Nominations for Spetember, 2015

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Rik with:
The Royal Wedding =
Worthy gal, indeed.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Donald now rethinks that USA-Korea Summit =
"Turns out 'Kim' was not the Kardashian model!"

3rd - Brian Taylor with:
Some side effects of the drug Ambien can include ~
custom-made defence of unhinged racist beliefs.

Rosie Perera with:
School Superintendent Thomas Tramaglini ~
emits his random stool at the running place.

Christopher Sturdy with:
How a Remainer forecasts a post-Brexit world =
A record low set of exports as we harm Britain...

Julian Lofts with:
Derail an ~
Iran deal.

View with:
Paying hush money to Stormy Daniels =
Gamy idea to shut her lips (synonym, no?)

Dharam Khalsa with:
Who jumps out of the frying pan, into the fire? =
Those who join Trump in refuting the payoff!

Tony Crafter with:
The House of Lords is still trying to prevent Brexit =
Those rotters exult in defying British voters' poll.

Adie Pena with:
Tomorrow's newspaper headlines =
One saw the world in a proper mess!

Tony Crafter with:
The current Lords and Ladies of the House of Lords =
Loathed old EU diehards; stern, scornful of others.

Rik with:
The US-North Korea summit in Singapore =
Trump, Kim negotiate shares in honours.

Julian Lofts with:
Tom Wolfe has died =
Somewhat odd life.

Julian Lofts with:
The Big Island of Hawaii ~
is flowing a bit. Aha, hide!

Julian Lofts with:
National Geographic’s cover shows ~
plastic in ocean grave. Oh, how gross!

View with:
The Santa Fe shooting =
Hating oaf shot teens.

Ellie Dent with:
The Rev Michael Bruce Curry =
A merry church believer ... CUT!

AlanY with:
Much as we primly polite Brits love his church ~
will this Bishop Michael Curry chum ever stop?

Julian Lofts with:
Israeli stealth war plane ~
will trash Palestine area.

Julian Lofts with:
Uh, note Trump’s response to hothead Kim =
He postponed the US-North Korea summit

David Bourke with:
The Ireland abortion referendum =
Bar of her termination rule ended.

Tom Myers with:
The Roseanne show is canceled =
Racist -- hence end whole season.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Roseanne's tweets ~
are not sweetness.

John Ramos with:
"Roseanne" sitcom =
Neo-racism on set.

Rosie Perera with:
"Vigorous lava spattering" in Hawaii =
Wail again, gasp to survive in hot air.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Everybody, please stop calling him "President Trump" =
It shall simply encourage events prompted by pride!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Constitutional crisis =
Cross lunatic is into it.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st= Meyran Kraus with:
McDonald's, the American restaurant of choice =
The common cause of cardiac arrest in the land.

Dharam Khalsa with:
1st= President of the United States of America =
Fiasco, after he demonstrates ineptitude!

3rd - Rik with:
The FIFA World Cup =
We hold up traffic.

Rosie Perera with:
Temporary Protected Status =
Trump set to pare/destroy act.

Ellie Dent with:
Christie's Auction House, New York City =
Since you show us key art, rich notice it!

Rik with:
Google Calendar =
Cleared long ago.

Adie Pena with:
Total Petrochemicals USA =
'Cos that pollutes America!

Rosie Perera with:
General Data Protection Regulation =
A deal to curtail or gag open internet.

Tony Crafter with:
Auschwitz Concentration Camp, a World Heritage Site =
Where Nazis cremated a lot o' tragic occupants within.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The restaurant Taco Bell =
Then...a rectal blast to rue!

Rosie Perera with:
National Hamburger Day =
Ah, I'd grab my natural one.

Dharam Khalsa with:
National Hamburger Day =
Hail bun and/or gray meat!

Rosie Perera with:
The Woman's Christian Temperance Union =
North American hens stamp out nice wine.

Rosie Perera with:
New Zealand adds "sex work" to list of "employment skills" for immigration =
Maximizes stream of kinky trollops allowed in from England. So twisted!

Julian Lofts with:
This year’s contentious Nobel Peace Prize must not be awarded to Donald ~
Trump. Sweden can ostracize US President and alienate the old yobbo too.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
Robber pulls out a gun, points it at Mike by the banks counter, and says: "Just give me all the cash here, dude, or you’re geography!"
~
Mike, sharp as ever, replies: "But do you not mean, like, You're history?" The burglar, but a young lad, gasps: "Don't change the subject!"

