Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2002


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Christian Fundamentalist =
In truth, a mindless fanatic.

2nd - Mattias Inghe with:
Cruelty to animals =
It comes naturally.

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The petrol station =
Enter that oil-stop.

Larry Brash with:
Prescription medications =
In practice, I do not impress.

Joe Fathallah with:
Races can ruin ~
car insurance!

Mattias Inghe with:
Cute baby seals =
Yes, club a beast!

Mattias Inghe with:
Intense hydrophobia =
Born on a ship, they die.

Mattias Inghe with:
Nuclear fusion =
Rain of nucleus!

Mattias Inghe with:
Tennis =
In nets.

Mattias Inghe with:
Parental Advisory =
Valid party reason.

Jaybur with:
The threat of war =
Theatre of wrath.

Jaybur with:
The radio =
O, heard it?

Jaybur with:
Shrubbery =
Berry bush.

Jaybur with:
Warfare =
Raw fear.

Meyran Kraus with:
Behavior Modification =
Inhibitor of a mad voice.

Meyran Kraus with:
Shallow =

Meyran Kraus with:
Process of Healing =
Clear signs of hope.

Meyran Kraus with:
Can't insure it: ~
it's uncertain.

Allan Morley with:
Every man has his price =
I pay cash 'n' reverse him.

Allan Morley with:
To drop acid =
Poor addict.

Allan Morley with:
To tame a wife's ~
a waste of time!

Allan Morley with:
The meaning of life =
Feel hint of enigma.

Michael Omstead with:
Why did the chicken cross the road? =
Ditch the shoddy hen wisecrack, or...

Michael Omstead with:
One good turn deserves another =
Honest gesture? Do over, earn nod.

Paul Pan with:
Rude anagrams ~
arrange as mud.

Paul Pan with:
Light a candle =
Death calling!

Paul Pan with:
Fashion police =
Foolish in cape!

Matjaz Pihler with:
One third of a meter =
The reminder: a foot.

Matjaz Pihler with:
Web hosting =
Big net show.

Matjaz Pihler with:
Overt Net hypes =
They never stop.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
One brew =
Beer, now!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Internet Chat =
Interact, then.

Mike Torr with:
Does God play dice with the world? =
God will pry: He decides what to do.

Mike Torr with:
Closed circuit television camera ~
to cue electronic civil sadism era.

Ghud Sariffian with:
The end of the world has arrived ~
when hatred & death flood rivers.

Santi Spadaro with:
The Internet spam =
Mr "Ape" sent it, then.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Bond Girls =
Blondes, right?

2nd - Wayne Baisley with:
Playing Tetris =
Try tiles in gap.

3rd - Mike Torr with:
"It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls =
Angry lesbians rewriting hit theme.

Richard Grantham with:
Heavy metal music =
It may have muscle.

David A. Green with:
The Mystery Writers of America, Inc =
Crafty crime stories may win there.

Adrian Hickford with:
Claudio Monteverdi: Vespers =
Musical devotion preserved.

Mattias Inghe with:
Last Night of the Proms =
That simple song-froth.

Jaybur with:
Monsieur Georges Seurat =
See, I'm gorgeous as Turner!

Jaybur with:
'The Daydream' by Dante Gabriel Rossetti =
A lady, that green-robed maid, sits by tree.

Allan Morley with:
"Death of a Salesman" =
Loman's fate's ahead.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Ashanti =
Shania T.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Smile! You're on Candid Camera! =
My! American audience drools.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
'Nightmare on Elm Street' =
Relating monster theme.

Mike Torr with:
David Soul =
Odd visual.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Rolling Stones =
One troll sings.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
President Saddam Hussein =
Pinhead resists US demand.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
USA President George W. Bush =
"Super" ego gets U.S. behind war.

3rd - Allan Morley with:
The Arab-Israeli conflict =
Sharon: I'll act a bit fierce.

Joe Fathallah with:
United Nations Weapons Inspectors =
NATO war spies up tensions, I contend.

Adrian Hickford with:
The Mid-East =
Death is met.

Mattias Inghe with:
The Rolling Stones is touring =
Seniors still getting honour.

