Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2004


1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Week ashore =
Seek a whore!

eq.2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
Enemy combatant =
Cannot be my team!

eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Eyes naturally show ~
she really wants you.

David Bourke with:
The minor pentatonic scale =
The main 'Eric Clapton' notes.

David Bourke with:
The performing seals =
Ample fish, no regrets.

Larry Brash with:
Manila folders =
filed as normal.

Richard Brodie with:
Insider stock trading ~
risks danger to indict.

Tony Crafter with:
Deliverymen =
My! Never idle.

Tony Crafter with:
The art of glassblowing =
Final growth as goblets.

Tony Crafter with:
The star sign Scorpio =
Gosh! Artistic person.

Tony Crafter with:
Reflexology therapists =
Grisly foot-heal experts.

Tony Crafter with:
Leggy female is in ~
a flimsy negligee.

Chris Doyle with:
Megalomania =
A main goal: ME!

Chris Doyle with:
Mixed metaphor =
Pothered maxim.

Chris Doyle with:
A closet homosexual =
Alex Sol has come out!

Chris Doyle with:
Fashion plate =
He's a Latin fop.

Chris Doyle with:
A breach of promise =
A fib some reproach.

Chris Doyle with:
The lunatic fringes =
Left/right nuisance.

Don P. Fortier with:
Clean water =
Create lawn.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Heart operations =
Open their aortas.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The end result of a democracy =
Country formed elects a head.

Toby Gottfried with:
A personal computer =
So rent our Apple Mac.

Toby Gottfried with:
Oceanographer's ~
chap on sea? Roger!

Richard Grantham with:
An antiroyalist =
Rational sanity.

Richard Grantham with:
Corporal punishment =
Crop hurtin' one's palm.

Richard Grantham with:
The bible bashers =
This sheer babble.

Richard Grantham with:
An anti-depressant =
End pain, start sane!

Richard Grantham with:
The tabloid newspapers =
Need it to help wrap bass.

Richard Grantham with:
A little learning is a dangerous thing =
Thus, enlarging range in total is ideal.

Richard Grantham with:
An inferiority complex =
I'm in a corner, I felt poxy.

Richard Grantham with:
A dendrophile =
Hold pine dear.

Richard Grantham with:
Adult videos
Avoided lust.

Richard Grantham with:
To starve in a garret =
Artist near to grave.

Richard Grantham with:
Blood is thicker than water =
Stick with brother on a deal.

Richard Grantham with:
A man of letters =
Talent for same.

Richard Grantham with:
Poker machine =
Make rich? Nope.

Richard Grantham with:
The World Champions =
Hold teamship crown.

Richard Grantham with:
Corruption =
Cop run riot.

Adrian Hickford with:
Sees lard-arse eat ~
a Sara Lee dessert.

Meyran Kraus with:
Self-manicure =
Scum-free nail.

Jaybur with:
The seller of shoes =
Here's lots of heels.

Jaybur with:
Light on one's feet =
Toes feel nothing.

Paul Lusch with:
The archbishop =
Botch parish, eh?

Paul Lusch with:
Funeral home =
Moanful here.

Paul Pan with:
Male bonding =
Goal: men bind.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
No canister.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Heroic poems =
O, Homer's epic!

rainwalker with:
Pentatonic scale
I cancel apt notes.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Bridge constructions =
Contributed crossing.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
the Desoxyribonucleic Acid =
Helix obscurity: I coded acne!

Rick Rothstein with:
Rebates ~
are best.

Rick Rothstein with:
Shore Leave =
A love's here.

Rick Rothstein with:
Celibate priests =
It is respectable.

Rick Rothstein with:
Medical Examiners ~
exclaimed, "Remains!"

Rick Rothstein with:
A bright, sunny day =
Bury anything sad.

Rick Rothstein with:
Suspension bridge =
So superb in design.

Rick Rothstein with:
Tougher's ~

Rick Rothstein with:
Political parties =
Capitol is at peril.

Christopher Sturdy with:
A ban on smacking the children =
Kids' nigh-on carte blanche, man.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Tyrannosaurus Rex
Ra! Ra! Turn us on, sexy!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Twins separated at birth =
The sad pair wasn't bitter.

Christopher Sturdy with:
One, two, skip a few ninety-nine a hundred ~
intends to find one runaway when I peek.


1st - Jaybur with:
The new SPIDERMAN movie =
Made with even MORE spin!

2nd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
And now to something completely different... =
Python-crew's genial motto often ended film.

3rd - Chris Doyle with:
Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show" =
Hard news -- with a sly jest, too.