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hey, I think I lost control.
I fear I've got no home or space,
and I bet there's no escape...
=
In short, this keyboard is one ancient piece of crap. I'll have to get some other one!

3rd= Rik with:
Rachel: trustworthy and endearing
Monica: bossy sister
Phoebe: surrealist oddjob
=
Ross: pedantic brother
Chandler: always humorous banter
Joey: best dressing idiot.

Adie Pena with:
The current members of the Guardians of the Galaxy team
1. Star-Lord
2. Gamora
3. Drax the Destroyer
4. Rocket Raccoon
5. Groot
=
1. Good strategic hero
2. Green and too foxy
3. Large, muscular form
4. That chatterbox marksman
5. Rare hardy tree stood erect.

Julian Lofts with:
Melania Trump has been promoting her ‘Be Best’ campaign
=
Hmm, get huge breast implants, be bare, moan in a porn epic.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
(by Friedrich Nietzsche)
=
"Shit! The discomfort instantly weakens us." -
childish hero Zuckerberg

Julian Lofts with:
Pope Francis gives the nuns some social media instruction
=
Input includes a memo on accessing his favorite porn sites.

Julian Lofts with:
The brainy MIT professor of architecture and design Neri Oxman
=
Oh, offscreen her dear man is sexy actor Brad Pitt, meriting union.

View with:
Ronaldinho reportedly marrying two women at same time
=
Trend in polygamy: two, three or more new, mild inamoratas

Tony Crafter with:
Norm, a young gent, told me he'd made love to his sister in a lift the whole way
~
down. "Oh, gee mate," I told him heatedly, "If true that is wrong on so many levels."

Jesse Frankovich with:
"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions." --William Shakespeare
=
When Russia swings an election, they will help some mob boss on tape to strike America!

Dharam Khalsa with:

Creating a fierce drink, a "Stormy Daniels", is a taxing job
=
As it is a mix of Jack Daniels, ginger beer, and tiny carrot

db with:
Jimmy Page, The Tower House, Melbury Road, Kensington, West London
~
jeers: "No new-style underground home swimming pool! Take that, boy!"

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
"I'm candid and pragmatic. I willingly chip in. I embrace feminism and regard all human life as equal. But, my, I can't abide anagram cranks."
(All this has but a single 'O' in. Anagram that - freaks!)

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
"Dad is a parasite and mum Camilla is in fact a talking mare. I'm both a rich man and a bad welfare case. Being a blatant English gimmick is equally amusing, thrilling and fun!" - Prince Harry

3rd - David Bourke with:
My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating - Meghan Markle
=
I may be a bluff militaristic chap, and I am the Queen's grandson and all, but, alack, I am still a damn ginger! Man, I am a fucking GINGER! Balls am I Charles and Diana's...I'm a Hewitt!" - Prince Harry

Rosie Perera with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
"Family? I had a rural Kenyan dad and charming Caucasian American mum. It made me better as president. I'm tall, fit, Christian." -- Barack Obama's winning quip. (Giggling: "All fables. Inshallah.")

View with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
Don't be afraid, lass! Quite a nice amalgam, magical blend, making children with such magical genes, smart and brilliant, rich in nature. Speak up! Any hybrid infant is a familiar amalgam!

Julian Lofts with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
Dada - a ghastly mean punk, a fat fibber and has small hands. Ma - a fine, chic angel, an immigrant call girl. An imbecilic quasi-Aryan inseminated her egg - autistic kid Barron William Trump

Ellie Dent with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
Life is a fairy tale. I met stars, did charm a male ... bag a prince. I'm a humanitarian. A girl has qualms. I must bend, blend in and WIN, attacking and challenging Buckingham Palace's royal 'Firm'.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
"I'm a happy, free, full-glass blend: white Irish, black African-American, and dark Latino.
I managed, and BIG time! Thus, all can manage. Quit blaming and start smiling." -
Musician Mariah Carey

Rik with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
M.M. Mania

A misfit maiden in a blunt public space
Is analysing amalgamating race.
She's basking in the quarry
Full of radical camaraderie,
And handling it with blithe landmark grace.

Adie Pena with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
I'm a rich and capable man
from a diminishing British clan.
I actually met a gal radiant;
And I had a fiancée significant.
Grandmum Queen's gems sparkle
But I'll always grab a thin Markle!