Mattias Inghe with:
USA Dream Team ~
made amateurs.

Jaybur with:
United Nations Weapons Inspectors =
An inspection: US snoopers wanted it.

Jaybur with:
Prince Harry's birthday =
HRH cries "Brandy, I party!"

Meyran Kraus with:
Yasser Arafat's compound ruined =
As foes' army surrounded captain.

Michael Omstead with:
Surgeon General's warning =
Worsens air / Lung gangrene.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Elections in Serbia =
I learn obscenities!

Mike Torr with:
Al-Qaeda's causes ~
equals a sad case.


1st - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
A long penis =
Pleasing, no?

2nd - Allan Morley with:
The striptease =
He peers at tits!

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Bums & tits =
Smut bits!

Joe Fathallah with:
I ask it in the Name of the Son of God Jesus Christ ~
to suck aniseed jam off those tits.... higher sin, no?

Myles Francis with:
Erect nipples ~
cripple teens.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Aerophagia and Intestinal Gas =
God! A real, a giant pain in the ass.

Adrian Hickford with:
Every Sperm is Sacred =
Creamy piss's revered.

Mattias Inghe with:
Striptease dancer =
Red panties caster.

Meyran Kraus with:
Gentlemen's public restroom =
I smell rectum, pee 'n' strong B.O.

Paul Pan with:
Masturbate =
Strum a beat.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
A little erotica =
A toilet article.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Rutting =
Grunt it.

Mike Torr with:
Coitus interruptus =
Cunt surprise: out it.

Ghud Sariffian with:
A pornstar =
Pants roar.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Bondage =
Gone bad.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Singer Ashanti =
In her giant ass.


1st - Larry Brash with:
From the ethnobotanical herbalists who brought the herba supplementals; Kathmandu Temple Kiff "1" & "2" "Personal-Choice", pipe-smoking products/substances to the common market!!!

We are finally able to offer for your "Sensitive/Responsive", "Personal Choice" Smoking Enjoyment.the "Seventh Heaven" Temple "3" Ragga Dagga™ Pipe-Smoking Substance Supplemental Product. Introduced after three years of research and development; Temple "3" is "Personal Choice" legal Smoking/Indulgence.Redefined!!!

Thanks to recent, dramatic, technological advances in the laboratorial processes for the extraction of alkaloid and glycocide supplements from botanicals/herbas/plant matter, we are now able to offer. in more cultivated/enhanced/viripotent/substantiated format.what had actually already been the most significant, lawful, "Personal Choice" smoking substance available on the planet. "Seventh Heaven" Temple "3" Ragga Dagga™ is the sweet, sweet evolution of all of that.


To all Bob Marley Wannabes and white Weekend Rastafarians who want to smoke pot and avoid charges from members of the State Police Department, huge long jail sentences, the menace of random urine drug tests back at work, AND appear very cool and clever to your friends , then here's that ultimate product, the thing for you.

Looks like dope, smells like dope, tastes like dope, even makes you cough like dope, but, in fact, you'll never ever get stoned. It happens to be a complete placebo with little or no sedative effects. Might as well be inhaling grass clippings, common catnip, tea, or animal's crap for all it'll ever do. Can't get a bhang from this cheap stuff. Call it a complete cannabis sativa substitute, stone-free sham marihuana, no-high hash, non-commercial-strength common hemp. No examples of active tetrahydrocannabinol traces have ever been found.

The Surgeon General tells people that this flaming crap creates financial side-effects. Please, don't get burnt!


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Any build-up of old pockets of waste matter (diverticulitis) produces fermentation, putrefaction and stagnant packets of poisons and harmful bacteria (a condition of autointoxication or self-poisoning). These toxins constantly seep into the bloodstream and lymph. They eventually settle into the weakest areas of the body, then various symptoms develop and are given names according to those areas and the degree of cell degeneration.

Unfortunately the symptoms found elsewhere in the body resulting from the toxic overload in the bowel, are generally treated rather than the cause in the bowel. Even if one succeeds in strengthening the weak area or suppressing the symptom, the toxic flow from the bowel will simply find another weak area to break through.

