David Bourke

Anagrammy Awards > Literary Archives > David Bourke

Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

'My Way' - Frank Sinatra

And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.
I've lived a life that's full,
I've traveled each and every highway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do,
And saw it through, without exemption.
I planned each charted course,
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up, and spat it out.
I faced it all, and I stood tall,
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill, my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh no, oh no not me, I did it my way."

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels,
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows,
- And did it my way!

Yes, I did it my way!

'My Way' - Tony Blair

And now, the end is near,
That full third term,
I wouldn't bet my shirt on!
The Chancellor, I'm sure,
Won't be for long, it's certain.
I've had holidays far-and-wide,
Have taken freebies, not in a shy way,
Started a daft, damn-futile war
- And did it my way!

Lies, I have told a few!
(Um, ah...ok, too many to mention!)
I'd admit with Gordon and me,
Why indeed, there's a tension.
I'd plan my legacy,
Had Ali spin it in his shady, sly way.
At least, he leaked-out that
I did it my way!

Oh, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
The wife's funny gurns,
Were more than even I could chew!
Time after time, rules I'd flout,
I lost the plot...I lost my clout!
I should have gone, and I clung on,
And did it my way!

I have had two and-a-half terms,
I fear to David Cameron losing.
I wish, when I hand-over,
I'd exit at a time of my choosing.
With each half-truth I fade,
I acted in a heavy-handed, high way.
Oh yes, in fact I cheated!
- I did it my way!

What's a P.M? What left has he got?
With a reputation of licking Bush's bott!
Tuscany...I'm at Berlusconi's heels,
The scandal of cash-for-honours deals,
I ran the show, I have to go.
- I did it my way!

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Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for its living;
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

Monday's child is too darn fat,
Tuesday's child's obviously a frigging brat!
Wednesday's? Rigid, cold, a stiffy,
Thursday's child? Foul and kinda whiffy;
Friday's child? A loutish, giggling cretin,
Saturday's child, alas, beds wet in;
Oh, a child of the Sabbath born,
Has cloven hoof, and devil's horn.

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The Miner's Prayer

When the whistle blows each morning
And I go down in that cold dark mine
I say a prayer to my dear Saviour
Please let me see the sunshine one more time.

Amen

A Tasmanian Misery

Brant and Todd, so weary,
Imprisoned, supine, in the cage.
Every pit machine hammer-drills,
Hell, the tunnels took an age.

- Hey, no worries! We're home, sweet home!

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An author owned an *
And kept it in his den,
Where he wrote tales, which had large sales,
Of erring maids and men;
And every time he breached the point
Where stuffy censors lurk,
He called upon that * to do his dirty work!

- The dreaded errant apostrophe's!
Wretched, I think. Awful! Hated!
- What dunderheads' proliferated!
Whether in "tomato's", "chihuahua's",
"Drink's", or in "ale's",
...Why, I once eyed "France v Wale's"!

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Barbara Ann - The Beach Boys

Ah ba-ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann
Ba-ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann

Oh Barbara Ann, take my hand
Barbara Ann
You got me rocking and a-rolling
Rocking and a-reeling Barbara Ann
Ba-ba, ba-Barbara Ann

Went to a dance, looking for romance
Saw Barbara Ann, so I thought I'd take a chance
With Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann
Take my hand
You got me rocking and a-rolling (Oh! Oh!)
Rocking and a-reeling Barbara Ann
Ba ba ba ba ba ba black sheep

Ba-ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann
Ba-ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann, take my hand, Barbara Ann
You got me rocking and a-rolling
Rocking and a-reeling Barbara Ann
Ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann

- "Let's go now!"
- "Ow!"
- "Carl!"
- "Hal, and his famous ashtray!"
- "You smell like Rocky! You're always scratchin' it!"
- "Hey, come on!"
- "Scratch it, Carl, scratch it, baby, right over there!
Down a little lower! Down a little lower!"

Saw...tried...tried Peggy Sue
Tried Betty Lou, tried Mary Lou
But I knew she wouldn't do
Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann
Take my hand
Barbara Ann, take my hand
You got me rocking and a-rolling
Rocking and a-reeling, Barbara Ann
Ba-ba, ba-Barbara Ann

Ba-ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann
Ba-ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann
Barbara Ann, take my hand
Barbara Ann, you got me rocking and a-rolling
Rocking and a-reeling Barbara Ann
Ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann
Oh, Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann
Yeah, Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann
Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann
You got me rocking and a-rolling
Rocking and a-reeling Barbara Ann
Ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann

- "Let's try that again. One more!"

You got me rocking and a-rolling
Rocking and a-reeling Barbara Ann
Ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann

- "Ha ha! Let's try it one more time!"

You got me rocking and a-rolling
Rocking and a-reeling Barbara Ann
Ba-ba ba-Barbara Ann

- "Let's try it once more! One more time! More artistic flavor!"

- "One more time!"

You got me rocking and a-rolling Barbara Ann! Woah!
You got me rocking, you got me rolling! Oh, Barbara Ann!

- "Thank you very much folks!"
- "Thanks Dean!
- "Yeah, it's not bad!"

'A-bomb Iran-ran-ran' by Bush Boy

Baby, take ma haa-aaa-aaand,
Attack an Arab laa-aaa-aaand,
Y'aaall undaaa-staaa-aaa-aaand?
Dang, Blair! Ah got a lovely feelin',
Shock-an'-awe'll leave Arabs reelin'!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb-bomb Iran...!

Ya wanna warn that thar Ayatollah?
- Dubya gonna go grab his Arab collar,
An' he'll be turned into a rasher,
By a birdbrained bible-basher.
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb Iran-ran-ran...!

Lookin' ta grab oil,
For an Arab war ah truly spoil,
Baghdad an' Basra are rank toilets,
An' ah wanna torch Tehran!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb-bomb Iran...!

North Korea? Too darn strong!
(Like the ragtag Vietcong!)
But a bargain Arab barrel,
Gonna be goin' for a song!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb-bomb Iran...!

Arab architecture burned?
Carry on, bomb...ah ain't concerned!
Wanna cause carnage an' a ruction,
Gonna bag any reconstruction!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb-bomb Iran...!

Cause trouble, charred-black rubble,
Kick Arab butt, an' make 'em holler...
No Arab crank gonna get in the way,
O' the almighty dollar!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb-bomb Iran...!

Gonna wear drab khaki,
Get angry, an' kinda narky!
Gonna barbecue an Arab butt,
Clobber a bastard raghead darky!
Gonna race! Barely time ta blink,
Back ta the Arab nuclear brink!
Ah can blanket-bomb Beirut
- Kinda cool, ya gotta think!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb Iran-ran!

Bang bang! A long-range rocket battle,
Blast away any Arab banner,
George, an' the boy Blair ready,
In a star-spangled bandanna!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...!

Big bad George ain't a Gandhi!
Ah's an arrogant yankee-doodle-dandy!
A war on Arab terror gonna be easy,
Like from a baby nabbin' cherry candy!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...a-bomb-Iran-ran!

Rang back ta barrack Annan,
Barked: "Ya gonna carry the Arab can!",
Bang bang bang, Annan! Gung-ho!
- Right now...on CNN, ya know!
Bring it on! Gonna be Barney Rubble!
Yabbadabbadoo! Rock on!
A war, it's a real ball, baby...
Abracadabra! All Arab garbage gone!
A-bomb Iran-ran-ran...!

("Ok, ok...but where IS Barbaria?")

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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