Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2001


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Bottles of hydrogen peroxide =
Good tip there for sexy blonde.

2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
"Are you the Messiah?" =
"Ah, so true. Yes, I am He."

3rd - Jaybur with:
A little gem =
Let it gleam!

David Bourke with:
Having Parkinson's Disease ~
passive shaking drains one.

Larry Brash with:
Vacations in Britain =
NB, visit in a raincoat!

Don P. Fortier with:
Separation of church and state =
A feud to preach no Christ, Satan.

Richard Grantham with:
To be or not to be, that is the question =
No better quotation - ooh, it's the best!

Richard Grantham with:
"Monarch" is an ~

Richard Grantham with:
God the Trinity =
Not right deity.

Adrian Hickford with:
Devil-may-care =
A medieval cry.

Adrian Hickford with:
Lunatic ~
in a cult.

Adrian Hickford with:
Old Father Time =
I'm the fate-lord.

Adrian Hickford with:
Head in the sand =
Hasten and hide.

Jaybur with:
Action replay =
In a copy later.

Jaybur with:
Architectural design =
Castle arch intrigued.

Meyran Kraus with:
Bad Dreams =

Meyran Kraus with:
Singles party, beers and me? =
A stranger sleeps in my bed.

Art Metzer with:
A Benetton nightshirt... =
...is better than nothing.

Tom Myers with:
Surgical appendectomy operation =
Open, grope, aim, cut it, close and pray.

Tom Myers with:
Feeling morose =
Lonesome, grief.

Tom Myers with:
Sadly, we were late getting there, for a ~
were-wolf ate the tardy teenage girls.

Tom Myers with:
Tries to conceal ~
secret location.

Rick Rothstein with:
Ingredients =
I get dinners.

Rick Rothstein with:
It's a silly game of chance =
Face it, my cash is all gone!

Rick Rothstein with:
Adrenaline rush =
Ah, runners' ideal!

James H. Young with:
A stitch in time saves nine =
It maintains nice vests, eh?


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Oscar Wilde's "De Profundis" =
Prison life cued sad words.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Vincent Van Gogh's Self Portrait With Severed Ear =
Provocative strength, as ever, in the self-drawing.

3rd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Screen actors Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner =
Drown gowned actress near recreational boat.

David Bourke with:
Power In The Darkness =
Red-hot penis-wankers.

Nick Day with:
Gardeners' Question Time =
Radio's greenest men quit!

Maurice Goddard with:
Sir Harry Secombe has died at the age of seventy-nine =
'Eh?! Yes, I am arty, and a finest best-ever cherished Goon!'

Richard Grantham with:
The great musician John Birks 'Dizzy' Gillespie =
Idol is big in jazz. (His trumpeting's real cheeky.)

David A. Green with:
"Either that wall paper goes or I do" =
Last repartee got a ho-ho. RIP Wilde.

Adrian Hickford with:
Gregorian chant =
A retching groan.

Jaybur with:
Auguste Rodin: The Thinker =
Nude, OK... isn't it rather huge?

Jaybur with:
The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby =
Dickens: Naive enter fanciful Dotheboys Hall.

Jaybur with:
Van Gogh's masterpiece 'Irises' =
So, he's perceiving art's images.

Jaybur with:
I wander'd lonely as a cloud =
Analysed nice world, aloud!

Mike Keith with:
Edgar Allan Poe's poem "The Raven" =
Pale ghost, a plea, and "Nevermore".

Rick Rothstein with:
Edgar Allan Poe's poem "The Raven" =
A phantom ravaged sleep... Lenore?

Tim 9/23 with:
Elisabeth, Colby, Keith, and Tina =
Likable, Bonehead, Shitty, Antic.

Mick Tully with:
"I cried all the way to the bank!" =
That wealthy Liberace kid, no?


1st - David Bourke with:
The American spyplane =
Chinese play mean trap.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic =
Envious cops storm fiend's roomy Belgrade villa.

3rd - Dan Fortier with:
San Diego council bans the word 'minority' =
Racism in doubt, saying "non-white-colored".

David Bourke with:
The Sunday Mirror =
Harm, ruin, destroy.

Bob Dog with:
Odyssey Takes Off for Mars Today =
O yes, sky staff, star foray doomed!

Don P. Fortier with:
I owe thirteen dollars to Uncle Sam =
then allows dire IRS to clean me out!

Don P. Fortier with:
More protests at Quebec trade summit =
Smart to mace queer, stupid street mob.

