Anagrammy Awards > Anagrammy Archives > 2006
1st - Rosie Perera with:
A marble statue =
Mute alabaster.
2nd - David Bourke with:
She has a nice personality =
Any acne? Halitosis? Herpes?
3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Confederate general =
Grant faced one R. E. Lee.
aussie battler with:
Lady of the night =
Handy hotel gift.
aussie battler with:
Tea-time hour =
I'm outta here!
aussie battler with:
Glorified ~
if godlier.
Larry Brash with:
Taking one's first golf lesson ~
soon grants teeing-off skills.
Larry Brash with:
A fistula ~
is a fault.
Larry Brash with:
A pathology request form =
A quest after morphology.
Tony Crafter with:
Orbiting the sun =
Burning-hot site!
Tony Crafter with:
Extremely salacious =
Sexually coarse item.
Tony Crafter with:
Salmon-pink =
Skin on palm.
Tony Crafter with:
Hospitals got ~
pathologists.
Tony Crafter with:
Alien landing =
Ali in England!
Ellie Dent with:
Earliest man =
Tree animals?
Toby Gottfried with:
The leopard cannot change its spots =
Ah! Patches - not stripes - on golden cat.
Richard Grantham with:
To damn with faint praise =
A pain from that snide wit.
Adrian Hickford with:
Computer generated images =
Pictures managed to emerge.
Meyran Kraus with:
Fumigation business =
Man in suit is bug's foe.
Meyran Kraus with:
Youngster =
"Grey? Not us!"
Meyran Kraus with:
The fumigation business =
Oh, it's bug-safe in minutes!
Meyran Kraus with:
Self-doubter =
Frets double.
Meyran Kraus with:
Oasis in the desert =
I'd ease one's thirst.
Meyran Kraus with:
Perfect heist =
Precise theft.
Dean Mayer with:
Die a slow and painful death =
I fall, pause and then I add "Ow!"
Dean Mayer with:
Drug abuser =
Absurd urge.
Rosie Perera with:
A beginner drum lesson =
Some blundering snare.
Rosie Perera with:
The cochlear implant surgery ~
shall protect & cure my hearing.
Rosie Perera with:
Cash returns are fast in ~
restaurant franchises.
Rosie Perera with:
Hip replacement surgery =
"Any regrets?" "Limp." "Cheer up!"
Rosie Perera with:
The special education instructor ~
tutors autistic children. (No peace!)
Rosie Perera with:
Old Kodachrome photographs in family albums, ~
like childhood formal group snapshot by Mama.
Rosie Perera with:
Emergency landing ~
needing clergyman.
Rosie Perera with:
The animosity =
It is my hate, no?
ofap with:
Dominatrix =
Adroit minx.
Rick Rothstein with:
"She has a nice personality." =
So, in her case, "Ain't shapely!"
Rick Rothstein with:
A state-licensed chiropractor ~
isn't a real doctor's practice, eh?
Rick Rothstein with:
Lesbian partnerships =
Hair, breasts 'n' nipples.
Christopher Sturdy with:
In-flight movies ~
give no hit films.
View with:
After nine months pregnancy =
Perfect son... nightmare nanny.
View with:
O damn he's ~
handsome!
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Rolling Stones perform a gig in China =
Oriental spot for rich, aging Englishmen.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Chaconne from Bach's Partita No 2 in D Minor for violin =
An epic solo, rich of notion, vibrant in form and charm.
3rd - David Bourke with:
The vocalist Celine Marie Claudette Dion =
Canadians love the mediocre little cutie!
Tony Crafter with:
'Face of Estee Lauder', Miss Gwyneth Paltrow =
We employed wan features of light actress.
Ellie Dent with:
Legendary Frank Sinatra =
A serenading Rat, frankly.
Richard Grantham with:
Cleveland Orchestra =
Served a concert hall.
Meyran Kraus with:
'Raging Bull' by Martin Scorsese =
Male star clobbers guys in ring.
Meyran Kraus with:
Norma Rae (Sally Field) =
Lead many for rallies.
Dean Mayer with:
Nadine Coyle =
One nice lady.
Rosie Perera with:
Herman Melville's masterpiece Moby Dick, or The Whale =
"Call me Ishmael"; men embark; they die; whole script over.
Rosie Perera with:
A Clockwork Orange (Anthony Burgess) =
Ha! Reckon can't rework gang boy's soul.
Rosie Perera with:
Aldous Leonard Huxley's masterpiece Brave New World =
Review: Ah, all were controlled by soma and pursued sex.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Sugababes =
Guess? ABBA!