Jesse Frankovich with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
"My dad is American, and my mama is Scottish. I'm half legal immigrant. Being a rich fanatical kid-like barbarian's an unreal life which can be equal parts galling and nauseating." - D. Trump

Dharam Khalsa with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
"Fact is, I'm a uni-racial man, all prince, and a bit of a rascal.
I hitched a spin in a big car with the Queen, a fragrant lady
and kind grandmum. Ma'am, I'm still in bliss!"
- Meghan Markle's beagle, "Guy"

Christopher Sturdy with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
A unique lad grabbed a girl: "My big chance,
"I'm unafraid, and I'm making a stance;
"I cast my net further than France..."
A girl in a million has M&S pants
(a small pair), likes a dim lad with a big lance.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating" - Meghan Markle
=
Nil Racism?
Meghan

Dual parents won't disqualify
And handicap a marriage,
But half-blackness might intensify
And alarm all in Cambridge.
Must I make an alibi
In the magical carriage?

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:

The 5 Most Ridiculous Conspiracy Theories

1. The Moon Landings Were Fake: Despite NASA refuting it with lots of evidence, this crap remains popular - presumably because the landings happened on waxing crescents and the astronauts would've slid right off.

2. Paul Is Dead: Multiple Beatles fans firmly maintain that Paul McCartney has been dead for years. In actuality, only his creativity is.

3. The Earth Is Flat: One of the most absurd beliefs of modern times. Its idiotic followers should be launched into orbit without a helmet and realize their mistake hardly a second before they plow into a satellite.

4. Nine-Eleven Was An Inside Job: Some childish hogwash about the horrific September attacks somehow orchestrated by G.W. Bush. Some detractors wisely pointed out that Bush was too incompetent to even deliver water to Katrina victims.

5. Reptilians Live Among Us: Strangely, a group of pinheads swears that lizard humanoids exist - and are enslaving people, too. If they think reptiles have higher brain functions, they clearly haven't met a pet iguana.

=

The 5 Most Ridiculous Conspiracy Theories Donald Trump Actually Believes In

1. Obama Isn't An American: Trump didn't believe the former president was born in the US until a birth certificate surfaced. It should be noted Trump is not a real citizen because the real ones pay taxes.

2. Voter Fraud Cost Him The Popular Vote: Sadly, despite winning the elections, it still won't satisfy him... But OK, if he wants to revoke those votes and have a do-over, we're totally game!

3. The Father Of His Rival Was Linked To The JFK Assassination: During the GOP primaries, he hinted that Ted Cruz's father was close to Lee Harvey Oswald. No word yet on Hillary's affair with Bigfoot or Obama's role in the Illuminati.

4. Obama Bugged His Phone: Trump also recently claimed the FBI planted a spy in his campaign. All debunked after it was reasoned that if any of his campaign schemes were caught on tape, he would not still be president.

5. Global Warming Is A Chinese Hoax: Yes, he seriously tweeted this insane nonsense... completely avoiding the fact that this Trump presidency is a Russian one.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Sharing in Marriage.

An elderly couple went into a diner.

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, fries and a drink.

He took the burger and cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the fries, dividing them into two piles and placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and set the cup down between them.

As he began to take small bites of the burger, their fellow diners were looking over and whispering, obviously thinking, 'Poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal between them.'

As the old man started to eat his fries a young guy came to the table and offered to buy them an extra meal. The old man said they were fine, they were used to sharing everything

Diners closer to their table noticed the old lady'd had zero to eat, not a scrap. She sat there watching her husband while occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy a meal for them.

The old woman said 'No thank you, we're used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face with the napkin, the young man came over to the old lady, who'd yet to eat a thing, and asked 'What is it you're waiting for?'

She answered...

'The teeth.'
=

Caring in Marriage.

Matt was sitting on the edge of the bed as his wife, Tina, studied herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not that far off, he asked what she fancied.

'I'd like to be twelve again', she sighed, still looking in the mirror.

On the day of her birthday, Matt got up early, made Tina a big bowl of Sugar Puffs, then took her along to the local theme park.

He put her on every ride in the park: the Roller Coaster; the Infinity Slide; Alien Rocket Attack; the Wall of Fear; Nausea Mountain; continuing on to the nightmarish Death Dodgem. Five hours of uninhibited fun!

When they eventually reeled out of the theme park, Tina's head was spinning and her stomach felt upside down.

Matt then took her to McDonald's and ordered her an afternoon Happy Meal with large fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema with, a huge coke, an ice cream and a ton of popcorn.

Huge fun!