David Bourke with:
"Is She Really Going Out With Him?" =
Is this the new guy? Gorilla, IMHO.

David Bourke with:
The American cyclist Lance Edwards Armstrong =
Castrated cancer man. (Smiling date: Sheryl Crow).

Larry Brash with:
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy =
Get her! For us, they're quite gay!

Larry Brash with:
Python team men offer following end credits: ~
"And now for something completely different."

Tony Crafter with:
Former hit: 'Let's face The Music And Dance' =
Hmm! Fine schedule - contact Fred Astaire!

Tony Crafter with:
'I Didn't Mean To Turn You On' =
Amount to dirty innuendo?

Jesse Frankovich with:
"Spider-Man" with Tobey Maguire =
A made-up stringy-web hero? I'm it.

J.J. Gertler with:
The Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece =
Matchless iron men use epic gym there.

Toby Gottfried with:
"The hills are alive with the sound of music" =
With such volume, noise filter aids health.

Richard Grantham with:
"Toward the Sea" =
Heads to water.

Richard Grantham with:
Waiting for Godot =
O, two going adrift.

Richard Grantham with:
"Land of Hope and Glory" =
Oh, do play for England!

Richard Grantham with:
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith =
Go see a tripe finish to series with Vader.

David A. Green with:
The famous Norwegian singer Morten Harket =
Few Northern mouths making a greater noise.

Meyran Kraus with:
'The Girl from Ipanema' (the keyboard version) =
Hark - a hit is being performed on my elevator!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
A Penthouse Centrefold =
Feature! (PS: none clothed!)

Hans-Peter Reich with:
And now for something completely different... =
Python crew's off-motto ended film in general.

Christopher Sturdy with:
David Hasselhoff is to play Billy Flynn in Chicago =
cash-only legal son-of-a-bitch, iffy PD, dishy villain.

Christopher Sturdy with:
'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' - Sacha Distel =
Teardrops falling cos I'm dead. Help. Any Hankies?

View with:
'Something' =
I'm THE song.

Alan Yoshioka with:
"A Streetcar Named Desire" by Tennessee Williams =
Me, I wince as Stanley berates elder sister and me.


1st - Chris Doyle with:
The former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay is indicted =
Nice! "Felony" is the one market he didn't corner.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Drugs in athletics =
Suicidal strength.

3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Martha Stewart =
"Rats! What a term."

David Bourke with:
Angelos Charisteas =
Rise... snatches a goal!

David Bourke with:
The Australian surfer Bradley Adrian Smith =
A brutal end is truly rare: A darn fish eats him!

Larry Brash with:
The Australian Olympic team =
I tip that many a laurel comes.

Richard Brodie with:
The election campaign for President =
Again the inept clods perform, entice.

Tony Crafter with:
The British Olympics team =
Rich optimism by athletes.

Tony Crafter with:
Terror failure report shocks Americans =
Tom Kean rules: 'First reproach CIA errors.'

Tony Crafter with:
The American Olympic team =
I'm a mere athletic company.

Chris Doyle with:
The great actor Marlon Brando dies =
A bright star made art: Don Corleone.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The trial of Saddam Hussein =
Hasten his dour, dismal fate!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The basics of US intelligence reform =
For reelecting Bush seems fictional...

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Palestinian suicide bombings =
Blast 'em into pieces hiding in a bus!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The best American cycling pro, Lance Armstrong =
Cancer matters gone, carry on climbing the Alps.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Wall Street brokerage companies =
We bargain, sell more stock, repeat.

J.J. Gertler with:
I'm convinced that not one oration beat a Clinton's ~
at the Democratic National Convention in Boston.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Trial of Saddam Hussein =
Death's ahead for multi-sins.

Richard Grantham with:
Iraqi weapons of mass destruction =
Question of West's paranoid racism.

Richard Grantham with:
A bull in a china shop =
Oh, Bush all in a panic.

Richard Grantham with:
Palestinian suicide bombers =
And so, rabbi must lie in pieces.

Jaybur with:
France mourns Sacha Distel =
And French lose a music star.

Paul Pan with:
Otto Rehhagel =
Gloat the hero.

Rick Rothstein with:
A sound bite, ~
but no ideas.

Rick Rothstein with:
Palestinian suicide bombers: ~
"Decimate Israeli snobs in pub!"

Rick Rothstein with:
Palestinian suicide bombers ~
creep on bus; aim is... die in blast.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Greece beats Portugal one-nil =
Goal sent Europe celebrating.

Alan Yoshioka with:
Canada Day fireworks show =
And afar we saw kids cry, "Ooh!"