Rick Rothstein with:
The acclaimed singer Gene Pitney =
Citing legend; may he rest in peace.
View with:
Actress Sienna Rose Miller =
Star in lesser cinema roles.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The American president George Walker Bush =
Gee, the liar's rating numbers drop each week!
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
The Christian Festival of Easter =
It's fantastic, for He's there, alive!
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes =
Loco mates name the kid Suri.
Amir Begovich with:
The Immigration Laws =
We maim Latino rights.
David Bourke with:
American self-interest =
Militant carefreeness.
Larry Brash with:
Iran's President, Mahoud Ahmadinejad =
I'd ensure an atom-mad jihad... and perish.
Tony Crafter with:
The Pentagon considers a nuclear strike on Iran =
A process seen uncorking international hatred
Paul Pan with:
Gospel of Judas =
Pal of Jesus? God!
Rosie Perera with:
It's the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death =
Story of that Nirvana suicide breaks then.
Rosie Perera with:
Weapons of mass destruction =
US misread foes -- can't stop now!
Rosie Perera with:
Empire State Building turns seventy-five. =
Very stunning spire feted. It must be alive.
Rick Rothstein with:
A nuclear strike? ~
Sure, tackle Iran.
View with:
Eight men found slain in Canadian farmland =
Maniac and ill gunman affair in Shedden,Ont.
1st - View with:
William Henry Gates =
Get a share in my will!
2nd - Paul Pan with:
Alan Dershowitz ~
hates Nazi world.
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte =
No mean peon -- a proper battle hero!
Amir Begovich with:
General John Abizaid =
Ban, raze Jihad legion!
David Bourke with:
Thomas Cruise =
"Suri hast come!"
Larry Brash with:
Maurice Gatsonides=
I am cursed as one git!
Larry Brash with:
Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade =
I adored lessons of the cane and pain.
Tony Crafter with:
The monarch, Eleanor of Aquitaine =
I am a French queen, a lionheart, too.
Tony Crafter with:
The 'treacherous' disciple Judas Iscariot =
Heroic ideal to aid Jesus Christ's capture?
Ellie Dent with:
General Robert E Lee =
Greet one real rebel!
Richard Grantham with:
The tenor Luciano Pavarotti =
Vocal tune in that opera trio.
Meyran Kraus with:
Elle MacPherson =
All men scope her.
Paul Pan with:
Maurice Gatsonides ~
is an aged Tom Cruise!
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara =
Savage Rhett as heroic villain.
Rick Rothstein with:
Maurice Gatsonides ~
does it using camera.
Rick Rothstein with:
The disciple Judas Iscariot ~
is paid to seduce, jail Christ.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Tony and Cherie Blair =
'No-celebrity' and 'hair'.
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The United States Postal Service =
Cost put aside, I have sent letters.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Apple iTunes Music Store =
Sale is set-up in computer.
3rd - View with:
Heathrow Airport, London =
Rain? Hop to another world!
aussie battler with:
Easter Island =
Need atlas, sir?
Tony Crafter with:
The Folsom State Prison, California =
So, to that final repose of criminals.
Meyran Kraus with:
Vatican, Rome =
I am a convert.
Meyran Kraus with:
'Big Cat Rescue' in Tampa, Florida =
It's an ideal camp for a tiger cub!
Paul Pan with:
Master of Business Administration =
Immodest snob infuriates artisans.
Rosie Perera with:
The flesh-eating disease =
I ate feet, legs, shins, head.
Rosie Perera with:
L'Arc de Triomphe, Paris =
Postcard: "I'm here -- April."
Rosie Perera with:
The Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDA), ~
meaning none should trade secrets.
Rosie Perera with:
The Pileated Woodpeckers =
Sleek, with deep red cap, too.
Rosie Perera with:
Arctic National Wildlife Refuge =
We fear acute oil drilling, in fact.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Islamic Jihads: ~
"Jail them Hasidics!"
1st - View with:
The president of the United States of America, George Walker Bush =
A gangster from the White House undertakes debate-free politics.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes name their baby Suri, supposedly the Jewish word for 'Princess' =
Maybe I should interject (as I speak Hebrew): I fear there's simply NO such word, stupid morons!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Yes, Las Vegas has many varieties of gambling ideas, like, dice, roulette wheels, slot machines and, er, wedding chapels.=
Alf married Melissa in Vegas. He decided that, being deep in successive losing streaks, he may as well go on all the way!
