1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The sins of the father ~
often shaft the heirs.
2nd - George Missailidis with:
Teenager's bedroom =
Bet an odor emerges.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
I'm feeling under the weather =
We need further healing time.
View with:
Is never cheerful at ~
the funeral service
Valery Silivanov with:
Caesar's legions in Britain =
Aboriginals in resistance
Rosie Perera with:
Shakespeare's use of the Bible =
He speaks about sheer beliefs.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Buttercups in a field ~
drip beautiful scent.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Death by iPhone camera selfie =
It's epic! (before hyena had meal)
Dharam Khalsa with:
Death by selfie ‡
I beheld safety.
George Missailidis with:
Loving a friend =
Finding a lover.
George Missailidis with:
I'm trying a lunch item =
It can limit my hunger.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The special relationship =
Allies hope it can't perish
Rosie Perera with:
The hit-and-run accident ~
undid that nice car, then.
Brian Taylor with:
Meyran's anagrams ~
snare Anagrammys.
Adie Pena with:
Avoid a rebel's horrid ~
behavioral disorder.
George Missailidis with:
The bullets pain ~
this blue planet.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Cannabis-derived product =
Dope craved in brain ducts?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
There is a lid for every pot =
The parity of lover desire.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
"Thoughts and prayers" =
Phrase guns had to try?
Dharam Khalsa with:
Consider it done! =
Or, end is noticed.
George Missailidis with:
Marijuana plants? This ~
trash puts a man in jail!
George Missailidis with:
Stories of the Bible ~ boost their beliefs!
George Missailidis with:
Salt lamp =
Small, apt.
Ellie with:
A tale of mystery and suspense =
See story amused fans aplenty!
Tyler Severance with:
Far in religious sabbath service content =
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
George Missailidis with:
I sort magazines =
Amazing stories!
Christopher Sturdy with:
Porn ads hide on ~
Android phones.
George Missailidis with:
No events ~
seen on TV?
Jesse Frankovich with:
Presidential candidates =
Partisan acts indeed lied.
Christopher Sturdy with:
To trade insults =
Said: "Rotten slut"
Rosie Perera with:
Innocent until proven guilty, ~
until openly venting in court.
Rosie Perera with:
Justice for the oppressed =
Jesus' perfect priesthood.
turnip with:
Guillotine =
Guilt, no lie!
AA with:
The woman gives birth to a baby and ~
yes, the womb and vagina throb a bit.
Tony Crafter with:
Men in leotards =
Streamlined? No!
Ellie with:
An English summertime =
I mean the sun glimmers.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Munch's Norwegian masterpiece painting 'The Scream' =
An insane grimace when I'm reacting to Trump's speech?
2nd - Ellie with:
The Bond movie villain =
Mad, evil, then... oblivion!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat =
The majestic clothing a chap ordered on Amazon?
Adie Pena with:
Illumination's "The Secret Life of Pets Two" =
I felt this motion picture's one swell feat.
Dharam Khalsa with:
A good children's book, "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" =
By Eric Carle, thought-provoking end, hardly a loser!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak =
Big book on a short czar's depravity.
Meyran Kraus with:
Illumination's "The Secret Life of Pets" =
The little "tails" of our fine specimens.
Ellie with:
Oscar-Claude Monet's many Water Lilies paintings =
Timeless art in pictures... and meaning always cool.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy =
Bleak yarn, so not any elation
Adie Pena with:
Edouard Manet's 'Olympia' =
Display a dame to our men.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Bon Jovi - This House is Not for Sale =
His one job, his fans love, is to tour.
View with:
The crime drama, famous film "Godfather" =
Harmful, grim methods of created mafia.
Ellie with:
Live at Glastonbury =
Vulgarity's notable!
1st - Bill Dorner with:
Make America Great Again =
I make a migrant cage area.
2nd - David Bourke with:
The Tory politician Michael Andrew Gove ~
howled: "I'm partial to cocaine every night!"
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Reaction from the migrant processing centers =
"Referring to concentration camps seems right." :(
Tony Crafter with:
The 'Nazi scum' protestor Siobhan Prigent =
Trump-hating Brit oozes hate. No princess!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Epic Trump con and scam =
pomp and circumstance
Brian Taylor with:
The Raptors move on to the NBA finals =
Toronto men have a shot! Plan: be first!
View with:
Harry's 'nasty' wife Meghan Markle =
Anyway, the fresh remark's malign.