As Dr. Jensen puts it, "Every tissue is fed by the blood, which is supplied by the bowel. When the bowel is dirty, the blood is dirty and so on to the organs and tissues." Parasite heaven.....a dirty, unhealthy intestinal tract.


Hello, kind sender!

I've found the e-mail you dropped down my inbox. Many thanks! Its text grabbed my attention so, that I read it at the dinner-table to the wife and son. Unfortunately, it damaged their appetite a bit; In fact, the wife has lost control of her sanity, and the son's long gone.
Now, at the risk of sounding petty, or even tactless, here are a few general, unresolved issues concerning your letter:

1. Is the poop terminology supposed to coax us into buying something? I'm afraid I rarely catch up with the current 'web' fashions, so you'll have to help me out here. Aren't leads as "You may have won the lottery" more inviting than a review of fecal problems?

2. Is this the same Dr. Jensen that posted me about his "Powerful Diet Pills" only ten days ago? Or the "Advanced Penis Stretcher", two weeks back?

3. Do tell, are you by any chance related to DeepDrillsPrincess, that sent me that brief fable of an obsession with the scent of colons? I'd love to see how it turns out.

Fascinated, but a tad perplexed,
H. Kissinger


3rd - Mike Torr with:
Easy! Use Call Safe! Rather than handing out your real phone number to someone you don't really know, get a free, anonymous, temporary number from us!

The way it works is that you go onto our website - - enter your real phone number on our 'Get a number' page, book the length of time you want it to last for and you instantly get an anonymous number you can give your cyber friends to call you on which will route through to your phone without them getting your real number until you're ready to give it to them.

Call Safe has loads of uses... Going out clubbing? Book a Call Safe number before you go out and hand that out to people you want to talk to! Want to talk to someone without their real number appearing on your phone bill? Use Call Safe!

It won't cost you a penny to get a number and the person who calls you will only pay 10p a minute! It's quick, easy, free and a lot less hassle than having to change your phone number because you've given it to the wrong person....


[We have researched this email list ourselves, and have not purchased it from a third party. We will not pass this list onto anyone else. If you wish to never hear from us again, please email with the text REMOVE in the subject line, and we are sorry for disturbing you]


Wanna stalk someone good? Here's how!

If you're unpopular and wish to remain anonymous, or just wish to poke around grubbily in female people's private affairs, please look at our site!

Worryingly, we gull German people regularly with this crap, notably those who want to relieve the monotony of solitude and get calls from so-called 'telephone sex gods' ("I phone a honey dishonestly!"). These boobs never learn that it's all bought for our huge evil profit!

These automata outnumber you cunning types, which means that we can loot and steal with no bounds.

Also, if you think you'll be anonymous, think again, idiot! We give your raw information out to tattlers with goatees, roustabouts, layabouts, youths and evil auctioneers who sell the booty.

The buoyancy of the e-market remunerates us, accentuating our inveterate fatuity. The bottom line: We grab money promptly, roughly and untruthfully!

10 (TEN!) times an hour, abhorrent young reps with unfettered access will nauseate by phoning your new number, yearning to undertake commerce....


[As for our list, it's clearly a rogue's ploy to buy our lease on new offices, as we never, ever remove anyone! Ha ha! Thorough combatting of our naughty pronouncement, by the way, can't conquer this daft manure - we operate meanly.]


Paul Pan with:
Nathalie GALLOIS domiciliée en Argentine voudrait retrouver ses enfants, Laetitia (25/02/81) et Luigi LEONARDIS (27/04/84). Aux dernières nouvelles, ils habitaient à Paris dans le secteur de Bercy. Leur père, Sauveur Mari LEONARDIS, 45 ans, possiblement travaille en tant que chauffeur. Quiconque aurait des informations à leur sujet, veuillez me contacter aux adresses ci-dessous :. o


Dear Athelina LOLIGAS,
Attileia and Guili joined the "Zen Anagrammatists' Militia", a jovial caucus of eloquent illuminated elite palindrome seers!
I demand for no ransom, as our equal cause is not personal enrichment but quixotic elite effervescence, riotous alphabet verve sutures, rare ebullient acrostics and unusual, aerie aesthetic senselessness.
Your true "ex-driver",
Rameau "Virus" REINALDOS


Matjaz Pihler with:

Dear Sir/Madam,
If you are not an American Citizen yet, you should enter now for your opportunity to win the American Green Card to live and work in the USA through the Congress approved, official American Green Card lottery program - the DV-2004 program.