Adrian Hickford with:
Cambridge wins the Boat Race =
Now beat brighter academics.

Jaybur with:
Thousands of sheep are buried in mass graves =
So, bereaved hush: aura of springtime sadness.

Jaybur with:
Red Marauder wins The National =
I'm a horse and underwent a trial!

Jaybur with:
William Shakespeare's birthday =
April's skies: we may hail the Bard.

Tom Myers with:
China holds US Navy plane and airmen =
Spy on evil and inhumane land, a crash.

Tom Myers with:
Downey Junior arrested again =
I enjoy to wander in drug areas.

Rick Rothstein with:
Holocaust Memorial Day =
Ordeal? I am a holy custom.

Rick Rothstein with:
The Messiah -- He died for your sins =
I heed His story of human desires.

Mick Tully with:
The Sophie Tapes =
Soap epithets eh?

Mick Tully with:
Daily Express =
PR: sexy ladies!

Mick Tully with:
The FA Barclaycard Premiership =
Crap beer? Ha-ha, Credit firm plays!


1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Empty penis? =
Yep, I'm spent.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Real Men don't eat quiche =
Queer male can do it, then?

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Net erotica -- yes, it's unsafe! =
It often causes eye strain!

David Bourke with:
Carpet burns ~
curb parents.

David Bourke with:
Bum grapes? =
Gasp! Rub me!

David Bourke with:
Foolish data =
A load of shit.

David Bourke with:
Unwanted pubic hairs =
Up in a rancid, wet bush.

Don P. Fortier with:
The Blackburn Royal Mail Sorting Office =
A bitchy girl: "OK, firm, bar flatulence soon!"

Meyran Kraus with:
'Choking a Pants-Chicken' =
Spank an eight-inch cock!

ID Letterman with:
Ah, premature release =
A male urethra peeser.

Tom Myers with:
My sensuous bitch =
But she's my cousin.

Tom Myers with:
Lube, come in the pussy/ass =
But she's my cousin! Please!

Rick Rothstein with:
Do you want to come up for a drink... ~
and do your option to fuck me raw?

Rick Rothstein with:
I am in the weirdo's cunt =
I want to cum inside her!

Mick Tully with:
Fat organ in sauciest date ~
satisfaction guaranteed!

Mick Tully with:
Taipei Medical University Hospital =
I limit ladies' phone activity (up arse).

Mick Tully with:
Put out on the first date =
Up into the oft-used tart.

Mick Tully with:
McDonald's restaurant =
Taste Ronald's darn cum...


1st - Richard Grantham with:
!!!!!!P O R N O M A N I A!!!!!!
Fifty Naked Beauties!
Dykes Giving A Stallion Head!
Amazing Anal Video!
Plus Much More!
If I ever meet you, nasty spammer, I'll stick my sodding bazooka up your fat ass and fire again and again till you've had enough.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Work at Home Network with our company was reviewed and published - Wall Street Journal Business Week, Home PC, Forbes
Web-horror Norenwood Jake
Sent himself spam by mistake;
Server blew up-
Uh-oh, screwed up!
One client was what it would take!

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Send me an email
I'll send you a list
Thank you
Dammit! Fuck yourself, arsehole.
110 million emails?
On to a nasty death, NOW!

David Bourke with:
Nonce! Extreme nonce alert! We hope you rot in jail, Mr. Fuckface. You damn wanker. Go to hell for a record 1-2-1 with the Devil, Mr.

Jon Gearhart with:
Hardcore, Dirty, Sluty, pussy getting fucked up the ass and cunt !!!!!! 214 =
Thrust 421 pudgy fingers up thy anus -- cycle and rotate, sickest dud!!!!!!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Increased energy, a sense of well being, increased libido, clearer skin, looking younger, and no more constipation =
I don't see any good in meekly dangerous "California brew" recipe; (sickening creation borders on illegal nonsense.)

Adrian Hickford with:
Our Customers Say It Best! =
Sob! You taste rectums, sir.

James H. Young with:
Look, the idea was yours, you made the site, you made it successful, now shouldn't you be getting the money? =
Yo, dude. Look, bet you're a shit-eating asshole, you teeming wet scum weed, thus shouldn't you sit on my face?

James H. Young with:
See top porn star Cathy Barry do everything imaginable. =
Or I see glib or annoying spam hatched by a ratty pervert.


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Hi! My name is Betty Wilson. I got your e-mail address off a post. Please forgive me if I made an error; I'm a two-fingered typist. I put this little note together to show people that it's not impossible to lose any amount of weight that you want! I hope you find this information useful.