View with:
Persian gulf =
Pulsing fear
George Missailidis with:
The Golden State Warriors ~
lose. Great, others win? Drat!
Rosie Perera with:
Kevin Durant Charity Foundation online fundraiser =
Canadian folk united: "Sorry!" for inane uninvited hurt.
AA with:
Boris Johnson, the future prime minister =
Just the premonition horrifies numbers
Dharam Khalsa with:
Make America Great Again =
Create image, gain a karma.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Father’s Day in the USA =
Rah! A fete this Sunday.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Nefarious Deepfake videos =
'Fun' AI episodes evoked fear.
Julian Lofts with:
Morsi dead =
So admired.
Julian Lofts with:
A region in the Golan Heights now bears Trump’s name =
Repugnant Orange Man’s no wiser - might be a shithole!
turnip with:
Is Uber besting Lyft? It ~
is, but flying is better.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Heathrow reveals its expansion 'masterplan' =
Perhaps a site has to relax environment laws?
Christopher Sturdy with:
PM elect: Boris =
Cite problems.
Adie Pena with:
The Conservative Party =
Can Tory revive the past?
Ellie with:
The horrific images trending today =
Oh, tragedy of migrants: I... I cried then.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Boris Johnson's the enemy of the EU =
Jeremy Hunt - he is one of those nobs.
Ellie with:
The USA migrant deaths =
That's human tragedies.
FatPhil with:
Stephanie Grisham =
I shape nightmares
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Melania Trump, Slovenia-born First Lady of the USA =
Remains slavishly married to a petulant buffoon.
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sarah Elizabeth Huckabee Sanders =
A brazen hack rehashes a busted lie.
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Stephen Edwin King, an author =
It's a haunting work he penned.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Thomas Daniel Courtenay =
One may sound theatrical
Julian Lofts with:
Andres Ponce “The Destroyer” Ruiz Junior =
Ornery porcine turd tenderizes Joshua.
George Missailidis with:
Christ's on ~
thin cross.
View with:
Larry Brash, founder of Anagrammy.com =
Busy Dr, a rare man of charm, man of glory!
David Bourke with:
Siobhan Prigen =
No-brain pig, she.
Brian Taylor with:
Kawhi Leonard =
He walk'd on air.
Ellie with:
Boe =
O.B.E.
Rosie Perera with:
Edward Morgan Forster ~
wrote for grand dreams.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Dame Stephanie Shirley (born Vera Buchthal) =
Chap had horrible insult? She beat every man!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Gloria Laura Vanderbilt =
I, a natural brave old girl.
Meyran Kraus with:
Author Stephen Edwin King =
We kept The Shining around.
Adie Pena with:
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson =
Sell off a jinxed person beforehand!
David Bourke with:
Eric "Slowhand" Clapton =
Spent, drawn alcoholic.
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
The US Department of Homeland Security =
They often separated out mums' children.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The title: President of the United States of America =
Trump desecrates the definition of that elite seat.
3rd - David Bourke with:
Glastonbury Pyramid Stage =
My band's got guitar players!
Rosie Perera with:
Campaign to End Loneliness =
Listen; gal needs companion.
Ellie with:
The Chevrolet Silverado =
Oh, love the car... let's drive!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
A fit Chinese team out-trades ~
The United States of America
Brian Taylor with:
Golden State Warriors =
Adroit set o’ wranglers.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
"One America News Network" ~
means "We are no W. Cronkite"
Rosie Perera with:
The Algonquin Round Table =
Quite a LOL-nut herd? Bang on!
George Missailidis with:
The President of the United States of America =
Face it: he ruined that - tons of desperate times!
View with:
Spain's Supreme Court =
Man is suspect or pure.
Adie Pena with:
Many can't allow renewed terror to now darken the ~
One World Trade Center, Lower Manhattan, New York.
Christopher Sturdy with:
The Greater Manchester Police Force =
Help to change career of street crime.
George Missailidis with:
'IT' novel =
Violent.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Statue of Liberty =
I fret lost beauty.
Meyran Kraus with:
The United States of America =
A "free site"... and I cast them out.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Anagrammy Forum hits a historic number of two-hundred-thousand posts. That is incredible! =
It's such a fitting moment for us to honour Larry Brash. And, amid this, we are much indebted to HSP.
