Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000


1st - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Who's the World's Stupidest Person? =
Results show the Windsors topped.

2nd - Art Day with:
There is no God but Allah =
Death to all neighbours!

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Scriptures =
Precise truths.

David Bourke with:
Old age pensioner =
Ignored? Please, no!

Larry Brash with:
Pounds, shillings and pence =
P.S. Adding up - nonsensic Hell.

Art Day with:
Youngster =
Genus: Tyro.

Andrew Denny with:
There is no God but Allah =
Holding earth absolute.

Jon Gearhart with:
Representatives =
Perverse in taste.

Jon Gearhart with:
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome =
Sunny mother saddened at find...

Richard Grantham with:
Natural selection =
Ancestral outline.

Richard Grantham with:
He who hesitates is lost =
She is wise to hate sloth.

Richard Grantham with:
Desolation =
Alone, sod it!

Jaybur with:
Morbid obesity =
I'm so bored by it.

Jaybur with:
Cardinal virtues =
Rid natural vices.

Jaybur with:
Antiperspirant deodorant =
Trap and detain rot in pores.

Mike Keith with:
Assertively =
VALET: Yes, sir!

Meyran Kraus with:
Rob cars with ~
this crowbar.

Meyran Kraus with:
"No Admittance!" =

ID Letterman with:
The prospect of war =
Two paths, perforce.

Tom Myers with:
True love, forever! =
Free out -- revolver.

Graham Perkins with:
What's for tea? ~
Oh, a few tarts!

Rick Rothstein with:
The Angora breed =
Be near goat herd.

Rick Rothstein with:
American Dream =
Men admire a car.

Rick Rothstein with:
I have this really bad cold =
Shit! I ached badly all over.

Mick Tully with:
Agribusiness =
Is barn, I guess.

Mick Tully with:
The Easter Rising =
Green Irish State.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Wile E. Coyote and The Roadrunner =
Try a cartoon duel where none die!

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The Paralympic Games =
Gym team has a cripple.

3rd - Chris Bradfield with:
I left my heart in San Francisco =
I am the classic forty-niner fan.

Abacusapts with:
Professional Yorkshireman =
Mary Parkinson: "Is sheer fool!"

David Bourke with:
David Robert Joseph Beckham =
Chart bimbo Posh jerked Dave.

Chris Bradfield with:
Girl, you'll be a woman soon =
Allow young lesbian room.

Don P. Fortier with:
FBI Agent Clarice Starling =
"Cannibal" Lecter: first I gag!

Richard Grantham with:
Le Sacre du Printemps =
Merits supple dancer.

Kevin Hale with:
Women's Beach Volleyball =
Call 'Heave wobbly melons'!

Jaybur with:
Inspector Morse to die =
O, tec's demise: RIP or not?

Jaybur with:
Nigella Lawson's 'How to Eat' =
O, so swallowing a tale then.

Rick Rothstein with:
The last of the Mohicans =
Oh! The stoic man has left.

Mick Tully with:
'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' =
Abilities? A moron won wealth!

Brad Williams with:
'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' =
A new lame-brain show. I loot it!


1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic =
Damning evil policy, Serbs voted asshole out.

2nd - Jaybur with:
Pride, covetousness, lust, envy, greed, anger, sloth =
The Yugoslav revolts: censured President's gone.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mel Carnahan, the Governor of Missouri =
Great crash - mourn him, for no one's alive.

David Bourke with:
The Formula One World Championship =
"Oomph! Well, Finn, I am a red-hot pro!" - Schu.

David Bourke with:
The Paymaster General Geoffrey Robinson =
The Loan Arranger (so Peter begs iffy money).

Larry Brash with:
Peter Reith, Minister for Employment, Workplace Relations and Small Business =
I lent my son, Paul, a free limitless telephone card. News: it's a rort. PS. I'm broken, Mr.

Dan Fortier with:
Robert Lee Yates, Junior =
A jury? Seen too terrible.

Don P. Fortier with:
The Abortion pills =
Stall it. Born, I hope!