I'm married, with two boys, ages fourteen and twelve.

I was getting bigger every year. My weight had hit 264 pounds at age 38. For my height and build, I should have weighed about 175 pounds. That was 89 pounds overweight, clinically obese. My parents were concerned that I was overweight, and growing larger. Every time I lost weight, I gained even more back.

THEN CAME THE CHALLENGE. They said that if I lost weight and got down to my proper weight, they would give me $5,000.

I wanted that money, but even more I wanted to look better and be healthy. I dieted on and off for seven months, but got nowhere. I was depressed and disappointed.

I had researched and tried many weight loss programs during my yo-yo dieting years. I did Slim Fast, Cyber vision, soup diets, starvation, "exercise-and-eat-no-fat," chromium picolinate, metabolic enhancers, and more. You name it and I tried it. I lost some pounds with every diet, and then eventually gained it back, usually with a few extra pounds.


Ashamed, desperate and miserable, I was on the verge of giving up. But finally I twigged onto a method which reaped immediate dividends - I lost those extra 89 pounds and MORE... IN A SINGLE NIGHT!!!

Here's my secret:

1. Invite a band of 7 or 8 friends over, and get them to watch as you begin swigging Bloody Marys until you're utterly maggoted. Or, if you have no friends (as I do), simply chug away to a point where you're still dimly in command but notice no more pain (a good way to gauge this is with a stapler on the windpipe).

2. Grab a sharp blade and the vacuum cleaner.

3. Make great big incisions wherever you're deemed too podgy, shove in the pipe, switch it on and lose the damn adipose tissue! It's the odd whitish matter - however, if you inadvertently swallow a kidney instead (it's a brown thingy in the shape of a beef patty with a bite in it) don't worry, you've got another.

4. Wipe up the bleeding and remove leftover lumps of offal.

5. Sew up with cotton thread, dental floss or whatever's around (I ultimately went for picture wire).

6. Seek immediate medical attention.

I got my $5000! I'm now dead slim and getting slimmer by the day. I guarantee this scheme can fix your weight woes too, so if it's needed why not try it tonight?

The Estate of the Late Betty Wilson


2nd - Larry Brash with:

Our Body Wrap has done just that, over 4 million times during the past 30 years. The public demand for this product has been overwhelming! Our customers get excited when they can fit into jeans, that just an hour before, they had to lay down to zip up. They usually tell their friends, neighbors, family and anyone else who will listen all about our great Body Wrap and the great results! Customers start telling others and we end up with a lot of referrals.


Here, in short, is a total untruth, but a great way to rip off worn-out fat bastards. We can sell these flabby-arsed horrors plastic sandwich wrap, which we give a scientific-sounding name, for example, Lardeluene-304.

Each hour, you should aim to yield up to, at least, thirty (30) elephant impostors, or ten (10) jumbo-sized greedy guts, and nine unnaturally well-upholstered endomorphs. The bigger the jelly-bellies are, then the more wrap they need. Just head out to the shops and get ten rolls of vinyl. Don't run out!


3rd - David Bourke with:

Click Here!!!
If you like watching two girls together,
this is the site. Click Here!!!
25,000 All-New Lesbian Photos Click Here!!!
Thousands of LESBIAN Movies Click Here!!!


Click here - listen to k.d. lang's new album
"The Sapphic Sessions", with these choice tracks:

"Clitoris Cheese"
"Labia Licker"
"I Only Fuck Women"
"Hello, Bi!"
"Feelings For Her"
"Girlie Heaven"
"Elsie's 25,000-volt Vibrator"


Larry Brash with:
remove the information that your hard drive stores and may get you in big trouble. Every file you have ever downloaded or viewed is stored on your harddrive, even after deleting.

EVIDENCE ELIMINATOR is the only PROVEN system that works.


Are you for real? So, you mean by that, every rotten fucking spam that I've ever downloaded still lives on my drive? Oh, eerie shit! No sodding way I'd even or ever need that! Not ever! Order free? Send me your Avoid-Bad-Shit remover utility right now!


Dan Fortier with:
There's always good news at The Sands Online Casino.
For all the news about FREE DOWNLOADS, FREE GIVEAWAYS and loads of REAL CASH, click on the link below to enjoy the 3D virtual casino environment - like you've never seen before!
Click this link now: http://www.sandsofthecaribbean.com
Good luck and enjoy!
No no no no no no no way!
You never can win dollars at Virtual Gambling!
(...just like at a real casino!)
But we have: weirdos, drinkers,
tall fancy hookers, hot babes,
cheesy white trash, convicted dealers,
feeble fools, loons, jackoffs,
and even a few addled geeks...
only,... ONLINE!
Check the site!


Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Paranoid Disorders, Manias, Tics, Celiac disease, Motility, Emphysema, Scars, Grafts, Spa therapy, Ethology, Space germs & Aliens research, Green Politics, RC advice on coitus.


Meyran Kraus with:
Isn't your financial future worth a mere $49.95? For the cost of a few pizzas, you can literally buy your freedom back! But in order to ensure that you receive your copy, you must act now. We have just a limited supply on hand from our last print run. And to do another run is costly and takes several weeks. So when our current stock runs out, there's no telling when we'll get more. Don't be disappointed. Claim your copy today!
Please Don't Be Fooled By Similar "NEW CREDIT FILE" Kits. I've seen many other new credit file kits out there. They lead you to file for an EIN (Employment Identification Number, Form SS-4) or TIN (Taxpayer Identification Number, Form W-9) with the IRS. It's illegal to use these numbers to apply for new credit and I strongly advise against it. My methods are unlike all the rest. It's the only "New Credit File" kit of its kind!
But it gets even better! I'm eliminating all the risk on your part with my...
Solid No-Nonsense Lifetime Money Back Guarantee!


One terribly ugly spammer, a very cool Mey K. and pretty-girl Claudia Schiffer were sittin' in one stuffy, very old train on its way of, if I recall correctly, one US tour to Toronto. Of course, the train went through a tunnel and it went extremely dark; Suddenly, there were a noise of a kiss and then of a hittin' fist. When the train went out of the tunnel, Schiffer and Mey K. were sittin' still as if nothin' happened, only the surprised, sour spammer was nursin' a glorious bruise under one eye.

Claudia was thinkin': "Surely, I believe that little pizza-faced spammer tool must've tried to toy and feel me up, felt Mey up by accident and got clobbered."

The spammer was thinkin': "If I ain't incorrect, Mey probably tried to go for our fine model; Obviously, she tried to beat Mey up but got yours truly by accident."

Mey K. was thinkin': "It is too cool!!! I will just wait till we get to one more tunnel, make one more kissin' noise and take out our revoltin' spammer's second eye!"



1st - Larry Brash with:
Two households, both alike in dignity


2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart; knowing that knowledge is power. But know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, even when it is an in-law.
They are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They can drive you wild, would fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support those around them.
And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people to whom you care.

Men are good at lifting heavy things and fixing stuff.


...are friendly, but aloof, independent.
Kitties have warm, soft fur... and leave it everywhere.
They jump into your lap and get comfortable.
They know good grooming and make a show out of washing themselves.
They rub against your leg, when they feel like it, and bury their own poop, often in your garden.
They are good with high numbers: feline moms like to raise large families.
Even when one is small in size, it has the heart of a jungle lion.
A harsh warning hiss may be harmless, but hold on...
don't forget about those sharp claws and fangs they have!
Cats know no laws, morals, or embarrassment.
They know how to chase mice in dark rooms, how to flip over in midair, how to pounce, and how to make "meow" mean whatever they want it to.
Envy them, the smartest animals in the world: they sleep a minimum of fifteen hours a day.
They are content to sit in a window and watch the world go by.

...expect you to walk them, even in the rain.


3rd - David Bourke with:

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.



Choose shit. Choose being such a sad anorak. Choose sitting in front of a PC at about four in the morning. Choose The Daily Mail cryptic crossword. Choose/use Anagram Genius Windows software. Choose Sater. Choose General, Entertainment, Name, Other Name, Rude, Spam, Long Spam, Topical, Set, Long, Special, and Challenge. Choose abuse. Choose SUCH humiliation on the Anagrammy Members' Page. Choose hardship. Choose sacrifice. Choose jeopardising your job. Choose bringing your relationship to its knees. Choose watching that useless fat cunt off Countdown Richard 'Twice Nightly' Whiteley leering at Carol Vorderman. Choose finding Richard Stilgoe SO funny. Ho fucking ho. Choose a stiff neck... red eyes... carpal tunnel syndrome... how exciting for you. But if you choose, I can help you. For fuck's sake USE the future, dude! Get out here in the air - get a life!


Larry Brash with:
What is greater than God,
More evil than the devil,
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
And if you eat it, you'll die?
Hello, deduce it yet?
Gee, I did it.
Not all that hard for me.
I hope I have the very authoritative answer:


Richard Brodie with:
Two times three squared multiplied by thirty-seven =
How prime terms best yield the true devil's quantity.