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
=
Guy had iffy line to woo a lady but I am dubious he said it aloud.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
The World’s Three Largest Lakes
1. Caspian Sea
2. Superior
3. Victoria
=
1. Top seller there is caviar
2. Shipwreck stories. Lots!
3. Uganda area.
Julian Lofts with:
A Burmese python has been discovered in the Wicklow Mountains =
Unloved Irish-based snake went out in snow, became hypothermic.
View with:
Federer versus Nadal in Roland Garros tournament, Paris =
Our grand stars' drama, pure adrenaline for tennis lovers
Rosie Perera with:
The War on Normal People: The Truth About America's Disappearing Jobs and Why Universal Basic Income Is Our Future =
A noble author Andrew Yang has presidential aspirations to imbue our poor with "climb-up" menu: just crave free cash.
David Bourke with:
The Conservative party politician Andrea Jacqueline Leadsom =
Her appearance is vacant. "I'm quite clearly stoned...I'd love a joint!"
Adie Pena with:
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures' "X-Men: Dark Phoenix" =
And now in MMXIX, industry people there said it sucks, too!
Dharam Khalsa with:
It is hardly ever going to be easy to explain the pun to the kleptomaniac=
Hey, a notion appears good, but even I expect him to take things literally!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Royal Society of London for Improving Natural Knowledge =
An old group invite only few to go on meet for a scholarly drink
David Bourke with:
President of the United States of America Donald Trump =
'Nam attendance fail. (This "foot spur" protruded, it seemed!)
Julian Lofts with:
I'll say it with great respect: Number one, she's not my type. Number two, it never happened. It never happened, OK? =
Ha! Vile Don Trump rapes puny, petite, pretty woman in beige in New York department store. He belches, he vents.
Ellie with:
If you ever decide to break up with someone, it's best you choose McDonalds, okay? There are no plates or glasses to be broken
~
on your scalp; sharp knives, forks are not welcome, area's taboo, see? So better yet, you could get to hide behind some obese kid.
David Bourke with:
Stephanie Grisham, the White House Director of Communications =
The mouthpiece of the enormous orange narcissist. (Which I admit!)
Dharam Khalsa with:
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I think I'm getting senile. A few times, lately, I've forgotten to zip up."
~
"Now, that's not senility, pal." The doctor defined true senility as more like an aged male victim forgetting to zip down.
Julian Lofts with:
President Trump has praised the Saudi Arabian potentate Prince Mohammed bin Salman for doing 'spectacular job' =
Absurd paradigm. I suppose he ordered that inept murder of Jamal in a panic, then spent on arms. Abominable tactics!
Julian Lofts with:
Luis Alvarez, the police campaigner for continued World Trade Center compensation from the US government, has died
=
Mourn zealot with proven lung/liver cancer from carcinogenic dust. He ranted at, he opposed Senate. ‘Fidelis Ad Mortem’
1st - Tony Crafter with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
KNOWLEDGE
Give me a sign!
Oh, where can I find it?
Oh, where will I
Get answers?
Look up the facts? Where?
Easy...!
2nd - David Bourke with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
Why worship like there's life after death? How naive!
Get in and use search engines like www.google.com!
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
I claim specialised knowledge few else have! When going "Wherefore art thou?", it's asking *why*, not *where*.
Christopher Sturdy with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
Timeless clue I give again:
Ask Where What Who, Ask How Why When
I reneged, electing fool for president!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare
=
Speaking to why once well known wordsmith sees hell await a renegade chief White House grief giver
Meyran Kraus with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
Gee, how high was he?! FAKE NEWS! A lie is the key if I need to win over a crowd! Get real, English clowns!! -- Trump
turnip with:
Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
Orville Wright showed his engines, unlike magic, work. See how easily we can get off the earth, and weep!
Rosie Perera with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare=
There's data, which gives information. If we all chew on this, knowledge rages. Keep on.... We're hugely wise!
Ellie with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
While peevish, frenetic youth rages, when he imagines elders lack wit, he's wrong - a fool - we aged know it!
Dhararm with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
We sense we're aged, weak in the flesh, a net laughingstock; however, we're politicians who'd glorify Him.
Dharam Khalsa with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.=
Leo, a guy I once knew,
Has a work interview;
When he's polite,
Life seems right
And, with God's grace, he flew!
View with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare=
Hah, English worldwide known poet wrote few messages of intelligence - achieve his right way! Eureka!