Finally, Tina wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed, completely wiped out. Matt leaned over her with a big grin and said, 'Well, honey, did you like being twelve again?'

Tina's eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'You bloody idiot - I meant my dress size!'

The moral of the story: Even when we guys are listening, we're gonna get it wrong!

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
On their way to get married, a fine young Catholic couple was unfortunately involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter turned up, they asked him. St. Peter replied: "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out", and he left. The couple sat and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While they were waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it did not work out; could you also get a divorce there in Heaven?
~
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, bedraggled and sweating. "Yes," he told the couple, "you can indeed definitely get married in Heaven." "Alleluia! Sweet!" said the couple, content. "But we were wondering; what if plans change somewhat? What if planned things turn out wrong, work out negatively? Could we also get a divorce, if wanted, in Heaven?" St. Peter, his divine, distinct face now positively puce, threw his clipboard onto the ground. "What is it, you seem so upset; what is it?" asked the couple. "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter yelled with a hiss, "It took three months to find a priest up here! D'you have any idea how long it might take to attempt to find a lawyer??"

Rik with:
A Brief Holmes Story

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson decide to go on a long camping trip. At night they lie down peacefully after a full dinner and drift off to sleep. Only a few hours later, it seems, Watson is woken by his friend.

"Watson, look up and tell me what you see," Holmes says.

"Why, Holmes, I see thousands of stars in the wonderful sky."

"And if you will be so kind as to address this, what does that tell you immediately?" Sherlock retorts.

The doctor does not wish to be mocked once more by his friend, so he gives it a minute's thought and shrugs heavily.

=

Like a stiff, bookish spokesman he contends:

"Well, Holmes,

Astronomically, I understand the cosmos is vast and therefore the physics is often wondrous.

Astrologically, I gather Saturn is in Pisces.

Horologically, I deduce it's near two a.m.

Theologically, I guess we are dwarfed, and thankful to be plodding on through even this hefty life before death.

But what does the sky tell you, my friend? Demystify me with your deadly knowhow!"

Holmes fiddles with his deerstalker for a moment and then responds to Watson.

"Watson, you ass, some hobo stole our tent!"

Dharam Khalsa with:
"I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power!
I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
- Thomas Edison
=
Trump is a dope, offensive and sour,
With a temperament and countenance dour.
"I want to use the coal;
All you boys work in a hole!"
He noted with a toothy glower.

Adie Pena with:
TOP 10 REASONS THE GRAMMYS ARE BAD FOR MUSIC
10. The Powers That Be Are Too Old
9. It’s Based Almost Entirely On Sales
8. The Indies Have Traditionally Been Ignored
7. Collaborations > Shared Grammys
6. So Many Artists, So Little Consideration
5. The President of NARAS Is A Belieber
4. Inspires The Wrong Kind Of Motivation
3. Elitist
2. will.i.am and Ryan Seacrest are on the Board of Directors
1. Their Top Award (Album Of The Year) Is Utterly Pointless
=
TOP 10 REASONS THE ANAGRAMMYS ARE BAD FOR ONE'S HEALTH
10. Sorrow from Better Stories
9. Restless Alienation by a Hostile Crowd
8. Stress from "Will Ideas Arise Too?"
7. Emotional Defeat > Bitterness
6. Disability to Scrap Very Hard Additional Letters
5. Rude Violations Bring Nightmares
4. No Attainable Noms End in Heartache
3. Disappointed by the Oldies Report
2. Agony from a Shallow Choice List
1. Trepidation by Mey Kraus' Last Minute Entries.

Ellie Dent with:
At the close of every day
there's a woman passing.
Lover did you hear her say
her one last word?
"We're all doing time"
Something's closing
Haven't you heard?
=
Have you heard the news today?
Our fav'rite M&S is goin'.
Varicolored pants they sell
Gal, they are no more.
Cheers, adios then
Women's ranges
Go. Why? All died.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Killing Floor
Die Trying
Tripwire
Running Blind / The Visitor
Echo Burning
Without Fail
Persuader
The Enemy
One Shot
The Hard Way
Bad Luck And Trouble
Nothing To Lose
Gone Tomorrow
61 Hours
Worth Dying For
The Affair
A Wanted Man
Never Go Back
Personal
Make Me
Night School
The Midnight Line
Past Tense

=
I'll not go through the works of Lee Child with the intention of distinguishing between plots in a long listagram.
You read about Reacher (letters don't make first name) wreaking havoc in a number of ways.
6-1 on he'd: Help fight terror; stop horrid, vain men (remarkable body count), do the horny girl, end up winning!

