NOVEMBER 2002 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2002


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
The womaniser =
It's how men are...

2nd - Allan Morley with:
Practise what you preach =
Chap was a true hypocrite.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Last-Minute =
Nuts! I'm late.

Larry Brash with:
Bottle of snake oil =
Eaten to bilk fools.

Larry Brash with:
Universally =
Very in-us-all.

Larry Brash with:
Antidepressant =
Treats, ends pain.

Richard Brodie with:
As the twig is bent, so grows the tree =
See the wrong bias the twisters got.

Joe Fathallah with:
Last meal =
Malt ales!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The mousetrap ~
upset rat home.

Richard Grantham with:
Persuasion =
Or, "use a spin".

Richard Grantham with:
Communist takeovers =
More Muscovite tanks.

Richard Grantham with:
An abortion =
No to a bairn.

Richard Grantham with:
The believer is happy; the doubter is wise. =
Pious Hebrew is blithe; atheist, very deep.

Richard Grantham with:
The gravestones =
Venerate ghosts.

Richard Grantham with:
A pitbull terrier =
Brute, it'll rip ear.

Richard Grantham with:
To break the glass ceiling =
Girls beneath it lack egos.

Richard Grantham with:
Deacon is ~
diocesan.

Richard Grantham with:
Jihad =
Hadji.

David A. Green with:
Crime scene photographs =
Gore, chap's corpse in them.

David A. Green with:
The American Pit Bull Terrier =
The cur, it'll re-bite repairman!

Adrian Hickford with:
Complicatedness =
Concepts mislead.

Adrian Hickford with:
Theatre director =
The retired actor.

Mattias Inghe with:
Defenestration =
End, if on a street.

Mattias Inghe with:
A crash test dummy =
Set cam, harm, study.

Mattias Inghe with:
Alzheimer's disease ~
is a remediless haze.

Mattias Inghe with:
Steak and fries =
Is fat and reeks.

Mattias Inghe with:
Allah =
Halal.

Jaybur with:
An emperor =
Roman peer.

Jaybur with:
The faithless woman =
O, left what's-his-name!

Jaybur with:
Regina =
A reign.

Jaybur with:
Prolonged rainfall =
I'll plan roofgarden!

Jaybur with:
Thumbnails =
Album hints.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Signs of War =
A fight worsens.

Dean Mayer with:
A nice pair of legs =
Ergo, face is plain.

Dean Mayer with:
Pleasant surprise =
Appears in results.

Allan Morley with:
Falling asleep at the wheel =
Fatal when I allege he slept.

Allan Morley with:
Womaniser =
Or, "wise man".

Michael Omstead with:
Bumper Stickers =
Premise: truck B.S.

Paul Pan with:
Sicilian auntie? =
Italian cuisine!

Matjaz Pihler with:
Losing faith =
O, things fail.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The weaponry =
They open war.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Diplomatic relations =
Traditional polemics.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Islamic fundamentalism =
I'm a mindless, manic fault.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Marital society =
A reality sitcom.

Ghud Sariffian with:
One night stand =
Testing on hand.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - David A. Green with:
'Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones' =
As art, it's a shit piece of adolescent work.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Chamber Orchestras =
Restore Bach's charm.

3rd - Jaybur with:
William Shakespeare's tragic 'Venus and Adonis' =
Alas, tears! Spurning a wan, lovesick maid, he dies.

Mavourneen Arndt with:
Hair: The American Tribal Love Musical =
Uh... a manic, over-theatrical liberalism.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Some dire raven ~
said 'nevermore.'

Scott Gardner with:
The Baltimore Orioles =
I lose to horrible team!

David A. Green with:
The English crime writer Ruth Rendell =
Cheer her thrilling new murder titles.

David A. Green with:
Who wants to be a Millionaire? =
Me! I beat all to win show on air.

David A. Green with:
Agatha Christie's play 'The Mousetrap' =
Rat? Oh, cheese apparatus might slay it!

Elissa Hoagland with:
Dr. Kurt Vonnegut's first, "The Player Piano" =
Poignant novel sparked fury, tries truth.

Elissa Hoagland with:
Rolling Stones' "Forty Licks" =
Listen to frilly rock songs.

Mattias Inghe with:
The movie industry =
Youth-driven times.