Rosie Perera with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare
=
Writing plays is the thing we like to do, Marlowe and I. Few check "whose usage?" whenever he forges a line.
Dharam Khalsa with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare
=
What he wrote is shocking:
We're defeated; we're ailing,
As the fellow's mocking
You, when he's prevailing!
Julian Lofts with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare
=
We like the magical essence of the words when we see King Henry VI Part Two. Uh, a few hail God’s religion.
Dharam Khalsa with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare=
Whee, we won if faith weighs more than gold, silver, or wicked Shakespearean intellect weighs! - One guy
Ellie with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
Oh, alas alack, methought! If seeing these few weighted words spoken in Henry VI, will we agree... or wince?
Adie Pena with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.=
Like Eve whispering to Adam, the trees of knowledge can change his history. We who gain, will we refuse?
Jesse Frankovich with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare =
'Chocolate is the gift of God; pleasure's when we smirk where I have had sweet engineering.' - Willy Wonka
Gary Kirschenheuter with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare. =
Hence aggressively kowtowing to pilfered knowhow causes Him eerie withdrawal feelings-Heathen
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Nutty top songs to give any cynical grandpa joy (very loud, anyway!)
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Toilet by the Commodores
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip? the BeeGees
These Boots Gave Me Ankle Swellin' by Nancy Sinatra
When I'm Ninety-Four by the Beatles
Wakin' In a Hospital by Beastie Boys
Twilight Urgency (Hurry!) the Platters
Hall of Pain by Will.I.Am~
I Get By with a Little Help from Depends by the Beatles
Talkin' Bout My Medication by the Who
You Can't Always Pee When You Want from the Rolling Stones
I Heard It through the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye
You're So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon
I Can't See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash Gaye
It was Constipation, I know by Nat King Cole
Let Me Pee by the Beatles
2nd - Ellie with:
An eighty-year-old Scotsman went to a doctor for a check-up.
The doctor was amazed at what good shape the old fellow was in and asked: 'How do
you stay in such great condition?'
'I'm Scottish and I'm a golfer. I get up well before daylight and go out golfing;
also I have a wee glass of whisky... and that's it.'
'I'm sure that helps,' said the doctor, 'but there has to be more to it. How old
was your Dad when he died?'
'Who said he's dead?'
'You mean you're eighty and your Dad's still living?'
'He is one hundred years old. In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we
went to the topless beach for a walk, had another wee dram and that's why he is still
alive. He is a proud Scot and he is a golfer, too.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'that is really great,
~
but I'm sure that there's more to it than that. So what about your Dad's Dad? How old
was he when he died?' the doctor asked.
'Who said my Grandad is dead?'
'Wait! You mean you're eighty years old, happy, and your grandfather's still alive, is
OK, too? Oh, fantastic. It's incredible! How old is he?'
'He is one hundred and eighteen years old,' said the old Scot.
The doctor was shocked at this point. 'Oh, honestly?? And I suppose he went golfing
himself with you all this morning as well?'
'Well, no. Grandad couldnae this time, because he's marrying a Czechoslovak gal who is
also a golf fanatic, today.'
'Get...getting married?!' scoffed the doctor, 'What?? Oh, please! Why ever would a fellow
of that late age want to get married?'
'Who said he wanted to?'
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time, a young girl asked her guy to marry her.
He said "No" and the young girl lived happily ever after, went shopping, drank martinis, went clubbing, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed thin and farted just whenever she wanted to.
THE END
=
GAS LEAKS:
An old married couple, Patty and Kenneth, were attending a service in church. Halfway through evening prayers, Patty leant over to her husband and whispered solemnly, "Oh my God, Kenneth, I've just done two silent farts, what should I do?"
He said, "Get a new battery for your hearing-aid."
AA with:
Alyssa Naeher
Kelley O'Hara
Abby Dahlkemper
Julie Ertz
Crystal Dunn
Rose Lavelle
Sam Mewis
Lindsey Horan
Tobin Heath
Alex Morgan
Megan Rapinoe
=
Lax Thais, haphazard as blue jelly, given a real lesson.
Yankees strike thirteen - a new record!
Phenomenally able.
Memorably orderly.
Magnanimous? Ha!