1st - Larry Brash with:
The actor Marlon Brando =
Born to act hard-man role.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The rider Lance Armstrong of Austin, Texas =
So, a man garners sixth 'Tour de France' title!

3rd - Jaybur with:
Adm. Horatio Nelson =
Oh, and I lost one arm.

David Bourke with:
The Archbishop of Westminster =
"Christ is top man of the Hebrews."

David Bourke with:
The late Marlon Brando =
Rather notable old man.

David Bourke with:
Raymond Stanley Parlour~
...or truly dopy Arsenal man?

David Bourke with:
Ex-USA President William Clinton =
Low cad: "I must explain intern lies".

David Bourke with:
Madonna (alias 'Esther') =
Same sad, inane harlot.

Tony Crafter with:
The Russian tennis player Maria Sharapova =
A hit smasher apparently, in various arenas.

Chris Doyle with:
President George Walker Bush =
Berserk, he'd line up to swagger.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Incumbent candidate George W. Bush =
Needs one dumb big war? Cut teaching!

Toby Gottfried with:
Famous Director Steven Spielberg. =
Movie elder fosters superb acting.

Richard Grantham with:
Douglas Noel Adams =
Good and amuses all.

Richard Grantham with:
Camille Saint-Saens =
Animal scenes: a list.

Richard Grantham with:
Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill =
Old nit spurns new Reich Chancellor.

Richard Grantham with:
Prime Minister Tony Blair =
Premier in Britain, mostly.

Richard Grantham with:
The US President
United the press.

Adrian Hickford with:
The Conservative Leader, Michael Howard =
A naive wee lad loved 'heroic' Mrs. Thatcher.

Meyran Kraus with:
Mafia boss Don Vito Corleone =
Soon comes to life via Brando.

Paul Pan with:
Angelos Haristeas =
Goal!!!!!!! Athens arises!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Archbishop of Westminster =
Bet he worships Christ-name oft.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Cherilyn LaPiere Sarkisian =
Repairs likely: "Raise an inch!"

Christopher Sturdy with:
Steven Patrick Morrissey =
Transcripts evoke misery.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Microsoft products =
Third of computer's cost...

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology =
They teach a lot of stunts to genius chemists.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Master of Arts =
So smart after.

David Bourke with:
Roche Accutane (Isotretinion) =
Is it *the* in cure to acne, or a con?

David Bourke with:
The Microsoft Windows operating system =
Sod competitors, if Wm. Henry Gates owns it!

Larry Brash with:
Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus =
Its culture mainly occurs in the hospital cases.

Tony Crafter with:
The John Lennon Airport =
Oh, northern plane joint.

Tony Crafter with:
The Diana Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain =
Lifts as a fine showpiece? Or a monumental drain?

Chris Doyle with:
The Actors Studio =
It hosted our cast.

Joe Fathallah with:
Lowly 'hood.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A time-test ascent over the Alps suited ~
The United States Postal Service Team.

Scott Gardner with:
The Child Online Protection Act =
Oh, need to catch illicit net porn.

J.J. Gertler with:
Apple Macintosh(R) computers ~
compromise the Sun claptrap.

Richard Grantham with:
Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti =
My brazen Soviet unit's got asked to snoop.

Richard Grantham with:
Bailey's Irish Cream =
Rich? Miserable, I say.

David A. Green with:
The Hampshire Model Flying Association ~
loft home-made planes so high in city's air.

Adrian Hickford with:
Grecian Two Thousand =
And so, now get hair cut.

Jaybur with:
Cadbury's 'Timeout' =
You'd eat it: Crumbs!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Cassini Orbiter and the Huygens Space Probe =
Ship describes on each: Saturn, Titan, grey Phoebe!


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The new Bond girl in Lee Tamahori's 'Die Another Day' =
I admit, I had to see renowned Halle Berry in a thong!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Sir Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, Bill Wyman, Ron Wood and the late Brian Jones =
The Rolling Stones, who are a wrinkly, jaded, raw, animal, jetset, magic, rich, British rock band.

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Apprentice (n.): one bound by indenture to serve another for a prescribed time period, so as to learn an art or trade. =
'The Apprentice' (n.): an adored on-air contest -- observe as arbiter Donald Trump berates one poor intern: "You're fired!"

David Bourke with:
Steven Patrick Morrissey (the lead singer of 'The Smiths') =
"Votes say I'm THE depressing Manchester shirtlifter, OK?"

David Bourke with:
The International Association of Volcanology and Chemistry of the Earth's Interior =
They are interested in hot lava, infernos, stratification chronology, cool ash... I am not!