Richard Brodie with:
That's one small step for a man; one giant leap for Mankind. =
Testing: "A moon a man a plan..." - thankless palindrome effort!


Bob Dog with:
The fool learns from experience, the wise learn from others'. =
Morons heel if shown to feel pain; the smart excel error free.


Maurice Goddard with:
The Great Sir Winston Spencer Churchill lies buried at Woodstock. =
Rhetoric was his doubtless king-weapon. Conclude: Restrict Hitler!


Meyran Kraus with:
Not a whit, we defy augury



1st - Jaybur with:
M. Etienne de Silhouette =
The esteemed in outline.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Stevie Wonder =
Er, doesn't view.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Wilfred Edward Salter Owen =
Left dead in World War sewer.

David Bourke with:
Roderick David Stewart =
View tired rockstar dad.

Larry Brash with:
Space Tourist, Dennis Tito =
Entire act? No, it's so stupid!

Meyran Kraus with:
Master Leonardo da Vinci =
Dead 'Mona Lisa' contriver.

Tom Myers with:
Andrea Thompson =
Porn? Not ashamed!

Tim 9/23 with:
Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen =
Champions in adept projectile.

Tim 9/23 with:
River Phoenix =
Vex heroin: R.I.P.


1st - Jaybur with:
The Israeli Airline =
El Al: I rise in the air!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Medical Profession =
Fine doctors please him.

3rd - Mick Tully with:
"Slimmer of the Year" =
Fearsomely trim, eh!

David Bourke with:
What is the capital of France? =
A fact: That fine WC-hole, Paris.

Richard Brodie with: ["Green" electricity slogan]
Choose wisely. It's a small planet. =
Aha! Essentially simple, low cost.

Dan Fortier with:
Dodge Stealth =
Saddle the GTO!

Meyran Kraus with:
The National Postal Museum =
'Mailmen Past - A Nuthouse Lot'.

Meyran Kraus with:
Osprey Aircraft =
Factory repairs.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Writers Guild of America =
Rigid authors, we create film.

Rick Rothstein with:
The National Postal Museum =
Assault? Up to the mailmen... no?


1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Five classic authors of the horror genre whose take on life is downright macabre and slightly loopy: =
Clive Barker: he can frighten you with his low-grade hits: cool passages on fiery Hell-rooms. Daft or not?
Fearful Stephen King - beastly car Christine: the groovy motor follows a sad high-school weirdo, Arnie.
H.P. Lovecraft wreaked chaos within terrific, insane tales of yore: horrible ghouls and gloomy ghosts.
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley wrote Frankenstein: gothic, horrific, savage - oh, poor ghoulish baddies.
Bram Stoker, Irish creator of fiendish Dracula. He goes for the nape so evilly! Got last lynching - oh wow!

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
"Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There" by Lewis Carroll =
O, Charles Dodgson's wholly logical brew: the girl, her kitten, a hut, fauna
(weird local bugs); through the talking flowers, an idle royal, then chaos!
Huge Lion harshly fights lethal Unicorn, or Tweedle lads go back to war;
chessboard, railway (hold on!), carol of the White Knight, ultra-sullen Egg
on the boil; finally (through the castle) our child grows regal...and wakes.

3rd - James H. Young with:
Here we have quite a brief story of art music all listed in an order according to dates. =
Cold Medieval style. An art where a quiet organ or recorder abuses its diatonic fifth.
To a time of Renaissance. Ruled where florid quaver goes to try basic cadential third.
Baroque. Rather ornamented scale grade with detail focused in solitary first voice.
Classical. A queer sort of a melody fit over a hard-beated uninteresting chord, I write.
Romantic. It is a quest so dedicated for a bluer, flowery, arching, heart-on-sleeve triad.

David Bourke with:
Five rather nasty little diseases I guess you most probably won't want to be catching: =
- AIDS. Poofters catch this by, well, rutting arses. You listen - even twats may be a bit "no-go".
- Cancer: Mutant gene-division. "Yet that's fatal? Gee!"...Why, it probably is. (But so slow, so rest).
- Botulism. You can get very fast eating poison cat doner/shish. (Best raw... well tasty, I bet!)
- Foot-and-mouth. Every strain, it is got (by air) by cattle, sheep, swine, stags. Beast cull now?
- Anagramitis. Flash, hot verbosity! But it always costs: Bedwetting, no sleep. No cure yet.