Don P. Fortier with:
USS Cole is attacked in Yemen =
Suicide lent yeoman caskets.

Earle Jones with:
Get thee to a nunnery ~
yet hunt no teenager.

Graham Perkins with:
The Shadow Cabinet =
Con. bit at weed, hash.

Rick Rothstein with:
Severe flood warning =
Inflow overran edges.

Rick Rothstein with:
Third presidential debate =
It depleted hardiest brain.


1st - Rick Rothstein with:
I please her vagina =
I have a large penis.

2nd - David Bourke with:
The performing of cunnilingus =
Chin/tongue in prone girl's muff.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Nauseating =
Eating anus.

David Bourke with:
Semen pours into ~
minestrone soup.

David Bourke with:
Homosexual tendencies =
Exclude a she, so into men.

Larry Brash with:
Pornographic material =
It can harm a girl or Pope.

Larry Brash with:
Gender identity disorder =
Tits, derriere. I'd deny dong.

Richard Grantham with:
The large intestines =
Inlet generates shit.

Meyran Kraus with:
Works in a diner =
"I wank in orders."

Meyran Kraus with:
On a Sunday we go to the local priest =
A goon copulates with ten-year-olds!

Tom Myers with:
High school sweetheart =
Chloe, she's a tight whore.

Len Richards with:
Wet Dreams =
Wasted REM.

Rick Rothstein with:
A sweet notion =
Sit on a wet one.

Mick Tully with:
Impotent =
Mon petit!

Brad Williams with:
Cardinal virtues =
Red vicar in a slut.


1st - Richard Grantham with:
My White Cotton Panties are Rolled Down Over My Firm Tan Thighs!
And My Knees are Up Over My Head!!
Guess What You Can See?
Wow! I Can See Them - A Warty, Runny Minge, One Of Your Dodgy Herpetic Vulva Sores, And The Stinky Arsehole That Spammed Me!

2nd - David Bourke with:
Try this site out. I found some really great Items.
Why e-post here, sucker? Fuck off, you cretin! In Alt.Anagrams, we do not wish to try this scummy, shitty little site.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Dear fat-ass, don't spam us again with your weirdo untrue crap, regarding Coke and/or Irish gins, etc. Finish!

Larry Brash with:
F,.R,E-E, .C-A,B.L-E, .T-V, .B-U,I.LD, .A- ,C.A-B,L.E- ,B.O-X, .P,.L,A.N =
All babble, acute pox, and clever fib.

Dan Fortier with:
Please I have a problem =
I prove a spam-able heel.

James H. Young with:
Internet Sharing with whole set computer system service =
No! We must stop the shit entirely, Mister crevice-shwanger!


1st - Richard Grantham with:
From: mem39@lycos.com
Subject: Get yourself out of debt

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'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Spammerwock, our son!
Foul cons that fool, queer lures that catch!
Beware conniving cunts, and shun
'Fun Fifteen-Year-Old Snatch'!"

O, I took yon mouse from off our floor,
Then took off to hunt our foe one noon;
Poor moi! Too fearful in my core -
No man, I felt a loon.

Until out of an Inbox, one appear'd -
One Spammerwock, to foully vex:
Offensive on the eye, it near'd,
Now roaring "Live Free Sex!!!!!"

At once I wrote one stroppy note
Concerning those quite horrid cunts
To 'abuse @ pokeadot dot com',
Who snuffed it out at once.

"O, hast thou slain the Spammerwock?
Hooray, O conqueror! Such clout!
O frabjous day! Callooooh! Callay!"
All people soon did shout.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


2nd - David Bourke with:
The Most Powerful Anti-Obesity Drug Ever Discovered!

"It Is Like Metabolic Liposuction Vacuuming Off Excess Body Fat!"
"It Is The Age Reversal Miracle Of The 21st Century!"
"It Is The Ultimate Anti-Aging Therapy!"
"It Is Cosmetic Plastic Surgery In A Bottle!"

These are statements from physician researchers - as they try to find appropriate words to describe some of the amazing health benefits they have noted and documented in their clinical research work with this incredible substance!