David Bourke with:
The American singer and actress Cherilyn LaPiere Sarkisian =
Rich yank star, her ass is a near-miracle in engineered plastic.

Tony Crafter with:
Somebody said that if you can remember the sixties then you weren't there. Well, it's all true! =
Why? Well... um: The Stones, tie-dye, Brit-hits, free sex (coo!), heroin (tut tut), may all breed... er... amnesia.

Tony Crafter with:
GOOD NEWS: Saddam Hussein has received death penalty. BAD NEWS: Beckham is taking it! =
Mad swine grabbed a chance. Sky's the limit, as he knew genius-to-dope David hates sand!

Tony Crafter with:
Premier Ariel Sharon defends the controversial West Bank barrier =
Israel defences help thwart risk over an insane terror-bomb raider.

Dan Fortier with:
So "That's All Right" sees a golden (Fiftieth) anniversary in July? =
Lean Elvis' shrill rendition: he sang that just fifty years ago.

Dan Fortier with:
When making a nomination, the following length restrictions will now be automatically enforced. =
"One to forty"? How can one letter be an anagram??!
I would think "small" will win fight in coming elections.

J.J. Gertler with:
Larry Brash, Richard Grantham, Tony Crafter, Meyran Kraus, Chris Doyle, David Bourke, Horrid Stretchy Pus, Paul Pan =
Merry, kindred souls hunched at PC keyboards display aberrant proclivity for tart anagrams. Cry, "Hurrah! Hurrah!"

Toby Gottfried with:
Maria Sharapova wins the Ladies' Singles at Wimbledon =
Won over that sad Serena Williams in a big media splash.

Richard Grantham with:
Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces =
Queer, brainless, arid, vulgar, casuistic, insane, parasitic, prosaic, poor, tragic, moronic auguries.

David A. Green with:
The Northern Ireland Master Butchers' Association =
In here, the rotters'd cut animals into bacon rashers.

David A. Green with:
The famous Spanish matador Manuel "El Cordobes" Benitez =
Thus hopes to defeat some mob-crazed bulls in main arena.

David A. Green with:
The Casket and Funeral Supply Association of America =
As usual, tatty cheap-priced oak coffins remain on sale.

Jaybur with:
Marriage is an institution, and that's where couples finish up (Les Dawson) =
Such a shrewd wit: this definition means nuptials also guarantee prison.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The father of the modern Olympic games, Baron Pierre de Coubertin =
To be in memory: Athens, rebirth of old Greece and triumph for peace.

Christopher Sturdy with:
I use a two, three, king (diamonds), four and ten (spades) too =
not a hand destined to win a serious game of stud poker.


1st - David Bourke with:
"I think I did something for the worst possible reason
- just because I could. I think that's the most, just
about the most morally indefensible reason that anybody
could have for doing anything. When you do something
just because you could. I've thought about it a lot.
And there are lots of more sophisticated explanations,
more complicated psychological explanations. But none
of them are an excuse. Only a fool does not look to
explain his mistakes."

- William Jefferson Clinton


I toppled Saddam Hussein "just because I could". That's
the best excuse I can think of. OK, so no major "weapons
of mass destruction" were found, exactly. Many U.S.
military innocently lost their lives to buy oil. So? I
feel Baghdad is now a safer place. No, I haven't thought
it through at all. Others did. It seems to them that the
only possible explanation's that I'm congenitally one damn
'stoopid' fool. Officially moronic in the extreme. A drunk
lunatic joke. Out soon, no job. Boo hoo!

- George Bush


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
(The original show's opening lines, as uttered by Captain Kirk)

Space... The final frontier.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.
Its five year mission:
To explore strange new worlds...
To seek out new life and new civilizations...
To boldly go where no man has gone before!


Shatner... The worst thespian.
This feeble series presents his ongoing, rash efforts to speak fiercely and emote.
His insane pronunciations:
Will agonize even hardcore Trekkies...
Will prove brains need to get oxygen to be alive...
Will draw attention away from his goofy toupee!


3rd - Jaybur with:
Last evening I was sitting at the bottom of my garden,
smoking a reflective cheroot, when I chanced to look up
at the night sky. As I gazed, I marvelled at the myriad
of stars glistening like pieces of quicksilver cast
ceaselessly on black velvet.

In awe I watched the waxen moon ride like an amber chariot
across the zenith of the heavens, towards the ebony void
of infinite space, wherein the tethered bulks of Jupiter
and Mars hung forever festooned in their orbital majesty.

And as I stared in wonderment, I thought to myself:
'I must put a roof on this outside lavatory.'