Check Now if you can participate FREE!

Did you Know...
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Dear agent !
I'd want to present my cunning pro..., uh , a green card request.

I've 52... in fact - 31 years. My occupation? Ok... I'm a capt... er... a worthy young pilot, and a cockpit terro... theorizer, and I cra..., uh... fly, that is, any aircraft.

I am searching for work and I'm sure I can wreck... serve!, do good... to the benefit of US Citizens.
I need information on... uh, how to get an air map... no! a ticket , and a copy of... er... the requirements for acquiring a green card.
Why not add a blueprint update of the DC-8... er, DV-2004, too?

You are so correct to help me with formalities!

Yours sincerely,
Masao B.



1st - Richard Grantham with:
There was a sweet old couple that had been happily married for nearly forty years. The only friction in this marriage was due to the husband's habit of breaking wind every morning as he woke up. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to flood like swimming pools as she choked and gasped for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop it, but he told her that he couldn't help it. She begged him to see a specialist to see if anything could be done but he would not hear of it. He replied that it was just a natural bodily function, and then he would smirk and laugh at her as she tried to wave all the fumes away quickly with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop soon, one day he was going to "fart his guts out".

Years went by, the wife continued to suffer and the husband continued to ignore all her testy warnings about "farting his guts out" until one Christmas morning. Before dawn, the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She prepared Christmas puddings, mashed potatoes, gravy and (naturally) a turkey. While she was taking out the turkey's innards, a thought occurred to her as to how she might solve her husband's problem once and for all.


With a mischievous grin on her face, she put the raw turkey guts into a bowl and quietly went upstairs an hour before her husband would awake. While he was still sound asleep, she drew back the covers and then gently removed his jocks. She then put the guts into his underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers with a smirk and tiptoed downstairs again to finish preparing the family's main meal.

An hour or two later she heard her husband awake with his usual rectal trumpeting. This was followed by a blood-curdling cry and a sound of frantic footsteps as he ran to their bathroom. The wife couldn't control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor guffawing. After years of putting up with him she had gotten even at last.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained undies with a look of horror in his eyes. She had to bite her lip to stop herself giggling and then asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right - all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" she said.

"You always told me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these days, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in."


2nd - Larry Brash with:
Two whales, a male and a female, are swimming side by side in the ocean. Suddenly, the male spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father.

Filled with anger, he exclaims to his female companion, "That is the ship that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"

So, when they're close enough, the male said, "Why don't we swim under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship into a million pieces? That will be sweet revenge."

And the female agreed to this. So they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship, and blew enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces.

The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that sailors were floating in the ocean. The male whale was very angry and said to the female, "They're still alive, but I've got another idea. Let's swim around and gulp down all the sailors!"

The female stopped swimming, looked at her man and said, "Oh no... I agreed to the blow job but I'm NOT swallowing the seamen."


The milkman, Mr. Alan Jones, will be retiring soon. In the middle of his last round, he reaches the home of one of his oldest customers, the Goldsteins, where Mrs. Anna Goldstein welcomes him.

"Ah, come in here. Retiring, eh? Well, imagine that! I can tell you, we'll all miss you," she says. "We wanted to show some proper appreciation. We have organized a suitable Hebrew treat! And, the best one, already!"

She grabs him and drags the poor old fellow into the bedroom, strips off his clothes, and engages in the wildest, best, hot sex with him, till he's weeping. He is really amazed by her appetite.

She then hands him a brand new five-dollar note and then a bowl of nice heated chicken soup to eat. The milkman tastes it.

"Ah, please... eat it! Bon appetit!"

"Wait, Mrs. Goldstein, please wait. You are too kind. Why all of this?"