Jaybur with:
The singer Miss Niomi Daley =
I'm Dynamite: so is her single!

Jaybur with:
The rain it raineth every day (Twelfth Night) =
Then find the wet earth irritatingly heavy!

Paul Pan with:
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones =
That ol' geezer and a chic sensual dame join.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The singer Kurt Cobain =
Better rock in anguish.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Sherlock Holmes (and Dr.Watson) =
He rocks (and worthless old man).

Ghud Sariffian with:
Red Dragon =
Darn gored.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Piano player =
Play in opera.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Ghud Sariffian with:
The fasting period Ramadan =
Adopt this arranged famine.

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Saddam accepts UN resolution =
Do a mass destruction cleanup.

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The UN Weapons Inspectors =
We search opponent's units.

Richard Brodie with:
House Democrat Nancy Pelosi =
Lady's seen to come up on chair.

Richard Brodie with:
Bin Laden tells the US: "Convert to Islam, or die!" =
Shove it! Sit on camel turd, insane troll. Bleed!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Spanish oil spill =
So, an ill ship slip.

Richard Grantham with:
Weapons of mass destruction =
No sweat, drop 'em on fascist U.S.

Mattias Inghe with:
Terrorism plans for the London Subways unveiled =
Revolutionary rants unfolds? Simple, where's Bond?

Mattias Inghe with:
New cure for Parkinson's =
Repairs unknown forces.

Jaybur with:
The oil tanker 'Prestige' =
The point is, regret leak.

Paul Pan with:
Michael Jackson Dangles Boy From The Fourth Floor =
Gory amok: Father M.J. confuses the child for balloon.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Miss World in Nigeria =
Mad religion wins, sir!

Santi Spadaro with:
Etna's volcano =
Connotes lava.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Dean Mayer with:
Husband and wife =
Fun was had in bed.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Child molester =
Old Mister Lech.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Blonde-haired =
Laid on her bed!

Larry Brash with:
Large box of tissues =
Uses a big lot for sex.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Penis massage =
Semen as I gasp!

Mattias Inghe with:
The basic human rights =
Must hire 'n' shag a bitch.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Sperm count =
Cums per ton?


THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Don't get left behind. Don't let your computer go to waste. With *FREE* computer learning from Video Professor, you can get the skills you need to succeed. Whether you need office skills to get a new job or promotion, or simply want to help the kids with their homework or organize the family budget, Video Professor has the lesson just for you.

It's FAST! You'll be up-and-running in an hour or less! Don't waste time sifting through those big, thick manuals. Commuting to classes or seminars is a waste of your time and money. Just pop in the CD-ROM and you're learning! It's EASY!

=

Do you feel ridiculously idiotic? Do friends often name you 'That Moron'? Then you MUST visit the Forrest Gump School for Slack-Jawed Yokels!!!

Only HERE can the young twits and idiots:
* Get straw-chewing tips!
* Sign for the groundbreaking 'Hi, My Name Is Forrest Gump, People Call Me Forrest Gump' seminar!
* Be a part of The Forrest Gump Theatre hit-show, "When Life Gives You Lemons"!
* Wear stupid little beanies and snooze all day!

No books! No homeworks! No studying! No teeth! Join the ultimate Forrest Gump courses *TODAY* - The tuition here is just two roosters and one corn cob!!!

 

2nd - Paul Pan with:
Escort Services In China
I am the broker of many manyfantastic girls in China. Any foreigners who wants to enjoy unexpected sex escort services in China is warmly welcomed to contact me for help . As well , we have special sex trip in Dongguan designed for high upscale gentlemen. We could arrange our escort services in Dongguan, Guangzhou and Shenzhen. Contact: gionvia@hotmail.com

=

On their wedding night, Xiang, a snot-face scraggy Chinese restaurateur, invites his compact 'n' georgeous wife Jin Zan to choose what games to play. In carnal awe, she replies "Most venerable and eclectic one, me wish sixty-nine." Confused, he wonders "Mrs, your vulva desire 'n' command... the fragrant Szechuan Garlic Pork?"
Gag's non-PC climax:
How often do "elections" occur in China?
"Evely molning"!

 

3rd - Pedt Scragg with:
Do you want Financial Freedom?
Do you want to Save Money on advertising?