David Bourke with:
Maurice Gatsonides, the inventor of the speed camera =
Erected a device *estimating* MPH, so earns... oh, a fortune!
David Bourke with:
Ana Scolavino, the housemaid of the model Naomi Campbell =
"So-loathsome volcanic handful aimed a mobile phone at me!"
David Bourke with:
The Manchester United and England footballer Wayne Rooney =
Not wisely, gambled a fortune...and Coleen then rather annoyed!
David Bourke with:
Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and their newborn daughter Suri =
About three: Unmarried mother, useless actor, whining kid.
Larry Brash with:
Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Anni-Frid Lyngstad-Fredriksson, and Agnetha Faltskog =
Funny dress, arranges bad songs, and fans raving on. Frankly, I just liked that blonde one.
Tony Crafter with:
David Beckham admits he has an obsessive compulsive disorder=
Odd behaviour problems invade sick victim's head. Sad; he's a mess.
Tony Crafter with:
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light =
Great Being lit this shaded earth. The land glowed.
Toby Gottfried with:
"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people." =
If I entertain to prove H.L. Mencken, let me: "Inane - INANE! - George Bush 'elected' to power."
David A. Green with:
Pierre Auguste Renoir's 'The Luncheon of the Boating Party' =
Hey, an elite bourgeois group in the top French restaurant.
Rosie Perera with:
"Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." =
If that high Heavenly Father's Son died for all Earth morons' sin, what in the...?!!!
1st - Tony Crafter with:
An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through Mass, the missus leans over to her husband and says, "Oh my goodness, Wesley, I've just done two silent farts, what do you think I should do?"
He says, "Put a new battery in your hearing-aid."
=
An old couple are in a grannie- home.
He says, "Can you guess how old I am?"
"Sure," she ventures, "but first I just need to grab your balls."
With that, she delves down in his pants, has a clutch and says, "Eighty-five."
"Darn! How d'you know that?" he roars.
"You told me yesterday."
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
A rabbi is on a plane with a Korean guy sitting beside him. After a couple of hours, the rabbi leans over to the guy and says, condescendingly, "You know, I've never forgiven you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor." The Korean guy looks up and replies, "What are you talking about?! It was the Japanese who bombed Pearl Harbor. It wasn't the Chinese. And besides, I'm neither Chinese nor Japanese, I'm Korean!" The rabbi says, "Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the difference?"
=
A while later, after a brief nap, a banana, soup, a pie, a pale ale, and a wine, the audacious, tipsy, obese Korean leans over to the sleepy rabbi and says, "Ah, ahem...you know, I've never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic." The rabbi looks perturbed and says, icily, "Oh, pooh! What do you mean?! The Jews didn't do any such thing! An enormous iceberg sank the Titanic, you abhorrent jerk!" The Korean shushes him and replies, "Iceberg, Rosenberg, Weinberg, so what's the difference?"
3rd - Larry Brash with:
An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 for it.
Jill is travelling the world and she is short of funds, so she agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again and after showing her plenty of attention he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees.
This goes on for 5 nights.
On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar, but this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the corner.
Jill is disappointed and thinks that maybe she could pay him more attention. She comes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he is from and he tells her - Melbourne.
"So am I" she says. "What suburb in Melbourne?" "Glen Iris" he says.
"That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?"
"Cameo Street" he says." "This is unbelievable" she says, "what number?"
He says "Number 20" and she is astonished. "You are not going to believe this" she says, "I'm from number 22 and my parents still live there!"
"I know" he says "your father gave me $1,000 to give you!!"
=
This young Australian guy, Steve, is touring England. He enters a church for confession with Father Brendan Fitzpatrick.
He starts: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been six weeks since my last confession."
The priest then says: "Begin telling God your sins, my son."
"I had sex with this girl, Father."
He questions the young man: "And... ah... how many times?"
"Ah...six nights... I think, Father."
"Then to obtain absolution, you have to tell me the lass's name."
He hesitates."No , Father, I think I'd rather not say."
"As I have said, I won't absolve you unless you give her name."
"No, Father, I can't say. I need to protect her reputation and shame."
"Rubbish! I must emphasise to you the importance of telling me this girl's name."
"Sorry, Father", he insists.
"Right then! Hah-hah! Was it Jane Shorter?"
"Father, please, don't press me for her name".
"Blessed Jesus! What is this girl's name!"
"But, Father, please..."
"Okay then... Hah-hah! Was it Julie-Anne Baxter?"
Saddened, he sobs, "Please, Father!"
"By the Holy Ghost! Was it Kathie Shah?"