"Well, the other day, I said to that awful peasant of a husband of mine, Lew, 'Lew, dear... the milkman... he's retiring. I need an idea, please, Lew. What should we do for him?'"

"And, that tightarse, Lew, he said, 'What?! Ah, fuck him... give him five dollars!'"

"But the chicken soup? Aha, that was my idea!"


3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Nunc Dimittis


David A. Green with:
Freddie Krueger, star of 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' =
Sad freak: he gets to murder in teenage terror film.


Mike Torr with:
The four basic personality types:

1) The glass is half full.
2) The glass is half empty.
3) Half full... No! Wait! Half empty!... No, half... What was the question?
4) Hey! I ordered a cheeseburger!

    -- The Far Side, Gary Larson


How analysts separate Earthlings fully:

1) Affable, gleeful optimist.
2) Weary old half-hot pessimist.
3) Fluffy, graceless ditherer.
4) Huge, bossy Neanderthal asshole.

    -- "Hah! Quit The Chat!", Oprah Winfrey



1st - Richard Grantham with:
President Bush of the USA =
A fresh one, but he's stupid.

2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Captain James Cook =
I am ocean's top Jack!

eq.3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
Osama bin Laden =
Bad as Lenin & Mao.

eq.3rd - Jaybur with:
Lewis Carroll: The Reverend Charles Dodgson =
Oh, he's clever: records Wonderland girl's tale.

Richard Grantham with:
The supermodel Claudia Schiffer =
Pictures made of her dullish face.

David A. Green with:
The author Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse =
I wrote novel. Result promised laugh. Ha! He-He!

David A. Green with:
The disciple Judas Iscariot =
"I juiced Christ," said apostle.

David A. Green with:
Captain Lawrence (Titus) Oates =
Asleep out in Antarctic waste.

Adrian Hickford with:
The disciple Judas Iscariot =
Jesus' idiotical dispatcher.

Mattias Inghe with:
Country singer Garth Brooks =
Angry rock tutors: "He's boring!"

Jaybur with:
Monsieur Alain Prost =
Spin in motor, as a rule.

Jaybur with:
Composer Tomaso Giovanni Albinoni =
Inspiration! A man's cool, moving, oboe.

Michael Omstead with:
Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears =
Unrealistic hair! Ay, pandering breasts!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Nikolaus Gunthar Naksyzynski =
Oh, Klaus Kinski: zany, angry, nuts.

Mike Torr with:
Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill =
Iron will triumphs in me trench crisis!

Ghud Sariffian with:
Comrade Stalin =
Moral distance.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Comrade Lenin =
Main red clone.


eq.1st - David A. Green with:
The Mcafee VirusScan Professional =
Save a PC user from infection hassle.

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Department of Motor Vehicles =
Led to the improvement of cars.

3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
Persian Gulf =
A fuel spring.

Larry Brash with:
Space Invaders =
is sad, even crap!

Larry Brash with:
Commonwealth Department of Veterans' Affairs =
To compensate vets' final fear from the damn war.

Joe Fathallah with: [Restaurant chain]
Harvesters ~
serve trash.

Joe Fathallah with:
The General National Vocational Qualifications =
Call "Too unintelligent", as I have an IQ of a raincoat.

David A. Green with:
Coppertone Water Babies Sunblock Spray =
Superb! We can protect boys' bare opal skin.

David A. Green with:
Crystal Spray Body Deodorants for men =
O, persons stay dry, dry and comfortable.

David A. Green with:
The American Polygraph Association =
O, they spot a scheming paranoiac liar.

Adrian Hickford with:
London Fashion Week =
And now he looks fine.

Mattias Inghe with:
Stolichnaya =
Holy? Satanic!

Mattias Inghe with:
San Andreas Fault ~
's natural and safe.

Jaybur with:
Regal Hotels =
Large hostel.

Jaybur with:
The National Association of Master Bakers =
A British toast: one nation's ace loaf-makers!

Jaybur with:
The Corolla =
Hello to car!