Adie Pena with:
Ten Worst Wedding Gifts for Newlyweds
1. Pets
2. Anything Matching
3. Anything Monogrammed
4. Anything Traditional
5. Exercise Equipment
6. Self-Help Books
7. Home Decor
8. Anything Political
9. Decorations to Use at the Wedding
10. Baby Gifts
=
1. Big-eyed goldfish
2. Twenty 'His and Hers' pillows
3. Cotton towel set
4. Big genealogy quilt
5. The new synthetic yoga mat
6. 'Engineering for Dummies'
7. Taxidermy swans
8. Oh, that 'MAGA' cap!?
9. Magnificent potted rhododendron
10. Pink infant's crib.
AA with:
David Seaman
Gary Neville
Stuart Pearce
Paul Ince
Tony Adams
Gareth Southgate
Paul Gascoigne
Alan Shearer
Teddy Sheringham
Darren Anderton
Steve McManaman
=
Home nation England run riot against a rudderless Dutch.
A Tottenham man spectacular - a sledgehammer!
Days ahead,
a penalty grievance again vs. Germany.
As per ever.
Julian Lofts with:
The legendary Dire Straits were formed in London town
Their early members/artists included:
Mark Knopfler - lead guitar, vocals
His younger brother David Knopfler - rhythm guitar, keyboards
John E. Illsley - bass
Pick Withers - drums and percussion
=
Behold deified UK rock band:
Hal Lindes played and Guy Fletcher helped
Now trippy singles endure:
Romeo and Juliet R
On Every Street R
Solid Rock R
Sultans of Swing R
Skateaway R
Hot rhythmic albums:
Dire Straits R
Brothers in Arms R
Making Movies R
Dharam Khalsa with:
Ten of the Most Famous Paintings of All Time:
10 The Birth of Venus
9 Portrait of Madame Recamier
8 Massacre of the Innocents
7 Night Watch
6 Girl with a Pearl Earring
5 Guernica
4 The Creation of Adam
3 The Last Supper
2 The Arnolfini Marriage
1 Mona Lisa
=
10 Nude at faroff shore
9 Socialite in her sofa
8 Gospel of Matthew era
7 Rembrandt armament
6 Vermeer triumph
5 Giant Picasso panorama
4 Michelangelo ceiling
3 Final night, start of Eucharist
2 Portrait of the hearts' union
1 That enigmatic wan smile
Christopher Sturdy with:
If you just looked at all the scandal, the dreadful lies and the broken promises, the division in our society and the sheer instability these days, I can't see how a change in who inherits the job of prime minister from among the original characters involved will fix anything.
=
In reality, I blame a posh, English, Conservative elite with selfish political ideals. David Cameron and Theresa May, who in highest office fashioned austerity and Brexit, left the country in a right old mess.
I don't think Boris Johnson or Jeremy Hunt can work alongside the EU.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
MASTERPIECE
Recorded by Madonna
If you were the Mona Lisa
You'd be hanging in the Louvre
Everyone would come to see you
You'd be impossible to move
It seems to me that's what you are
A rare and priceless work of art
Stay behind your velvet rope
But I will not renounce all hope
And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of the masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with the masterpiece
'Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible
From the moment I first saw you
All the darkness turned to light
An impressionistic painting
Tiny particles of light
It seem to me is what you're like
The "look but please don't touch me" type
And honestly it can't be fun
To always be the chosen one
And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of the masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece
'Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible
Nothing's indestructible
Nothing's indestructible
Nothing's indestructible
And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of the masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece
And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of the masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece
'Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible
'Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible
=
BRUNETTE IN A BIKINI
By
Vincent
I saw her by the main pool
At our local swimming baths,
In the tiniest bikini,
And though we'd never crossed paths,
I thought: 'She is the one for me!'
Yet I am nearly seventy,
A frightful thing, but I must say,
I couldn't tear my eyes away.
She intently came towards me,
Looking hot in her two-piece
Slinkily, hypnotically,
Like a sultry feline beast,
Then, in a tone that turned me red,
She truculently said:
'Did you get an eyeful, chubby guy?'
'Uh? I'm innocent!' I cried.
I went on: 'The female body,
Is of interest to me,
'Cos I'm one iconic artist,
And one big celebrity.
My name is Vincent Ruben Bland,
I'm huge in the Netherlands.'
'Hi, Vince,' she tittered, 'I'm Denise,
I love an oily masterpiece!'
She uttered, 'Hey, can I come round
Tomorrow night, maybe?
To see your latest masterpiece?'
I stuttered: 'Er... suits me,'
Though I can't paint for toffees,
I said, 'I'll perc us some coffees,
Or put some bubbly on ice?'
'Perfect,' she said, 'that sounds nice.'
*
I got a length of plaster board,
Bought lots of tins of paint,
Then chucked the lot all over it,
And with no self-restraint,
I put that board down on the floor,
Then I rolled on it in the raw.
That night when she came to call,
I had it hung up on the wall.
She cried out: 'That's a masterpiece!
It's reminiscent of the sea,
With distant, moonlit flying gulls,
Such utter intuition, such ability!'
Gulls? I looked at it and there
I saw three silver pubic hairs!
I said: 'I try to put a part
Of me in every work of art.'
2nd - George Missailidis with:
Sonnet No. Eighty by William Shakespeare
O, how I faint when I of you do write,
Knowing a better spirit doth use your name,
And in the praise thereof spends all his might,
To make me tongue-tied, speaking of your fame!
But since your worth (wide as the Ocean is)
The humble as the proudest sail doth bear,
My saucy bark (inferior far to his)
On your broad main doth wilfully appear.
Your shallowest help will hold me up afloat,
Whilst he upon your soundless deep doth ride;
Or (being wreck'd) I am a worthless boat,
He of tall building and of goodly pride:
Then if he thrive and I be cast away,
The worst was this; my love was my decay.
=
Her I Avoid As I Finish My Pities' Paranoia
For you I long'd, while for your beau, why, naught!
Aglow your beauty was, yet not his heart;
Regardless if of him the Earth you thought,
Enough from fact his words were to depart.
When passion packs a human by a soul,
Ebullience by a soul due fills a body;
Lo, yet, how love transcends this spoken whole,
Lest he should long as I do! (or be godly).
My heart therefrom, I weep, did shine but splinter,
Yet learn'd am I to make mine bittersweet:
Led if to blanket (as fear doth) in winter,
And wow'd (as if 'neath summer's happy treat).
Do I appal or hope? Well, I can't dim
Your wish to be so kind to wicked him.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
ALL IN JUNE
by William Henry Davies
A week ago I had a fire
To warm my feet, my hands and face;
Cold winds, that never make a friend,
Crept in and out of every place.
Today the fields are rich in grass,
And buttercups in thousands grow;
I'll show the world where I have been--
With gold-dust seen on either shoe.
Till to my garden back I come,
Where bumble-bees for hours and hours
Sit on their soft, fat, velvet bums,
To wriggle out of hollow flowers.
=
TRULY FREE?
I'm a bullfight survivor of Spain,
Numb at some wild obscene fiesta.
Drubbed with wretched religion;
Endlessly having a twelfth siesta!
Proffered through obese America's
Entertainment then from Hollywood.
Now chewing the burgers and fries of
Disney-Marvel's callow childhood!
Eventually doomed to serve Japan,
Now cowed there with the short stay.
China and Korea today makes us
Eager for well-built Kia and Huawei!
Ellie with:
Robert Lee Frost's DUST OF SNOW
The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree
Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.
=
Oh, heavy weather chafed;
The dark of doom, an
Omen, cast shadows
Discomforting me.
But then, see flora...
Turn sad frown around!
As works of God prove yet
to me, a day's wholesome.
George Missailidis with:
Sonnet No. Twenty-Seven
by William Shakespeare
Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
But then begins a journey in my head,
To work my mind, when body's work's expired:
For then my thoughts (from far where I abide),
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see;
Save that my soul's imaginary sight,
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel (hung in ghastly night),
Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.
Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind.
For thee, and for myself, no quiet find.
=
Why I Behold We Might Simply Never Shy Away
In ev'ry flower I gaze upon thy face,
The canvas to my awe and admiration,
Yet I know mine's a shredded shy disgrace
(Wherein it should be blinded from creation).
My heart propels warm beams of joy to thee,
That in my mind of thee to think makes gold;
But features grotesque and reptilian be
Upon myself (like that on dragons old).
Why, to hobgoblins do my ears belong:
They strike and spike the sky with awful line!
Most birds I seek next end their downwind songs,
When they review these piggish marks of mine;
Though, ugliness aside, I humbly be
This jolly man by warmly tending thee.
George Missailidis with:
The aim of all is but to nurse the life
With honour, wealth, and ease, in waning age;
And in this aim there is such thwarting strife,
That one for all, or all for one we gage;
As life for honour in fell battle's rage;
Honour for wealth; and oft that wealth doth cost
The death of all, all together lost.