Larry Brash with:
The five crazy psychiatric disorders one should expect to get by spending too much fucking time in alt.anagrams =
Schizophrenia - David Bourke could get that terrifying madness. Nutcase-Psycho City from getting no male-sex pic.
Richard Grantham suffers Social Anxiety. He's desensitizing. Linda G to covet, occupy, tempt, bug, peck, deny him root.
Mey Kraus: got big-time Depression, PTSD-thing, Suicide Land. In fact, too crazy for the Army. Expect convalescing, huh?
Mr. Richard Brodie got a nasty case of psychotic Alzheimer's Disease. No fucking mind, nothing except putty, glue, TV.
Larry Brash's a frigging narcissistic ex-Catholic nut, impotent demented geek, vomit-fed Oz psychopath (you dunce).

Richard Brodie with:
Kyrie, eleison! Christe, eleison! Kyrie, eleison! =
Look, eye lies! I lie in error! I seek thy niceness!
Lo inherit sickly sin! O I see! O kneel, ere ye rise!

Dan Fortier with:
San Diego council bans the word 'minority' =
Go, idiot clowns ! Order "humanity" ban since?
Racism in doubt, saying "non-white-colored".
Who cannot use, clod? "Bring me in!" I'd say; "Riot!"

Jon Gearhart with:
Inspirational message =
I'm a pleasing assertion.
Imagines it as personal.
I am posing as a listener.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The Coming Peruvian elections =
Huge complications intervene.
Launching severe competition.
Gauche, polemic interventions.
Vehement politicians urge con.
Recent, huge politicians' venom.
Gunmen here covet politicians.
Politicians vote, gunmen cheer.
Politician cover these gunmen.
Coven hunt: politicians emerge.
This coup-elegiac environment.
Coup inheritance mingles vote.
Ape men courting violence. Shit!
Slim heritage? Convenient coup?
Violence is an echoing trumpet.
Men courting violence shape it.
Even coherent politicians mug.
Neolithic government auspice.
A heinous, ecliptic government.

Tom Myers with:
Feeling morose =
Smile foregone.
Lonesome, grief.
Is no glee for me.
Sore - life no gem.
O! One feels grim?

Rick Rothstein with:
Andrea Thompson =
Pardon the moans.
A damn hot person.
Sperm onto a hand.


1st - James H. Young with:


2nd - David Bourke with:
Mambo No 5 - Lou Bega


3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Spamagram: The Raven


David Bourke with:
I Like Chinese


Richard Brodie with:
Top ten things that are dirty in golf but aren't: =
Great girly bed/turf shit, not that inapt, on net.

Nuts! my shaft is bent. =
Bust hymens, tit fans.

After eighteen holes I can barely walk. =
Weak? If one-year beneath the call girls!

You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. =
So, he'll cheat hourly? Take that, you lewd fucker!

Look at the size of his putter. =
Pet hookers to utilize shaft.

Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. =
Need a blow? OK dear, hurry up, do my penis as agreed to.

Mind if I join your threesome. =
Feminine herd-joy? I'm riotous!

Stand with your back turned and drop it. =
Horny drunkard pub-twats? I'd dance to it!

My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. =
O my god! Chinatown's greatest gay paradise!

Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired. =
Good bonker, but such a sore, lousy after-doer. To hell with it!

Hold up! I need to wash my balls first! =
Shit flow? Lo, suds bathe manly pride.


Adrian Hickford with:
Love on the rocks


Mike Keith, Richard Brodie and Richard Grantham with:
Three simultaneous anagrams and approximate translations of the lipogrammatic poem Vocalisations by Georges Perec.


Mike Keith with:
A stanza from the poem Picthorn Manor by Amy Lowell, anagrammed into a sonnet obeying an additional constraint.


Meyran Kraus with:
Yehuda Amichai: What Kind of a Person


Tom Myers with:
Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover



This month's challenge was to anagram the first stanza of Jabberwocky into a "translation" of Carroll's nonsense original.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

1st - Mike Keith with:
He, Lewis, grabbed the vibrant role,
Assembled dreams and rhymes with glee,
But vowed that one most mighty goal:

2nd - David A. Green with:
I'm the Revd. Lutwidge Dodgson,
I wrote this inane rhyme:
Love rabbits, algebra, the hymen, small gals
Who beg a story at bedtime.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
'Twas hell: the bawdy virile boys
Rimmed virgin lemmings in a boat:
And lethal were the red-hot toys,
As the mob buggered goats.

Click here for the full list of nominations in this category.

The Anagrammy Awards