Are you ready to use the techniques that have been used by Master Internet Marketers over the last 5 years to sell hundreds of thousands of dollars in products and services?

Then Proven Internet Marketing Techniques is the book you need to read immediately. In it you will be shown exactly what the Masters do and how they do it to Guarantee them Results....................
http://www.pureprofit.co.za

Enjoy,

Carlos
PureProfit

=

Right. Are you listening carefully? Try this.

I am an undeterred purveyor of an overstressed way you can have money off the Internet which I think is clever but is a dreaded, dratted, scam.

So what happens next? You've requested a book from me at my attendant cost - those dollars I demand as dosh on a web page. Now, what are you sure happens now?

Correct! It will then tell you to squeeze money in turn from your own, adjusted, site on the internet, to tell those 5 persuaded to visit, the book's "it".

 


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2001 Winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

=

Here is that same rather witty idea applied instead to a series of renowned artworks, essential texts, movies and so on:

The Moana Lisa: Italian painting of a cute lady with an enigmatic pout.

The Drapes of Wrath: A destitute family that seeks an easy fortune in a Californian curtain factory, only to have their dreams shattered.

Lord of the Fries: 100 shipwrecked teenage McDonald's employees instantly deteriorate into nasty savagery in their uncivilized struggle to be made Ronald.

The "Erotica" Symphony: Beethoven's truly stirring salute to Napoleon's thoroughly kinky sexual exploits.

Moby Duck: A gritty warrior on the high seas hunting for the great white mallard.

Finnegans Cake: Witty, highly original stream-of-consciousness book of labyrinthine internal speculation about a petit four.

Se2en: Idiosyncratic serial killer is apprehended, sentenced and put away before he gets going properly.

Unflowers: Van Gogh painting of a totally bare vase.

Lice in Wonderland: The White Rabbit is found to be hideously infested and has to be put down.

 

2nd - Paul Pan with:
Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2001 Winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

=

"The Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Gunsmiths": Adam Smith & Wesson spearhead the foundations of armaments. Resolves all inside hard issues pertaining to yataghans and bayonets.

"Star Revolutions": Gyorgy Lucas' opus portrays the defiant struggle against intergalactic imperialism; he deplores the exploitation of the inept by the inapt and vice versa.

"The Elephant Thief": Indian Vittorio de Sikh's weepy fifties B&W Hindu Bollywood allegory.

"A Critic of Kryptonian Reason": Clark Kant's über-being planetary guide to aid the ailing Free World.

"Uncle Godot's Cabin": Daring Samuel Becket Stowe wrote an offhand, irrational and zany report on slavery.

"Kim il Song": Chick Korea's noteworthy if untuneful two-penny operetta. He hails an inane tribute to the late deified hood. Yawn.

"Twelve Little Disciples" Erudite Agatha Christo's heathenish religious idea allegory.

"Tom Soya": Mark Taiwan's witty reflection defended oriental gluttony.

"Auction on the Orient Express": An extraordinary note penned by Sotheby Christie, master of mystery bargains.

 

3rd - Allan Morley with:
Hickory dickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down.
Hickory dickory dock.
=
Kinky cockroach skulked up chronometer.
So why did kinky cockroach scuttle?
Theory: chronometer did cuckoo!

 

Larry Brash with:
Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor =
Mr. Balding Prince hails the Goon Show: "Utter rapture!"

 

Larry Brash with:
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, and December =
Mere months, before any Julian year crap ever occurred, just jumbled up by a brute anagram by me.

 

Richard Brodie with:
Once more inspectors look for Iraq's hidden nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons of mass destruction. =
Saddam shown America's choices: quell atomic terror; lock DNA labs; close poison refining - produce none of it.

 

Richard Brodie with:
George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln. =
Carved images, an elegant showing forth of honor to major noble, honest leaders.

 

Richard Brodie with:
Say "Fuck" a hundred times to a lousy beat and become an instant millionaire. =
Make a fortune by your no-talent shit? I, Osama bin Laden, claim: U.S. is decadent!

 

David A. Green with:
'Remembrance of Things Past' (Volume One) by Marcel Proust =
Maps out a most superb French novel celebrating memory.

 

David A. Green with:
Myra Hindley and Ian Brady, the infamous Moors Murderers =
They buried remains of so many in mud or dreary marshland.