2nd - Tony Crafter with:

KISS THE BRIDE
By
Elton John

Well she looked a peach in the dress she made
When she was still her mama's little girl
And when she walked down the aisle everybody smiled
At her innocence and curls
And when the preacher said is there anyone here
Got a reason why they shouldn't wed
I should have stuck up my hand
I should have got up to stand
And this is what I should have said

I wanna kiss the bride yeah!
I wanna kiss the bride yeah!
Long before she met him
She was mine, mine, mine
Don't say I do
Say bye, bye, bye
And let me kiss the bride yeah!
I wanna kiss the bride yeah!

Underneath her veil I could see a tear
Trickling down her pretty face
And when she slipped on the ring I knew everything
Would never be the same again
But if the groom would have known he'd have had a fit
About his wife and the things we did
And what I planned to say
Yeah on her wedding day
Well I thought it but I kept it hid

I wanna kiss the bride yeah!
I wanna kiss the bride yeah!
Long before she met him
She was mine, mine, mine
Don't say I do
Say bye, bye, bye
And let me kiss the bride yeah!
I wanna kiss the bride yeah!
=

THE ONE I WIN?
Ernest Anguish

Well she looked a dream in her dress of white
As she walked down the chapel aisle alone;
And when she smiled at Harry, who she was there to marry,
Deep inside I heaved a groan;
And when they tied the knot, my breakin' heart died,
And my runnin' tears were burnin' hot.
Gee, why did she pick him?
Ok, he's dashing and trim,
But I've, like, tons of love to give.

She shoulda been my bride, bah!
She shoulda been my bride, bah!
Shakira could've had me
But she played hard to get,
Now another girl has slipped the net.
She shoulda been my bride, bah!
She shoulda been my bride, bah!

As I watched her on TV smilin' with glee,
I knew she was thinkin' of me,
Indeed, I'd sent her a pic, showin' I am in fine nick,
(Despite the face and bony knees)
With three hundred winning anagrams that I'd devised,
Can he do this? (I don't think so!)
Hey, kitten, waddya say?
Shall we leave right away?
Sweetie baby please agree.

Just leave the guy behind, yeah?
And then you can be mine, yeah?
My wife insists that she
Doesn't mind a bit
So let's say 'bye
And ride with it!
Then I'll whisk you away, yes?
Then I'll whisk you away, yes!

3rd - Rik with:
To the Moon
BY PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY

Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
Among the stars that have a different birth, --
And ever changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?

=

For the Poet

Is it me, or are you flashy,
Abject, knobbly jargonizing at oh! the slightest chance;
Brainwashing with words none comprehended (trashy!) --
Affected, yet savvy at first glance?
Soon phoning in another able message,
And cannot even rhyme the last lines.

Adie Pena with:

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

=

cause they fancy anything in lower case

they wear adidas (want facebook every day)

they hear your radio singers: a k.d. lang, will.i.am,

apl.de.ap, her it's a small world song anyway

(where are you, mc chris, a nerdcore rhymer)?

they wish to view their dream hampton movies,

arthur of yesterday, your i am sam, your mother!

the hysteria for friends in thirtysomething

(they return the affection) they say i'm lovin' it.

they read a frau ruth weiss (a writer),

bell hooks (a feminist author);

need to wander around with your brian d foy,

throw in a note signed peace, ted by a killer,

sweat it out with your authority danah boyd.

we won't forget to honor you here (e e cummings)

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The perilous dangers of masturbation =
A top orgasm to future blindness, I hear :(

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
A bit of the old in-and-out =
Ah, fun to do it a lot in bed!

3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Typical things a dog finds to eat =
Spilt food, a tiny egg and cat shit.
View with:
Great male =
Large 'meat'.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Mauritanian gerbil =
Animal hurt a bit in Gere.

Adie Pena with:
Tonight, my dear ~
I'm hot. Get randy!

David Bourke with:
The perilous dangers of masturbation =
No rapid results...hours of meat-beating!

Julian Lofts with:
She has vaginal discharge =
He shags a vile rancid gash.

Meyran Kraus with:
If I can't see any toilet paper roll around me ~
I only tear an article from 'People' and use it!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Yogi Berra: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." =
He wrote: "Embarking on a hike, you carry it to eat food!"

Rik with:
Euclid said ~
lucid ideas.

The Anagrammy Awards

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY