Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000


1st - Jaybur with:
Circumstantial evidence =
Can ruin detective's claim.

2nd - John Fidler with:
Unrecognisable =
Bearing no clues.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The morning-after pill =
"Pregnant? Hell! I'm for it!"

Larry Brash with:
What is Evidence-based Medicine? =
Academic whine. It's been devised.

Larry Brash with:
Medical Board =
Admirable Doc.

Don P. Fortier with:
Nude aborigines =
Indigenous, bare.

Jon Gearhart with:
Computer animation =
Capture main motion.

Richard Grantham with:
A Little Black Dress =
Slick belle? Sad tart!

Richard Grantham with:
I said "Three hundred." =
He said "Drei hundert."

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
A glass of red wine =
Alongside wafers.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
What is Evidence-based Medicine? =
A new, indicative bedside scheme?

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Male orang-utans =
Man's true analog.

Kevin Hale with:
Anabolic Steroids =
Lose brains to acid.

Jaybur with:
Severe weather warning =
We were near harvesting!

Jaybur with:
Prosecution =
Court is open.

Jaybur with:
Long Spam Nomination =
O man! non-stop mailing.

Meyran Kraus with:
A New Day =
Aye, dawn!

Meyran Kraus with:
Arm Wrestling =
Wrist mangler.

Meyran Kraus with:
Pediatrician =
In diaper? I act.

Meyran Kraus with:
New trainee =
A wee intern.

ID Letterman with:
Human destiny =
Humanity ends.

ID Letterman with:
Circumstantial evidence =
Men act via indirect clues.

ID Letterman with:
Divine inspiration =
Inner vision. It paid.

Heather Mappus with:
Pre-election advertisement =
Lies penetrate. I'm converted!

Tom Myers with:
Violence in the Media =
Motive: nice headline!

Tom Myers with:
Fertility =
Life - try it!

Graham Perkins with:
If only I were a single man again! =
Oi! A male swine yearning a fling!

Rick Rothstein with:
General Category =
No Greater Legacy.

Rick Rothstein with:
Unrecognizable =
Big, unclear zone.

Rick Rothstein with:
It's raining outside =
Ain't eroding us, is it?

Rick Rothstein with:
God of our fathers =
Offers tough road.

Rick Rothstein with:
Severe weather warning =
Whenever a winter rages.

Rick Rothstein with:
Mighty oaks from little acorns grow =
Large stick looms from a tiny growth.

Rick Rothstein with:
Think before you act =
Take no fire by touch!

Mick Tully with:
Nixon's 'Checkers' speech =
Checks on rich expenses?


1st - Tom Myers with:
Letterman tonight =
Late night torment.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Women's four hundred metres final =
Ms Freeman led for thunderous win.

3rd - David Bourke with:
Dolly Rebecca Parton =
Bra coped? Clearly not!

John Fidler with:
Scary Movie =
Yo! Scream IV.

Don P. Fortier with:
Fox Mulder and Dana Scully of the FBI =
Banal X-Files duo deftly found charm.

Don P. Fortier with:
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno =
How is the jaw??? (Hint: too lengthy.)

Husband and Wife with:
I Want to Hold Your Hand =
Who'd run into a hot lady?

Jaybur with:
Ishtar =
I trash.

Jaybur with:
Moody Blues =
Embody soul.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Poseidon Adventure =
Potent? Oh, dive under sea.

ID Letterman with:
The games are under way =
Am huge yawner, dearest.

Graham Perkins with:
Lady Windermere's Fan =
Drew any male friends?

Rick Rothstein with:
Moody Blues =
Bloody Muse.


1st - Jon Gearhart with:
The United States Olympian Michael Johnson repeats as the 400-meter dash champion =
Athlete steals 400 second time? Ahh... poetry in motion. Perhaps he's just a damn machine!

eq.2nd - Tom Myers with:
Election debate =
To enable deceit.

eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
Al and Tipper Gore... ~
preparing to lead!

David Bourke with:
The Labour Government =
Number Ten to grovel? Ha!

David Bourke with:
"That'll be the Daewoo" =
O, owe all that debt, eh?

Eri with:
The Regulation of Investigatory Powers Bill =
Pry at web-surfing? - O, O, lie! - Investigator, to hell!

Don P. Fortier with:
It's history as Lenny Krayzelburg earns a score "down under"! =
Gaze on our water star: he briskly annuls records in Sydney.

Richard Grantham with:
"The Gore prescription plan: bureaucrats decide." =
Republicans perpetrate huge coded "Rats". Ironic!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The Basque Country, today =
Butchery on steady quota.

Jaybur with:
Petrol shortage =
Oh! large protest.

Jaybur with:
London Fashion Week =
Ha! one finds new look!

Jaybur with:
"That'll be the Daewoo" =
"Ha! to do wheel battle!"

Jaybur with:
Ian Thorpe's size seventeen feet =
See an event to see the prize 'fins'!

Meyran Kraus with:
Drama: "The West Wing" =
Win! Get them awards!

Meyran Kraus with:
Opening Ceremony in Australia =
Rare Olympics! A genuine nation!

Tom Myers with:
Firestone public relations firm resigns =
Being fine criminals, store's profits rule!

Tom Myers with:
OPEC is to increase production in oil =
O so nice! "Crude" politics in operation.

Tom Myers with:
And another Firestone death was reported =
Owner? Then dread the separation of treads.

Tom Myers with:
The people of Selma, Alabama elect first black mayor =
Peaceably reform local mistake of the past. All beam!

Tom Myers with:
Violence in Jerusalem =
Malevolence, injuries.

Mick Tully with:
The late Miss Paula Yates =
Taut Ma, she ate pills. Easy!

Mick Tully with:
'You can be sure of Shell' =
Fuel buyers chose loan.


1st - David Bourke with:
The menstrual cycle =
"My cunt creates hell!"

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Hymens =

3rd - Heather Mappus with:
Incontinent farts all night ~
in transcontinental flight.

Eri with:
Latter-day Saints =
Dirty anal tastes.

Jon Gearhart with:
"I enjoyed every stroke of it" =
"I jerk fist over one-eyed toy!"

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
What is fist fuckin'? =
Cuff kit within ass.

Husband and Wife with:
Smack the Pony =
Poke my snatch!

Husband and Wife with:
Buy-out Ratio Slows =
Blow it out your ass.

Heather Mappus with:
Goddess of Fertility =
Fifty-odd orgies? Let's!

Tom Myers with:
16 years is In Holland the minimum age for a nude model
Indulge, lay her good! Unload your semen slime in a small minor female's tight genital!

Tom Myers with:
Please flush the toilet =
Pee/shit-hole state: full!

Mick Tully with:
Her Majesty's Prisons =
Thin arses' sperm joys.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Jack be Nimble
Jack be Quick
To See the Hottest Porn
You Have to Click


Jerk be Shitty
Jerk be Sick
Love-Act? Cum-Bath?
No! Shove a Stick!

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Swig our lunch - sperm!

3rd - Larry Brash with:
EASY money, receive e-mail, and get paid, about 40$ for month:
The definition of Spam? Greasy canned meat? No more! A money remover!
Do I.O.U. $131,272,400?

David Bourke with:
Get ready to party!
Naked beach babes coming your way!
Young and innocent! TONS of FREE pics!
You sorry, pathetic cunt, wanking-off each day!
Do check at once... glop on!

Dan Fortier with:
EASY money, receive e-mail, and get paid, about 40$ for month: =
Oh, I bet $40 I'd get many an anal service from you! Eat me, dope!

Dan Fortier with:
Have I told you I get paid to search the web? =
He voiced lie about this: WE'D pay that ogre!

Jaybur with:
PayPal = Big Money! Brand New! Hurry! =
Rubbery ham annoyingly wrapped.

Ulf Lunde with:
ALMOST ILLEGAL Young Teen Girls! =
Sly glee: Ogle malnutrition gals!

Martin Rand with:
Huge fraud, or sickly lie? Go, acne-ridden twit! Shoo!

Rick Rothstein with:
Business Opportunities =
I rub penis on spouse's tit.

Rick Rothstein with:
Woman sliced in half? =
No! He will find a scam.


1st - Larry Brash with:
Hello everybody,

I offer you to start earning money today only by reading your email. Maybe it looks imposibile but it is not, 'cause you know how much money is spent by large companies to promote something and emails you'll recive are just sent to promote large companies and their products. Each message will contain one usefull link which should be clicked to add money to your account. The check is delivered to your adress every month.

to sign up..


I suspected when I read this something was unreal or wrong with it, but no, I ignored my gut feelings and tried it out. Oh, boy, my big silly mistake!

I checked out the cool websites like it says. They must have had some powerful software to read my hard drive and soon stole our credit card numbers. No crap!

You have no conception of my silly, silly, behaviour! Audited? O, I am completely broke! I must accept my money's gone. No cool jackpot! O, no more! No 1,259,720 pence! No - none!


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
REPORT #2 will explain you the best methods for transmitting large amounts of emails, and will tell you where to locate free software designed for sending bulk email, and free software designed to harvest email addresses off the internet, giving you an inexhaustible supply of potential buyers. Moreover, this report will indicate you where to obtain email lists. The greater your number of programs sold, the greater the amount of money for yourself and those who are already involved in the program. If you make money, I make money, therein every possible advantage is given to you in the hope you succeed.


So... let me stress my deep resentment to a born-pervert, sex-offender, most revolting example of no self control, dull spammer's rotten stuff:

How do I hate you? Let me count the ways:
I hate you more than words can ever say
I hate you every single rising day
I hate your frigging swollen pig-like grin
I hate your gut and all it holds within
I hate your ever-smelling vermin feet
I hate all of the kinds of food you eat
I hate you at far mountains, ever-steep
I hate you in old oceans, ever-deep
I hate your bleeding feeble web of lies...
I dream and hope to see you rot and die.

(M. Kraus, borrowing a small part from E. Barrett Browning's poem.)


3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
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* Turn back your body's Biological Time Clock 10-20 years in 6 months of usage!!!
For MORE FREE INFORMATION or TO ORDER PRODUCT, please access the link below, or contact us by email or voicemail anytime of day. Find out how GH Implementation can "Reverse the Aging Process" for you!



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My new incoming (bogus) investigations have been confirming the value of our GOAT CUM (GC) dietary supplement. Formerly, only third-world shepherds enjoyed the "full-blown" benefits of this miraculous substance.

GC will:

* Soothe sore throats (swallow at least 2-4 ounces)
* Clear sinus congestion (when inhaled)
* Keep vision 20-20 (gentle as water on your eyes)
* Be a rapid laxative (hold it!)
* Shrink your prostate (manual application recommended)
* Bleach skin spots (test inconspicuously for yellowing)
* Add mirror sheen to your hair (lengthen blonde)
* Attract female goats (No fooling: Free cheese!)

Don't depend on grocers, preservatives, or expensive, cumbersome refrigeration: obtain your GC directly from your OWN goats! Our trim, improved Irish breed produces a minimum of 1095 ounces yearly @ 3 per day.

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David Bourke with:
Herbal Viagra! Improve your sex life! Make love like a teen!
New Herbal Viagra alternative, "Extreme Sexsation." Learn the secrets of this amazing new pill and how it works.

To be removed from our mailing list, please click here
mail to:


Joke salami? Or can't ever get it up? One new Herbal Viagra pill, and beware...for next, you'll be beating ladies back with a stick...a vast, massive corker of a chopper the size of a telegraph pole! Women will love sex...moan like a siren: "Mmm! Nice! Mmm! More, more, more!"


Larry Brash with:


Dan Fortier with:
China five thousand year culture, be born I ching, the book of change, it be turn record china physics, mathematics, relativity and more universe algebraical basic knowledge, and provide in line with standard divination method.

let your intuition talking, chinese i-ching divination anything.

About your future:
I provided service: divination Fortune/Stock Exchange/Contract Signing/Partnership/Official/Sport Race/Lawsuit/Weather/Calamity and more.....


I'll talk in English once:

Using innate spiritual mind power, I can predict everything:
I can find out how big a penis you have /in short order/...
I can evaluate how good attractive wife did in bed - /easy/...
I can report her buttock pair activity's /behind schedule/.

And I'm foreseeing...
-Total interest I have accrued: in truth, not much of yours, right?
-Learning that I'm accruing money for advice, but noting I can't honor Visa card, folks invariably exit.

Back to Mandarin Chinese...


Jaybur with:

I'm a former CHEERLEADER. And in my personal opinion this site OFFENDS me in every way possible. It's depicts cheerleaders as nude short skirt wearing sluts. this was not true of myself.




I'm really a CHASTE nun called Sister Purity; very tiny, no make-up; I hide flesh.

Oh, sinners! confess, weep, REFORM before it's too late! Desist from sin! Dismiss horrid, warped messages!




1st - Richard Grantham with:
Preamble to the United States Constitution


2nd - Mike Keith with:
Hole, twat, slit, bush,
Lunch, spread, Inside Thing,
Wet Mop, Vertical Smile, "Hello Kitty",
Love-tunnel, Rosebud, Inner self,
Fur piece, Honey pot, Pencil sharpener,
Canyon, crater, canal, The Deep,


Pecker, schlong, wand, nob,
Pisser, steel shaft, lollipop,
Handyman, Eunuch's itch, little trout,
The Vein Boy, Prince Hairy,
Cunt-slayer, Neutron Warhead,
Love-muscle, little friend, pee-pees,


3rd - Richard Brodie with:
The core, mantle, and crust, oceans of water, and the atmosphere of oxygen and nitrogen on this little planet.
Our plate tectonics (where a continent drifts) has transformed the land to an extent - a phenomenal geology!


David Bourke with:
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
OK then God, any chance that fiend Gates' Microsoft can get to cure Windows hanging each time that I get the P.C. on-internet, eh? Cheers then, God!


Larry Brash with:
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
We bet the Bard hinted that Caesar's famed life ends very soon out in Act Three. A motive?


Richard Brodie with:
Here's a motto for all breast-feeding mothers -
there's a little sucker born every minute - thanks for the mammaries!
Mom can't bear figure loss, or them teeth! Been there, seen that.
Sorry kids, means formula - the tit saver - for real milk.


Jon Gearhart with:
The Indiana Jones Trilogy:
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
"I need and enjoy Harrison Ford's little cinema aside; a tale of sin, hedonism, and an 'adjusted' look into the past."
-- Jon Gearhart


Jon Gearhart with:
"We are not wholly an island, except geographically."
- (John Major)
"Oh my...lax jargon... What a 'positionally challenged' creep."
- (O.J. Wren)


Richard Grantham with:
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed be the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Mighty Lord of heinous foulness, may the horror of damnation's shaded depths go forth to our world; may thy cruel, unjust wrath be suffered by all men. We bow in homage before thee, Master.


Jaybur with:
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of." =
Ogden Nash wrote: So, to hairy Fido; plagued, portal-wise.


Jaybur with:
"Arcane Heisenberg" <nope@wont.tell> wrote:
wich software to use?
O, a non-speller rogue wants freebies!


Jaybur with:
Nights in white satin, never reaching the end,
Letters I've written, never meaning to send.
Beauty I'd always missed with these eyes before.
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.
Yes! Messy sheets that were hell in that washing machine!
Days wasting time here writing inane trivia.
Never at the Job Centre. Dust, dirt by the sofa:
(Even seen dentures)! You nitwit!


Graham Perkins with:
Half a pound of tupenny rice
Half a pound of treacle
That's the way the money goes
Pop goes the weasel
If people feel hunger and they want to
get easy cash for food (a cheap menu),
they sell out to a pawnshop.



1st - Larry Brash with:
The Bronte Sisters, Anne, Charlotte and Emily =
Celebrate many stories set in the North land.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
President Milosevic =
Voters discipline me.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Elle "The Body" Macpherson =
Hyperbole! She can't model!

David Bourke with:
Sir Francis Owen Garbett Williams =
"Win? Well, I'm a first-rate racing boss!"

David Bourke with:
Mister Michael John Tully =
Let the jolly Irishman cum.

Larry Brash with:
Prince of Darkness =
Repression and KFC.

Larry Brash with:
christianruppert =
This prurient crap.

John Fidler with:
Anna Nicole Smith =
I'm not 'lean' in cash.

Richard Grantham with:
Damir Dokic =
Dim, or a dick?

Jaybur with:
The Tolpuddle Martyrs =
Ruddy hamlet plotters.

Jaybur with:
The Liberal Democrat Leader Charles Kennedy =
A red-haired Scot bletherer; d'ye all ken me clan?

Meyran Kraus with:
Aboriginal Athlete Cathy Freeman =
Ah, may light beacon at eternal fire!

Meyran Kraus with:
Pythagoras of Samos =
Go assay math proofs.

Rick Rothstein with:
Sir Francis Owen Garbett Williams =
Airflow misers win racing battles.


1st - ID Letterman with:
The great city of San Francisco =
Ecstatic, horny fags fornicate.

eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
The Organization of Petroleum-Exporting Countries =
Gang met to fix up our oil price on (or set near to) zenith.

eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
Crispy Chicken Deluxe =
Six-inch recycled puke.

Eri with:
Church of Latterday Saints =
Cult's in search for thy data.

Husband and Wife with:
Prosecutor's Office =
Court officer posse.

Jaybur with:
The Suzuki Grand Vitara =
A rush at UK advertizing.

Mike Keith with:
Old Wall St. Hint, OK? =
Dow Shalt Not Kill.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Persian Gulf =
US Fighter Plane.

Len Richards with:
Kentucky Fried Chicken =
Check, find key in tucker.

Rick Rothstein with:
Bacillus Anthracis =
Bullshit In Caracas.

Rick Rothstein with:
Albuquerque, New Mexico =
I claw queer buxom queen.

Rick Rothstein with:
Cambridge University =
I'm receiving sturdy BA.

Rick Rothstein with:
Cotton, the fabric of our lives =
Favorite cloth... soft, bouncier.

Rick Rothstein with:
The Organization of Petroleum-Exporting Countries =
Mean oil pricing thugs extort, freeze out poor nation.

Mick Tully with:
A Pilgrimage to Lourdes =
God, a religious trample!


1st - Heather Mappus with:
Preventing coital desire =
Locating penis... Retrieved!
God! entire penis vertical!
Lord! I pet it, never ceasing.
Penis erect in large divot.
Never deep: giant clitoris.

2nd - Earle Jones with:
State of California =
Afloat in factories.
Cartoon affiliates.
Fanatical fires, too.

eq.3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Lee Harvey Oswald =
A sad, very low heel.
Wee shady overall.
Shall eye a red vow.
Why else a lad over?
As volley we heard.
Was hell, day or eve.
How severe a dally.
Away! Do serve hell!
Ay, he leaves world.
Yes, held a real vow.
However, a sly deal.
Oh, a lawyer delves.
Reveal ye, old Shaw?
Who lays revealed?
Real way shoveled.
Hey... we over Dallas?

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Onward, Christian soldiers! =
Warlord dean's histrionics?
Isn't iron-ware clash sordid?
Scolds horrid Satan: "Er, I win!"
Saint: "Cowardliness? Horrid!"
Slices Satan - did win horror.
This sword in iron-clad arse!

Mick Tully with:
A Pilgrimage to Lourdes =
God's Ma to a puerile girl.
Eager, ill groups to maid.
I'm a girl to pleasure God.


1st - David Bourke with:
The Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch


2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The song used in the film "Watership Down".


3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Three anagrams of A Daughter of Eve by Christina Georgina Rossetti


Richard Brodie with:
[This past weekend I attended my 40th class reunion. So here are some thoughts, wandering through the crowd, down memory lane:]

Fortieth high school reunion =

"Hi!" (self recognition - oh oh, hurt!)
[the pain of realizing how old one is getting, and the even greater pain of seeing how young some are managing to stay!]

"Hi!" (tough senior, then rich fool)
[the perennial braggart]

"Hi!" (Oh, oh! Lo, nice frosh in gutter)
[one of those nice guys who finished last]

"Hi!" (O! the corniest fool grin, huh)
[the school clown continues to entertain]

"Hi!" (lost one inch height, or four!)
[a little bent over with the years]

"Hi!" (he is nigh her, out of control)
[old flames rekindled]

"Hi!" (true, he of no control is high)
[the school drunk, still true to form]

No "Hi!" for "Gone Hither" list. Ouch!
[remembering the departed]

"Hi!" (nice hug for her; oh no, lost it!)
[overwhelmed by emotion upon parting]


Richard Brodie with:
Psalm 8


Don P. Fortier with:
Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, Ontario, Quebec, Manitoba, Alberta, Saskatchewan, British Columbia, Yukon, Nunavut, and the Northwest Territories
Canada, where Atlantic tides, Pacific squalls, brown bears, mountain avalanches can beat, wound the unwary tourist, kin.
(and better not drive with Eskimos drunk on wine or Bourbon)
Provincial divisions in Canada.
Eskimos acquired their own.
But bastard French want to break out, withdraw.
Clowns became annual trouble, threaten new token ban on USA industry.
Provinces in Canada. (Equivalent to a state, hoser!)
Known for back bacon, snow, William Shatner, ice,
Mounties, snow, and ice...
...and wild, rabid white bears run at your drunk butt!
(Ran butt... eh!)


Don P. Fortier with:
Little Miss Muffet


Don P. Fortier with:
Little Boy Blue


Richard Grantham with:
A simultaneous anagram and approximate translation of Abend by Rainer Maria Rilke.


Mike Keith with:
Words heard, by accident, over the phone


Mike Keith with:
Ecclesiasticus 44: 1-15


Heather Mappus with:

"I, Vice-President Al Gore (TN),
covet presidential reign.
(Listen, Ace, I governed Tip'r.
It IS relevant. Proceeding
on: I, (D) repel (R), etc. It's a given.
er... 'n' I dig respect.) Vote Al in!"

Grr! Inane topic televised.
VP Gore's credential? Tie-in!

Inept evildoers, creating,
Render negative politics.

I rant: lies preceding vote!
Tailoring evident, Creeps!

(Idling, creep retains vote.)


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