For More Information, Click Here http://21649973/hgh.html

To be removed from this mailing list, click here

Thank You!!


Hey, lard arses! Massive 36-72-36? All blubber? Trim it!
In fact, you mightn't be harpooned every time you go swimming!

- Stop talking-scales screaming:
"Christ! No more coach-parties, please!"

- See your genitals without the aid of a mirror!

- Find where you had left that missing TV remote-control!

- Stop calling 999 (the Fire-Brigade) over, to hoist you from the bath!

- Have fewer chins than the Chinese telephone directory!

- Ride a bike and don't stick in the saddle!

- Have sex for the first time since 1972!

- Smaller (44D) tits!

- Fit in an F1 car!

..etc, etc, etc.

Is it pretty much time to trim-up?
- I think it is! Cut the crap!

Nice size 12? Click here:



3rd - Ralph Musco with:
Live Girl Productions Learn how to Strip for your partner! with "The Art of Seduction" Video

You deserve romance ... fantasy ... ecstasy... You can have it all!

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About Mary Taylor

WebSite: www.livegirlproductions.com

E-mail: peelandplay@livegirlproductions.com


Invite blazing passion into your love life.

Dive into hot water-sports fun at pottyfun.com!

This dazzling new hit video, "Urine My Dreams", is all you'll need to become the greatest piddler ever! Cool narrator Courtney Love demonstrates how you can easily empty your bladder like a porno star, in a car, on a railway train or an airplane, or totally vacate in a zoo, cavern, loo, or cafe!

Watch curvy oriental call girls force-urinate on noodles, and sweet hookers "pee-water" a gay stud's face!

Covers moral issues, urinary care and hygiene, stream focusing, reversal training, ways to change flavor/odor, improving flow, "body washing".

Rush to http://www.pottyfun.com

email: upissonme@ilikepoop.com


Don P. Fortier with:
I just read this article titled "Have You Heard The News? -New Scientific Weight Loss Technology". It's pretty fascinating, and has tons of stories on how all kinds of people are using this new technology to lose weight FAST, and pparently, very safely. It's several paragraphs long so I didn't want to post it all here where you might have to pay for the time you are "online". I went ahead and put a copy of it on my autoresponder, so you can get it emailed to you and read it at your own convenience. To get a copy of this article, just send any email to california@getresponse.com and you'll get it emailed right back to you in afew minutes.

Happy Reading!


Naive, April? If so, it was silly. See the
POSITION you're in? Why, the annoying spam
OPENED you up to our reaction, inviting
LEWD, erotic, even
HOT anagrams that will
STRIP you of any dignity for such a
NAKED, illicit violation of Usenet policy. We
FEEL tiny ones are less
PENETRATING and don't always work. Each
MEMBER therefore can do his as a
LONG one that often appears
HARD to do. They will list
POINTED, pithy complaints against it,
THRUSTING home the facts
REPEATEDLY. Just watch! Yet I'd gladly hold my
TONGUE if you just agree to
HEAD away. Everyone needs to
COME to accept the rules or
GET OFF this newsgroup.

(cross-posted @ alt.erotica)


Jon Gearhart with:
Want some real money?
Go to: http://www.themail.com/ref.htm?ref=1509258
If you like it, join. Send me an email with "Real Money" in the subject and I will tell you how to make up to $10,000 per month in as little as 8 weeks.
Jim Long


Want to get fucked? Well, moron??
Send $98,855 to:


Mail it now--CASH ONLY.

with REMOVE ME on the top.



1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Winter Nightfall by Robert Bridges


2nd - Ralph Musco with:

This is real MACE, made by MSI - exactly what many police departments issue their officers. These are police issue models and are legal everywhere in the USA.

The device is TRIPLE-ACTING - containing MACE (tear gas), PEPPER (oleocapsicum) and UV (ultraviolet) dye for ID purposes. They are ideal for women to carry, fitting easily into a purse or pocket.