"No, Father... just bless me!"
"Nothing? Right... I'll not absolve your sins! I dismiss you!"
Banished, Steve walks from the church, his head hanging, dragging his feet.
Outside, two other young Aussies are standing there."How did it go?" one of them asks.
Steve smiles broadly. "Great! I got three more names!"
David Bourke with:
Cherie Blair spent thousands of pounds of the Labour party's money on her daily hairdos during the election campaign trail
~
Yet she still appeared an absolutely horrific, hideous dog's dinner, Tony...top thoroughbred animal in Crufts' champion arena!
Tony Crafter with:
An Aussie visiting his English aunt, was offered a cup of tea. She boasted, "In THIS country, we drink three sorts of tea. There's China tea, which is 90% odour and 10% body; then there's Indian tea which is 90% body and 10% odour, and finally there's English tea, which is 50-50 and by far the most popular."
=
"I find that fascinating, aunt Delphine," he said. "We're such tea fans in Aussie too! We've also got three sorts. There's F.A.R. tea, which is 90% odor and 10% body...green S.H.I. tea, which is 90% body and 10% odour, and finally there's 'Red Bush' C.U.N. tea which is, I think, 50-50...and is, in honesty, by far the most popular!"
Meyran Kraus with:
'Spoiler' summarized (quoted clip taken from the Wikipedia site)
A spoiler is a summary or description of a narrative (or part of a narrative) that relates plot elements not revealed early in the narrative itself. Moreover, because enjoyment of the plot sometimes depends solely on dramatic tension and suspense, this early revelation of plot elements can "spoil" the enjoyment that some consumers of the narrative would otherwise have experienced.
In recent years, spoilers have mostly appeared on specialist Internet sites and in newsgroup postings. In these cases, the spoilers are mostly directed at film endings. Usually the spoiling information is preceded by a warning, or the spoiler has to be highlighted before it can be visibly read on the Web page. But in recent years these warnings have been omitted, and some unwitting readers have had movies they were looking forward to watching spoiled.
=
Seeing that plenty of people noted most of these at one time or another, I present an overview of twelve major movie details so deeply rooted in pop culture, they're not even spoilers anymore:
12. The wearied Crying Game lady is really a man.
11. Luke is Darth Vader's son and Princess Leia's brother.
10. Evil crime-lord Kaiser Soze is in fact a timid cripple played by Kevin Spacey.
9. 'Rosebud' is a long-forgotten wooden sled.
8. Brad Pitt and the tentative narrator in Fight Club were the same person the entire time.
7. It is revealed that Planet of the Apes is Earth.
6. The parcel in Seven contains Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
5. Femme fatale Sharon Stone is Basic Instinct's violent murderer.
4. An eerie Norman Bates is Psycho's moody murderer (pretending to be his own mom).
3. Soylent Green is made of people!
2. Bruce Willis is wearing a piece in The 6th Sense. Oh, and he is a ghost, too.
1. The first Matrix movie was just as puerile and unoriginal as its sequels.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
In An Artist's Studio
2nd - David Bourke with:
'My Way' - Frank Sinatra
3rd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Sudoku Anagram Puzzles
Tony Crafter with:
I started a joke
Rosie Perera with:
Sixty seconds in a minute.
Rosie Perera with:
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven
Rosie Perera with:
Somewhere, over the rainbow
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Homosexual partners =
Poor me... anal-sex hurts.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Straining to fart =
It is not fragrant.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Dominants =
Into S-and-M.
David Bourke with:
Having erotic dreams =
Night, as come arrived.
Larry Brash with:
I shout: "You heartless prick! ~
Stick this up your arsehole!"
Tony Crafter with:
Films a sex-act =
Climaxes fast.
Tony Crafter with:
He's hot and perspires =
She drops her panties.
Tony Crafter with:
Using the services of a hotel prostitute =
It's the price of tart's love in guest-house!
Meyran Kraus with:
The striptease dancer =
Tart had penises erect.
Paul Pan with:
Premature ejaculation =
I jet cream up anal route.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The Pussycat Dolls =
Play those sluts' CD!
Rick Rothstein with:
A real pain in the ass =
Penis hits anal area.
Rick Rothstein with:
Self-gratification's origin? ~
It's a fingering of a clitoris.
Rick Rothstein with:
Shag vixen =
Having sex.
Rick Rothstein with:
An extremely large penis =
Premiere anal-sex... gently.
View with:
O, kosher ~
hookers !
View with:
She's performing fellatio =
Male offers girl hot penis.