 

Zoran Radisavlevic with: [A famous pi mnemonic: HOW=3, I=1, NEED=4 etc.]
How I need a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy chapters involving quantum mechanics! =
In hangover, I'll have to check very famous and arch quote which contains fourteen PI decimals!

 

Pedt Scragg with:
The Inland Revenue Tax Credit Officers do data capture off paper forms =
Staff have noted peculiar defaced format. Screen error: adopt input fix.

 


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Mattias Inghe with:
Age should claim ~
Michael Douglas.

2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
US grandmaster Robert James Fischer =
Surrender after major chess gambits.

3rd - David A. Green with:
The natural history filmmaker David Attenborough =
Rather adored in the UK for my light TV about animals.

Joe Fathallah with:
Richard Branson =
Baron's darn rich!

Mattias Inghe with:
Sigmund Freud =
Fumed in drugs.

Meyran Kraus with:
Famous Dance-Singer Cher =
Surgeons mend a rich face.

Jaybur with:
Giuseppe Orlandini =
PS: I indulge in opera.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Miss Elissa Ayres Hoagland =
She does silly anagrams as I!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Milos Forman =
A moron films.

Ghud Sariffian with:
Hermann Goering =
Hi, German gonner!

Ghud Sariffian with:
Linda Evangelista =
An angel vitalised.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Ghud Sariffian with:
The Chilean dictatorship =
Pinochet hit the radicals.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Auctions in 'eBay' =
I can buy on a site!

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Department of Homeland Security =
They fund, arm modern police state.

David Bourke with:
The Commonwealth of Australia =
A lot of taut women charm. ("Sheila!")

Larry Brash with:
Diet Pepsi Cola =
Ice soda tipple.

Larry Brash with:
Practical Extracting and Reporting Language =
Placing a recurring text tract and log in a page.

Joe Fathallah with:
The American Homeland Security Department =
That "elected" murderer man (no, machine!) pays it.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Baltimore Orioles =
So reliable to homer it.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The New Homeland Security Department =
President-led men that watch our enemy.

Scott Gardner with:
The United Nations =
Hated U.S. intention.

Scott Gardner with:
Department of Homeland Security =
Senate policy: damn freedom, truth.

Scott Gardner with:
Yosemite National Park =
Neat, moonlit, airy peaks.

David A. Green with:
The British Medical Acupuncture Society =
Ouch, my sciatic hip... but needle art cures it!

David A. Green with:
The National Association of Chimney Sweeps =
In my opinion a waif cleans the ashes, soot, etc.

David A. Green with:
The Hutchinson-Gilford Progeria Syndrome =
Torment for poor dying child: he ages in rush.

Adrian Hickford with:
Encyclopedia Britannica =
An incredible capacity, no?

Adrian Hickford with:
The Rocky Mountains =
I'm hot snake-country.

Mattias Inghe with:
Playboy models =
May boldly pose.

Jaybur with:
Great Britons =
Errant bigots.

Jaybur with:
Debtbuster Loans =
Unstable debtors.

Jaybur with:
The Toyota Corolla Verso =
Hooray! to coolest travel!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The Royal Marines =
Rash army? No, elite!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Rocky Mountains =
I'm the Yanks' contour!

Ghud Sariffian with:
The Vietnam War =
It... Whatever, man. :)

Ghud Sariffian with:
Kurdistan =
Ain't Kurd's.


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
A paraphrase of the 23rd Psalm in which each line is an anagram, constructed such that the six lines may be assembled into a symbol associated with the psalm's author.

 

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A verse of a poem by Oscar Wilde, anagrammed into a paraphrase which is also an acrostic square on the author's name.

 

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Chopping Carrots by Jack Cannon

 

Richard Brodie with:
Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships

 

Joe Fathallah with:
Fire and Ice

 

Richard Grantham with:
[A famous mnemonic for the digits of pi (HOW=3, I=1, NEED=4 etc.), anagrammed into another pi mnemonic.]

How I need a drink, alcoholic in nature, after the heavy chapters involving quantum mechanics.
=
"Hah!" I roar. "I never calculate pi, having known the shady, half-cute, contrived, antique mnemonics!"

 

Jaybur with:
The Mother

 


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