The price is $20.00 per cannister, shipping included. We accept VISA, MASTERCARD, AMERICAN EXPRESS, DISCOVER, DINERS CLUB, and CARTE BLANCHE. C.O.D. orders are charged shipping plus a $5.00 C.O.D. fee, and MUST be paid via MONEY ORDER.

To order, send your payment to:

516-328-3641 FAX

Credit card orders may be phoned or FAXed.


neil hoffman

NOTE: This product ONLY available in the United States of America.


For Sale: Military Attack Mice

$160 each ($1,400 for 10)

These imported mice are genetically-engineered for superior performance and dependability. Over 68,100 casualties have been linked to our psychopathic rodents. In use by 342 law enforcement agencies.

Trained by handsome, tan ex-Army cadre in weaponry, tactics, and strategy, they're perfect assassins, bodyguards, spies, and mercenaries. They have exceptional survival skills, and need little maintenance (self-cleaning), food (feed on targets of opportunity), or currency.

Due to overproduction, these high-end animals are available at deep discounts. Free overnight shipping (DHL). Canadian orders add $30 import fee.

Mail certified checks or money orders to:

Super-Rodent Engineering, Inc.
91 Patuxent Rd.
San Jose, CA 01232

Or pay by Credit Card (AMEX/MC/Visa):

(800) 555-MICE (6423)

Rudolph Udelup, PhD
Visit: www.superrat.com
e-mail: udelup@superrat.com

CAUTION: Improper use may cause pet death or emphysema.


3rd - Don P. Fortier with: [From Othello, Act V, scene II]
"Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate,
Nor set down aught in malice: then must you speak
Of one that loved not wisely but too well."
"Look upon us: Iago gave a most potent untruth.
I, Othello, slew that innocent beauty, wife Desdemona.
Shame takes my own life next..."


David Bourke with:
Mercury, Venus, The Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.
Just nine planets,
May arc up round the Sun.
Ah, pure art,
Ever true must run!


David Bourke with:
Queen II
Sheer Heart Attack
A Night At The Opera
A Day At The Races
News Of The World
Live Killers
The Game
Flash Gordon
Greatest Hits
Hot Space
The Works
A Kind Of Magic
Live Magic
The Miracle
At The Beeb
Greatest Hits II
Live At Wembley
Made In Heaven
Queen Rocks
Greatest Hits III
Camp? I'm Quite A Tease, Darling!
I Love A Great Big Thick Stiff Bony Cock Right Here In The Arsehole
Squirt Come At Me, Fist Me, Eat Shite Then Heave
What's My Prick Size?
Look, I Seek Real Queers
Willie And The Hand Jive
Longing Gaze
A Hetero Anal Crush? Ain't That A Waste!
Haven't We Been Aids-Tested Together, Dear?


Richard Brodie with:
The cow of Miss O'Leary kicking over a lantern in her barn. =
A killer Chicago fire - not merry news - thank bovine arson!


Jaybur with:
Jonathan Edwards, Denise Lewis, Audley Harrison, Jason Queally, Stephanie Cook, Steve Redgrave, Matthew Pinsent, Tim Foster, James Cracknell, Fred Scarlett, Simon Dennis, Kieran West, Louis Attril, Andrew Lindsay, Steve Trapmore, Rowley Douglas, Ben Hunt-Davis, Luka Grubnor, Ben Ainslie, Iain Percy, Shirley Robertson, Richard Faulds.
British achievers earn luck, gold medals down under. As winners starred at Sydney, Australia events: Athletics, Cycling, Triple Jump, a Pentathlon, Sailing, we looked on. As modern warriors breathed Aussie air, ran, enjoyed a drink; brave, fearless, all just went for it. Think men shared best-ever Olympics; easily, no question. Wonderful!


Mick Tully with:
hi you piece of dog shit
come the next federal election you lump of dog shit you will not be as quick to denigrate our Pauline
john groves/ Capt. foulmouth
h2oaquarium@one.net.au (mr l j groves)


Your juvenile 'crap' comical, huh?

Quote: "Feed out poo, Hu!"

Ooooo, extreme bigot!