The image of a poetic individual evoked here, is just so
different from that expected of Les Dawson:
While on stage as a panto dame, trying to be dainty in a
big wig and frighteningly outsize bloomers! Or a filthy,
lascivious old man shouting: 'Knickers, Knackers, Knockers!'

No one told a better mother-in-law joke than Les. 'The day
that Mother-in-Law came to visit, the mice threw themselves
at the traps.' His distinctive humour was a hit, earthy,
yet never coarse: definitely never forgotten!

The unique face of this oversized clown, vital to his act,
resembled a bag of spanners.


Tony Crafter with:
'Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a park bench quietly; how terribly strange to be seventy. Old friends. Old friends ...' =
Quaint Simon and Garfunkle theory: Life's short. Geriatrics may probably be us one day, conversing fondly, red-eyed with tears.


Jesse Frankovich with:
His moment at hand, John Kerry claims the Democratic presidential nomination and asks Americans for the chance to build a country "stronger at home and respected in the world."
Situation: a dedicated northern Catholic man with key talents (ethics, reason, coherency, and grammar) plans on the rapid termination of the crooked Mindless Commander, Bush Jr.


J.J. Gertler with:
His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular
Oh damn, I loved Africa. I had success -- fresh ham loaf, falcons, a French jetliner, an air force. Except for the rich brain and foreleg diet, things didn't seem so bad. Until a planeload of Israelis raided my airport. Then, hell, I quit.



1st - Larry Brash with:
May I take the liberty to introduce myself as; Mr. Yeng Zang, Bank Manager of a reputable bank in Taipei, Taiwan


2nd - Richard Grantham with:


3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
If by Rudyard Kipling


David Bourke with:
Posh! (from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)


Larry Brash with:
The Church's view on porn:
A porn site ~ is one trap. ~ Aspire not ~ to spear in ~ or it's a Pen ~ (no parties). ~ Praise not ~ rape. It's "NO! ~ NO!" (A priest). ~ Prone, it's a ~ sin to rape! ~ Rape is not ~ on! Spare it! ~ A penis rot ~ is one part ~ as pointer ~ to snip. Are ~ parties on? ~ or panties ~ on a priest? ~ No, it's rape!


Richard Grantham with:
KERCHOO WAGGLES is not only an anagram of GOOGLEWHACKERS, but is itself a googlewhack (or at least it was until this page was made). It's an imperfect whack, as 'kerchoo' is not recognised by Google as a dictionary word, but it's in one of my wordlists.


Hans-Peter Reich with:
Fermat's Last Theorem...

In Simon Singh's book "Fermat's Last Theorem" the story of Andrew Wiles is laid out, who solved one of the oldest maths problems with a lot of struggling...
The following line-by-line anagram tries to re-tell the

Answers overwhelmed Fermat (details lost!)
Andrew heard of lost terms, saves time well.
He started small sweet dreams, evil for now,
"Renew worst told medieval maths, fearless!"
He derived 'almost' flawless answer to term.
After twelve month less moral was desired,
he saw editor's small draft melt, even *worse*:
A smart theorist removed flawedness well.
Old matters answered. Fame shows till ever.
Andrew Wiles solved Fermat's Last Theorem.



1st - Larry Brash with:
The Missionary Position =
So, I say, it's: "I'm in her, on top".

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
So distressing: The pain and misery of female cystitis =
My piss is a steamy needle of fire, and O Christ it stings!

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
A licensed brothel =
Behold! It's cleaner.

David Bourke with:
The Dean of St. Albans =
Fat and bent asshole.

David Bourke with:
Into idle knob-games? =
It makes one go blind.

Larry Brash with:
Windows XP Home Edition =
I'd whip into Sex Mode, now!

Tony Crafter with:
Kiss my arse =
A messy risk!

Tony Crafter with:
Having a Chinese 'election' =
Achieve nine inches. Gloat!

Tony Crafter with:
Targets enormous male dangle underneath.

Tony Crafter with:
"Is it in yet?" =
i.e., it's tiny.

Chris Doyle with:
A porn site =
Note Paris.

Chris Doyle with:
The honeymoon suite =
You. Me. Intense. Hot. OH!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Porn materials
Morals pertain.

Richard Grantham with:
Staying in the closet =
Lose the gay instinct?

Adrian Hickford with:
Her Majesty's Prison Service =
Ass-pervert enjoys his crime.

Meyran Kraus with:
Her backside =
A bird's cheek!

Rick Rothstein with:
A licensed brothel =
A blond... I select her.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Old cunt ~

Christopher Sturdy with:
Unreconstructed Thatcherite =
Such a direct, rotten cunt there.

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