Paul Pan with:
Grand Marnier =
Mind arranger.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Yosemite National Park =
Patrimonial to Yankees!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Great Britain =
Tag: Rain tribe.

Mike Torr with:
Maui, one of the great Hawaiian Islands =
Surfing mania ahead - we hate isolation!

Mike Torr with: [An ale from Hampshire]
'Digger's Gold' =
Odd gigglers.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Eastern Communism =
Crimes as monument.

Santi Spadaro with:
The Hustler Magazine =
Human relish gazette.


1st - Richard Grantham with:
English Is Tough Stuff (Unpredictable Pronunciation)


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!


3rd - Paul Pan with:
How boys 'rub at meats':

Bash The Candle
Batting Practice
Beat Off
Beating The Bishop
Beating The Snake
Beating The Stick
Beating Your Meat
Being Your Own Best Friend
Boppin' Your Bologna
Box The Jesuit
Burping The Worm
Butter Your Corn
Changing Your Oil
Choke Kojak
Chugging 'N' Hugging The Felicific Rooster
Clubbing The Uninhibited Collie
Draining The Mirthful Moose
Entertaining The Cunning Tidbit
Fiddling The Gigantic Guitar
Fist Curriculum
Flogging 'N' Drilling The Tittering Caribou
Flogging The Dilettantish Grouse
Frugal Auto-Copulation
Fulfilling Bubba
Gagging The Long Vivid Reptile
Gagging 'N' Grilling The Itching Terrier Bitch
Levitating The Amphibian Prick
Liquidating The Gleeful Sardine
Meeting Oneself Ltd.
Mutating The Cheering Poodle
Peel The Carrot
Pitching The Uninhibited Serpent
Playing With Dick
Playing With Susi Palmer And Her Five Friends
Polishing The Chrome Dome
Polishing Your Bayonet
Polishing Your Helmet
Popping The Purple Pimple
Pugging The Libidinal Mastiff
Punchin' The Munchkin
Ropin' The Long Horn
Roughing Up The Suspect
Rounding Up The Tadpoles
Scraping Your Carrot
Scratching The Itch
Seasonin' Your Meat
Self Love
Shaking Hands With Abe Lincoln
Shaking Hands With The Governor
Shaking Hands With The Unemployed
Shifting Gears
Shine Your Pole
Shining The Helmet
Slam The Hammer
Slap My Happy Sacks
Slapping The Cyclops
Smacking Your Sister
Spank The Frank
Spank Your Monkey
Squeezing The Burrito
Staff Meeting
Stir The Soup
Stroking Your Giggling Goat
Tame The Wild Hog
Tease The Weasel
Tenderise The Meat
Threading A Needle
Throwin' Down
Tickle The Elmo
Tiffing 'N' Miffing Mr Griffin
Toss Off 'N' Gnarl
Toss The Boss
Toting The Invincible Viper
Tug Of War With Cyclops
Tugging The Enchanted Beagle
Tugging Your Tapioka Tube
Tugging Your Toobsteak
Tuning The Antenna
Turning Japanese
Tussle With Your Muscle
Unwrapping The Pepperoni
Vacillating The Gargantuan Drill
Varnishing The Titanic Cane
Whipping The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel
Winding The Jack In The Box


How girls 'strum a beat':