Hu: I judge aim, egging to vote the fish fryer Pauline Hanson, Queen of Australia!

send post 2:



1st - Jaybur with:
Sir Peter Paul Rubens =
Superb painter rules.

2nd - Circe with:
Marilyn Monroe =
*Norma* , in my role.

3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Alfred Hitchcock, Master of Suspense =
Plot? Heck, he scared us stiff! Scream on!

Wayne Baisley with:
Don from Louisiana =
Dial O for Onanism U.

David Bourke with:
Kim Carnes =
Skin cream.

David Bourke with:
Emma Lee Bunton =
No tune? Blame me!

David Bourke with:
Peter Benjamin Mandelson =
Permanent job: Semen in lad.

David Bourke with:
Anne Noreen Widdecombe =
"Weed-banner, once I'm done!"

David Bourke with:
William Tunstall-Pedoe, the creator of Anagram Genius... ~
Is a great, charming person... time we all found out. Tell A.A!

Chris Bradfield with:
The Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic =
Bloodiest hedonist rampages convulsively.

Larry Brash with:
Ann Noreen Widdecombe =
Demon weed-banner icon.

Larry Brash with:
Remo and his brother =
Hemorrhoids banter.

Circe with:
Lady Diana Spencer =
Send a Lady a Prince!

Don P. Fortier with:
Maurice Greene =
I run, emerge ace!

Mike Hatton with:
Michael Martin =
I'm mental Chair.

Jaybur with:
Vojislav Kostunica and Slobodan Milosevic =
Vodkas, vocalism and villainous objections.

Jaybur with:
The late lamented Princess of Wales =
Sad echo: we let false men print tales.

Jaybur with:
Aesculapius, the god of medicine =
Cue healing customs: a deified op.

Rick Rothstein with:
Nicholas Tam =
Last Mohican.

Mick Tully with:
Mel Carnahan, Governor of Missouri =
No arrival of Cessna? Gore: "Mourn him."

Mick Tully with:
Miss Elizabeth Hurley =
Hey, helium breasts, Liz?


1st - Jaybur with:
Fire of London =
Inferno of old.

2nd - Ralph Musco with:
Upset Stomach =
Tums stop ache.

3rd - Andrew Denny with:
The International Space Station =
Pathetic totalitarian nonsense.

David Bourke with:
The People's Republic Of China =
Open chip shop, eat rice, be full!

David Bourke with:
The Clifton Suspension Bridge =
Brings suicides help (not often!)

David Bourke with:
Parliament =
Martin plea.

Chris Bradfield with:
Tesco - every little helps =
I sell to the clever types.

Larry Brash with:
Outback Steakhouse - No rules, just right! =
Aussie jerks eat hot roo butt-lug chunks.

Circe with:
AOL and Time-Warner =
Warn - read not e-mail?

Don P. Fortier with:
Taco Bell Restaurants =
Cat, burro, eel, ants, salt.

Don P. Fortier with:
Desolation =
as in... Toledo?

Meyran Kraus with:
Des Moines =
I'm so dense!

Rick Rothstein with:
Budweiser =
Brew is due.

Mick Tully with:
Friends of the Earth =
For threatened fish.

Brad Williams with:
Nuits-St-Georges =
Gut-tossing sere.


1st - Brad Williams with:
Man walks into the bar I use, a trusty duck tethered. =
The bartender wails, "Take this turkey and scum out!"
The man wheedles, "Arr, but it's not a turkey, it's a duck!"
The bartender says, "Um... true. I was talkin' to the duck."

2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" =
Epic reads: Two girls, mother, one absent fiancé.

Predilection for best wit as name change rose,
Breach is a rift, some secret pain to Gwendolen,
As scene tempo races on with glorified banter.

3rd - Jaybur with:
Severe flood warning =
I endanger overflows.
Given news for ordeal.
Darn! see overflowing.
Or reviews of England.
SE loved forewarning.