- Shakespeare
=
Oh, I ask to rearrange a phrase!
The meaning of life can be found,
When we turn the letters around;
If one shuffles well,
Together, all tell
A sentence that, hah, should astound!
To do that goes to start a thrill
With a brain or a software to fill.
"Hello" to a fail,
Is worth a high wail -
So gather the fine game of nil!
turnip with:
Ended the act of the Pesach night,
Each law and custom kept aright:
As we’ve lived to do it without a stain
God grant we do it time and again.
Pure One, Dweller in height august,
Raise up the folk of countless dust!
Soon lead the stem-shoots of thy ward,
Redeemed and singing, Zionward.
=
The matzah, now we've had our fill.
Don't go to sleep, there's singing still!
The song of counting, praise of God,
Cute verse of goats and cats (how odd!)
Stay awake, don't mind the time;
Though we're wearied, this ain't no crime.
Call thus the seder night we'd put
At an end, said dead, adieu, kaput!
Ellie with:
The Guitar:
Federico Garcia Lorca
The weeping of the guitar
begins.
The goblets of dawn
are smashed.
The weeping of the guitar
begins.
Useless
to silence it.
Impossible
to silence it.
It weeps monotonously
as water weeps
as the wind weeps
over snowfields.~
Impossible
to silence it.
It weeps for distant
hot sweeping sand
cool white geese
weeps for camellias
weeps a dart without
target
evening without
morning.
See the eagles
lifeless
effigies
upon branches.
Oh, guitar!
A woebegone
heart dies
cut by swords.
Tony Crafter with:
CARRIE
The Eighties hit by Cliff Richard
Sorry to disturb you
But I was in the neighbourhood
About a friend I've her picture
Could you take a look?
Oh, I appreciate you're busy
And time is not your own
Yeah, maybe it would be better
If I telephoned
(chorus)
Carrie doesn't live here anymore
Carrie used to room on the second floor
Sorry that she left no forwarding address
That was known to me
Carrie doesn't live here anymore
You could always ask at the corner store
Carrie had a date with her own kind of fate
It's plain to see
Another missing person
One of many we assume
The young wear their freedom
Like cheap perfume
(It's useless information)
Returning my call
(To help the situation)
They've nothing at all
You're just another message
On a payphone wall
Carrie doesn't live here anymore
Carrie used to room on the second floor
Sorry that she left no forwarding address
That was known to me
Carrie doesn't live here anymore
You could always ask at the corner store
Carrie had a date with her own kind of fate
It's plain to see
=
IS CARRIE IN?
(Me)
Sorry to trouble you,
But I once lived in Camberwell,
It used to be a dump, yet now
It's funky as well.
Anyway, a friend resides here,
I said I'd call on her,
Carrie is her name... what did you
Say: "haven't you heard?"
(Man)
Carrie doesn't live here anymore,
Okay, Carrie owned a flat on the first floor,
But one spooky night saw a riotous fight,
You shoulda heard the screams.
Carrie doesn't live here anymore,
We got no reply when we knocked on her door,
Yet, her current date, some blond reprobate,
Was there, too, with her.
A neighbour heard the ruckus,
And promptly told the police,
Then notified the Guardian
To give them a piece,
Such juicy information,
Soon makes the front page,
So now the situation's
At a rocky stage,
Boy, it really has aroused
Serious outrage.
Poor Carrie isn't here, not anymore,
Our Carrie couldn't wait to fly out the door,
She confessed the stress put her head in a mess,
Then sold her flat to me.
Carrie doesn't live here anymore,
Now I own the flat on the first floor,
Carrie left a sofa, it was okay,
Apart from one wine stain...
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
She's a hot stripper =
She has proper tits!
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Wears a mankini =
As in 'I'm a wanker'.
3rd - AA with:
Good Morning Britain co-host Piers Morgan =
A moronic, dog-rogering, misanthropist nob
View with:
Soft pornography
=
Stopgap for horny
Julian Lofts with:
Mrs Sara Netanyahu is declared guilty =
Ugh! Dame's a real nasty dry Israeli cunt.
Christopher Sturdy with:
What exactly did the butler see? =
Blue sex act with tethered Lady!
Adie Pena with:
United States Customs and Border Protection =
Most stoned traders stored cocaine up in butt.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The underwear stain =
Area underwent shit.