Happy New Year,
If we survive with Trump as President,
Might that loony fogey make the world lament?
Happy New Year,
Happy New Year,
Will the 'Remoaners' have their wish fulfilled?
And keep Britain in a waning EU still?
Maybe they will.
Gosh, now I hear
Tony Blair may re-emerge,
Does he feel a vain urge
To go for a power surge?
Ooh, but he's a known liar,
And we have to douse his fire,
Hey, don't be fooled, he'll aspire
To land his nation in the mire.
Happy New Year
Happy New Year...
I wonder why,
This sad world is full of doom,
Why the hate, why the gloom?
Why does danger always loom?
It's the end of an odd year,
One that has not been serene,
Who knows what waits unseen?
Does the grass look far more green
Now, in twenty-seventeen?
Iffy New Year,
Iffy New Year,
Who'll we see invading who and why?
In a world where death is raining from the sky,
Happy New Year,
Happy New Year,
How many innocents may go to graves,
Afraid, abandoned in a Syrian enclave?
Who's to say.
2nd -
Tony Crafter with:
IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN/IF I ONLY HAD A HEART
(From The Wizard of Oz)
BRAIN
I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel ev'ry riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln,
If you only had a brain.
Oh I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore,
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more.
I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry
Life would be ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain.
HEART
When a man's an empty kettle he should be on his mettle,
And yet I'm torn apart.
Just because I'm presumin' that I could be kind-a-human,
If I only had heart.
I'd be tender - I'd be gentle and awful sentimental
Regarding Love and Art.
I'd be friends with the sparrows
And the boys who shoots the arrows
If I only had a heart.
Picture me - a balcony.
Above a voice sings low.
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
I hear a beat... how sweet.
Just to register emotion, jealousy - devotion,
And really feel the part.
I could stay young and chipper
and I'd lock it with a zipper,
If I only had a heart.
=
IF I ONLY HAD A ...
By
The Donald
BRAIN
I could be another Lincoln
Or JFK or Clinton
For many years I'd reign.
I could be a fine orator
And a smoother operator
If I only had a brain.
Like the nerdy kid in college
I'd dazzle with my knowledge
Be funny, bright and sane
I'd be mindful and refined
And I'd never fluff a line
If I only had a brain
I'd favor health to wealth
Be faithful to the truth
And I'd not mourn in vain for my lost youth
I'd go to church, not be uncouth
I'd ensure that my decisions
Would never cause derision
My wild hair I would tame
I would curb each tweet and email
And not lust for nubile females
If I only had a brain.
Eh?
HEART
When a man is horny and all
His feelings he can't handle
He has to act the part
I'd eliminate the bluster
Warm emotions I would muster
If I only had a heart.
Man, when you just drip with riches
You sure appeal to bitches
Who're money-making tarts,
Oh, but I'd reject the weird ones
Look forthwith for the sincere ones
If I only had a heart.
What a life! A stunning wife
With her lovely clear blue eyes
What a trophy, what a prize
Is she bright? Who gives a shite!
How I'd love to be like cupid, and not just rather stupid
One wild, unruly fart
I'd not be an unshorn playboy
But a happy-every-day boy
If I only had a heart.
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
--Cecil Frances Alexander
=
A Dreadful Matter
With all resources exhausting,
All the birds endangered,
All glacial lands melting,
We must act on behalf of all grandchildren.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
If you miss the toilet's pan ~
you piss on the mat. It's life.
2nd - David Bourke with:
Situation normal: All fucked up =
And so: A foul lunatic like Trump.
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Girlie leaps on dick ~
like a coiled spring.
Julian Lofts with:
Platonic relationships =
No penis, slit or tail, chap.
View with:
The erotic lap dance =
Chap dealt erection
Tom Myers with:
God in heaven =
No head given
Tom Myers with:
Seven cocks is a rule for ~
a cure for lovesickness.
Adie Pena with:
Melania T. =
Anal time!
View with:
The toilet bowls =
To let bowel shit.