Andrew Denny with:
BEA director Paul-Louis Arslanian =
Lord! insatiable raucous airplane.
Unprintable odious aerial rascal.
Airliner as an odious culpable rat.
A sad unreliable unsocial airport.
Abort unsocial residual airplane.

Richard Grantham with:
Large intestine =
Egest in latrine.
Genteel, I strain.
Gee, it's internal!
Lie, insert a gent.

Richard Grantham with:
The large intestine =
It isn't elegant here.
Alien testing there.

Earle Jones with:
Anchor Steam Beer ~
breathes romance
on earth's embrace.

Rick Rothstein with:
Prolongs Active Life =
Penis over clit of gal.
Flog penis over a clit.

Rick Rothstein with:
Uncle Tom's Cabin =
Slob came in cunt.
Manic cunt lobes.
Lamb cunt... so nice.
"Bone" claims cunt.


1st - Richard Grantham with:


2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
The Land of Beyond


3rd - Mike Keith with:
Four-Gram-Word Text (from Will Shak. play)


Richard Brodie with:
Wayne wrote: =
We wrote "Nay!"

Hello All =
O, all hell!

I would like to know what service or business is missing from the internet. =
Sink into the stinking toilet, wise-ass child, November's worm; we're furious!

Could it use a more helpful (paid) version of Ask Jeeves? =
Leave, stupid idle chap, morose evil nauseous jerk-off.

Could it use a forwarding service so that snail and email is only given to one company? =
O, one nice guillotine avails for deactivating now your crass damn asshole type mind.

Could the internet use a Better Business Bureau? (reporting good and bad companies, sites across the internet) =
To thou nonentities: O, be gone, abhorred, stupid, accursed bastards; cease terrible uninteresting usenet spam.

Maybe you want an ISP that charges only $10.00 / month? =
Ante up $1,000. O, why that? money coming analyst Brash!

What would you like to see thats not already on the internet? =
Hey, we want to see that all you idiots do not lurk near the net!

I want to know...what you think and I want to you to forward this posting to at least 5 people. I would like to receive a minimum of 1,000 emails on this topic by November 5, 2000 - Can you help me. (I want a total of 15,000 emails by Nov 30, 2000) =
Me, I want your sick fool mind out today. Best not piss all over us with an infinite number (well, 510,005,200,015,000,302,000) of e-mails to people who don't like it. You might want to take a vacation. Wave bye! "Ciao!" to that moron. I'm happy now!

Email your replies to wrowe62@uswest.net
Please use a subject of: SURVEY =

Wayne Rowe =
sneaky owner?


David Bourke with:


David Bourke with:
Queen's 'Flash' anagrammed into a play set in the British alt.anagrams Mission Control Spaceship...


David Bourke with:
Goosey, goosey gander


David Bourke with:
Baa, baa, black sheep


David Bourke with:
Wee Willie Winkie


David Bourke with:
Taffy was a Welshman


David Bourke with:
God Save the Queen


Richard Grantham with:
Lucky's monologue from "Waiting for Godot", anagrammed into a short scene in the style of the play.


Mike Keith with:
[On contemplating one's rag on dusting day...]

H He Li Be B C N O F Ne Na Mg Al Si P S Cl Ar K Ca Sc Ti V Cr Mn Fe Co Ni Cu Zn Ga Ge As Se Br Kr Rb Sr Y Zr Nb Mo Tc Ru Rh Pd Ag Cd In Sn Sb Te I Xe Cs Ba La Ce Pr Nd Pm Sm Eu Gd Tb Dy Ho Er Tm Yb Lu Hf Ta W Re Os Ir Pt Au Hg Tl Pb Bi Po At Rn Fr Ra Ac Th Pa U Np Pu Am Cm Bk Cf Es Fm Md No Lr Rf Db Sg Bh Hs Mt



Buff, comb, sponge, drag, and grind;
Transform the French bric-brac,
Promptly banish the past.

But hark, the crumbs we can scrub:

Rambling Scotland,
boxing champs,
Czech kings,
grand czars,

Crippled plumbers,
flabby humpbacks,

pretty Mammon,



The Anagrammy Awards