A Night In With The Girls
Airing The Orchid
Auditioning The Finger Puppets
Beat The Beaver
Beating Around The Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Buff The Weasel
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Tongue
Checking For Squirrels
Clam Bake For One
Cleaning Your Fingers
Coming Into Your Own
Countering Cunts
Cunt Cuddling
Dialing The Rotary Phone
Digging A Trench
Doing Your Nails
Dousing The Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging In Safe Sex
Erasing The Problem
Fanning The Fur
Feeding The Bearded Clam
Feeding Your Slot
Fiddling The Bean
Finger Blasting
Flickin' The Bean
Flit Your Clit
Fucking Without Complications
Gagging The Clam
Gagging The Lips Of Love
Genital Stimulation Via Phalangetic
Get A Date With Slick Mittens
Get A Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Greasing Your Hips
Grissle Rub
Groping The Grotto
Having Sex With Someone You Love
Hee-Haw With Wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking To Heaven
Hitchhiking Under The Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let The Fingers Do The Walkin'
Lube Job
Making Soup
Manual Override
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling The Void
Paddling The Pink Canoe
Pampering The Pussy
Parting The Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet The Petunia
Pet The Pussy Cat
Play Couch Hockey For One
Play Poker
Play The Clitar
Play The Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing With Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With The Man In The Boat
Polishing The Nugget
Polishing The Peanut
Polishing The Pearl
Pushing The Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding The Unicycle
Rolling The Dough
Rubbin' The Nubbin
Rubbing The Donut
Rubbing The Red Pussycat
Scoring The Hoop
Soaking The Whisker Biscuit
Spearing The Bearded Clam
Squeeze The Peach
Strumming The Banjo
Surfing The Channel
Teasing The Kitty
Teasing The Tuna Taco
Testing The Plumbing
Three Point Shot
Tickling The Taco
Tiptoe Through The Twolips
Toggling The Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Trolling The Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing Your Fingers
Wooing in my Crouton


Joe Fathallah with:
Writing To Reach You


David A. Green with:
Robert Earl Hughes, the heaviest man in the world =
Truth is, he's all rear-end, an over-weight behemoth.

Robert Wadlow, the tallest man in the world =
Oh well Mr, bet he won't want a ladder or stilt.

Gul Mohammed, the smallest man in the world =
Well then lad, am short human/midget Moslem.

Maude Farris-Luse, the oldest woman in the world =
This meant wee old-timer was a full hundred or so.

Lina Medina, the world's youngest mother =
Re: tiny little underaged mom who has son.

Robson Walton, the richest man in the world =
Shrewd merchant has billion or two nett, no?

Alan Myatt, the loudest town crier in the world =
My, what a din! The content will torture old ears.

Borley Rectory: The Most Haunted House in England =
Many a ghostly-old encounter bothered us in there.


Mattias Inghe with:
[Dear Penthouse (A rude short story)]

Intercourse: > Sincere tour.

The courtship: > Rush the topic!
- Spotted her in the bar, > her top hinted breast.
- She smiled at me and came over, > her model-ass made men active.

The seduction: > It needs touch.
- Smooth-talking, > moonlight task.
- Serenades, romantic > and are most sincere.

The foreplay: > Oh feel-party!
- I grab her tits, > right, it's bare.
- She grabs my groin, > my big organ's hers.

The intercourse: > Insert, cheer out!
- My genitals > gently aims.
- Her genitals > is then large.

The orgasms: > Those 'grams. :)
- So, mating her > I then orgasm.
- Finally, she orgasms > as she formally sing.

The afterglow: > Who felt great?
- Exhausted, I collapse. > "A sexual epic!", she told.
- Adored while bang, I try to ensure > "You weren't so bad either, darling."

The aftermath: > That far theme.
- She leaves early in the morning. > This girl only seem near heaven.
- I never saw her again. > Ha, I even rang, I swear!


Michael Omstead with:
[My friends Graham and Anna seem to shoot down every idea I come up with. Last night, for instance, I tried convincing them to go out to dinner but they always turned my words back on me...]

[Mike:] "Let's go for Chinese dim sum."
[Anna:] "Hostile MSG use confirmed."

[Mike:] "Why not the Mexican restaurant?"
[Graham:] "What hot, unsanitary excrement!"

[Mike:] "Could we try the Italian trattoria, perhaps?"
[Graham:] "Trip to rural eatery?"
[Anna:] "Hate cold pasta within!"

[Mike:] "How about cheeseburgers and french fries?"
[Anna:] "Franchise grub? No!"
[Graham:] "Whoa there, beef's cursed!"

[Mike:] "And the sushi bar?"
[Graham:] "Snared bait."
[Anna:] "Hush!"

[Needless to say... we finally settled... for pizza... @_@ (which they couldn't anagram, I can only assume).]


Paul Pan with:
Eclipse (Roger Waters)


Mike Torr with:
A Song Of The Weather


Santi Spadaro with:
This is just to say


Santi Spadaro with:


The Anagrammy Awards